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mhall1201 Archive

View 0 posts and 50 comments by mhall1201 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Forgive. Forgive her, forgive her family, forgive yourself, forgive your family. True forgiveness unbelievably difficult. Not only is forgiveness healthy for you as a person, but it also allows you to get opportunity to demonstrate yourself that you can do difficult things. Don’t badmouth your ex. In social and work settings, it is a very bad look. Nobody that you’re talking to cares who did what and whose fault it is. (The only exception to this rule would be the most private of settings, forum…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:10 PM
3

If you’re not attracted to the woman, you’re having sex with, don’t have sex with her. If you are stressed out because of the divorce or your job or life in general, and you don’t feel like having sex, there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we all, just need to go back to our corner. Keep our head down a little bit and take some time to ourselves. Nothing wrong with that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 03:46 PM
2

She played guilty to the contempt charge. She really had no other choice. Everything I was saying was the truth, and I had the ability to prove it. If I had chosen to go before the judge and let him decide, most likely she would have done a few days in jail. She played guilty and agreed to make write everything on the market site. My lawyer told me that if she did it again, she would definitely get a few days in jail. The strategy of charging her with contempt was successful. From then, on, she …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 05:58 PM
13

It’s her idea, maybe she should be the one to leave the house. She doesn’t the kids lives interrupted? Forcing the kids to stay with the parent that wants the family to split could be very traumatic for them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 05:55 PM
5

Been through this. I filed a contempt charge with the court. She could have been given a few days in jail but I agreed to a slap on the wrist because it seemed like sending mom to jail would’ve been a bad look for me. Fortunately it worked.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 01:19 PM
2

If you are working 100 hours a week, she is raising those kids alone as a single person. I am a person who has made this same mistake. Many times as men we feel like our families want all the material things life have to offer. In reality, they want you to be there. If she is claiming to be willing to go to therapy, go do it!
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 01:14 PM
8

He is a con artist. Get rid of him. You are a admitted gold digger.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:03 PM
2

I second this! Like they say on an airplane, if the masks drop out of the ceiling, put it on yourself first. You have to take care of yourself, your sanity, your health, First. You cannot take care of everybody else if you are falling apart. Take a second, hug your kids, tell them that you love them. They don’t want or need a perfect dad, they want a dad that loves the hell out of them. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 02:30 PM
3

As I say to every person that goes through a situation like this, I am truly sorry that you had to endure such a painful thing. I would encourage you to consider two ideas. You have children with this woman. The finalization of the divorce will not be the end of your dealings with this woman at a legal level. It is not out of the question that you may end up in court or some other setting, where another person is making decisions about your situation. I would encourage you to be careful of putti…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 11:34 PM
1

I understand you concerns with the daughter and some guy moving in, but you’re lucky she even mentioned it. Just about every guy is concerned by a situation like this. Understandably. It seems like the only reason she is asking is because she doesn’t want to loose he health care and she is trying to gauge your reaction. Keep in mind, the news and people only talk about the cases where the guy is a creep and the kids are harmed. That is a vast minority of men. Many times the new boyfriend is not …
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 06:39 PM
2

When I was looking, I had asked another lawyer that I knew who he would speak to if he was in my situation. (Kinda like asking a doctor who is their doctor.) pointed me to the perfect guy.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 06:25 PM
10

“Hell, he has custody, he might even be on this sub.” Very well put sir.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 02:22 PM
8

This is a very tough situation. The trap of this situation is that we spend so much time worrying about things we can’t control. It is difficult to accept, but you most likely have zero ability to influence that situation. Worrying about that stuff will rob you of happiness in you life. We fear that are kids are put in a unsafe situation but consider this: the vast majority of men are not bad people. They do not prey on children. Most are not dried addicts. We hear every story in the news every …
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 02:21 PM
1

I wish I had good advice on how to handle the situation. Unfortunately I’m scratching my head. On the plus side. The cost of this thing will probably exceed the amount that a person can give a family member without reporting it to the IRS and paying taxes. Down the road you’ll be able to report them both! Keep that one in your pocket for when you get mad down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 07:46 PM
3

The decision to stay or not is probably not yours to make. The faster that you accept that, start repairing that wound, the faster you’ll recover. Another commenter said, “why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?”. That’s a great point. As far as your concerns with her, being another person, you need to come to grips with the fact that there may be. She won’t tell you if there is. Regardless, when she tells you, she wants a divorce, the person you used to know is no…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 03:14 PM
8

I agree with the the two points you made and would add that even if you did know the complete truth, it would not make you feel any better about it. (It may make you feel worse.)
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 05:46 PM
6

Get a new therapist. Many people don’t get what they need out of therapy because they don’t mesh well with their therapist. I’m sure this guy means well. He probably has genuine care and concern for you. But it’s not working with him. He won’t be offended. Most likely, there is a line of people out the door waiting for a therapist. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You’re not going to get over 20 years in a few months. My therapist once explained to me that the way a person reacts over …
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 09:29 PM
7

It’s a combo. My divorce attorney told me that when it comes to older boys, they generally have more in common with dad and mom. It turned out to be the case. And yes, I agree. There’s no shortage of playing the perfect mother in public.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 08:10 PM
15

My youngest and last in the house just took off to Paris Island last week to become a marine. I’m so proud. To answer your question as simple as I can I could not imagine any other thing over the last 10 years that could’ve made my life even remotely as fulfilling or happy as being a single dad. On paper 60D/40M. The last few years, 100% dad.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 05:56 PM
2

Need to elaborate a little bit more. Are you saying that your ex is late to start her purging time? Is she late dropping the kids off for your parenting time? Pre-divorce. Keep accurate, detailed records of these occurrences. Judges and magistrates get pretty cranky, real quick, when one party is blatantly, disregarding court orders. Any correspondences with your ex need to be in writing. Email or text message. Be brief and polite. Keep it friendly. State your point very clearly and don’t fight.…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:26 PM
6

A. Get divorced. Any chance of things working out with the wife are probably not real strong for the long term. B. get rid of a 27-year-old. You didn’t tell her you were married? That’s not gonna end well you need to take some time for yourself. C. TAKE THE FUCKING MONEY! If the roles were reversed, she would have no problem, taking it from you. It would be better to take the money, and in a year if you still feel guilty about taking it, you could give it back. If you don’t take the money, you m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:35 PM
4

I would recommend getting a second opinion from a different unconnected attorney. I get it, it costs money, but not 5 grand money. Not many people get the second opinion when it comes to lawyers. Lawyers are like every other profession, some are great, some are not.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 05:40 PM
4

I don’t like to use the word blame. We have a society that doesn’t teach young people how to maintain quality long-term relationships. We look back and realize the error of some of our judgments and decisions and we question if we should be blamed. It is so damn easy to get married. In most cases, nobody sits down with a engaged couple, and explained how legally serious the act of getting married is. No other contract in life would be considered legal if both parties entered into it in such a re…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 06:46 PM
2

OK… So we are in a man centric group. I (a man), am speaking to another man, about issues divorced men deal with… forgive me, One-Donkey-9418. I will make my greatest effort to be a better person… When I’m in a men’s group. Talking to a man. About issues that men face with regard to a specific topic…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 06:35 PM
2

I apologize if I offend you. However, this group is called “divorce_men”, the main audience is divorced men…..if you are here and you are not a man, no offense is intended.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 04:04 PM
6

It all depends on the situation. Do you have kids? I had the same dilemma regarding a box full of wedding, Momentos, and photos. A friend advised that I not throw it away, rather store it somewhere for my sons. Sometime later, I agree that it may be important to them someday. Be cautious of taking advice from a group of misfits on Reddit. (shout out to dog_fart_tacos !)You will find men that wish they could delete out of their life the years that they were married. They will tell you to throw it…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 01:41 PM
20

You don’t have to be friends. I think of your relationship going forward as a business relationship. Just like you said, be cordial, friendly, and keep things to a minimum. With respect to your children, they don’t need to know what she did. Eventually, they will figure it out, but it doesn’t need to come from you. Respect the idea that this woman is their mother. They love her like anybody would love their mom. If somebody openly badmouthed, your mother, you would understandably be upset and it…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 01:32 PM
2

I agree wholeheartedly with the first paragraph of this comment. Many people only visit one attorney. Attorneys are like ice cream, many flavors, but only one is the best for you. Also, don’t be lured into the free first hour of consultation. Nothing is free. The free first hour is just a gimmick to get you in the door, knowing that you are not likely to get a second opinion, you will pay for it eventually. When choosing my divorce attorney, I spoke to another attorney that I was dealing with fo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 12:03 PM
3

The idea of “I’m hers, she’s mine” that’s over, a thing of the past. Not my girl, just my turn.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 03:38 PM
5

“She said that we would always be friends….” That’s woman speak for “i want to get outta here without you crying or making a scene and then I don’t ever intend on speaking to you again. Seriously, bro. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. The stuff that all these other guys are saying, it’s true. The woman who used to know doesn’t exist anymore. Her body is alive somewhere, but that woman is gone forever. What you mentioned, about being her best friend one day and the next couldn’t look a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 03:59 PM
12

It’s a long road man. If you had all the answers, it wouldn’t make you feel better. You can spend the rest of your life looking back and wondering or you can look ahead and find a better life. A great start is to find a recurring activity that will put you around new people. Go, even when you don’t want to.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:59 PM
1

I only say this, based on the information that I have, and my own experience in the custody process. Generally speaking, those added four days are to accommodate for days that there are things going on in life where you need access to the children, but it’s not on your day. This is a fantastic tool to have especially if you and the X are not on speaking terms. if your ex takes this to the judge, he’s going to take those four days away. The problem is, you’re also going to lose the kids on those …
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 03:29 PM
2

The real question is, do you want to be in your kids life or not? There’s no replacement father, there’s just a father. If you haven’t been perfect, it’s not the end of the world. But you are the only person who can decide if you want to be in your own children’s lives. It sounds like she’s trying to set you up and she’s not doing a very good job at it. She got you to sign a deal that worked out perfectly for her, then, in three months, she decides to move 300 miles away. She couldn’t be more ob…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 03:09 PM
5

I agree fully. I would also add in the meantime: Set a wake up time for every day. Set an alarm, get out of bed, get dressed, comb your hair, even if you have nowhere to go put on decent clothes. Take a walk every day or get some exercise. Read a little or listen to a short podcast everyday. Not trying to be a jerk here, most people don’t want to hear about your misery. We are here in this group to support you. But most people on the street don’t want to hear about it. Reading or getting other i…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 04:40 PM
8

It’s understandable that you want to see your kids as much as you can. Commendable even. It sounds like you’re taking advantage of the situation in some ways. Many times, the four additional day option is written into a 50-50 custody agreement to accommodate for times when you may need access to the child on days that are scheduled to be hers. It’s not necessarily written in there to give you for extra days whenever you want. For a 30 day month, the child is staying with you for 15, with the ext…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 04:13 PM
2

That probably depends on your agreement. A lot of times if the both of you can amicably agree on the terms of your settlement, the courts will go along with it as long as it’s legal. I am the.”51%” in my situation, I actually agreed to move to a certain geographic region and stay there as part of our agreement. We also agreed to no child support, and that we would split all expenses equally. There have been a couple of bumps in the road, but all in all, it seems like a much more fair situation, …
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 05:15 PM
2

I don’t think there’s enough information to make a fair recommendation. When you say 3 to 500k less, less than what? If you’re gonna walk with 2 million or more, walk away, and don’t look back. If you’re going to be left with less than 300 K, fight. In between, that’s a tough one.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:43 PM
2

I don’t think that there is ever really a true 50-50 custody split even though they call it that. There has to be a parent who will maintain the primary address of the child. And they probably also have to be a parent that can make a final decision with regard to medical issues that are not an emergency.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 12:15 PM
1

I would say, just play it cool. Magistrates and judges see parties in divorces doing these things from time to time and frankly, it’s just a bad look. Most of the work in a producing additional discovery is the work it takes you to collect it. Does your lawyer have to read every sentence? You can always produce the documentation to him. If there’s nothing that will affect the case tell him. Is she asking for you to pay her attorney fees?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 11:04 PM
7

Looking back, I knew it was over before I was told it was over. If I could go back, I would tell myself to accept the signs that were there. I wasted a lot of time fighting something that was happening that I couldn’t prevent. Life is short, I’ll never get that time back
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 10:49 PM
7

Be aware. And this may vary from state to state. Some of the parts of your divorce agreement may be extremely difficult, if not impossible to change after the judge signs off on them. Also, all that she needs to do is attend a “free consultation” with an attorney, where that attorney will fill her head with things like “ you supported this guy by staying at home and taking care of the children. You deserve every penny that I can get for you.” furthermore, if you are looking for custody of your c…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 03:41 PM
5

Don’t get discouraged. It takes time. You may have to date a few before you find a good one. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 01:07 PM
2

Step away. Honesty goes a long way for many situations. Married can mean a lot of things. Married, getting divorced. Married, happily. Married, separated. But starting a relationship with a lie? Poisoning the water from the start.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:31 PM
1

I’ve been divorced for 10 years now. The one thing I can say is that I am happy I have chosen my word carefully with my kids and the rest of the world. I’ve seen allot of guys rip up their ex’s, it not a good look.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 12:21 PM
1

You don’t necessarily need to say it was mutual, but you don’t have to tell all of the story. Your ex or STBX has probably has a lot to say about you. Every divorce has 2 side, none of us are perfect. You tell them, they will tell her, she will then tell her side so she doesn’t look so bad. You can make this ugly or can make this civil. Choose your word carefully with the kids. Life truth: Be aware. Anything you tell the kids will likely be repeated to the other parent (and god knows who else).
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 11:42 AM
4

Get a lawyer before you do anything. Don’t move. Don’t tell her your moving. Hell, don’t eat breakfast…….until you get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 11:27 AM
1

If she is throwing tantrums during mediation hearings, let her. Keep your cool and don’t be baited in. The court personnel do not appreciate that behavior and eventually it will cause them to lose any sympathy they have for her. Act professionally. Wear nice clothes. Be cool. You can make it!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 11:24 AM
5

You really need to figure out how get a lawyer ASAP. She will get one. She may all-ready have one. Her lawyer will be probably ask for and get some of the mortgage payment she is asking for if you are not represented. Hesitant to do 50/50? In her mind, those are her kids not both of your kids. You are asking for 50/50, she is negotiating for your visitation of her kids. Oh yeah, she’s coming for child support also. She is not your wife any more. I know that is harsh. I’m sorry that you have to g…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 11:15 AM
22

Agree 100%. Get a lawyer immediately. I’ve seen dozens of guys screwup by not getting representation because they think it will hurt their chances of getting back together. Not being represented early will cause you a ton of trouble.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 06:35 PM
6

Lawyers are expensive. We expect a lot when we spend allot. Your lawyer does not lay in bed thinking about your case. He or she has dozens of clients all with cases going on at the same time. All of them are very invested in their own position. We expect that they are going to remember every syllable we have said. They are humans, they don’t remember it all. Sending things in writing should help this. As far as cruelty / abandonment. No calls to police? No witnesses? She has not previously sough…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 03:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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