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miles_v Archive

View 3 posts and 118 comments by miles_v on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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49

Self-acceptance, mate. You are where you are right now in life and there's nothing wrong with that. The idea that you can't have high quality women in your life because you don't have certain things or achievements yet is ridiculous. Think about it like this: what has this hot girl done, that makes her unattainable to you? So she was blessed with good genes and maybe keeps in decent shape? What else does she have going for her? And you think you have to redo your wardrobe and spend money on gym …
/r/seduction24/10/13 04:14 AM
2

Unfortunately, I don't think there's a sure way of knowing. It's possible that he's into you, but completely oblivious to any signs you're trying to give him. I used to be like that and many of my male friends used to be or still are like that. I think the only thing that would have worked for me, back then: make your flirting more obvious. Like, a LOT more obvious.
/r/seduction29/08/13 08:33 AM
2

The vast majority of women I approach during the day are not creeped out or uncomfortable in the least. Even if the interaction is short and technically a "rejection", she'll usually walk away with a big smile on her face. Of course, I'm sure you don't believe me or you're going to tell me that they just pretend not to be creeped out, to be polite and in reality, they all go home and cry in the shower because they're so traumatized from me talking to them. We'll probably have to agree to disagre…
/r/seduction26/08/13 10:17 PM
1

The point is that you don't make them feel uncomfortable if you know what you're doing. They don't want to be approached by creepy dudes. Especially not on the street, but basically not ever. Don't be the creepy dude.
/r/seduction26/08/13 10:05 PM
-1

I disagree. You could find hundreds of women who would agree with the quoted statement. And when they get approached by an attractive, charming, confident guy in one of those "off-limits" situations? They'll be loving it. What's more, experiencing a positive approach in an "off-limits" situation wouldn't change her mind, either. She'd still tell guys not to approach in such and such a situation. If you see a girl you want to approach, approach her.
/r/seduction26/08/13 08:39 PM
4

Mate, one rejection out of 5? You're definitely a 10. Assume it. The world needs to deal with your amazing attractiveness. :D
/r/seduction21/08/13 11:19 PM
2

Try to make a habit out of touching people when you talk to them. I think the only way to become comfortable with it is by doing it a lot and forming a habit. Start touching early in the interaction. Right away is best. Having a 5 minute conversation without any physical contact and then thinking "I should kino" is not ideal. How to touch: shake her hand and hold it a little longer than usual, touch her arm and shoulder when you make a point, lean in close and place your hand on her shoulder whe…
/r/seduction15/08/13 08:22 AM
15

+1 on assuming attraction. I've had some seriously weird experiences both ways: sometimes, I was sure she was into me and giving me lots of signals, but then it turned out I was wrong. On the other hand, I've had situations where I was certain she wasn't into me and I wasn't seeing any positive signals, but it turned out she was massively attracted. Conclusion: the only signal I look for is "is she still here?" With that in mind, keep escalating physically until you're either having sex or have …
/r/seduction14/08/13 06:29 PM
1

Good find!
/r/seduction14/08/13 06:25 PM
1

Pretty much this. If you're already extroverted and interact with women frequently, it should be fairly easy to step it up. Start physically escalating and sexualize the conversation. That's a crude but very easy to remember way for turning regular conversations into flirting.
/r/seduction14/08/13 12:09 PM
1

I don't have any specific tricks to offer, but what works for me is taking a real interest and trying to figure out what makes her tick. Most interactions start with small talk, which is generic and kinda boring. I want to get past that and learn the unusual things about her. I want to see past the "public mask" that all people wear and find the real person behind it. One thing that helps accomplish this is when you yourself are very direct and honest. Don't give lame middle-of-the-road answers …
/r/seduction13/08/13 09:32 AM
2

Congrats on having a breakthrough like this. Very cool stuff!
/r/seduction13/08/13 09:20 AM
3

I suspect that jealousy has a lot to do with your sense of self worth and self acceptance. How much do you agree with the statement: "I love and accept myself exactly the way I am." In my experience, if you agree 100%, you feel little to no jealousy. If you disagree completely, you're extremely jealous. The problem is that there's no quick fix for self acceptance. It's one of those things that you have to work towards in all aspects of your life and it can take a lot of time. That's what it was …
/r/seduction13/08/13 09:15 AM
2

Fair enough. I don't think I can offer any specific trick that will change how someone feels. What I can say is this: in my experience, comparing yourself to others is an excellent way to feel miserable and remain stagnant. This applies to any area of life. Get into the habit of comparing yourself to your former self. The only thing that matters is that you are moving forward. No matter what your goals are, you can always unfavorably compare yourself to others. There are always people who are ri…
/r/seduction13/08/13 09:06 AM
21

A recent one comes to mind: she told me that she has a boyfriend. My response was something along there lines: "Well, I just wanted to let you know that I think you're gorgeous. Since I can't be hitting on you, just enjoy that compliment for what it is." The wording was probably quite different, in the moment. What I wanted to get across was: I simply want to express myself and she should feel free to enjoy it. She loved it.
/r/seduction12/08/13 09:05 PM
146

Attraction isn't a linear scale. The other guy isn't just "more attractive" than you and therefore no girl would want anything to do with you, as long as he's present. Think about it. That's a completely ridiculous idea. There can be tons of attractive guys and girls around. The question is not "who's the most attractive?", the questions are "are they your type? Are you their type?" I'm a very relaxed, calm type. If a girl is looking for a crazy party guy, we won't be a match. If there's a super…
/r/seduction12/08/13 08:57 PM
1

Yeah, I totally agree. I see where the advice comes from, but it totally misses the point, IMO.
/r/seduction12/08/13 06:32 PM
3

Wow, thanks. Glad I could contribute like that. :)
/r/seduction12/08/13 06:32 PM
108

I think it's all in the subcommunication. As an example: I've read somewhere that you shouldn't make self-deprecating jokes, because that's unattractive or not alpha or whatever. I think the truth is that it depends on where the joke is coming from. If you make a self-deprecating joke because you're insecure and you're indirectly fishing for compliments, it's needy and unattractive. If you make the same joke because you genuinely think it's hilarious and you're not expecting or hoping for a spec…
/r/seduction11/08/13 06:55 PM
1

Just depends on where you look, IMO. Sure, there is some seduction advice that's very manipulative and comes from a place of insecurity. It's by and for guys who have some serious self-worth issues and try to find ways to compensate. Most of that stuff is considered very old-school now, anyways. For me, all of the advice that I read and take seriously is based on becoming more confident, more honest, more direct and living a more awesome life. I used to be a "nice guy" and that made me very disi…
/r/seduction11/08/13 12:12 PM
2

Doing cold approaches is badass. Why would you mind if other people know about it? Doing cold approaches when you're sober and you know you suck at it is even more badass. You should be proud of it.
/r/seduction07/08/13 09:07 PM
1

How much digging did you do in here, to find anyone advising you to do magic tricks, hit on all the girls in a set and use "PUA lingo" in interactions with women? To me, this looks like a criticism of the cliched impression of "pick up artists" most people who've read the blurb of The Game and nothing more have.
/r/seduction07/08/13 09:04 PM
1

My policy for pretty much any question is that there are two options: A) Simply state the truth. B) Say whatever you think is the funniest thing to say, in the moment. B can be something that's jokingly funny or something that's funny to you, because it's so ballsy or so "wrong" and you want to see her reaction. What matters: with the gf question, if you answer something like "it's complicated" because you're ashamed of not having a gf or want to divert attention from that fact, it's going to be…
/r/seduction07/08/13 08:57 PM
2

I remember reading about mirroring years ago and ever since, it's something I've paid attention to when I'm at restaurants (looking around at other tables). It is quite funny when you notice it and see people do the "synchronized eating" thing.
/r/seduction03/08/13 07:18 AM
2

This is actually quite common for people eating together, especially in pairs. It does indicate that you have good rapport, but I don't think there's much to be read into it, beyond that.
/r/seduction03/08/13 07:07 AM
2

Dude, relax. This is not nearly as dramatic as you make it out to be. Go get another 20 kiss rejections, it can be fun. :) Give yourself some props for going for it. Her reaction doesn't matter. You can't control her reaction. Your job is to do you thing. In this case, you did it and there are some things you can learn from what happened. Now go and apply what you learned on some other girls.
/r/seduction02/08/13 08:18 AM
1

A typical example is that when you're having a great time and being the life of the party, you bring value. You let other people join in on the fun you're having. However, that's just one of many possibilities. Personally, I'm not the wild, crazy party-type. But I bring value in other ways: I might be the guy you can finally have a meaningful conversation with, after you've dealt with shallow bullshit all day. Some people have told me that I have a calming, relaxing effect on them. Because I'm r…
/r/seduction02/08/13 08:10 AM
2

You're expecting them to do too much of the work for you. From what you write, it seems like you want a clear signal that says "yes, please approach me now". That's not how it works. You have to put yourself out there, signals be damned. If you notice the jogger stopping after she spots you, you definitely need to approach. If you get a smirk from the ice queen, you definitely need to approach. Just be honest. You spot one of these girls. Do you want to go talk to her, right now? If the answer i…
/r/seduction02/08/13 07:55 AM
2

Upvote for taking action! Just by pushing past the approach anxiety, you're already in the top tier of guys out there, when it comes to your chances of meeting awesome people and getting laid.
/r/seduction28/07/13 11:10 AM
2

Was only 7 or 8 times for me. Looks like I need to step up my game. :)
/r/seduction28/07/13 09:40 AM
1

It might be helpful to shift your focus. This is something that has helped me a lot. I work in a field where failure is more frequent than success, but a very large margin. I used to beat myself up about failures and almost ignore success. I think we're conditioned to do so. In school, people always point out your mistakes. When you pass, that's just what's expected, but when you fail, there's a lot of commotion. I had to change my perspective and start really celebrating my successes and not st…
/r/seduction27/07/13 06:49 PM
1

I see what you mean. Do you have any really positive experiences on the flip side? If you get a lot of rejections and a couple of lukewarm responses, that's different from getting a lot of rejections and also having some awesome interactions. I guess the question is: do you also have memories of really awesome interactions, that you could bask in?
/r/seduction27/07/13 05:44 PM
1

My first paragraph was only in response to this bit in the OP: Or do i just have to bite the bullet and continue on? I agree with you: since I don't have the same experience, I'm not in a position to say whether or not biting the bullet and continuing on would make a difference. The second point I made based on my own experience. For me, that has been the defining difference. I went from very low self-esteem and self-worth to high self-worth and it has made a massive difference to a slew of soci…
/r/seduction27/07/13 05:41 PM
4

Forcing yourself to approach more and get more rejections might work and make you care less and less, over time. I don't know for sure though, as I haven't been in a similar situation as the one you describe. What I'm pretty sure would work is if you can increase your intrinsic sense of value. Basically, it seems like you seek external validation. Rejection has a big emotional effect on you, because you depend on external signals to determine your own value and worth. There is a lot to be said a…
/r/seduction27/07/13 09:39 AM
1

Do you have one or more friends to go out with, who don't act all bitchy about sarging (even if they don't sarge themselves)? All I could think when reading about the batshit crazy girl is that me and my mate would have laughed our asses off about this. And then probably challenged each other to try and get an even worse/crazier reaction from someone else. That's not to downplay how you feel. Just saying that having an ally can really help.
/r/seduction27/07/13 09:22 AM
3

Check out this very good answer to a similar question: approaching in loud clubs. Apart from what you can find via the link, it looks to me like most of what you struggle with is in your head. You say you get IOIs from across the room, but negative reactions as soon as you approach. Forget about the line. It doesn't matter what you say (especially in a loud club). I bet this has everything to do with how you feel, what you project, your body language etc. and nothing to do with what you say. And…
/r/seduction27/07/13 09:18 AM
1

Why, thank you. :)
/r/seduction26/07/13 07:11 PM
1

You were definitely over thinking the number part. She clearly wanted to stay in touch. Don't worry about making the number exchange super cool and smooth and whatnot. Who cares? Get the number (awkwardly, if necessary). Go on a date. Have cool and smooth sex.
/r/seduction26/07/13 03:15 PM
0

I often have a "not in my reality" roleplay going on, which this would fit into nicely. If she makes a comment like that, the response would be something like: "Comparing yourself to others and making yourself feel bad? You know you don't get to do that around me. And you know why, right? Because it's bullshit." Looks a bit weird, written out like that. I'd be smiling and wouldn't deliver this in a serious tone. The "not in my reality" game is all about how she gets to do all the boring, regular…
/r/seduction26/07/13 10:00 AM
2

The average interest level girls have in you is almost certainly significantly higher than your perception. This is such a good point. So many guys (especially geeky and introverted types) go through life thinking no woman could ever want them, when that's simply not true. I was in this kind of self-delusion for years, as well.
/r/seduction26/07/13 09:52 AM
16

In your situation, having some semi-canned material might help. What I mean by that is preparing some things that you can fall back on. For example, finding something about her that you can use to make an assumption. What's you first impression, when you see her? Is she a party girl? Does she look like a school teacher, to you? Does she look like she's the center of attention, wherever she goes? Doesn't matter whether your assumption is correct or not, by the way. I like to make obviously outlan…
/r/seduction26/07/13 09:44 AM
3

That's awesome. I will hold you to this, though. I want to see a reply or a PM or something with a report on what happened.
/r/seduction25/07/13 06:22 PM
7

Money If you want to make stacks of money, that's fine. But realize that it's a process. It's something you can focus part of your life on (to the exclusion of other things). It's something that can grow over time. There's absolutely no point in wanting more money, right now. That's not how it works. Also (and more importantly), realize that if you want to pursue this goal, you need intrinsic motivation. If you make the connection "if I have money, women will like me" in your head, it will forev…
/r/seduction25/07/13 06:09 PM
9

So you're a college student and you lack money? I've never heard of such a thing before... Seriously though, forget about the money. I mean, be smart with money, but don't worry about not having a lot of it, at the moment. Won't hinder your game. lack of self confidence How does that express itself? Can you describe a situation where you notice your lack of self confidence coming into play? trying to get a degree to better improve my conditions That's cool, definitely keep doing that. For your i…
/r/seduction25/07/13 05:14 PM
5

Agreed. I like the general vibe of seddit, with a focus on being real and living an awesome life and very little in the way of manipulation, macho-bullshit and other staples of some pickup communities.
/r/seduction25/07/13 10:44 AM
6

I clearly can't read IOIs :/ If she's still there, assume she's interested. Me and my friends have had experiences where we were sure we were getting strong IOIs, but never got to a close, as well as situations where we were sure she wasn't interested and we did get the close. My conclusion from this is that trying to analyze IOIs is not a great use of your time.
/r/seduction25/07/13 10:41 AM
1

Awesome write-up, man!
/r/seduction25/07/13 06:56 AM
1

Congrats on taking the plunge, mate! My impression from the FR is that you're too caught up in your own head, right now. This is difficult to avoid when you're reading tons about seduction, but haven't put much into practice. When you meet with her again and you find yourself thinking about and analyzing the situation, try to remind yourself that you're there to enjoy the interaction. Do things that are fun for you and that you want to do, more than obsessing over trying to do things that will g…
/r/seduction23/07/13 02:47 PM
2

Don't lose sight of the other end of the spectrum. Here, you can read stories from very experienced guys and in some cases, even though they're running great game, things don't work out. Does that mean you have to be as good as or better than these guys before you have any chance of getting laid? Nope. On the other end of the spectrum, you have guys who don't know the first thing about seduction and basically do everything wrong, but they still end up with girlfriends. Look at it like this: even…
/r/seduction23/07/13 08:16 AM
2

Damn. I need to learn how to plow through obstacles like that. Nicely done.
/r/seduction22/07/13 10:40 AM
2

Cool stuff! Joined and would love to see it take off.
/r/seduction17/07/13 12:42 PM
1

I'm sure there's some body dysmorphia going on there (you think you're a lot uglier than you really are). But it's impossible to tell, without actually knowing you (you in Eastern Europe anytime soon?). If things are as bad as you make them out to be, there are still solutions. There are actually women to whom looks are secondary, but clubs and bars are probably not where you'll meet them. Live an awesome life and expand your social circle to up your chances. Maybe your type of game won't be ins…
/r/seduction15/07/13 11:25 PM
1

Are you somehow disformed? If so, then that's definitely an added level of difficulty to all this. If not, then I bet most of it can be counter-acted with your attitude. There are several pick-up "gurus" out there who are anything but conventionally attractive and it doesn't stop them from doing their thing. If you go in beaming with positive energy, would women still run away screaming? I bet not. Apart from that, I'm afraid I'm the wrong person to ask about looks. I'm the least fashion-aware p…
/r/seduction15/07/13 10:40 PM
1

Cool stuff. Let us know how it goes.
/r/seduction15/07/13 07:10 PM
18

I honestly don't think you can be any more boss than this, when it comes to losing your v-card. Well done, man!
/r/seduction15/07/13 04:44 PM
4

So, here's a "hack" that will work well for you: go talk to some other girls as well. You've already had the experience of overcoming the fear and talking to someone. You've proven to yourself that you can do it, so now you can go do it some more, without having to worry about it. Why talk to other girls? Because it will make you less needy when talking to "the one".
/r/seduction15/07/13 12:17 PM
1

I'd like to know more about these failures. I consider myself a bit of a failure expert. It's a big part of my life. Because I keep trying new things and keep trying to improve and also because of the nature of my work, I am constantly failing at things. I'm very happy, though. I don't have a problem with failure at all and I know that a lot of it is just a mindset thing. That's why I'd like to get more details. More details => more useful feedback.
/r/seduction15/07/13 12:14 PM
2

Good on you for approaching! Next time, try this: when you run out of things to say, just comment on the very thing that's happening to you. E.g.: "Damn, I really wanted to chat you up right now, but I've already run out of things to say." The important part is the first part. If you're shy about it and just go: "Heh... already out of things to say..." you'll just be stuck again. But if you're honest and a bit ballsy (can be a lot more ballsy than the above example), you'll get a reaction.
/r/seduction15/07/13 12:04 PM
3

You need to provide some details, mate. Specifically: 1) Is it a fear of sex that we're talking about? If so, what goes through your mind when you think about a situation where you're with a girl and she's down for it? 2) If it's something else (asexuality, religious reasons,...), let us know. Otherwise we're just poking in the dark (no pun intended). 3) What makes you think it inevitably must lead to sex? A lot of the advice here has to do with generally becoming a more social person, enjoying …
/r/seduction15/07/13 11:51 AM
5

Nice FR! Thanks for posting.
/r/seduction15/07/13 07:11 AM
2

That's it. I was thinking about this question and one answer I came up with for me is that I really love animals and like to play with them, pet them etc. Women tend to like that a lot about me. But you know what? A friend of mine has this same trait, but stronger. When he sees a dog, he'll go all baby-voice with it and shows much more playfulness and enthusiasm than I do. That's basically a "more alpha" way of doing it, because it shows that he DGAF.
/r/seduction15/07/13 07:04 AM
3

Yeah, the gay thing was lucky, but you also deserve credit for just rolling with it like you did. Would have been easy to get all defensive and needy in response to that.
/r/seduction15/07/13 06:59 AM
14

Great first experience actually having the balls to approach. Dude, that's beyond epic for the first time. I'd say that's so good, it could actually bite you in the arse. They won't all go like this, but don't let that stop you.
/r/seduction14/07/13 11:45 PM
4

It's a great story and Neil is a badass author (his other books are also well worth reading). Back when I read it, I loved two things about it: 1) It opened my eyes to the idea that seduction is a skill you can work at and improve. I had been the typical loser and I thought that was just my lot in life. 2) It was pretty raw and honest. It showed that many guys who got deep into the community crashed and burned. Hard. The actual routines and methods described in the book do seem very antiquated n…
/r/seduction14/07/13 06:12 PM
3

For me, it's sex. I've made big improvements already, in being more assertive, allowing myself to enjoy sex more, communicating what I want etc. (I used to be an excruciatingly bad lay). But there's a lot more to improve. I think I've gone from "awkward lover" to "good lover", but I want to be more than just a good lay. I want to blow her mind and unleash her inner slut. I want her to be able to do things with me that she never felt comfortable doing with anyone else before. I want to help her d…
/r/seduction12/07/13 04:35 PM
4

There's something you can do to make the social pressure work in your favor. You can basically launch yourself at a target in such a way that there's almost no turning back. What you're experiencing right now probably goes something like this: you spot a girl and start strolling towards her or slightly adjusting your course, so that you'd cross paths with her. As you get closer, you start this inner dialogue and ultimately convince yourself to not open her and just walk past. Part of this is bec…
/r/seduction12/07/13 03:23 PM
4

Damn. I read the title and thought: "well, that won't work for me, because I'm passionate about marketing and who wants to hear about that?" Thanks for posting this. Gotta give this a try.
/r/seduction12/07/13 12:48 AM
2

Yes. Great book and definitely worth the price.
/r/seduction12/07/13 12:43 AM
2

I agree that you shouldn't make too big a deal about kissing. If the worst thing that happens to you today is that you make out with a girl that you don't feel a profound connection to, you've had a pretty good day by most standards. My advice: make your intentions clear from the beginning and if you want to delay physical stuff, use it to your advantage. Instead of shutting her out, tease and withhold. Maybe just go for a quick kiss, then tell her something like "don't get greedy!" with a grin …
/r/seduction11/07/13 09:22 PM
12

You're very welcome. Let me add some more unsolicited advice: If you decide to do this (or something similar), you have to know that it will be quite difficult to stick to it. Basically, it's something most people will maybe do once or twice and then forget about. For me, that's a motivator. I hate the idea of being average, so anytime I can do something most people aren't willing to do, to achieve something most people aren't capable of doing, that's all the motivation I need. This might not wo…
/r/seduction11/07/13 08:46 PM
61

This frustration can be used as fuel for getting off your ass and improving yourself. It's easy to lose sight of priorities. One thing that worked for me in the past is to write down a "mantra". A couple of years ago, I was similarly frustrated. So I wrote down all the things I wanted to improve, on a piece of paper. I wrote them in terms of "this is what I believe in, this is what's important to me, these are my goals". I think it's better to frame it that way than to be overly negative. Then, …
/r/seduction11/07/13 03:35 PM
2

I agree and have an example that illustrates the problem with IOIs quite well: in the past few weeks I've had interactions where depending too much on IOIs would have totally mislead me. Basically, one girl I talked to on the street and then had a subsequent date with seemed to be giving me ALL the signs. She was all over me, constantly brought up sexual topics and much more. I was sure I was gonna get laid in no time. But she kept stopping my attempts to escalate physically, beyond a certain po…
/r/seduction09/07/12 11:10 AM
5

+1 on cooking. It's an extremely valuable life-skill, if you even just know how to cook a couple of simple, healthy and tasty meals. The impress-the-girl factor is just a nice bonus.
/r/seduction30/06/12 12:15 PM
2

I don't drink alcohol. Never have. It's just a personal choice I make, with no history of addiction or religion or anything else behind it. I can tell you that I never get a negative reaction to this. Most people are surprised. Guys usually make slightly awkward jokes about it and girls are usually surprised in a positive way. The way I see it, I score a "he's not one of the sheeple" point whenever a girl finds out I don't drink. In short: don't worry about that. As for where to go: take a dance…
/r/seduction30/06/12 09:51 AM
7

As I slowly pull her towards me, I cock my head to the side and at the very last second say "Pff, you can't get me that easy". That is fucking awesome! Going to have to steal that one, I think.
/r/seduction12/06/12 01:39 PM
8

A lot of that would be easy to pick apart, but I'm not going to, because it's besides the point. It's not about those other guys, it's about YOU. It doesn't matter how much better or worse other guys are at seduction, social skills and life mastery. What matters is how much better you are today, than you were yesterday. "I'm not good enough and I can never reach the level of [someone else]." is an excuse that will ALWAYS be available to you, no matter what.
/r/seduction09/06/12 01:19 PM
16

ethos of seddit It's my impression that this doesn't exist. This sub-reddit is not about ethics, it's about seduction. You need to make the seduction stuff fit into your ethos. The way I see it, learning about seduction, better communication skills, being charming etc. is just a way of accumulating power. Power can always be abused. It's like learning a martial art. You can use it to keep in shape, to train your discipline and to defend yourself if absolutely necessary. Or you can go around beat…
/r/seduction07/06/12 11:39 AM
2

Don't allow yourself to use this as an excuse. Who cares about what "gurus" are doing? The only thing that should concern you is what you can do. Fact: there are a lot of great/hot/interesting women out there. Fact: almost all of them are either in a relationship with a guy or interested in being in a relationship with a guy. Fact: the great/hot/interesting women don't always date tall, dark, handsome male model types (sometimes, but not always). Therefore, there must be things a guy like you ca…
/r/seduction04/06/12 12:00 PM
1

Well done, man! Well written report, too. I can see several situations in there where I'm pretty sure I would have crashed and burned. Gotta get me some more practice!
/r/seduction03/06/12 10:36 PM
4

Congrats, man! Now, go top that and report back.
/r/seduction03/06/12 06:10 PM
1

Working on yourself is definitely important. However, I doubt it's too soon for you to go out and approach. What's essential is that you get the goal setting right, especially if you don't have rock-solid self-esteem. If you go out with the idea that you need to get numbers, get dates, get laid and generally get every girls panties wet within two minutes, it will be a very frustrating experience. However, if you begin by setting yourself a very small, very achievable goal and then slowly ramp it…
/r/seduction31/05/12 07:29 PM
2

draping their arms over my shoulders. To me, that's a way more difficult move than putting my arm around her. Just mentioning that because I think it's an indication that it's all in our heads. For some reason, my brain makes a big deal about draping her hands over my shoulders and your brain makes a big deal about putting your arm around her. In reality (and from her perspective) neither are a big deal.
/r/seduction31/05/12 07:20 PM
1

I find that transitions are not necessary. You wanna talk about something else? Just start talking about it or ask her something about it. Not by interrupting her, necessarily. You can make it kind of like a transition by just cutting the previous thread. E.g. she's telling you about work and instead of continuing the topic of work, you say something like "Ok, cool. So, if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?" I've also found that if I obviously and almost jarringly change…
/r/seduction30/05/12 11:26 AM
1

She's Romanian.
/r/seduction30/05/12 10:14 AM
1

Thanks, that's some good stuff!
/r/seduction28/05/12 10:14 AM
2

Dude, I'm not complaining or whining at all. Of course it's my fault, why else would I be asking for advice, here?
/r/seduction27/05/12 11:08 PM
3

That could very well be. I don't know if this applies to you, but for me, I tend to be very analytical and I get stuck in my own head. Something that really helps me is just focusing on the sensations. Focus on what it feels like to touch her, on how great she smells on how she moves etc. This helps me get out of my head and into the moment. Remember that when you're rolling around with a naked lady, you've already reached "the goal". No need to rush towards anything. Just enjoy what's already h…
/r/seduction27/05/12 03:59 PM
5

I'd say you went too far, too fast (for your own comfort). My recommendation would be to focus on the making out part until you're comfortable with that. Experiment to see what you need to find it enjoyable. Ideally, once you achieve that, you'll make out with a girl and the making out will get you aroused to the point where you forget all about your anxiety. Also remember that penis-in-vagina penetration is way overrated. That isn't to say that it's not fun or a great and enjoyable part of sex.…
/r/seduction27/05/12 03:38 PM
1

Cool, thanks for the tip! I'll give it a shot and hopefully it will lead to another FR.
/r/seduction13/05/12 08:09 AM
3

It's interesting, but not particularly helpful. They mention "norming" or establishing a baseline behaviour as a crucial factor to interpreting body language, but then they basically abandon that concept in favour of confirmtion-biased, cherry-picked celebrity-gawking. Anyone can look at celebrity/politician footage and pick out body-language cues that fit into the known historical context of that video. TL;DR: more norming, less celebrity gawking.
/r/seduction29/11/11 09:30 AM
3

Step one: read the links in the sidebar. There's a lot of really good stuff in there and it's the best way to get started.
/r/seduction28/11/11 11:22 PM
1

Awesome! Congrats on overcoming the fear and I hope you keep writing, because that was a great read!
/r/seduction09/11/11 07:30 AM
1

Thanks for sharing! I saw his talk on the 21 convention. While I think he's not a great speaker, I really like his message.
/r/seduction08/11/11 10:10 AM
2

Sure, but being fit, healthy, well-dressed and well-groomed certainly help along the way. There's a lot of "it's all inner game" type advice and I'm sure there are many anecdotes to back up the fact that you can still get laid, even without all of the above. But take a guy and his clone, one of them being fat, unkempt and unwashed and dressed in rags, the other being fit, well-dressed etc. and you can't tell me it's an even playing field, between the two.
/r/seduction07/11/11 10:51 PM
2

Agreed. I don't think there's anything wrong with the content on seddit, though. The way I see it, this subreddit focuses narrowly on a few aspects most directly related to attraction, seduction and social skills. Yes, fitness and health also matter. There are separate subreddits for that. Yes, the way you dress matters. There's a subreddit for that. And so on. For me personally, I like this focus. I'm doing great in most areas of my life, except that I have social anxiety, so the stuff I read h…
/r/seduction07/11/11 08:29 PM
10

I'd just like to add this little tid-bit, concerning: If I were to take every girl's comments (from all the girls who've commented here before), you'd have a list of shit that completely negates every single piece of advice a PUA's ever given. Ladies lurking this sub-reddit are far more likely to comment when they disagree with something than when they agree with something. When you agree with something or are neutral about it, you don't feel the urge to write a post, right? But when you strongl…
/r/seduction05/11/11 11:14 AM
1

Re affirmations: I realize that you might not believe in "that bullshit" either, but do them anyway.
/r/seduction03/11/11 08:36 PM
1

Dude, ignore the "bullshit story" if you don't want to believe it, but pay attention to the rest of this comment. It's spot on. I know you think your "can't" approach someone and ask them for the time. But what if someone really offered you millions to do it? Would it really be impossible? I've used this mind-trick to bust through some limiting beliefs myself. Don't knock it till you try it. And yeah, fuck negativity. Personally, I used tons of affirmations to rid myself of the negativity I'd be…
/r/seduction03/11/11 08:35 PM
2

Awesome stuff! I've always suspected that good club dancing is 50% not caring what others think, 40% predending like you can dance/like everything you do is on purpose and 10% skill.
/r/seduction02/11/11 06:46 PM
4

Came here to say this. Taking the experience of one guy with one profile on a very "niche" type of dating site and then extrapolating that and making loads of "women are such and such...", "bitches do this..." statements is really stupid. Interesting to read, but nothing to learn.
/r/seduction01/11/11 09:51 PM
17

Pay attention to how girls act around you and learn to read the signals. Stop assuming that no one could possibly be attracted to you. Looking back, I realize that myself as well as many of my buddies missed some great opportunities, because we didn't notice that girls were giving us some pretty clear IOIs...
/r/seduction31/10/11 07:29 AM
3

ditching/giving up on a girl if she doesn't respond positively within say - 1 hour. I think it all depends on your definition of "responds positively". If she doesn't respond positively in the sense of being open to an interaction and happy to talk to a guy, the whole thing is over in seconds. To me, the quoted text doesn't mean that she needs to indicate that she's willing to have sex within one hour. She does need to indicate that she likes going along with some escalation, though. Either phys…
/r/seduction27/10/11 06:33 AM
17

Don't know if I agree with any of this, but it sure is damn well written.
/r/seduction26/10/11 12:20 PM
1

Get out of your head for a second. How many people do you ignore on a daily basis? Most of them, right? It's a necessity. You can't pay attention to every person you encounter, everywhere and still get anything done. Look at all those "other people". That's what you're like to everyone else. Just some guy who crossed their peripheral vision for a second. And how many times do you see someone, briefly (or even extensively) think about them, maybe think about approaching them, maybe even fantasize…
/r/seduction26/10/11 07:25 AM
1

So what's your proposed solution? Not talking to hot girls on the off-chance that they'll reject you or are tired of getting hit on?
/r/seduction26/10/11 04:54 AM
1

I believe that you choose who you want to be, so, to a large degree what is or is not "true to yourself" is up to you. However, it's possible to want to change for the wrong reasons. Here's the guideline I use: is the desire for change fear-based? If it is, don't do it and confront the fear instead. Once you've confronted the fear and gained self-acceptance in that area of your life, see if you still want to change. If the desire for change is coming from a confident place and is not fear-based,…
/r/seduction25/10/11 09:10 PM
1

I was a typical "nice guy" until sometime in my early teens. There were at least three girls in my life that I was attracted to, but was only ever friends with, because I never made a move. I was never putting on a facade of niceness in a manipulative way (although I'm not saying that doesn't ever happen). I was just being passive and overly friendly, because I never knew what else I could do. Despite this, my "nice guy" behaviour was still disingenuous, because I never communicated my real inte…
/r/seduction25/10/11 11:24 AM
2

Sounds good! Are you motivated to do some sarging now? :)
/r/seduction25/10/11 09:42 AM
3

Awesome post! I can totally relate and reading all of this, I'm just really, rally grateful that I didn't keep up the "nice guy" behaviour past my early teens.
/r/seduction24/10/11 09:22 AM
1

That might be it... having a sexual intention, but not caring about the outcome.
/r/seduction24/10/11 09:13 AM
3

This is very interesting. Comes back to what I call the "killer puppy" phenomenon, which is that women seem to respond very positively to a dichotomy of both "killer" and "harmless" traits. Basically, communicating that you are A) a badass and B) harmless/friendly at the same time. Picture a huge, hulking alpha-male type guy holding a baby. That's a surefire panty-dropper for many women. Point is that you might have to adjust what you communicate and sub-communicate, depending on your body type …
/r/seduction24/10/11 09:11 AM
40

Awesome write-up! I think there's gotta be more to it, though. Not giving a fuck and not caring whether you attract anyone can't be enough. I've done that for years. I truly, deeply do not care what I look like, what I dress like, whether anyone thinks I'm attractive, whether I get dates or not etc. (note: I'm only just now getting into the game). In years of doing this, of not giving a single fuck, it has not gained me the attention of even one lady. Maybe it has to be the other way around. May…
/r/seduction23/10/11 09:01 PM
3

Upvoted for your honesty and for having the balls to approach.
/r/seduction23/10/11 06:51 PM
2

Thanks! I do want to approach all of this as a social experiment. As for talking to anyone/everyone, I'll give this a try. I have no idea how to do that, but I'll just try to seize any opportunity for starting a conversation that I can find. It's great to know that someone from a similar position as I'm in managed to make this social stuff work for them. Thanks for your comment!
/r/seduction23/10/11 06:47 PM
1

Maybe it's because I have two day 2's lined up for this weekend. This struck me as pretty interesting. Having dates lined up makes outcome independance easier, right?
/r/seduction22/10/11 10:44 AM
2

I like the idea, but I suspect that affirmations are more effective when you are creating them actively. From my own experience, the effects go from weak to strong in this order: thinking them, writing them, saying them out loud, saying them out loud to yourself in front of a mirror. If you can say "I'm a confident badass" (or whatever) out loud, in front of a mirror and it doesn't feel weird at all, that's when you've accepted it as true on a deeper level. That's been my experience anyway.
/r/seduction22/10/11 08:29 AM
1

A few more pointers: like I feel girls go.."Lol i'd never date him" or.."lol i'd never kiss him"...or lol "he's ugly". Shallow bitches be shallow. If there really are people who think like that, why on earth would you want their approval in the first place? More importantly: you aren't that important. People don't spend as much time thinking about you as you do. I don't know, it bothers me so much. I feel like it holds me back from enjoying life. Like If I was a bit more attractive my life would…
/r/seduction15/10/11 08:08 PM
16

Yes, looks matter, but not like you think they do. First of all, fuck the number scale to hell. Don't use it on anyone. Not other's and not yourself. It's completely delusional to think that there's a universal attractiveness scale like that, especially concerning how women view men. I'm not ugly or anything, I think, I'm just one of those below average dudes. So, you're not even properly ugly. And it's good to know that you know it. You're just getting hung up on some detail that's not nearly a…
/r/seduction15/10/11 07:54 PM
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