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miloba_ Archive

View 6 posts and 319 comments by miloba_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I think that’s where context and vetting comes in. Only you can gauge if the response comes from a genuine place, so it’s important to keep vetting to ensure they’re not used with mal-intent. There are a number of reasons people could use similar responses. I don’t like to share the details because they leave you vulnerable to NVM/LVM who may take advantage. At least when I use them, I’m giving them the truth - just a glossed over, simplified version of it. My past is my past, and I don’t owe an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 05:28 PM
43

If anyone is ever curious on how to handle questions about an ex or exes, you can still answer the question in a way that avoids touching on previous relationship issues. For example, I was often asked “why do you think you’re still single?” or “how did your last relationship end?” I don’t enjoy these questions and would never ask them myself, but it is what is it. Here are a couple responses I’ve used that answer the question without unveiling too much: Why are you still single? “I have yet to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 02:22 PM
70

Exactly. You don’t owe anyone an explanation ❤️ It doesn’t need to “make sense” to anyone other than you, OP. Even then, sometimes it doesn’t. Hold true to what your heart and your intuition is telling you, and remind yourself of this if you ever find yourself wavering. We’re only human, and it’s not always easy to end a relationship, even if we know it’s the right thing to do. I’ve ended a number of serious relationships, and I can tell you from experience that the more vague you are about the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 06:25 AM
130

So thankful parents like this exist. Way to hold the son accountable. I’m glad his wife and child will have the full love and support of the grandparents. That said, I’m saddened for the wife and child, and I despise seeing yet another family broken by infidelity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 12:58 AM
149

This was my exact thought too. Outside of the obvious and horrifying attempt to sleep with her sister, there is no indication that they took any tests to determine which parent is actually the infertile one (if it’s not both, which is also possible). I’m disgusted he’s using a horrible situation - the struggle of infertility - to blame his wife for not having children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 05:59 PM
75

I despise the excuse that “oh, I just moved here” because a number of my friends moved here over the last year and reached out to me to suggest thoughtful friend dates. They asked for my availability, they took into consideration my food preferences, asked for dietary restrictions, etc. then booked reservations and showed up on time. These are women who had lived here less than 3 months at the time. My last stint on OLD was full of guys who literally said IN THEIR BIOS “New here, suggest a place…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 09:03 PM
78

I dislike this trend and think it’s fascinating that some people so strongly consider their partner as their main - or one of their main - identifiers. We are far more interesting than who we’re dating or are married to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 09:16 PM
39

Exactly. Years ago my ex attempted this stunt with me. He made no plans, then his car broke down (because he refused to get maintenance done to it) and was so angry about it he couldn’t think or do anything else. He forgot it was Valentine’s Day and completely torpedoed the day and made it all about himself and his woes. He didn’t even mention anything about making up the day until I ripped him a new one. Weeks later, he insisted we do it for real. What did he do? He ran out 30 minutes before I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 09:08 PM
53

This just makes me sad. My goodness, the audacity of the husband and Jane, but I struggle to consider how anyone can take a step back from this situation and not see how far they’re being taken advantage of. Shame on the husband and Jane, and I hope someone shakes some sense into the wife. I would have noped the fuck out of there if this happened to me, and left the two to figure their shit out alone. This woman still has years ahead of her to have the child she wants, and not be entangled with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 09:07 PM
15

areavibes.com or any other crime map for your city will show neighborhoods that have higher than usual crime rates, though I’d do a little more digging to determine the nature of the crime itself (i.e., violent crime). For example, the very wealthy parts of town where I live can show up on crime maps if sheer volume is considered, though they drop off if you strictly look at violent crimes (homicide, sexual assault, armed robbery, etc.) since they’re nearly always stolen bikes or packages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 07:06 PM
133

Men say this shit hoping that it becomes the norm while knowing full well that a man with real interest in a woman would never let her pay on a first date. This is why we vet any potential romantic interest immediately. I’ve been going on a few first dates recently. It’s my first time being single since joining FDS (proudly left my ex-LVM and never looked back), and I have had dozens of men offer dinner/brunch first dates, all nice restaurants, etc. Men who offered anything less did not get a re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 04:09 PM
6

This! And also to use it as a crutch to have the woman find and plan her own date. My friend’s been dating, and she’s quite new to town herself. She kept asking me for restaurant suggestions, and I kept giving them. Then I figured out it was because guys would tell her “you pick, I’m new here!” even though she is as well? Like use Google 🙄 It’s not that hard. She was finding the place, booking the reservation, giving them directions, everything. I was so upset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 01:47 PM
23

I live in a big city, and I cannot tell you how many men include “looking for a tour guide!” or “help me decorate my apartment together!” in their OLD bios. It’s agonizing. Tell me you want the woman to do everything for you without telling me… 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 01:31 AM
82

Exactly. That’s what I honed in on too. The guy’s behavior is disgusting, but even at my lowest point I would have never accepted this from a man. Hate that she had to experience this the hard way but I hope she at least learned from this. But forreal, fuck this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 01:01 AM
27

Exactly. I went to college with a few women who made very firm decisions to not want children after years of part-time nannying. You can love and adore children while still recognizing you don’t want any of your own!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 02:39 PM
15

Your father sounds so wise. Thank you for sharing this! Agreed that it’s never been the height, but the lie, for me as well. One of my exes was 5’7, but he owned that. He has longer legs proportionally, and at the beginning I was even shocked when he (on his own accord) shared that he was 5’7. I said “really?” and he happily took out his license. He had zero concern with his height and never made it a “personality trait” (I equally despise tall men who feel like their height means they get a pas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 03:03 PM
91

Exactly. Obviously there are a lot of personal details left out, but I’m guessing that (despite being younger by a year) she’s maybe 4 years ahead of him academically. If she’s that confident about her looks, she’s sure as hell confident about her incredible academic achievements, and she’s rightfully disgusted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:01 PM
9

Rolling over and going back to bed. I simply can’t right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 02:03 PM
126

I am not a fan of the Kardashians in general, though I have gained more respect for Kim because she has continually prioritized her children, her business, and her education. You can tell she has a lot of passion in the business ventures she pursues, which I can’t say for all of her sisters. It brings me more joy than it should seeing a woman in her position put herself first and not take a man back, despite his desperate and extravagant pleas. I have my own feelings on Pete Davidson, but as for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 08:13 PM
53

“My exes never had a problem with doing it” when I refused to help an ex book his doctors’ appointments 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 01:09 AM
114

One of my exes was absolutely helpless when it came to general health checkups because, for 18 years, his mom or aunts would schedule them all for him. After he turned 18 and was out of the house, he managed to date a number of women back-to-back who took on that responsibility. When him and I dated, he revealed that he had never once scheduled a single doctor’s or dentist’s visit in over 30 years! 💀 My biggest regret was not leaving at that major red flag. When I told him I refused to mother hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 07:41 AM
18

I’d even go so far as to say don’t even respond if propositioned with a “date” like that. He didn’t mention something worthwhile at first, so why spend more time conversing with him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 11:08 PM
26

As always, completely in agreement with you! OP, shyness is certainly feasible in any situation with a stranger. However, he IS on a dating app, and he needs to understand that he needs to take initiative if he ever hopes to transition any of these chats to in-person dates. The hard truth is likely that he’s simply not interested, or he’s not interested enough to attempt much beyond what’s already been done. OP, you deserve a man who is so interested in at least meeting you that he remembers whe…
/r/askFDS30/12/21 08:46 PM
24

Thankfully I’ve avoided this for the last few years as I’m very firm with potential dates that casual sex is out of the picture. My first (and only) relationship that transitioned this way was also my first ever serious relationship. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was also the one where I received the most amount of verbal abuse and name-calling, and was treated with the least amount of respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 06:44 PM
4

I was in the same exact boat not too long ago! ❤️ My parents do well for themselves, but these last few years (since my career’s taken off) I try gifting things I know they’d like. I’m a very perceptive person, and my parents don’t buy a lot for themselves, so I usually don’t have to spend much to add significant convenience to their life! For example, I saw my dad kept reheating his coffee throughout the day since he’s an all-day sipper type, so I got him an insulated mug. This year I even got …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 04:13 PM
9

My first two boyfriends were coincidentally also the only ones to break up with me (I’ve been the instigator every time since). Neither actually jumped into anything after. However, both groveled for me back a few weeks later, so I assume they tried and realized the grass was, in fact, not greener on the other side. And no, I never took them back, even though high school/college me was heartbroken. Even then I knew I was better than a backup. Thank god my mom instilled that in me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 07:33 AM
20

Yes queen! Same here. Treated myself to some items I really wanted, and I spoiled my parents too (I always do though 🥰). Loved having more time and money to focus on myself and my family this year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 02:14 AM
21

This is horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 05:17 PM
6

I like to balance the early part of the relationship with humor and light-heartedness as to not become too serious too quickly. I don’t want this mistaken for non-exclusivity. I mean that - even in exclusive relationships - I don’t like having all of my cards on the table, and having levels of depth to the conversation prevents the relationship from progressing at a pace I’m uncomfortable with. As such, you generally get a good sense of a person’s style of humor. They’ll joke with me, send me me…
/r/askFDS21/12/21 05:14 PM
47

Humor - whether one considers roasting part of it or not - is purely subjective. You absolutely do not need to “take a joke” and are free to set any boundaries you wish for the people around you. There is nothing sensitive about recognizing what you find appropriate or not, especially with humor. That line is crossed far too often. I’m fine with roasting (to a degree), but this is highly dependent on a couple factors. Who is roasting? What is their behavior in the moment? Who is being roasted? W…
/r/askFDS21/12/21 03:01 PM
16

Usually a race-related “compliment” when I reveal my background. Or the whole “you’re so exotic, what are you?” that just makes me queasy on the spot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:40 AM
42

That first part hits home for me. I’ve been fed that by so many people throughout my life. “You’re just going to give up after 6 months? 1 year? 2 years?” Uh, yes? I would rather spend a year in an unfulfilling relationship than 5, 10, or 20. I have zero interest in trying to make a man change. The right man would be whole and complete and complement my life and my existing happiness and success. I’m sorry to hear you had a tough few years, but I’m happy you found a special light with your partn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 07:35 AM
19

Someone give me this level of confidence. This is just sad. This is disrespectful on a whole other level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 09:04 AM
5

A guy tried this on me too! We had mutual friends, so he knew the part of town I lived in and wasn’t a complete stranger. When he asked me on a date, he walked to that part of town, and when I went down to meet him (thinking he couldn’t find a parking spot closer and was going to be walked back to his car), he goes “can you drive? I don’t have a car.” When I said a dumbfounded “what?!”, he goes “maybe we can watch a movie at your place then?” I said “not at all”, walked home alone, and immediate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 04:07 PM
11

+1 to the earplugs. I’d even say noise-canceling earbuds and find an ambient noise or rain sound playlist on Spotify, and put that on repeat. I used to live off a highway near a hospital and heard ambulances all night. Seriously, it’s a game changer. Wishing you luck, OP. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
/r/askFDS08/12/21 02:05 PM
99

I once had a first date attempt to demean and chastise me for my profession, simply because they contradicted his morals and ethics. And yet…he was in the same industry. And at the end of the date said he was likely losing his job due to budget cuts and to keep him in mind for openings at my company. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:24 PM
4

I’ve always liked my name because both my first and last name (as well as my appearance) give zero insight into my racial or ethnic background. Everyone I’ve dated has not had a surname where that was also the case. I’m keeping it. My accomplishments and career have been built off of my name, so why change it to someone else’s?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 04:24 AM
38

Mama’s boys who crave female attention and affection, and who may or may not be willing to trade being babied and fawned over by his mom over to you. Bonus points if he comes from a culture where his mom will also look down on you for not cooking and cleaning for her son while him and his dad post up on the couch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:48 PM
1

Absolutely. Imagine loving your partner’s beautiful hair and yet not allowing her to use the seemingly one thing she prefers for it????? Make it make sense!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 06:41 PM
3

Exactly. Women are far more in tune with the importance of self-care and understanding that health and well-being goes beyond working out. It’s using preventative skincare, vitamins and supplements (if needed), buying products catered to YOU and built for specific purposes, going to therapy, etc. Nearly all of my exes now have a skincare routine because of me (including one who started going into Sephora alone to get his preferred moisturizer). Some have even started using silk pillowcases. I ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 02:04 PM
648

Literally my exact thought. I have a microfiber hair towel/wrap to plop my wavy hair. I’ve worn it in front of men I’ve dated, who either don’t mention it or comment that their mom/sister uses one. If a man ever tried to shame me for using something as minor as a specific type of TOWEL, he’s gone. What a douche canoe. This guy should consider himself lucky his girlfriend took the high road and didn’t cause a scene in front of his family. Yet another one of these AITA posts where the girlfriend i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 06:40 AM
56

Everything I’ve ever heard about Keanu has been glowing. What a gem of a human. Listen, then talk. Listen, then act. There is nothing more attractive than a man is thoughtful and follows through with what he says (or even just lets his actions speak for themselves) with intention, confidence, and humility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 02:45 PM
9

+1. I’d personally go further to say both of those would be shorter for me if the last text was a question directed at him. Otherwise, I’d expect us to keep the conversation going if we were both interested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:40 PM
48

1000%. I have a job that insinuates I make a decent amount just by title, so I’m very limited with the information I share about my actual career. I just say the general field as to not give too much away. You don’t owe anything further unless you’re 100% comfortable. And, even in a serious relationship, do not disclose how much you make. I’ve even withheld when I’ve gotten promoted and done low key celebrations with friends. Why? Because I have unfortunately seen a direct correlation with presu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:38 PM
37

Yeah, she did this to herself and made a ton of mistakes. She agreed to pay for the second date. She knew where they were going. She knew how long they were there for. She assumed this man - a stranger - would give a shit about making the dates equal. Most importantly, she didn’t set any boundaries for herself. She didn’t take control of the situation. She could have looked at her date and asked for his card, if she was insistent on paying for their food and drinks. She could have asked the wait…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:35 PM
11

Yes! Also, how does he react to you being on your period as a whole? Does he distance himself or act like (or god forbid say) he’s grossed out? Or does he step up and make you feel comfortable?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:25 AM
72

Exactly. This sub has mentioned a strong dislike for cats as a possible red flag (excluding scenarios of childhood trauma from a cat-related incident where maybe they’re hesitant or fearful of them). If a man says he hates cats and only likes dogs, safe to say he favors those who are obedient and can provide unconditional love. Cats act independently from their owners and come and go as they please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:52 PM
74

I’m thinking the same thing. His tone is serious throughout; I genuinely believe he thinks this and is playing DeViL’s AdVoCaTe for something as serious as murder. Very glad you dodged this bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:39 PM
46

How horrifying. At least 273 (more, considering he probably got upvotes too) people dislike and/or disagree with that statement. I can’t even fathom that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 03:22 PM
9

You sound like you come from a good place and have a good heart. You’re trying your best, it seems. For that, I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling disheartened by your colleagues - that’s unacceptable, and I imagine that must be tough for you. I hope you keep in mind that people act this way because of their own insecurities and weaknesses. Perhaps they’re truly malicious. Or, perhaps, they’re hurting inside, and they feel as though the best way to heal is to avoid looking inward and instead project…
/r/askFDS08/10/21 01:11 AM
42

How do I plan on keeping a man like this, he wonders? As far away from me as possible. Edit: Ah yes, the lurkers are alive and well. Apparently this comment was reported for self-harm 🤣 Thanks for the laugh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 05:04 PM
36

I don’t think we want more info, I can’t be any more upset by the audacity. You bet he’ll think they’re flirting too 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 05:16 AM
83

Exactly. I follow FIRE to a degree, and there are posts of people getting $1-3M from surprise inheritances; often the top responses are the same: “Invest wisely but you can essentially retire.” Obviously that’s all dependent on lifestyle and how much or little you plan to live off of, but $7.5M in an insane amount of money, and this guy could easily invest that in the stock market and set his entire family up for generational wealth. He’s just too short-sighted to see that. Imagine thinking some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 04:53 PM
41

Yeah, Cassie’s story proves that if a man wants you as his wife, he will make that known. Cassie was with Diddy on and off for 11 years. When they finally broke up for good, she met her current husband in late 2018, and he proposed and they got married within a year. In the two years since, they’ve also had two daughters. Sure, there’s a lot the public doesn’t know about their relationship, but on and off with someone 17 years older over the course of 11 years, and nothing to show for? I’m glad …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 04:40 PM
2

Two years is a while to react like that; however, if there are no other signs that indicate he’s still hung up on her and/or isn’t 100% focused and dedicated to you, then I personally wouldn’t break up over something like this. It does warrant an honest conversation about his headspace, why he reacted that way, and if he recognizes how his actions affected you. I live in the same city as a number of my exes (from serious relationships), and while I do not have any lingering feelings for any of t…
/r/askFDS25/09/21 04:12 PM
2

Acknowledging your weaknesses is a huge step, and I applaud you for recognizing those things about yourself. This seems even more like a no-brainer to me. Until you reach a point where you are confident in stating your boundaries, even if they don’t match those of others around you, it’s best not to put yourself in situations like this, ESPECIALLY with recent trauma from your sexual assault. I’m horribly sorry to hear of your assault and am glad you are seeking support for both that and your fam…
/r/askFDS23/09/21 08:09 PM
1

If you feel as though you are not in a place to refrain from doing anything irresponsible, especially at a bar, then don’t go. While I agree that you should be able to restrain yourself, the healing process can take time, especially since you also struggle with deep underlying issues (i.e., childhood trauma due to the dynamic with your dad). You canceled your meeting with him and blocked him, so you’re doing the appropriate steps to begin moving forward from this. It’s a start! You don’t need to…
/r/askFDS23/09/21 05:29 PM
2

That’s great! I’m glad you’re taking that first step. Therapy helped me unpack a lot I kept hidden deep. Hoping the best for your therapy journey, and continue focusing only on yourself for now. Dating - and the right HV man - will come in time. You’re not in the right headspace and need to distance yourself from men who can and will easily take advantage of you.
/r/askFDS22/09/21 01:45 AM
2

It sounds like you have a lot of trauma to unpack, and you’re putting yourself in a painfully vulnerable place if you continue to form unhealthy attachments and romanticize men who exhibit characteristics you YOURSELF want. If you feel as though you are missing mentorship in your life, seek a woman from whom you can learn from. It’s clear that, at this time, you still need to disassociate from men within your field if you are unable to separate your romantic inclinations. You are acting desperat…
/r/askFDS21/09/21 06:31 PM
95

Yeah, I know a number of guys who openly mourn the end of a relationship, generally something along the lines of “I fucked up, she was the one, I have to win her back” etc. Whereas women tend to mourn the end of the chapter, but I’ve never had a female friend say she messed up; it is almost ALWAYS frustration that she didn’t end it earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:07 PM
19

The fucking audacity of this ENTIRE family. This poor woman. Even with a divorce, she’s still connected to them via her children. 🚨This is why they say you also marry the family. Examples like this continue to solidify why I will never combine finances with my SO. I also never share specifics about my salary or what I have saved across my accounts. It’s my business, and my business only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:16 AM
129

I do this at the start of dating someone new. I tend to get pretty terrible cramps the day or two before my period arrives, so inevitably that’ll come up. Thankfully, as I’ve gotten older, men I’ve dated have been helpful in asking if I need anything or how they can help, but I remember my first college boyfriend literally cringed when I told him I was on my period and asked if I not “bring that up again”. 🤡 I’d go one step further with this and see if they still make plans with you despite know…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:24 AM
16

Guess we’ll find out in a few months when she gives birth 🤣 This timeline of events is a MESS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:41 PM
57

Because it’s “emasculating” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 09:35 PM
23

To me, this does just seem like a relationship incompatibility as I wouldn’t say this man is outright NV/LV just because he’s unable or unwilling to give your friend rides whenever she needs transportation. Your friend didn’t mention if she or her boyfriend have jobs, but I can imagine that either way, the fact that they don’t live together and that she’s 25 minutes away makes this all the more tricky. I personally wouldn’t break up with someone for this reason (if I didn’t drive), but no one ca…
/r/askFDS04/09/21 02:11 AM
48

I was also one of them years ago. I look back and regret it fully. Ladies, don’t fall into this trap. A man that age interested in long term commitment would not be seeking women in their early 20s because the chances of HER wanting or expecting it are lower than with women his own age. Also, younger women are more vulnerable because they’re less experienced with dating, haven’t seen or experienced as many red flags, and are more likely to tolerate NVM/LVM behavior as a result. Men know this. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 03:46 PM
55

That last part speaks to me. I still follow and listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, but it’s horrifying and disgusting to hear how so many murderers are glorified by groupies too. How can someone even look at a man who killed his entire family and even think of finding this man attractive and sending him love letters? It’s disturbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 02:40 PM
3

Stating your boundaries is not being dramatic. If you felt as though your reaction was too emotionally-charged, take a deep breath. You only put yourself in a more vulnerable position if you react emotionally instead of logically. Logically, he crossed your boundary by keeping memories from/with an ex; you are well within your right to call that out, especially if he said he would then backed out. That said, please recognize how problematic your first sentence was. An ex is an ex. I’d think crit…
/r/askFDS01/09/21 04:25 PM
1

Thank you - that means a lot. Came out of it stronger and more self-assured about my capabilities. I’m grateful I also found who can be there, and who cannot, when I need them the most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 09:51 PM
6

OP stated in a previous post that the man comes from a very wealthy family. I’m going to throw it out there that he likely knows he’ll always have a support net and that it’s why he doesn’t save or plan, thinks working is simply “slogging” for money, and has the ability to start a freelance career in his mid 30s with no gumption or drive to actually make it succeed. The things he says indicates that he’s likely someone who has never had to work for their money AND who wasn’t raised in a househol…
/r/askFDS31/08/21 05:47 PM
32

This. I remembered commenting on a similar post and seeing the overwhelming response to leave this man. Then I realized it was the same user. OP, please read through the many comments you’ve already received on your posts - you’ve shared SO many red flag behaviors already, and it’s only 4 months in. 35, with little to no concept of saving money? Constantly talking about his past relationship? Bad sex? Girl, come on. Is this really what you think you deserve? Read the handbook. Please. Edit: Do n…
/r/askFDS31/08/21 02:00 PM
16

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It’s terrible it even had to come to that point to realize who your real friends are. Sending you hugs ❤️ I went through a traumatic ordeal last summer; a lot of people I considered “friends” barely reached out to show support or check in. I was open about what happened and the impact it has had on me. You realize pretty quickly who’s truly there for you, and who’s not. It’s a horrible, isolating feeling. I’m sorry you experienced it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:50 PM
135

Exactly. Tell a guy you’re on your period and suddenly they don’t want to ~HaNg OuT~
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:40 PM
66

Exactly. Aka “wipe my ass for me” because he’s “mature”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 06:03 AM
12

I also can’t speak for them, but I know a few HV couples who have only recently gotten engaged or married after 5+ years of dating. In most of those scenarios, they met when they were younger (high school or early college). It’s possible neither were ready for that next step if they were still in their early 20s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:44 AM
27

The part about your dad learning about your disorder and coming to talk to you about it made me cry. I love my dad, but I’d have loved if he made more of an effort to understand the things in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:34 AM
17

Jeez, what a mess. I’ve dated men like that before; thankfully they were years ago. They felt personally victimized when I’d tell them the place was nicer and to dress up. Sorry not sorry your dusty ass Vans and frocket tee won’t cut it here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:31 AM
1

I’m personally a huge fan of Viktor&Rolf Flowerbomb; it’s got a fantastic throw, and the scent is beautiful. I also love Clean Reserve’s Skin perfume since it’s a comforting scent that is pretty inoffensive and doesn’t skew too feminine (which I personally don’t always love). I recently got a sample of Maison Francis Kurkdjian’s Baccarat Rouge 540 and love it, though the price tag is ✨hefty✨
/r/askFDS27/08/21 04:59 AM
115

She’s exactly right. In the last 5 years I’ve been the instigator to end all my relationships. However, even for the ones before then…every single one came begging for another chance, to ask me for more closure, “I know what I did wrong”, etc. I have never given any of them a second chance, and I always regretted giving them too much. Too much time, too much effort, too much attention. No more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:59 PM
37

I died when he just wrote “Tulum?????” 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:07 AM
163

Don’t fall in love with potential.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 06:11 AM
18

I haven’t met too many. I work for a large company and would say most HVM I know are from there. All are married, but they are fantastic colleagues, elevate the voices of their female teammates, and never demean others at the company. Their wives (the ones I’ve met at least) are equally wonderful. A number of family members are also HVMs. Outside of that, I’ve dated a few that showed HVM traits (but too early to determine actual HV status), but we were misaligned on non-negotiables or the timing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 06:02 AM
11

Are you able to chat with him privately? If so, I’d just message him separately to say that you’d be uncomfortable meeting him 1 on 1. I’d avoid saying it’s because you don’t know him well as it may lead him to try and get closer if he thinks becoming your friend will mean you’re more likely to meet with him.
/r/askFDS17/08/21 05:54 AM
48

Exactly. Women 🤝 gay men. We both recognize the majority of hatred we face for just existing comes from straight men. I’ve had my back covered by more gay men than women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:33 PM
56

Never doubt cutting people off for leaving you in a vulnerable position. You are completely justified in no longer associating with these women. A similar situation happened to me years ago. Thankfully I don’t black out (I tend to vomit before reaching that point), but I was definitely not OK. I thank my lucky stars two women who worked the bar noticed, stayed behind, and helped me unlock my phone so they could call my boyfriend at the time. I couldn’t fully cut off the women I was with at the t…
/r/askFDS13/08/21 06:36 PM
27

I’m 100% onboard with a breakfast/brunch first date. Agreed with others saying that location and preparation are key though. I live in a city with a lively brunch scene, and I don’t want to spend the first 30-90 min of our date waiting for a table because he didn’t prepare enough in advance and book a reservation. I’m not an early riser but do follow a healthy and active lifestyle. It’d be important to me that I vet how he presents himself before and during the date - does he seem hungover? Is h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 06:19 AM
5

Do not take or send nudes ever. Not for anyone. Not even your husband. Phones get hacked all the time. Data gets stolen. It’s not worth it, and a man who respects you would understand 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 03:24 AM
21

While I’m all for people paving their own journey and making career switches later in life, this seems a little different, and doesn’t seem that intentional on his part. First off, you mention that he’s making a career change but has been spending a lot of time on self development. Why not on his career? And he thinks you have to “slog” to earn money? I mean, yes, you will need to work to actually earn money, if that’s what he means by slog… He’s 35, so he’s far too old to be in the mindset that…
/r/askFDS11/08/21 09:35 PM
53

This is sickening. All of them. Where do I even begin? The first dad, who has to explain why he doesn’t have inappropriate thoughts toward his daughter? ARE YOU SERIOUS? News flash, if you have to explain it, you’re lying to yourself AND everyone else. Wow, give yourself a pat on the back for being dad of the year for not being inappropriate with your “very attractive” daughter because that would “be in direct conflict” of YOUR hopes for her future. Fucking disgusting. Not the second dad who cal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 08:15 PM
29

We HATE to see it 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 05:37 AM
29

Exactly. It’s a sad but honest reality. I noted that she mentioned foster parents in her post; I can’t help but think that played a role in her withstanding the relationship for so long. I know a number of adults today who - even if they were legally adopted into stable, loving homes as babies - suffer deeply from the circumstances of going into the system at all. I hope more than anything this woman is able to get out of this relationship and find people who truly love and support her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 03:56 PM
11

So glad you did! In the future, there is next to nothing that should stop you from speaking up if you’re uncomfortable. Obviously please put your safety first, so if it happens when you’re alone and you don’t feel safe, prioritize getting out of the situation over everything else. But if you’re otherwise in a public setting and can leave immediately after calling him out, definitely do. Especially in an instance like this! You were PAYING him. You have even more power in this situation to call h…
/r/askFDS31/07/21 12:54 AM
65

This. This is not a “friend”. He was hoping to get close to you and was playing the part to do so. Luckily he showed his cards (they always do!). There is nothing you need to apologize for. Cut this man off, for your sake. Not only is he creepy, he’s specifically made remarks about abuse and sexualizing you.
/r/askFDS30/07/21 08:44 PM
5

Ah yes, I’ve heard this so many times myself, either in response to my travels or about my career. My favorite line to use when they say that is “Am I intimidating or are you intimidated?” OP, you are a rockstar and should be so proud of yourself! You are goals. Keep it up ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 08:37 PM
7

Oh, totally. But it’s insane to me that what they take from the rejection is that “she denied me because I’m short, fuck her” and not have the wherewithal to recognize that the reason why they’re THAT upset about it comes from within. Their lack of confidence is poorly masked by aggressive arrogance. True Napoleon energy 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 08:36 PM
3

Agreed. I liked it in high school when I didn’t know any better but have since gotten my medical show fix from other shows instead. I’m fine with unrealistic dramas but I found myself liking fewer and fewer characters on Grey’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 06:59 PM
48

In addition to what everyone already said (who is seriously OK with dating someone with syphilis? We can’t even want a potential partner to not have an STD?!)…what is with the call outs about height as though that’s just FDS? Frankly the majority of women in my life (who I consider to be HV) don’t give a damn about a man’s height. Either way, who gives a shit? It’s a preference. I have never argued if someone told me they preferred blondes 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:05 PM
2

I haven’t and I wouldn’t. Call it an expensive learning moment, hold your head high, and cut him off for good. Don’t invite any opportunity for him to talk to you further after the breakup. Don’t buy expensive gifts for men that are not your SO and not until he has shown himself to be HV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 04:50 PM
12

Yikes. Literally shivered reading this. I dated a guy for around 2 months before he straight up FELL off the deep end and out of the blue said he needed space. This was pre-FDS, so I didn’t cut it off immediately like I should have; I just said “you do you” and ceased all comms for 3 days. He then reached out to me to say he wasn’t in a good place because his mom has cancer. We didn’t resume dating at any point but I did check in once a month only to ask about his mom; each time, he tried to ask…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:34 PM
5

These are fantastic recommendations - thank you so much! I’m notorious for following strategy #1 because I have no interest in spending energy in an argument; I just say “that was hurtful/offensive/inappropriate” and walk away. How do you recommend responding when you are pursued? In my scenarios, I never felt unsafe. My exes would just say “oh, there you go, you’re running away again” or “you’re shutting down.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 04:23 PM
97

He’S tRyInG, cAn’T yOu GiVe HiM a ChAnCe?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:52 PM
66

I have a male friend around the same age who was going home every 1-2 weekends to stay with his parents so he could get food, have his clothes washed, and generally be coddled by his mom (he’s the youngest, and the only son in the family). Few months ago, he started dating someone, which caused significant tension with his parents (mom especially), who felt like this woman was stealing their son away because now he was spending less time at home with his parents. He kept complaining that he was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 02:23 PM
16

I met a random guy in college who admitted to this. Proudly proclaimed “what can I say, I’m a toxic king.” I called him a dick and luckily never saw him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 05:48 AM
91

Good for her! It’s always the same story - when a guy says this, it’s not that he’s not ready for a relationship. It’s that he’s not ready for one with you. How come none of them actually expect or want the woman to do what this one did, though? They still want the emotional support and physical intimacy without having to actually step up and commit to her 🤡 The buffoonery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 02:09 PM
22

This! If it’s this early and you already don’t like things about him, cut your losses and leave. A man trying to win your time and affection will make it very known that he’s interested instead of making you feel like an afterthought. You deserve better.
/r/askFDS19/07/21 05:03 PM
9

You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed for, and you handled yourself appropriately. Continue to maintain distance unless absolutely required to for work. If he messages you on your personal line, do not respond unless it pertains to work. If it is work-related, respond ONLY during working hours and from your work email. Even then, keep interactions short. A similar situation happened to me recently with a colleague in a relationship. He interpreted my kindness at work (about work projects…
/r/askFDS17/07/21 03:04 AM
106

My mom is Asian and is literally the most savage woman I know. My dad is a good foot taller than her and cowers when she’s angry. I have never in my life considered her or any other Asian woman I know submissive or meek. Asian men AND women are raised from a young age to put education and career well ahead of romance/love. Yes, while it’s commonly known that the pressure to succeed is often crippling in Asian societies (that’s a whole other topic), I will never understand this narrative about As…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 07:07 PM
17

You don’t. I moved quickly, all things considered, and it was still 1.5 months from finding a realtor to officially closing. It was only that fast because I was lucky and found my dream home in one week and had my first and only offer accepted. That included MANY hours of house hunting, calls with my realtor and lender, working through my offer, etc. Not to mention being approved for a mortgage, insurance, down payment, and all that. This guy is a tool and is 100% trying to downplay his girlfrie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 10:25 PM
3

I tend to focus more on whether we are in the same point in our lives with our careers, savings/assets, maturity, etc. Also, hobbies/lifestyle preferences are important to align on. For me personally, that eliminates most men younger than me (I’ve made 6 figures since my mid 20s). I’d say my range, now that I’m in my late 20s, is 2 years younger and ~6 years older. I, of course, have gone beyond both ends of the spectrum, but it was not by more than 1-2 “stretch” years.
/r/askFDS28/06/21 09:52 PM
17

I totally sympathize with your embarrassment, and I understand why you lied to your friends for this instance. If I can give a gentle reminder though: it’s a month in and you’re already lying for this man. That’s such a slippery slope. You deserve better at this point than someone who doesn’t have the courtesy to be upfront for why he didn’t prioritize this time with your friends (because, let’s be honest, he clarified with you the date multiple times, so he made plans/excuses to spend as little…
/r/askFDS28/06/21 09:45 PM
2

This! I’d even go far enough to say any family I’ve ever eaten with - affluent or not - has always paid for me. I’ve always offered my share, but I’ve been waved off every time (even now that I have a successful career). My parents do the same for anyone I have join us for a meal, even if it’s a dozen people. This entire family is garbage for noticing her behavior and not doing anything. They could have easily footed the bill and privately coordinated with their sons to get payment from those wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:16 PM
26

This! This is when it starts becoming obvious when men haven’t taken care of themselves. Weight gain, wrinkles/sagging skin, inability to clean/cook, the works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 11:45 PM
99

My dear friend has a husband similar to this. She has a number of autoimmune disorders and has essentially been bedridden for nearly 2 years. In addition to now being the only one working (my friend had to stop running her online business because it became too much to maintain), he is a loving husband and doting father, and he does everything for his family. In addition to my friend’s illnesses, they have also gone through so many additional (unrelated) difficulties, and he emotionally and menta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 10:15 PM
8

You’re correct. First of all, you shouldn’t need to “replace” a crush. That signals to me you care more about feeling a certain way with whomever and not actually vetting that the man is worthy of your time and affection. You should be OK with however long it takes between relationships to not have romantic feelings toward men, and to use that time instead to better yourself FOR yourself. Otherwise, you are constantly chasing that feeling and are putting yourself out there to be hurt and left vu…
/r/askFDS10/06/21 07:01 PM
24

I didn’t interpret this as what u/Twohagsover30 was trying to say, if your comment was directed specifically at that and not just said in general. I don’t disagree that some people don’t enjoy dating multiple people at once. I’m one of those people (and I’m American, since that designation was added). However, I think she was trying to say that the man OP went on dates with shouldn’t expect OP to be willing to commit to a relationship that early on. If the feelings were mutual, then that’s great…
/r/askFDS02/06/21 02:44 PM
29

Exactly. There is something truly sickening about him even getting off on doing this to his girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:21 PM
23

This x1000. I’m so tired of this notion that women with “high standards” (putting that in quotations because I think it’s insane that a woman stating her preference to not meet over coffee and to get an actual meal instead is considered worthy of argument) are gold diggers. If you can’t meet the woman’s standards, shut up and move on. If a man is truly interested in a certain woman (not just any woman), he wouldn’t think twice about impressing her with date that matches the level of interest he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 04:06 PM
59

There is no logic happening on his end whatsoever, that’s the thing. The best thing is to cut this man from your life permanently. He wanted to be free to date/sleep with whomever while keeping you in rotation. A man like this isn’t worth a second of your time.
/r/askFDS27/05/21 01:09 AM
4

Yeah. My first college boyfriend called me horrible names whenever we’d go out (together, no less) and I’d run into a male friend and chat with any of them briefly. He was horribly jealous and would even leave me wherever we were if he found it to be “too much”. Once, when he attempted to drive us home drunk and I refused to get in the car and urged him to take a taxi or public transport back with me, he cursed at me and drove away, leaving me on a dark street by myself. Scared and alone at 2 AM…
/r/askFDS01/04/21 04:45 PM
6

Listen. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but there are dozens of comments in this thread. Dozens of women supporting you and giving you the advice you asked for. Some tough love for you: stop being frustrated and start thinking logically. Stop thinking that communicating further with this man will change anything. You literally just said he’s not giving you what you want. Stop waiting around for a man who clearly shows you that he has no serious interest in taking the next step with you. Take all th…
/r/askFDS23/02/21 05:56 PM
5

With all love...please read what you just wrote here. He SAYS it’s temporary, yet he provides literally no definitive timeline for when you two will reunite in person. You’re already 4.5 years into a relationship and he up and left without a concrete plan to either have you both go together OR return after a defined amount of time. My longest relationship (over 3 years) happened around the same years your current one is happening (early to mid 20s). I can tell you I sacrificed so much of my happ…
/r/askFDS23/02/21 03:31 PM
44

Exactly. OP, this is a major power play. He is giving you just enough to continue keeping you on the hook without saying anything worth of substance. This is a situation where you need to take his words as a big fat “no”. If he thinks you asking where his head’s at is you pressuring him into marriage and that you’re giving him an ultimatum, that is a MASSIVE red flag. He is actively deflecting and has shown no indication of even willing to have an adult conversation with you. Take your power bac…
/r/askFDS22/02/21 09:30 PM
45

Leave this relationship. You deserve so much more than this. If, after 4.5 YEARS, he still needs to assess if he’s sure he wants to marry you, he doesn’t. He just doesn’t want to be the “bad guy” but is doing so anyway by stringing you along.
/r/askFDS22/02/21 07:06 PM
73

Dump him. This time, for good. You’re already on and off, so there’s clearly existing issues. He is unable to accept a part of you that you cannot change. Moreover, it seems like a part of you that you DON’T wish to suppress. You are well within your right to reminisce on your childhood without having to pander to him and his inability to accept his girlfriend’s background after 6 YEARS. It’s outrageous that he’s even attempting to guilt you into repressing those memories as though his secondhan…
/r/askFDS11/02/21 06:47 AM
13

Oh god, it’s like we’ve all dated the same men. I don’t give a DAMN how tall a guy is. Many of my friends are the same way. The issue with height goes hand in hand with their confidence; so many of them, in my experience, overcompensate for being shorter by being absolute assholes, thinking that’s the way to get our attention 🙄 I’ve dated enough men in the 5’6-5’8 range to appreciate those who don’t allow their height to bruise their egos and instead carry themselves with silent confidence. That…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 12:57 AM
95

Damn, not like I didn’t already know this, but seeing it laid out like this...I think I might have to put my phone away for a while. This is why so many people (namely women, though I do not wish to discount men who have also been victims of rape) refuse to come forward. It’s why men are the only ones who ever question that fact, as women know full well the weight that coming forward can carry on their own lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:14 PM
356

This made me die laughing because I have seen/heard this happen SO often. For context, my mom is from SE Asia. Her and my dad are the same age, and they met abroad while they both worked in their respective fields (Mom in healthcare, Dad in construction). I don’t, for one second, believe my dad had anything but love on his mind when he married my mom; however, if he even so much as thought she’d be submissive and demure - as the stereotypes go - he quickly found out that wasn’t the case. My mom …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 11:04 PM
80

This is so, so important. Agreed with others saying to add this to the handbook. I’d take this one step further and just advise all women to never be financially dependent on a man. Please. I also know many women left on their ass because they “didn’t think he’d do that to me”. Never let yourself get stuck in a situation where you cannot easily get out if you want/need to. It’s how so many abusers trap their victims, and it makes it all the more difficult for them to get back on their feet if th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 09:01 PM
27

Your gut is giving you the answer here, OP. If you’re questioning it, don’t. Believe me, getting entangled in a housing situation is hard enough already if you break up. Throw in shared home ownership? Yikes. You have the safety and stability of the home being yours. Do not leave until you’re ready. If he’s not understanding of that, clearly there is a larger issue at play. I would personally never buy a house with a man unless we were married. I just went through the home buying process myself,…
/r/askFDS03/02/21 08:07 PM
4

Not at all - the tech giants are always hiring, and new tech companies are popping up all the time. I’d figure out what type of tech industry interests you - social media, transportation, travel, fashion, etc. - and then look for companies that are hiring in those fields. Or you could find a role type that interests you and use that as your starting point!
/r/askFDS03/02/21 07:56 PM
4

I highly recommend tech. I’ve been in tech (non-engineering) since graduating college, and I cannot tell you how fortunate I feel to have been able to build a career in this industry. The pay is fantastic, and the benefits are incredible. Although I don’t have children, I like knowing that one day I’ll be able to and get 4+ months maternity leave and other childcare benefits.
/r/askFDS03/02/21 06:35 PM
21

Drop him. It’s way too early in the dating process for someone to have forgotten a date with you, virtual or not. And not even an apology? Don’t waste your time.
/r/askFDS02/02/21 12:38 AM
25

“You’re really difficult to read” = It will be my personal mission to get you to let your guard down on MY timeline, and whine and complain if you don’t give me what I want by then...even though I’ve done next to nothing to earn your trust.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 07:58 PM
1

Knowing full well that I don’t know you personally and therefore am only able to provide advice based on your post, I’d personally consider which career gets me closest to what I’d like to do in the future. Also, I’m not sure where you’re located, but if you’re aware that you’ll need to undergo major surgery, I’d want to ensure that my employer offers strong medical/dental insurance (not sure which one your surgery would fall under, tbh). At 23, you don’t need to have it all figured out. I didn’…
/r/askFDS31/01/21 09:24 PM
10

Have you flagged your concerns with him, or have you not yet had a discussion? I read no comments about any financial contribution to the household rent/mortgage wise, so I’d kick him out if he’s providing you minimal value. He’s infringing on your space and bringing down your energy. That being said, you did mention wanting to attempt reconciliation, so if you haven’t had a conversation with him, that could be an option.
/r/askFDS30/01/21 07:47 PM
444

This is QUEEN shit. On another note, I want to give a round of applause to your landlord. Kudos to him for quickly recognizing the gravity of the situation and acting appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 12:57 AM
80

Oh my god, not the gut bacteria 💀🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 07:44 AM
7

Lmao, I was thinking the same. The cackles I had this morning waking up and seeing y’all continue the thread made me weak in the knees 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 06:58 PM
222

dOnT gIvE uP, pEoPlE cAn ChAnGe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 12:48 AM
11

This is an excellent tip. In terms of general Internet safety as well, ESPECIALLY if you have a public account, never post about where you are at that exact moment. Take photos if you want, then post later when you’re safely in another location. My friend shared an IG story of her at brunch, and her ex used it to meet her outside the restaurant and return something to her after their breakup. She’s incredibly fortunate that the interaction was amicable and short-lived; it could have easily not b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:23 AM
15

Absolutely. Fake name all the way. Any man with half a brain would understand once you got comfortable enough to eventually share your real name. You’d have to live under a rock to not realize how terrifying and dangerous dating can be for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:16 AM
36

OP, please follow this advice ❤️ Also, just know that we support you and that you have the strength to stand up on your own two feet and walk away from this forever. One day at a time, OK? Just focus on the immediate future - getting yourself an appointment for the abortion, sooner rather than later. You deserve so much better than how he treated you. That is not ANY indication of your worth but of his weakness. We believe in you. Best of luck - there is so much more that awaits you beyond this.
/r/askFDS25/01/21 04:33 PM
3

I feel you! I haven’t closed yet; we’re hoping to have it done by mid-February. Currently in the underwriting part of the process and concurrently have been working with and reviewing quotes for home security and condo insurance. I’ve also been getting set up with the HOA to get the official transition signed off on their side. It’s A LOT. The inspection hasn’t taken place yet but will soon. I’m anxious but know it’ll be worth it in the long run. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat or ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:24 AM
18

Sadly where I am (bigger city in the US), $150K isn’t realistic for real estate either, not to mention all the extra costs that creep up. For example, the listing prices of some condos may seem reasonable where I’m from...until you see $250-500 (!!!) monthly HOA fees. There’s also condo/homeowners insurance, property taxes, PMI (if providing less than 20% down), etc. It’s terrible. I just went through the home buying process for the first time 2 weeks ago myself, and I have a good job with an ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 09:22 PM
31

My exact thought too. Tell the man to let her go, and also talk to the “dear friend”. Step up and be a friend here instead of “watching helplessly”. What a load of passive horseshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 04:44 PM
14

I saw your post history as well - please, leave him. You’ve been together for 6-7 months, fought most of it, saw him make a dating profile, have concerns he exchanged info with a girl from there, found out he blocked you on social media...not to mention all the stuff you said here? My goodness, here is some tough love: you cannot change a man, let alone someone in his 30s. You have to find a man who is established and provides value to you, someone who will never make you question what you mean …
/r/askFDS06/01/21 03:12 PM
110

Exactly. They’ll never fullyyyyy close the door. They’ll leave it open and ambiguous enough to say “but we can still hang out” and hope you’ll give them what they really want, without the commitment of dating. Now they feel like they’re off the hook because they were “honest” and “up front”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:12 PM
10

Yes, absolutely. My longest relationship to date (3 years) was one I ended because we were similar in so many ways but fundamentally disagreed on how to spend and invest our finances. He was never abusive. He was loyal, kind, close to his family, loving, well traveled, well educated, took care of his mental and physical health, etc. But even in my youth (I think I was 23-24 when I broke it off), I knew that if we argued about money that much, it would only get worse when we started to consider b…
/r/askFDS31/12/20 03:59 AM
32

Exactly this. OP, I’ve spoken to a number of male friends and colleagues over the years who all admit “not being ready for a serious relationship” is a total sham and simply an excuse to not commit. Those in relationships said they didn’t and would never use that line on the women they’re dating/engaged to/married to right now. Some even went so far as to say they’ve used the line themselves on women they were seeing casually before meeting their current SO. If a HV man is interested in a woman,…
/r/askFDS29/12/20 04:06 PM
9

It sounds to me like nothing has changed about either one of your situations other than him getting sick with COVID and him wanting to get back together while he was alone in the hospital. First off, I sincerely hope he recovers. That’s scary to think he was likely young and had such a severe reaction to COVID. However, with regards to your post, don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. You admitted that you aren’t sure if you’d try again if he wasn’t sick. If you aren’t sure, it’s a no. Als…
/r/askFDS28/12/20 10:59 PM
11

This is horrifying, and I’m so sorry to hear this. If you’re open to it, do you mind sharing what he did after those 3 years? Was it gradual or pretty sudden?
/r/askFDS23/12/20 03:09 PM
5

You absolutely do not need to disclose this information to anyone. The number of people you have been intimate with is NOT a reflection on you as a person and does not negate your ability to be someone’s girlfriend, wife, mother, etc. So long as you are practicing safe sex and are getting screened for STDs before and after each new sexual partner, that’s all that should matter. FWIW, the guy you’re dating sounds like a manipulative tool. Any guy that attempts to ridicule or diminish a woman’s va…
/r/askFDS21/12/20 08:39 PM
15

I agree. To me, it just sounds like he’s busy at work or recuperating from his labor intensive job. If you are with him and can see that he’s not glued to his phone, perhaps he’s someone who isn’t as attached to it and is intentional about his screen time and being present with what he’s doing, especially since you mentioned he shared using some of that time to be with his family. If things are otherwise going well and he seems invested in you and the time you’re spending together, I’d communica…
/r/askFDS19/12/20 06:00 PM
16

Seeing eye to eye on financial matters is important for the health of your relationship long term. However, it seems like some of the concerns revolve around assumptions about what he makes or how he invests his money, which won’t get you very far unless you broach the topic and find out for certain. I don’t see anything wrong in asking how he invests his money and sharing that it’s something you’re passionate in and wish to speak with him about. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with ending the …
/r/askFDS17/12/20 11:32 PM
64

I’m immensely concerned that he was 31 years old while you were 22 AND that he knows anything about high school girls using the pull out method. You dodged a major bullet. A HV man would never pressure you to do anything you didn’t want to do, especially sexually. He was withholding “love” from you under the guise that he would reciprocate your affection ONLY if you compromised your beliefs. I can’t tell you not to be upset, because your feelings are your own to have, and that’s OK. But I hope y…
/r/askFDS15/12/20 04:22 AM
22

I’ve had men (both friends and romantic partners) tell me about this “3 day rule”, and every single one has broken it when it came to a woman they were truly interested in pursuing. More often than not, especially with more and more connections happening on OLD, if a man was wanting to see you again and pursue you further, he would continue to do whatever it took to keep him at the top of your list of options. As much as I hate to say it, it seems like this guy wasn’t interested in a second date…
/r/askFDS05/12/20 03:52 AM
38

Unfortunately, I’ve been there. Around the same age for me too. It seems like he’s emotionally closing himself off but doesn’t even have the courage to say what’s troubling him. Whether it has to do with you or not, you deserve a man who can clearly communicate with you and doesn’t shut down and avoid you when he’s upset. He’s being conflict avoidant and doesn’t want to seem like the “bad guy”. Rip the bandaid off. You deserve better. A man who can’t bear losing you would never act like you’re n…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 07:57 PM
19

“Has a habit” is a red flag, especially this early on. If a person doesn’t follow through with their word, they have nothing. If he’s willing to do this at 4 weeks, it will only get worse as time goes on. A man interested in a woman and willing to do anything to win her over would MAKE the time, even if it’s for a few minutes before bed. That’s what you deserve. Ghost him, or if you decide you do want to let him know, give a short, vague explanation that this isn’t working out. He doesn’t deserv…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 02:32 PM
11

Thankfully I’m not a heavy emoji user, especially with men. The only emojis I really use are 🥴 and 😂. I also like sending men the 🤡 emoji to let them know when they’re acting stupid (male friends, not men I’m interested in). It’s not my responsibility if a man overanalyzes my texts and thinks I’m not interested just because I don’t use emojis or respond with kiss or heart emojis when he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:22 PM
2

Thank you ❤️
/r/askFDS20/11/20 07:28 PM
3

Thank you - after the last few days, this is definitely the appropriate course of action here. I’ll give him space to focus on himself and his family right now. I appreciate your input ❤️
/r/askFDS20/11/20 07:21 PM
5

You’re right. I’ve been focused on myself these last few days since our conversation, and I will continue to do so. I appreciate you calling out how he reaches out in the future too. Thank you ❤️
/r/askFDS20/11/20 07:19 PM
6

You are absolutely right. I cannot imagine his pain right now, and his focus should rightfully be on supporting himself and his family. The point of regressing back to a friendship this early is also valid, and one I was perhaps initially too quick to overlook. Thank you for responding ❤️
/r/askFDS20/11/20 07:16 PM
31

This. A quick glance is OK. I believe it’s possible to see someone and quickly assess to yourself, “oh, that’s a good looking person” and then go about your day. But to keep looking? And to move his chair to get a better view? AND those follow-up responses? OP, that is unacceptable and absolutely untrue. Men do not all do that, and this man is disrespectful to you AND that other woman. You deserve better.
/r/askFDS17/11/20 04:57 AM
10

You’re very welcome. My messages are always open if you need to talk or vent ❤️ You’re not alone, and you never have to be.
/r/askFDS14/11/20 08:20 PM
41

First off, I’m so sorry to hear about your breakup. Regardless of the circumstances, it’s never easy, especially after a relationship that long. Allow yourself to mourn the end of this chapter and to feel the emotions you need to feel to help you process it. It’s alright to be sad. Take the time for yourself to be forgiving and kind right now. I went through a similar breakup a few years ago with my long-term boyfriend. Him and I constantly argued about money, and trust me when I say those issue…
/r/askFDS14/11/20 07:17 PM
2

Thank you, Queen. You’re exactly right 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 01:07 PM
6

I needed to read this advice, too. Thank you. Followed FDS to a tee but in the last two days been struggling to communicate with a guy I’m seeing. It’s not worth the stress. I deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:58 AM
37

Me too! I don’t recall exactly when, but Future posted a bikini pic of his then GF/fling and wrote “proud of you” as the caption...that same day, Russell Wilson posted a photo of him cheering at Ciara’s and Future’s son’s game, with a caption saying how proud he was. Just two completely different men. Ciara leveled up with Russell, and they seem like a wonderful couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 06:37 PM
2

And that’s totally fine for you to hold that opinion. This thread isn’t about my friend and was purely a lightweight example I provided of “if he wanted to see you, he would.” She wasn’t looking for advice on her dating life, OP was.
/r/askFDS23/10/20 09:28 PM
2

She’s still early into vetting him for herself. I revised my statement as his schedule isn’t hectic purely because of work but because of caring and being present for his daughter and switching off with his ex. Balancing work and being a single parent, yet still finding time to meet with someone you’re dating, does not mean a red flag. It is far too early for her to meet his daughter, they both agree, so the fact that he is still making time for her and clearly communicating his schedule to find…
/r/askFDS23/10/20 07:48 PM
5

Yeah, ghost this guy. Even if he was ridiculously busy, he could still make an effort to address it and say he’d find a time as soon as he was able, or he’d MAKE the time. My friend recently started dating a single dad who has an insane schedule. She works a regular 9-5, whereas he works completely different hours and only has one day off (and it’s during the traditional work week, when she’s working). He wanted to make time to see her so badly that even though he was hoping for dinner (their fi…
/r/askFDS23/10/20 01:32 PM
3

You’re going through your first heartbreak, so be forgiving to yourself. It’s not going to go smoothly, and you will hurt. But blocking him and shutting down all future potential with you will make it easier to eventually move on with your life. Do not let this man in at any point. He is coming back to see if the option with you is still open while seeing what else is out there. He’s afraid to be alone and thinks you’ll take him back each time. Prove him wrong. Find a hobby to occupy your time. …
/r/askFDS22/10/20 04:23 AM
48

Because that’s when they’re all in their feels, wondering why they’re single, when we just sit unbothered with our masks and robes enjoying life 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 03:46 PM
59

First off, don’t minimize your concerns about this. It’s possible there isn’t something to be worried about, but you won’t know unless you bring it up. Do not just let it slide as you ARE together officially and therefore should not be on dating apps any longer. I’d ask him point blank if he’s still on Tinder to gauge his response. Only you will know if he’s genuine. If he seems surprised by the question, bring up what your friend saw. Don’t add any further context or even give him any ideas for…
/r/askFDS12/10/20 09:22 PM
33

Right?! I didn’t even include the screenshots of MULTIPLE men straight up sending me their address with no other context, as if I’M their personal Uber Eats! 😂 I rarely get women who comment, but when they do, it’s the same as yours. Always “wow! I’m gonna order, too!” or “can you send me the recipe?” They never assume I’ll just give them my food.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 04:14 PM
43

Context: been supporting a number of small female-owned businesses in my area since the beginning of the pandemic. I order this food FOR MYSELF. These men (it’s always men, never women) slide into my DMs when I post about the businesses and have the audacity to demand I give them MY FOOD 😆 Only reason I respond is because I find joy in shooting them down. I also usually recommend they order their own from the business itself, though obviously they never do 🤡 Those that try this stunt a second ti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 03:59 PM
21

Have you read the handbook in full? It sounds like you know that this man didn’t treat you the way you deserve. I saw someone post here once to not position it like “What’s wrong with me that makes me unworthy of love?” but rather “What’s wrong with him to make him not see that?” Men can “seem” HV all they want, but if he’s not treating you with love and respect, that is NOT what you deserve. Take some time to pick up or refocus on a hobby. Reconnect with old friends (safely, if doing so in pers…
/r/askFDS06/10/20 06:44 PM
26

Holy SHIT. This made my blood boil. The amount of physical, emotional, and mental duress and pain his wife went through to go through a DOUBLE mastectomy, whether it was preventative or not, is something he could never understand. To even attempt to make light of her struggle during such a vulnerable time is absolutely enraging to me. He should be nothing but supportive. Instead, he’s trying to say his wife should have gotten bigger boobs because she could?! How about you think about the fact th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:33 PM
77

This is exactly what I gleaned from this too. He said he’s too broke to do the bare necessity the woman was asking for but still made an active effort to circumvent them from accomplishing her original ask. I guess it’s too hard to ask for a bed to have sex on now 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 02:23 PM
22

I actually just went through this recently. We planned for dinner, then things fell through that evening (mutual misunderstanding), but he still wanted to see me that night and threw out a few other options. I simply said “Let’s reschedule for dinner” and he immediately got the hint, and we had a great time the following evening. A man would never be called rude if he stated his preferences. So why should a woman? I’d say “Let’s get dinner instead.” No need to directly shoot down his drinks idea…
/r/askFDS29/09/20 01:42 AM
29

While I know it’s not recommended, I’ve met previous boyfriends at previous internships or at work. For the one I met at the internship: we officially started dating after the internship ended. For the two I met at my corporate job: my company employs tens of thousands of people, and we were in completely different organizations sitting on different floors. All three were long-term relationships. I don’t regularly run into any of them (I haven’t seen two of them in years), but we would have no i…
/r/askFDS28/09/20 02:16 AM
6

“Hate” is a harsh word to use. While some women may get plastic surgery to look more appealing to men, there are still many that do it to feel more comfortable with themselves. The issue is less on the individual woman’s desire to change her appearance and more on how society constantly tells us that beauty is our only value and yet we are still never attractive enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:41 AM
59

Not “the poors” 😂💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:25 AM
7

Exactly. Also, I don’t know what she’s referring to, but the vast majority of Chanel handbags (almost all of their retail offerings and even a huge percentage of those on the resale market, save for some vintage pieces in less popular styles) are NOT $3K. Try $4-5K. Chanel and Hermès generally have superb resale value, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:20 AM
11

So, so valuable. I love the bit about diverting your attention to a goal. I’ve been initially speaking to someone, but whenever I find myself thinking too much about him, I put on the next Duolingo course of the language I’m learning! Helps immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 02:39 PM
1

You should be proud of sticking up for yourself ❤️ It hurts like hell now, but just imagine all the incredible things you can do on your Fridays from now on! Also, I have to admit I laughed when you said your cactus bit. I’m storing that one for future use if need be.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 02:14 PM
6

My heart breaks to read this. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Sadly, addiction is difficult to overcome, and no amount of begging will change his mind. He needs to want to do it for himself. I have close family members who battle with addiction everyday, and it has been a losing battle for my family. We have tried every tactic. It doesn’t work. Until they make the effort on their side, the addiction will win every time. Take the time to cry, yell, scream, whatever you need to cop…
/r/askFDS19/09/20 04:23 AM
8

Mine were men who thought just because I made good money (I didn’t tell them how much I made, my job basically gives it away) they could nickel and dime me for damn near everything. I used to get hit up for the Venmo charge AT dinner. Fuck THAT. I’m more than happy to treat a boyfriend if I invite them to dinner, and I did frequently, but repay the favor. Damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 12:08 AM
204

Yep. Years ago, I got an ex of mine a pricey pair of sneakers. Mind you, I was in college at the time, so this was a hefty purchase for me. For my birthday, in return, I got a video game. Not a new release. Like one of those $12.99 ones. I was shocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:11 PM
34

Now this is the plot twist I didn’t know I needed 👏🏼 Glad you both left that NVM and forged a friendship out of it. At least he was good for one thing 😂
/r/askFDS17/09/20 06:22 AM
6

YES! Holy mother of god, the feet I have seen on some men makes me shudder. The worst is when they’re openly wearing flip flops ALL THE TIME since they’re so ignorant to the fact that their feet are disgusting. I realize some professions result in feet getting messed up beyond repair, so I’m not talking about general wear/calluses, but there is no excuse for consistently dirty feet or long, unkempt toenails.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:19 AM
11

That’s atrocious. I can’t even imagine kissing someone who didn’t care about their dental hygiene 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 09:05 PM
9

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:22 PM
2

It seems like you’ve learned this already, but it is NEVER too late, and you are never in too deep, to leave if you’re unhappy. You come first. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe and happy. A relationship should never continue at the expense of your own happiness. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:08 PM
38

This is sadly 100% true. “I have a boyfriend” used to be my go-to (even if I was single) to turn guys away. 99% of the time, it would work immediately. Then I read a similar comment to yours years ago, and I was infuriated. Now, even if I was in a relationship, I look them in the eyes and clearly say “I’m not interested.” No explanation, because they don’t deserve one. I don’t want to give them even the slightest hope that if I were single, I would want them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:54 PM
13

Exactly. Either that or I was doing something more important. Late for an interview? Never. Late for a “friend” who wants to catch up who I am 99% sure will try and sell me something? Absolutely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 05:48 PM
1

I agree with everyone suggesting therapy and not rushing into it. It’s important that you put yourself first and work on maintaining all facets of your health before attempting to date and finding yourself a quality woman. My father was a U.S. Marine and comes from a generation not as open or willing to go to therapy. Although he is an incredible man who has done nothing but provide for my family and I, he has his fair share of deep-rooted trauma from his time in the Corps. The experiences you h…
/r/askFDS12/09/20 09:05 PM
5

Lmaooooo at this guy knowing that she’s 9 YEARS younger and is more successful than he is. He knows he’s in a dead end job and routinely needs his girlfriend to encourage him through everything but ONLY him? My god, I pity this fool. That post is embarrassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 03:38 PM
13

Damn, do I need to get in on this? I sit indoors all day with my dog avoiding people 😂 Sounds perfect for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:14 AM
10

😂😂😂 I’m dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:28 PM
2

I would love this as well! Thank you so much for sharing ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:36 AM
17

Once again...a man providing his thoughts when they weren’t warranted to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 03:21 AM
121

I 100% agree now that I’m out of college, have a job, and would be more open to meeting someone while out and about. However, when I was in college and walking to class or the library, literally the last thing I wanted was to be bothered by someone trying to flirt with me. There are endless opportunities to meet someone on campus if you’re open to it. However, there were times where it would distract me from my studies and I’d get annoyed, so if avoiding a certain type of outfit meant I’d have p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:37 PM
20

OH GOD, that’s not even...ok, never mind. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:16 PM
71

What I love about every single one of these screenshots is that the woman’s responses are always articulate, creative, and agonizingly hysterical. The man is always like “you’re ugly, bitch, I didn’t want you anyway”, when he literally said the opposite 2 messages ago 😂 He’s probably still trying to process the insane burn he just received. Brain 🤖 does 🤖 not 🤖 compute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:55 PM
28

While I agree that it does take being observant to know the exact plant your SO likes and going out and getting it, it’s hardly difficult to listen to her if it’s truly something she’s passionate about. I’m genuinely shocked people are falling over themselves that someone’s HUSBAND bought her a plant that I’m sure she spoke about on many occasions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 08:45 PM
36

Wow, he doesn’t like stupid dogs? Hmm, seems like the pot’s calling the kettle black...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:27 AM
82

Me AF. Almost every single guy I’ve dated has endlessly complimented my drive and intelligence, yet they never fail to always mansplain or attempt to correct me on things I 100% know more about than they do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:19 PM
2

Lmao 💀 Yeah, in this thread, multiple people nominated Anthony as the ultimate LVM name 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:07 AM
3

Nikyta Moreno’s entire story in the New York Post here. TW: miscarriage I was absolutely appalled reading this story. This woman discovered her ex husband had been cheating on her with another woman he met at the gym who lived a block away. He didn’t even have the decency to come clean at ANY point before the engagement. This clown was also meeting with this woman multiple times a day and eventually moved into her townhouse...the same month his WIFE miscarried their child, which he adamantly ref…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 12:47 AM
9

My favorite response to men saying “You’ll change your mind” or “Let me know when you change your mind” is “Never have, and I won’t change for you!” 😂 I’ve used it with men on apps and exes during breakups and it never fails to just annihilate their ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 04:27 AM
12

Damn, Inder needs to get off Tinder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:57 AM
8

In addition to allllll the other red flags, if a grown man seriously uses the word “banging” to describe sex, I’m blocking him. What an unsavory description.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:47 AM
14

Yeah, moms sometimes don’t realize just how much they fuel this. My ex’s mom had his sister and I helping her in the kitchen for Thanksgiving dinner. My ex walked into the room and immediately sat on the couch with his dad to watch football. When I said the women would like his help, his mom literally shushed me and said it was OK and that he could keep watching football. I had to pick my jaw off the floor...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:40 AM
26

Responding with 👀: “I want to smash but won’t inflate your ego by telling you directly.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:37 AM
151

NOT AN ANTHONY 💀😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:41 PM
4

Exactly. I should have seen the major red flag that he was the oldest of his friends by at least 3-4 years and that each woman he dated was younger than the last. What a Peter Pan. So completely oblivious! They always say “You have to tell us how you feel!” but when we do, it’s too much for them to handle 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:03 PM
5

I was actually reading more on Courtney yesterday, and I’m still appalled by this story, even years later. I was shocked to see that she had only divorced him earlier this year. It seems as though she is on a path to healing and is trying to put this chapter of her life behind her. She’s been open about the years of emotional and physical abuse during her marriage, and it seems like she finally recognizes how wrong it was for Doug to seek her out and for her parents to allow that union to happen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:29 PM
30

Sounds like my NVM ex too. Verbatim said: “You’re wrong. You just expect too much from me, and I know I’m not going to make you happy anyway, so I don’t even try.” This came after I asked him why he didn’t make an effort to spend more time with me (pre-FDS). I saw him...max. 1-2 times a week, rarely alone. We were always somehow with his friends or roommate. It was like a slap in the face. Sadly I stayed for another 4 months but luckily came to my senses and ended it. He ended up dating a girl 3…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:52 AM
19

This is what it’s been for me. I’ve always chosen to prioritize depth vs. breadth when it comes to my friendships, but that’s not always reciprocated with my friends. In the past, I’d supplement that loneliness with using whoever I was dating as a crutch. Although I’m quite content on my own physically, it was nice knowing I always had someone to talk to at least. Recently I dug deep and told myself that isn’t healthy if I wasn’t happy in the relationship itself. Ultimately I’ve never been more …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:55 AM
5

This is exactly what I needed to read today. I went through a personal tragedy a couple months ago, and all of my “friends” except one ghosted me after the initial “Thinking of you!” text. No check in or even a text about ANYTHING else for months. I struggled trying to wrap my mind around why no one was talking to me when these were all people I had poured my heart and soul into when the tides were turned. The best thing I ever did was accept that you can never truly understand people. You can’t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:52 PM
204

“Kinda hit you”? Either he did or he didn’t. Whether he “meant” to do it or not, it doesn’t matter. He was unable to control his emotions enough to react in an appropriate way. That is hugely problematic and the first sign that this type of behavior will only continue to escalate. OP, please safely leave this relationship. You deserve better, especially if it’s because YOU were confronting him about something you found. I’m so glad that woman was there to back you up, but don’t let her effort go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:35 PM
9

Exactly. It’s nowhere near the same. When I would date, I used to always share my location with at least 2-3 friends so they knew to follow up if something happened. It’s crazy that even needs to be something I think about, but it’s not worth the risk otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:11 PM
18

This is what I will never understand when men say they have it sOoOo rough. Men complain day and night that “oh, she used me for my money! You only wanted a free meal/drink/movie from me!” Women, on the other hand, go on dates or date men that can result in FAR more precarious outcomes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:00 PM
38

Proves money can’t buy manners or common decency. Goodness gracious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:14 PM
28

Exactly. They’re more vulnerable, less likely to be confident in standing their ground, and more likely to be impressed by the bare minimum he provides. It’s predatory, and I’m disgusted he’s purposely seeking it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:35 PM
57

Lmao 😂 I’m from Texas. Good LUCK to this creep if he’s anywhere from the South and thinks most women 25+ aren’t looking for stable partners at that point. I had friends in college looking for husbands at 20-21 and wanting kids by 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:33 PM
7

OMFG I’m making this my profile pic on OLD if I ever decide to date again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:58 AM
9

WHY WHY WHY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:56 AM
10

Your mom is an OG Queen. So lucky to have a role model like her guiding you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:23 PM
33

If you have to explicitly say you are, clearly you’re not...what a clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 01:43 AM
5

His entire text is still so emotionally manipulative. Yes, he’s complimenting her, to a degree. But he’s also very clearly saying that, in his mind, she’s not worth changing his ways for. He knows damn well she’s not an equal, but a step above. He knows he’s outmatched. He would STILL rather go for “the weakest member of the heard” and not the leader of the pack, if we’re maintaining his analogy. Not to mention...he’s still attempting to control the narrative by saying “I didn’t pursue you”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 12:32 AM
9

Lmao “Studying at Student” in his bio 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:08 AM
8

I was literally thinking the same thing. Speaks like a Neanderthal 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 01:13 AM
19

One of my Latin exes was routinely giving money to his parents when they “needed” it. Yet they refused to cancel or even downgrade their $150/month cable package, 2x/week movie theater nights, or anything else that was definitely not a necessity. Then, when HE asked where I wanted to go on my birthday and I said my favorite Asian restaurant (max. $120 for us both total, as we don’t really drink), he dragged his feet for 3 weeks until they no longer had reservations, then took me to a cheap pizza…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:47 AM
24

This will vary drastically from culture to culture IMO. Anecdotally, I’ve dated two Latin men in the past; I would not put it past them to pick their mothers over me when it came down to it, despite being in long term relationships with both. Both had to make it veryyyy clear that their moms approved of me after meeting them for the first time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:49 PM
5

Yes! I just started following them too. They seem so genuinely happy and in love, even after all these years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:45 PM
193

This is key. I once had a man tell me he “couldn’t read [me], and it’s never happened before.” All because I wouldn’t scream or argue when he was being irrational. Just stone cold. Walk away. We’re not here to feed the male ego and to explain anything to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:38 PM
6

Exactly this. I was told by a friend that I am able to move on relatively quickly from relationships because she could tell I would “mourn” the end of the relationship while still in it. So I’d fight for it until I was emotionally drained, at which point ripping the bandaid felt like a relief. It’s happened in every single relationship I’ve had in the last 3-4 years. I think I do it because I know that once it’s over, it’s over. I don’t do on and off. I don’t take people back. If they ended thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:08 PM
54

$37K-$87K? Dude, just say you’re making $37K and move on 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 06:10 AM
15

Absolutely. I’m so troubled reading this and that men like this exist. Has she attempted to Google herself? You’d be shocked how just having someone’s full name can yield the most personal of info (i.e., address). It might be worth having her reach out to any of these companies that scrub this information to ensure her new address isn’t posted anywhere without her knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:48 PM
31

Holy shit. My hair stood up reading this. This is my worst nightmare as a woman, and I am so, so sorry your friend is living through this. I have no advice other than to wish her the utmost best as she tries to put this horrible nightmare behind her. I hope she stays safe and that this man is institutionalized. Clearly he’s deranged if he is stalking a woman he dated for 10 months 21 YEARS ago. I’m not sure if you two have some sort of system in place for regular check ins. A couple of my female…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:40 PM
4

Fade, likely some sort of shaved line at the “cut”. My friends and I always joked that it was the soccer player haircut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:21 PM
11

100%. And I’ve seen jealousy in men I’ve dated since. But those men either discussed those feelings with me in a calm manner or brushed it off altogether, because they trusted me and where we stood. This ex was aggressive (not violent toward me, just lots of bravado), and he once attempted to fight the boyfriend that came after him. I hope he’s changed, though I’ll never know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:56 PM
11

Are you getting child support from your child’s father? I wouldn’t say it should be expected that your husband fully split all childcare expenses for a child that isn’t his own. He should certainly offer, and some go above and beyond financially in that regard, but my belief is that those expenses should be discussed between you and the child’s biological father, whenever possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:48 PM
48

Crippling jealousy even before we were officially dating. This was in college where we were often at the same events without planning to be. I couldn’t even talk to guy friends without him butting in and getting possessive. I was 18 at the time, and I thought it was a sign that he liked me. But really it was just a sign that he had severe self confidence and trust issues, was quick to anger, and couldn’t understand healthy boundaries. I vowed to never, ever date someone as jealous as he was afte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 09:27 PM
10

I have been avoiding it altogether. I’m not really interested in dating right now even if we weren’t in a pandemic, but if I were, I’d be using this time to level up. I know far too many people going to weddings, meeting with various friends, etc. without masks and with people they definitely haven’t been quarantining with. I’m in Texas, where things have been pretty bad, so it’s 100% NOT worth it to me. So I’m just not even putting myself out there to get in a situation where I’m even asked or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:10 PM
18

“Sorry, thought you could take a joke.” “Sorry, didn’t realize you’d get so sensitive about it.” “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you get defensive.” “Sorry you’re always annoyed at me.” “See? Now I feel bad.” And my personal favorite: “I see that you’re pissed off so I’ll give you space.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 12:55 AM
11

I sincerely, sincerely hope people are giving her the advice to end this relationship immediately and to seek therapy if needed. She’s 20 and is still so young, and she could very well not understand the severity of what truly happened to her. I have a friend who went through something very similar in college, and it took her years (and lots of therapy) to accept that she had actually been raped by someone she knew and let into her home. So often these experiences result in the woman placing an …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:05 PM
6

Well, +1 point for realizing you’re wasting her time. You’re still at -100 for literally everything else in this garbage word salad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:23 AM
3

This is awesome! Thank you. I feel like I over index on being polite (in all facets of life, not with dating specifically) but you raise an excellent point about compliments from men, that they’re usually paired with some sort of expectation, like I should be ever so grateful they chose ME to give a compliment to. I’ll definitely adopt this mindset moving forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:37 PM
3

Question about your edit: how would you respond to a compliment (a genuine one, not a negging one like “are you real?” 🙄)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:01 PM
2

Sending you love and hugs. This was painful to read. It’s easy for me to be an outsider and say not to feel shame and guilt (even though that experience was 100% not your fault), so I’m glad you’ve been able to come to this realization on your own and are being gracious and kind to yourself. I’m happy to hear you’re doing much better now ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:39 PM
10

YOU’RE KIDDING! I cannot believe that. You’re exactly right though. If they can lie about their age, something seemingly so mundane, what else are they capable of lying about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:39 PM
53

Exactly. This is just predatory. He’s literally luring women in on the pretense that he’s 24, with his age range set to probably 21-25, if not younger. Wanna bet he doesn’t disclose his real age to most of his matches? He probably only said it to OP because she called him out on his bullshit. This guy isn’t lying about his age just because he thinks younger women are hotter. It’s because he thinks his “accomplishments” are more attractive to a younger woman when in reality they’re baseline quali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:14 PM
5

I literally...my mouth is open reading this. The audacity to even attempt this. Wow. This is why I don’t like listing where I work whenever I was on dating apps. They’d ask me to refer them to my company or for advice. Are you kidding me? If you want life advice, get a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:46 PM
8

Ah, this one stings because I’ve been there. Hope she realizes sooner rather than later that a man interested in “forever” with you would have no doubts about his intentions of marrying you. This guy is with her until something better comes along. He’s wondering if he’s “settling down” too early by dating her in their early 20s and now talking about marriage when he’s 25. He’s 100% trying to string her along in a relationship without having to take the next step that she’s more than justified in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:07 PM
72

Can we please? This is now one of my favorite forms of entertainment during quarantine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:08 PM
18

My thoughts exactly. I’m half Filipino (my parents met while both working abroad), and my mother is terrifying and will NOT take any shit. I detest the notion that Asian women are submissive and are meant to accommodate to the needs of a man. I even get this stereotype pushed onto me as a half Asian woman. It’s only when men find out I’m Asian that they presume these things 🤦🏻‍♀️ This man clearly thinks being a foreigner in a uniform means he’s hot shit, but in reality they’re a dime a dozen. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:25 PM
7

“Wyd 👀” 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 02:44 PM
15

This. In the past, when I felt like reaching out to an ex, this is always what prevented me. At first, it’s the pride of staying strong and not giving in. As the time passes though, you soon realize you don’t even miss or want to talk to them. That’s why cutting off all communication with exes is so vital. It helps you heal and move on. OP, block this guy on every platform and don’t give him the chance to get and stay in your head. Stay strong. Soon you won’t even think about him at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 05:02 AM
156

LMAO, at first I was like “OK, I get being concerned about COVID even though he WAS the one that asked her out” and then that PLOT TWIST at the end made me almost spit out my drink 😂 Good for your sister for looking him up, calling him out on his BS, and blocking him. Good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 09:07 PM
18

Agreed, though I doubt this guy is the right target market for one if he’s already complaining about a $30 date 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:45 PM
54

I made the terrible mistake of finding this post in that sub because I was interested in what people had to stay. I was APPALLED at the comments from the OP on that post, as well as so many others. So many people recommending “free or cheap” activities like...you guessed it...a walk in the park. SO many suggestions for walks in the park to get some sunshine, and !! it’s !! free !! 🙄 Next, we’ve got the coffee date. But one chap said if he buys the coffee/drinks (no more than $10!), he tells the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:45 PM
24

That was the part that stressed me out the most. How are you increasing the amount of dates you’re going on right now?! That’s just irresponsible depending on where he is. Any time I even consider getting back on a dating app, I’m remembering this. I’m not going on a date until this is over, and this sub doesn’t even make me want to 😂 There are some real duds out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 03:18 PM
12

I don’t like how, as a society, the decision not to drink becomes this whole topic of discussion for people. I rarely drink (tbh, it’s honestly because I’d prefer to use my money and calories on dessert 🤣), and I get questioned all the time. One time some guy asked if I was pregnant because I didn’t want to drink during brunch. WTF...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:09 AM
9

Oh my god. This is genius. I’m saving this for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 04:45 AM
14

Exactly. Either straight up unemployed or “freelancing” 99.9% of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:43 PM
38

They always need to find an explanation that helps them rationalize the simple fact that she’s just not into you, bro. I can’t count how many times this has happened to me. “You’ve been hurt before, that’s why your walls are up and you won’t let me in.” OK, you’re not my therapist, get off your high horse. You don’t know me, so don’t even attempt to assume my history if I haven’t even shared that with you. I’m not letting you in because you’re proving to be a real dud 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:29 PM
70

WHAT?! The description of this asshat is making me livid. How does he extrapolate someone’s confidence from that situation? It seems incredibly clear that you were poised and not just there to stroke his ego. The problem for him is that you challenged him because you didn’t show your hand and were calm and collected. He’s a narcissist who expects women to fall at his feet, and when he finally met one who didn’t succumb to his shitty, creepy methods of sexual pressure, he tried to demean you and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 05:47 PM
170

Such a good reminder. He’s butt hurt you didn’t give into his demands and stood your ground. Also, in what world does strongly rejecting a sexual advance because the man doesn’t meet your standards mean you’re not sexually confident? I’d argue that’s the exact definition of it... He’s a clown. You dodged a huge bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 03:43 PM
34

What account is that? I want to report this immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 02:50 AM
2

I had to dry heave for a moment while reading this 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:46 PM
16

I can walk in the park by myself and would happily prefer that over having to make small talk with a stranger at the same time 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 10:44 PM
15

I just want to hug the girlfriend because she seems like a saint for putting up with this asshat’s BS for so long. She made him food because she liked doing it and because she cared about him. He took advantage of her and absolutely deserves every single person calling him out for it. The horrible thing, too, is that if she truly found joy in cooking, this is going to taint that for her. She’ll never be able to cook a meal without knowing that he’s expecting it of her. Hope she leaves him so she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:04 AM
8

Is this guy super attractive or something? Not excusing this AT ALL, I’m just really struggling to come up with any other reason why a guy would act and be this disrespectful and still land a woman. This dude’s 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:34 AM
40

My ex asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. As we hadn’t seen each other much because we were both busy at work that month, I told him I just wanted a dinner for him and I to get sushi. I recommended one place in particular that I really wanted to try. I didn’t want to make it a huge thing with all of our friends and just wanted to spend the day with him. I mentioned that my birthday always falls on graduation weekend and that every restaurant in town gets booked up 2-3 weeks in advance.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 10:29 PM
3

I love how you stuck to your guns on this. Not making an effort? Doesn’t get your time. Next time (hopefully there isn’t one, though), don’t even apologize. None of it was your fault, and women already apologize more often than they need to. HE is the only one that should be apologizing in this situation. Not you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:21 PM
33

Have standards that eliminate 99.9% of them, that’s why 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:09 PM
44

You’re a g’damn Queen in my eyes. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and also for not succumbing to his threats and demands. Also incredibly glad you were able to get out without him waking up. Seems like this guy expected a lot from you, and I’d be worried about how he’d react if he caught you leaving in the middle of the night. Hopefully you never felt like your safety was at jeopardy with him; you just never know nowadays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:03 PM
27

A couple first dates where I genuinely offered to split the bill (and they accepted) because “I felt bad about how many girls they have to be paying for on other first dates” 🤦🏻‍♀️ I judge myself all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:03 PM
17

Honestly, I’m glad you did if not only for the reason that I both cackled and cringed at his responses at the same time. So many words to say...nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:14 PM
4

I’m an only child and have always loved doing things on my own, even when in a relationship. I’ll go to nice dinners, the movies, shopping sprees, concerts, and spas by myself. I also love doing weekend getaways with just me and my dog, especially now that COVID means I can’t travel as easily internationally. I also really enjoy volunteering on my own. Volunteering is always so fulfilling, but sadly a lot of my friends don’t care for it. So why bring someone if they’ll ruin the mood? I’ve volunt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:31 AM
2

I just did this today! It was so peaceful and energizing. I definitely want to make it a weekly thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:20 AM
26

This is all amazing, but I especially love the travel tip one. I grew up abroad and traveled extensively throughout my life, and I struggle to connect deeply with anyone (romantically or otherwise) who doesn’t feel the need to see more of the world and experience other cultures. Saving this for when I do date again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 06:58 AM
8

I didn’t see Cam/Cameron on here but whew, def gotta add that one too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:01 AM
26

I’ve had 2 exes tell me: “No one will ever love you more than I do.” One was wrong. The other will be, too. Ah, the joy of emotional manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 11:09 PM
10

This really and truly broke my heart. At first, I was just pissed off at the guy, but hearing how she’s pregnant and responsible for so much of it on her own, and on a $10K salary...devastating. I sincerely hope for her sake and the sake of THEIR baby that he supports them, at least more proportionally to his income. For God’s sake. I can’t believe people are like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 05:04 AM
3

No, not saying you were criticizing! But a lotttt of people in their comments do, so those were the people I was commenting about 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 07:37 PM
8

Oh, absolutely. I wonder the same, but I don’t think it’s my place to criticize a person on how they spend their money or for whom, like a lot of those who publicly question them in their comments. I stay in my own lane. I’m making my bag, I’m putting into my savings, and I’m accomplishing my goals. They’re not bothering me and don’t owe me any clarification around how they earn their money. That’s just how I see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 06:14 PM
64

I believe they’re both college aged or just out of college. I have no idea where they get their money from as they do give each other lavish gifts pretty frequently. She has been outspoken about it not being her parents’ money but not sure about her boyfriend. They’re pretty tight lipped about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 05:23 PM
160

I’ve been following this couple for a while, and they seem so genuinely happy and unbothered by the (ridiculous) amount of hate they get, from men and women alike. Just a bunch of jealous pickmeishas and arrogant LVMs who continue to stay pressed and feel the need to bring people down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:38 PM
8

Curious how long you both have been dating exclusively. You said “talking to a new guy” and later “current boyfriend”. Are you both in a committed relationship? Usually when I’m dating someone exclusively, I don’t say we’re still talking. I agree with others who say to continue to be weary to some degree. It seems like this is still in early stages - too early to tell if he truly is a HVM. The honeymoon stage of a relationship is real, and it takes time to see them as they truly are. If he maint…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:10 AM
29

I tHiNk WaY oUtSiDe ThE bOx Nah, dude, you’re just a pretentious asshole who thinks your shit doesn’t smell 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 04:04 AM
3

Too young to understand houseplants but apparently not too young to try and have mother him. Does not compute 🤡 What a clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 08:53 PM
31

Oh, obviously. This guy has no boundaries. He probably would think it was “hot” knowing her mom was just outside. I wanna barf🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:49 PM
49

Hit the nail on the head. Clearly this person cannot stand to see a woman put someone (her mother! Goodness gracious) above himself. The audacity to invite himself and then assume the mom was going to sleep on the couch in her own home so he could sleep in the bed with her daughter? Tactless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 06:21 PM
3

If I still lived at home, I’d pay for all my dates too, girl 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 09:02 PM
7

It’s like...I appreciate the effort for the idea almost, but at that point it’s embarrassing if you’re eating something so different from the cuisine being offered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 08:38 PM
7

This was my favorite part of the post! The audacity to say you’re walking away but then wait for a woman to chase you. Boy, bye. A guy I dated tried this stunt on me over text when I ended things: “Not gonna lie, I won’t try and see you again. I’ll hold onto your Christmas present for when you change your mind.” “I don’t want to see you again. That’s the point. I’ve happily accepted that reality. Keep the gift. I’m not changing my mind.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:27 PM
19

I had a friend who told me he went on a 5-country trip through Asia and the only thing his friends ate was McDonald’s and chicken nuggets. I would NEVER date someone like that, especially given how important travel (and international cuisine) is to me. Uncomfortable, stubborn, and frustrating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:03 PM
11

Oof, read them to filth 👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:13 PM
55

Any guy that specifically calls out his height like that (especially so early in the bio) is trouble. It’s different if it’s next to your age and job as an option to include, but I find that guys who mention this within the free response section do so because they think it makes them that much more of a desirable commodity and that it’s enough to win a woman’s interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:36 PM
100

Yes! Except “interested piqued?” doesn’t make sense 🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:27 PM
17

I’m a Taurus woman, and the most insecure man child I’ve ever dated was a fellow Taurus. Constantly upset I was upfront about being busy (either with my job or other dates) while sleeping with numerous other woman (that he lied about). No willingness to commit. Always wanted a woman’s attention to the point where he tried making me jealous to get it (didn’t work). Very materialistic. Two members of my immediate team at work are Taurus women, who I get along with splendidly. I deeply respect them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 09:18 PM
4

Of course. It’s the truth. ❤️ Sending you a hug for even having had to deal with someone like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:58 PM
15

I need to talk to the Tauruses that pissed you off. They’re giving us a bad rap! 😂 Here, come in for a hug in my cashmere blanket. We can light candles and plant succulents together ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:55 PM
6

LORDDD, my last three exes were all Virgos (two born on the same day, one born the day after), and it was all “Ok, if that’s how you feel, but you feeling this way makes ME feel bad.” Like 🥴 You upset me and I brought it up. Now it’s about YOU? Also, never took accountability for their actions. It was always someone else messing things up. They never had a hand in things going astray.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:13 PM
11

Damn, this one hurt me! I just pulled myself off the couch to get food and “browse” some clothes before seeing this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:09 PM
71

This is such an important lesson: “it’s not my job to look after his emotions.” Good for you for leaving that date; sounded atrocious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:05 PM
6

I just want to say that you are SO strong for leaving this disgrace of a boy. This behavior doesn’t warrant him a man in my eyes. For you to have gone through what he said to you, and later what he did to you, is something I hope no woman ever has to go through, but you seem to have come out of a terrible situation with such grace. That is a testament to you and your character. ❤️ I am so glad you’re doing better now. You deserve 1000% better than how you were treated with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 07:59 PM
107

Oh my god. Definitely doing this when I begin dating again. Terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:15 PM
3

I agree. At least he’s honest and upfront.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:13 PM
36

I feel like any man who relies on discussing sex with a woman he barely knows is doing so as a crutch to carry a conversation and likely has little value to offer in other topics of conversation. Inexperienced and immature (sexually and in general) all around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:25 PM
5

I am shook at your final response. 🔥 So many guys think this type of flirting is cute. Good for you for shutting it down like a boss (figuratively and literally).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:34 AM
21

This made my blood boil. Why go on a dating app if you’re going to be passive about every single interaction? Show some initiative, throw out an idea and time, and if it doesn’t work with the woman, adapt accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 07:17 PM
3

A number of years back, I spent another $300 for an earlier flight (I had already spent $300 for a later flight I never took because I couldn’t change it) to leave my international vacation early because the guy I was seeing was leaving town due to visa issues 🤡 It is one of my biggest regrets. While he was back home, I also drove multiple times back and forth to his place to get visa documents mailed from his US employer to send to him overseas. He’s back in the US now, and I’m glad he was able…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 03:18 PM
1

Cold, hard truth right here. It is an enormous turn off to see this behavior and makes them look nothing more like children, complaining about wanting something and acting out to try and get it. It says so much about a man if they allow themselves to be governed by their sexual urges to the point where the woman becomes nothing more than a goal or a prize. This behavior is not endearing or flattering to women. There are ways to make a woman feel attractive and desired, and more likely to respond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:40 PM
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