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misdreavus79 Archive

View 0 posts and 63 comments by misdreavus79 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

One of the things I’ve learned after my divorce is that picking my battles is what’s in my children’s best interests. You don’t want to spend your time going in and out of court to prove a point. That doesn’t help anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/19 11:53 PM
-4

I have a hyphenated name. I faced no such issues growing up. Do what you think is best, but IMO, you’re picking the wrong battle. Sorry this isn’t what you want to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/19 02:58 PM
-9

Genuine question to you: is it worth the fight? Keep in mind, you’re going to be dealing with this person for the rest of your child’s life. Is this the battle you want to pick? As you said, there’s no benefit to the child either way, but the fight will cost you money that would otherwise go to your kid. Is it worth it?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/19 01:33 PM
1

Better safe than sorry, of course, but yes. It’s possible to have an amicable divorce where things work out. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. People (and for whatever reason especially in this sub) have beaten down this idea in people’s heads that divorce is excruciating and the other party is out to clean you dry and make your life miserable. Believe what your eyes are telling you instead of what other may try to put in your head. That said, protect yourself. Document everything, and resear…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/19 12:54 PM
1

Ah I see. While it’s best to have everything in writing, I don’t see how a judge would rule against you in this case unless it were a case of you hiding assets, which you’re not doing. But yeah, better safe than sorry!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/19 12:50 PM
2

Wait, so your divorce isn't final yet? How are you getting married if you're not yet divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/19 10:49 AM
8

It does get better. And you’ll be a better person for it once it does.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 04:07 PM
2

I think the mutually agreed upon part of your statement is key. You have to agree to the split. Keep in mind, alimony has nothing to do with this particular issue, so don’t use it as a basis for what you think she should get. IMO, the most painless way to do this is to split everything in half.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/19 08:10 AM
6

It's been mentioned by others here, but you seriously need to work on yourself. These thoughts are red flags: I know she isn't right for me but I want her to realize we were once a happy family and that what she is doing is wrong. What she's doing isn't wrong, actually. If you're separated you are now living separate lives. You should focus on living your own life, and not worrying about how she's living hers. I went into her draw and found she had magnum condoms. You are violating this person's…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/19 12:58 PM
3

If you’re posting here it means you’re getting a divorce. That’s step one in making a better situation for you and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/19 11:24 AM
3

The way he's describing her makes it sound like it wouldn't be past her to do this. Why put yourself in a situation that would giver all the ammunition to do it?
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 09:31 PM
4

People, please stop telling this person to violate the terms of his agreement. Violations have real consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 09:27 PM
4

What I’m saying is, even if they do hold you in contempt the worse that will happen is they will modify your child support. Actually the worst that could happen is he goes to jail. Please don't give people advice that could land them in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 09:25 PM
1

They won't. You're their dad. And nothing will take that away from you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:54 PM
1

How to best be there for your kids: This one should be simple. Continue to do what you're doing. Your relationship with your kids shouldn't change based on who she introduces into their life. Is it going to be a little different having another male figure around? Sure, but you're still their father and will remain their father for the rest of their lives. How to remain civil with the adults: This one's a bit trickier, because it seems like you're unconsciously admitting that this change is affec…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 11:46 PM
2

What exactly are you looking to handle?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/19 04:16 PM
0

Hmm this one's tough. It's hard to see the life you envisioned for yourself evaporate in front of your eyes, but unfortunately you're well past the point of no return here. Telling her not to communicate with with this other person is only going to make it more likely to happen, and it'll make her resent you from preventing her from doing what she wants to do. ​ I cant help but think she is still talking to the guy,. You can't control that so I'd try to stop thinking about it altogether. ​ How c…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/19 10:23 AM
3

Was going to come in for this. Please keep in mind that moving forward, your decisions should be about what is best for the children. Even if she told you straight up that she didn’t want to be a mother, you have to prove that she isn’t fit to be one in order to even begin to ask for full custody. And if your motivation in asking for more custody is child support, you may as well quit while you’re ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/19 12:49 PM
3

It doesn’t have to turn out bad if you don’t want it to, but be aware that eventually you will see things disagree on things and you’ll have to work it out as adults.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/19 04:46 PM
1

Exactly! She’s going to be in your life one way or another, may as well make sure it’s in a positive way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/19 09:23 PM
3

It’s just a lunch. Do you have the self control to avoid a compromising situation? If you do, then it’s just a lunch. Have fun, catch up, and leave it at that. If you don’t have the self control to keep it light, or you think she might not, then skip it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/19 07:35 PM
20

Here's what you do. You get a divorce. ​ You can always get remarried if it's worth working out. But the last thing you want to do is keep someone in a marriage they don't want to be in. Living a life of misery is no way to live, and trust me, she'll be miserable if she feels like she's being forced to stay in a marriage she doesn't want.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/19 12:56 AM
1

She is. The way I see it is I’d be paying much more for a nanny who probably couldn’t give two shits about my kids, so why not give it to the person who actually birthed them, regardless of how I feel about her?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/19 12:07 PM
1

That you can do something about. It’s not up to her whether you get to see your kids more often.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/19 12:06 PM
4

The best advice my lawyer gave me when I had that same concern was to focus on my kids being cared for. If my kids are cared for, consider the rest a parting gift. I pay 3000 a month and honestly I don’t miss it when the alternative was me being miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/19 02:29 PM
2

The article was useful, the headline was not.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/19 12:17 PM
1

I sure hope parents don’t feel “forced” to pay child support for their own kids, but otherwise thanks for the info.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/19 12:16 PM
2

You don’t need to show her jack shit. As long as lawyers and judge are aware that you’re doing this that’s all you need. And of course as long as you’re not leaving her out to dry both of you have equal rights to the marital assets until the divorce is finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/19 05:59 AM
3

You can’t watch your kids 24/7. You have to trust that your STBX has her own kids’ best interests at heart. And you’re always going to be your kids’ father. They know this and so do you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 09:55 PM
6

The men who move out usually have the means to do so. She moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 02:21 PM
2

Happy birthday! Soon enough you won't even notice she didn't text you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 12:11 PM
1

The good thing is that if she stops making payments on her car, her credit will be shot too. Is she the kind of person who’d cut off her nose to spite her face?
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/19 01:48 PM
2

I would say act upon things that are happening and not things you fear may happen. Otherwise, you take the risk of falling into a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you’re a good dad, that’s all your kid will care about.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/19 10:46 AM
3

You might want to get a lawyer still. Amicable situations can turn contentious in a heartbeat as soon as someone feels like they’re getting taken advantage of. And no, your situation is not different. And neither was mine, even though we were able to ultimately work it out.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/19 06:00 PM
2

If it’s the meanest thing someone can do, why do you want to do it?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/19 07:30 PM
1

Now, but not because of the money. Money can be earned. You should do it now because the longer you wait the older your kids will be and the more complicated the separation will become. Also child support, alimony, etc., can (and will) be recalculated at any time. So I wouldn’t make any decisions on the notion that whatever the judge decides now will be permanent.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/19 02:18 PM
5

“I’m not married...” Well that explains a ton. Please don’t get married.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/19 02:12 PM
3

Go. Someone has to rip the bandaid off, and she wants it to be you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 11:43 AM
3

I haven't, but I could see why someone would.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/19 11:37 PM
4

The question to answer is if it’s worth it. If it’s just a year, and the potential cost is time with your kids, I don’t know if I’d risk it if I were you. But I’m not you so you have to make that choice for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/19 08:15 PM
7

I would be careful with someone who hasn't yet ended their marriage. Not because of reconciliation, per se, but because of all the issues that person needs to work through before they're ready to be in a committed relationship again. If I were you, I'd have an open and honest conversation with this person about what the expectations are. Also be honest with yourself? Do you want to be around as this person works through his feelings? Just about anything you do is going to remind him of his ex, b…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/19 05:42 PM
2

First and foremost, fall on the sword. Because you got caught redhanded, you're "at fault," for lack of a better term. If you show the court that you take responsibility for your actions, they're more likely to accept your fair attempt at a separation agreement. As per your specifics (THIS IS THE PART WHERE I MENTION I AM NOT A LAWYER AND THIS IS ONLY MY EXPERIENCE GOING THROUGH MY OWN DIVORCE) Get a lawyer if you don't have one already. Fairly obvious. Limit communication with her as much as po…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/19 05:32 PM
3

Do you have your own lawyer? If so, they should have the documents. Otherwise you'd have to ask the court directly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/19 11:41 PM
2

I've been seeing a lot of these nofap commitments around here as of late. Can anyone explain why? It seems that these do more harm than good... Anyway, if you're not ready to meet other people, that's fine. But remember, you're not together for a reason. Whenever the thought of her being with someone else comes to your mind, write down, then read aloud, all the reasons why you're no longer together. It is very important that you both write it down then say it out loud. After you do this enough, …
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/19 08:23 PM
4

I lost mine not too long after getting married, so nothing! As per your situation, try to find the solution that, while fair, is most amicable. You don't want to get into a long fight over something as insignificant (in the long run), as two thousand pounds.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/19 06:23 PM
1

Ah I see. Yeah you're probably in your head a little. I would say do what feels right, and when it doesn't feel right anymore cut back. That, of course, applies to anything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/19 06:22 PM
2

I’m not sure why you were abstaining in the first place, but it seems like you’re due. Go to town.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/19 05:10 PM
2

Time. It’s really the only thing that will help. Cliché, of course, but true.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/19 02:24 PM
1

Record EVERYTHING! Don’t let a single event go by without being documented. And don’t be afraid to call the police again if she pulls any shenanigans. The more evidence you have if her abusive behavior, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/19 10:00 AM
1

It sounds like you have a case, but I’d certainly talk to your/a lawyer about it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/18 11:52 AM
3

Click on “r/Divorce” in your comment and it should take you there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/18 03:18 PM
1

No need to be a dick dude (both of you, in fact). She’s just airing out her grievances. To the OP, did you mean to post on r/Divorce_Men? This seems something more suited to r/Divorce. You’ll get plenty of perspectives from men there if that’s what your looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/18 12:57 PM
2

Absolutely this. Kids first, and remember that they’re watching.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/18 03:43 AM
3

Man this is tough. I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. At least my kids are young enough that they won’t really know a life with us together. One’s three, the other one’s zero.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/18 05:56 PM
2

Godspeed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/18 02:14 PM
1

I don't know the whole situation, but this bit concerns me: me trying to compromise with her and her stating she wants to kill herself over living here Say you win, and force her to stay in Oklahoma. What happens if she follows through? Do you think your kids will be able to understand that? Would you want this situation to even have a possibility of happening? Given that this was a marriage between the two of you, what have you done so far to rectify the situation on your end (meaning, if and w…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/18 11:00 AM
1

People are never fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/18 09:13 AM
1

I was wasted when I proposed to her and I tend to be a people pleaser, to my own detriment. My therapist and I are working through all that now.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/18 06:40 AM
2

I will tell you what was told to me: you can win, or you can be happy. Can’t have both. Think of your children when making your next move(s).
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/18 06:29 PM
4

I had that feeling the morning after I proposed to her. And that's when I should have ended it, instead of seven years later.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/18 12:31 PM
1

If you have documentation that the other parent is alienating you from your child, you can take her to court for it. If you don’t, I suggest you start collecting that evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/18 09:46 AM
0

I am also not a lawyer, but I would say if you want to avoid court, and can afford it, and want your children to have as much support as possible, it's in your and your children's best interest to be proactive. If you have one, speak to your lawyer about it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/18 04:40 PM
3

Yeah, divorce is for the best here. Once you stop seeing the other person as a full-fledged human being, there’s is little chance for reconciliation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/18 12:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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