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mistake-number2 Archive

View 0 posts and 81 comments by mistake-number2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Time is all its gonna take. There is no set time frame cause everyone is different. Took me a long while. Couple years to get myself somewhat normal. When it gets bad, take time to breathe. Find someone to talk to. Its hell when you have noone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 09:10 PM
3

I was married 2x. 1st was 10yrs. 2nd was 20. So 30 out of 53 yrs of my life was marriages. I feel the pain.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:19 PM
4

Then there is your answer. Dont force yourself to be miserable. You have to watch out for you and your kids. Putting yourself in situation that tears you physically and mentally, that will ne picked up by your kids. The long term effect on them can possibly damge them. You dont want them to learn that being miserable is what life and marriage is about.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:10 PM
2

If you look at doing it, yall need to talk. Set boundaries. Stick to them. I understand the kids part. But where is your love towards her?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:00 PM
1

That there. The whole thing i am saying in a nutshell. Why are you wondering if you done anything different. Think back, did you do anything against the relationship? Did he? There is your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:28 PM
2

Honestly, i dont think it matters. Either one is not going to be for you benifit. You need to take care of you. His actions are making you question you. That in itself isnt good for mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:09 PM
3

Best thing is to seperate yourself from the scenario. Either he self sabotaging or he really has lost interest. Both which will bring you down. For your mental well being, get away while its easier.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:04 PM
3

Answer this. Would you have hung around this long if all that was done to you? Think about it on an honest plain. You need to worry about gettin you together. I believe after reading this, your marriage is done.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 10:53 PM
1

I never claimed i wasnt part of the problem. If you know what reading is, you would see where i admit i was part of it. Takes 2 to tango
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 11:24 PM
1

You can only do anything about what you see was your end. All we can ever do is work on ourselves to be better than the day before. I own what i know was my end of the issues we had. Yes, it still burns me when i think of her reasons. I know the truth. But i cant fix her. Only my end.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:13 PM
1

Everyone else dont know what actually happened. Only 2 of you know the truth. All you can do is start over and take care of you and the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:09 PM
19

I was happily married. So were alot of guys. It seemed our wives wasnt. Thats how we ended up here.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 06:49 PM
3

Man, i get the darkness. Dont let it win. Breathe. Actually breathe. I dont have any experience with this part of a divorce. But i do with following thoughts down a dark path. Its never good.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 05:31 PM
1

Heres my honest opinion on it. Dont overthink it. Dont read into it. If conversations happen, leave it at that. Treat her as a friend. Nothing more nothing less. Its the easiest and only way to do it. She wants it on her terms. Make her feel like she is an option. She knows theres a safe space with you. She will flirt, make conversation. But only time is goin to tell on why she is doin it. Sit back and watch.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 08:09 AM
1

Im glad you didnt come out about mom cheating. When people do that with their kids, the kids see the attitude go rotten and it can effect them long term. We dont need that now days. Leave that one alone. Reassure them your there for them. That you are dad. Keep their trust. Maybe have a talk with their mom, yall discuss dicipline. Bein on the same page helps everyone involved.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 07:44 AM
1

From my experience, livin with your stbx, is very hard. Esp when its actually fresh. We tried it. More arguments than i wanted. We got lucky because her mom let her live in their old home. When she moved out, we actually only talked when it involved our pets(only kids we had). 2 yrs later, we cohabitate. Are better with each other. Not together, but back to bein friends. And its easier to save my money. By the sounds of what you are saying, you havent done what you need. Financially, its a wise …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 07:29 AM
1

Just continue working on makin the best possible version of you. It will be her call if she wants back. But thats the least of your worries.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:21 PM
2

And communication is cited to be the biggest contributor.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 09:41 PM
5

I would say poor communication and the belief that there is always somethin greener around the corner with social media. Communication, well, we know how that happens. Get too comfortable. Quit actually talking and fixing the marriage. Social media opens avenues never before seen in society. Someone slides in a persons dms. Sales a great sales pitch. And boom. Happiness is achievable else where. I have seen a good bit of mariages fall prey to both these issues. Theres other issues yes, but i bel…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 09:39 PM
1

Atleast you acknowledge where you went wrong. Goin aagainst your standards. Now, you have to just learn and move on. Everyone screws up and makes mistakes. We just have to learn and grow
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 11:55 AM
1

Its gonna be 1 helluva rollercoaster for a while. It is gonna depend on you, how you handle things, on how it will take you. Dont alienate on those quiet nights.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:44 AM
4

Your not gonna get straight answers. If she brings up stuff you can easily debunk, then she is projecting. But at this stage, it may not be worth it. Give it time. It took me 2 years fo get an answer and it was somewhat correct but still some made up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 02:56 AM
3

Ive been there. I had a little angel in my dog. She actually stopped me while i had the gun positioned right. That night i cried harder than i ever had. After that, i caught myself gettin drunk a good bit, until i came to my senses. If i stayed on that road, i would have never acomplished anything else. I say this to let you know that it does get easier. Its a bumpy as road. There will be good days and bad days. Just have to make it second by second on the bad ones. Keep fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:03 PM
1

Attorneys ok or not, dont take the chance. Lawyers care about lawyers. Thats it. He can say 1 thing, but her lawyer is goin to go for your jugular. Hold off on any purchase til its done.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 03:28 PM
1

I told my ex when we got together and engaged, if she ever wanfed a divorce, she was to pay for it. Guess what, 20 yrs later, i held her to it. I may be an asshole, but i keep my word. The one who wants a divorcce should be the one paying. If its both, split it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 02:14 PM
2

For me, dealing with any extra demons it adds. But on a different note i havent figured out yet, is i save alot more money. Same bills bymyself. Only 1 income compared to 2.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:36 AM
1

Its gonna depend age bracket and the women themselves. Around 45 and up, the field does narrow.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 07:12 PM
7

So what your tellin him is to stay off the apps🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 07:09 PM
3

I had to do the same after a 20yr marriage. It sux royally. What really help me was when she moved out and we went to almost 0 contact. After couple of years, we do better now and im not expecting anything past friendship.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 07:47 PM
10

I suggest, for your personal health, block her on any social media. This will keep you from self sabotage to yourself. You can only control you. So do what is goin to be best for you. I did the same thing. Bad for mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 08:06 AM
2

There is a possibility. But she has to admit she screwed up. By the sounds of it, that aint gonna happen. So, let her learn the hard long way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 02:44 AM
2

Honestly, give her what she wants. She wants to go have her flings, act an idiot, let her. Keep your peace. Dont take any chances. She can ruin your career and life if she catches traction on any claim. Reason shes actin a fool, well, she has to justify her actions. Makin you the bad guy takes the eyes off her. It all boils down to accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 02:18 AM
1

Never said it was easy. This is the sucky part of love noone talks about. But you keep goin.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 10:13 PM
1

Post started 2 days ago. This last was done 23 hrs ago. Victory. You made it that far. Keep goin. Minute by minite
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 06:29 PM
3

AI is the same as everything else. Code was written with an agenda. 1 way or the other.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 01:56 PM
4

With men and women, both gettin addicted to the validations from strangers, it has alot to do with it. It may not be the complete cause, but it gives the false narrative that the grass is always greener. All it takes is a little feelin of lonliness, then the ball gets rolling. Before social media, meeting random strangers was a pain in the ass. Now, they are just a dm away. Guys were flirting and hitting on my ex way before social media took off, after, i know it was worse. I am not sayin i didn…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 01:54 PM
2

I quit trying to date for similar reason. But it was becausei believed my ex was to be all of my future. I still love her with all my heart. Which is why it would not be fair to anyone after until i can control it. So i am biding my time. Trying to let that love go. Maybe one day i will be ready.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 10:30 AM
3

I agree, it has been the biggest contributer. When people feel a little vulnerable, searching for validation, or just lost, they allow themselves to be seduced by the possibilities. They allow others into their dm's, their minds, hearts. Honestly, i believe social media has been the doom of life as it was meant to be.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:03 AM
2

It could be a comfortability thing. With high stress involved durning divorce, she may not be able to see too far off what was normal.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 08:21 AM
3

You have to remember, and this is the disconnect my ex had. The one who decides to move foward to divorce, has made their decision. They have had time to sett for it. The one blindsided, well, they just now realize vision of the future has just shifted. To them, the death of a life they seen, just happened. That is a whole different processing that a mind has to accept. Give her time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 07:52 AM
2

Take the divorce decree to the county office. They should be able to transfer deed to your name only. Had to do that with my motorcycle in my 1st divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 07:27 PM
2

There are. You just have to see them that way. Some days, waking on this side of the dirt is the victory
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 12:01 AM
2

Right now, in this moment. Celebrate any small victory. Making it thru the day. Making it to the next minute. These are battles noone sees. The are major battles that can take all you have to accomplish it. Any free time you get, just breathe.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 05:21 PM
4

2 to 3 months max. No kids and we split everything right out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 07:46 PM
1

Minus the kids, this almost hits home. Not sure if my ex is bipolar, but wouldnt surprise me. Best i can say, its goin to be a long road. Because you feel like your loosing a wife and best friend. Does she go to a dr? Is she on meds? Dm me if ya need to talk
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 12:32 PM
7

If you are their father, then stay in their lives. Boys really do need a mans influence in their lives. A father/dad shows up for their kids. Reguardless what goes on with parents. I raised 3 kids my 1st ex had. The biggest praise i ever felt was the oldest, who i believed didnt like me, told me that i am the reason he became the man he is today.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 09:00 AM
1

If you really want to work/fight for your marriage, continue showing up where she needs/wants you. She will show you in actions where she is.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:55 AM
2

After my ex moved out, the dogs were the main reason we talked for a long time. These were our kids. Never had any human ones. For a little while, it was our only civil communication. You know your ex better than anyone. How she is when it comes to animals. Not how she is when it comes to bein around you durning this stressful time. On this subject, i recommend thinking rationally. Not emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 08:27 AM
1

Take your time. Grieve the life you lost. Its normal. Do things for yourself. DONT use dating apps to set the tone for self reflection. Locate local groups that fit your hobbies or interest. Get out and just meet people. Worse thing you can do is get stuck in your head. Dont go in lookin for dates. Just go in lookin for interactions. Nothing more. Give it time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:54 AM
2

Could be that your marriage now has just hit a routine. Same ol same ol. Everyday life can take its toll. Little stresses make the mind wonder. Take your wife out on a good date. Plan the date, surprise her. Give her a romantic night. Yes, it sounds like it is all for her, but its also for you. Rediscover what drew you to her. See if that helps your thought process.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 08:42 AM
3

Be there for the kids. Dont entertain an idea of getting back together. Treat her as a friend. Im not sayin that to be an ass. Im sayin that from experience. Its the only healthy way your gonna handle it. You have to heal yourself and falling for the flirting, thinking there might be a chance, is just goin to hurt you and can make it to where you wont be around the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:01 AM
5

I wish i had a great answer. I cant say quit talking. Im guilty as well. But you do have to quit expecting things to change. If you keep contact, remember, only a friend. Dont look past that. Go in without expectations beyond that. If you cannot do that, you are just goin to make yourself spiral really bad and thats never good for mental health. This is somethin i had to learn on my own. And finding someone who has any experience is really hard to do. So i just figure it out day to day.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 01:14 PM
2

She may be havin all kinds of conflicting shit goin on with her. You do have to watch out for your mental health. Just have to worry about you and your kid(s). Dont think too far past that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 01:06 PM
5

Let others believe what they want to believe. People need villians in their life to make their actioms seem plausible. Ride with it. You know the truth. Thats all that matters. Unless it effects your job or way of life, dont worry about it. If others believe it, then do you need them in your life? I would hope not. I was probably talked about from my ex. I know 1 of her friends kept givin me eat shit looks, but i didnt say anything. Anyone who believed her, well, i dont need them in my life or p…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 12:56 PM
1

If a lawyer gets involved, count on a long road and they will try to talk her into all she can get and then some. If yall really want the marriage to maybe last, do therapy. It may help. But sounds like you missed the ship. I did the same and didnt pay attention to her not bein completely happy. Luckily we made the divorce easy. You have to decide on whats most important and see where yall can go from there
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 11:39 PM
2

What i did, was anything in my half the house was packed and sent to her. Any wedding pics or pics of her were put in there as well. Just start doin things for you. Take a trip. Get out in nature. Feel free to reach out. You are not alone goin thru this. Alot of us have been there.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 11:06 PM
1

Reach out. Not sure what i can do. But i can listen. Maybe offer a little advice
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 11:16 AM
2

Theres alot to unpack here. 1st off, keep fixing you. Never give up, no matter the obstacle. Do it to prove to yourself that you never want to be that person again. Get your complete confidence in yourself back. When it comes to her, its hard to blame her for how she responded. Yes we can go down the road of violations of vows, but we have to look at reasoning. She was put in a position she never wanted. So she had to do what was right for her. Its good to see that you are aware and owning where…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 09:45 AM
3

Questions you need to ask yourself. 1) is she still the one that you fell in love with. 2) is your family still everything to you 3) is this woman, marriage, family, worth trying for. Long marriages can become complacent. Life happens, things get a routine. Before you realize it, years just go by. Good marriages can die because we forget to communicate. Take each other for granted. Forget to actually date the one we married. If you believe yall still have a chance, they are the one you want in t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 08:41 AM
1

I would have to agree with the other post. If you are doin it out of revenge, then dont. Take a month or so. Revisit the thought then.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:32 AM
4

Bein she was sendin nudes to him while he was married, they ruined it. Not you. Your just watchin out for some innocent lady.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:06 AM
3

Worry about fixing yourself. You are the biggest worry for you. Everything will come together later. But right now, your health and betterment is your priority.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 04:48 AM
3

Roll the dice. Thats the best i can come up with. After a long time, women do go thru changes noone has figured out. Some do ok, some not so much. Just remember at the end of the day, yall need to communicate. Never take each other for granted.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 05:40 PM
1

They will always be in your memories. There will be alot thats gonna remind you of those little moments. If they are good, cherish them. But make new ones. It is a long healing process.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 09:14 AM
1

They will be. But be persistant. It gets better. I swear. After you make it thru hell, it does look different.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 10:04 PM
1

This day and age, dont worry how society percieves you. This society is so screwed up that no matter what you do, as a man, your wrong.so accept what happened, happened. Move foward with your life. Hell with everyones opinions and thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 04:22 PM
7

You are in a place alot of us men have been. Its a long dark road. But giving up isnt the answer. Esp if kids are involved. Take a breathe. Go for a vacation. Even if its just a short trip. See the beauty of the world. Get out of your head. The answer it sounds like your proposing is only hard on the ones who are left. Esp when you have kids. Their veiw of everything will change.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 03:47 PM
1

Had very similar after 20 yrs. Was dealing with the same feelings and emotions. Those will subside eventually. These are traits that are not bad. Its honestly in your head. Just have to fix you. The late nights are the hardest. Those nights of spiraling. Its a hard and long process. But it will be worth it. Do things for you. Take a vacation. It is like going for a long walk. If you focus on the long distance, it will wear you down. If you focus on a couple steps ahead, you will get further down…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 11:08 AM
2

I am kind of in the same area you are. I wasnt "abusive" but i acknowledge i did screw up. My ex, has acknowledged where she screwed up. We both agree with the other, and understood it. Took a while, but we do have a great friendship. Built back to the best friends we were before we married. Difference between us and alot of divorcees, is we never hated each other.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:05 AM
1

2 steps foward, 10 steps back. I went through a similar deal. But i forced the issue of not following my heart. I cut ties unless it dealt with our animals. For your sanity, make it happen on working on you. Force a no contact. If you see her, be polite, but keep your heart where it belongs, in your chest. Your not the 1st, and definitely wont be the last.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 09:55 AM
3

The blaming is her way to justify her actions. No guarantee if she cheated physically or not, unless there is proof. Cut contact unless it is about the dogs. Dont let her play games. She will make comments that will seem you should chase her. She is either gonna figure where she screwed up or not. Just make sure you acknowledge any accountability on your end. Fix it and move foward. Its what i had to do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 09:18 AM
2

Mine isnt to the extreme of ex bein a lesbian, but we split and remained best friends. If ya want, shoot me a message. Maybe i can help. It does pose a weird dynamic for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 03:53 PM
3

Never go to someone who has never gone thru it. They honestly never understand. Time/space and any other thing always depends the person. The stress that comes with it is completely exhausting. Then the after effects of it all comes crashin in. Its hard even if your the one who intiated it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 07:17 AM
1

Honestly, if she isnt willin to get help for the gamblin, and gettin the spendin under control, you will stay stressed. Until that happens, you will remain at the point of not succeeding. But you need to help her the whole way if she decides to go for it. Communication is goin to be the key. Sit her down and have a deep, real talk. Start there and see what transpires from there.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 08:10 PM
4

Meet the coaches wife. Get to know her and bag her. Alls fair in love and war. But seriously, wait to see that check. Make sure amount is in writing with in the decree. Then spill the beans.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:45 PM
5

I have been right there. I had to learn to grieve the loss of a life i had planned. She was my everything. My love, and still my love. But i am not hoping for her to come back. I am working on me. Do things for yourself. Just little things. Start there. Its a long road. I always said its 2 steps foward, 10 steps back. But those little things that dont ammount to much, will make a difference a little later. Just keep striving to move foward. As hard as it is, just keep on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 08:48 AM
6

She was done long ago. Now you have to figire how long itll take for you. Her processing has been done. You have yours to deal with. Try to focus on you best you can. Its hard to do, but ya have to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 12:45 PM
9

Just keep talkin to em. Maybe meet with the sister. Go out. What ya got to lose
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 10:39 PM
6

Like we always said growin up, no matter how hot she is, she was someones headache
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 08:37 PM
2

This is pretty much on point. Its sad to say but its got truth to it. Its not what anyone wants to hear, but it is something you need to hear. With that said, give it time. Do something for you. It will feel ackward. But do it anyways. Ive been single for 4 yrs. Im still figuring it out as i go. The few women i have met, are only looking out for themselves. I am trying to get me in a better place. Those same thoughts and feelings still creep in, on those silent nights. I still decide to continue…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 10:03 AM
2

Thats exactly what happened with me. I was the blame. I shoulda paid attention is what i heard. But when i asked, i got nothin. 2 yrs later, i blew up on her, she got all her points thrown back at her to a point where she couldnt blame me. The truth set me free. And the best part was, she didnt even try to deny it. She knew i called out her bs. Since then, we been alot better at bein friends again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:21 AM
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