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mrk177 Archive

View 5 posts and 193 comments by mrk177 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

You gotta love you’re self first before you can expect anyone else to love you. Through this process you will find that unlovable title you put on yourself will soon dissipate. I would start by dropping online dating. There’s nothing good that comes from online dating. There’s very few that find a true connection. Do things for yourself, treat yourself with kindness and give yourself a break. Find peace in being single. Doing these things for myself brought on a whole new perspective to my situa…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 07:00 PM
6

Love this book, it definitely helped me through some rough times and gave me understanding where I missing it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:23 PM
1

This is a group for men. There’s plenty of groups dedicated for women to reach out. 90% of women initiate the divorce. That should give you all the info you need to move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:43 PM
7

I would look into therapy; my daughter at the time was the same age as your son. She had similar behavior towards her mom but was fine with me. - The therapist helped her work through a lot of anger and resentment. It was worth it…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 03:31 PM
5

My man. The writing has been on the walls for years. You know the answer and what you need to do. I promise once you are released from all this drama your life will be significantly easier. The process will be hard but worth it. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:37 PM
0

Are you taking into consideration any emotion baggage she might be bringing into the relationship? To me it’s a red flag that she is dating before even being divorced. Divorce was an emotional roller coaster for me, I didn’t even think about dating during the divorce process. Good luck. I personally would pass it’s just too soon for her in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 09:25 PM
2

Therapy was helpful for me and I understand it’s not for everyone. But it gives you an outlet to express how you feel, talk through the bull shit and most importantly it gives you a chance to vent without weighing down your friends and family which can isolate you from those people because they don’t want to hear the stories anymore. I’m right there with you in regards to dating. I did some right after divorce and came to the conclusion that I wasn’t ready. I took some time and got back out ther…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:46 PM
4

I can relate to a lot you said here. Especially feeling stressed for the wedding day, I didn’t sleep the week leading to the divorce and felt like an accessory rather than a willing participant. The difference about our stories is I have kids so I still have to be involved with this woman where you are free from yours good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 09:51 AM
4

Dating apps are atrocious. I tried for 6 months or so. I would rather be single for the rest of my life then go through the dating app process again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 07:15 PM
6

What’s done in the dark always comes to light. I hope you knowing for sure now helps you move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:49 PM
9

I can relate I feel like I go this once a year with my ex. We get together with the kids and take them to an amusement park together. Our kids absolutely love it. We get a long well and spend the day together. It’s a good time for all four of us. It shows me what could have been. I’m sure to the outside world we look like the perfect happy family but in fact it’s one day a year. After this fun day we go back to our regular schedule. I tell you I have all the feelings you described. Although my s…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 05:52 PM
5

Dude you can still make this work. Go after her. I’m surprised to be saying this but people do deserve second chances. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 02:32 PM
7

It fucking sucks, it’s hard. When you have a life you built with someone comes crumbling down the thought of rebuilding seems like an impossible or daunting task. It’s been 3 years for me and I find myself just livid because we get a long so well now. It’s like why couldn’t we make this happen when we were together. I think it’s important to embrace the shitty moments, ugly cry it out, feel sad, feel depressed or whatever feelings you have. It’s the best way for those emotions to run their cours…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 01:51 PM
2

I think an idealistic version of her lives in your head that you can’t seem to shake. This woman has hurt you more throughout your relationship than she has ever showed you love and compassion. Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome, maybe it’s a lack of moving on but it’s time to move on. I hope you find the peace you need to let her go and move on with your life. It’s not easy but it will free you to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 01:40 PM
1

Gotcha, thanks for that. Won’t be wasting anymore time on this post.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 04:56 PM
2

You feel all this after two weeks and you’re ready to get married after this short period of time? It’s even worse you haven’t even met her in person yet. It’s your life so do what you want but I think you’re making a huge mistake.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 04:23 PM
2

I would say the same. Or she has a solid prospect that is currently trying to get into her pants.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 05:21 PM
3

How long have you been seen each other? Faith and love hell of a mixture.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 08:31 PM
7

The silent treatment. Sometimes I knew why I was getting the silent treatment, most the time I had no idea what I did. Most times it was 1-3 days. I had to apologize for her to start talking to me again, a lot of the time I had no idea what I was apologizing for. The longest was two weeks of silence, I stuck to my guns and refused to be the person that apologized. I knew why she was mad and it was all on her. At the end of the two weeks is when she asked for a divorce. Don’t miss that shit at al…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 09:36 PM
2

Yes I am. I’m so much happier now than when I was married. I’m a better father, I can do my job more effectively. I can spend more time on my hobbies and I don’t always feel stressed out. We coparent so we’re still in one another’s life and we get along extremely well. She also consistently reminds me why I’m better off divorced. Right after divorce I felt this need to find a partner, soul mate, someone to grow old with. I’ve become content with finding happiness with in myself and it seems to b…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 11:11 PM
6

Early 40s been divorced 3 years now. Initially had strong connection with my wife the connection was lost after we had kids. That spark never returned. We had deep seated issues that ultimately led to our divorce. For you I would try counseling or some common hobbies/activities. Maybe a vacation to get a break from day to day. Day to day leaving leads boredom and taking one another for granted. Dating is fucking atrocious out there, especially online dating at our age. I have gone on tons of dat…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:52 PM
1

Small gestures go along way.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:42 PM
1

She had a vision of what her life would look like as a mother, wife and career path. She wanted more than she had at that point in her life and I couldn’t give that to her…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:35 AM
5

Ex-Wife wanted divorce and said she didn’t want to work on our marriage anymore. That was enough for me to hear to accept her decision. I didn’t fight for her or convince her to stay. I struggled with the reason for a while since that really wasn’t given. Over time I learned to accept the fact she was miserable and would have made me miserable as a result. In my opinion some people have more integrity to ask for an out rather than create an out like cheating. For me personally I am glad she aske…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:46 PM
4

My ex brought it up. She got it appraised and we split the cash 50/50. I appreciated the gesture.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 07:14 PM
4

This was my first thought when I read the title. What the fuck can a woman understand about what a divorced man goes through.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 02:10 PM
11

You have your whole life ahead of you. Divorced with two kids at 40 years old. Dating at this age is a fucking swamp to say the least. I often think how my life would be if I got out early. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 01:05 AM
4

I think you did the right thing. She’s obviously not making good decisions right now. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 02:40 AM
4

The schedule depends on what you guys agree too, so it depends on what you work out. For me 50/50 means I have my kids half the week and she has the kids the other half. My days are Thursday - Saturday. She has them Sunday - Tuesday. Wednesday we each take a kid for 1x1 on time. It works well for us and the kids. I work full time and have a pretty demanding job and I still make it work. I always like to remember when I look back at what’s important I never say to myself “oh I’m glad I worked tha…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:50 PM
6

Like most cheaters she probably feels bad that she got caught.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 12:23 AM
3

Talk to a therapist, they should provide some tools that will help. Accepting that you can’t control others actions and only how you respond and deal with the situation helps me. Another thing is writing. I write all my raw feelings emotions out on paper. The way I look at it is I get it out on paper and that’s where those emotions now reside, not in my head but on that paper. Just a couple things that helps me move past situations. I hate the idea of people living in my head rent free. Good luc…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 02:42 PM
8

I was exhausted by the time she asked for the divorce, so I just said yes. I didn’t fight her at all. I felt like I had already given 100% leading up to that point. Marriage counseling, multiple marriage books, compromises on top of compromises. It was never enough she always wanted that little extra. The way she approached me was everything I needed to hear to give up. She said I don’t want to work on our marriage anymore. That’s all I needed to hear. If she’s not willing to work on this anymor…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 02:07 PM
3

Yeah both my brothers encouraged this. Their line of thinking is that helps you understand that there more fish in the sea. I did this for a small stint. I quickly felt the emptiness involved in that activity but it was fun while it lasted. I hate online dating and dating in general after being divorced. All of it feels weird. I’m content with being single if I happen to me someone I’m for it but I won’t make the extra effort anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 05:01 PM
1

That’s a rough situation to be in. Hang in there. My ex lived with me for two months once the divorce was final due to the housing market at the times. It was hard but the difference was that we both agreed to not get involved with someone else till she moved out. I couldn’t imagine dealing with the thoughts that she is with someone else well sti under the same roof. I would set a timeline to her moving out? If she is truly getting her situation together why does she need to date? Seems counter …
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 11:23 AM
11

Get a lawyer if you don’t already have one and talk to him. No good will come out of talking to anyone on her side. You might not get the answers you’re looking for but at the same time you won’t make your situation worse.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 11:03 AM
7

Dude I feel the same way. I’m coming up on 3 years myself. I dated a lot year one but really wasn’t ready. Didn’t meet anyone that truly gave me the butterflies. Year two I dated a woman for 6 months, we really didn’t see each other much due to conflicting schedules. She was cool and I liked her but she didn’t tick all the boxes and didn’t excite me much. I haven’t dated much since and really don’t feel up to it. I get lonely from time to time but that dissipates as soon as I start thinking abou…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 08:54 PM
6

Hang in there. Good job on being sober. Worse time to drink is after divorce. Check out this book called no more nice guy, it will help you move past your relationship with your ex. In regard to the loneliness; get a dog. They are super loyal and won’t back stab you. They will drain your pocket a bit but not as much as a woman does. Another thing that helped me a lot was working out and eating healthy. Good luck, it’s hard now but gets easier over time. In a big way you have the freedom to live …
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:55 AM
9

Trashy that she would bring him to your guys house. Just goes to show her character and the level of respect she has for you. I hope you have a speedy divorce, good job showing restraint.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 12:54 AM
3

This was funny as fuck to read. Stay up brother. Wrap that tool, don’t be getting caught up with these pump and dumps. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 12:20 AM
15

Good luck man. You have a really good attitude towards it all. This is straight up criminal though. You always provided for her, she didn’t contribute much from the sounds of it and you still have to pay for her. Sorry man this sucks. My marriage was as frustrating but at least she stayed out of my pockets. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 08:20 PM
11

When somebody provides everything one needs, they start realize what’s missing with in themself. That’s a hole you can never fill. Good luck brother, it’s time to do for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 10:34 AM
2

It was brought up towards the end but more of a threat or a way of saying one or the other was at their wits end. The day she brought up the conversation we talked for maybe an hour before moving forward. For me the conversation was over as soon as she said I don’t want to work on our marriage anymore. Once someone gives up on me or the relationship I’m in with them I disconnect.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:44 PM
20

The sex was good. She was good at handling the finances and organizing our paper work. Outside of that nothing is missed. Women I’ve dated after divorce have brought little to nothing to the table other than sex.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 04:23 PM
5

As others suggested get a dog. I could have wrote this exact post a year ago. I’m 40, was married for 11, we were together for 15. We have two kids together. I’ve been divorced for 2.5 years. Man I felt the same way. Initially I took up activities like learning how to grow cannabis. Activities can get expensive but in some cases very rewarding. I ended up going the home gym route because it was easier cause I work from home as well. I would avoid dating apps at all cost if you can. It can be fun…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 09:12 AM
12

Why do you care?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 01:43 AM
7

Similar to my situation. My ex told me she would never ask for a divorce even if I cheated on her. never believed her when she said it but was still caught off guard when she asked for one after 11 years of marriage. She wasn’t cold after like yours. She was more relieved and it felt like she made this decision a long time before she told me and was relieved to get it off her chest. The coldness started after we divorced and she moved out. I assume she had found someone else and closed off her h…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 08:15 PM
5

No kids? Based on what you described…. Run as fast as you can. This situation you described should of been sorted before marriage. Did you last minute get married in Vegas on a whim? This could of been avoided.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:51 PM
3

False sense of hope.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 11:46 AM
1

Loneliness will lead you right back where you are again. Embrace being single, nothing is forever. Live your best life for you, when your ready to get back out there, there will be plenty of woman and even more ways to source them. You’ve been locked up in an unhappy marriage do you. It’ll give you time to reflect on what you really want from a woman rather then rushing in because you don’t want to be single.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 02:38 AM
6

Hey man, check out this book called no mr nice guy. I think it will help you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:00 PM
3

Yes, it happens to men too, maybe more so. It happened to me recently. I went on a date with a woman. We are talking after dinner. She makes a comment that leads to me asking about her political affiliation which is the opposite of mine. What made it worse was she was a fanatic follower. We went back and forth for a minute. She asked if it was going to be a problem. It didn’t matter that night. The sex was amazing. We did that a couple more times till her true craziness came out and it out weigh…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 11:52 PM
7

I’m not going to bear the cross for all men but yes it’s possible for people to change. There’s a big difference between personality traits changing to some one suddenly deciding their racist. All I’m saying is homeboy must of been pipping you down good for that one to get past you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 11:20 PM
5

It’s really hard for me to take this post seriously. I just can’t understand how you didn’t pick up on his racism till after you had kids. If you chose to ignore it till now that’s on you. If he is some master manipulator and hid he was a racist till just now and he will be a determent to your kids you should do what’s best for the children through the courts. Your husband is at a disadvantage because he is a man but there’s a good chance he will get equal rights to see his kids and if that’s th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 10:59 PM
3

Been single over two years. I don’t feel that women have a lot to offer. Some don’t even try at all. I don’t care enough to care another relationship on my back. Prefer to be single. I feel like the only thing I’m missing out on is sex.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 08:46 PM
-1

Wrong sub. There’s plenty of subs for women to cry to. Some dude played you obviously. Move on with your life this post is so pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 03:27 PM
3

I’m happy for you man I truly am. You’re absolutely right about the gym, major confidence boost not to mention the health benefits. Do you see yourself getting married again? It might be too soon to say with the new woman but just in general. Do you see marriage in your cards? I ask because I don’t, I will never get married again regardless of how amazing the woman might be. I’ve dated quite a bit and have met some pretty awesome women. I just seem to get to a point where I begin to see behavior…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 01:25 AM
1

Read no more mr nice guy. The title sounds cheesy but really good stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 10:54 PM
4

Let it go brother. Not worth holding onto that energy. Move on and look to improve yourself. You’re free now and can do anything, why waste precious head space on someone who isn’t contributing to you in a positive way. Good luck man I wish you the best. I don’t do friends, if I didn’t have to speak to my ex I wouldn’t. (Kids)
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 10:17 AM
2

My brothers ex girl did this. She kept lying to avoid the test and finally came clean.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 07:35 PM
1

Man I hate having conversations about body count. It’s something I just don’t do. Whether it was in there past of not, it alters your outlook on how you see them. I would much rather deal with a women who’s worked it out rather then a woman who is curious. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 11:22 AM
5

Depending on the circumstances, then it’s a matter of whether she’s telling the truth. Her story probably meets in the middle of what actually happened. At that point it depends on her overall attitude and vibe. Ask a woman how she gets along with her co-workers. That should tell you what you need to know.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 01:27 PM
1

Sorry man this sucks. It sounds like she is trying to move on. If I were I would start getting your affairs in order. You could try to have that last stitch conversation to see if the relationship can be rescued through counseling, boundaries and working on whatever was the core issue. Not sure if told you about the date or if you found out in another way but it doesn’t look good either way. Good luck. DM me if you ever need anyone to talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:23 AM
4

I was in the same boat, didn’t keep up with friends, made her and the kids my everything. It’s been two years for me and I feel like I’ve made some solid connections. I have dinner regularly with friends. I won’t make the mistake of making a single person my everything again. It starts off rough, it sounds like you’re putting in the work so just keep it up. You’d be surprised how many people would care for you and miss you. It gets a little dark when you have a life altering situation but over t…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 11:13 PM
3

Sorry man I hope all works out for you in the end. At least you can say that you tried. I’ve been here myself my circumstances were a little different. We were arguing a lot, she was working all the time, she hadn’t said divorce yet but she was implying it. We agree to try marriage counseling. We had done it earlier in our marriage and it actually worked great. Not so much this second time. We argued the entire time. The therapist tried to take control but we ended up just talking over her. We h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:05 AM
2

It ain’t worth it and can possibly back fire. You will regret it later.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 09:19 PM
2

I don’t hate my ex at all. Honestly that is one of the biggest reasons we divorced. In marriage we were getting to the point of hatred, we have kids together and didn’t want to be a toxic couple/parents. I think if we continued down the path we were on I can see the hate seeping into every facet of our relationship. We get along well as co-parents better then we ever did when we were a couple. If we didn’t have kids I don’t think any hate would be there but I don’t see us being friends either.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:28 PM
16

What? She’s manipulating you. She doesn’t want you but she also doesn’t want anyone else to have you. You’re out why would you want back in especially with a person like this? If you don’t have kids together I wouldn’t even talk to her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 08:56 PM
2

I use Facebook strictly for dating otherwise I don’t do social media myself. I have tried most of them and I agree about different people. I had decent results with Bumble, I would I liked bumble the best.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 05:10 PM
6

Online dating. Get ready for some pain. Isn’t plenty of fish 70% bots? I’m surprised you actually met a real person. Good luck buddy I’ve been in this stage before it can get a little saucy. I’ve had better results on Facebook dating then all the apps combined. Same set of women but with quicker results.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 12:16 PM
2

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:34 AM
5

I was thinking about this topic just a couple days ago. I’ve been divorced two years now. We both did and said things we couldn’t take back that just damaged the relationship where you just can’t go back from. The silent treatments were just the worst. The last one was for three weeks before she asked for a divorce. I didn’t fight her at all especially when she said she wanted to be fair. I didn’t plead to keep her. My biggest fear was she was going to take me for everything when she said she ju…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:09 PM
3

What are the current divorce rates?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:22 AM
2

50/50. I’m not a well balanced person. Even I know when some one is trying to mind fuck me. You’re never 100% responsible for fucking something up. It’s easy to be lame but much harder to take responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:35 PM
1

Two daughters. For me I had to move past my overwhelming emotions for them. Suppressed for a while. When I decided I wanted to be better I sought therapy, took care of myself by eating well, working out, focusing on goals, relationships, hobbies. The heavy distress melted away once I sought purpose. I would recommend writing. Get the thoughts out of your head. Letting go is easier then holding on. Don’t hold on to ghosts.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 04:14 AM
2

I was in your exact situation two years ago. Although she didn’t talk to me for two weeks before she asked for a divorce. I knew it was coming. I felt it. I was able to let go because I felt I had done everything I could to be better and make it work. We triggered each other in ways that just couldn’t be unwound. We both tried. Peel off the ban-aid. She’s lawyered up so you need to change your mind set from hurt to protection. My ex at least wanted to settle things between us rather then the leg…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 03:49 AM
2

I took the easy way out and she gave me a extremely fair divorce. A part of me wanted to fight her but it was all ego and I would’ve lost everything and probably damaged my kids in the process.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 01:55 AM
8

Great job man! Keep it up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 03:51 PM
2

My ex continued to live with me for a couple months after we were officially divorced. Housing market was a mess. I was keeping the house and she was going to find a new house. We are amicable. During that period we continued to sleep together even though we were divorced. We essentially lived like a married couple but without the fighting. When she moved out it was hard. It hit me all at once and regretted not addressing the emotion earlier. It was nice having that time with her but made it har…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 09:21 PM
2

I felt exactly this at the beginning and for a while afterward. I embraced the different dynamic. I have a different relationship with them then their mother. They let me into parts of their life that they won’t go with mother and for me that’s what I needed to grow that bond and embrace the dynamic shift. It’s hard to adjust at first but over time it gets easier. Do your best to be there for the kids and they will tell what they need. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:46 PM
4

Let me ask you this: let’s say you run the background and you find something concerning what’s the next step?
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 04:59 PM
2

Good luck I wish you the best. I know it’s not easy especially at first.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:19 PM
3

The friend concept has never made sense to me. It’s like a consolation prize so the people involved don’t feel a total loss or time wasted. Personally I like to just move on. If I didn’t need to speak or see my ex I wouldn’t, but we have kids together. Even with that I wouldn’t consider us friends we’re basically co-parents to one another and that’s it. Initially I think it’s important to take some time apart just to get your mind and thoughts in order. If it makes sense after that to each their…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:01 PM
4

If you don’t have kids I would highly recommend walking away. She’s never going to full trust you, the boundaries will only get worse. Good job for trying to make it work.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 06:37 PM
–

Since you and your ex are amicable I think it might be a good idea that you two have the conversation with the kids together. That’s how me and my ex did it. We told the kids that it wasn’t there fault, adults grow apart and in those cases we can be better parents to them separately then together. Make sure they understand you both love them very much. It’s important that they understand that you guys will co-parent and work together to make sure they have everything they need. Lay out what the …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 12:46 AM
1

Get your rocks off, use it to move on it a very meaningless way. If you feel guilty it’s probably because you’re not over your STBXW. If that the case work on your self and don’t fuck with distractions.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 04:53 AM
1

You can get it reversed. I personally would never, but it is possible.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:48 AM
3

Just started listening to this book. Holy shit, I need to make some changes. Thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 08:24 PM
10

You’re on the right path and have the right frame of mind. I would recommend starting to work out if you don’t do so already. Get a good healthy diet down. Focus on you’re kiddos, get good routines down and provide stability. Hobbies are also important. Focus on your career and be the best at your job that you can be. I jumped into dating apps after divorce and it was a horrible idea. Crushed my self esteem and really didn’t do much for me. I came to the same realization you did. Good luck my fr…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 06:37 PM
7

Dude, NO. There’s a reason she has supervised limited custody. Times get lonely when you don’t have that person. If you reconcile I would bet money you’ll regret it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:38 PM
2

I actually proposed a situation like this to her before she moved out. I thought if we had our own space at least we could continue to enjoy the things we were good at it without the drama. She just wanted to be coparents and that was it. It was probably best to make a clean break.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 09:52 PM
12

We had a great sex life. 5-6 times a week. She lived with me for 2 months after the divorce was final because at that time the housing market was crazy and it was hard to find a house. Even after we were officially divorced we had sex every day till she moved out then it stopped. There were just certain things we couldn’t agree on, different perspectives, we triggered each other constantly. But the love and sexual attraction was always there.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 06:33 PM
1

Great subject. When I first met her she was floored I didn’t have much on the walls and no decorating. Always left that in her hands. Divorced two years, I’ve hung a clock and helped my daughters hang some paintings they made out side of that no. I hope all goes well man.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 10:20 PM
2

Sorry to hear man. I’ve been there myself. What helped was a little book called grey rock. It helped me keep my sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:45 PM
1

Fuck this. Smoking marijuana doesn’t make you a bad parent. Using it as an excuse to keep a parent from his kids makes you a shitty parent.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:36 PM
1

I got one right after the second child. It was the best decision I have ever made. Do it, I can’t tell you the peace of mind I have after that vasectomy. Good luck to you. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:31 PM
2

We actually tried for the second kid. I can say a lot of bad things about her but she wouldn’t do that. Don’t give in you will regret it. Things change once the kid is born. My ex made similar promises about duties which she didn’t actually follow through on when the child was born. What you described is exactly what happened. Then she wanted to go back to school I ended being daddy day care while she was “finding herself” she lost so much because of the kids. Don’t do it man. They always move t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:53 PM
4

Don’t have another kid. My ex threatened the same not as bad as your situation. We went to counseling, we had the second kid. Everything got so much harder. Six year later we got a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:18 PM
2

I tried this with my ex and we got along really well. It just didn’t feel right for anyone involved. The kids thought we were trying to work it out so it gave them a false sense of hope. We stopped doing it after the first meet up.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 09:16 PM
2

In my state it was based on income for child support. I made a little more and had to pay like $60 a month. She ended up getting a better job as we were going through the divorce making more. I told just to wash it so we neither of us pay child support. My ex sounds exactly like yours. The paper work wasn’t hard in my State, we were able to get through it in a couple hours. It’s literally walks you through the things you’ve already agreed upon. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 12:51 AM
1

She showed true colors and worse you work with her. I would exit that situation asap
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 06:14 PM
2

I have a good relationship with my ex. She occasionally asks me for favors similar to what you outlined like; work running over or having a company trip where she’ll need me to cover one of her days with the kids. I ask for her help as well and she always supports me too. She does ask for more favors then I do but it’s always been small and manageable, always related to the kids. I would say no if I felt she was asking for too much or I didn’t feel comfortable with what she was asking.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 10:15 PM
1

I have been divorced for two years now. I’ve taken breaks from dating, yes because it’s not easy and very frustrating. Online dating seems to be the most popular method. I’ve met a few women IRL but that is few and far between. I’ve told myself after a lot of bad dates that I was going to hang it up and just stay a lone. I do extremely well for myself during these times but limitless really starts to weigh in after time. When I do put myself back out there again I’ve been adopting the perspectiv…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 09:46 PM
1

I struggled with this topic for a while myself. My ex looked as good as the day we met. I had put on some weight and wasn’t looking as good. We were together for 15 years, married 11. So I had let myself go a bit. I hated the shallow feeling I felt regarding her looks and the fear that some other guy was going to snatch her up. These thoughts left me once I put focus on bettering myself rather then living in fear. At this point I’m in the best shape of my life and feel very confident about my lo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 08:13 PM
2

Good job man. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 03:34 AM
2

Dude you need to get over your ex. Your post comes off a little creepy. Not shaming but trying to provide a perspective. Focus on yourself. If you feel shes in great danger maybe tell someone in her life like a parent, sibling or friend and leave it at that. By her blocking you, she was communicating that she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore a hard pill to swallow when it’s out of the blue and a reason wasn’t given. Good luck, I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 08:25 PM
5

I would put heavy focus on improving yourself especially due to your last relationship. Find hobbies that interest you. Find healthy activities like working out and eating healthy. Make sure you love and trust yourself. I feel once you’ve worked on emotions from your previous relationship. Put yourself out there and see what happens. I would recommend avoiding dating apps. Very toxic environment and not a good place to find love.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 08:17 PM
3

Get a therapist. Journaling also helps.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 01:44 PM
1

You’re making a big mistake and you know it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 12:26 PM
2

Smart move. Thanks man I appreciate that. It’s been about two years now and I have worked through all the emotions and whatnot. I focused on self improvement and hobbies, I am in a much better place now. Good luck, if you ever need a person to vent too feel free to send me a message.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:40 PM
3

My ex lived with me for 4 months after the divorce. I kept the house, she moved. The housing market was a mess at that time and it was extremely hard to find a house. We actually got a long great for this time. The tension from our martial problems weren’t really an issue anymore. We still lived as a couple, intimate and all that. It was really hard when she found a house and moved. That’s when it really hit me and the process started for me. Good luck Man. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:20 PM
3

I agree too many red flags. I made a lot of mistakes after divorce for woman. This is one I would nope out of.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 01:16 AM
1

They exist but rare. I would avoid dating apps.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 12:59 AM
7

Protected.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/22 04:24 AM
5

Happy Birthday! This does not sound like a happy relationship. Give yourself a birthday present and look at what steps you can take to live a happier life. Good luck and Happy birthday!
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 07:43 PM
1

I would use this time to get your affairs in order.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 08:43 PM
1

That’s wild, I have a fantastic relationship my ex wife. We spend birthdays and holidays together. I would NEVER have another child especially if we are already divorced. Your life, your choices. That would be a hard pass for me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 07:22 PM
1

I have the same agreement with the ex and have two kids about the same age as you. I’ve been divorced for a year and half. I have met quite a few women. Due to the landscape of dating I would highly recommend giving it more time. 6 weeks just isn’t enough time. In regards to approach. Here’s a good article that will guide. https://parents-together.org/what-to-say-when-introducing-your-child-to-a-new-partner/
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 03:39 PM
2

Exactly this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 01:55 AM
3

Thanks for adding that. I was just listening to it and it was a lot. Starts straight off the bat with negging. I’m afraid to try your other recommendation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 09:35 PM
2

Thank you sir. I will be reading both those books.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:53 PM
1

Their on my phone. Out of sight out of my mind. The pictures around the house were all taken down and hidden. My daughter recently found one of these hidden pictures. It was a family Christmas picture. One we used for Christmas cards one year. It hurt for a minute. My daughter wanted to keep it in her room. I was okay with it without regret, which made me feel I’ve moved over on just a little more.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 03:19 AM
3

Hell yeah!!! Glad to hear to man. Good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 12:14 AM
2

The first one made me feel like a loser and never want that feeling again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 04:13 PM
2

So funny. Yes not all the time but I do get them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 09:39 PM
4

Ultimatums are deal breakers for me personally, especially one to this scale. She’s willing to gamble with your relationship, I think that says it all. Good luck on your decision.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 07:58 PM
3

It’s a constant roller coaster of emotions. It does get better. It helps to talk it out. I wish you the best feel free to send me a chat if you want to talk.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 06:53 PM
5

I know exactly what you are talking about. Being divorced a year and an introvert myself. I been trying to reconnect with old friends a lot have moved away or numbers no longer in service. Been out here trying to make new friends. If you need someone to talk to reach out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 01:28 PM
5

Yeah man I went down the path of drinking myself for a little. It does numb for a while but you got to deal with the pain at some point. Marijuana gives me introspection I needed to move on with my life. When I was drinking I couldn’t remember anything from the night before started getting a little scary. Hey man good luck, reach out if you ever need to talk.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 09:16 PM
8

I would recommend medical marijuana. It’s done wonders for me since my divorce. It helps me let go of the little things, it helps me sleep and eat consistently. I even started growing my own to cut down the expenses. The hobby in itself did wonders for my mental health. Good luck I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 08:45 PM
0

It was bliss to be honest. After we had the divorce conversation our issues as a married couple were dissipated and no longer mattered, for the most part and our relationship altered. We got a long very well at this point. We were officially divorced in May of 2021, she didn’t move till July of 2021, because of how bad the housing market was at that time. Every day till she moved was very pleasant, we even had sex every day till the day she moved out. The months following were very painful for m…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 09:27 PM
2

I divorced amicably but my circumstances were a lot different then you. 1. We both worked and made very close to the same amount of money. 2. We had separate bank accounts and a house account so splitting finances was a breeze. 3. She was open to keep the house or moving. I wanted to keep the house because I’d had a large investment in the home so I paid her out her equity, again easy. 4. Neither of us did anything to hurt the other person we just couldn’t make it work. We tried hard too. We hav…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 03:30 PM
3

If the relationship is in this condition at such a young age, run. You’re so young and don’t have any kids to make the situation complicated. I’m 38 with two kids. Dating mostly women who have kids is impossible to book a date. Women at my age has been through the ringer. Same with me at my age. Point is cut your loses and move on especially if your feeling this way now. Shit only gets complicated with more time, harder to leave. Don’t get me into how the dynamic changes once kids happen. Run.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 09:55 PM
2

You could install key logging software on her computer, which will get you passwords. If she has an iPhone and you know her passcode you could get into her stored passwords and go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 01:08 AM
4

100% agree. 15 years for me, not all of them were bad but not of them were good either.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 07:39 PM
4

First and foremost great question. I ponder this about other men, and my divorce went super smooth. I think that especially about men where the woman tries to destroy them during the divorce. For me personally nothing. I never see myself getting married again. The thought itself is anxiety inducing. I like to live and do what the fuck I want. I love how I’ve customized my home to my comfort. Dating feels like a chore and not really fun when it comes to online dating, although I have had a couple…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 07:27 PM
7

You sound like me a year ago. I was good with everything, we got along very well. I kept the house as well, she stayed two months after we were officially divorced because of the housing market and finding a house at that time was rough. But when she moved it hit me hard, I felt utterly depressed, I started drinking. I took all her pictures down because I couldn’t bare to look at her. When we spoke about the kids that was hard too. I finally came to the realization was just to embrace the pain. …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 04:39 PM
1

Don’t do it dude it will feel good for a minute but will live to regret it for months.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 10:37 PM
2

This one knows the way!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 01:21 AM
2

Good question. We always kept separate accounts but also had a house account. We would transfer money equally for the bills to the house account. So we just split those funds down the middle after the divorce. We kept our childcare account that is joint. We each transfer money to that account weekly, all the kids expenses are taken from there now that we are divorced. It works really well. I was a little worried about keeping an account open with her after the divorce but it’s worked so well and…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 04:25 PM
2

Thank you for your kind words!
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 04:11 PM
2

Interesting dynamic between the two of you. To me it sounds to me that there is unhashed business or feelings. Not trying to judge just help you move on brother. Personally when my kids hit 18 I really don’t see any reason for me and my ex to communicate. It’s in them to have their relationship with each of us. I’m going to fulfill a certain role and she will. I’ve been honest with my girls. They know I’m there for them. She answers questions I can’t but they still open up to me. I look at resol…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 12:11 AM
1

I throughly enjoyed your comment. I don’t feel the bitter pill. She’s about 15 minutes from me, I have dinner with her and the kids regularly, more so for the kids. We spend the kids birthdays jointly. We recently took the girls to an amusement park which went over extremely well. She could of fucked me up during divorce but didn’t. I think she will always capture a piece of me. I will say this if i didn’t have kids with her. I would see absolutely no reason to have her in my life for any reason…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 10:41 PM
3

Thank you. For sure, one thing is I enjoy getting to know new people. I have no interest in ever getting married again, I’m very upfront with any woman I’m seeing. Half my week I’m completely unavailable (while I have my kids.) I appreciate the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 10:04 PM
1

That’s actually a pretty good idea but like you said it will never happen. Personally I’ve paused my profile when I meet someone I want to get to know, just so I can concentrate on that person. Name mix up’s are not cool either.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 08:58 PM
7

Personally I tried churches, actually got some pretty good results. Netted a couple dates and met some nice women. I had some luck with meet up app, yes still technically online but you are meeting up with people who have common interests as you, not designed to be for dating. So it takes a lot of pressure off and you get to me with people who have your same common interests. Next door has dating sections. I’m always finding trivia nights and social type things locally for single people. So that…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 04:54 PM
6

Really sorry you are going through this. Your poor son. At least he has a solid dad like you. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 07:38 PM
1

Sounds frustrating. Good luck man if you need someone to vent to feel free to send me a message.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 08:42 PM
4

Is she doing this on purpose? You can get an automated garage door opener. That will close by itself once her car leaves the garage. They come with an app as well so you can check if the door is opened or closed and can close the door remotely if left open.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 08:00 PM
6

I’d hate myself if I didn’t say something. I had exactly your same thoughts. They became so loud the weeks leading up to the marriage that I couldn’t sleep at all. I was sick to my stomach and couldn’t sleep. No matter how I calculated it I felt the odds were stacked against me agreeing to this “union”. People fucking change. What they wanted in their early 20s seems like prison now, things were so much simpler when you were younger. Dude if you are feeling this way now, your sub-conscience is g…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 11:57 PM
3

That’s a rough situation. Sounds like you wife is infatuated with a life style that you can’t give her. I understand you wanting the arrangement but you have to think of that child and the impact it’s going to have on her or him. She needs a stable environment with at least one of her parents. I wish you the best you are being put in an incredible situation and there seems no right answer any way you dice it. Take care of yourself and your child. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 12:37 AM
2

I appreciate the sentiment. The girls initially took it pretty hard, over time and working with a child therapist, they are better off and happier as a result. When you have happy parents, you will have happy kids. We worked together to ensure the kids were the top priority through the divorce. We split custody 50/50. I get a break, she gets a break and the kids do as well. It’s not perfect situation but a better situation then when we were married. I hope everything works out for you, if you gu…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 10:04 PM
1

Yeah two girls.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 08:02 PM
2

I felt that way, for three years I tried rescuing our marriage doing everything I could to be a good husband and father. The harder I tried the worse she got in every way. Started using divorce as a motivational tool when I put my foot down. Dating sucks after marriage, it did for me anyway. Honestly I’m really enjoying being a lone. I do what I want when I want to do it. I don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings or possible reactions. I’m living the best life. I feel lonely from time …
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/22 06:50 PM
4

Hang in there man. It’s been a year for me and I feel the same way. Like someone else mentioned here making her my everything was the mistake. I miss her every day but I’m doing my best to make myself happy. I spent so much time trying to make her happy I didn’t even know how my own happiness looked like. Make YOU, your everything, do all the shit you want to do. I wish you the best. Reach out if you ever want someone to talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/22 09:19 PM
3

Divorced this year, bought her out around May. The house didn’t appraise for nearly as much as she would of liked which worked out great in my favor. I didn’t think I would be able to afford it and all the bills just on my salary but without her; my finances turned out to be more than enough. She spent money on a lot that I don’t. Really glad I made that decision because finding a house to buy or even an apartment to rent seems difficult. She ended up paying 40k over asking price on another plac…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 05:48 PM
3

Smart man. I’m actually going to steal that line about how marriage is contrary to true love. Sounds like you have a good life ahead of you my friend. Sorry your relationship ended but as you already know it was for the best. Best of luck dealing with the emotions, just feel them and go through the motions.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 01:10 AM
5

Hey man we all have our journey and some times mistakes are there for us to learn and sometimes the smart ones learn from others. I think what your talking about is obvious signs that you don’t want a life with this woman but because she so hot above your “league” that maybe you want to give her what she wants. We have all been there man, blinded by beauty, you ask yourself what she sees in you or why she is with you. Only she’s know that but her behavior and actions are revealing if you are pay…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 01:00 PM
10

I won’t get married again, period. Now that I’m dating I feel stronger about this more than ever. I make it very clear upfront that will not get married again, most woman agree although it was a deal breaker for a couple which is nice to flush those out anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 04:26 PM
4

Don’t numb your self with liquor it just makes it harder when you are sober which leads to more drinking. What you are going through sucks and you don’t deserve it, but guess who doesn’t deserve this shit above all else is your kids. Be the strong solid parent and when they get older they will remember that and love you for it. Be there for those kids, focus on improving yourself and do your best not to give that black hole any or your time and attention that you don’t need to. Stay strong broth…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 10:58 AM
2

Don’t drink, think of how you could make it special for the kids. You don’t have the kids for Halloween what can you do for yourself in this time? There’s plenty of time before and after to make Halloween special for those kids that don’t include wallowing in your self pity. The harder you get for them the better you will feel about yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/21 03:28 AM
2

Hang in there man, that’s why we hire lawyers to guide us through a process we are unfamiliar with. Stay strong man and don’t be so hard on yourself. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 11:17 AM
3

Sorry brother stay strong man. It gets better with time.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/21 12:35 AM
23

My divorce wasn’t even bad, we handled everything amicably without lawyers. She didn’t want a dime from me and have 50/50 custody with the kids. With all that said I would NEVER get married again. Getting the government involved in a relationship doesn’t make any sense to me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:37 PM
1

I appreciate your kind words. I’m glad my situation could relate to what you are are going through. I wish you the best. I give you extra credit my friend for being able to attain those “shared friends” as that was too painful for me. I tried but couldn’t do it when it came down to it. I appreciate the willingness to share your struggle to let me know that I’m not in it alone: to me that is healing with in itself and I applaud you..
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 03:38 AM
2

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Good luck to you my friend, I really hope you make it on top after it’s all said and done. Take care of yourself and focus on the long term picture. Speaking of meditation, it’s funny how our minds work. I find myself cycling the same thoughts of her over and over again. The memory I find myself really thinking about is the weeks leading up to our wedding. She lied to me about something stupid, I was having second thoughts and was really close to calling th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 03:27 AM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:59 PM
1

I will will definitely look into the work book. Thanks for the info. Sounds more along the lines of what I’m looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:55 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:52 PM
2

I’ll check it out tonight. Thanks for the suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:52 PM
2

Thanks I will give it another go, I used to do yoga and meditation a couple years back. I don’t have the challenges I used to, so that is a good idea. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:16 PM
1

Thank you. This is some really good advice that hits home. Especially the part about her having a lot more time to process than I have and this need to compete with her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 03:36 PM
20

Sounds like you met a shitty guy and your telling the rest of the men that are going through a divorce not to be shitty like this dude. We use this subreddit so us men can lean on one another, I’m not here to hear a woman complain how she got tangled up with a man kind of going through a divorce but not sure. I hope you have a nice life but I don’t think this is a place for your rant.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 12:55 AM
2

Thanks for posting this. It’s a good reminder. It’s been three weeks since she moved about 2 months since the divorce has has been final. She seems to be doing great, happier than I have seen in a long time. She showed me her new house last week it captures her essence in every way. She was giddy the entire time. To your point she’s a better mother than she ever was when we were together she is so engaging with the kids now to the point that the kids want to be with her more now. I remember when…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 01:41 PM
6

Good luck man. Marriage is hard and unnatural.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 07:31 PM
1

Good luck. It never seems like it will before from my current perspective. Glad it’s coming to an end for you .
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/21 12:35 AM
3

Young and thought it was the move forward. Wanted to stay with her. My question is who would ever get married after being married once. I don’t get people that have been married 2-3 times. What did you think was going to happen a second time?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 07:27 PM
6

Spitting straight facts
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 07:25 PM
3

Good on you, me and soon to be ex took the same approach. You can settle things amicably, still have love for the other person and know that together she is going to be happier without you. It hurts like hell but better to realize then make one another unhappy long term. Best wishes to the both of you. Nice to read this sort of message.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 01:17 AM
4

So true. You described my last relationship. Caught my pattern of behavior before it was already too late.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/21 01:38 PM
5

I think it’s all about boundaries. You naturally don’t trust her, don’t see her the same. You have to deal with her because of the kids. So it makes sense to be cordial. When women say let’s stay friends, I’ve always interpreted that as: “don’t be mad at me okay?” “I just want a life that doesn’t include you.” If kids weren’t involved staying a friend isn’t an option. Everyone makes their own choice of course but to me remaining friends doesn’t make a lot of sense. Set boundaries based upon what…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/21 10:57 PM
4

You’re awesome man. This is so helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 12:45 AM
3

Relationships are great, loving someone can be a life changing situation. Marriage is more of a legal matter than anything else, not to mention non-stop expense caused by marriage. People change over time, if the relationship runs it course than it’s time to end. If marriage is deal breaker for her, it’s a deal worth breaking if that means you lose her too.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 08:24 PM
6

I was just about to ask how you could remarry so soon after divorce. Now getting your sarcasm. Beautiful bike, I’m sure you guys make a wonderful couple.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 08:59 PM
1

Found out through title company that my divorce was accepted this past Friday. I know every state varies. We filed about 3 weeks ago.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 01:22 AM
1

Thank you. Just bought the book. Much appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 10:35 PM
2

This is really good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 09:54 PM
3

You know she is leaving you now that she knows she cannot manipulate you, right? You aren't useful to her anymore of you demand to be treated with respect and as an equal. This is all I have been thinking about since yesterday. Yes it's very clear that's what's going on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 09:36 PM
2

My therapist said the same thing about the two weeks of silence. She said it’s domestic abuse, my T sent a bunch of articles to read on the subject which I read over the weekend and it all adds up. Thanks again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 09:33 PM
3

She didn’t speak to me for two weeks, not days. It’s usually a couple days and she gets over herself. Honestly what you described is my life, so spot on it’s scary. The difference between this scenario and every other situation is that I actually held my ground, I didn’t fold to her wishes. I would always cave to her wishes regardless of what she was asking for. It terrifies me to tell the children. I feel for them the most. They both love her very much. I know they are better off, part of me li…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 09:14 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 08:56 PM
1

Why before she files?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 08:56 PM
2

Thank you, I appreciate your nice comments and feedback. Much appreciated on so many levels. I really don’t think she is having an affair but at this point I don’t know. I asked if there was someone else and she said never no, I believe her. Even if she is does it matter to prove it at this point? Will this help me for the divorce. I can easily gain access to any of her devices without a lot of effort but would rather not spy if I don’t have to. I have been indifferent towards after I fixed ever…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 08:49 PM
4

She grew up as an only child and never wanted for anything. I called her on the bluff last night, as you mentioned she was calm, I think she really wants a divorce and I do too. She doesn’t love me for me, she loves me for what I can do for her. I have always felt this way first time I have gone through the motions of setting and holding boundaries. Thanks for responding I guess I need to call some lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/21 08:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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