It's been a little over 3 years since divorce, I am the happiest I have ever been. As many of you know the path of divorce can be like a roller coaster ride. One day you are totally fine; living and loving life the next day you find your self stuck thinking what could have been if only you would done this and that different. These thoughts used to be very intrusive and overwhelming for me; putting a lot of blame on myself and yearning for the ex. I came to the conclusion it wasn't her that I was yearning for it was the memories, a snap shot of the good times. Memories can be deceiving, I wrote a little reminder poem for myself to put things into perspective. I thought I would share with you all, hopefully some of you find it helpful as you go through your own journey.

I’m holding on to something that once was,  

A flicker of light that’s long since dimmed,  

Not to you, not to the person you are,  

But to memories that time has trimmed.

I’ve built a story in my mind,  

A place where you still make sense,  

But reality pulls, reminds me hard—  

We were never meant to last, in the present tense.

I search for flaws in everyone else,  

Because yours are the ones I know by heart,  

But the truth is, I’m not holding on to you,  

I’m holding on to the part of me you played a part.

I’m in love with a memory that I’ve outgrown,  

A shadow cast by what used to be,  

In truth, you’re not who I seek at all,  

It’s the pieces of myself I’m trying to set free.

Why am I impressing ghosts of the past?  

When the future’s waiting with open hands?  

I thought I needed to hold on to you,  

But it’s myself I need to understand.

So let go, it’s time to let go,  

Of what was, and no longer is,  

I’m finding my way back to me—  

That’s where the real journey begins.