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mrprider Archive

View 12 posts and 140 comments by mrprider on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I think something is missing in the picture. Sure, if someone is 100% alpha there is no room left for beta qualities. However, is that ideal? Can a relationship survive based only on alpha qualities and zero beta qualities?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/17 10:05 PM
1

I would refrain from making any comparative statements. Everyone prefers different ways to think. If my way of thinking could help even one more man, my goal for this post is met. In hindsight, I should have added explicitly to post is that this is how I am managing my MRP journey. This is just 1 way to look at it. This is not absolute, and no way comprehensive. Everyone needs to find their own way and follow that.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/17 09:56 PM
1

It reads like a manual because this was my manual for myself. Rather than thinking in circles everyday, I had to streamline the decision making part and hence I put this for myself. Shared it here if anyone else likes to think in this way too. Some people like abstract ideas, some prefer numbers. To each his own. And yes, having been beta all my life, frame is the hardest thing for me to maintain. Lifting is easy. I am not out of the woods yet, and I am working on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/17 09:53 PM
1

Thanks guys. It took me much longer than others to actually understand and believe in redpill. I am nowhere close to where I want to be, but I know the path and am making progress.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/17 09:49 PM
1

True. I started off that 90 day plan as well. And the rigor of reading, questioning and implementing it helped make it clear. No point to serve it on a platter to someone who is not hungry.
/r/askMRP17/02/17 02:20 PM
1

Yes, combining everything into single comprehensive post. Will work on it this weekend.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:46 PM
2

Do you read alphabet everyday? Does a child learn and repeat alphabet everyday? Either you guys were natural alphas (sailors, right?) or had strong alpha figures around or just real smart on picking up. Rest of us faggots come here as career betas. Whatever structured reasoning we can find is helpful. Around 10-12 months ago, when I first arrived at MRP I could never even have understood these flowcharts/schematics. But, if these were available it would have helped me understand things much fast…
/r/askMRP17/02/17 01:43 PM
1

Yes, it is a bit of hyperbole to be able to get laid within 24 hours. The idea is that if you are that confident and hot, (and doing everything a good captain does), then just quit the marriage. Of course, one could quit early as well. I believe in the school of thought where you give in your best efforts before quitting and moving on.
/r/askMRP17/02/17 01:36 PM
1

If you are unhappy there are only two outcomes, Lift and improve or Divorce. If you were happy on your way to improve yourself you won't start this flowchart.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:32 PM
2

People are different. Some like to make a checklist of things important to them to ensure they are hitting all aspects. Some have a good memory. Having a checklist is useless if you dont use it wisely. The original checklist I posted does not have Frame which is the most important in RP journey. Added that after /u/drty_pr commented.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:31 PM
1

Yes, combining everything and adding words.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:28 PM
1

I will add these to main list, crediting you.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:27 PM
1

Excellent point! Compare to target, not to starting point, and keep chugging along.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:27 PM
1

Fully agree. See the additions by /u/drty_pr I will add those as well. I am combining this post with the flowchart and graph to make it one comprehensive post.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:26 PM
1

Hahaa! Yes, will add meat to the skeleton.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:24 PM
1

Agreed, these should be combined. Will do over the weekend.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 01:23 PM
1

I know! I thought I really outdid myself by creating this text monstrosity. Not that visual one is better by any means. Hahaa!
/r/askMRP16/02/17 06:05 AM
1

I have been quite slow in digesting the red pill as compared to reports I read here. But I am inching bit by bit. Thanks bro.
/r/askMRP16/02/17 06:04 AM
1

Might be incorrect application of LSS. I am a certified Master Black Belt at my company, and we have successfully used it for improving manufacturing efficiency. I know what you are talking about. People just hear the buzzword and try to superficially apply it. Just like we say here, you cannot sprinkle alpha. Similar.
/r/askMRP16/02/17 06:00 AM
1

I have barely come out of shell and accepted that responding to other women flirting is okay behavior. I still have long way to go before I having a girlfriend would be acceptable to myself. I do have friends that are female, but then that's a different thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/16 06:20 PM
1

Okay, will give it a go. And hit the bars for practice.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/16 06:00 PM
3

End of this month, it will be almost 7 months since I started looking for answers, 5 months since I arrived at MRP and 4 months since I started lifting religiously, and 1 in LDR. ** Shit I own: ** Fitness: After stalling on 5x5, switched to Texas method and plan to work it out for 12 weeks at minimum. Switched to keto diet, was bit challenging initially, but am doing better now. BF increased from ~15 to 17% with ~5lb gain in weight. I need to look carefully at diet to ensure I keep losing fat wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/16 11:23 PM
-1

Thanks, that is a good perspective. I have been at it for only 6 months so need to giver her some more time to catch up.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 12:31 AM
-2

This is my number one questions to answer these days. Haven't found a good way to assess it yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 12:29 AM
1

Thank you, I appreciate your advice. I understand the difference between MRP advice and save marriage advice here. However, past few weeks have pushed me out. In the sense that I am now enjoying living alone, and not look forward to weekends to meet wife. When with her, I am constantly wondering what value does she add to my life. And I am not sure if answer to that question is currently biased due to my anger, or it is indeed bleak truth. She is financially responsible, is passionate towards wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 09:20 PM
1

Good point. Other than all the beta qualities, here is what I add value in terms of alpha - I am getting fitter, she commented last weekend on my biceps getting definition; am stoic but pleasant company, not the clown of the group or comedian, but still crack enough jokes in social settings and am sought after in my circle of friends; I ride a Harley; I cannot dance at all but can enjoy good live music with basic foot movements; I plan almost all the activities in house and circle of friends, fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 04:56 PM
3

Revisited Rollow's writeup on GNO. And looking at the scenario now, it appears that I have 2 choices now. 1) I file for divorce now, 2) wait for her to slip up and then file for divorce. Cause no matter how I hamster myself, I cannot envision a happy future together. I do not want to wait for (2) but I am not sure if I am ready for (1). Need to think more and decide.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 12:49 AM
2

Thanks man. Definitely good to learn up new skill, texting, and it will be useful nevertheless.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 12:42 AM
3

I have no intention of cheating. To each his own.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 12:42 AM
1

Same state.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/16 12:40 AM
3

Either I am hopelessly in oneitis, or, I know that the really conservative upbringing and risk of social shame is enough for her to not cheat. Everything else she can justify to the world of facebook that it is just drinking, or partying.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 08:59 PM
2

Your comment is the one I have copied and saved on my phone notes. The moment I start feeling emotional towards her, I read that and kick myself to reality. And ask myself what actions is she showing that she loves me, and wants to be my wife. What behavior is she exhibiting that would be of a good wife/mother. I am not changing my plans for her, I am still working on improving myself. For the first time in life I am getting/noticing IOIs from women, and that was my validation seeking behavior I…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 08:49 PM
1

True. I started with the MAP for becoming a better person.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 08:24 PM
2

Guilty on both counts. I know LDRs are frowned upon, and I understand. It was this scenario vs we both moving there next year and she becomes housewife until she finds a job in new city. I chose this one and encouraged her to accept.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 08:23 PM
0

If I tell her to stay at home for one year and pine for me, I am 100% confident she will not cheat sexually. Emotionally, maybe. Drinking and partying, definitely. Tingles from other men, definitely. Tingles for me, uncertain.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/16 08:21 PM
1

Goal is to first grow stronger, then cut for aesthetics.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/16 02:06 AM
1

Yeah, life is difficult, accepting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 01:43 AM
1

I suffer from lizard brain :( Yeah, killing expectations (and covert contracts) has been the biggest change in past months, and I need to keep working on it to make it second nature.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 01:42 AM
1

Just getting antsy as not seeing gains on cutting diet. So wondering if I should bulk up for couple months, get stronger, then cut.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 01:41 AM
1

End of this month, it will be almost six months since I started looking for answers, 5 months since I arrived at MRP and 4 months since I started lifting religiously. ** Shit I own: ** Fitness: First time in my life I have been regular at anything! First 2 week's goal was to just get into the gym 3-4 times a week even if only for 30 mins of cardio. Next, started off with SL 5x5 and have been at it for 3+ months. Looking to switch to a different program in a month for bulking. I did miss 2 workou…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 11:38 AM
1

Scenario 2, and her actions being pre-emptive clarification? Something happened, and she is covering ground before the news reaches her husband and colleagues. Just speculating and completing the possible scenarios.
/r/askMRP18/07/16 07:16 AM
2

Tell me about it. I was the king of unsolicited advises that nobody took. Working actively to keep my mouth shut.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 06:59 AM
1

Thanks, yes I agree, it is important to cool her hamster down. Considered that as dread because it started only after her single friends started interacting.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/16 06:58 AM
1

I have all the more reasons to continue with lifting hard and bulk up.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 10:20 PM
1

Well, my lizard brain doesn't think on its feet much so I just STFU and smile/smirk. Those questions did help me once, in past couple months, when she asked how does her butt look in this dress? And I replied, staring hard at her butt, curvaciously sexy.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 10:18 PM
1

MRP guys pulled my head out of my arse, and gave me a nice dose of reality. I am in no position to set or enforce boundary yet and I have just started working on myself. Unwind a little, treat her like she is already nobody, and here I am.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 10:16 PM
1

Agreed. Need to be bit more thoughtful with planning. Lifting and approaching at coffee shops / meetup events has been most helpful so far, and I plan to double down on those.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 10:14 PM
2

Next time, arrange a massage for her at the hotel's spa and when you get to the check in desk tell her "I'll take care of all this, you go with this woman and have a massage to relax, our dinner reservations are for 8pm, come to the room after the massage to get dressed." That is a great idea. Thanks! And now that I look back, she follows my lead pretty much all the time when we travel. She might complain a bit through the travel, but seems to be fine overall.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/16 10:12 PM
1

Wow, that is a nice list of to-do's! Definitely looking to get a bigger car soon and take advantage of that. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 11:34 PM
3

Yes, I should have added that I wanted a vacation badly, to calm down and relax a bit. Everything on the itinerary was what I wanted to do, and I just had her tag along with me. I did consider if it was sending a wrong message, like rewarding the bad behavior. But I decided I want to relax and have fun first.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 10:00 PM
1

Agreed. On one hand, she is not attracted to me signals to me that I am still beta provider to her. On other hand, as I get IOI from other women, wives of my friends commenting openly on me getting fitter/better looking, I feel I am incompatible with her now. Anyhow, I will keep working my MAP and progress along levels of dread.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:37 PM
1

wife goggles Yes! That is exactly what has happened, and I think she doesn't realize it yet. act as if you were single I am still in the process of killing/accepting my ego - the set of 'princples' I have developed over years, about how I should lead my life, and specifically the part where I am totally devoted to my wife 100% and even looking at other women is sin. But, over past few months I am now convinced that is incorrect way.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:25 PM
1

That is indeed a good point. I have put starting family on hold for at least 5 years to help her go back to school and get started working. But, the more I think about it, she does not have much redeeming qualities for being a mother. She acts more like a teenager, but then that is what MRP says, wife is like the eldest teenager. I don't know what I am rambling anymore.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:21 PM
1

If there was an ex involved, I won't have had any confusion as to what to do next.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:16 PM
1

Yes, holding on for now. I will keep improving myself for now.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:15 PM
1

Dread is about fear of loosing you and all the wonderfulness that you provide. True that. However, the more I got busy with my interests, less time I spend with her, and less chance she has to see me interact with other women. Again, I need to get rid of the covert contract that I am doing all this to get her attention. Whatever I do, I need to do it for me and me alone.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:13 PM
1

Yep, that resonates. I am far from perfect in any sense, but I strive to be. At work, I run my org like a clockwork. At home, everything is executed as part of overall plan with contingencies built in. I need to focus more on game and meditation in my MAP.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:08 PM
1

Correct again. I share here so I can get unbiased opinions from people who went through similar struggle and mastered their lives. You all do help me distill down my thoughts to basics. I was not clear what I wanted, but now I know where I am headed.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:06 PM
1

Agreed, and this is what I plan on doing. Just keep moving forward without blinking about past.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:04 PM
1

I see a lot of reason for you to improve yourself so you don't repeat this pattern with the next woman (women). Shift your focus from her to YOU. Yes, I am gradually changing my focus all to myself. Only reason I am with her is I feel I have just begun my journey, and I want to give this marriage my best shot before moving on. Plus, this is the best training ground for me while I work on myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:02 PM
1

/u/bogeyd6 /u/stonepimpletilists and /u/over60_stupid_loner : You all are correct here. I am holding whole lot of covert contracts, and I am better off improving and practising on my wife - about whom I care less and less every passing day, than divorce and start out fresh. I am not totally over my oneitis yet, and emotionally I am still a mess. I have been career beta, and of late 70% of my friends complain I am withdrawing from them and not my usual old self. Just because I no longer put their…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:58 PM
1

I realize that I was still holding covert contracts. That I will do this and that, and as a result wife will take notice and change her thoughts on me. I need to follow my MAP just for myself, no other reason included.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:45 PM
1

Haha! An year ago I would agree with you, I saw more ribs than abs. It took hell lot of efforts to get ribs to disappear, and now another hell of diet control for getting abs to come out.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:44 PM
1

Outcome from that? She dumps the bottle into sink for now, but gets more bottles next weekend. Yes, I do realize I need to improve on my game. I lack the irrational confidence at homefront. I am trying to stand for myself and foolishly I got drawn into drawing a boundary I couldn't enforce, at least not at the present moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:43 PM
1

I agree on the definition of frame. And I did not have OI for it, more like butthurt reaction. But, I am tired of her saying she is incapable of keeping me happy and not doing anything about it. I try to lead her into different activities, but she does not follow. She just craves the party lifestyle of her younger single workmates. But she does not want to lose the stability that I provide in her life.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 04:19 AM
1

At this moment, I really don't know. As /u/over60_stupid_loner put it, I am not there yet. I don't know what I will do at the 'talk', but I will just continue to work on my MAP for now. Scenario 1 or 2, not nuking it yet. I need to improve first.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:56 AM
3

As a stand alone question? I see your point. But, put everything in perspective. She goes out drinking with her sister and her office mates every week, sometimes 2-3 times a week. This one stands out, as it was new town, she was flat out drunk at 4am.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:50 AM
5

Yes. I agree. When the time is right, I won't have to ask.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:48 AM
1

Yes, you both are correct. She craves the carefree lifestyle more than the one that I envision. I want to start family and she wants to party for now. I can just STFU and carry on for now. Until, I have improved my game and climbed further on dread.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:45 AM
2

My only issues with this GNO was that she was in a new town, out until 4am, and totally drunk. I know I am just starting to improve, and not at all ready for a main event.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:40 AM
1

I am not threatening to leave at all. This is all my internal dialogue. Should I give her the chance if she requests or just walk away. I don't know how I walked into this situation. Initially, I realized I never set hard boundaries and then expected her to follow. Then I learnt here that I should set boundaries clearly, but I think I set it from a weakpoint, lower SMV than her.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:36 AM
1

I know I don't generate any tingles in her. All my activities, be it weeklong motorcycling trips or trying out different brunch places do not interest her. Yes, I am indeed stern, boring and humorless and my game is weak. But I am working on it, though it is slow. No, I am not asking her to choose between her sister or me. She hangs out with her sister, and even goes drinking every couple of weeks but is back at our place or hers in time. I only ask to restrict drinking until early hours, in a n…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 03:32 AM
2

Yes and No. Yes, I set the boundary and she violated it, knowingly. And this won't be any different moving forward. Yes, it was an attempt to change her into a girl I want rather than who she is. But, she wasn't like this when we married. No, she does not know about divorce papers. There will be no ultimatum to change or anything. I will just hear her out what she has to say. (EDIT: Scenario 1) If she insists to continue this way, then I bring out the papers and leave. (EDIT: Scenario 2) However…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 11:57 PM
2

you have events where your woman's going to bitch and berate the shit out of you and you try feebly to pretend you have some semblance of spine and self worth. Hahaa, that would be awesome to watch now, isn't it? IDGAF to what she says. Her actions defied her words, that is all that matters. "Today I'm going to talk casually to 5 women." Yes, I aim to talk to 5 strangers at every meet up, at least 1-2 women. If you can internalize this attitude, you might have a shot at developing a personality …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 11:44 PM
3

Yes, the agreement part is what bothers me most. That is the sole reason I am just fed up and ready to nuke it. No, she does not contribute anything to betterment of my life as of today. And the way things are going, she is just an out of control teenager that I am unable to discipline.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 11:31 PM
5

Yes, her coworkers are all single. EDIT: single females, all. Grown apart both due to swallowing redpill and getting busier. Sex life had dropped to 1-2 times a month. Continues that way. I am around dread level 5-6, and totally agree it is too early to nuke it. But if I let her get away with breaking agreed-upon boundaries, on top being an unpleasant person to me as such, why should I care anymore? I still have bit of oneitis for her I guess, I am not leading my team the way how I should be, an…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 11:25 PM
0

I totally agree to what you are saying. My MAP is to be the energizing Don Juan before end of this year, and I am increasing my social outings and working towards it already. It is just that I have to encounter the main event before I have done everything to lead.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 10:31 PM
2

Ah yes. Feelz: Never forgotten. Actions & Help: Never remembered.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 08:32 PM
1

Oneitis. It can mess up a high value man in a pinch. You may say high value man only values himself by definition, but then we would be arguing over linguistics. A so called high value man leading in society, career and family can still catch a bad case of oneitis and end up blue pill overall.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 05:28 PM
3

Always remember, what you did in past is all forgotten by women. They live only in present and promise of future. Don't fool yourself that you gave her so much in past so she owes you something. Men and women are different. You just need to develop mental strength and stoicism, be the fun loving person, and a reliable oak. Easier said than done, though.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 03:32 PM
2

This. Marry a girl from similar socioeconomic background for best bet.
/r/askTRP21/06/16 04:40 PM
1

There is sometimes a disconnect between the savings goals between husband and wife. It appears she wants a break from all the academic load and changes at home (I assume MRP influence). Be firm and show her the plan for next 5-10 years and how much you need to save for that. Tell her we will have a low cost vacation this time to relax and do fun activities and a Disney vacation later when we are financially more comfortable.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/16 02:37 PM
1

I added pretty much everything I am remotely interested in. Even went to an Astrology talk once! It is very interesting to see perspectives of people from different spheres, and stages in life. Once you have that added, open up the (edit: meetup calendar)calendar and see what you can fit in your schedule. Let's say I have free time today 5-7pm, then I will just check the calendar and see if something interesting is going on in that timeslot, and join that. Weekend activities like hiking, biking,…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/16 05:46 PM
1

Yes, have been shot down on every plan so far. I just shrug and carry on to the planned activities. Will keep demanding and leading.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 05:04 AM
1

I have been thinking a lot about ego(s) since our last interaction on my previous post. I liked the definition of ego as the voice in my head, that is based on my past experiences and future goals. It tries to (over)protect me and (over)criticizes me when I slack. Gradually, I feel there is no need to kill the ego, and like you said it will be replaced by another one immediately. It is important to be conscious of this ego and its impact. And not let it interfere with your daily workings. Not to…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 11:18 PM
1

:) Hahaa. Thanks for fixing it! I did mean the same stance regarding commitment. But yeah, I agree I can be more social and definitely more flirty.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 09:41 PM
3

Good point. I often forget to convey my disappointment in second instance, and on hindsight, it appears that I am okay with her shitty behavior, and aloof.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 09:07 PM
1

First I read a bunch of books about the proper "form". Then I started focusing on individual reps with light weight (small talk conversations with cashiers or fellow line-waiters). Then I added some weight (casual conversations with people I know at mutual social events), then some sets of medium weight (casual openers to attractive women in non-sexual situations), then heavy reps (extended conversations with attractive women or groups of strangers), then finally some heavy sets (extended, sexua…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:38 PM
2

That is really insightful! repetition is the way to achieve the muscle memory and subsequent ability to focus on the set instead of the rep, and eventually the program instead of the set. Nailed it. I recall first month I was just goofing up in gym trying to figure out minor details like how much cardio/lifting etc. Then I started SL5x5 program and first couple weeks were getting form correct, finding equipment etc. Now, I just head to gym, have a great workout as per the program progression, an…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:36 PM
1

I am already shit scared of raising kids ...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:28 PM
1

That is well described! Yes, need to actually calm down a bit. I have always been an impatient person. Everything in life has been a project, to which I throw maximum energy (time and attention) to get it done asap. Patience is a virtue that I am very short on. But time to build it now.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:16 PM
1

Yes, she is shitty because I let her be. Now, I am withdrawing affection and attention. Last is the commitment. I am pretty sure she knows I have crossed a threshold and wont step back into the Beta she is used to. It is definitely her resentment at me not being the alpha she wanted, that is blinding her to the changes in past few months. As the change becomes significant and obvious (physique, attention, attitude) she will have a wake up call soon (hopefully). I just need to amp up my 'game' on…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:13 PM
1

She doesnt just magically come around. You lead her to your vision. Thank you for pointing that out. As I admitted, I am lacking in proper Captain-ing. I mostly STFU and very rarely AA/AM. I am setting up boundaries, and that is what I meant when I said, I convey my decision and STFU to not engage in discussion. If she disagrees (usually) I withdraw further keeping a calm (though not happy) face all the time. I have to figure out a way to have 1 fun activity per weekend with her.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:06 PM
1

Nice! That is fun way to keep it fresh.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 08:02 PM
1

That's a great idea! Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 07:06 PM
1

Not sure I understand fully, but I think I get the idea. A confident (looking) man does not look worried or confused or lost because he has a plan for everything and knows he can handle anything that life offers to him. That is why he is calm and composed even in the moment of panic or stress. I am on my way to develop my abilities to be calm in the face of the storm. I guess, I just need to be a bit patient and carry on.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:54 PM
1

Thanks, I plan to keep at it. Only need to know if I am missing out on doing anything else that I should.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:46 PM
1

I have always been focused on self improvement, but more so after discovering MRP. With work and activities, we hardly communicate on weekdays at all. That is a good point regarding maternal qualities. She does not like to cook at all but will fix up some quick healthy food anyways and never anything gourmet or that takes efforts.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:44 PM
1

Gotcha. Will add meditation; and go for number close just for the practice.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:41 PM
1

Agreed, it definitely appears she is bored, probably with me. And no, it wasn't like this always. When we met, we were students, with no worries whatsoever. Now, I find myself looking at making my future better, and she wants to live in the moment. I am providing her all the beta comfort (finance, security for future) without providing the alpha tingles. The more I go deep into my interests, more I am away from her. Like I said my biggest shortcoming is failing to game my wife. While I have deve…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:40 PM
2

Frankly, this is a question I am afraid to ask myself. I have given myself this year (2016) to just improve myself, then at the end look at the picture and decide if she is adding any value or not. I still have a strong oneitis for her that I am trying to overcome. We have had really good years early on when we were having fun. She is just a reminiscence of those good times, as of today. Currently, I want to focus on myself and doing what a good captain does in marriage. If she does not change b…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 06:34 PM
1

It definitely looks bad on Reddit app, but not on web.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 04:02 AM
2

SMV includes frame and confidence. Which usually comes after some validation from catching eye of other girls, for a career beta especially. And I am referring to perceived SMV by your wife. So unless your wife sees you are hot and get IOI from other women, all the AA and AM will backfire as she still thinks you are a chimp.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 04:01 AM
1

True. I have had to deload when I corrected my form. Will look into trap bar, my wrists are definitely the weakest link.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 11:37 PM
2

Just rechecked. These are 1RM.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 11:33 PM
0

Well, I picked the numbers from 5x5, so 1RM would be bit higher.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 11:30 PM
1

Thanks! That is a great site, definitely need to dig deeper to support balanced growth of all muscle groups.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 10:05 PM
2

Exactly, I thought I am struggling real bad with my OHP but when I put it in perspective, it was the best of all I do!
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 10:04 PM
7

Alpha is in the eye of the beholder. True that! Build your inner frame so strong that nothing overcomes it.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 09:56 PM
1

On the point. Yes, my MAP is focused on increasing game, improving frame and developing my vision.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 06:35 PM
2

I am in similar situation. Wife says she doesn't deserve someone as good as me, but never does anything that shows she loves me. And this is when I am the fittest I have ever been, make more than twice the money she does, I can chat up women easily, etc. So what did I find my problem to be? My frame sucks. I was sabotaging my dread. She has grown so comfortable that she knows that I would never even look elsewhere. She has seen me shutdown flirting in past and advances from other girls when we w…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 04:54 PM
1

Thanks for reminding me of the excellent posts. One or two readings are not sufficient, every time I read, I find something new I had missed earlier!
/r/askMRP16/05/16 05:32 PM
1

I have now come to realization that I do need to change my mindset.
/r/askMRP16/05/16 05:31 PM
1

Hmm. I guess I need a lot of work on my frame. I am not ready to nuke it yet, but definitely need to figure out ways to subtly convey that I am not bound forever if shit continues.
/r/askMRP13/05/16 04:21 PM
1

I do understand (now) that my SMV in her eyes is much lower. So STFU is the best I can do for now. AA/AM is when her perception of my SMV increases.
/r/askMRP13/05/16 12:13 AM
2

Pardon my lack of red pill but the answer to that will be question that goes like - Why should I cut out harmless things? It shouldn't bother you, you are so conservative.
/r/askMRP13/05/16 12:12 AM
1

Even before I consider enforcing a boundary, I know what she will say - It is just harmless talk and just friendly banter.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 08:48 PM
1

Hmm... funny how delusional I have been. On to manipulated man sir. On a sidenote: every help or act that I have done has had primarily a selfish motive for me - to learn something new. If it is a problem that someone else can easily solve, I just direct requester to that person. I like challenges and solving problems, but not at the cost of my own time. I never spoon feed a solution unless it is an emergency of course. Off to manipulated man now.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 05:16 PM
1

You should become a motivation speaker or writer! the goal is to write that story moment by moment for yourself with conscious actions chosen by you with extreme ownership over the consequences of those actions. That is sexy my friend. That is a man on a mission. That is a man who generates the Tingles. That is a man who is unstoppable. That is a man who gives all he has until he dies, who never gives up. I have been struggling to put my goal in words, and here it is! Just need to add measurable…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 05:07 PM
2

Agreed, that was a butt hurt response type thinking on my part. I just need to be a person who is happy and is enjoying life.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:32 PM
1

Thank you for reminding me that I need to be patient. I have to be patient and disciplined at this. Chipping away a small piece a day to clear the rock wall. My next post will be in MRP with progress on my MAP.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:31 PM
1

Yes, I might have some delusions regarding my SMV, agreed. However, as I was replying to /u/FearDearg2015 it is only my interaction around my wife that I turn insecure. When interacting with any other women, I come out pretty strong AMOG. I don't do flirting game, but in any social setting, I am the one driving intellectual discussions or fun party games. I am the one planning and executing fun trips in town or out station. I get respect from all the guys around me, at work or in social settings…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:28 PM
1

That is going to take some time for me to fully adopt. A number of times, I have felt I am just an observer and nothing else. I know I don't control most or rather any of the things and yet I don't feel helpless or lost. But, when it comes to wife, to whom I am so strongly connected emotionally, all my sense goes out of window. I have idolized her in the truest beta sense, while being enough alpha rest of the time.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:13 PM
-2

I understand and agree. I can put on my public-face anytime and am quite successful giving presentations, talking to strangers etc. It still wears me down, and after a while I need to be alone to recharge. Not sure if that makes any sense. What I am trying is, to go longer and longer between the 'recharges'.
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:09 PM
1

Aha! That was eye-opening! Yes, I plead guilty to being a nice guy all my life. Only recently starting to understand how harmful it is for me, and until now I had no idea how deeply ingrained it is in me. I just fell down in my own eyes for being such a contrived weak sauce. Kill the ego, but how? Which reading material in particular on sidebar on MRP addresses that? I am finishing WISNIFG now. Read through MMSL, MAP, Poon, NMNG, Day Bang. Next up is Rational Male. I understand it will take me 2…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 12:49 AM
1

Hmm, thanks for clarifying. I understand and agree now. Looks like it was a covert contract to get her attention. I need to be awesome purely for myself. I need to add playful flirting to my MAP and work on it. I need to change my 'old fashioned' mindset regarding flirting first. As for her being attention-whore, I need to grow my frame so strong that I am not bothered by it at all, and have my own orbiters. Got it, long way to go ... but at least I have started and I know where to go!
/r/askMRP12/05/16 12:18 AM
1

Yes, path is to improve myself. But, there can always be someone better than me at social gathering, right? Sure I will keep improving myself, but to what end? I guess this is where AWALT comes in ....
/r/askMRP11/05/16 11:45 PM
1

So far I am acting up as I haven't noticed. I was not sure if there is a boundary to enforce here. Do I not even convey my disappointment in her, and just let dread levels do that indirectly? As an introvert, social gatherings suck my energy, and two long social events in a day is all it takes for me to slump down to basically shooting one liners once in a while rather than actively driving the conversation in group.
/r/askMRP11/05/16 10:36 PM
1

I think it is time for me to at least have a consultation with a divorce lawyer. I used a website calculator and if you are married even a day over 5 years, you got to pay some alimony for few years. Jeez, I have killed myself to ear all this money, was just a student when I met her. Anyhow, she only recently started working at my prodding. If she was stay at home or studying, I would be doomed with alimony.
/r/askMRP19/04/16 09:45 PM
1

Still fail to STFU sometimes, but getting there.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 10:25 PM
2

Like /u/BluepillProfessor also said, holding grudges is not for men. I do realize this is anger phase for me. Will move on soon, hopefully.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 10:25 PM
1

yeah, need to kill it in gym with a vengeance.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 10:22 PM
2

Yes, I am readying myself so if needed I can just walk away. The more I ask what value does she bring, more I get angry at myself for letting the situation this far. It will cost me a lot financially but might be better in long run. There rarely are hard no, just that I am not interested in starfish sex. I need to stop fapping altogether as well. I am just worried that I did not hone my skills to be a good captain. And if I leave her now, I might make the same mistakes with next partner. So, I m…
/r/askMRP18/04/16 09:22 PM
1

Agreed. Need to stop fap, get so horny that I initiate overlooking any ego or grudges. And continue working on myself in parallel.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 09:16 PM
2

Yes, that is correct. I do realize it is my ego stopping me for initiating. I need to fix that, and revisit the levels of dread. Btw, just finished the book extreme ownership, fantastic read. Before this book, I was ready to throw the towel in, file for divorce and move on. Then I realized, I need to fix me first. Only after that I can accurately determine if my team member need to be coached or changed.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:32 PM
1

That is a good strategy, indeed!
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:13 PM
1

Oh I am always horny but when I look at her, she represents all the misery I have gone through because of my blue pill behavior and my boner is gone. Have reduced fapping, maybe it is time to just stop altogether.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:13 PM
1

Hmm, I see your point. I agree this roads leads to losing interest in her, and I already feel that. Could be due to ego that I pull attention of far hotter women and just my inability to keep the failed shit tests aside for getting just starfish sex.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 08:11 PM
1

My immediate goal is to be someone who I myself can respect and be in awe of. Rest of things I will decide on way. Instead of giving up totally on her, I plan to practice my game and hone my skills. I know I will need these skills with her or with anyone else so I should better get good at it. And I think I will go no-sex mode for a while at least. Get everything else (lifting, reading, game etc) moving in right direction then I can jump back at initiating.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 06:59 PM
2

Thanks for pointing that out, leading at homefront is also a required skill for a captain. Yes I plan to understand everything and start with small steps as I grow more confident. Only thing I regret is not starting lifting the first day I read about it here. It is a slow process, but am on my way now.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 06:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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