Wife

Sapphire_Jizz · 2016-07-18T06:53:18+00:00

If she fucked this guy, she wouldn't have mentioned anything to you. If she was actually sexually attracted to this guy and anything happened (even just a kiss) she wouldn't have mentioned anything to you. You will probably never know the exact truth unless you talk to the guy. Or press your wife really hard.

I think there are two likely scenarios here.

Scenario 1: this is some weird humble-brag by your wife to the people in her life about how some respected colleague hit on her cuz she's just that hot. Also, drama is fun. Any idea if she might do this, OP?

Scenario 2: something actually did happen -- maybe not full on fucking -- but she was engaged with this dude such that he somehow thought escalating would be a thing. And she decides to tell everyone... why? Does she think that you're a huge beta who would never go anywhere, so it's safe for her to tell you about shit like this?

She could also just be blowing the situation completely out of proportion, i.e., the guy was just a little too friendly with her and she somehow embellishes that into "yeah he totes tried to kiss me" when she's with her friends.

I think we need more information. You should either ignore this completely, or inquire about it calmly (but in a no bullshit manner) just once. Hear what she has to say. Maybe ask a follow-up question or two. Do not get emotional or make anything into a big deal. This is purely to analyze her reactions and words to know if this is something that should be on your radar.

The_Litz · 2016-07-18T12:06:54+00:00

Chances are it is innocent, she is humble bragging or trying to get a rise out of you.

The geezer trying to kiss her? Well there is one of two scenarios.

1) They were in a situation where he was getting good signals from your wife and they were alone somewhere.

2) He was trying his luck in an aspie way. This could mean catching the lift, walking into each other outside the toilets etc.

Either way, if you let your hamster handle it, it will turn into something. She is a big girl, you don't need to tell her to not catch the lift with the aspie geezer.

You are on course in improving, SMV is rising and she also wants to run dread! Take it as a compliment.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-07-18T14:41:49+00:00

As for your concerns, how are your options? If she died tomorrow in a horrible truck related homicide, would there be other women there to console you?

This is probably nothing (the context matters, have you gotten any other signals that push this one way or the other?) but your mindset needs work. If you aren't looking good, dressing well, and socializing with the women, then these things are always gonna bother you a little.

Instead, work on a mindset of a guy who is just doesn't need a strong reason to pull his commitment card from a lady for not 'acting right'

jeeohnjones · 2016-07-18T07:39:14+00:00

Not enough of a thrilling reaction from you, for probably the truth. 'mentions it twice' - "Hey, hey. Did you hear me the 1st time? pls respond."

She ups the story for more oohs and aahs to her friends.

If you bring it up again, she'll finally get 'the reaction' she was looking for. If she brings anything like this up again, use it to say "yep, because you're so hot babe" (no sarcasm) and grab her ass etc etc.

She knows damn well she's 'putting herself in situations' but apparently to get a reaction from you. Probably a half-bullshit story after a week away to get you to fuck her!

bogeyd6 · 2016-07-18T14:52:09+00:00

She was getting her tingles from someone else. Presumably because you are failing the scale on the AF/BB. Should you hamster further on it? No.

bitofawitch · 2016-07-18T15:39:12+00:00

Perhaps she's mentioning it to you because she was sexually harassed by a colleague and wanted her husband's support? That's what it's called when a married colleague tries to kiss you in a work situation.

Ask the women you know. I bet you that at least 1 in 2 will have a story about how a gross co-worker or boss hit on them (or worse) and how they didn't feel like they had any recourse to get out of the situation.

Also try asking yourself how you would react if your boss, a married man, tried to kiss you during a work function. Would you feel flattered or would you be insulted, disgusted, angry, and fearful for your work reputation.

I thought men liked solving problems for their wives.

Countpudyoola · 2016-07-18T16:06:53+00:00

As others have pointed out I see this as a bit of humble-bragging... validation seeking.

The only way you would hear something to be alarmed about out of her mouth is if she has 0 respect for you. Is TRYING to get YOU to feel jealous if she's been feeling a lot of it lately towards your new behavior, OR she knows she's left a clue you're going to find and is trying to head it off at the pass with a trickle-truth. But the last case would happen after something like you seeing a pic on social media that was compromising, or a friend in casual conversation counters somehow exposes some story of hers as false.

So what you're left with is the attention or trying to induce jealousy/reaction.

As girls get older, the flagrant flirting and interest flags off naturally.

It's got to be very disappointing and discouraging for a sex that was always the subject of this kind of attention for their adult life.

The more they talk about, the more it's just an indicator of it's novelty.

Ie. you don't talk or brag about common occurrences.

About a year ago I got to witness this on the extreme end of the spectrum. A pretty obese woman went up to get a drink at a bar, some buffish-big (hence taking up a lot of room) guy was already there and, being nice offered to get the bartender's attention for her.

Note he didn't buy her a drink, he was mainly just aware of the situation and was being nice.

This was on one side of me. He walks off, she gets her drink then waddles around me back to her gaggle of emo friends on the other side of me whereupon she went on and on about how the guy was hitting on her and wanted to get into her pants.

Besides the fact that it would have taken the jaws-of-life to do so, I was pretty floored how much she was trying to puff up her ego with the slightest hint of a scrap.

This is one end. The other is genuine move-making. The longer life goes on, the more the former will replace the latter.

You point this fact out to them, you're a dick.

Your wife wins with the friends on two fronts: if the guy was alpha (she describes the interaction primarily based on his quality traits)... that she still is attractive enough to pull one. If he was an obvious beta or even omega (she describes the interaction primarily based on HIS interest in her) that she still has them wanting to blow their resources on her. It's all about the social validation.

Personally, I see no harm in feeding a little of that ego. The last thing you want is your wife to feel undesirable enough that she starts LOOKING for attention. Attention and validation are two subliminal NEEDS for women to measure their status in life.

"He tried to kiss me."

"Well who wouldn't?"

"Of course... I've got good taste, remember?"

then lay one on her yourself. You're not reacting negatively (giving no shits and confident). You're letting her know you still see her as an attractive sexual object and fulfilling that need.

And you should always go back to:beta's guard, alpha's disregard.

My wife just went on a GNO to a ...gasp... bar this past friday with... gasp... divorcee women.

Old me and this would have sent me through the roof.

She even pulled me aside to "OK" a skimpier than normal dress for her to go out in. (Her curve balls are a lot more complicated since normal tests give very little reaction).

My reaction (paraphrase) was "why are you going so conservative?" and joked she needed to show more cleavage. She was REALLY trying to read my thoughts on the matter. She had some elaborate explanation that she bought it for OUR date night the next night. I told her wear what she wants. She can always wear less the next day. Then through LOTS of probing (which just led to more AM or AA from me) I finally told her to have fun and call me if she had too much to drink and be careful. She set her own curfew at 11 and walked in at 10:45 with tales about her friends about how scary and sad divorcee life is (totally separate subject about how she's just now realizing things TRP talks about all the time with POST wall women who find themselves back in the dating pool).

I'm not sure if a guy hit on her or didn't. My wife looks good. She probably gets hit on at the grocery store or at Lowes. Her yoga pants leave less to the imagination than her dress. Why am I going to go around stressing about it? If that bothered me I'd have married an ugly fat chick.

Focus more on trying to get those IOI's yourself through YOUR self-improvement.

If she's going to branch swing...you're not going to hear about it. While there's always a higher branch, just make sure yours is good enough that it's not really worth the effort on her part to jump.

TL;DR: Give less fucks. Use this opportunity to NOT be a dick, and score some easy good husband points.

ex_addict_bro · 2016-07-18T15:06:58+00:00

How does a married woman end up in a situation where someone ends up trying to kiss her?

She was flirting with him. No man tries to kiss a woman out of thin air.

if there is unacceptable behavior, I want to nip it in the bud.

What the fuck.

You married dudes are so... naive.

You can't do shit really.

Re-read this. You can't do SHIT about her fucking other men.

This whole sub premise in this area is flawed. It's very good to take ownership, it's even great to improve. You can't do shit about that. Betas don't get to set boundaries. Alphas don't marry. You're done.

Now down vote me into oblivion and go play your small Disney fueled fantasy, only call it different and actually berate Disney and fantasies.

Title	Wife
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	13
Date	July 18, 2016 6:31 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4tdtwb/wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife.207320 https://theredarchive.com/post/207320

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