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msaluta86 Archive

View 4 posts and 26 comments by msaluta86 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
22

msaluta86/r/RPChristians16/10/20 11:18 AM
21

msaluta86/r/RPChristians19/10/20 06:16 PM
9

msaluta86/r/askRPC02/11/20 11:06 AM
1

msaluta86/r/RPChristians18/10/20 06:17 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

If you apply 1 Corinthians 13 in a sinful marriage/relationship, and both in the relationship aren’t as committed as the other, there tends to be one who has to exercise more patience, one who has to exercise more kindness, one who has to bear more. It, alone, in a sinful world, more often than not, is a recipe for inequity and a life of quiet desperation.
/r/RPChristians18/11/20 01:46 AM
2

Man judges by appearances, God judges the heart. Did he give you reasons or evidence to substantiate that claim? Did he differentiate between head knowledge and heart change or anything like that? Just because someone is willing to invest in you doesn’t mean their theology is sound at all.
/r/askRPC15/11/20 03:52 PM
2

I was reading through Boundaries in Marriage (and No More Mr. Nice Guy, and Biblical Masculinity Blueprint, and Extreme Ownership, and Wild at Heart, and the Sidebar, and the Bible... who knew marriage required a degree in psychology, entrepreneurship, and theological studies to be remotely successful [I suspect most don't...]) that our attitudes - not those of our spouse, cause us to feel distressed and powerless. "We allow ourselves (Mr. Nice Guy) to get pushed beyond certain limits and then b…
/r/askRPC04/11/20 12:58 PM
3

I’ve thought about that as well. Most of the training programs out there that I’ve done focus on progressive overload over time with a deloading after. Rinse repeat as infinitum. My current stats are pretty good, but as I age I’m not sure I want to be deadlifting or squatting as much as I am. Most of this older fit guys in my old gym were on multiple knee or shoulder surgeries. I’d be happy retiring the squat rack in favor of jiu jitsu and kettlebells when the time calls for it.
/r/RPChristians23/10/20 12:01 AM
2

I did just that. Her response was what I can only describe as a defiant teenager. She is testing my very ability to declare something within our marriage to be unacceptable.
/r/RPChristians19/10/20 08:40 PM
5

This is good to keep in mind. I think she saw her parents leverage the threat of divorce but never follow through with it, and employs the same tactic.
/r/RPChristians19/10/20 07:44 PM
2

I should point out that I've told her that I will not consent to divorce for non-Biblical reasons. It isn't something I want, but civilly I'm unable to make that call.
/r/RPChristians19/10/20 07:26 PM
7

I think what may be happening, is she is unaccustomed to me being oak-like. In my handling of things that needed to be handled, I will admit that I lost a bit of my amiability. I became very task oriented and focused, which she perceived as me tolerating her presence. You're absolutely right though about the emotions and the engagement.
/r/RPChristians19/10/20 07:21 PM
2

Thank you I have edited the original post with those stats.
/r/RPChristians17/10/20 01:13 AM
1

Honestly it really hasn't stopped. It was a pivotal chapter in my life. I was around Godly men, by God's grace I had a number of epiphanies in a relatively short amount of time at that age (22). She and I had a discussion about 6 months in where she expressed that she feels like I'm doing all of these interesting things and accomplishing so much, that she feels left behind. So, it wasn't an overwhelming attraction to that guy, it was more of an "I don't want that guy, I want my dad"...it would s…
/r/RPChristians17/10/20 12:15 AM
1

Thank you. Completely new to the sub and anything regarding Red Pill. I plan to start studying the Sidebar this weekend. Regarding lifting, I’m in pretty good shape. I’m at some pretty great PRs right now and really low body fat. The lack of attraction is likely as you said from a lack of leadership.
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 11:44 PM
1

This is very true. I've seen it in some men's groups I've been in. Luckily, I've already done the Rambo ~7 years ago and we survived. Praying that I can keep calm, recognize the symptoms, and stay focused.
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 04:51 PM
1

I agree 100%. There were some times early in our marriage where we made some pretty foolish financial decisions, so there may be some trust issues, rather than just pure unadulterated and unrestrained need for control. Regarding sex, I have asked for what I wanted, and she doesn't feel comfortable. The discussion of why yields no fruit, just "uncomfortable." We're not talking Karma Sutra stuff either, like basic vanilla positions other than missionary. She has a tendency to view positions wherei…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 04:48 PM
1

Certainly will!
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 04:41 PM
2

I did. For the motorcycle, she made the decision that she wasn't going to divorce me, since that's not allowed. She decided that, should anything happen to me: broken leg, traumatic brain injury, become paralyzed, that I would be "on my own" for dealing with it. For the leg, she wouldn't assist with anything around the house, take me to the hospital, basically creating a boundary from the thing she doesn't want/like. For TBI or becoming paralyzed, she created the boundary of justified divorce, s…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 04:39 PM
1

Yeah when we got married, I was still pretty much the young, ignorant, nice guy. Really didn't care too much if she was picky, or strong-willed. Thought it just a quirk, but didn't see the red flags. Wasn't until a few years in that I realized the patterns in her parent's marriage were an expectation in our own, and that leaving and cleaving wasn't something anyone in her family was willing to endure, herself included. In their mind, simply moving out of mom and dad's house is leaving and cleavi…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 04:29 PM
2

I have done the work-on-yourself-and-she'll-want-you. It was very exciting and fun, but didn't result in her wanting me. It really only resulted in more resentment that I'm doing all of these things without her. I invited her during the Wild at Heart phase ("she wants to be invited on the adventure"), but she wasn't interested. I guess she wants the offer? I'm 5'10", 160lbs , 225lb bench, 400 DL, 325 squat, run 2 miles in 12 minutes, and am waiting to get back into BJJ after covid. Not saying I'…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 03:48 PM
2

Very interesting. I can recall doing something similar. I read Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud, in addition to Wild at Heart, and made decisions. Those were met with extreme resistance and, an interesting term I just looked up: gaslighting. I began questioning the very nature of reality and if in fact I was being out of bounds in a marriage where one is expected to compromise ad infinitum. That is why I'm grateful for a forum like this, and while I'm sure there's a different side of the story if…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 03:26 PM
1

The problem comes when you take the approach "If I can just discover her love language and give her what she needs emotionally, then that will fix the problem and our relationship will be better." I can say that what has happened, is that my primary love language (physical touch) has changed to quality time, having been starved of the former for so long. Not sure that's healthy, but it's what happened.
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 03:04 PM
2

To that end, there is an implicit (and if I recall, maybe even an explicit) covert contract being promoted: When husbands love their wives and wives respect their husbands, you'll get great sex. But what if the wife, who doesn't actually respect her husband, doesn't care to get better sex? Sex has never been her priority or goal. As she explained to me, her mother instructed her at a very young age that sex is sinful outside of marriage, which much emphasis on the first part, not so much on the …
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 03:01 PM
2

I have a pretty abnormal metabolism and also do intermittent fasting, run, jumprope, used to do BJJ until covid, and am usually doing some variation of a 5x5 lifting program. If I don't watch it, I can get too thin unfortunately. I'm just not a hungry guy really.
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 02:12 PM
1

Thank you so much for your response. When you mention "Frame," where can I find more information on that?
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 02:09 PM
1

So she wants to be different from her parents but she keeps visiting them? Yep. Unfortunately we live 10 minutes from her parents house. She/we are there every Saturday, either all day, or half of it. Typically a couple times per week for 20 minutes or so, since her mother watches our son while we work. We were contemplating moving to South Carolina in the near future. Her parents have stated that they would move as well. My wife has a sister. She was married at one point. Her husband in fact sa…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 02:05 PM
14

I downloaded the sidebar to read this weekend. Thanks so much for those points. They make sense. I'm almost having to take a 10,000 ft step back and try to view our marriage with as objective a lens as I can to unravel mindsets that I've just shifted to as a response.
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 12:54 PM
2

I wanted to buy a motorcycle with money I'd saved specifically for that purpose, her response was either motorcycle or me. Because I don't want to take care of a quadriplegic or TBI patient the rest of my life. There was a time that I wanted to explore growing my facial hair out, her response was beard or me. Because I HATE beards I wanted to pursue possibly joining the Army or Army reserves, her response was military or me. Because I don't want to have to uproot my life every time we get reassi…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 12:51 PM
2

She saw an interview with Stasi describing what it meant to be captivating, thought it painted the woman in a submissive, I'm only here for the husband, please come save me mentality, and decided that was all she needed to see regarding the Captivating book. She actually hates the word captivating because of it. Another book we read was Love and Respect. The entire premise is that men want to be respected, women want to be loved. When I don't love her, she doesn't respect me. When she doesn't re…
/r/RPChristians16/10/20 12:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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