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myxyplyxy Archive

View 5 posts and 122 comments by myxyplyxy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Sorry that is happening, but stuff is nothing. Kids…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 01:26 PM
6

Took me 2 years to get out of the frozen hole. Give yourself permission to stay there. Your nervous system needs that
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 05:43 PM
2

There must be an expat community. Try to get involved. You need people. Do all the other things.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 12:53 AM
2

That is rough. I get it. You have to do what you need to get through.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 07:53 PM
9

Rough. I was married 25. It has taken me 2-3 years to begin to recover. You can do it, but you are going to have to learn to sit with the pain. Don’t turn it to anger, or numb it or blame it on others. Just feel it all, that saps its power. And go to therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:59 AM
1

Brutal
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 10:14 PM
2

You can’t do that to your mom. It takes time. And the time is dark and gut wrenching. The sooner you learn to sit with the pain, endure it, the sooner you get out. Also, talk to people, friends, therapists. You will find strength you never knew you have.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:19 AM
2

It feels really hard right now. You will have to learn how to take care of yourself, make connections and be alone. It is not easy. One step at a time. This group can be a start
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 10:51 PM
2

I can relate to your words. Ty
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:55 PM
3

I can really empathize buddy. It is a dark spot. Very few things are worse. It is going to be tough as nails, but you will find the strength. But not today, today it is ok to cry and feel despair.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:47 PM
2

Same. 30 months
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 12:41 AM
1

Sorry you are in this place. It is one of the most painful times. My experience is you have to sit in the pain and feel it fully. Takes time. Took me two years, but each month lessens ever so slightly. Brutal stuff
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 12:03 AM
1

Do not pay for that. Unless that is not much to you? You are not doing her any favors.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:32 AM
3

I am on year three. First one was hell. Second as zombie, third is just starting to move on. If i could have, i would have turned it off.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:28 AM
3

I wish you luck.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 05:16 PM
7

Stop trying to impose rationality on her. She is operating on a different script you cant rationalize. Protect yourself
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 03:00 AM
3

Lookup the sinclair method to help with the alcohol
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:53 PM
8

I am sorry. That is rough. As rough as it gets. There are no easy solutions. Other than day by day. Being there as role model for your kids. Show them character. They will appreciate it someday as it sounds like their mom may not have character. Put yourself in that role 100%. The man of character. Get a counselor. They help. It is ok to feel defeated right now. Just make sure you get back up
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 12:37 AM
2

You are allowed to feel all of it. There is no pain leaderboard. Felt pain is pain. But it will make you stronger
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 12:31 AM
2

And not to mention chrildren of suicide parents are much more likely to take that path later in life
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:22 PM
2

This is what happens before the end unless you go to counseling and be very honest with yourself and her, and be willing to put the weight down.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:59 AM
3

This is rough. I can relate to a lot of it. I hope you can heal.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 11:46 PM
3

I feel this. Rough. I was unemployed when she filed. Was hell getting work and getting divorced. Sending you my best. I did get work and hope you will to.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 11:14 PM
2

This place is good. Some cities have group meetings for divorce or grief. You will be ok. Just sucks now. Hope you are taking care of yourself
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 10:22 PM
2

Misery and company. It will be over some day and this will be a memory. I wish i could have saved my marriage. But i am hoping to somehow repair as amicable friends. The last two years have been a gut shot. Wouldnt wish this on anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 10:19 PM
2

For sure. That is very hard.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 06:41 PM
2

No one cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 02:43 PM
3

For me, the hard part is personal accountability and at the same time opening my eyes to the truth’s i was blind to. These likely balance each other. I am learning to be fair to myself and her. Not easy as blaming would be easy. Good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 04:48 AM
2

Things will get better. Stick to your character. That will win.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 03:29 AM
3

Brutal. I will be with mine on thanks giving. But not christmas. Sucksn no one understands this pain.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:43 AM
4

Sending you support. I know how it is
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:42 AM
1

Good point. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:34 PM
1

Very healthy advice. Hard to focus on myself positively
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 02:18 AM
1

Volunteering is a great idea
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 11:07 PM
1

Good idea
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 09:36 PM
2

You sound like a good man. I admire you being so concerned for her and so fair in your assessment. All the same. Get a lawyer. Urge her to get a counselor.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:56 AM
3

That is rough. I am sorry. I am feeling a similar feeling today, regret and sadness and grief. The only thing i am learning is to try and feel it fully. It is hard. The emotions suck and i want to turn them to anger. But it is better to feel them. They are then released. Like melting ice.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:46 AM
2

Brutal. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 04:55 AM
2

Thought your kids were grown?
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 04:00 AM
7

This is rough. I know the feeling. Give yourself permission to be in the suck. Just keep going. Try to socialize with someone who will listen to you. Gradually life will get better in small steps. I am only saying this to convince myself.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 12:30 AM
3

Do the hard work. Go to counseling as a couple and individually. You owe this to your kid. Right now you are both too young to realize the damage you are causing for selfish ego reasons. I know that sounds harsh, but you need to do the big boy stuff now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 05:12 AM
6

Sorry. This is the first of many lows. You mow have to decide what your character is. Find your moral value and stick to it. Dont go to the battleground she wants. Stay at your center
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 12:18 AM
3

I am sorry. I moved my stuff out today. Broke down. Hardest thing ive ever gone through. Sending my best
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 01:29 AM
1

I am 53, what does this look like?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 12:53 AM
2

That is hard brother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 12:52 AM
8

That is not true for women in their 50s going through menopause
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 12:50 AM
2

I could have been better. But i tried. Circumstances were very very hard.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 12:19 AM
1

I am also in the middle. Thought i was getting better, but now empty. I cant still not able to do all the recommended things: hobbies, gym, self improvement. But keep trying to move forward. I wish there were local groups for us. They seem hard to find.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 12:55 AM
1

Good advice
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 12:49 AM
1

This is a good question. Giving me thinks to think
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 12:35 AM
4

You need to tell her everything you think. Open and direct discussion will decide the issue
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:49 AM
7

Brutal man. I am so sorry. There is no consoling you. This is just rough. I dont know if a great lawyer would make a difference but it seems very very unfair.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:05 AM
12

Understanding how rage is masked grief and fear.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 01:30 AM
2

I am sorry. I know where you are. The empty hole. I know everyone has their process, but alcohol didnt help me fill that void. The only thing that helps is sitting with the pain.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:16 AM
1

Thank you so much for this reply
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 03:11 PM
3

You mean, you took on too much blame?
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 12:56 AM
4

I know. Thank you. I am no longer interested in fairness. Just my own internal reckoning. It is hard to do that when all i have is my own limited view. Therapy has helped but again it is not giving me enough of a process. I will journal.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 11:25 PM
-1

Legislated means congress.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:35 PM
-6

You dont know how law works. They cant reform the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 03:32 PM
1

Sucks man
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 01:51 AM
-1

This is young bro speak. There are different realities for people. Gym bros can be lame.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 11:49 PM
4

I mean, if you can somehow afford to, buy her out. Most rents are approaching 1700. Every situation is unique. I get that. But see if there is a way.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 01:23 AM
6

For me, i have found that i need to literally sit in grief and let it wash through me. There is an urge to distract from it, ruminate, replay old tapes to build defenses, but if i dont do that and instead feel it in the body it starts to diminish
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:54 PM
3

I can relate. Truly baffling. The more i examine it though, in my case, the more i can understand in her reactions. But it is a completely different way to be in the world. I think men aren’t in touch with their feelings, but this is also true about women. Just different. Anyway, it sounds intense.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 12:48 AM
3

So you think menopause is at play?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 10:46 PM
2

I am sorry. That is brutal. It makes a lot of sense. And you can drink if you want. But the sooner you stop the sooner you can build your new life. It really is true there is no situation that drinking made better. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:22 PM
2

Try to stop drinking
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 10:37 AM
0

I agree. OP is squarely in the blame them for everything phase. This is never true. And is likely middle ground.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 10:16 PM
10

I agree. OPs motives feel like control. Hard to say what is real, but that is how it sounds to me. I bet there were boundary issues on both sides and they have had challenges with understanding how to set healthy boundaries
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:48 AM
6

Why cant you initiate the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 07:08 AM
1

ha, but, you're not on the border yet! the excitement is coming.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 06:32 PM
1

Understood. Thank you. If you do get in, and i hope you do, keep a journal. You absolutely have a book in you about your unique perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 11:58 AM
3

Listen, i have absolutely no judgement or agenda here, genuinely interested in the thought process behind a first generation immigrant wanting to be on border patrol. What is your unique perspective here?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 11:16 AM
5

So how do you move forward with rhis knowledge? Make sure you are kind to yourself
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 01:13 AM
1

I can appreciate this. Learning to feel the moments. Such as they are.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 11:52 AM
5

Forkin ell. Brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 09:08 PM
2

Please! A child doesn’t need to know any of that. A healthy approach is mom and dad both love you but sometimes adults stop living together, and then Act like adults without letting kids feel any changes
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 08:47 PM
6

This is important. He is developing wounds that will affect him for life. You ahould consider getting him counseling so he can learn to process this. Don’t craate generational trauma that he has to live with. He should feel he is in a stable secure and loving life situation that makes sense to him. If he is acting out, even if toward only her, it isn’t what you think, itbis because he doesn’t know where to put his emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 12:51 PM
2

Exactly. Consider asking for interlock device first. These are your kids lives. She should never ever get behind the wheel with a BAC
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:16 PM
3

Absolutely yes
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:06 PM
-3

Im going to say something that is not popular: if you are blaming someone else you have a long way to go. If you blame yourself you are halfway there. And if you blame no one you have arrived.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 03:29 AM
2

https://genius.com/Blake-mills-dont-tell-our-friends-about-me-lyrics add this one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 09:39 AM
1

sounds like bitcoin. Do yourself a favor and sell.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 02:16 AM
14

Sorry man. It is ok to feel like this
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 03:36 AM
2

Solid. 🙌🏻👊🏻
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 09:33 PM
1

You will do it. Stay focused
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:09 AM
1

Have you used this tool?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:57 PM
3

I am sorry you are here saying these words. That is the loneliest place. I can only echo what others are saying, because their words are true. I am not a believer in the christian god, nor would i advocate for religion. So keep that in mind when i say, drive to a church. They are usually open. Go sit in the empty space. Dont pray, dont do anything but be there. Churches have a physical design that allows the spirit (whatever that means to you) to rest for a minute. It is something about open vau…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:33 PM
12

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:01 PM
3

Right now you are operating from pure emotion. Your “good father” instincts are valuable, but they are overriding other important thinking processes. You cannot change a lot of this right now. Take 6 months, one year. If hawaii is your goal, research all night long. Build a network there in any way possible. Talk to a lot of people and listen to advice. You may fond that your best move is to go to LA, where you can kill it in sales and fly to hawaii once a month cheaper than living there. Now yo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 07:11 PM
5

Rock solid advice. Start a podcast friend.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 07:06 PM
1

Possible, but the delete seems to suggest otherwise
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 03:54 AM
2

Sorry. Was going to offer advice until i saw your username.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 03:39 AM
1

Any chance you could be in couples counseling at the same time?
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 03:38 AM
8

Brutal.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 07:37 PM
1

Sorry. I feel yah. 100%
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:20 AM
1

Brutal. I feel yah
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 01:49 AM
2

This sounds like me. I was able to answer the summons myself, using legal aid, but im going to have to get a lawyer. And they cost just what you said. My legal aid counsel said the the process could take months.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 09:59 PM
1

Try 30
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 05:33 AM
2

I think, for me, it is accepting those low moments like an old friend you arent sure you want to visit, but you do anyway. Make peace with the feeling in the moment. We Tend to reject that vulnerability and look for distraction. But fully feeling it and being ok is a way to show out broken part that we can get through
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 05:01 PM
3

Try stoicism. Or read about it. Very much cannot change the past. Only own the present
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 03:49 PM
3

Well, i can vouch for therapy. Specifically therapy + mindfulness practice. Therapy helped me accept that there can be completely different interpretations of experience and that a lot of the pain we feel we can sit with and endure. It also helped me understand that i cannot control tomorrow or yesterday. And i can only affect small portions of today.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 01:47 AM
2

Also. Nice belt. Nice shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 03:45 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 05:05 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 12:17 AM
2

Thank you. No kids involved, but i am on it. I appreciate you, and everyones clarity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 12:16 AM
3

Great idea. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 04:13 PM
4

I agree with all of this. Thank you for your insights. I will definitely get my ducks in a row, but real knowledge of the process and how it unfolds is immeasurably helpful to me right now, because I'm a top down thinker, knowing the field of battle, the steps and tactics is how I think. So, thank you for saying it is a tactic and not likely a court ruling. I will look deeper into how much time I might have and stop reacting to her lawyers tactics.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:45 PM
3

I get that, but I still need to solve a difficult problem in like 10 days and need very constructive ideas. If I can't get a retainer and lawyer, what is the process like? What is this first filing like? What does it have to include? etc, so I know if I'm getting the right counsel? Any thoughts?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:43 PM
4

Such a good answer. The proper acerbic wit everyone needs
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 01:44 AM
1

Solid advice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:26 PM
1

Your comment has been immensely helpful. Thank you. I will continue to explore these ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:25 AM
2

I believe she likely feels her version of the same. I am not going to demonize her. While i may not understand why she arrived at her decisions, i will accept them. Doesnt mean i wont stand up for myself though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:36 PM
1

A lot of sense. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:34 PM
0

I mean, ive lived long enough to doubt the black and whiteness of this statement. I think in my case loyalty towards me had a breaking point. Which i hadnt known has terminated until i committed to working on the relationship, but expected mutual acknowledgement of both of our responsibility in why things went off track.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:26 PM
1

This makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 09:22 PM
3

Thank you. Im not sure i deserve anything. For me it isnt: me against her. Im happy being alone. I have a hard time not understanding as it makes trusting myself difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:30 AM
7

This i can understand.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:26 AM
0

I don’t think so. I’m sorry. There is truth in what you say, but not balanced truth.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:24 AM
5

Really? Is there anyone with a more nuanced view?
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:14 AM
2

Ok. But this doesn’t feel true. I know loyalty. I also don’t understand how or when that gets flipped. Real humans dont fit into neat red pill boxes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:10 AM
2

I get that. Truth well spoken. Why does it feel like flipping this switch to off is a defeat? The ‘man up’ argument is a bit juvenile.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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