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nanofarm Archive

View 8 posts and 117 comments by nanofarm on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Take that money and invest or save it- put it towards education to increase your income. Now is the time to find other income streams, you can’t be to financially secure! Find out what daycare would cost and try to put that much aside every month as well. If you hit 35/38/(whatever milestone you decide) and no man has presented himself then you will have a nice nest egg to help with the expenses and hire you some help. A night nurse and doula would be 100X more valuable than a passive useless hu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 11:15 PM
16

One of the guys who did this to me was secretly nodding off on heroin. So he was technically telling the truth! He hid his addiction rather easily from me bc I was deep in pick me behavior excusing all of the giant glaring red flags flapping in the wind all around me. The next guy was much better and mostly treated me well but was a resentful passive aggressive avoidant so…. This is very good advise and really well written- listen to this smart lady!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 07:18 PM
46

I needed to read this right now. I just dried my tears after a small breakdown over everything and nothing. Now I’m gonna go pick my kid up from daycare and hold it all together until bedtime… this was a nice pat on the back. Thank you, stranger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:55 AM
13

Thanks to both of you- very important work, and lots of it. Very grateful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:22 AM
38

You queens are an inspiration! Amazing podcast, Gail dines and Lundy Bancroft. High quality and entertaining as well as deeply educational. Thank you thank you thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:14 PM
80

What size shoe do you wear, a 4? A 5 maybe? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 12:18 AM
16

My ex but only bc no woman in her right mind would have him 😂😂😅😟😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 05:22 AM
8

Thanks so much! I recently broke down and got TikTok at the ripe age of 40 and I have been enjoying it so much! I love gen z women to the moon and back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 06:35 PM
7

I can decipher her TikTok username and I’d like to check out her other videos- does anyone know where I can find her? TIA!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 06:26 PM
17

Ooh! I have fun anecdotes! I work with ALL men in a blue collar job. I’ve been on various ranches and construction sites for nearly 20 years. I’m the first woman to do my job in my local area. I am very good at my job and treated with respect. Occasionally someone will start to slack off and leave messes for me, the only woman. It’s easy to make note of it bc, again, the only lady so no “crowd sourcing” or “bystander effect” going on. (As an aside: we really need solidarity among women against t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 01:11 AM
21

Oof.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 12:21 AM
2

I was looking for some animated references! I do a lot of social justice work and I’m emotionally fatigued by the weekend so I can’t handle drama or mystery. I’ll add a few light recommendations: I’ll second hilda, we really enjoyed that. Owl house might be a bit odd for some but we really enjoyed it. Same with centaur world. Actually centaur world is SUPER strange and goofy, good after a smoke or cocktail😂 we like wierd stuff so ymmv. Bobs burgers - a non toxic family dynamic, cute and quirky. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 07:46 PM
124

There were never that many to begin with/ have you read “catcher in the rye”? Or any of those “literature” novels you were forced to read in high school and college? Most of them are garbage apart from pandering to a young solipsistic male audience. There are many good novelists still but I do think women are more capable of writing from viewpoints other than their own/their fantasies. That and they other comments here about men in general kind of low key getting dumber lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/21 02:22 AM
100

Probably bc white men have the least to whine about and yet are the most entitled about being heard and catered too- aka the biggest of the big babies. Seems apropos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 11:53 PM
24

Omg they really are creative about coming up with new ways to manipulate aren’t they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 10:28 PM
72

Or just say “and….?” Helps if you perfect your incredulous/skeptical face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 12:45 AM
5

Even if training horses doesn’t translate directly to better boundaries, the very nature of the lifestyle puts up boundaries naturally for you. horses are basically competition for any potential men in you life. Horse girls have a regular activity they are committed to- weekends, shows, clinic, lessons. We go to the barn when we are sick, when the weather is bad, etc. heck, I dropped out of a semester at college when my horse bowed a tendon and required round the clock care to save his life, no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 12:20 AM
10

Yes! That’s it. I should have looked it up but I was typing at work and trying to hurry it up. The author also has a podcast that can be helpful There is also an author named Tina Swithin who wrote “one moms journey” and a few others, I think a blog or Facebook page or something too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 02:16 AM
24

As an after thought, I know the parent commenter wasn’t suggesting these be used in court but I know FDS was a powerful resource for me two years ago and I just want this here for anyone searching the sub since the OP was about a mother navigating family court with an abuser. And a didn’t include a constructive solution: “Being the narcissists nightmare” is a very helpful short ebook if you don’t have a lawyer. My DV shelter advised me to label the behaviors but my blessed grandmother helped me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 01:04 AM
26

Great comment, thank you. If you don’t mind I’ll jump on this comment to add a disclaimer. using ANY of these terms in family court will most likely backfire on you completely. Despite the fact that we should all know better, a lot of judges still buy the debunked “parental alienation”. Additionally, this will be seen as attempting to “diagnose” your partner and you will be seen and labeling them, villainizing, or being the controlling/abusing one. Because calling someone “names” is much easier …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 12:51 AM
10

WWFDSD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:20 PM
2

What’s that quote about when you are the oppressor then equality feels like an attack….??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:07 AM
2

If it were an option, I would 100% put my daughter in an all girls school. There has been research done showing that girls do better in school without boys in the class interrupting talking over intimidating them etc. just the other day I saw a 4th grade boy (9years old!!) slap a random girl on the butt as he walked by. I yelled at him and told him that wasn’t ok but I have no authority as a parent. The little shit just said “ok” and kept walking. The girl disappeared in to the bathroom- I wish …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:43 PM
18

I’ve seen ads for adhd meds online before- I have no idea if it’s legit or not. Also, my meds were first prescribed by my Nurse practicioner GP. I was later evaluated by a psych and it was confirmed but you may have more access to meds than you know. And they really are life changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:23 PM
19

I’m 5’5” and wear a size 10 so it seems unnecessarily small to me. My mom wears a 7 and she is 5’1”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 06:44 PM
6

I use FDS to preserve my peace. For the moment that means not dating at all. But in the past it had kept the quality of my interactions with men high. This means that even though my last relationship ended, I didn’t over extend myself. I came out of it with self esteem and bank account intact and walked away when it didn’t benefit me any more. I don’t see this as a loss of a relationship, I see it as a sign of successful vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 09:30 PM
148

I finally found a good reply to this! Him: I’m sorry you feel that way Me: I’m not🤷‍♀️ Him: 🤔 Me: this feeling (angry, sad) is a natural response to (thing he did) and I’m glad I feel this way so I can address (behavior) with you. Him: 😤😞 Me: (respond accordingly- usually walking away bc I don’t have time for bullshit) Although it’s often not worth saying it out loud, it’s still been really helpful to mindfully choose to think it when someone says this kind of thing to me. Men like to weaponize …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 06:44 PM
19

Double standards and sexism as usual. Elizabeth Holmes did a bad thing and is being held responsible. As it should be. However, many many many men have done similar and worse and have had very little legal or social consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:03 AM
34

Omg, that was so triggering for me to watch bc I watched it with my mom and some of her friends and they agreed with the cops. One lady asked me if I acted like that too and that’s why my relationships “all” end. I left without saying anything. I guess my mom ripped in to her after I left and they aren’t speaking. Sadly, my mom spent a lot of time defending my abuser herself and still feels awful about it. I sat there in couples therapy and spoke of “my part” in good faith. I genuinely wanted to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:03 AM
29

My personal favorite: “ok”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 11:52 PM
34

Oh amen to that. The very experienced, trauma informed PHD psychologist who was our couples therapist didn’t spot the abuse for more than a year. My ex ended up getting diagnosed as antisocial personality disorder (aka a sociopath) by a psychiatrist. That speaks volumes of her psychological jujitsu skills bc it’s very rare for someone with that disorder to be willing to see a psychiatrist at all. All that to say that it is not at all easy to spot an abuser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 11:30 PM
7

This is amazing- we internalize so much. Abusers choose their victims not the other way around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 08:25 PM
26

Wow. This has been my experience, to varying degrees, in every relationship I’ve been in. Thank you for so accurately describing an experience that has been impossible for me to explain even to myself. Also, the last paragraph is actual gold and I have saved this comment and also took a screenshot just in case! It’s a real skill to be able to articulate these nebulous concepts because they are so ingrained in our society- it’s like asking a fish to describe what it’s like to be in water.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 10:17 PM
36

🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 07:53 PM
19

You are doing the Goddess’ work. Bless you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 09:22 PM
1

Like cuomo?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:39 PM
36

I feel like it works better if a large, muscular gay man were in the male role in these scenarios. Women are not a physical threat and men aren’t intimidated by this role reversal they way we are. It almost makes it worse bc they see this and don’t think it’s a big deal and that just adds fuel to the idea that we are overreacting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:26 PM
36

Don’t feel shamed, defensive or beat yourself up at all!! You and this guy are not the same! The difference is that you are in therapy and are self aware and I’m also going to assume that you don’t use this as an excuse to be emotionally unavailable, you don’t unload this on second dates and you don’t make it the responsibility of the people you are dating or use it to manipulate anyone. Just guessing, but I think it’s a safe bet ☺️ Additionally, it seems like most of the replies here (and mysel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:20 PM
11

Some good recommendations for therapy already but here are a few more as a fellow trauma survivor. Reach out the RAINN, women’s shelters, women’s groups and planned parenthood, maybe even AA/NA chapters. There may also be survivor groups at your college- check out student services or the equivalent to see what might be available. These groups may have free or low cost therapy, group counseling, or can be a great source for referrals. I’m not sure the nature of your trauma but don’t limit yoursel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 11:47 PM
34

This was a nice reminder to revisit the handbook. There are some new additions that I hadn’t seen yet. Even though I’m taking a one year break from dating right now this is all information that I want to deeply internalize. Also, FYI a few of the handbook posts have been removed. I know miss are overwhelmed as hell and I know nothing about Reddit but thought I might mention it in case no one has noticed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 11:32 PM
26

Omg thank you. I’m still processing the strange blow up and ghosting from the very lovely and nice guy I dated for 18months. He was all of the things I wanted and had many many HV qualities but there just wasn’t enough there for me and he was actively resistant to building more. And I’m realizing now, with the help of post like this one that I often felt dismissed and belittled by him despite him also being very supportive. As long as I had pre-approved feelings I guess. Anyways, he DARVOd and p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 09:58 PM
17

🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 03:35 AM
1

Aw man! i just went to get it in audible and it’s not available. I hope they didn’t remove it bc “controversy”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 02:49 PM
1

Unf*ck your brain with Kara lowentheil. She a feminist human rights lawyer who is now a thought work coach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 12:57 AM
1

Omg thank you!! 💜💜💜💜 I’ll take screenshots to save. It’s a great post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 11:54 PM
2

Noooooo! This got deleted. I immediately saved it bc this has happened to me so many times and it helped things make so much sense for me. I wanted to show it to my mom 😫 thank you for the great post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 11:36 PM
1733

What’s unsanitary is fishing a mystery object out of a trash can and unwrapping it gross. He was worried it might accidentally brush his hand at some point so he intentionally touched it, picked it up, unwrapped it?!? Wtf?? How does that make sense? Who digs through a bathroom trash can? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 04:30 PM
14

This was sooooo good you guys! You all are doing such and amazing job, I cannot wait for each episode and bonus to come out! Thank you so much for the thought, planning and effort you are putting in to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 10:34 PM
27

I just commented already but this reminded me of something. I was out with girlfriends and some guy who’s whole personality was “tall and beard” was leaning into our space doing his best impression of flirting. 🙄 he overheard me talking about the lack of effort that led to my last breakup and how I’ve never had a satisfactory sex life with anyone past the first year and how disappointing that was. Mr tall bear face wedged himself in to tell us all that every woman he ever dating started hot and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 10:55 PM
30

Yep, came here to say this. In their mind all of their exes are “uptight” and “no fun”. These women were all probably pretty happy, easy to be with and carefree in early dating stages. As am I. But one year in, five years in etc it’s fair to expect more from a relationship. You also expect to grow in a relationship, or you just get sick of their childish shit. Or, they stop putting effort in and start to see you as a “nag”. Wanting someone “fun” is a red flag that he will end up turning you into…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 10:48 PM
21

I would buy the shot out of these - this is a great idea. A red bubble link/storefront should do the trick….? I can print these on paper labels but vinyl stickers would be great! I work at a high school and fully plan on getting these in every stall
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 08:01 PM
367

After my ex moved out, I kept the house and rented a room to a series of lovely older women. Most were widowed, one was single by choice. All were sweet and helpful and good company. It helped with the empty house feeling after 13 years of cohabitation. I had a sliding scale policy on the rent. It sad that after divorce or death, many women struggle to make ends meet. One lady was working at target and still running her husbands business. I swear she got remarried just for the financial help. Al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 11:58 PM
6

Honestly, I doom scroll breaking mom and relationship advice with a very critical eye and run everything through an FDS filter and use that to reinforce by internal boundaries. It’s like that old driver safety video “blood in the highway” but for men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 05:38 PM
2

Unfuck your brain with Kara Loewentheil
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:27 PM
98

You ladies rock! Every episode has been amazing. As an elder millennial willingly gaining wisdom from a younger and more savvy group of women, I hope you all feel very proud of yourselves because you should. Amazing, all of you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 06:36 PM
13

YES!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:47 PM
12

The robber bride, I believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:44 PM
33

I need to hear some stories, lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 09:23 PM
1

This feels like a situation where the boundary is with yourself and has nothing to do with the other person. There are different kinds of boundaries for example: 1. Personal boundaries: ending a conversation when it crosses a line. This one is a good one to verbally express ONCE and then back up with action and no further explanation. “I’m not ok discussing this and if you try in the future I am going to have to hang up the phone/walk away/take a break from talking to you for xx amt of time 2. P…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:18 PM
6

Point well taken!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:24 AM
16

Thanks for the support, we don’t really need hope though because ultimately we have everything we need. I still want and will seek a partnership with a man but I never needed one, because I’ve never had one before and I’ve always been ok. In fact, I’m more powerful and thriving when I’m single. I didn’t realize how stressed and anxious I was this last year even though I had a sweet side spoken nice guy buying my groceries and doing my dishes and all of that. Having free time to spend in my own c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:20 PM
14

Thank you! Yes they are all the same and I blame patriarchy. I have a hard time believing that they are all terrible malicious guys but this is misogyny plain and simple. Minor and covert but still misogyny. And in order to overcome patriarchal conditioning you have to be willing to be self aware and give up the benefits it affords you (including being able to feel like the good guy) and that is much harder than just blaming the women in your life. So, I’ve circled back and decided that they pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:17 PM
11

I was so happy to read all of these helpful comments and solidarity! These ladies are giving great advice! I went through this as well- my daughter had just started kindergarten and no one wanted to have play dates With her, the moms were snotty to me and i didn’t know why. I guessed they were just snobby and I was dirt poor post divorce doing odd jobs and cleaning houses out of my filthy beat up van. I got a job working for the school halfway through the year and they eventually warmed up to me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:59 PM
6

I’m turning 40 soon and am beginning to lose hope I will ever have a satisfying sexual relationship with a man. I have been dating a really great guy for a year and a half. He’s technique is great and he is generous in bed but the enthusiasm/passion/drive just isn’t there from him. I honestly think this is as good as it gets- which I know isn’t the FDS mindset but generosity and good technique are rare. And he treats me amazingly in all areas and really seems to be high value - I think I’m just …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:29 PM
51

Every man who has ever said something like this to me has 100% turned out to be abusive in some way- usually the way he was calling out. It’s deflection and blame shifting and a kind person wouldn’t use your past abuse to dismiss your concerns. I HVM wouldn’t look for a reason to dismiss you at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:31 PM
105

Saying no to things I don’t feel like doing Walking away from things that drain my energy Offering no explanation for my preferences or boundaries Offering no apologies for my boundaries Allowing my face to look how it looks and allowing myself to feel and express myself how I see fit. Making decisions that benefit only myself when it suits me. Never apologizing for being myself (even in my own head)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:33 PM
187

All you need to do is start looking at married couples around you to realize that most moms are parenting alone regardless. I was married when I had mine but things were EASIER when he moved out. I’m still glad to share custody bc I don’t earn much and he does so those big child support payments help. He has her every other weekend which is perfect for a mom break. He is more of an uncle than a dad and they do fun stuff together but he also causes lots of headaches. If I made enough to do it alo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:31 PM
15

This is so well articulated and mirrors my own experience so closely. It always amazed me how many hundreds of women I have met in person or online that have had almost identical experiences. It is something that marks the soul. And it’s epigenetic, my mother learned her trauma responses and was traumatized with (not by) her mother. My mother was a pick me in an emotionally abusive marriage with a “good” man who was a “good” dad (he really was in a lot of ways) and a good provider but he taught …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:52 AM
34

I am only a newbie here and can only speak from my own experience with cptsd and relationship trauma. This is long because right am bad at explaining thing. I hope it helps someone. Here is what I have learned that has helped: intuition feels like a calm knowing, a quiet discomfort. Anxiety, attachment issues and fear feel urgent and frantic. Think of anxious attachment and acting out to get attention- you feel like if you don’t sort it out now you will go crazy. For example: I have nearly sabot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 03:17 AM
426

She basically GIFTED him a free surrogacy and egg donation in addition to the child support. Now he also wants to coerce her into raising a child that she never wanted?!? He should be blessing her every damn day- he WANTED this child and couldn’t actually gestate and birth one himself. Surrogates get $60,000 US at least. I don’t know how much eggs cost but they aren’t free either. She risked her health and life and figure and gave up 9 months of her life, endured the many discomforts of pregnanc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:17 AM
17

Love her sweatshirt, as both the mom and the dad I kinda want one just like it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:31 PM
9

Your use of emoticons is 10/10 🔥👌🤩🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 09:32 PM
52

Lol, I hope she is ghosting him. He’s all worried about breaking up with her but any self respecting woman would walk away without discussion after that bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 10:26 PM
40

Not anymore since I exclusively see women with the exception of one very kind and very rare specialist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 11:31 PM
13

Amen! Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 01:09 AM
1

Wow, I really needed to hear this today. Feeling weak and pathetic. Thanks💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 11:39 PM
22

I want to make a spectate comment to say that I have personally know several truly good HV men. Ive known them well and also known their spouses well and see their actions over time and can hold them to the same standards I hold for the best women I know and I truly admire them for their integrity and how they show up in the world. I am not attracted to any of them and don’t want a relationship with someone just like them or anything like that- but I do hold these men up as evidence that there a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:33 PM
36

I am so glad to see this here. I’ve been dating a great guy for more than a year- he has been 100% consistent and stable the entire time. But I keep looking for things to go wrong, to the point that I catch myself acting LV but being negative and critical. I think it’s good to vet and keep yourself independent regardless but also be careful that you don’t create the experience of no options for yourself. What we believe and the cognitive bias that goes with that is powerful— your brain will over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:29 PM
1

Great distinction! I call them “ham sandwiches” and “shit sandwiches” lol. I don’t eat ham, but it’s a perfectly fine sandwich for someone who does. A shit sandwich looks like a regular sandwich but there is a bit of actual shit in there. Usually tastes fine or even really good at first but sooner or later...shit. Hopefully only a tiny bit but sometimes is a huge turd👎🤭 doesn’t matter how great it looked at tasted at first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 06:31 AM
14

What’s your ideal date? One that I didn’t plan. Go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 06:13 AM
73

Two bouquets of flowers every time - one for my daughter. I have a huge garden so he went out of his way to get unique fair trade local flowers that I wasn’t already growing myself. When he noticed I didn’t have a large vase he found one in a unique style that matched my house and also got a smaller version in my daughters favorite color. Gorgeous dresses in my weird unique style and size, made out of fabric that is good for dancing in and he took them to a tailor to add pockets! It’s like they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:07 PM
9

I’m a single mom with never enough time or money. My daughter and i have a girls day together. I always buy her daffodils from Trader Joe’s for 2.99 and put them in a pretty vase. I make her chocolate chip pancakes. I’m always so busy and trying to keep up so a day where we do whatever we want all day is awesome- she soaks up the undivided attention. around 7 she was able to take care of herself while I took a long relaxing bath alone too. We stocked up on yummy snacks and junk food, watched a m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:56 AM
30

It’s passive aggressive retaliation. He is upset about something, he probably knows it’s unjustified. He is to cowardly to discuss it like an adult and it ruminating and building resentment. He probably has even convinced himself that it’s an accident and feels out upon and nagged which fuels his building indignation. It’s a cycle of his own creation but he is going to project it all in to her. Ask me how I know 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 07:04 PM
1

Email the authors, they are usually happy to send a pdf!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:38 AM
46

I saw this article and thought you all might be interested. It explores attachment, anxiety in relationships and how hot and cold behavior affects that. I kept thinking about intermittent reinforcement in animal training and realized that these “avoidant attachment” fuckbois are training us for devotion 🤦‍♀️ I’m working towards forgiving myself for my slavish devotion to the last burning trash heap I dated. Knowing that there is a very good reason my brain convinced me to stay and working toward…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:48 PM
23

May women everywhere show themselves the compassion, patience, forgiveness and understanding they previously reserved for fuckbois and toxic friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:32 AM
19

Is that what you’d like to hear? Ew. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 06:28 AM
36

Social conditioning is the short answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:32 PM
1

Wow! That’s interesting. Cool idea. I have a lot of very long hair I’d be too worried about losing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:59 AM
3

Great idea. I’m not a ring person, really, but I have a lot of nice necklaces already. Maybe it’s time to sell some of them! Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:58 AM
2

Thanks! It is a really beautiful setting, I’ll try it and see how it feels
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:55 AM
2

I hug my mom and female friends a lot. I give a lot of compliments to my female friends and mother. I hug and snuggle and compliment my daughter. I have two mini goats and two lap chickens that I dote on. I’m allergic to dogs and cats but I’ve also fostered kittens (my sofa will never be ok again) and used to have a little Yorkie. Dog was a lot of trouble so not interested again but good for snuggles. For myself- i slow down and show my body the love I’m craving. I take baths or long showers. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:58 AM
3

Sorry, what’s FMR? I just discovered nametheproblem thanks to you and I’d like to see if FMR is going to be helpful as well. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 01:02 AM
17

Oh wow, they really crammed in all the nonsense just to cover their bases. I’d say die mad about it but then they would claim I threatened their life and I’m an antisemitism homophobic terrorist or something. Lolz. Woke word salad 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 10:55 PM
3

🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 10:23 PM
37

39.5 and not lonely at all! Looking forward to being officially “no fucks 40”!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 05:17 PM
1

I never felt more beautiful than when I was pregnant. I had all the typical insecurities of a young woman raised on cosmo magazine and mtv but that fell by the wayside when my daughter was growing inside me. There is no way that isn’t amazing! I gained weight, gained more after she was born bc of the stress from my shitty husband. But it didn’t matter- I felt like a goddess. I loved my curves and huge boobs and stretch marks and even my soft round tummy. It wasn’t just because of motherhood eith…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 10:34 PM
5

Oh...I’ve seen women do it too! “I like to mind my own business” “I hate drama” “I don’t judge” “I’m really a good friend/good at keeping secrets” “I don’t gossip” These are some examples I hear regularly at the office. These are all things that shouldn’t need to be said. Men say stupid shit in dating contexts and I assume there are the pick me “cool girl” types that do the same thing. If you need to tell me you are chill then you probably are putting a lot of effort into being chill and one day…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:38 AM
27

I’m Jewish and was taught that women are the center of the home, entrusted with educating their children and are the driving force behind all goodness in the world. This is why Judaism passes down through the mothers line- it is assumed that a man is incapable of properly teaching his children. So a Jewish father doesnt have Jewish children unless they also have a Jewish mother. I had to convert bc my father is Jewish and, of course, he never bothered to teach me anything anyways. It is said tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:15 PM
20

It took 2 years of dating, five years of marriage, putting him through grad school, a pregnancy and me feeling safe enough to sink my life savings into a fixer upper. I spent two agonizing years trying to fix whatever had gone wrong and two more agonizing years getting my ducks in a row. During those towel years i had the heartbreaking task of coaching my daughter to identify her needs and speak clearly and calmly so she could advocate for herself with her dad. Because the bar is so low for fath…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 11:00 PM
1

Didn’t pay attention to the user name. Thanks for the info either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 06:09 PM
2

I see, thanks for sharing the quote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:40 PM
5

What book is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:05 PM
2

Excuse filled manipulative hobosexual drug addict turned angry stalker Charming diagnosed sociopath Good guy self involved Peter Pan Super sweet huge dick great boyfriend ultra clingy ultimately boring
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 11:30 PM
1

Thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it. This post is going to act as an extension of the journal I’ve been keeping. I’m so happy I found this subreddit. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 11:34 PM
2

I agree, thank you for your input. I’m admittedly gun-shy due to a past relationship with an addict and trying to do better for myself going forward. I don’t want to over correct either so I appreciate everyone thoughts on this. My gut tells me he is a genuinely good guy and everything I’ve learned so far has backed that up. I treat him just as well as he treats me and we both are very happy growing this relationship at a slow pace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 10:30 PM
2

Thank you for your input, I appreciate it and I think you are right👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:12 PM
1

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and giving your input! I’m so happy you found someone great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 04:17 AM
8

Wonderful to hear, this was mostly a gut check and I appreciate your input. I have a habit of seeing the best in ppl and explaining away red flags so I wanted to lay it all out here for everyone to see and advise. Thanks for taking the time to reassure me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:14 AM
15

Seconding the advice to give yourself loving physical touch- in the context of self care/pampering but also incorporate loving touch in to your masterbation (you have your face, stroke your thighs, take your time with the buildup so it’s more satisfying). Then get a weighted blanket and/or an electric blanket. Then you can take yourself out for a nice dinner, have a bubble bath and a long pampering session, get some silky jammies or enjoy being nude, spend time on pleasuring yourself, then curl …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 05:30 PM
31

I haven’t slept with him yet, but he is staying over tonight for the first time. I will keep you posted! I don’t plan on anything changing once we sleep together. In fact, I’ve made plans for Tomorrow afternoon so I have a good reason to send him on his way and be busy after he takes me out for brunch. I also scheduled a spa trip for Monday after work so I will be available to chat but not for too long. These are things I would be doing anyways but I’m using them strategically so I don’t get to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 11:03 PM
35

It took a long time and lots of mistakes to get here! I have a daughter and it’s so important for me to model a happy single mom or a mom being treated very well in a good relationship. Nothing else. She won’t meet anyone who isn’t 100% consistent for at least six months of exclusive dating (so this guy is only on week two right now) any inconsistency or flakiness or disrespect is an immediate deal breaker because I don’t want that in her life. I wish I did this for myself a long time ago, but b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:43 PM
2

Nailed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 05:58 AM
10

I told my shitty drug addicted user of a boyfriend that if he went to rehab I would wait for him and we could date again when he got clean. He was sure he could kick it on his own so I had to draw a hard limit there (I’m a fucking mother for Christ sakes!!) thank god he couldnt even do the bare minimum bc once I cut him off I came out of the haze and realized what a total loser he was. He was good looking, great in bed, we shared a rare hobby and he was better than me at that hobby, which is rar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 11:33 PM
28

Me too! Devouring everything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 11:53 PM
11

I need to find a way to print all of these amazing posts and bind them into a notebook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 07:15 PM
2

I just want to say that reading the sassy replies to deleted comments sparkles up my reddit experience. I don’t even need to see what they said, it’s all the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 12:26 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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