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necromensa Archive

View 10 posts and 47 comments by necromensa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

A silly argument over a throw pillow that she kept putting in my chair. I didn’t want it there. So stupid. I’ve traveled back in time so often and avoided that bizarre and pointless complaint but the reality is that she had set the trap and something was going to trigger it. She fell for her high school boyfriend that she has reconnected with on line and then in person. She was avoidant and I demand communication which made her feel trapped. As good as our relationship was, she felt compelled to…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 04:42 AM
1

Oh man. First of all she was beautiful. She has since the break up gotten harder and more masculine and I don’t find her as attractive but when we were together she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was sexually adventurous and not only cooperated with my various kinks and fantasies but seemed to genuinely enjoy them. And brought her own. Ultimately those impulses lead her into the arms of an affair partner but for years (to my knowledge) they were mine. She was smart. She was a …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 04:51 AM
3

Probably an outlier but it was the best 10 years of my life and I have a son that I worship. I don’t regret it. In fact, I’d do it again. It ended suddenly and catastrophically. Worst pain I’ve ever felt to date and literally almost killed me. But that was because it was so good when it was good. Divorce suuuuucks. But I’m 7 mos out and it’s beginning to feel like the next chapter could be even better in completely different ways. And a lot of the tools I’ll use to build that future were earned …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 07:15 PM
10

Love the post. I looked at mine (nearly four months in and now just waiting on finalization) recently and had this shocking realization that if I met her today I wouldn’t date her. It caused mixed emotions bc a part of me is hanging onto the memories as a happy place. The split was amicable despite being a shock for me. But, as is so common, she instantly became someone I didn’t recognize or enjoy. Happy days now out weigh the sad ones and I’m so grateful for that. Early on I was positive I woul…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 06:54 PM
-1

Hey expert raccoon, go fuck yourself. While I can certainly see that our choices have consequences, he doesn’t need to and won’t know the details. Also, I wish the worst for you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 11:37 PM
6

Please end the relationship. I’m begging you to see the deep character flaws that lead to anyone blaming a toddler for limiting her life or opportunities. You first and primary relationship is to your child. If you choose her, she will eventually leave you because you are the type of man that is so low value that you would choose pussy over your offspring.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:23 PM
9

I’m a drop off at school on Monday morning dad so I don’t see mom! But I see you back! I had my kid for spring break and we had a ball for a week! It’s gonna hurt worse as a result but worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 01:04 AM
7

The gender roles are now fully integrated meaning that both the male and female in the relationship are expected to play all roles. Provider, nurturer, partner, lover, etc. When all things are equal, the value a partner can bring is limited to either money or happiness. Most people, despite their best efforts, cannot jump many rungs up the ladder socioeconomically either through work or capturing a higher value partner. If that opportunity presents itself (example: a nurse is wooed by a doctor),…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:31 PM
12

Please choose your children. Imagine dumping them for this new relationship and then you move there and it doesn’t work out. You’ll never forgive yourself. It’s tough being dad and requires real sacrifice.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 03:58 PM
2

This is rock solid advice. Bravo. Also interesting but unrelated is how, if this comment was seen by a female audience and was a female, the advice would be “leaving the good guy is your right!” But you are correct. Every instinct this man has is the creep of a broken society and very likely pornography. He should be a man and honor his vows. A lesser perspective not often discussed is how his own self worth will erode by giving into his basest desires whether he knows it or not. The actual narr…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:51 PM
5

I was reflecting over the last couple of days about what exactly I was feeling. I’ve arrived at a deep disappointment in the fact that my love has been replaced with revulsion. She is someone I don’t recognize and, if I had met her originally in this form, I wouldn’t have even talked to her. While ultimately this will lead to healing, the vacuum left by the vanishing love and adoration is sad and uncomfortable. I miss someone that perhaps never fully even existed and I now distrust myself. This …
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 03:29 AM
2

I’m so sorry bro. For what it’s worth, we are legion.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 08:50 PM
13

As I stated, he said “momma’s friend was over last night” in context of a conversation about what he had for dinner. I didn’t ask him a thing before or after. I asked her and she admitted it. Secondly, this was after her sending pics from an outing she had done with our child that weekend earlier where I asked if it was an event or what because it looked cool and she said “invited by a new friend” so I wanted to know if there was someone regularly interacting with our child (which there was). Yo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:46 PM
4

No we have coparented successfully so far. I’ve spent more time that we agreed to probably bc she wanted to maximize her time with him. I’m very ok with that. I’ll take even more if I can get it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:13 AM
6

I’m not even sure I understand what you’re saying? Making excuses? He bested me? Insanity.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:11 AM
10

What I mean by decent is that he’s not a felon as far as I can tell. He’s a lineman and they aren’t known for keeping their dicks in their pants. But she may have spun a tale to him about how we were already divorced, etc. I don’t know and, frankly, I don’t care. My concern is the safety and well being of my child. I can’t control anything else. Hoes are gonna hoe. If i can maintain my composure and act in an upright and unbothered manner, I erode her power and narrative over time. We are alread…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 04:43 AM
20

My ex immediately went out and got a tattoo on her forearm that reads “All good things are wild and free”. That pretty much sums it up. We were extremely financially stable, had a terrific sex life, traveled extensively, and gave our only child a wonderful, rich life. We did argue occasionally and those arguments could get loud on my end. I didn’t always handle stress well and would grow irritable. But I worshipped her and could never have suspected that she was plotting her escape from what she…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 09:09 PM
9

This is exactly what happened to me. I’m not blameless because I was careless at times with how I spoke to her in arguments. But now, at the end, our entire marriage was a long slog of emotional abuse by a terrible narcissist. The reality is that our arguments made up a tiny percentage of an otherwise wonderful marriage. But she cannot see that now. I’m amazed at the capacity of her female friends to willingly drive her to bad decisions. They seem to have a mission to support her delusions. It’s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 02:06 AM
2

I believe that there definitely can be a local/cultural influence. Especially with women who are social creatures and put a high importance on fitting in and determine value through the opinion of peers. But I also think there is a larger social contagion at play here. One that isn’t being addressed directly that I can find. Women are abandoning fairly healthy relationships in droves based on an amorphous desire for fulfillment that doesn’t seem to manifest as a result of the split but this does…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 06:37 PM
2

STBX left in late Nov. I didn’t get an erection for weeks and even now it’s uncommon. Super normal. Went from having daily sex to nothing but I haven’t gotten back to even wanting it yet. I imagine this will be a huge source of stress when I begin to date again but I don’t think I’ll be doing that for a while. I’m shooting for the month per year of working through the grief etc. that’ll be +/- 10 months for me. She’s already hunting but I expect she wanted this for a long time before she pulled …
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 12:35 AM
9

Thanks my dude. I needed to hear that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 04:41 AM
5

Divorce laws are leftover sentiments of a bygone age when women were mostly stay at home wives and mothers and fathers were remote emotionally and provided income. If you were divorcing in 1950, the laws make sense. Those things are the slowest to change but the time is right and we are beginning to see a change in how this is handled on a state by state basis. The thing that should be done is for some ambitious father to create an organization of divorced dads so that we can lobby at the state …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 04:33 PM
1

This. We are so sick as a society. The children are real and you are their parent. Period.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:26 PM
3

This is the most important mission of your life. Message me with your location if need be. Build a support structure if you don’t have close friends and family around you. Join a church or faith community. It’s up to you and, you’re right, the kids will have scars but you can lessen the impact by shouldering the load. We are here for you brother. My first wife became addicted to hard drugs and abandoned the family and I raised a daughter and son on my own. It was hard but they made it and so did…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 03:58 AM
7

This is the right advice. I did not move out and she did (to family). I also did not want the divorce and continued to welcome her back home if she wished. She did not and our final agreement is now with the judge with the divorce imminent and I won the house. Do not move out. I don’t know where the idea started that the man should leave but it doesn’t apply today.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 04:16 PM
2

I think this is what breaks my heart. He is in a situation he didn’t choose and is visibly trying to navigate it without the social intelligence or experience to know what to do or why it’s happening. And it’s all even happening because she wants to “heal” and discover herself. The selfishness it takes to destroy the life of her child for her own fantasy of freedom is astounding. “He will be fine” is all she can say.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 03:36 AM
7

Fantastic comment bro! I appreciate you so much!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:42 AM
5

He’s five and soooo much fun. It’s good to remember that their little minds change all the time and he does miss his mama and that’s ok. Maybe I’m allowing myself to much vulnerability around this and it’s a good reminder. Thanks for your insight!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:42 AM
4

I’m 53 with a five year old so I’m outside the norm. He’s the light of my life and I think I just need to close some emotional gaps related to his mom. Thanks for your insight!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:40 AM
2

Thanks so much folks! I really enjoy this sub and once again you’ve set me straight! Back to the fun and here’s to being a stoic!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 12:37 AM
5

My STBX did the same and carpet bombed every friendship with her narrative. She left me. I actually get it because she must control the story in order to justify her destruction of the marriage and the effect it has on our child and general life. I actually think she believes the story now. My plan has been and remains to remain composed and largely silent. I have been the stability and calm so far (we are very close to the end). Within months her family and even friends began reaching out to ap…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 05:38 PM
2

You weren’t happy enough to take pictures or you didn’t appear happy enough in the pictures?
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 01:31 PM
5

I just want you to know that I feel what you feel. I too want my ex back while at the same time knowing that’s impossible. I think the thing to do is simply sit in it. Be. It’s ok to be sad and all the things. If you need to, you can message me. You’ll be ok. It almost sucks to hear that but we will be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 01:02 PM
4

The absolute love of my life announced three months ago she wanted a divorce. Just know that you are experiencing emotions and they don’t last. You will be building your new relationship on the ruins of your last.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 02:09 PM
18

Great video. Her sudden and absolute pivot from loving partner to aloof stranger has been far and away the most hurtful and confusing part of the break up. I have at felt like I was going insane. She seems to have completely fallen out of love in the span of an afternoon. She has sailed through the divorce process and is picking up speed as we wrap it up in a month or so. 10 years together gone in less than 3 months. It’s been a wild ride but I can begin to see healing from here. I now know that…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 06:38 PM
8

Thank you for this. I have been separated for +/- 2 months and felt a regression in my psychological well being and couldn’t figure out why. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. And thank you for emphasizing trust in God. It’s perhaps cliche, but I’ve renewed my faith journey during this time and I can also say that God is very real. This post gave me a much needed boost!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 01:54 PM
11

It’s oddly comforting to know that others are experiencing nearly identical emotions and responses to the death of an important relationship. I too have dug in and stood up for myself and the importance of the marriage. I have not vacated the home when she asked (she moved out and wanted me to leave so she could come back). I hired good, capable counsel that has thwarted her attempts to gain the upper hand so far. All of my actions (which have been in response to her decision to end the marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:25 PM
12

I’m going through a similar experience. I’m in therapy. Think of it this way: she can’t look like she made this decision because she’s an avoidant cheater. She must craft a narrative that supports the decision. And she will tell that narrative so often to herself and others that it will eventually become the truth to her…until it isn’t. Your job is to look after yourself now, as hard as that is. Examine the ways you became codependent, needy, and less masculine. It happens to many of us. Don’t b…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 03:38 AM
1

I have no idea what that even is. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:59 AM
3

Married ten years to the love of my life. She vanished overnight and has now become a pitiless, cold manipulator. I’ve never met this version. It’s so unnerving to feel both fooled and tossed aside so easily. I’m just going to focus on doing the work to figure out how to keep away from this in the future. Thanks for sharing. It’s comforting to know we are out here.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:33 AM
5

She moved out and filed and had an attorney well before me. I’m actually playing catch up. Didn’t go nuclear proactively. This is defense mode. And the house will likely need to be sold, but that will mean her business will also have to be liquidated. Complete annihilation of the life we built. Not my choice. But will not do so in hate. Only necessity due to HER actions.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 06:28 PM
2

In therapy. It’s been helpful. Thank you for the supportive words. I’m not imagining this will be a walk in the park. I just have to believe that I don’t have to allow myself to be drawn into vitriolic and destructive behavior without due cause.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 06:24 PM
5

I appreciate the well thought out advice. We have been separated (she moved in with her parents) for approx 30 days now. We both have attorneys. We have worked out a custody arrangement (though she has threatened to weaponize that recently). I have no doubt this will get ugly. I suspect some kind of silver bullet accusation though she will have to prove it. I’m not naive. I just want to be able to respect myself if she won’t respect me. It will get hard. But I intend to do my best to rise to the…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 03:03 AM
3

I have no idea how Christmas is gonna go down. Complicating matters for me is that I have no other family. Orphaned. So it will literally be me. Wild. I’m viewing this all through the lens of learning to sit in extreme discomfort and survive. As odd as that sounds. When I’m overwhelmed by the darkness, I have so far managed to step outside of myself and ask “what am I feeling? How much of this is real? How much of this am I manufacturing?” While I’m doing this with as little judgement as I can, …
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 03:03 AM
3

Second this. Have been very focused on work and now see that I need to have more balance since separating. The loneliness and idle time are enemies of my mind. I recognize that the low appetite and struggle to find enjoyment in activities is depression brought on by all of this and also that it will wane with time. But I want to shorten that time by finding activity + community. Side note: it’s comforting to see similar struggles. I also am in a community not my own (we moved to her families cit…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 12:58 AM
2

You’re absolutely right. I actually want her to have the business for any number of reasons. But I also want to be fair in the division of assets. Essentially, my goal is to have complete clarity on our assets prior to making any permanent decisions. But currently we are not talking and her stance is “let the attorneys figure it out”. That seems very dangerous. I should note that she ran our family life including day to day finances and I’m struggling to understand my own way forward when I don’…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 08:13 PM
4

Breathe. Everyday gets a tiny bit easier. Don’t fight for now. Float. This is not over for you. I’m a couple weeks in and I haven’t died yet. I slept all night last night. That is an enormous step. Am I happy? Fuck no. But I’m still here. Something that helps is to try to summon compassion for the story she’s writing. It’s not mine. I write my own story. In your case, imagine that she must tell people how they met. Or lie. Either way, her path forward begins in shame. Don’t gloat. Mourn. It’s co…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 02:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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