It’s my weekend with my son. I live for these weekends bc the house is alive and I get hugs and laughs and wrestling matches. Today we had a basketball game and his mom came. Of course he ran over to her and hugged her. We are attempting to be very amicable and co-parent well for his sake. She initiated the divorce for reasons that she has never been able to fully express. So it’s kind of still an open wound but I am working though it.
Anyway, his team wins the game and we are at home having a grand time and she texts to say “he told me four times at the game that he wanted to come home with me. It is what it is.” It crushed me. I went from having a great time to thinking that he is just here out of obligation and he’d rather be with mom. Fuck, guys. The one thing I had to look forward to is potentially spoiled because she chose to say this. Why would she even share that? How do I deal with the emotions around him being here but preferring somewhere else? I’m trying to see it through his eyes. It’s all hard for him too of course. It is possible that he likes being in both places. Am I just being a big baby? Prop me up. I got unexpectedly gutted by a stray comment. Ugh.