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warwww Archive

View 45 posts and 1,048 comments by warwww on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
115

warwww/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 06:55 PM
86

warwww/r/MGTOW12/07/20 03:26 PM
66

warwww/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:35 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 03:57 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 01:11 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 12:35 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:03 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 01:59 AM
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warwww/r/MGTOW28/04/20 04:53 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 05:07 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 02:09 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:00 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 11:40 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 02:58 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 03:45 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 12:36 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 11:54 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:12 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 11:15 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 05:36 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:59 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:31 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:43 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 03:57 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 05:32 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 02:11 PM
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warwww/r/MGTOW22/12/19 06:16 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 01:49 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:11 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 03:08 PM
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Custodywarwww/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 01:41 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 04:39 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 02:06 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:19 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 02:18 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 08:32 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 08:07 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:12 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:10 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 09:52 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:19 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 06:10 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 03:16 AM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:59 PM
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warwww/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:20 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,048 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

What about survival of the man?
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 05:24 PM
2

He probably won’t get it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 03:20 PM
1

I stopped reading at “my wife is dating”.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 03:43 AM
3

I hear you. Justice is often how the judge feels about you or the case. I’ve given up the idea of expecting any. Once you understand that judges are mere humans such as yourself with the same potential to be horrible human beings, it’ll become a bit easier to digest. Having “Honorable” in the front of one’s name does not make them a decent person.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:50 PM
5

Do they really? I get protecting people that are abusive but this heavy handed approach cannot be allowed to stand in all cases.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 09:44 PM
4

He's going to have to prove a negative. And I think we know the disposition the court will take unless he's in front a judge that has the wherewithal to call it out for what it is. When I defeated all sorts of lies the courts didn't have the gumption to call it what it is. They simply said she is "not credible".
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 09:44 PM
1

This is definitely a start Especially not disclosing the gender of each parties as to preclude any possibility of inherent or latent bias. I often wondered how would the court system look if papers did not reference genders unless it was absolutely necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 02:17 AM
1

I know that is the reality. What bothers me at least from the child’s perspective is that it should not have to come to that. The judge will never have the same level of care or level as the parents will.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 10:16 PM
-3

I won’t even. I’ll end with this as the context is still being lost I feel. I’ve had to watch my ex with glee sit in a courtroom and take pride in a judge making decisions for our kids due to her disdain for me. That’s the gist of my post, that is why I find it sad that some parents unknowingly* give up their right to raise and parent their kids as they see fit. Nowhere in my post did I not speak of men that aren’t fighting to be in their kids lives. It solely has to do with those set of parents…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 09:24 PM
-1

And I don’t disagree with any of it. It’s shitty and sad all around, for the kids especially. I just wish more parents would out their kids first to avoid the stranger in the robe. Most of the judges can truly care less about our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 08:46 PM
1

Seems like the operative words here most are misinterpreting - “giving up” I’m referring to the walk away spouses that give up on their family in turn giving up the ability to have decisions about their kids be made between the parents instead of a stranger in a robe.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 08:39 PM
0

You are missing my point!!!! I am against the same system you are against. I had to sit in court yesterday and watch a judge shrug his shoulders when I asked him “well what about my kids” How are my words being twisted? I’ve spent tens of thousands fighting to be in my kids lives Been made homeless And tons of other sacrifices And I make a post showing that there some parents that destroy their families and leave the future of their kids in the hands of a stranger How in the hell is it offensive…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 08:31 PM
0

Seems as if what I’m saying hits to a lot of nerves of what many of us divorced fathers see and go through. Somehow my post is seen as being offensive. Put yourself in the shoes of your kids is all I’m saying. I’m at least acknowledging how terrible it all is for our kids. Mods if it is offensive in any way - remove it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:52 PM
-3

You have got to be kidding me. Won’t get in the mud with you. I’ve survived a divorce what would have destroyed most men. With kids to boot. I’ve dedicated a large chunk of my time to helping fathers in these situations And you, you come here with expletives. You think I look at my kids knowing full well that a God damned stranger can do as they essentially pleases with them and be ok with it?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:49 PM
-2

Never said that. I’m looking at it from the point of those that matter most: THE KIDS You think so? How am I insulting anyone - Pray tell?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:37 PM
0

Well, I’ll give it that. Those are recognizable instances where you have good grounds to leave. Maybe I was pointing towards the more cavalier cases where things are done on a fleeting feeling or even selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:29 PM
1

Edit: I am tired of seeing many weak and gutless men defend and coddle lies. Makes me sick.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 05:37 PM
6

Truth. Just say the truth. To omit the truth is to entertain a lie; they cannot coexist in the same space. It's like trying to mix fluorine and potassium - big boom! If you want to be more sanguine about it, just tell your son what he is hearing is not the truth, it is a lie. If you coddle a lie it will become an even bigger lie ... it is a very slippery slope. I have toddlers and sometimes they come to be with untruths. In a very calm and loving way I talk with them and say "Hey, that's not tru…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 05:29 PM
5

So she used your past history against you to create a narrative that you were an army jarhead monster. They truly turn into different people. It’s a shame the courts turn a blind eye to it and accept their allegations and words as gospel.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 06:52 PM
3

My goodness. Well you were accused of the usual, just in a more creative way. So you became a delta force sniper who would lay in the bushes with his 8000x scope the instant the divorce came about?
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:42 PM
4

It can be done, but you have to understand what it is that you're doing. Copying and pasting won't work. The whole court will know that a dunderhead didn't write what you submitted. In any pleading you make, you have to make it about the kids (that should be your primary objective regardless). From my experience, if you choose to represent yourself - your work if 100X harder as no closed loop system likes an outsider coming in to show up the professionals. They hate it. You a commoner vs a bar l…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 11:00 PM
3

If you sound too smart for a self represented litigant you will be penalized harshly.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 07:29 PM
8

I am man and it's amazing that they would often throw away their families for simple ole us. We're not that amazing. Rarely would I meet a man that would throw away their family for a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 06:28 PM
3

Were you accused of the usual stuff. I.e. Abuse?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 06:27 PM
1

Careful with the labels. She just might be a terrible person. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 05:38 PM
0

I mean, while true…kids still deserve and need to be cared for. No child should ever be neglected, physically or emotionally. But to consider a next man’s child yours is mental gymnastics and borderline delusional. I want to see ALL children succeed. They didn’t ask to be here. It’s part of the reason I always stress to guys dating women or married to woman with another man’s kids in tow that they foster, like hell, that child’s relationship with their actual father. You are not the father and b…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 09:55 AM
2

I know. And I hate to see it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 02:05 PM
9

LOL - listen man. Think about your kids. I never thought my ex would flee with the kids. But she did. I never thought my ex would claim false abuse charges with respect to our kids. But she did. I never thought she would try to imprison me on absolute lies to gain fail full custody. But she did. I never thought she would weigh the kids before and after they spent time with me to “see if they ate”. But she did. I’m going to be straight with you. You are delusional right now and risk not being abl…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 12:35 PM
20

No. The child is not yours. You may well help to raise the child but at the end of the day the child belongs to someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 04:50 PM
4

No offense but what you typed reads as “all the reasons why I cheated and their justifications”. There’s a lot of things to be forgiven of and for in life but sharing your body when you’ve made vows to another is not one of them. That is muddied water that can never be filtered.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 04:16 AM
4

my gosh, what a situation to be in. That would put me in bed for a week. The other poster below is correct, she would feel no shame and society would more than likely blame you for not being the father although she cheated 2 months into the marriage. "It's his fault his sperm couldn't make it there first." You have to find a way to bring the truth to the light without affecting the boy too much. In fact if it were me, I'd sit her down and tell her that you know and that you'd be willing to help …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 02:28 PM
10

If you touch him, 100000% you are going to jail, right away. Just ask him - who helped to make those kids? Who's dna runs through their veins? Tell him to knock it off and make some kids of his own if he's so passionate about it. But please don't put your hands on him, as tempting as it may seem it will ruin your life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 06:29 PM
1

Just invest in a good pair of AirPods. I can’t be bothered by the things I can’t hear.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 05:40 PM
3

Not abuse you say? Imagine a man were doing these things to a woman, would you say the same thing? Well, if the guy was married while the home was purchased. Esp if they were married for four years prior, I highly doubt that 70% down figure would hold up in court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 08:10 AM
1

Once I saw California in the title I immediately knew he was screwed. Don’t even need to read the details surrounding the case.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 05:59 PM
2

Can you explain better what happened?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 10:12 PM
2

Yup, she was willing to literally kill you for the fleeting thought of going to go have sex with other men and run off to some fairy la la land. You are worth being with someone who won’t do those things to you. Think you would be able to peacefully sleep beside her again?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 02:41 PM
5

Kids get bumps and scrapes all of the time. If you go down this path you run the risk of doing what most ex spouses do: trying to find reasons to alienate or take away custody. If it’s extreme then of course but for bumps and scrapes…. Nah. Growing up as a kid I got a new scrape and bump most everyday, twice on the weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 08:10 PM
18

Umm buddy, if you don’t either record or go and file immediately with the police, you WILL be labelled an abuser, removed from your home and be left for dead as the system will believe her without a second thought. God help you if she goes the police station looking disheveled and starts crying, 100% you’re getting arrested.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 10:03 AM
10

Ask yourself if it was the other way around - would it be illegal then? You are a human being with dignity. Protect it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 12:45 AM
1

Yes, yes they did and I have that in audio recording.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 02:07 PM
3

Why has it been 3 months since she moved out of state? Mines tried to move our kids one hour away to suit her needs and I was filing the next day.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 11:41 AM
1

I’ll never forget the words from the judge: “I don’t understand why Mr.wwww is soo fixated on 50/50 custody” It’s as if his brain couldn’t understand the concept that some of us fathers, most! - Actually love our kids and want to parent them. It was an eye opener for me. Ps. I grew up without a father and a lot of those days were hell on earth.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 04:15 AM
8

It’s a shame when it comes to this - I just wish they’d leave with dignity more often. If you want to leave, ok cool - Just leave in peace. No need to try and ruin someone’s life on the way out. That is often where animus enters the picture.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 05:02 PM
2

What happens when the kids are living with their father? Palace vs poverty? Where possible, kids deserve safe and comfortable living accommodations by both parents. Often when guys decide to live in cardboard boxes thinking they’re doing their kids a favor, 9/10 it comes back to bite them in the butt.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 05:11 AM
2

Yup, you’re getting setup in real time. Go to your nearest police station so you can have it on record what’s happening so when she does accuse you, at least you can say you preempted her allegations of abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 08:27 PM
2

You have options dude. Even in la la land this couldn’t be allowed to stand.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 01:21 AM
15

Imagine you get a harmless rash somewhere. You’d be wondering if you caught anything. Not worth the mental torture.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 07:08 PM
11

Big no from me. Absolutely not. Not worth the guilt I would feel afterwards. “How could I have done this to myself.”
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 06:31 PM
-3

Why would a judge rule in her favor just because she is a woman?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 06:27 PM
1

LOL
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 03:50 AM
1

She gave a laundry list of credits which all favored the ex. She attempted to wash all debts that my ex racked up as for the kids. She attempted to suggest back child support existed when it was denied. She took her 401k off the table. She started off by suggesting that she is entitled to 60% of the equity (overall by default). The list goes on. It was terrible and honestly offensive.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 10:03 PM
2

This is horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 05:14 PM
10

If you touch him you’re going to jail 100%. Just tune him out and focus on your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 08:33 PM
1

It’s all marital. It was the mediators suggestion. The mediator did her best to try and convert all of my ex spouses debt she incurred after leaving the marital home into shared debt (she went on a spending spree under the guise of it being for the kids). She further attempted to apply back child support from 2022-2024 when the judge had ordered none. (She requested child support in Jan 2023 and the judge denied it). At this time she was actively withholding the kids and playing games with the c…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 07:28 PM
2

My head is still spinning. It is so direct and in my face that I had to look in the mirror and question my self. It was if I was in a room with two of her lawyers, I could not objectively tell them apart.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 11:02 AM
2

Understood. I did my due diligence and called every major heloc company and all said the same. That two signatures are necessary. When I bring this up everyone goes silent. Between that and mentioning that my ex pay child support, the mediators face turned red.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 10:47 AM
2

That is true… mediator is twisting it to suggest that it is more than likely to be imposed as she herself was a judge at one point.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 04:13 AM
7

I despise people that pull that crap. It wastes everyone’s time. To me it’s like a character defect.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 03:33 AM
9

Yeah but if you’re suggesting 93/7 you’re just wasting everyone’s time. I wouldn’t even try to take 93% of something from an enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 03:25 AM
4

The mediator looked flummoxed when I mentioned fraud - like I spoke a different language. I will have to hire a lawyer. There’s only one way she could have gotten that heloc. I was absolutely on the mortgage title.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 03:02 AM
3

Ok ok, I can understand that. I guess I’m still shellshocked that a mediator who’s an ex judge could suggest that a 93/7 split would not only be acceptable but within public policy. Especially when one party took out a heloc loan in secret against the home and pocketed a good chuck saying “it was for the kids.”
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:38 AM
12

The more I look at her notes the worse it gets. Is this the current state of family law in the US system? The mediator did everything in her power to defend and obfuscate for the other party - it’s so bad that I don’t know if it’s the mediator or the other sides lawyer that wrote it. The lines are so blurred it defies belief.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:17 AM
4

Judge pulled from a list.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:12 PM
17

I agree, it's just a shock to me to see how someone can write that. And she ends with: "You two should enjoy your beautiful children". How can I parent effectively If I'm being forced into destitution while the mother takes everything?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:45 PM
12

Equally insulting was this line from her notes: "If the TRO request were frivolous a TRO would not have been granted. That a judge following a hearing determined there was no need or a final restraining order". False allegations almost cost me my life and to see that in writing is out of this world to me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:25 PM
8

We both agreed to not touch each other retirement during an ISC but*** she deceived the courts which I placed on record thereafter as she withheld funds she had already taken out by getting HELOC against the house. This was not found out until after the ISC. My argument is going to be that she straight up committed fraud and those tainted agreements need to be taken aback, not out of buyers remorse but because they were borne out of fraud.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:18 PM
8

To be honest, it is discouraging. How could someone think it ok to leave one parent destitute financially while the other walks away with everything essentially? Was hoping fairness would prevail but I don't have a choice but to take it trial/court. I'd rather a judge write down on a piece of a paper that "The Defendant be awarded 6.8% of the marital estate." I mean, am I not a parent as well?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:16 PM
5

Some are valid but the ones that are pure nonsense: Credit card debt that she racked up in 6 months post leaving: over $35,000 She's including back child support (judge ordered none) She wants to keep her retirement out of the funds to be distributed. An almost endless list.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:09 PM
11

Correct. Other side is claiming credits that are so out of this world that it doesn’t make sense. Also is adding back child support into their settlement numbers when the judge ordered none. Typical silver bullet divorce involving false allegations where she kept the kids away from me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:04 PM
5

As a man, I’d cringe inside if another man’s child chose to call me their father over their own biological father. I’d do EVERYTHING within my inner being to ensure that child actually had a relationship with their real father, the one who’s blood runs through their veins and will show up on their family tree for all eternity. I’m not a replace-a-dad. I’ve been in that situation before it was terrible and one of the worst feelings I can recall and we were only seriously dating at the time. Her g…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 02:23 PM
9

There’s no way I could be a judge and in good faith sit up on a podium in a black robe, and watch a parent, could be any gender, literally fight to the point of emotional destruction and financial ruin just to be in their kids life. I can do many things except that.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:31 PM
25

Custody battles are usually the result of one parent wanting full control of a child or children. If the starting point were equal parenting time family most court lawyers would go out of business overnight. An entire legal industry would collapse.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 05:16 AM
2

Agreed. And it doesn’t take much to move the needle to unlock the latent cheating chromosome. 😅 It’s like going from $1 to $3 in most cases. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 03:14 PM
2

Good luck, buts it’s crazy when a case has to go to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 12:18 PM
1

I’m not learned enough to say that it cannot happen. But to methodically cheat or act in a very stepped way to betray your spouse is perhaps a different area of thought I cannot understand. Maybe the chemicals in the drugs unlock latent character traits. 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 01:19 AM
1

Did this happen in the US?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:46 PM
1

Ok, I can understand where you’re coming from as I do believe some can induce depression or suicidal thoughts. But to suggest that a medicine can cause you to book a hotel room, sneak around and blow up your family is a stretch to me. Unless it is suggested that these medicines unlock a latent cheating chromosome in their system.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:43 PM
9

I refuse to blame medication on terrible behavior or infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 02:59 PM
2

I slept in my car to be able to afford being able to fight to be in my kids life in a meaningful way. Why did I have to fight? The time we spend together where I’m able to comfortably be a father to them makes it all worth it. It’s a shame that most know we’d spend ourselves broke fighting simply for time with our kids and exploit it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 01:23 AM
5

Here's the thing. You are up against a person who is hell bent on taking away your parenting time by any means necessary, even if that means damaging your daughter by either exaggerating or outright lying. As terrible as it is, see it as some saving grace that you were not accused of S.A'ing your daughter. That sort of allegation would destroy the lives of both you and your daughter, if not now then in the future. I remember for a long time I would send emails to myself sort of preempting what s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:46 PM
2

How do judges think of this as being in any kids best interest?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 10:14 PM
9

Understood 100%. But the rub is that she makes more than me. I think I’ve given up on trying to be reasonable at this point… and will just proceed to trial if that means closing this chapter of my life properly. It’s also wild to see people use kids as objects when discussing equitable distribution. Makes me sick to my stomach.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 11:29 AM
3

How does that make sense when one person is starting off from a rational standpoint?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 12:06 AM
2

No, she wants the entire amount + what stands to be split. She is saying that I owe her $58,000 with all of the frivolous claims for equitable distribution.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 11:50 PM
0

As an example the amount to be split is 105,000. She is suggesting that I owe her $58,000
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 11:30 PM
4

Sometimes it is as cut and dry. Married for ~4 years. Bought a home together. Had Two Kids. She filed for divorce. I was sad for the kids but happy to get out of it. She lied and said she was severely battered and abused. Lied and said the same for the kids TRO Entered - What should have been 2 weeks turned into 68 days and she added to it. (Citing in one line that I used my toxic masculinity against her). She petitioned the court for CS and Spousal Support. (Court denied both given her level of…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 11:29 PM
12

I stopped reading at “I would have kept the child even if it wasn’t mines.”
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 07:08 PM
1

My apologies if it came across that way. I’ve spent years fighting against the same narrative that we are somehow all abusers. It almost made me physically ill to try and figure out why a court would default to that position. Even now it still wanders through my head why these systems automatically assume men to be the perpetrators of crimes or scenarios that simply hasn’t occurred. I’ve been through the rungs of hell and back and sometimes revisit against my own will every time there’s an attem…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 07:05 PM
6

You’ve managed to denigrate and reduce man to nothing more than a Godless beast like monster only capable of death and bruteness. Tired of hearing that narrative. Have a good day.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 06:57 PM
1

Did you ask them to explain why you?
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 06:51 PM
2

You are allowing her to define your worth as a father. That is a terrible and common mistake many men here make. I.e you are allowing her opinion to matter. If she were any other person in the street would you hold any weight as to what she says? You need to let go of latent feelings for her. She is simply someone you had sex with and beautiful and incredible kids came into the picture. Thank her for that and draw the line there. My ex could write a 10,000 page about my parenting but if my kids …
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 11:12 AM
5

Kids need to be taught how to be kids, not to learn how to treat a man or woman. I want my kids to be themselves and grow into their own as kids. They aren’t here for my amusement or emotional support. As you’ve witnessed above. She’s your ex, quit trying to please her. Focus on your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 11:57 AM
2

I tend to think there’s a special and sacred bond between a child who carries ones dna. The same as it is between a mother who births a kid. When I hold my kids knowing that they’re half of me, that’s a different type of feeling imo. But maybe that’s just me. Not to say that you can’t learn to love a kid that’s not yours, it happens absolutely! I’ve dated women with kids I’ve cared strongly for. There are many states where even if dna testing proves that the man is not the father he is permanent…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 02:57 AM
2

You’re missing the point. “omg, lol” Nobody mentioned dna testing the mother. That’s outright stupid and just plain dumb. Meaning that there should be a dna test performed before child support can be ordered. Would eliminate many woes in society and prevent men from unknowingly supporting kids that are not theirs.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 02:38 AM
2

As you should be. I’d be livid myself There’s honestly no reason to do this to any parent. All any of us want to be is a parent to our kids. It’s really that simple. To parent them, help them in their upbringing, teach them, love them etc. Why is any of this necessary? It’s heartbreaking really the way they treat kids as if they are some possession to be fought over. Please see if you can get what he said to you or is inferring in writing. Any justness in a system designed for profit and conflic…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 05:10 AM
2

Wow - so they are expecting you to abandon your kid? Can you somehow get that in writing so they may be exposed? It’s par the course though. I had a mediator (ex female judge) ask the same. I said to her, would you ask the mother that? No real response. Ps, to this day I still don’t know what a “mother state” is. I’ve read through tons and tons of family law material and haven’t come across it. Those who work within the system seem to recognize it, odd I don’t see it any in laws or statutes. 🤷🏽‍…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:58 AM
6

I have a feeling my words will fall flat. Do you truly think that the reason most fathers have less than equal time with their kids are because they are either criminals or because there is something which prevents them from being a stable parent? Am I understanding you correctly? Do you know how many government officials within the family court and social system told me not to even “fight” for joint custody seeming that the state I live in is a “mother state” (their words, not mines)
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 03:54 AM
8

Huh? Due to criminal issues? How in the hell did you make that jump? My gosh. Criminal issues? Are men disposed to being criminals by default?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 03:38 AM
18

Why does one parent have to fight for equal parenting time in the first place?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 02:29 AM
2

Well in all fairness and given the levels of proportionality, most things appear to work against men. It is not politically correct to say that these things do. I recall a female judge (retired) telling me in not so many words that “I am big, smart and strong…” Imagine a male saying this to a woman within the context of accepting less in a settlement offer. We as a society dare not even broach the subject of mandatory dna testing - who does that affect most?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 01:06 AM
4

My divorce mediator seems to disagree and got visibly flummoxed when it came up. 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 12:35 AM
6

Does this disproportionately affect men?
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 11:21 PM
3

Time. Time is often the only way to counteract this. This is why so many abusive parents often aim for full custody. Who then can counteract the poison being pumped into the mind of a kid? Time and the fact that your kid can see that you are nothing as the parent describes is the antidote to this sick ailment.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 05:59 PM
9

Excellent reply. Wish her well and completely move on. Rapid acceptance is what more men on this board need to practice.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 12:50 PM
2

You are an outlier. Good for you nonetheless.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 04:17 AM
3

Ask the other parent to release said chains around his neck then…. No way I can claim to care about my kids and then in the same vein drag their mom down into a state of destitution.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 06:45 PM
2

Absolutely not. I hate the drivel that is men are always supposed to compress and sink deep whatever pains we are feeling - I.e. suck it up. It’s is not abandoning them, it is escaping a situation that is leading this man to an early grave. It’s not 1950 anymore, men are humans with feelings and emotions, no? Imagine if the roles were reversed, would you genuinely say this to a woman? This is not simply a “financial issue”. This is literally a chain around this man’s neck for the rest of his lif…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 03:04 PM
6

You are the needle in a haystack. Even when the man is the lesser earner the system contorts and bends to find a way to either make him pay or make the other spouse not pay as much. 1/1000 does not denote a system that is not rigged. Even a fish net lets a few fish through - doesn’t mean that it is not 99% effective.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:56 PM
3

Depending on their ages really. If they are young. Tough it out but if they are older… well. I wouldn’t want my kids to see me living my life as a slave.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:54 PM
9

Who allowed these laws to be enacted? 4-5 years I can understand. Even then it is pushing it. But lifetime alimony is literally a life of slavery. This man is literally a slave to this woman. If he stops paying then he’s threatened with violence from the state and whisked off to prison where he’s surrounded by actual violent criminals. Again, who drafted and allowed these laws to take hold?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 12:13 PM
3

THIS right here. My ex makes 2x more than me and my God the way the mediator contorted, twisted and tried to snake around this when the topic of child support came up blew my mind. She was just as much an advocate for her as her own lawyer. I was blown away. Anyone who tells you that there aren't double standards needs to be laughed out of your presence. Either they are being intentionally obtuse or just as learned as a rock.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 05:28 PM
1

How about go to Ireland first and then think about it while there😅. Don’t let analysis paralysis stop you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 06:06 AM
3

I know man, trust me. Make your pain worth it. Get something from it. Treat yourself. Take a trip somewhere, learn something new. Go grab a movie. Go to the mall, get a new pair of shoes. Volunteer at a soup kitchen… It’s a large list.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 06:00 AM
4

It happens to the best of us. Trust me. You’re human. Be easy on yourself. It’ll be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 05:58 AM
7

Not even worth it man. Only focus on your kids if you have them with her. There are billions of women in the world. Just as she found another, so can you. There is someone out there who will love you. You’re not going to find her if you’re still tripped up over your ex. It is now the other guys turn. Respect that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 05:53 AM
5

But he can get that from a childless woman, no? What he's referring to is the amount of time, energy, love and resources poured into kids that don't recognize it. He could have poured this into his very own kids - He wouldn't feel this bad right now. Men aren't normally wired to take care and sacrifice for another man's kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 05:50 PM
3

Their eyes will glaze over. They’ll still view him as an anomaly. All of what he described earlier will be viewed as an act as those are seen as things not reserved for fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:06 PM
2

Yeah, even here you’d sometimes get similar trope. I was going to respond with it’s the way society simply is but yours was more succinct.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:04 PM
2

To the mysterious lab person Here’s the YouTube link https://youtu.be/RlSwsE22nX0?si=H86PwZVss8z4eGqM Starts at 4:00 minutes in. Listen to the words of a woman and a mother to boot, highlight what I said. Smdh.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:38 AM
1

You still didn’t answer my question. It’s as if you can’t even say it. It’s hilarious. It’s like your mind broke into two pieces when I said that my father knew my shoe size and my mother didn’t more often than not. LOL - As if that’s an incredulous situation. Your mentality shows. Notice I won’t call you any names or demean you but my gosh does it show. I had to edit to LOL again. So because my father knew these things and my mother didn’t it must be made up? LOL One more Lol before I go to bed…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:18 AM
1

So you call me “dense and a liar” - haha, incredible. didn’t take long for you to resort to name calling. A damn shame. I remember a female divorce attorney did a Ted talk on why fathers are important. She raised the same point with the father not knowing the shoe size and how she would use that against him in court… she opined on how many other countless things that the father contributed to that mothers simply cannot hold a candle to when she reflected on her career. Fathers have value man.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:10 AM
1

Still didn’t answer my question.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:01 AM
1

Saying the word hell and lol doesn’t take away from what I said. Again, did that make my mother a bad parent? And yes, lol in hell or whatever that means. An active parent does far more than just put shoes on their kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 03:57 AM
1

My mother didn’t know my shoe sizes for a large part of my childhood. It was my father that often bought my shoes during my visitation. Guess who taught me how to do the following: Swim Ride a bicycle Taught me how to deal with adversity How to drive a car How to roller blade Parts of a different language List goes on…. Does that make my mom a bad parent (and I think she did the best she could) or does this only apply to fathers?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 03:46 AM
1

Meaning he began to doubt his parenting capabilities as a father because he didn’t know it even though he’s been far more influential in his kids lives vis a vis the other parent. And yes some men can lose custody over this simple question. The bar/threshold is much lower for men in terms of losing or gaining custody.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 02:54 PM
3

They’d just build more prison facilities….the spice must flow. Heck they’d even lock up their own sons if they fall victim to similar fates.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 04:01 AM
3

Yes, especially if they are experiencing growth spurts. My gist was that it is the common trope in the courtroom for the father to be asked: “What’s little Johnnys shoe size?” If he can’t answer…well we know how that goes. Never mind he could have helped to teach his son how to read, write, cope with his emotions, fish, ride a bicycle, etc…. That one question in family court can cost a father gravely.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:50 PM
1

Ha, I’ll do you one better. I was the one who filed the motion and literally didn’t get the chance to say 4 words. But the other party, with a lawyer - all the time in the world. Prior to going pro se, I wrote 90% of my motions with my attorney putting her letterhead atop and fared relatively well as I did my best to make the court uncomfortable in exerting bias. Risky, but I had no choice to have the court explain to me how it would be in the best interests of our kids to have them grow up in a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 04:49 AM
1

An important question.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 10:30 PM
1

Work what out? She tried, and failed to label you an abuser. What is the threshold for you? Having her accuse you of s.a’ing your own daughter?
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 10:57 PM
5

Her lawyer benefits to the tune of several hundred dollars per hour for her to be unreasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:24 PM
3

Huh? But it is your legal document that’s necessary for let’s say, travel. What if you had a parent that lives abroad and you had to visit would a judge not force or compel her to give you back your passport? I’m 8000% sure if a woman walked into a police station and courthouse and said her husband was withholding her passport there’s some law they can cite to remedy that, you’d be labelled an abusive monster. You are a human as well, please go and get your passport sir.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 01:15 PM
2

The one thing you can and should be able to sue for is your passport. I’m not sure how she’s allowed to steal that from you?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:57 PM
2

I know, I’ve been through it. Trial and all. Judge called her a liar in the most legally polite way. It was refreshing to meet a judge that wasn’t afraid of telling a woman that they were terrible for using the system to attempt to gain an advantage in a custody dispute.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:56 PM
2

But the courts cared enough to grant her a restraining order based on lies - I’m just trying to show the disparity here.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:16 PM
8

Many here wishes their wives would have left before having kids. Consider yourself lucky. Now you get a chance to find someone that may hold true to their vows and would love to start a family. Now you get a chance to be married and*** start a family of your own. Since the vows mean very little to her, don’t hate here just treat it as a simple boyfriend/girlfriend breakup….get the process over with as quickly as possible without animus and move on very quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:08 PM
2

You’re probably going to get a restraining order entered against you if she goes to the police and gets a bit emotional there. Prepare yourself. If she puts a dv restraining order on you, that prohibits you from asking her for your money back. Heck you can’t even take her to small claims court as she’ll be considered a victim. That’s actually a really clever way to rob a man. Take his stuff, file a restraining order against him which prevents him from asking for his stuff back and suing you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:07 AM
2

Wow, so you called the police when she was being unstable around you and they did nothing?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:04 AM
3

That’s all well and good. But imagine the officials that make these determinations say the following: 1) From the judge: “Why is he fighting so hard to be in his kids lives?” 2) From the police: “Well sir, this state is a mother state so there’s not much you can do.” 3) From the social worker: “This state tends to favor mothers so you don’t have much recourse.” All of which I’ve heard. It’s one thing to be on edge and another to hear these things and not believe them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 06:34 PM
9

Ah, yes. The revolving door of sexual partners. I’ll never understand why people have kids and put them through this crap. Reminds me of the post a short while ago where the two teenage boys living with their mom couldn’t sleep at night as they had to hear their mom having sex through the wall by the new guy. Almost every night. Guess who they don’t have a relationship with? These things are absolutely wild to me. I remembered when my mom did the same as a kid, I prayed to God to please let me l…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:48 PM
4

Fathers don't matter. We're just needed for sperm. Afterwards, the state takes over. /s As I explained to an ex judge yesterday... "I feel like I have to live looking over my shoulder as you guys can and will take away my kids at any moment." Her response was that it's "all in my head..." I'm certain many men feel the same way. I remember when I was first fighting to my last penny to be my kids life that I was afraid to leave my toddlers inside and take the garbage out to the road as that may be…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 06:00 AM
4

You financial abuser you! How dare you not handover some of your money! A real man would sacrifice himself. 😅 /s Sounds like she was on the verge of fraud to gain access to the proceeds of your home sale.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:59 PM
1

I remember it all too well. When my ex fled the house under false allegations of abuse in an attempt to gain full custody it really hurt me coming home to an empty house. I was ecstatic she was gone but she knew my soft spot was our kids and that I loveeeee being a father. I had to take down all the photos of them in the house just to make it through the days as she continued to withhold them from me for close to 4 months. I filed an emergency motion to restore contact, the judge didn’t see it a…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 05:49 PM
14

I’ll never understand whey some guys are hell bent on trying to hijack another man’s kids. Will always be weird to me. The amount of mental gymnastics must be exhausting Do they not know that it is impossible for that child to ever be theirs? In no universe, alternate realm or dream could it happen. Why not recognize that the real father is in their lives and pay the respect forward in that regard. My lizard brain will never understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:08 AM
1

Calling the police will probably get you arrested if they go to your home as they’ll automatically take her side. Once the tears start flowing, 100% you’re getting arrested. It’s best to go and file a police report and confirm with your lawyer that you can remove and discard of them as I presume* you have a dignified right to privacy within your own home. “She had to put them up because she’s in fear of her life and you removing them allows you to become abusive.”
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 11:23 PM
1

Therapist said to put fiancée and her kids first?
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:10 PM
2

No no, this has nothing to do with her. Think of what is best for your daughters. Your ex is a fully grown adult person. I was expecting you to say they are 2 and 3. I have a 6 and 4 year old. She tried the same stunt when they were 3 and a little over a year. My daughter had no problems adjusting to me putting her to bed, changing diapers, preparing bottles, feeding her, making the baby food, ensuring that she take daily naps, ensuring car seats were properly installed, ensuring that I always h…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 01:49 PM
1

What’s her basis though? Her thoughts and feelings?
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 01:38 PM
1

Why gradual? Help us to understand that part. Are your kids breastfeeding? Have your kids not seen you in years? Did you work and come home when they were asleep and not seen them for years (I.e. did your work schedule not line up with your kids being up to where you missed seeing them for months/years even though you lived in the same house?)
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 01:32 PM
11

Sounds like he’s about to be accused of domestic violence. I’m surprised you weren’t accused of it when you caught her hiding in the crawl space talking to her boyfriend while the kids were left unattended. This is usually the wash card when an affair is discovered or when custody is being aimed in your direction.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 12:48 PM
6

It's because she knows the judge will have a twinge in terms of giving her assets over to you but not on the opposite side - your funds will cross that ledger at the speed of light however. What most fail to realize is that entitlement is often always supported by a higher up authoritative figure. If historically this weren't true, there's no way they'd feel entitled during a divorce. It just wouldn't happen. If I knew the law would only hand me down a week to rob a bank, think I'd be disincline…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 11:30 AM
1

At that point you’re living in fear. That’s no way to live.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 04:55 AM
2

You’re setting yourself up for failure if you automatically assume that judges are smart. They are human just like us and carry with them their own set of prejudices. You’ll find out when you hear a judge say “well, as long as the mother is happy then the child will be happy” Is there anything smart in the above statement?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 04:54 AM
3

Whoa, wait a minute here. Why do I see so many men relegating themselves to sleeping in their trucks or cars when the house they live in is equally theirs? If she’s causing so much grief and strife in the house, what makes her ineligible to sleeping in her car? What makes you as a man, less of a person to think you don’t deserve proper shelter?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 01:37 AM
5

Why can’t she move into her car? Why must you move into your truck?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 12:12 AM
21

Worst part is that he could wear 10 bodycams but he’s still going to be removed from his house when she goes to the police station and says she’s in fear of her life. He needs to keep a small bag packed so he’s prepared when he’s kicked out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 11:01 PM
17

He’s about to be accused of domestic violence.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 09:53 PM
2

Yup my attorney told me that in New Jersey for a man to get 50/50 custody is a HUGE win. Why are judges still ascribing to minimizing the role of fathers in a child’s life. Do they not see the stats out there? Every single criminal I know came from a f’ed up home where no biological father was present. It’s not the rule but it’s been my experience. Please stay in your kids life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 02:31 AM
6

Yup, can relate. It’s tough to see your kids go from having their own rooms, a nice backyard to roam. In to a cramped apartment. I just try to make the most of it and fill whatever space we have with lots of love and memories. “My happiness” leaves a trail of destruction that lasts for generations.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 10:10 AM
9

Insane to me that kids often pay for the failures of there parents in this regard. I guess the human ego will always win.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 09:53 AM
2

Not all, just the ones with mental disorders. It takes a sick and unwell person to feign and allege falsities on their own kids. The same as some men on occasion. All in all, I’d say most, not all, are here because we choose very poorly. That doesn’t absolve them but we need to take accountability for letting terrible l, disloyal and dishonest people into our lives.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 05:03 AM
5

Yeah it’s insane that we as society green-light it. The damage done is generational and nobody seems to bat an eye. Imagine a child even believing that they were beaten or harmed by a parent just so the other parent can get custody. That can absolutely ruin that child’s mental state into adulthood and beyond. You’ve essentially changed the trajectory of that child’s life in a very negative way. Society sickens me in the way they handle what is done to kids during these court cases.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 04:56 AM
9

I read this as “keep still, don’t move - stay right there while I prepare my weapons.”
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:37 AM
4

Ever watch the movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith?” You have worth and dignity. And because you espouse to those things… let her continue leaving you. She’s made her feelings towards you very clear.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:14 AM
2

What triggers them to go to these lengths when clearly they did not want the relationship? I don’t understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:26 PM
8

Can you blame her though? She knows she has the full backing of the system behind her. In her mind, that was a very generous offer considering the power she wields. All it takes is one false allegation and your life is over.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:15 PM
18

You would be surprised the depths of depravity. It would make Satan blush Some men here have been accused by their ex wives during a divorce of molesting their young daughters. Imagine living in that hell.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 03:14 PM
1

Par for the course. Take the time to process it, heal and move on. Practice radical acceptance.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:51 PM
1

How come when we try it… it doesn’t work? 😅
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 08:31 PM
2

Well hopefully. I’m just afraid she’ll start to cry as she did in our last mediation session when the mediator suggested splitting a bill and the judge will award her everything. That’s my only fear.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 03:42 PM
3

Yeah, it was just eye opening the level of greed especially when you sacrificed so much for that person. I try to be a fair person and have no issue splitting assets down the middle so everyone can move on with their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 10:31 AM
5

Tell that to my ex 😅. She wants 98% of all assets.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 02:23 AM
17

Water neat. 😎
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:04 AM
2

Water! Anddddd Juice! 😎
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 03:32 AM
10

Mannn, this is a good thing. It’s better they leave early. As I always say - Let them leave post haste! Godspeed. Vows? Lmao xoxo The real damage is when they try to leave and take your stuff and destroy your life on the way out.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:16 PM
4

Why is this such a typical scenario? I’m almost 40 years old and I have never seen a man do this to a woman- why do the courts rubber stamp this without second thought? This man has two options - fight like his life depends on it just for equal time with kids that are also his….or be relegated to an uncle father. Who here can say that family courts aren’t against fathers by default?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:29 AM
1

Huh? We must be looking at different stats. How in the hell are you going to ignore a huge swath of data? Esp to is that have lived and grown up in such environments?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:42 PM
5

Preserve your dignity and just walk away man. You’re overthinking this. You have value and worth. Exercise it. If he were a smart dude he’d be able to connect the dots and realize she’s still married. That or he knows and doesn’t care. Please just let her go, for your own dignity and respect.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 10:59 AM
7

Why do you persist with this trope? Yeah there may be some bitter dudes here but I can assure you most are upset with the way the courts treat them with regard to their kids. Imagine one being upset about losing a sexless, loveless and disrespectful marriage full of infidelity - lol We are mostly hurt about the instability our kids face in the event of a divorce. Look at the current case on trial in the media - allegedly the man stayed in a damn miserable and toxic marriage for the sake of his t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 10:37 AM
14

How can you say she’s a good woman if she’s cheating on you? You’re still pedestalizing’ her. There are literally millions of other beautiful loyal women out there who are better by far in all metrics. Let her go, set her free, wish her well and move on. You have worth.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 10:30 AM
2

She’s going to get him out and a judge will aid her. A short trip to the nearest police station, some tears and an absolute demonic lie that she “feels in fear of her life” and he will have a restraining order issued against him faster than he can blink. If he chooses to stay, which he should as he’s just as much human as she is in terms of being entitled to stay in his home then he must protect himself.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 04:24 AM
-3

I never said anything about vaccines being bad, just that the other parent needs to know so they can make an informed decision together.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 02:16 AM
-8

Look, I know we want to support each other here but this isn’t about two old and grown adults. Yes we should always do right by the kids but a parent should at least know what is going on with their kid medically. That way second and third opinions can be had. Remember, our old and gray haired, slow as shit, wrinkly asses don’t have to live with these decisions, our kids do. Think of them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 09:43 PM
-4

This is why divorce sucks for kids. Parents bickering back and forth, threatening each other with court actions, who gets to do what. Just a damn shame. But more to your point op, I think it’s only fair that you mention to the other parent anything that involves intravenous medicine unless it’s emergent. As I parent I would want to know what drugs/medicines/vaccines are going into my kids body. I don’t think it’s fair to label this as anti vax. A parent would want to do the research first and co…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 05:10 PM
4

Trust me. Many here do not hate women. Most despise a system where a man can hear the guillotines being built outside the courtroom while he’s talking. Many men here were accused of atrocious things during their divorce process. Many men here had to go into debt to be an active father in their kids lives Many men here have had their kids withheld from them for months or even years. Many men were not even allowed to speak during a court hearing Many men have had to choose between basic shelter or…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 12:45 PM
3

It’s easier said than done when most of us know it would absolutely ruin and destroy our kids if we were to move and start anew. Read the stats on kids being raised in single mother homes? I know the ills all too well. I was raised in one. Who will your child run to in their time of need? When I was getting stomped on the ground like a dog by my mom’s boyfriend as a 11/12 year old boy I couldn’t run to my father as he was an ocean away. I had nobody to protect me. I couldn’t do that to my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 01:34 AM
12

The worse they treat you, the easier it becomes. You only need to falsely accuse me of domestic violence one. 🤨
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 05:24 PM
1

Kids do grow up. I can remember exactly, even at my old age every negative thing that was said to me about my other parent. And that was roughly 30 years ago. It doesn’t register as much when you’re growing up. It is only when you mature and jog your memory where things fall into place and realize what was done to you mentally. Imagine being told half of you is faulty or inadequate? It’s tantamount to calling that child a partial failure. It’s terrible and wrong. Kids are humans as well - I thin…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 09:42 AM
17

When she locked herself in the room with the kids claiming she was in fear of her life…. Mind you, I never as so much raised my voice at that person from the day I met her. She was angling for full custody claiming she was an abuse victim. I saw the signs leading up to that event as she knew I wouldn’t budge on me having time with our kids. I recorded every attempt at her trying to bait me. I still have the recording of her behind that room door saying “she’s in fear of her life”. It was an eye …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 11:49 PM
1

Ah ok, understood. Thanks. Were expenses a factor at all?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 08:41 PM
1

Gross or net?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 08:21 PM
1

“You didn’t fight for the marriage.” Umm, ma’am, you said you wanted a divorce. I loved you enough to set you free. 😎
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 05:12 AM
1

It’s only normal man, nobody will fault you for it. I remember I had a false tro placed on me for doing absolutely nothing. I hadn’t spoken to this person in months, when she would walk into a room, I would walk out. I slept with my phone in my pocket constantly recording. I know what it feels like to lose your kids temporarily based on abject lies. It’s one of the most hurtful things a man can experience. Once I pushed through that and shown her to be a liar in court it made sense to me. I refu…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 04:53 AM
10

Oh good lord. You gave her all of the ammunition needed to label you a monstrous abusive man. Now she’s going to claim she is in fear of her life, ergo removing you from your kids life. Just take a deep breath. Many men here have been labelled abusive monsters which allows them to cover up or assuage whatever guilt they experience. For the narrative to work you must be an abusive man. Please do not engage with her outside of what needs to be communicated for about your kids. It only takes one al…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 02:03 AM
1

Airbuds works wonders! I can’t see what I can’t hear!
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 11:53 PM
3

He is simply a man that, I assume, is choosing to both protect his peace and care for his child. As tragic as it is or may be hard to swallow. The onus is on her to seek proper child care for her kids and statistics prove that their fathers are the best for that. I’m not looking into or at woe is me or she is a victim arguments. The care of those two boys is paramount, I really don’t care about the feelings of adults when considering kids. This points me in the direction of the mother needing to…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 06:46 PM
2

I just think it’s patently unfair to place the hammer solely down upon this guy. It’s a terrible situation. But accountability here more-so lay on the mother. She is the one that needs to step up for those two boys. You’d swear he was a deadbeat dad abandoning his own flesh and blood. Accountability is a two way street.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 05:21 PM
2

This is exactly why I’m a strong advocate for kids spending time with their biological parents. We have an innate desire to make sure our kids are taken care of. The fact that this man is here questioning should he watch those two kids says everything that needs to be said. If they were his own, I’m sure (or would like to think) that this wouldn’t even be a question. I would watch, but as a last resort. She needs to reach out to their fathers l, they need to be involved in their kids lives. I me…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 05:03 PM
2

Agreed but this just seems like a bandaid. Efforts need to be done to find those boys real fathers so they are able to bond and spend time with them. I know as a kid I wanted nothing to do with boyfriends or stepdads. They need their fathers, not for their mom to pay another man to watch them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 04:54 PM
1

What about when he decides to have more kids of his own or gets into a long term relationship? Long term - imo - he needs to try and involve their biological fathers in their lives, that is what will be best for those boys. He needs to press her to reach out to their real fathers so that they may have a relationship with them and she wouldn’t have to pay someone to watch someone else’s kids. I can understand doing it short term however. This is very unorthodox, but that’s just me. Those kids nee…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:37 PM
18

During the world wars… you want to know the metrics used to determine the efficacy of a wartime campaign? Tonnage and the amount of men’s lives lost. We were dispensable then and we are moreso now, only difference is that we’ve got family courts to put the screws to us. Imagine if more men walked into a court setting saying they were unhappy and they deserved half of their spouses stuff and their kids? Laws would change overnight. Nobody cares about what a man goes through, we’re supposed to liv…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 07:22 PM
4

Just imagine if more cases were tried by jury…. A judge against you will strip you of everything whereas a jury is more likely to spot a greedy vile person and reward them accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:36 AM
1

Geez, a tough situation. In a just world for kids, they wouldn't be exposed to this level of gamesmanship and one-upping (they are truly used as pawn on a chess board in these sort of situations). You can petition the courts to return them to their home as this is not in their best interests as it disrupts not just their time with you as their father but also upends their routines. In one swift action she modified your parenting plan and now the courts can do nothing. She is the judge now. Sadly…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:41 PM
0

It’s a tough thing to contend with I’ll admit. It’s why I preach to any father to teach their kids critical thinking skills such that they are not easily manipulated or able to have their sense of reality diluted or replaced. I challenge my kids in a healthy way to strengthen their mental muscle. It’s important that they have their sense of self and question things that simply don’t make sense or aren’t true. It’s a thin line as you still have to assert your parental authority but I suppose that…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 05:35 PM
5

I didn’t even let the word divorce leave her mouth. I gave up immediately. You don’t have to tell me you want a divorce twice. Granted I had a head start as I saw the writing on the wall in terms of the marriage being a failure as we had her mother living with us who glorified divorce having been divorced herself. I think more men need to develop radical acceptance. Yes it hurt for a few weeks as I had to envision a life for our kids that involved a fractured environment, strange men around them…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 07:00 PM
-3

It’ll be a tough sell. I don’t think the legal system is ready to punish a woman for stealing from an elderly sick man during a divorce. We’re just not there yet as a society.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 09:10 PM
4

I don’t think you understand how firmly entrenched family court is in our society. It literally shapes society in both the medium and long term. I don’t think all the billionaires in the world could make a dent against the biases and lack of regard for fathers or men in such a system.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:19 PM
5

If there was such a union they’d probably shut it down under some nonsense. “It’s taking away from the pain of the other gender…” My ex started crying in mediation when it came to splitting a $3,000 bill…. Mind you, this is a person who lied and said that she was battered brutally for years by me to gain an advantage in the divorce in terms of custody and keeping the house - not a shred or iota of evidence - cost me roughly $20,000 to defend my innocence. Who do I get to cry to as a man? Men are…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 06:16 PM
0

95% chance she’s cheating or has cheated. Sorry man. Unfortunately, this is the new norm. Your vows be damned.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:23 AM
7

My ex’s mother: “I don’t care about your kids.” My kids were 3 and 8 months at the time. Said it right in front of my ex and she didn’t bat an eye. I am no longer naive.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 06:40 AM
3

Ah ok, got it. Well that would make sense. Very rarely does a man come out ahead in a he said she said situation in any court. Wishing better days ahead for you and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:51 PM
3

Which country did this happen in? I’m a bit shocked to think this is in the US.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:44 PM
2

I thought courts cared about facts? Should be easy for him to adjust, no?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 11:12 PM
6

Went through this as well. Why do they do this nonsense? Why not just leave in peace?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 01:02 PM
1

It’s is easier to devise a way to land a human on the surface of the sun than for some to apologize or admit they were wrong in any way. There is no winning or understanding in these situations.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:59 PM
2

Is this the language they use in Texas? Are kids objects to be possessed? Damn, divorce truly is sad for kids caught in the middle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:15 PM
23

“Anything to justify everything.”
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 01:37 PM
4

Sorry to hear that man but there is some humor in that. I can only imagine being on the receiving end of that train of thought.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 01:36 PM
1

I refuse to believe that in 2026, there are some men that would be involved with a woman who would do this to them.... I mean, come on. Be with her while she carries and will give birth to another man's child?
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:12 PM
2

Huh? I don't even know what I just read.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:11 PM
3

Agreed. His child WILL thank them later. He shouldn't have to bear this himself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 07:14 PM
4

If your child needs medical treatment then I'm all for it. If it is impacting their health then absolutely. I would want my kid or, any child, rather to have the best outcomes in life. That being said, both parents need to sacrifice for their kids to make it happen. It took two to make them...surely it would take two to care for and help take care of them? This is a case of an open checkbook. You really messed up when you agreed to take care of all out of pocket expenses. In an ideal world, an i…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 05:50 PM
4

Yup. Incoming allegation of abuse. If she can claim that you were an abusive monster, she is then able to obtain permanent residency while not being married to you. Look up VAWA - Self petitioning. It describes to the T what she is doing. You are now her abuser. Get ready to be called that often. It’s a shame she’d go this route as it takes away from actual abuse victims.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 03:18 AM
2

Fair enough. Be fair to yourself as well. You are not responsible for her cheating. Her cheating does not define your worth.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 07:44 AM
3

Take a long drive….it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 07:25 AM
4

As hard as it may be, grieve internally but give her, in earnest, the divorce she wants. Your life is not over, there is someone out there for you that will be with you until your last breath. Time and distance from her will help tremendously.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 11:16 PM
2

Yup, an understatement. Sold our previous home and now it’s back to court. Escrow proceeds sitting in an account. She literally wants the entire proceeds from the sale of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 11:12 PM
3

LOL because us men here have never gone through divorces expending over 100k on legal fees and fighting for time/access to their kids. Lol Nah, this is descending into the mud. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 02:03 PM
7

Only reason I asked is so others could learn from your situation. Would have been better you not even answer the question lol.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:55 PM
2

Ok, did you earn less than her? Was her credit card debt incurred after the filing? Sorry for all of the questions.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:53 PM
2

Was part of the 14k some sort of recoup in defending yourself against her false claims of abuse?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:48 PM
2

Which state is this?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:47 PM
6

At that point your relationship would have become conditional and very transactional - no way to live life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 04:30 AM
8

I had to post twice. I feel so bad for this guy. To witness the setup in real time is just damn sickening. I mean, look at her language. It’s as if she knows the courts, or the agencies of the mother will hone in on those key words/terms and bam…he’s now a threat to his kids. I give it a month tops before she files and accuses him.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:27 PM
7

You sir, are about to get accused of s.a against your kids. She is setting the narrative and creating a paper trail. I can guarantee you 100% this is what is occurring and despite you being an excellent father with no ill intentions towards your kids….the courts will not hesitate to take them away from you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:05 PM
1

My fear is of you being in Australia, and while I am not familiar with the laws there, last I’ve read was that the statistics for fathers having any meaningful time with their kids are appalling. Godspeed and good luck. Even if the courts relegate you to a visitor to your kids will not forget that you fought to spend time with them.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 12:00 PM
1

I’m not sure which county in America you live in but absent her running off to another state with your child I don’t think there exists many judges that will reprimand a mother for what you describe. Many times I thought “there’s no way they’ll allow her to treat the kids this way”….I was severely wrong
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 08:44 PM
0

This is all soo damn sad. Imagine living your life as a free person to having a decree follow you around the rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:48 AM
1

What happens when the judge tells you that if you dont pay mediation costs (as you can’t afford it) he’ll dismiss it and let the “other attorney have their way with you”?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 06:01 PM
1

Poor credit due to it being maxed out during the marriage… what then?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:20 PM
2

What if you cannot afford a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 03:52 PM
8

What if said person wants to leave you with $0? What recourse do you have then?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 03:24 PM
1

Well what’s the point of it all if everyone is apparently free to speak “their version” of the truth? It seems to me that the most honest person loses by default.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:35 PM
3

By damn, willing to ruin their conscience for pieces of paper.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 02:57 AM
3

Even by outright lying?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 02:51 AM
2

Why do you fear being homeless?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 02:22 AM
1

Sighs, more people lying and stealing to gain an advantage? How can judges not see these things.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 01:31 AM
8

There is nothing complex here. She slept around or is sleeping around and wanted to make sure she didn’t catch anything in the process. Please get this woman out of your life, she is going to ruin you in every way.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 12:33 PM
1

Well why on earth is someone like that living with his kids?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 02:07 AM
1

To bring things back into focus, that is why. I’d be worried to know any adults living in a house with minors aren’t taking care of them or helping to take care of them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 02:07 AM
1

It does though. It boggles my mind to have another man’s kids living under his roof and he’s not helping to take care of them. And on top of that agitating the real father. That angst can be better put to help raising those kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 02:02 AM
1

But his kids are living under his roof, no? So again, is he there just to agitate the actual father?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:59 AM
2

If you are married to or involved with a woman with kids, Is it not your responsibility as well to help take care of his and her kids?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:53 AM
3

So then why is he attempting to be so involved in his kids lives? Are you saying that he shouldn’t help to raise the man’s kids if his kids are living under his roof?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:51 AM
1

Well he signed up for it, hold him to the fire. I can assure that bravado will stop real quick. Each time he fires up at you, just let him know his energy is better spent helping to raise your kids. He will have deep moments of retrospection hearing those words… I guarantee you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 11:56 PM
1

Nah, ignore all of the tough guy stuff. The more you show him that it bothers you the more he will do it. Just remind him that he needs to focus on helping to raise your child, that’s where his energy needs to be.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 11:53 PM
3

Physical violence is never the answer. Just respond to him the following: “Look man, this is a terrible situation for everyone involved but it would be best if you quit taunting me and just do your job of helping to raise my kids, please let’s just keep things civil.” Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 11:50 PM
9

Translation: You’re about to get accused of things you never did or said. In short, you are about to become a narcissistic abuser who also abuses everything around him. Heck, you’re going to be accused of abusing inanimate objects. Remember that time you and her were in Home Depot and the shopping cart accidentally hit her on the heel? Well you meant to that and in turn physically abused her and she had to endure weeks of therapy to combat the mental abuse that went along with it when you fake a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:51 PM
4

It truly is terrible behavior. I laid in bed that night and wondered if it would be ok If I was riding the bus or had gotten a 1993 Geo Tracker instead - would she have followed me around taking photos? How self absorbed can you be to not allow another person to live their life in peace? Was I supposed to die and become homeless after she left?
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:34 PM
7

Was this before or after the filing date? Mines attempted the same. Racked up over 45k in debt after she filed and left the house… says that I should be responsible for half. Took a look at the statements and stopped reading at the second line when I saw a charge for a fine Italian restaurant. This demon wanted me to pay for her dates while she was testing the water with other men. The nerve. Had a good laugh though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 06:57 PM
2

He’s going to have to find out the hard way. God help him if she starts crying in court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 05:15 PM
1

So mocking and making fun of has a different definition then? I don’t even do it to my own kids as I know the effect it has on their mental health. Imagine someone who isn’t their parent doing it? Why bring women into this? I was talking about men who mistreat kids that aren’t theirs, men who has no vested interests in kids that aren’t theirs outside of the relationship he has with their mother. Here’s a test for you. Go out in public and mock a few people’s kids… think that will work out well f…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:43 PM
3

Laughing at and mocking kids that aren’t even his? That is insane. Bolsters my belief that step kids are often at a disadvantage when being raised by adults that aren’t their biological parents. That same level of love and care is simply not there. There is no biological bond which would often prevent acts of cruelty and just plain old shitty behavior. Reminds me of that boyfriend that put a toddler (not his) in a motherfucking backpack because the child was crying when the mother went out to wo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:29 PM
4

This is where kids can become damaged. You do nothing and they will resent you and feel helpless, you do something and your kids mother will resent you and make life a living hell for your kids. I’m in my late thirties and that feeling of having nobody to talk to when another man was on a power trip is a feeling that I remember very vividly. I was abused by a boyfriend of my mother so I take these things very seriously and I LOOK DOWN heavily on guys trying to play pretend a dad. Bringing up bad…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:22 PM
26

We do not stay with shitty and terrible partners out of guilt. I can say this with a high degree of certainty. Most of us stay because we want to see our kids everyday. It has very little do with the woman and more to do with how family court WILL literally ruin his life. I stayed in hell because I wanted to see my toddlers everyday and for as long as I could.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:42 AM
15

I’ll go against the grain here. I refuse to let one bad, shit for a marriage spoil an instance where I find an incredible woman who I can call my wife. Trick is finding said “incredible woman”. Incredible can mean many things to different men but my list isn’t very long. Loyalty is at the top though. Don’t let one shitty human spoil what the future may hold for you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 09:50 PM
8

Let her go as clean as possible so that she may heal and move on. That is the best you can do for her. Please allow that woman to heal. Limit your contact with her if she request it. Move with decorum and allow her to move on with her life gracefully.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 06:27 AM
4

The moment I saw her put the feelings of herself, her mom and her sister above those of our toddler and infant kids. I remember her mom told me stone cold to my face in front of her as well. “I don’t care about your kids”. She said nothing, not even in defense of her own kids. It was as if a switch flipped.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:30 PM
8

It’s only commingling if the man is the one with the assets.* Fixed it for you. 😎
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:26 PM
15

I blame the men that marry her. Good gosh. 4x?! Us men are literally clowns for access to sex. Absolute idiots. Ruinous dumbasses. Shit for brains.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:25 PM
3

The most important question. Any kids?
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:47 PM
2

Does her kids live with you full time? (I imagine so). That plays a factor.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 02:55 PM
11

I stopped reading at the “mother of my children” line. Sir, are you not the father of her children? I agree that you should not stoop to any level that would compromise your morals but do you not understand that destroying your character is a very slippery slope and she is not a good person for even suggesting this? What if she accuses you of s.an against her or your kids? Be fair of course but please for the love of God do not give away pieces of yourself to someone willing to destroy you in on…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:29 PM
21

This is why I preach to all men that once the word divorce is mentioned you must at that moment begin moving on. There is no substitute for it. Men love differently and will absolutely destroy themselves to the point of seeing themselves of less then or having the same value as shit in an attempt to hold into a delusion. You must let her go the moment she expresses ending the relationship. Lest you end up in a similar situation to op.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 08:52 PM
1

You got lucky - as you said. Equality and justice, moreover what is best for kids shouldn’t have anything to do with luck or gender.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 08:24 PM
8

Very easy to get you removed. She’ll get in her car (with the kids of course as it adds to the effect). Go to the nearest police station, start crying and say that you abused her and she’s in fear of her life and voila - no more you. The “you problem” is now solved. 😎 See how easy that was? If she’s really up for it, she’ll have her lawyer send you a proposal - she’ll drop the allegations of abuse against you if you give her both the house and full custody, eliminating the need for a trial. …how…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 04:24 PM
1

A man with full custody, in the US? With a four year old? There’s a 99% chance you won’t make it past the legal stage of things. The logistics are the least of your worries if this is your goal. I’m just being realistic. If there’s no cheating involved or anything really amiss. Work it out with your wife - remember you made vows. If she wants to leave then that would be on her. Keep your child’s home in tact if you’re able to. Look at the stats of kids that come from divorced homes, don’t put yo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 04:19 PM
5

You’re sitting here stressing over someone that treated you as if you were a monster insofar as you arriving to an empty house where she had to “flee”? Taking the high road also encompasses having some sort of dignity - I surely would not want to be in the presence of someone that treated me that way.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 01:23 PM
11

He’s a man so the bar will be extremely high for him in terms of the court acting on his behalf. “Men cannot be harassed or abused.” - Society
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 02:37 PM
2

Ah the common dv playbook. People that pull this shit are absolutely evil and are the scum of the earth. Meanwhile there are actual victims out there getting abused and denigrated daily. Real pieces of shit these people are. This play/ploy comes in many variants: “Give me full custody of our kids and I’ll drop the false charges” “Give me the house free and clear and I’ll drop the false charges” It’s an almost endless list and it works surprisingly well with the courts when they put on a charade …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 11:45 AM
7

I feel your pain man. Good gosh. I’ve seen many a person sacrifice their family, kids and even themselves for “sneaky sex”. You need to take solace in the fact that there was absolutely nothing you could have done differently to make her: Keep to her vows Think of her children Think of your health Think of the shame to your family you both created The list goes on…. This was simply an eventuality - the same as having a scorpion as a pet that hangs out on your shoulder, eventually you’ll get stun…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 11:35 AM
1

Get that piece of shit out of your life. I’m sorry as she’s still your wife but my gosh am I tired of seeing men kicked while they are down. Imagine if you acted like this towards her? Society would be calling for your head.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 07:15 AM
3

Best interest of the kids more often than not = best interest of the mother. We are not in a societal climate where fathers are regarded as capable parents, despite the stats that say otherwise. I think for a lot of judges it is fear of not being re elected and the fact that men are seen as the ones to always have to suck it up that this bias is so strong. Women overwhelmingly vote more than men and essentially dictate politics… Most of us are lazy pieces of shit when it comes to voting and we t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 12:22 PM
7

Yup, when my funds began to dwindle so did her affection, never mind the thousands and thousands in support prior when things were going good financially. She wonders why I won’t even look at her now. Strictly about our kids and absolutely nothing else. You would swear I speak an ancient lost language if it’s anything else. And this is not from a place of anger it’s simply indifference. I believe anyone should have the peace and ability to avoid someone who would betray them in terrible and calc…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 09:11 AM
8

Keep this energy as you move forward through this process. The hate is normal but please channel that into positivity moving forward - for your kids sake. Show them what it is to be betrayed and still rise above. They will never forget that lesson. Get that cheater and selfish person away from you as humanly possible.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 10:17 PM
9

Yeah, only a matter of time before he’s labelled an abuser.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:30 AM
7

The jokes is on you mate, sorry to be harsh. You say the jokes on him in that’s she’s still doing sexual stuff for you. Re-read what you’re saying. I read, “The joke is on my wife’s boyfriend.”
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 12:43 AM
22

An absolute waste of your time. It is akin to trying to figure out why the sun is hot and when it will explode. You know it is hot and will more than likely be hot for another billion years. To add, you know* on some fundamental level how it works. Do you ruminate over this? She cheated and left. End of story. There is nothing to ruminate over. Yes it hurts but you should look at the silver lining in this. You can now find someone that truly loves and appreciate you. This is your pride and ego s…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:35 PM
5

The only grounds you have to stand on would be the safety of your son. I was once beaten like a dog by a boyfriend of my mom once before. The more strange men around your son - higher chance he will get abused by one of them. Be it her leaving him alone with them, them being blipped out on drugs or even them having a bad day and feeling your son needs to be “disciplined”. Petition the courts insofar as saying that your son shouldn’t be exposed to a bunch of random men in what is his home as well…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 11:13 PM
2

If an ex wanted to spy on all the peace and happiness in my home then by all means 😅
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 01:30 PM
8

As i placed in my briefing “I simply do not care about the feelings of another adult vis a vis that which has to do with what is best for kids”. Big grown hairy adults have had more than enough time to screw up their lives, kids deserve a fighting chance at being left out of adult problems or being used as pawns In some imagined war.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 03:51 AM
6

Refer to the stats. What does the stats say when kids are raised in these sort of environments? This other man cannot love and care for the same you can and do about your kids. Please fight to stay in their life in a meaningful way. She’s doing what’s in her best interest. Too many horror stories of kids being essentially forced to call another man dad or father. It’s terrible what adults do to their own kids. Some can’t see beyond their own nose.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 07:26 PM
1

It would be around 12 upwards I’d imagine. Courts still hold the belief that fathers are only important for the “rebellious years” I.e when the line between juvenile delinquency and normalcy develops. Which means most fathers miss out on most of their formative and developmental years. Which is odd considering that most kids raised by single fathers fare much better in life and society typically. (Supported by stats).
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 01:56 PM
2

Depends on the gender.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:07 AM
5

Why won’t the courts enforce it?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 01:29 AM
11

It's like getting back in bed with the very same assassin that tried to delete you. I wouldn't be able to even take a nap beside this person. You will develop ptsd from the lack of sleep alone. (sleep = being unable to let your emotional guard down again). The trust is gone. As others have said, she's shown that when life becomes a bit difficult she will absolutely leave. And rest assured, life can become difficult at the drop of a dime.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 12:56 PM
8

I hate to read these sort of stories as it sounds as if this marriage could have been saved as one person appeared committed and the other determined to step outside to experience new partners etc. A damn shame.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 05:12 AM
1

Nah, I don’t use the number of sexual escapades / number of sexual acts etc as a metric, it’s all one big human bodily fluid swap fest anyways. for me it’s about trust. How in the hell can I trust you not to nuke my stuff when I saw you nuke what you had down the street?
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 04:58 AM
10

I’m not sure your vows would or could ever be the same again. 99% of the time people leave because they think they can do better. It’s a shame as it sounds you took your vows seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 03:21 AM
2

Trust what they say above. If you had kids with this person you'd be in a different rung of Dante's inferno. You're on level one, you should thank the heavens this person decided to leave you. Now you are free to find someone that can truly love you. You are one of the lucky ones in that she decided to leave before she had kids with you. That is a good thing, the best case scenario. Help her to leave quick and leave fast so you can move on. Many here are forced to see their kids bounced back and…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 11:17 PM
2

I'll pass on this mate. I'd much prefer a woman who was not previously married or enjoined to another many under matrimony. More pickings for you though! :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 11:08 PM
5

And I just saw you’re on the west coast. May God have mercy upon your soul in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:43 PM
8

ABSOLUTELY she’s going to attempt to deprive your kid the time with you down to every other weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 10:42 PM
1

It’s still a divorce and more often than not the person that is offering mediation is attempting to take more from the other party than what is defined by legal statutes. If they are a fair person then by all means but if they are just plain terrible then it will more than likely not work.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 01:32 PM
7

I have no flowery words for the bullshit that kids have to fu*%ng deal with in the aftermath of a divorce. I’m not in the “kids will be fine” or “kids are resilient camp”. Screw that noise. I see too many kids being raised my men and women that aren’t their parents, too many kids that are for all intents and purposes lost and broken and very well bound to repeat the same patterns in their adult relationships. Why even have kids if the common goal is to bounce after 5-7 years?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:07 AM
2

No way am I reading that your ex is having sex with your brother?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:19 PM
3

Good gosh is that ever so spiteful. It isn’t in times new Roman, double spaced font size 12?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:16 PM
1

Yup. As one officer told me: “It’s a mother state.”
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 02:22 PM
2

LOL AT YOUR LAST SENTENCE. DO YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELF? I put that in caps for a reason. “I don’t think there’s anyway she’d make false allegations against me” LOL 🤣😂
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 11:44 AM
1

How many hundreds of thousands of dollars is that “sexy ass” going to cost you? There are TONS more women out there with sexier asses that will love you for you and may even be with you until your dying breath. No way in hell I’d be thinking fondly of a person who was repulsed by my touch. It’d be good riddance for me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 11:41 AM
3

You face an enormous task of having the law agree to have the kids live with you. They will try at every turn to have the kids live with her. Prepare yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 01:43 PM
16

I actually stand behind the movement of them leaving. They should leave quick and leave fast. Would make men’s lives 100x better. I only wish they would do it before having kids with the man so said man can stand a chance at finding someone who’s in it for the long haul. I’ll say it for the 900th time. It’s not her leaving that wounds most men, it’s when she leaves after having kids for the man. Doesn’t apply to all cases but I would say it’s usually the case. Rarely do I see a man weep for his …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 04:19 PM
2

To the guys here that go through this without kids, they have no idea how less troublesome this is for them. 😅 Granted, dealing with broken vows sucks but after a year or two you’ll more than likely forget they existed but when you have kids you’ll be reminded daily that your kids are now growing up in a broken home and are likely at a societal disadvantage and will more than likely (there’s that word again) repeat the cycle of divorce and fractured families. But to just have her leave by hersel…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 10:18 AM
5

Exactly my thoughts. How can you tell a man he must take out a SECOND job to support an ex? He must work 80hr work weeks? He will literally die a slavehorse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 10:44 PM
11

Wow. How is this any different than slavery?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 05:37 PM
10

Sounds illegal… but only if YOU were doing it. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 11:21 PM
7

Ha, in the midst of my divorce I wrote in one of my personal notebooks financial numbers of where I’d like to be in the future and my goals. She took screenshots of those and submitted those as evidence saying that is what I have and what I’m hiding. Jokes on her as I knew she was in her planning stage and intentionally put a few out of this world numbers in my scrapbook. Never underestimate how low down, dirty and disgusting some humans will get when things go pear shaped.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 04:44 AM
2

I was talking nothing about child support. I was referring to the totality of what men are faced with in family court. I care nothing about money really in the context of kids. Having been raised by a single mother I know full well what it means to see a system that favors not just one parent over the other but also one rife with inherent biases.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:19 AM
12

I’ve read through this thread. Are some here really suggesting that there is equality in this area of law? Legal systems are typically a reflection of societal values and norms at large. Whenever I’m reading the news I can say that I’m always surprised to see a woman being sentenced for any crime unless it is just so egregious that the law cannot turn a blind eye lest public backlash be faced. Look at sentencing parity…. It’s there as well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:57 AM
1

Honestly, and respectfully - I don’t think you live in reality.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 12:51 AM
5

My God do they really have society tilted in their favor. How did we ever come to this?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 07:55 PM
1

You’ll probably get banned shortly if you dare to go against the grain.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 05:13 AM
7

Sounds about right. r/divorcedads isn't much better either imo. You'll come to learn in North America that fathers are expendable and don't mean to much unless it involves money in some way. Parenting.... LOL - You can forget it. I recall lately a friend of mines from another country asking well "what good are you in America if even your opinion doesn't even matter in court when it comes to your children". I had no answers for her... and she's a mother herself. She said, apparently in your count…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 04:54 AM
5

Been there. I remember cooking dinner for the kids and she took out pans/pots and cooked the exact same dinner besides mines on the stove to give to them. I thought I was seeing things.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 05:32 PM
2

It's a heartbreaking thing man, I don't know how else to describe it. I struggle for words to describe how it made me feel then to how I even feel now about it. It changes you is the best way I can describe it. I went through my whole life essentially ducking and dodging evil but this was my true first encounter with it. I live in NJ and the courts here, at least in my township are still permanently bent towards mothers despite any allegation she may make. As it stands I have 50/50 custody. When…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 02:40 PM
3

This right here. My ex tried it with our 2 year old daughter. I went numb emotionally for quite a while thinking how is it possible for a parent to do this to their own kid? Does she not realize how this will literally break her mind, spirit and soul when our daughter becomes of age and learn that her mom did this - and for what? to get sole custody? more child support? You're absolutely correct, the horrid nature of it needs to be said explicitly. I wrote it as such in all of court responses. I…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 02:04 PM
1

You must be new here. When my ex got a false restraining order against me I was afraid to even say no to her for many months as I feared that might be considered emotional abuse and I would get arrested. You have no idea the power a woman wields in the US from her tears and crying.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 01:41 PM
13

Watched her take up a plate of food for her mom and sister, walk past me with said plates. When I mentioned “hey, how is it that you don’t even offer me a plate of food?” - Calm as can be. Her: “I AM NOT YOUR F*#king MAID!” The stuff men put up with just to be with their kids daily is beyond words. I only wish the politicians that draft these laws could see this. Never again. If I didn’t have kids I would have left her then. Many times I’d cook food, make a plate for her without a thought.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 06:32 PM
2

Let’s assume she racked up debt in her name only after their date of separation. Is he responsible for half of that?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 04:34 PM
3

Ok fair enough. I’ll see if I can find the review from another parent and post here. I guess we’re in a different era overall as my dad took me to see mainly anything 😅. Some of my best memories by the way.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 02:18 PM
37

I didn’t even let her finish her sentence as I did the math quickly, sure enough she was cheating. Her: “I want a divo….” Me: “Slaps hands on my knees and gets up, welp why did you waste years of my life?” Walked away and started packing” Never try to fight for a woman with whom another man has had their way with within the confines of your marriage. Don’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:37 PM
6

Why do they do this? Doesn’t the new guy have tools? Just go in peace. Sheesh.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 11:08 AM
3

There are often two things that deeply wound a man. 1) Taking away his kids or reducing his time with them such that he’s effectively ruled as being the “uncle dad”. 2) Betrayal. Imagine breaking your back at work taking on the weight of your job and what may feel like the world and your spouse is getting her back broke in. To add, when she files for divorce she will be rewarded handsomely for this treachery. Not all women are like her. You have to find the silver lining in her evil and selfish …
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 03:24 PM
11

I can relate 100000%. It’s a terrible feeling for a man to be in a relationship and feel unwanted. Not even a touch on the arm or a hug. You’re reduced to feeling like a living wallet, a handyman in your own home. It came a point where I refused to sleep in the same bed as her, my nervous system wouldn’t allow me to have to endure a cold bedroom. Even worse was that she was a fully aware of what she was doing. I was made to feel as if I was a monster for even wanting to have some sort of affecti…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 03:17 PM
5

Par the course. Next up is you being accused of domestic violence to get you out of the house and to essentially tilt everything in her favor. Because most judges side with women by default you will be separated from your kids for a period of time and maybe even reduced to a 4 day a month parent for a few years. You cannot count on the system to see through it. Protect yourself now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 12:54 PM
24

Yup. Been through that. What’s odd though is that other women don’t blink when they hear of another making such a sick and vile accusation against a father. It is truly sickening stuff. It’s as if the man is just suppose to suck it up and keep moving. “So what if she accused you of it, you’re a man right?”
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 03:36 AM
10

Par the course. I’ve seen married women take away from their own kids to give to an affair partner. You should not be surprised.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 06:29 PM
8

I helped mines pack her stuff up and placed everything in the garage. It was pretty good packing I’ll add. Got some nice bubble wrap and labelled everything for her. ☺️ When they want to leave your first step should be to head to the nearest Home Depot and pick up some moving boxes, especially if she wants to leave the house. A man’s or any humans dignity is priceless, especially so for someone who is in the discard phase of the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 12:32 PM
8

Erase that f*cking person from your mind. Mann, your son has a very limited amount of time on this earth and you’re worried about her?!!!!!!!! Is there any way you can convince her to leave sooner? Maybe convince her that he’s a better catch? Focus on creating memories with your son, not someone who is thinking of other people.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 04:59 AM
23

At least you now have the closure you need.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 08:32 PM
26

Not your child, not your woman, not your problem. Focus on your kids and yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 07:27 PM
2

Betrayal by my own son would have overshadowed any of the treachery his mother committed against me. I’d be deeply hurt. Some may see it as a simple problem. But if Simone can betray you in the little things it’s a slippery slope.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:10 PM
14

Some things can’t be unheard. How could he ever trust her again?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 08:53 PM
9

It’s not a feeling if it’s a fact. I’ve seen situations where men are aptly prepared with incontestable facts and still come out with essentially nothing. The court system is designed by women for women. Yes we can say patriarchal blah blah but you can watch a hearing and see the discomfort in a judges face if he had to disagree with a woman or God forbid hold her accountable. As a man you can literally hear them building the guillotine outside while you’re in the court room / zoom hearing. Unti…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:07 AM
10

Depends on which state. Some states are more pro women than others.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 08:39 PM
4

Nice! There you go. Just do what’s best for you and them. She’s not a victim. She’s a grown adult, let her be on her own. Picked up a bmw x5 for me and the kids. They love the led ambient lighting. 🤷🏽‍♂️😅
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 06:24 AM
3

Got a new suv for me and the kids to trot around in. 😎
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:21 AM
1

My guy, this sort of tomfoolery only works if you’re a female. You cannot and do not know how to play a victim well enough to pull this off 100% you will get stiffed with any credit card charges you incur.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:20 AM
3

When my ex tried to accuse me of sa towards our minor kids. Anyone that can harm their own kids in that fashion does not deserve an ounce of decency. If it is not an emergency or something related to the logistics of our kids well being it might as well be written in an ancient language as I have no interest in reading it. Divorce is truly a hell imposed on kids, especially younger ones. Why even have kids if you intend on putting them through this hell?
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:16 AM
2

Clearly you are not familiar with the US family law structure. A woman can do the above all day in and out and face no consequences. What do you think would happen to a man if he were to call his ex’s phone multiple times to speak to his kids? He’d be labelled an abuser under some domestic violence statute and have his kids taken away or his time with them reduced even more. His multiple calls would be interpreted as being threatening and she’d claim to be in fear of her life. On the other hand …
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 10:46 AM
1

You can’t expect any different from people that endorse this scum like and disgusting behavior. Just deplorable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 01:09 AM
1

“SOP”, “I was just following orders”, “everyone else is doing it”, is still lowlife scum like human behavior. Just generally speaking of course.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 08:16 PM
1

Well I can’t say what I want to but this is bottom of the barrel lowlife scum behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 08:00 PM
5

The last part is what boggles my mind. Most of them really think a man is going to love and appreciate kids that aren’t his the same way their actual father will. That to me is the real tragedy of divorce. When people take their kids around others and attempt to delude themselves that a complete stranger can have the same type of bond and affection with their kids as their real father does. Just sad.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:40 AM
1

Maybe get a king sized bed and you take the couch with a pullout bed? You can’t replace time with kids, especially at young ages. You got this 💪
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:11 PM
1

👍😎 I’m sure many men here needed to hear this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:10 PM
3

You’re trying to empty the ocean with a spoon in my opinion. I don’t see what good can come from meeting the guy? Unless you intend on being one big happy broken blended, mixed family with him? Your focus need to be on how to improve the life of your kid and give them the best shot at becoming well rounded adults, they’ve already been dealt very shitty hands often times by very selfish people as many of us men here have seen. Don’t focus at all on her new guy or guys, as long as he’s not trying …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:06 PM
1

There’s a difference between a father figure and a father. Only one man can be a father…many dudes can be a father figure. Which is why I stress always how important a father is in a child’s life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:38 PM
11

Us men often get blinded by the raw sex and orgasms that come with it. Very easily clouds one’s judgement. Heck, some here would move in a woman with 12 kids from 12 different men if she was giving him mind numbing sex. 🤷🏽‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 12:15 PM
29

I watched our 4 year old son cry his heart out every time we had to do Saturday exchanges at a police station when she lied to get a restraining order to remove me from the house and go for sole custody. The pain I saw hi go through when he would ask “dada when am I going to see you again”. She would just stand there with a soulless blank look on her face knowing full well the entire thing was a lie. What reached to the bottom of my soul was that even the tears of her son did not move her one bi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 03:10 AM
8

I stopped reading at: “My ex-wife 50F frequently shows up at my home and stays for days—sometimes up to a week.”
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:51 AM
7

I second this. Loss of time with your kids is what hurts most. This is where most men stumble. And obviously the courts are still of the belief that we are idiots when it comes to raising kids despite the horrific stats of single mother homes. (I know, I came from one). I didn’t mind “losing” someone that didn’t love me, what I do mind and miss is being able to see and parent my kids everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:15 AM
16

If you let her move back in, there’s a 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance YOU will be leaving your house in handcuffs having been labelled an abuser. Guess who the courts and police are going to side with by default?
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 07:18 PM
18

Just another way men are belittled In society. “If you just do this little song and dance, that’ll be enough to keep her at home” All the while she’s wearing lingerie under her clothes as she leaves to go and get “groceries”. I am ashamed of how little us men think of ourselves and how little society thinks of us as well. “I’ll just be a good little dog and that’ll surely change her mind.” The correct approach is to help her pack if she wants to leave. Buy some boxes and a permanent marker and h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:52 AM
3

What would have made the outcome less shitty for you? Genuinely curious.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 04:43 AM
1

I’ve worked for 7 billionaires for the last 15 years of my life so I’m not sure about the whole more money than God thing😅 But man that’s terrible. Why do you think she’s wanting to reach out to you now?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 02:47 AM
8

Three years?! I know family courts hate biological fathers but how did this happen?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 02:36 AM
8

One of those times in life where a situation isn’t even worthy of a response. I’d feel highly offended that she would even imagine I’d entertain such a situation. The gall. The nerve. Internet stranger - you are worth so much more than this. I feel sorry for the kid she’s about to birth. I despise broken homes and situations that bring about kids in these manners. Just pure degeneracy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 02:49 AM
3

As someone who loves history I had to laugh at “blitzkrieg”, as that’s exactly what I went through when I became unbothered by her leaving. Judge even asked my lawyer: “why is your client so fixated on getting 50/50 custody”.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 06:31 PM
1

My comment was more tongue in cheek as most judges would do severe mental gymnastics to paint the father in a bad light. “Your honor, well she’s a convicted felon”. “Well, did you help to prosecute her? Shame on you…..” I’ve seen it too many times to pretend said bias is some myth floating in the ether.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:58 AM
2

It doesn’t rip through them though. They’re often out searching for the next man as your/our kids hearts bleed out. Took me a short while to realize this, but once I did the energy shifted into creating a world where my kids have the best opportunity of having a different outcome in life. Which is why I preach to men going through having their families ripped apart to be patient with themselves and also give themselves grace as it is very difficult to see one’s kid suffer through this. Can you i…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:04 PM
8

The judge would get upset that he would use a diagnosis against a mother. That doesn’t work.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:47 PM
3

Yup, I’ve lived and experienced this. As much as I am vigilant I am also aware of how the winds are oriented. Family court is where equality goes to die and stays dead. Most are either too cowardice to admit it or are simply disingenuous. It’s as if it’s a personal slight for a father to be “given” the opportunity to raise a kid of his. He’s not even considered a viable option for raising his own child until all other options have been exhausted. (Mother-Grandparents-Aunts-Cousins-Friends-Foster…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:49 PM
2

Even then, a judge is going to give both the father and child a difficult time. The child will be made to feel as if they are committing a cardinal sin by wanting to live with their father.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:40 PM
16

At least you are a realist. I commend that. Most judges would rather sacrifice their firstborn than to give a filthy dirty father full custody of a child. Even if she committed murder the judge would say, wellllll as long as it was not 1st degree it’s in the child’s best interest…. Fill in the blank. /s
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:37 PM
15

She’s lining you up for the “I’m in fear of my life” argument in an ex parte restraining order. Keep taking the bait and she’s going to accuse you of abuse and every male in the legal system will be at your throat.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:23 PM
6

OP, I hope things work out as it’s not everyday we find someone that we connect with on many levels But do understand that it may be a HUGE deal for her to have to now take care of two kids that aren’t hers. Most may think it’s cute at first but when the real parenting kicks in, i.e tantrums, disobedience, etc it can shine a different light on things. She may very well want kids of her own, kids that she has a natural and unbreakable bond with.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:29 PM
0

Divorce is always a shitty things for kids. Reading this makes me upset. As if kids are damn property to be divvied up and tossed around. Why the fck do people have kids to have them end up in these situations. I know I know, incompatible, didn’t work out etc. But my gosh what kids from divorced situations have to go through breaks my heart.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 03:19 PM
3

Yup. When she left the house with the kids. (Returned home from work to an empty house) I went to the nearest police station to find out what my options were as my kids were missing. The officer told me that New Jersey is a “Mother State” and that if I had done what she did (absconding with the kids) I’d be charged with kidnapping. At that instant I knew men are nothing but slaves in society. To be fair though we bring it upon ourselves as we have more interest in the Super Bowl than in the very…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 05:06 AM
1

Anything that’s not related to the kids and their overall wellbeing appears as an ancient forgotten language to me. 🤷🏽‍♂️🧐
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 08:58 PM
7

And folks still say that fathers are not prejudiced against in family courts 😂 I remember leaving the settlement conference with the feeling that custody was hers and hers alone to decide and the courts were there to enforce this under the guise of “best interest of the kids.” In many states: Best interests of the kids = Feelings of the Mother. When I had gotten an equal amount of time with both our very young kids my lawyer said I should be very happy as that typically doesn’t happen in New Jer…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 06:35 PM
1

Seems as if he enjoys seeing you squirm. Sighs, I’m certain you just want to see and spend time with your kids. What’s being damaged is your bond with your very young kids. Absent a provable instance of harm they deserve the bond and affection of both of their parents. THEY are being denied this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:53 PM
1

Absent the Supreme Court there’s always a judge above a judge. What was his basis for saying such a vile thing?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:44 PM
1

Appeal maybe? Time is of the essence as your kids are so young.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:38 PM
4

While those lawyers do exist such that they won’t blink twice at ruining your life. THE ISSUE LAY WITH YOUR EX SPOUSE FOR FOLLOWING THROUGH on these evil and wicked schemes. What boggles me the most is that they fail to see how falsely accusing you affects not just yourself but even worse, your kids as well. it’s similar to me blaming a celebrity or influencer for making me eat sand to loose weight.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 02:34 PM
13

Yup. Par the course. I went through the EXACT same thing. In fact it’s been 3 years since she tried the “I’m in fear of my life” act to try and get full custody. I knew at that moment she was depraved. I haven’t looked at her in her face since. In fact I felt so disgusted with myself later that day that I could actually lay and have sex with such a human, I felt unclean. It crushed me for a long time that she would choose to go the route of false accusations to try and gain an advantage with the…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 12:35 PM
0

This is a sick mentality. I despise this train of thought.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 10:47 PM
8

All well and good but it still doesn’t change biology on a fundamental level. His son can never look like the other man nor share his quirks and traits. There is an inherent bond (usually) between a child and their actual parent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 04:20 PM
12

Don’t worry man, most of us who grew up with single moms went through this. Just be the best father you can be. Guess who I loved and still do at the end of it all…. My biological father.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 02:47 PM
2

The reason is irrelevant. She wants to leave, he needs to expedite that for HIS overall wellbeing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 03:30 AM
14

Second the men here. GET THAT WOMAN OUT OF YOUR LIFE ASAP. Do what is best for you and the kids now. She belongs to other men at this point. She isn’t the only woman with a vagina, trust me. Focus on both you and your kids. They need you to worry about their wellbeing. Not their mother who wants to run off into “greener pastures”. Radical acceptance is what you need to practice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 05:34 PM
12

Huh? The fact that you’re even second guessing yourself here tells that she has a stronghold on your mind. Even more-so dizzying is that she makes more than you, and you’re still willing to put yourself at a disadvantage? You ALSO need to forge a life ahead for you and your kids when they are with you. Imagine if the roles were reversed and a man asked this question of his ex or soon to be ex. The world would absolutely set him on fire and dump his ashes into a landfill. Be kind to yourself man,…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 02:16 PM
3

Don’t do it. You will never heal properly. You’ll constantly be haunted by the ghosts of what was. And what happens when Tims car is in the driveway? Will you now have to park behind him? Do your best to obtain joint custody and do your custody exchanges at their school.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 12:45 PM
1

“Agreement abuse”.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 01:02 AM
1

You forgot “visual abuse.”
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 11:39 PM
2

Ah, brings back good memories. “You’re a man right, you can take it.”
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:58 PM
2

Again, I’m not saying that step fathers or dads should allow a running riot under their roofs. The problem is that in these scenarios there is literally a power play in effect. A strange man trying to exert his will, beliefs and core value into and into a child that is not his and the actual father who seeks to NATURALLY do the same. See who’s caught in the middle? Heck look at the step dad below who refers to the kids father as a “sperm donor”. How is any of this good for the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:23 PM
9

The problem is that this is a VERY slippery slope. Who is to say it stops at grounding? I was once beaten and stomped to the floor as an 11 year old boy by my mother’s boyfriend who held to the same mentality. “My rules, my house.” Still got the mark on my leg to remind me that most men who want to replace a child’s actual father quite often have ulterior motives and very rarely have the same level of love and care as the actual father would. That man beat me with hate in his eyes and voice. I f…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:19 PM
7

This is why I’ll always have mixed feelings on this whole blended family nonsense. Kids often grow up with unresolved issues in these sort of environments. Imagine being disciplined by your real father to go back to another house and be disciplined by another man who thinks he’s your real father. 😕 Discipline should always be deferred to the biological parents, not saying that these step guys should allow a running riot but for the kids overall mental wellbeing please defer to their father.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:14 PM
5

Sounds like gaslighting to me. I know for a fact I had/have one father. The other guys my mom had in her life or around me were just that….”guys around me”. I learned at an early age that these men were not my father nor could they ever care for or love me in the same capacity.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:11 PM
2

Guys out here still trying to be replace-o-dad to another man’s kids/dna? 😅 All jokes aside, the common thread is that these men often come under the guise of trying to save or rescue a woman that left a horribly terrible and abusive marriage. These men are very dangerous as they often lack the ability to step back and think, maybe, just maybe she is lying or is trying to manipulate me. These are the sort of men what will murder you to backstop their white knight ways. Be careful with them as th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 05:38 PM
2

I would want to know the truth, as an adult especially. I would find it an affront to be deluded into thinking that either of my parent are a decent person when in fact they may be the opposite.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 05:06 PM
4

After my ex tried to use abuse allegations to get her way in our custody dispute (she wanted sole, I wanted shared - she lost terribly). I was afraid to even disagree with my ex, I’ll never forget during an exchange my ptsd took over and I dropped a bag I was holding and put my hands up and said please I don’t want to be accused of anything else as she stepped close to me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 04:54 PM
2

Which is why he needs to be equally more ruthless in getting her out of his life. Too many punk men go easy on someone who is literally trying to destroy or ruin their lives. Make me upset to see this level of self hate. “I’ll just sit here while she lines me up in her target to destroy the relationship I have with our kids, my financial situation etc….”
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 03:47 PM
6

And then 10 years later when the kids are all sorts of f*cked up emotionally either from the entire shitshow or from watching the cock carousel members go in and out their home…. They want to be friends - “for the sake of the kids.”
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 12:52 PM
2

I hear you man. Sometimes we try to do the right things for the wrong people.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 07:47 PM
6

I never bashed him nor did I bash you. I was raised without a father period so yes, you saved him from a lot of pain. My point was moreso you suffered one of the biggest pains a main can experience while alive. Paternity fraud is one of the worst things that can happen to a man. This was a huge red flag you simply ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 06:43 PM
1

Yup. Best interest of the child = Best interest of the mother. Courts can give two cents on the rights of the child to know and have a meaningful bond with both parents. It is all a sham. When a woman weeps and cries in court it is a wrap and any man who dares defy this is seen as cold and evil by society.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 06:34 PM
8

I stopped reading at “wasn’t biologically mine.” You need to have more confidence in yourself. Edit: Didn’t mean to sound harsh but I’m just tired of seeing men stick by or beside people that would do terrible things to them. I’ve seen it most of my life. Women trying to trick men into raising kids that aren’t theirs, false allegations, theft of money, heck even hitman attempts and guys still lay beside these women. It’s beyond me. I just want us to do better and leave when they show you that th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 06:28 PM
4

😂😂. Did you adopt the disheveled look? Sometimes cigarettes isn’t enough. 😅 They want to really feel as if them leaving will kill you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 11:07 AM
9

Yup. This was my sentiment exactly. Why not just leave in peace? It’s like saying “Ok” when they want a divorce is a cardinal sin in their world. I suppose an acceptable response is to cry, beg, plead, become depressed and turn to cigarettes?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 11:01 AM
12

Manipulation 101. I’d rather be with someone that would literally fight in the trenches to save what we have…. When they want to leave, help them pack.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:27 AM
5

It’s how they can justify what they are doing or what they are about to do. Human nature 101. Before you destroy something, be it a memory even you must first hate or dehumanize it. Look at cheaters for example… they often resent and hate their spouse before they go ahead and cheat - see how bad he was to me, I had no choice but to get bent over and screwed by another man. Best you can do is pretend as if she doesn’t exist while everything works out. What helped me immensely was a pair of AirPod…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:24 AM
1

She will probably fight him into the dust to avoid him spending more time with HIS kids.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:33 PM
2

This is worse than actual slavery. With outright or actual slavery, there is no guessing as to what is occurring. No flowery words to serve as a guise. You are simply enslaved. With what you describe above…. This is mind bending as you have an entire legal system willing to kill you for not giving your labor over to someone you are (a) no longer involved with, (b) who willingly chose to be with you and (c) who is very capable of providing and taking care of themselves. May God help you if you da…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:29 PM
6

Forget they both exist. Don’t give those sort of people the time of day, MUCH better people out there to spend your time on and with. Let them stink in the stench of their cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 11:18 PM
1

Not really, it’s called status quo. Your head is going to spin when you hear her say “the kids are thriving, it is in their best interest to keep things as they are.”
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 09:31 AM
2

This is not a good idea. You are being relegated to a weekend parent. No bueno. Most of the joy of raising and day to day interactions will come with them throughout the week. Why did you let her move so far away with the kids you guys have? You’ve already shot yourself in the foot there. Her argument is going to be that it is too far to excercise 50/50 custody and that it is even far still to excercise every weekend custody thus leading you down a path of every other weekend and a Wednesday vis…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 07:42 PM
5

lol this is oddly specific. But hey if that’s what you like, it’s what you like. 🤷‍♂️😅
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:00 AM
3

It was simply your turn. Now it’s another man’s turn, and then maybe another, and another, and another…. Body count = +ve delta Why pine over that? Her vows meant nothing to her so why give her any consideration? Treat her as you would treat any other human and move on. The physical will fade, focus on who they are as a person. I have a friend whose ex lived her best life… now she’s mid 40’s and has the thousand yard penis stare. Her best life came at the expense of her kids happiness and stabil…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 12:15 PM
3

This is now the American way. Boyfriend/girlfriend is more sacred than marriage. After I hear “I’m divorced” on a date, I zone out….more power to the men that can marry a divorced woman but I can’t”.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 11:44 AM
13

You have your own victim survivor group. Again it goes back to the theme, why won’t they leave in peace? This one sentence/question needs to be a movement “Just leave in peace.”
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 11:41 AM
9

Understand that this is who she truly is in terms of her capability to accuse you of these horrendous things. Most men here have been accused of every form of abuse there is, heck I think I even saw visual abuse listed once. 🤷‍♂️ You’re going to be disappointed in her for a while, maybe even for the rest of your life. Men handle betrayal FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR worse than women. That will go into your bone marrow if you’re not careful. Therapy may help here. For most men, we actually don’t mind them…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 02:53 PM
9

For you to be in misery. That is a win for her. Your suffering = validation and justification.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 03:48 AM
7

LOL
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 01:14 AM
7

You better put your phone on your car window and record. Cue the charges of harassment, stalking, she’s in fear of her life etc. this is not a good idea. Verbal agreements = how they feel.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 12:28 AM
4

That’s because it is. I hate to say it but you are now locked in a literal battle with someone that wants to destroy your life. While you may want to separate amicably, they are trying to in not so many words leave you for dead. Truth is what will* save you. Pocket voice recorder on you at all times. Front doorbell camera. If an argument is getting heated leave the room and document that you’ve left the room. My ex tried this. She went from being the aggressor to the victim in an instant. In fac…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 06:47 PM
2

I was stomped into the ground as a 11 year old kid from one of my mom’s boyfriends. I can relate. I just feel sorry for kids that go through this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 04:53 PM
14

Dude is about to nuke his entire family and all I can read from the post was not enough kinkage. Please work on getting your desires under control lest they ruin you and those around you. I mean that in sincerity, I HATE to see families torn apart as your grandkids will feel it, their grandkids and so on…. Of course women outside of your marriage and family are going to use you, in fact some couldn’t care less if you die. They don’t give one flick of care about you. I wish you the best man, but …
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 02:34 PM
2

Your second to last paragraph sums it up. My stomach always churns when I read of ex wives introducing new men into their little girls lives. The stats are horrendous.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 06:08 AM
9

This. He fell victim to the grass is greener bug. A shame. I bet when he was filing those papers he felt on top of the world though - that dopamine rush must have been one hell of a rollercoaster! To break up your home with an unborn child is 10/10 disgusting behavior, I’ll give you that. Yes some of us are hard on you as you are compromising the future wellbeing of your kids on your desires and “happiness”.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 06:02 AM
10

Indeed. Own up to it. Leave her along and let her heal and find someone who’s in it for the long haul. She’ll recover and so will you. Give her a smooth divorce and move on with a kinkier woman. Let your ex wife heal.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 03:08 AM
1

Just sickening stuff and to think people laid down together intimately. Now it’s “don’t get out of your car”. Where does this hatred come from? I don’t get it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 01:30 AM
1

No child support here as I have them 50/50. I’d gladly take 100/0 😅 but that would be no bueno for the kids growing up, they need two parents. I simply chalk it up to choosing the wrong woman. In retrospect I saw the red flags and ignored them thinking things would change once we had our first kid as maybe they’d prioritize their family over their feelings but we know how that usually goes. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 03:22 PM
4

Exactly. This is what I’m trying to drive home to you. Don’t listen to the spiel of “this is just the way they are” Swiftly cut them off as swift as they did you. Don’t pine, beg or plead. Don’t be the nice guy trying to win back her graces as so many men do. There are literally billions of better women out there who do value a lifetime commitment, do not lose your soul and mind to one that doesn’t. It would make your head spin some of the stories I’ve heard from women after they’ve left their h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 12:04 PM
1

Long past the seeds of discord being a factor if this is where one is at.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 06:23 AM
2

This is sad to read. Insane that kids have to go through this and are treated as property to be divided. I suppose it’s the best we can do however.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 06:02 AM
-6

I’m sure you didn’t have kids to have them live in a house with another man. Alas this is where you’re at. Nothing you can do. Just take solace that you’re their father and future family trees will reflect that. Just focus on them, they need you to be mentally well. Find yourself a loving wife and have more kids so that you’ll still have a feeling of your kids being raised under one roof by their father.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 10:50 PM
5

No, we were not made to be isolated, at least for any lengthy period of time. Do not let one crap human or one that is in search of greener pastures dim your light. wish her well - hell give her a bottle of water for her journeys ahead and don’t even waste a damn ounce of energy on her again. You are worth just as much as she is. Why see yourself in any other light?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:51 PM
4

Because he must have done something wrong to warrant this, right?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:44 PM
15

The more you try to answer this the more you are giving it power. There are scores of loyal women out there who value men who value relationships who value keeping their families in tact and on the other hand there are many who value having lots of sexual partners etc. Do not dwell on this, just as there are crap men, there are crap women. Where you may be stubbing your toe is the premise ingrained in you that one sex is without blemish and pure… this is simply not the case. Look at the stories …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:44 PM
34

When this happened to me I went to the police station. The officer said that when the mother does it it’s ok, I asked him what would have happened if I did? His response: Well, we’d charge you with kidnapping. It was at that point I knew men are but disposable pieces of flesh in society.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:17 PM
3

They dont care not one bit. That Guy could have 100 arrest records and they’d still mentally justify choosing him over their kids. Once their private parts start to tingle, everything else becomes secondary. And may God help you if you get in the way of that. I’ve seen kids left stranded, kids left hungry and even abandoned when they want their fix of new penis. I’m talking toddlers. Don’t get me wrong, men too have done some diabolical crap as well but if we create a ledger, I know who’d win ha…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 05:15 PM
5

I’m telling you man, the speed at which they do this crap around strange men would give you a headache. Actual father = bad boyfriend = safe enough to sleep in the same bed with. And all because they want to get their private parts serviced.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 07:14 AM
10

Just messiness all around, divorcees, step kids, false allegations. No thank you. 🤢
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 06:49 PM
1

Mines was taking spy like espionage photos out the window with me holding our 30lb daughter in one hand claiming I was dangerously “dangling” her…. Never mind I can easily lift 200lbs with each hand. It was like I was living with a mole. The point is, does your evidence leave you looking like a despicable human being. I.e peep hole cameras or does it legitimately show her in ways that are detrimental to raising your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 01:36 PM
3

The alternative could possibly be worse. If it is difficult for you at 50/50 imagine 80/20 for the child with the other parent? My mother had 100% with me growing up. 2/10 would not recommend as a kid. I needed my father. Came very close to choosing a life of crime and almost became a statistic. Some fathers actually wouldn’t mind 100% custody, I know I wouldn’t. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 10:03 AM
14

Your words to her: “There is nothing familiar here, I wish you the best, I will grant you the divorce you want.” They constantly speak of a woman’s intuition but when a man’s trust is shattered or we feel as if another man has had their way with our wife in bed then it cannot be the same. It will haunt you every time you lay beside her - don’t torture yourself in that way. If she was adamant on divorce then she’ll be adamant again in the future. She sees very little value in marriage, she needs …
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 02:39 AM
3

Huh? How can a father be a father for ~40 days out of the year? Do you know how discouraging that feels? At that point, why not ask the boyfriend or step dad to look after the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 09:47 PM
15

She’s having cold feet about joining the roster of other men. The second she mentioned divorce your marriage became compromised. Let her become their target practice. As another poster said, she’s (your wife) more than likely is having relationship issues with the other man. Hear how crazy that sounds?! You need someone in your life that actually believes in their vows made before God.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 09:12 PM
4

I still don’t understand how it’s possible for another parent to block or a delay a surgery, especially a vital one. Your daughter is the only one suffering here.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 06:17 PM
1

Let her get the title grand custodial, it’s just a “power term”. What matters is actual time. If you are 90% there to half a year with your kids, that’s all that matters, heck get her a crown with jewels labelled “queen primary conservator custodial parent”. What matters most is time with your kids…. Your kids when older will not give one rats ass about said title, believe me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 04:15 PM
1

How does it work for exchanges? Do you sometimes drop the kids off to him?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 04:12 PM
1

Hmmm, how do you mean no true 50/50? If she gets an extra few days a year. Trust me that is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I.e. you get 180 while she gets 185. Unfortunately women usually care more about titles. I.e primary, custodial parent. Funny enough the child grows to be 18 and that title means jack squat 😂. The courts care about their feelings so they’re going to be awarded this title, even if you were equal in your caregiving duties and capabilities. I was raised by a single mom …
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 04:10 PM
5

Focus on your daughter’s eye health first and foremost, no way in hell should you allow the feelings of a grown ass hairy adult to supersede a medical situation of a child!!!!!! which could affect her for the rest of her life. Everything else is secondary.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 04:12 AM
2

How can you feasibly keep 50/50 if the mother can decide to move 25 miles at will?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 11:34 PM
12

Next time he’s in court: “he emotionally abused me by being all happy and chirpy around our kids l, I need a tpo, I am in fear of my life.”
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 12:21 AM
1

Did you end the union?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 11:14 PM
4

What sort of foolishness is this?
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 02:08 PM
6

One foot in the door and one foot out. Some things are hard to “unhear”.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 10:51 PM
8

You can politely decline. Do it without a tinge of bitterness or malice. Unfortunately for men, we are looked down upon for saying the word “no”. We are bashed and demonized. We are supposed to “just take it.” Your response, if you feel that way: “I’m ok thank you though.” Make that day exciting and supportive for your kid! Our sons pre k graduation is in a few days, I’m showing up to support him, when it’s over I’m going to embrace him, tell him that I love him to the moon and back, how proud I…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 07:47 PM
0

Ok ok, fair enough. Well that’s a positive start. If you don’t have any kids I’d avoid her like the rays of the sun.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:39 PM
1

Oh my, you are a better man than most here. To lay in a bed with a woman that’s carrying another man’s child. 😶‍🌫️ I’d rather sleep on the head of a needle. You need to motion to the courts that you are not this child’s father, I’d be camped in front of the court house or a lawyers office. She’s already shown you how little she thinks of you, you want this in greater doses? If you don’t have any kids with her you need to never speak another word to her again as long as God gives you breath. Plea…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 12:21 PM
14

I don’t know man, I tend to disagree a bit here. I’m on the side of vows and commitment. Granted there are situations where things are untenable. I would have still preferred my father in the house with me as opposed to strange men who were there for one reason. It’s often said that kids and a hostile environment is toxic for them, while true it often boils down to two adults who’s ego, held on resentment and need to be right or a victim are what leads to this chasm. Imagine me teaching my son t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 02:31 PM
6

Thanks man, in a much better position now as I spend time with them regularly (50/50) and we have a blast together not just in the fun stuff but in everyday parenting as well. You have to hold strong, find healthy ways to cope with not seeing them. Start a side business, learn how to play basketball, chop firewood etc… If you break she wins and will absolutely paint you as unstable and a monster, even worse is that your kid will loose even more. Parents that do this are terrible humans.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 04:25 AM
11

No greater pain a man can feel to have your own kids kept away and you not know where they are, if they’re ok or how they’re feeling. When my ex kept my kids away for months while the courts dragged their feet I had to trick myself into thinking I didn’t have kids just to get by and get out of bed to lace my shoes most days. It was mentally draining as there’s a limit to how much you can trick yourself. I had to take down every photo in the house of them. The pain was too much. She took them and…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 04:07 AM
4

Any injury to a child needs to be treated with seriousness of course, that’s first and foremost. An injury however shouldn’t be turned into a means to take away one’s parenting time. Mistakes happen and kids get scrapes bumps and knicks all the time or as a female family court lawyer said before “kids are generally rambunctious and prone to injury”, we shouldn’t be so quick to point the finger and label him a poor father or parent for that matter. To the op, yes you do need to pay more attention…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:57 AM
-8

WHERE does it say serious allergy in his post? Do you not see where he said inflated nonsense? It’s insane to want to fill in blanks that aren’t there. Insane crap. Crap, apparently my folks were piss poor parents when I was misdiagnosed with gastritis for months and was an hour away from death due to acute appendicitis. Point is, mistakes happen. It doesn’t make him a terrible parent. If he repeats this mistake again then it is completely on him and he definitely needs to do and be better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:44 AM
-8

This was a simple mistake. I’ve got a married friend and his kid tripped and literally ripped two of his front teeth out, I mean root ripped out of socket…emergency room and all. Is it abuse or neglect then? Or does it rise to abuse or neglect when parents are no longer together and at least one is trying to push for full custody?
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:38 AM
3

Most fathers are one knee scrape away from losing their kids. What if you guys were still married and this happens… is it still abuse? Because you’re no longer together anytime your kid becomes ill or is injured does that mean abuse?
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 01:35 AM
15

Par the course. This is expected behavior. Consider it an expensive lesson. Typically they’d have you buy them something expensive before they file for divorce. I.e a new house or a new suv. If you know in your gut the relationship is rocky and she’s insisting on a big ticket purchase… plan accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 12:10 PM
2

They’ll find every which way to justify searching for a new penis. Don’t even bother. I’ve seen them even abandon their kids for sex. Their justifications go through one ear and out the next. One thing I’ve learned is that the tingles is far more potent than anything else, it’s as if it fries their brains.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 12:07 PM
7

Radical acceptance is the way. Face the storm head on, no umbrella, no rain coat just a pair of wind goggles!
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 11:04 AM
3

Most would better protect an affair partner over their own kids. I’ve seen this time and time. I keep telling my friends that when a woman wants a new penis absolutely nothing will get in her way, they’d literally unalive you to get you out of the picture if it meant that. I can write a book, I’ve seen mothers leave their kids hungry to get sexed down by guys. Made me sick to my stomach.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 11:09 AM
13

What’s interesting is that these connotations will mean jack sh** in a few years. Let her focus on the title and you on spending quality time with your kids. Some parents are concerned with or high off a title. “I’m primary parent”. What the hell will that mean when your kid is 21 and either wants nothing to do with you, despises you or has cut you out of their life? Focus less on the title and more on ensuring that you have a bond with your child and raise them to be decent and responsible adul…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 05:04 AM
12

You are going to be the bad person regardless. Don’t seek external validation. Before I do anything I ask myself where is it coming from? Goodness, spite, vengeance? Once you have the answer there then you know how to act accordingly. I avoid the latter two like the plague, I’d much rather just ignore and move on, no point in staining your soul acting like a demon. I’m about to ask the court to appoint a parenting coordinator. I cannot deal with this for another 15 years. Having kids with the wr…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:19 PM
10

Absolutely everyone deserves agency. Who would want to keep someone in their life who no longer wants to be a part of it? To your point though….Tell that to the many kids who are simply along for the ride on some eternal quest for happiness. Remember who gets custody 90% of the time and by default. I for one would have been better off being left with my father. Would have spared me from being around other men who did not have my best interests at heart.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 10:47 PM
6

Police officer: “Well, New Jersey is a mother state”. It was at that point I realized that men have very little to no recourse in either what’s done to them or how they’re treated. Unless she’s literally letting you of your blood, society will turn a blind eye and will often ask you to”what do you to do her to make her do this to you”.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:14 AM
2

Yup, you cannot be a spare tire for anyone in this lifetime. There is no honor in it, it isn’t biblical, it isn’t a form of self sacrifice - it is pure and unadulterated self humiliation. There is so much power in moving on swiftly and finding someone that both loves and value you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 05:48 PM
2

Oh wow. “Keep in mind she’s with her AP but I don’t want to touch that subject and I want to leave everything in the past and see if there’s something that can grow organically again” Other men are better suited to respond. Wish you all the best. Tough spot.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 03:06 AM
1

Indeed. Just one sentence would have sufficed. He would have required mounds and mounds of paperwork and hearings to rebut. I’ll never forget that during the final mediation, my ex had changed custody at her whim as if it were hers and hers alone in terms of access to our kids. My lawyer said that I should be thankful and grateful as this (50/50) rarely happens in my municipality in New Jersey, as mothers tend to get custody by default.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 02:45 PM
1

I am a man, barring some extreme circumstance I think he is mentally unwell as well. ANY parent who chooses to forego time, especially the formative years with their kids are suspect. Granted, I do admit and know how it feels to be beaten down so much where you may truly feel like walking way is the better option to preserve their mental well being. (The kids). Imagine a mother so bent on keeping a father away that she would lie and say that he abused their daughter sexually and would even take …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 02:40 PM
6

Agreed. This is why It baffles me to see men who literally try to hijack kids that aren’t his and never will be. It must be a mental disease. They are trying to rile him up of course. The instant he caves, he’ll swiftly be going to jail and she’ll be filing to change his daughters name to the others guys name. All to feed a delusion. So sad for the kids in these situations to have strange men forced into their lives as some sort of replacement daddy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:07 PM
14

Assuming this is clickbait. (Sounds like to an extent). It’s blowing my mind how much folks value money above all else. I read betrayal, stability etc. but ffs where in the vows did it say money? I understand its importance yes but sheesh In this case (assuming not made up). The guy made an investment that fell through. If we are going to give a pass for a spouse to say welp, your investments didn’t pan out, I’m on to greener pastures then what’s the point of marriage? In this case the man was a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 01:31 PM
2

She’s asking for divorce though. How do you mean don’t divorce? I’m all for in tact families as opposed to blended families but you cannot and should not force a person to stay with you if they want to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 12:13 PM
-1

This does not lay on your shoulders. She’s the one breaking her vows. Oblige her, wish her well and completely cut her off from your life. Grant her this divorce asap. And please don’t do the pick me dance as so many of us men try to do. “I’ll show her how good I am, she’ll surely come back…”. No, you’re simply humiliating yourself at that point. Move on in dignity. “For better or worse”. You didn’t go to Vegas behind her back and have a weekend filled with craps, prostitutes and drugs, you did …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 11:15 AM
5

You must not let these situations change you as a person. As another person commented. You are disappointed because you had a particular expectation in mind. She will not see how much of a good or decent person you are by your actions outright or through your kid as a proxy. You are wasting your energy and efforts here, pour it into your kid or kids. You cannot manipulate or convince someone to respect, admire or view you in a positive light. This sounds really familiar. You matter man, your wor…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 08:08 PM
2

I stopped reading at “ex husband”. Sorry guy, the loss here lay with you. Unless she’s a widow or single I have very little interest for anything long term. Hard to take any measure of a promise or vow from her seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 01:44 PM
11

Mines came by and stole my chop-saw. Edit: I almost forgot the time where she came over and cut a hole in the lawn mowers gas tank and the portable filler tank as well. Her leaving: I didn’t bat an eye, no space in my heart for a person that would not just lie on myself but also innocent kids - but she took one of the things I had a sentimental attachment to. It’s what I used to build many things for the kids around the yard. I saw a silver lining in that there was nothing else she could ever ta…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:08 PM
8

All the more impetus to get the process over with to save yourself from these sort of situations. Something like this would kick me into warp speed in terms of getting things done. I.e. finalizing custody, moving out etc. Out of sight, out of mind will work wonders for your mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 10:41 AM
8

Spare tires are usually placed in the worst of places. In trunks or more common underneath the vehicle where it gets all dirtied by the filth and muck on the road. You sir are worth more than a spare tire, yes it will hurt but she’s already given herself away to another man, it is best she go be with said man and leave you in peace to heal. Give her that freedom she desires. The freedom to sleep around etc. It would literally haunt you to think of the things she’s done with this other man and so…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 08:42 PM
1

Frustrate me you say? Normally I am very peaceful person but this time I will step just an inch outside that circle. Your line: “I can see why you are divorced” - What you said to me told me everything I need to know about you. You didn’t frustrate me, I shook my head and had an amazing time with my kids out to lunch. I shook my head for men that are trying their best to move on with their shattered lives and not worry about exes.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 03:01 AM
2

This was a part of my original message to the mod In his channel - a message he deleted. Show me where I was being personal or incident something vile or “wrong”. I’m glad this post gained a bit of traction as it highlights two things (hopefully). 1) People should have a means to express their opinions, especially so if it’s not foul or rude and 2) Men clearly are still leaps and bounds behind in terms of regaining our self respect or dignity. We truly need to break free of the emotional bondage…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 02:55 AM
1

This. This is what you are telling yourself. Even now you show no contriteness. Just an overall shame. At no point did I become personal. In fact you attempted to shame me somehow by saying “I can see why you are divorced”. You come across as someone who doesn’t like to be challenged when “challenged” is simply a different point of view. At no point did I call or suggest anyone was weak or pathetic, just that men need to focus more on raising their kids as opposed to shaking in their boots in wo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 02:47 AM
8

Wasted enough of my Sunday on this. Going to park with my kids. God bless man. Focus on your kids man, I promise you this day is inconsequential in the greater scheme of things.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 09:12 PM
14

Why did you delete my messages then? Post here what I posted there. In fact my messages had the most upvotes there so I’m assuming as difficult as it was to hear some men gravitated towards it. Every sentence I stated was in the benefit of men and their kids who have gone through a divorce. You got hurt when I did not agree with your point of view as in “for the kids”. You’re more concerned with the optics, I’m concerned with 18+ years of raising a child. That’s >18*364 days. Not a single day ou…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 09:09 PM
10

Just look at the vitriol In your message. You guys truly need help. All the best man. Here’s to taking the high road and not responding in kind, not in buying a gift in an attempt to mask the pain and hurt of rejection. Face yourself in the mirror. A inconsequential gift means nothing in the grander scheme of things. And you had the nerve to direct message saying that “you see why I’m divorced”. You sound exactly like a few aunts I have who thought breaking up with a man would hurt or break him.…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 08:53 PM
6

And that’s excellent! That’s all I am promoting. My kids made crafts at their school and my response was 800% supportive. “Great, wow!” “That’s amazing” etc. Hate benefits nobody and is truly a poison. We all need to move on and be better human, parents, neighbors etc. but self delusion doesn’t help anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:33 PM
7

No one suggested they shouldn’t. We all have mothers, no need to warp what’s being said. Focal point: There is no good in using the “best for the kids” as a vehicle as a means of validation ESPECIALLY when there are so many other areas one may be lacking in in terms of being a parent. Some are shaking in the boots about a gift…. When was the last time you spent one on one time with your kids? When is the last time you taught your kids a valuable lesson in life? Etc. (not you in particular). But …
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:20 PM
7

It’s not so much about being an alpha but rather and my stance is focusing on rebuilding and more importantly the kids. The mod appeared incensed that I challenged the premise of “best for the kids”. My stance was that the man need to focus more on himself and showing his kid a strong example and not literally shaking in fear of what to get as a gift for an ex wife. Maybe I touched a nerve when I suggested that some men use this premise (best for the kids) as a way of trying to prove to their ex…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:10 PM
8

Heck I even suggested that men use that energy to take their kids out fishing or something as opposed to stressing over Mother’s Day. Oh well, taking the kids out for lunch. My wish is that some divorced men would break free of their emotional bondages to their exes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:00 PM
4

Look at the current climate. A woman’s thoughts are enough to get a man convicted of things he did not do. We are moving in extreme caution. Doubly so if we’ve had to deal with betrayal, breaking of vows, having kids used as weapons etc.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:49 PM
4

Ha “past is the past”. What a load of bs. Those words are going to haunt you every single time you are intimate with her. She deceived and lied to you. You are going to imagine how another man had his way with her when she was supposed to be in a committed relationship with you. Lots of other decent women out there. Let this divorcee go.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:44 PM
15

White knighting 101. You cannot buy love, adoration or respect from another person. Her relationship is with your kids that you share together.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 04:52 AM
0

How can he protect himself against allegations of abuse that usually come from the hands of a woman?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 12:37 PM
5

Get that bag Kween! Erm, I mean sir! In all seriousness, we are all equal right?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 04:25 AM
2

I’ll repeat it a bit louder this time. The hardest part of a divorce is LOSING ACCESS TO ONES KIDS AND TIME WITH THEM. Most men get over the woman fairly quick, especially if she opened her legs to another man. What we miss is the ability to be in our kids lives as we do not want our kids to be a part of the terrible stats that occur when kids are raised in a single parent or stepdaddy/boyfriend situation.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 01:09 PM
1

This is the mentality of a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 06:35 PM
1

Why would she force a child to wear glasses in the first place if he doesn’t need them?
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 12:33 PM
9

Without kids you can maybe entertain the idea…. But when someone is willing to callously throw away their family dynamic, they can never be trusted again.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 01:51 PM
3

Wow. Behind a pizza place in her car. You might as well say behind the dumpster. They have porn videos with people having sex behind dumpsters. Let me guess…. But sex with you was probably a chore? Or any kind of affection for that matter.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 04:11 PM
4

Yup, indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 04:35 AM
3

You can spend the rest of your life mourning the loss of someone that betrayed you…. That is not healthy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:22 PM
2

You are the same man that went on a spiel essentially making most men who work a 9-5 to be literal nothings or lowlifes. As if we come home drop our clothes, hit the couch and drink beer until bedtime. You would be absolutely gobsmacked to know there are some of us that cook, clean, wash clothes, organize the household, plan trips, pay the bills etc. What is your point on pta meetings? Is that the measure of a “good parent”? You can believe and feel what you may…. Men are worth more than money o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:21 PM
0

The next logical step or place is r/adultery….the amount of reasons to trash vows are astonishing. I will say this though, and this applies to both genders. More people need to embrace fickle folks leaving their lives at the slightest waves or troubles in life…. Imagine spending a lifetime with someone who is on the fence about you or views you as plan b,c,d….. that is tantamount to a wasted life in a lot of ways.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:24 AM
1

You are wasting your mental energy here.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:20 AM
0

lol at the passive aggressiveness. 😂😂😂😂 You speak as if his divorce is a slight to him. God forbid he finds a loving and respectful woman to be at his side until his last breath. 😅😂😂 Most men here are only hurting at the loss of time spent with involved children… not at the loss of a fellow adult partner.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:18 AM
8

Once they start crying and sobbing, you are as good as guilty. See that video lately where a man who’s been a paraplegic for 20+ years was accused of kicking in his ex door? A door that swings outwards nonetheless… 99% of men are hardwired to believe a woman who is weeping and sobbing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 04:59 AM
21

I’d text her back “Martin Luther King had a dream as well….have a good day”
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 04:52 AM
1

My takeaway as well. Women can do no wrong apparently. It always turns into whataboutism.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 03:22 AM
-1

Ha! I thought I was in r/divorce for a second. Remember guys: “ happy wife, happy life.”
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 02:24 AM
5

Blocked them ages ago. They turned cold ergo I moved on. Not everyone has the ability to be decent in the face of a divorce. My ex father in law. “I love you man.” After divorce: Looks at me as if I don’t exist. Stung for about 10 minutes and then I mentally moved on from it all. No animosity from my end, just pure indifference. There’s billions of people on this earth, find someone or even another family that appreciates you. 💪
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 01:26 PM
7

Such a strong and brave man for stepping up to the plate.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 05:34 AM
10

In before this post gets flagged or banned. Some single mother out there is going to get offended and well we know how society acts when they get offended. Imagine leaving work after a long grueling day, all excited to go home and greet another man’s offspring.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 04:49 AM
13

It’s actually more a function of time and not rules. Because most fathers only have four days a month we often want to make them as “pleasant” as possible by doing fun and engaging things. It’s almost impossible to be a parent in this context so most are relegated to being a fun uncle in the hope that they can forge some sort of bond or connection with their kids before they go back to their “real parent”. Judges know this but couldn’t give two shits.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:14 AM
4

It is indeed sad and it’s been a great source of pain for me but I’ve had to compartmentalize that pain and seek a better path forward for them. The pain of not being with your kids everyday, to show them guidance, love and protection is a pain that will cut deeper than any woman leaving ever will. I never envisioned a broken home as it is the one thing I told my ex I abhorred, yet here I am after she chose to leave. It was not her leaving that bothered me in the least, it was a promise broken t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 02:25 PM
6

You need to get a grip on this asap. If your ex manages to get a stronghold on your sons mind as in completely alienate him from you then he WILL be severely damaged. I say this as someone raised by a single mother under similar circumstances. You either deal with this now or deal with a damaged 15/16 year old son who will more than likely flirt with either depression or the legal system. Mother-son alliances are the worst. You should have no concern for her personally or her feelings, she is si…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 02:09 PM
5

The vows have been broken - what is there to reconcile? This is doubly so an exclamation point if another man was involved. (99% of the time there is). He’d be doing himself a grave disservice. Is he not worth more than a spare tire or some backup plan? “Hey Bob, we know we fired you last week without severance or notice but we kinda need ya back as the new guy didn’t show up? When will you be coming back in, oh don’t bring any of your personal stuff back into your space just in case he shows ba…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 07:23 PM
10

Cut ALL contact and focus solely on your kids. She is no longer your wife. Don’t be gaslit into the whole best friends forever nonsense. How can you ever truly move on? Hi, hello, good day, good bye. If it relates to the kids then a discussion can be had regarding their wellbeing. You don’t have to be bitter but it is a ok to treat her as someone you once knew and now share a child together with.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 07:00 PM
2

Sorry for the kids. Godspeed mate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 10:15 AM
6

As long as victimhood is alive and well in the us, it won’t change. Tears in a courtroom outweigh the truth and what is right or in the best interest of any child. Any emotion or concern shown as a man is automatically used against you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 03:37 PM
8

Sorry mate, buckle up for a long ride. When you have kids with dirty cheaters you expose yourself to a world of pain, spitefulness, vindictiveness, vitriol, oneupmanship….
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 09:53 PM
3

Yup. I agree. This is truly sad for kids. Not only do they have to see their parents act as cold as ice towards each other and have lost their very own family they now get to see their parents essentially trying to one up each other as if they are in some sort of competition. It’s no wonder why divorced kids are often maladjusted as they grow into adults and tend to get divorced themselves in the long run. Sickening.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 12:21 PM
2

No, a grounded man would not be PARTY to this. NO WAY, could I date or be having sex with a woman and be complicit with her in separating her kids from their father. That's insane. For what, just to ejaculate inside of her? FFS.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 07:49 PM
1

That last sentence is why the world is all sorts of fucked up. I fucking give up. Dumbest shit I've heard for the year. Fuck, we are doomed if men think like this. "The power of the vagina is stronger than almost anything you can imagine. That's reality". Taking a break from reddit. I've read it all now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 07:44 PM
2

A lot of ranting but I read nothing really as in it wreaks of copium'. You found out the hard way. No worries though I was attempted to be raised by guys such as yourself - Trying to play some hero role. Me as a young child then, wanted no part of you. No matter all the trinkets, junk you'd purchase - You are not another man's child's father. It's really not a difficult thing to grasp. It hurts to hear, yes. No need to get worked up over it. How is it that this deep bond or connection that you s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 07:28 PM
-1

I don't think it's a matter of ego on the actual father side as any normal functioning man would defer (If he's living with another man's kids) to their actual father. We could be dealing with a case of egoism on the other side of the fence as in the "This is my kid now" mentality. I've seen it time and time again. It's akin to a mental disease to me to want to take over another mans' kids who will never have any dna bound relationship to you but it does happen. I've seen many stepfathers who wa…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 02:16 PM
1

NOBODY is convincing your ex of anything. ANYTHING SHE DOES IS OF HER OWN FREE WILL. I hate when men FAIL to hold their ex's accountable for anything. FFS -
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 12:24 PM
2

You’re missing my point. Who is the father here? Whose sperm met with an egg and help produced your daughter? Mr. Softball? No need to be threatened by this man who for whatever reason wants to both piss you off and play save the day to your ex by extolling his virtues into your daughter. This is where you step in and teach your daughters the principles you’d want them to have. Your ex may feel as if she’s winning something by hurting you, but trust me she isn’t…. Your kids are smarter than you …
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 11:31 AM
1

I hear you. The blame lay with her however, she’s the mother, he’s simply someone who lives in the same house as your daughter. She’s not driving home the fact that time with her family is just as important, if not more, than a single event. She’s a fully grown adult, this man who will never be their father does not have a mind control chip implanted in her head, she’s doing this on free will. This is why blending families is a bad idea in my books, you have literal strangers trying to live thro…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 11:20 AM
6

Don’t feel bad, when I told my ex that my grandmother had died and I wouldn’t be able to have the kids for that weekend as I had to attend the funeral, her response was “well I have a family event too, you need to pick up the kids.” You can’t force someone to be empathetic. Just cut her off as if she has the bubonic plague and focus on the relationship with your daughter. Best thing to do with a demon is avoid them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 11:14 AM
1

If there are no kids involved I say let the dirt and pieces of sh*t destroy each other. It’s like seeing who can cheat the best. Reminds of the spy vs spy cartoon. Good gosh is it ever messy out here, vows mean jack squat. It’s as if the brain is better served being in the pelvic area of the body.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 04:15 PM
2

You cannot litigate away contempt. You have to view her as someone you simply had sex with that resulted in an incredible child being born. Let her go.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 01:41 PM
12

Unless it’s related to the well being of the kids or their logistics it’s not worth a reply or even acknowledgement.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 05:17 AM
1

How are your kids an asset to another man? I don’t understand it. We don’t mean to bash single mothers here. I was raised by a single mother, I WISH THIS ON NO BOY. It did not feel natural at all and in fact very weird.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:31 PM
18

Meet him and shake his hand. “Thank you for helping to take care of my son. I appreciate it.” Neutralize any attempt at making you feel small. In all fairness she knew exactly how it would rile you up and make you feel less than. The reality is that he’s your son, not his. No new age stepdaddy labels, blended family nonsense can change that. Your lineage lives on in him, not another man. Just be the best father you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 11:34 PM
24

I can almost feel him hyperventilating through his text…. Insane to think that women do this in terms of false allegations where the man is arrested and THEY DONT BAT AN EYE.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 07:39 PM
3

Yup, she sure did. Wanted to send me to prison on false charges of abuse Tried CPS 8 times so far. (And counting - Kids being interviewed again) Tried for full custody x amount of times Tried to kick me out of the house after she left on her own accord She took out a HELOC against the home without my signature. (How she did this only God knows - some sort of fraud comes to mind) - 50k skimmed off the top to her. I could write a small book. I worked myself into the dirt simply defending myself an…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:43 PM
1

Good gosh, is every man going through a divorce an abusive monster?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:36 PM
1

Close to 100k here for a marriage of 2 1/2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:34 PM
3

Some of us here can only wish for this sort of outcome. Heck we’d even buy her the ticket. She leaves your life to chase her fantasy of sex every hour with a new guy and she leaves you with your son. That is a win win. The only downside is that your kid will essentially be losing a relationship with his other parent. That is highly selfish of her to prioritize this fantasy over actually being a parent.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 11:14 AM
8

Having worked for billionaires for many years I don’t place much value on income when it comes to choosing a partner. Yes it’s important that another can take care of themselves but I cringe at seeing people place such a high value on how much someone makes. I’ve literally seen people spend 35 million on a new jet and take a nap as if nothing ever happened. I am MUCH more concerned about who they are as a person.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 12:58 PM
2

Is your son safe, does he have proper shelter, stability? Those are your two primary questions. No way I’d let or allow a child to be dragged down bottom. They didn’t ask for any of this. If she has custody (99% of women do). Let her know you will take your son in until her situation improves.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:16 PM
2

Yup, sooooooo many men put the feelings of their ex above what is best for their kids. The common trope for this is "but she is the mother of my kids".
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 03:09 PM
2

I stopped reading at "at her place the whole time with me coming over".... Sir, if you don't operate to change this dynamic asap you WILL be relegated to an Uncle-Father by the court system when she cites that the kids are "stable and thriving" under the current arrangement and that changing this will not be in their best interests. Throw in an allegation of abuse here and there and you are cooked; your kids will loose access to you faster than that judge can digitally sign that court ordered pd…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 11:07 AM
6

“Your honor, my hormonal imbalance caused me to accuse my ex husband of domestic violence, child abuse, sodomy…etc. Yup, that’s the reason.” Yes hormonal changes do occur but why do said changes result in evil and wicked behavior? I.e. false abuse claims, domestic violence against men, the keeping away of kids etc. Why don’t said hormonal changes bring about positive behavior? I.e. cheery and upbeat attitudes, wanting to bond together etc?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 03:01 AM
17

I mean, the stats are there and we as a society still choose to ignore them. Single mother households are not an optimal solution for kids. I was raised in one, abused by a boyfriend of my mother who stomped me into the ground at 12… almost seen it all as a kid. Would have given a left arm to have the protection of my father. Why do the courts continue to do this? I won’t even go into the mental aspect of it all. It is a miracle I made it out as not to become a statistic myself. Breaks my heart …
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 01:08 PM
17

Yeah, Canadian courts worship women. It’s odd what the west has turned into. I’ve said many times that a mother’s feelings trump the best interests of the kids 99% of the time. It’s become so brazen that the courts don’t even try to hide or disguise it. Notice here that you had to literally fight to your last penny to SIMPLY be an active father in your kids life. I’m surprised you weren’t scolded for fighting so hard. You’ve every right to feel the way you do, you and more importantly your kids …
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 10:44 AM
1

Man I love this. The part where you convinced her it would better on the other side of the fence. More men need to take this approach. As I always say, when they want to leave, let them go... hold the door open for them, heck put fuel in their car, pay for their uber etc. Let them go. I tried this and it only made her more upset. When she left the house, I went out and politely got boxes, packed her things up with bubble wrap, put labels on them and neatly put everything in the garage. When she …
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:46 PM
1

Man I love this. The part where you convinced her it would better on the other side of the fence. More men need to take this approach. As I always say, when they want to leave, let them go... hold the door open for them, heck put fuel in their car, pay for their uber etc. Let them go. I tried this and it only made her more upset. When she left the house, I went out and politely got boxes, packed her things up with bubble wrap, put labels on them and neatly put everything in the garage. When she …
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:46 PM
7

Mines could come out dressed in absolutely nothing or a ghillie suit, makes no difference to me. I probably wouldn’t even notice. As I keep telling the cps agents she constantly sends to my home to harass me - “I do not care about anything she says or does outside of how it impacts or relates to our kids”. You need to look at how she looks on the inside. That’s what counts. In x amount of years time that smoking hot body will fade, sag, stretch etc - gravity always wins. Quit focusing on outside…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 11:28 AM
1

Of course. All well and good. Wish you the best. Tired of seeing men be emotionally afraid of their ex's - Not suggesting that this applies to you. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:56 AM
2

How so? In what world am I obliged to speak to someone I am no longer involved with? What are you processing? There is no more marriage, the union is over and done with. You are now no different than two strangers passing on the street or distant friend if things were amicable. Do you not deserve to move on with your life?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:36 AM
3

Impossible to feel any of these emotions if you simply cease speaking with her except what is necessary about your kids. :)
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:34 AM
8

I’m all for families staying in tact but man once you try to take a man’s kids away from him that is a bridge too far imo. That is one of the most cruelest things you can do to him, especially so if he is an involved and loving father. I came home to an empty house, both of my kids were gone. I would not have minded one second of it was just her that had left but she tried to inflict maximum pain by running off with both kids. That is a severe betrayal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 03:59 PM
4

Yup, only this sort of plan is zero sum and leaves the asset, eh em, man, drained and literally living out of his car 8/10 times.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 11:12 PM
6

It’s called “cashing out.”
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 11:08 PM
1

Yes it can. Absolutely. I've seen many a person, man, woman, "being" - leave for what they thought was an old eternal flame returning into their live only for it to end in chaos. Another option? Is he dating the woman he is in with or are they married? I didn't know people had options when they're married. (news to me).
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 03:40 PM
2

Unless his current wife deceived him insofar as suggesting that she can bear children when in fact she cannot (which does not seem to be the case here) then this is simply the same spiel we see over In the “other subs”, especially so If she’s not abusing him. If he’s not happy he needs to make himself happy. Buy a jet ski, take a trip to Iceland etc. sounds as if he’s fixated on the other woman and the dreams that she’d fix all in his world and make him “happy”. Don’t be a saboteur, be a man, en…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 11:26 AM
4

Well in North America absolutely not. There are many countries in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 10:15 PM
8

Par the course. Now she’s another guys problem. Lots of child free women out there with little to no baggage. Keep it moving 😎
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 09:27 PM
6

LOL 😂 Most men marry women with a very promiscuous past and now the trend, haven given birth to other men’s kids. What youth?
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:25 PM
5

LOL
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:42 AM
11

yup, it is stomach churning to see how you're painted as a monster when the simple truth is that they wanted another guy. I mean, just leave in peace. Why create chaos on the way out? Just focus on being there for your kid. This is a very confusing time for him. Me personally as a kid growing up in a broken home, I wanted my biological father above all else, not boyfriends or step dads.... be there for him.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 03:34 AM
15

Reconcile shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary at this point. ESPECIALLY if she wanted the divorce etc. Give her the divorce she wants and move on with your life. Find a woman that wants to grow old with you. Small tip: please don’t date leading with your money, pretend as if you don’t have it - find a woman that wants you for you and not for what you have.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 07:06 AM
6

Who says they are a family? He is simply around someone he had kids with. They are no longer a family. I don’t buy into “we are a different kind of family now” crap. It’s not about being bitter but rather moving on. The union is no more, the things that bound two actual families into one no longer exist. It is disingenuous to act otherwise, that is deceitful behavior. If I had a cup of water that’s now been replaced with orange juice, I don’t say it’s a different type of water now. People howeve…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 12:35 PM
5

I’m sorry man, what hurts the most is how the future will look for our kids.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 01:39 AM
4

Do you guys share a kid or kids?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 01:36 AM
4

Why is this a death sentence for you? Is it a death sentence for her? Is your life worth any less? Are you any less of a human? She’s gearing up to have other men enter her life. Do you not deserve another woman that won’t leave you? All those flowery words to assuage guilt. The ego to assume that you’d be hurt…. Let it hurt for a while and reply back, “Thanks for sharing. Wish you all the best as well”. Go no contact so you can heal.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 04:47 PM
7

I disagree. I grew up in a single mother environment. I wouldn’t wish that on my kids. Heck was even stomped to powder by one of her boyfriends at the age of 12. I would have much wished I lived with my father during those times. To add I walked a fine line between depression, the proclivity for criminal behavior etc…. The stats do not lie. Kids absolutely need their fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 04:42 PM
3

There’s nothing to work out with her. She’s already spread her legs for another man. It may sound harsh but you must move on. 9/10 when women have sex with another man they have feelings for him and will destroy the thing/person that’s affecting that, even their own kids. Tale as old as time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 07:59 PM
6

You need to remove her from your life asap by getting this process over with - otherwise your hurt, pain and wanting to fix your family is only going to embolden and fuel her. You think she gives two cents about how you feel right now? No man I know wants a broken family or his kids being bounced around back and forth etc but this is not on you, take solace in that. Be strong as your kids need you now more than ever. Shes simply now a person you had sex with a few times and incredible kids were …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:35 PM
3

This is no reflection on you. Do you blame a scorpion for being a scorpion? They sting! It’s what they do.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:25 PM
2

Well that’s a wrap then. He needs to see her as he sees any woman walking by on the sidewalk.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:22 PM
3

A mid-life crisis is no excuse. She simply wants and desires other men. You need to give her what she wants. "Convincing" her to stay will only prolong your agony. Please for the love of God find yourself a woman that wants and desires you, your current spouse does not and has made that very clear. You cannot reason with a woman that wants a new penis in her. Trust me, at the expense of everyone around her, including her kids - she will find a way to get that new penis inside of her. Cut your lo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:05 PM
3

I know the feeling all to well. Recording is what literally saved my life and disproved her lies of abuse. I had mounds of recording proving that I was never abusive in any fashion. It only took one video for the judge to throw out her case. It was so disappointing on a human level to see your spouse sit across in a room and lie so easily and to tell such a lie that would not just separate you from the kids that you helped create but also one that will affect you for the rest of your life while …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:01 PM
7

At this point. He needs to ask himself what brand of tire he'd like to be. Good Year, Michelin, (I heard Pirellis are nice). Some spare tires are better than others. She wants to stay in the house as it is most convenient for her while she's dating. Easy to have sexual partners come over while the kids are asleep in the other room etc. And you better bet your sweet baby Jesus there will be multiple guys over there. Get the divorce over with, move into another room until you have a parenting agre…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 05:50 PM
1

-
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 05:50 PM
3

Rest assured if it is painting a cheating woman in a negative light it will be either banned, taken down and the hosting provider sued. If it has any images or videos of her crying, then it is a wrap. Site will be taken down quicker than it can be archived. Guaranteed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:55 PM
14

After other men have had their way with her now she stirs things up with that nonsense. The nerve. Now way he could ever see her the same way again. I once heard this guy brag about what he does with married women who cheat. My gosh, the acts and things that they do would give these guys ulcers.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 03:20 AM
15

How are you going to break a vow and then circle back as if nothing happened? This is sociopathic behavior. It’s like robbing a bank, doing two years time and going back to that branch to open up a checking account.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 11:14 PM
0

lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 12:56 AM
5

I stopped reading at “when they come back”. Sir, if you allow this to happen while falling into the “ShE iS tHe MoTheR oF mY kIdS” fallacy where you sacrifice yourself for someone that wants no part of you then you have a difficult road ahead. I’m not one to speak in certainties but there is a HIGH probability you will not see your kids again for 10 years at least, best case is that you’d be visiting once or maybe twice a year while having to stay in a nearby hotel. Are you not just as valuable …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 12:21 PM
3

Unless she’s in front of the judge with a needle hanging out of her arm, mouth and thigh, just go for equal parenting. Odds are stacked against you getting full custody of your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 07:08 PM
11

The pain is commensurate with the level of loyalty and adherence you have to your vows…. Remember for better or worse. When the person you expect to be buried beside betrays that for whatever reason that is a nuclear event for men as we generally would hold to it, in most cases ignoring seemingly “better options, younger females” etc for the well-being of the family unit. For a lot, 90% of the grief comes from not being near your kids as you used to which is why most advocate fiercely for equal …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 12:22 PM
8

We gotta get this woman hating man out of this sub. How dare he talk about stats? Doesn’t he know that single women and their boyfriends or new husbands raise the best kids? He did his job by providing his dna, he needs to move on by. /sssss But on a more serious note, it’s beyond a crying shame. I grew up without my father around and that void still exists even until today. I wish women who did this nonsense would see past their own nose. Only the kids are left damaged…. and on that note if the…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 05:34 PM
2

It takes two to remain married. Please do not place the entirety of this situation on your head. I can assure your shoulders are not that strong to support the weight of someone who wants to leave when the waters become choppy or you are literally at your worst.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 04:13 PM
11

Don’t even entertain it. Focus on your daughter, she didn’t ask to be born into this mess of boyfriends, lovers etc. in an ideal world she’d have her father there 100% of the time as she grew up as you’re there for her unconditionally. Think the new guy is going to care one cent for your daughter if the woman stops giving him sex? Not a chance on the sun. Just focus on being a dad she can be proud of. Try to make it as ideal as possible for her so she’s not repeating or prone to repeat the same …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 04:10 PM
4

While communication is important, it isn't everything. The truth is that if someone doesn't love you, no amount of communication can surmount that. You could be the best orator, the most articulate w.e but if another person doesn't love you it is best you find someone that does instead of going all philosophical and going into "deep introspection". Love is complex but simple at the same time. Now if there were things you could have materially done better I.e. being romantic, making her feel love…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 12:53 PM
2

Jesus wept. I’m sorry man. Did she really name you after her boyfriend? I’m traumatized by even reading it. Good Lord
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 03:35 PM
2

Oh I understand it clearly. Access to vagina. Most men unfortunately would kill their own to have sex with a warm body, they don’t care about morals etc. heck she could have just came from the delivery room in a wheelchair and some scumbag lowlife dirty filthy sorry degenerate did I say lowlife? Would be willing to bed her right there. All that aside, the blame lay on both sides. I have ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO respect for women that take their toddlers and infants around strange men. Why not just gi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 08:05 AM
31

You were supposed to literally die. (figuratively and literally) That you've moved on and accepted her destroying her family is a huge affront and blow to her ego. What did it net her? A new sexual partner? More bodily fluids in and/or on her? Was it worth it for the new sneaky sex to upend your kid's life? To boot, the fellow that was having sexual intercourse with her is long gone! lol It's sadistic when one's happiness causes another pain. I feel zero empathy for people that do this stuff. Ab…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 05:21 PM
1

Yup. When the words match the actions there’s no need for closure at that point. It’s beyond clear!
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 02:49 AM
7

Is the sun hot?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:23 AM
9

It’s no way to live. You’d be living like a chicken under a milk crate with a stick propping it up and a string attached to said stick. Mines filed as a way to “punk” me into submission, or whatever that means. She comes from a family that extols divorce and her mom literally dances around at hers (divorced as well - go figure), bear in mind we had toddlers aged 8months and 2 years at the time, guess who she listened to? I realized that I could not live with myself being with someone that doesn’…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 08:21 AM
6

As others have stated, it's manipulation with a huge tinge of evil. If she were a settled and content person, she'd have no reason to want to hurt you via what you hold dear - your kids. She is attempting to drive a wedge in between you and your son. Don't allow her. Disarm her by being the opposite of what she'd expect. My son says it constantly: I don't want to go back to mama, he whole mood shifts but I don't tell her those things - I simply say to him that it'll be fine and that I'll see him…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 04:14 AM
3

At best you can make an argument against alimony. Everything else mentioned is largely not going to matter as 1) You are a man and 2) She is a woman. I would not be surprised if you are reprimanded for your overwhelming evidence against her. Expect to be berated for collecting all of this evidence. Just focus on getting quality time with your kids and move on; don't allow them to become part of the statistics. Spite and vengeance is not the arena of a man, our strength lay in moving on and excis…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 01:27 PM
2

He’s not out of the woods regarding his father’s hard work and labor being passed down. All it takes are a few tears in front of the right judge and he’s toast. Once she starts crying in court he might as well start the wiring process during the hearing to wire it into her bank account…it’ll be a wrap at that point
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 05:05 AM
1

You are in a bind. You took on the responsibility of four other kids that aren’t yours and now you’re stressed out because of it. Where are their actual fathers? Even I’m stressed out just thinking about the complexity of your situation. Can the other kids spend more time with their fathers to take the load off of you?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 04:55 AM
1

Good Lord, four additional kids that aren’t yours? 🥴
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 09:13 PM
1

Not necessarily. For a lot of us raised by single mothers it rings quite true. Go to your local prison, ask a lot of the inmates who they were raised by. It’s not at all what’s best for either parent or their pedantic quest for exact time with their kids. Too often we see what’s best for the kids be conflated to what’s best for their mother. And again we go back to the stats, we’ve had more than enough time to draw many lines both empirically and anecdotally. Every friend I know raised by a sing…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 09:30 AM
5

How dare he ask for 50/50?! The nerve of that beast! You as the mother own those kids. You carried them for 9 months which means you own them for the rest of their lives! Heck, that brute of a man can never be the parent you are - just he wait until you find another replacement father! That uncaring man who dare to share a bond with his own dna! Pfft, no worries queen, the judge will see him for who he is and grant him visitation like the visitor he is! /s
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 11:53 PM
2

My Lord! Did a male judge rule this against you? How are you surviving or expected to survive?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 03:05 AM
2

I see, so $160 leftover after the mention court apportioned obligations?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 02:59 AM
1

Huh, maybe I misread. Are you saying that out of a 2 week pay period you are left with $160 ?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 02:53 AM
12

A tough one. She’s already shown you that she’s willing and able to have your kids grow up around and be raised by other men and for her to entertain the thought of sleeping with other men. She has little loyalty to both you and your kids. When times get tough she’ll fold and disregard her vows and promises to not just you but her family. Tread carefully. You didn’t file, she did.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 09:13 AM
1

What can be done to protect the kids in these situations though, she is literally ruining those little girls in real time. Can you imagine the mental burden of being taught that you were abused by your own father in the worst possible way? That scar will go with them until they die if said lie takes any root. If judges are concerned with the best interests blah blah why not protect these kids from needless medical examinations?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 05:52 PM
32

Turns out most men don’t take to well to quitters or people that break important promises. Although in the case of cheating we are ecstatic that they leave our lives with haste. I’ll say it for the nth time, once we see what our kids have to go through in a divorce we often want nothing to do with the person that brings about this scourge….especially if it’s for selfish reasons. If men were to leave marriages because we’re not happy the divorce courts would be clogged and overloaded for decades,…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 10:17 AM
7

Went straight to trial from day one. The back and forward with lawyers will drain you financially and emotionally. If you cannot come to a settlement within the first month just set a date for trial.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 03:09 AM
7

Ha, 9/10 she’ll never agree to this. Heck a judge wouldn’t and in fact will say to her “don’t you want to have some weekends with your daughter”. Last I checked every weekend equals 8 days a month. There are on average 30 days in a month. If you are not careful you are going to be relegated to an every other weekend father with a Wednesday “dinner”. Most of your paycheck will be going to child support. Find a way to care for your daughter 50% of the time. There’s great joy in dropping your kids …
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 03:08 AM
1

Abuse only matters if it’s in the direction of the mother. A man cannot be abused…. (General theme in the US)
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 05:31 AM
28

Think of it this way. Let’s say you wired up a building with detonators to demolish it and blow it all up to dust. You spent years drilling in the tnt, checking your connections etc. On the day of, you hit the button and nothing happens… the building is still standing. Naturally you are going to be puzzled as to why it didn’t blow up, what went wrong, you’d be inclined to be upset - you failed in your objective. This is divorce to some people. You didn’t implode/explode. To the one trying to des…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 05:21 AM
21

I dare anyone of you madmen here to try this approach: “Honey, I thought about it and you were right, divorce is the best approach, let’s power through this as quick as we can. I’ve been thinking the same for some time but now that the bandaid is off, I too feel relieved - I’m happy for us both that we can now breathe fresh air as we go our separate ways - shake her hands and thank her for all of the good memories”. If you do happen to meet the affair partner - be sure to also give him a firm ha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 04:59 AM
10

My ex even hired a private investigator when I became indifferent about her destroying the family and filing for divorce. When she found out there was no other woman she became even more upset. She would lament to my friends on how I could be so ok with everything. When someone wants to exit your life and put their happiness first, even above the overall wellbeing of your kids - you MUST fast track them out of your life. She was so fixated on her “freedom” that our kids and their future became s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 04:12 AM
11

It’s the truth. Most expect for you to literally die. When you don’t, your very existence becomes offending and imposing. May God help you if you genuinely become happy and indifferent about the divorce. I’ve seen it in real life, whenever I talk casually about the divorce women get upset, as if me being upbeat about it causes them great distress. I remember when I said to a group of ladies in a school setting “oh, no problem I’ll just double check the divorce decree to find out some information…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 04:00 AM
31

When you don’t die as a result of the divorce, it becomes a problem. If you take to the bottle, get sick, loose your job, start smoking cigarettes, have a mental breakdown then you will receive no animus. If you quit a mom and pop store, it’d make you sick to your stomach to find out they became a fortune 50 company a few years later. (Well most hateful people think this way anyways). Had many people ask well, “what did you do to her to cause her to hate you so much”. I can only say that I didn’…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 12:31 AM
22

Funny how they arm the Nuke to destroy their family and then stand there with a shocked pikachu face when there’s nothing left except melted glass. To top it off they expect you to somehow be friends afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 11:24 PM
10

Ok, phew. Thought I was going to read another “bUT ShE is tHe moTheR oF mY kiDs” post. Good job on doing what’s right for them. Kids need a stable father as well. I’ll never understand why men give their cheating spouses everything under the guise of keeping the kids stable. Keeping the kids stable means that you also keep yourself stable. Think she’s concerned about your kids stability by having strange men around them? I’ve seen guys forego their house under this nonsense to go live in a cardb…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:26 PM
2

Most men here would consider it a lottery win if they didn’t have kids with the woman who cheated and left. That would be a blessing from God himself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 01:40 PM
9

Sounds like another “mother of my kids” post. Oh boy….
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 12:10 AM
7

100k + here. All because I dared “fight” for joint custody.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 04:29 AM
1

The last trick up her sleeve is to accuse you of some form of abuse or sexual assault. She’s dead set on you being an every other weekend parent. Remember there’s also an image to uphold, if she walks away from the marriage without “her” kids that’s a MASSIVE loss in the eyes of her peers because the prevailing mindset is that the kids always go to the mothers and their boyfriends in a divorce. Setup cameras in common areas of the home, install a doorbell camera and be mindful of how you interac…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 01:42 AM
12

Either way is the same result. An increased number of sexual partners with her ex asking “how could she”…. Someone needs to write a broadway play as the tale repeats over and over….
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 03:45 PM
4

No filters. Just reality. Look at the comments here. Men pining over their wives that don’t want them anymore. That’s not a life to be lived. I’m not saying to engage in animus but come on. Is that a life you envision waking up to everyday? It serves nobody, it’s not even selfless. It is actually a hopeless state to be in.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 12:40 PM
2

“Mother of my children trope again”. I have NEVER heard a woman say “he’s the father of my kids” let me not try to take everything from him, let me not falsely accuse him of abuse etc… WHEN will men get this into their skulls. STOP romanticizing about women that literally destroy their families, take your kids out of a safe and stable home to go and LIVE WITH OTHER MEN. Why would you romanticize over that. Let me repeat it again: SHE TOOK YOUR KIDS OUT OF YOUR HOME TO GO AND LIVE WITH OTHER MEN …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 11:35 AM
12

Last woman that tried to put herself above my kids had to go asap. When I started to hear “me me me, I I I” I zoned out and immediately checked out. I despise that level of selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:56 AM
8

It doesn’t matter. The vows you both made were broken. Doubly so when sex was had with other people. That old marriage/union is no more. You’re no longer “one”. Let them go.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:13 AM
4

He’s mourning the death of his family and what could have been for his kids. Give him space. Not all of us are into this new age “blended” stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:10 AM
2

Classic case of man being afraid of his ex or stbxw. She has no power over what you do with your kids during your parenting time. Unless you have something stipulated in a signed divorce decree prohibiting travel within the continental US you are ok. LOL at the lawyer stopping you at the airport. QUIT fearing your ex with respect to your kids. That dynamic of fearing her Input is over. You need to make it clear to her that this is how divorce works. There are now two homes, there’s no more union…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 06:48 AM
18

Until men get it through their skulls that vows mean nothing to most women there’ll be no change. It’ll be the same “how could she stories”.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 03:53 AM
20

LOL - what’s the whole point of marriage and having kids then? I imagine most men here don’t feel the butterflies or romantically attracted to their wives. Heck some even think of them as hilderbeasts but for the sake of keeping their family intact they “ride it out” The man’s family is quite broken. You think the other guy is going to give two cents about his kids? Nope, he’s going to be concerned with smashing their mother. I’ve seen kids be neglected and left without food because the new guy …
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 12:41 AM
1

Reminds me of the man that was scolded by the judge for retiring at 44 after putting in his years. His pension salary was enough for him to live off and still supplement taking care of his child. Because it was less than what the mother wanted the judge made a slight at him suggesting that he re-enter the workforce so that he can meet the level of child support the mother was asking for. Work, you plow-horse!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 03:29 PM
2

Stopped reading at another man sleeping there. But I had to take a peek and good Lord, raising another man’s child for 10 years???!!!!! Do you have a father or brother you can speak with? You need emotional support from men to regain your bearings. Your soul is being stripped down to nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 05:27 PM
27

Kids 90% of the time. As much as men are labelled deadbeats etc. most are willing to go through hell to be able to be with their kids everyday, teach them everyday, put them to bed everyday, protect them everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 06:46 PM
6

HA! Tell them to do an interview with me, I’d gladly share how “fair” fathers are treated in the legal system. I remember when my ex took the kids and cleaned out the house while I was at work. I went to the local police station to see what my options were as far as having my kids returned. Officer: “Sir, they are with their mother they’re ok” Me: “how do you mean? And what If I did the same?!” Officer: “Well we’d have you arrested for kidnapping”.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 12:03 AM
1

There’s nothing you can do about it. You’re no longer a family unit. It’s something that your kids will have to get used to.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 08:24 PM
11

It’s as if divorce is a rite of passage in today’s society. The key to one’s freedom or happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 08:23 PM
-5

Hmmm, sounds really cliche. But to each their own. Wishing healing for your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 08:22 PM
-3

How do you mean "primary caregiver" ? Sounds like a legal term and less a practical one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 07:18 PM
5

I will say this though, I had to “fight” tooth and nail to have 50/50 custody while the mother was able to modify 2/2/3 to 2/2/5 at will and at a whim. It was as if custody was hers and hers only to decide. I’ll never understand how most judge ascribe to the fact that kids are better off cut off from their fathers by default. 100% of my friends that have gone to prison grew up without their fathers around.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 05:52 PM
6

Waste of all energy trying to get her to agree. The fact that she has to be convinced as a starting point should tell you all you need to know. Any person who would expend great energy to keep the biological parent away while having no issue entertaining people who will never have a similar bond to said child to be with them the majority of the time is not worth even effort of a conversation. I don’t want to be around another man’s child more than he would like to be if the mother fought to keep…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 05:49 PM
1

Yup, we are divorced. She filed in 2022. She took out the heloc in 2023 and the divorce was finalized in may of this year.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 01:32 PM
1

It was taken out over a year since she filed. Having spoken to the lender it appears she lied and suggested that she was the only owner of the property and they issued it. She lied. I’m trying to hold someone’s feet to the fire in asking how is it I am now looking at a loan that used as asset that I own as a security when I gave no consent.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 07:45 PM
1

Thanks for your reply. I’m still puzzled as well. If it’s possible to just heap extra debts unto people’s head without permission then this is all wild stuff. This loan used the home as collateral. It was definitely a mortgage equity loan. I was able to pull the records from the county clerk office. She took this loan out in 2023 (She filed for divorce in 2022).
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 03:50 PM
1

The house was sold, buyers took possession today. Funds from sale are still sitting in an escrow account. It’s as if she just stole $50,000 in broad daylight.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:40 AM
1

Subpoena?
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:27 AM
4

You forgot visual violence. “He looked at me in a manner I didn’t like!”
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 02:15 PM
1

Mann I’ve seen my ex send her affair partner $100 (found in phone) and chastise me for a $15 bank wire fee when I wired money each month to cover utilities and the mortgage 🤷‍♂️ Never again will I tolerate disrespect on that level. Ain’t.no.way
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 04:50 AM
2

I’m not suggesting that at all. Maybe my delivery was wrong. I’m just highlighting the reality of the situation. I am a parent of two kids who watched his kids go through the worse at the hands of their mother bitter after a divorce even then the judge only consented to 50/50 because my ex ran out of funds fighting me against it. Even just yesterday I got another call from cps with another false allegation (allegation number 4). This time the most heinous of them all.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:09 AM
1

Having seen worse and judges find creative ways to ignore what’s best for the kid as not to “rock the boat”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:04 AM
1

How can he if most judges will not alter custody if it’s currently in favor of the mother?
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 12:01 AM
1

How do you mean “let you” ?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:48 PM
1

Insane that as a father you had to even feel this way. Wow.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:42 PM
1

It boggles my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 09:25 PM
1

I’m all for it. This is a fallen world.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 04:58 PM
5

Yup, fathers have to go to court with binders, photos videos noting involvement in our kids lives to prove we exist. That we have to do that in the first place is an incredibly sad thing. It’s as if the court believes an involved father is an imaginary or being of folklore.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 12:12 PM
14

What’s funny is that they don’t treat their affair guys not half as bad. They wouldn’t inconvenience them out of $50, but you, the man who swore to be committed to them, they’ll go bankrupt trying to bankrupt you 😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:57 AM
5

Those are formative years. They need a father in their lives. Shame on judges that place no value on a father’s input into a toddlers life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:34 AM
1

Unfortunately in cases where the other party has been meticulously plotting, you can rest assured that there’s nothing good planned for you. You need to act now otherwise court dockets which will be filed first by her will state that you did nothing for your kid and she has been the “primary caregiver” since conception to now. I despise people that plot against others. Worst of the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:17 PM
3

Some people chose to end relationships in odd ways. I’ve seen folks treat others like excrement in the hopes they’d would electively leave which takes the onus of them being the “bad guy” away.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:15 PM
4

Sorry to hear that. Now is the time to focus on deciding what sort of time would best suit YOUR kids. (Not what’s preferential to you or her) Studies have shown that kids do better with equal access. That will be your source of great grief and contention. Unfortunately as a man you may have to fight to either your last dollar or shred of sanity to be able to drop your kids off to school on a consistent basis. She’s decided that your nuclear family is no more. Accept it and move on with dignity. …
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:09 PM
-14

Why not post that in your initial response. Why the lengthy verbiage which focused on the ex spouse? It sounds similar to what I read where it was presumed that some men want joint custody just to exert control over their ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:52 AM
-11

I see a lot of spiel here which lay outside of the question asked. You go on about her, not once did I mention her. I am talking about another man disciplining one’s kid. I’ve been beaten down to a pulp as a 12 year old from a boyfriend of my mother growing up when she left to go out. I am simply asking how do other men handle such situations.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:49 AM
15

You have a point. Been there. Slept in my car for 68 days waiting for a trial when she filed a false restraining order to get me out of the house and in an attempt to cede all of my parental rights to her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 05:42 AM
2

Why though?
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 04:52 AM
1

Gotcha. What sort of relationship did you have with your kids prior?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 11:16 PM
1

Either way it’s a destroyed and demolished home. Aka a broken home. Cue blended families and generational dysfunction which manifests in grandkids etc. Sick and tired of seeing broken homes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 05:47 AM
5

Make your life a bit miserable. No worries just find stuff to do outside the house while they are there. You have kids together? Even when they file, it’ll still be your fault. (You made them call the lawyer, embellish the truth and nuke their family - you dirty monster you) /s
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 03:35 AM
25

Employer: you’re fired but we need you to stay on board for an indefinite amount of time until we find your replacement. Oh, there’s no pay as well. That’s akin to the above. Once someone tells you they want a divorce your trust will be in the negative.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 03:01 AM
11

Response: “Thank you.”
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:33 PM
11

Friends with who?
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 10:16 PM
8

Wow, so when she found out that you lost your job she saw that as an opportunity to go after you in court again?
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 09:43 PM
7

Visiting? What are you, a friend? Ffs, your kid has 50% of your DNA. You are something that no other man can be to your child, a father. Tell her to fly a kite in a tornado. Despite societal norms, your kids need you, not their mom’s boyfriends or other guys she has in HER life. They need you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 05:00 PM
4

Ah, never thought of it like that. You have a point. It’s like a perpetual cycle of shallowness. Heck throw in some roids and she’ll have triplets! She’ll go into hyper ovulation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 05:16 AM
14

You’re doing it all wrong man. I can sense the desperation through my phone. A sleeve tattoo? What next, a lifted dodge? Sorry to be blunt but those edgy things you mentioned are as shallow as a puddle in a pothole. Working on yourself means working on yourself for you and your kids. You will not get her back by being edgy and cool.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 11:11 PM
9

This is exactly how false allegations ruin lives. Even after the liars have been outed the accusations alone can negatively impact your life. Doesn’t help either that you’re a male. I’m willing to bed that if the genders were reversed the school would have no issue here.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 12:27 PM
1

Honest about her cheating? Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Honest about a lie?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:56 PM
1

Well then, you are on the right path.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:44 PM
10

$125,000 and counting. 90% of the cost was me having to fight just to obtain equal joint physical custody for their sake. The false tro order cost me $18k alone to fight off. Money that could have went towards our kids college fees, their first cars etc. instead it’s now in the pocket of lawyers who probably can’t even remember our kids names at this point. She was so focused on “winning”, I just wanted what was fair, not just for me but for the kids. Even now she still can’t see past that. Stat…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:32 PM
1

If you believe a word she says then I have a business proposition for you mining diamonds from Jupiter, equipment is mission ready! Good gosh, even in sickness she’s cheating and wanting to destroy everything. You’d think she’d be concerned about making it over the horizon. I
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:24 PM
4

It’s the weirdest thing indeed. I mean, why keep the kids away from the person they literally share 50% of their dna with. Makes no sense. Where does this hatred develop in them? They file to leave most of the time, you’d think this would bring them nothing but joy. I had my ex double back yesterday just to steal my power tools. I took that personal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 12:14 PM
3

Wow, your ex went to a shelter as well? Jesus Lord, how do these people sleep at night. Why on earth would you check yourself into a shelter just to sway the courts to either have the man move out of the house or vie for sole custody.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 05:14 AM
1

I mean, what has to go through your mind to do this sort of stuff? Hate?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 02:28 AM
3

He’s afraid to upset her by standing up for himself. (Sorry if this gets him upset, but a fire needs to be lit under him otherwise another man who isn’t nearly as vested in his sons will be doing most of the rearing) He needs to find a way to get an attorney, sue her for attorney fees, spousal support etc. you are locked jn a lawsuit you didn’t ask to be in. Mediation is an option yes but you don’t seem to be in the right headspace for that. You need to advocate for yourself. If he goes to media…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 07:56 AM
5

He’s ascribing to “she’s the mother of my kids” mentality. Most men adopt this mentality at the beginning of a divorce until they meet the new guy on the porch that they built and think their world is coming to an end. Sell the home, split the proceeds so you, as a father, and the mother can move on and forward in life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 07:24 AM
6

This is no different than someone telling you to "keep still while I harm you." To op, I understand and from the looks of it, you feel defeated insomuch as you're at the drop of a dime ready to leave your home and BE AWAY FROM YOUR KIDS. Don't do this. There is no need to fear this human who is capable of destroying your life with a few tears and allegations. You need an attorney. You need to put on file everything. What also helped me when I was accused of dv when I would not back down from 50/…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:20 AM
12

LOL - “The Spider and the Fly” Cue the incoming abuse allegations since you’re not willing to cede 50/50 custody or move out of the home at her request. !remindme when op gets accused of domestic violence. You need to toughen up and do it now. You are dealing with a person that you do not know now. Reread when you wrote above. You are about to be skinned alive and your kids removed from your life for a period of time if you do not view her as a legal adversary. That doesn’t mean you hate this pe…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 01:36 AM
8

“I think it’s gonna be rough for her when I’m out of the picture” = “Once I’m gone, she’ll come back to her senses and want me again, that’ll show her.” Snap out of it. Focus on your son only, he’s already going to be at a statistical disadvantage insomuch as his family structure is being torn apart. She will be another man’s issue in short order. Be there for your son, he will need you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 07:45 AM
3

It’s not the loss of a disloyal spouse that ruins most men but often the fight they have to go through just to be an involved father. Courts often oblige in keeping kids separated from their biological fathers. Stepguys and boyfriends have more rights it would appear.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 07:40 AM
1

Also bear in mind that to save face that relationship HAS to work. That’s the scary part that leads to your kids being abused and just treated horribly all around, and 90% of the time they’ll stay there and take it all to show what a wonderful choice she made. This is what I hate for kids the most. I’ve seen it happen too many times. I’ve seen toddlers not fed for hours when a boyfriend wanted to have sex all night with the mom. Shameful stuff. But on a more real note, it’s a shame when they eng…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 01:39 AM
9

Pretty soon, telling your wife “no” is going to be considered a form of domestic violence.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 12:06 AM
2

Well apart from having a piece of paper citing that she isn’t credible I didn’t expect much from a system that could so easily deny access to a father in terms from him seeing his kids on the whim of a few tears and a phone call to a judge from a police station. That trial meant that her credibility was lost, if we were to proceed to trial I was going to use that as my cornerstone in terms of getting a fair outcome. It didn’t help her either that I constantly reminded the courts and judges that …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:52 PM
2

That’s the spirit. I was asked to settle outside of trial. In that she’d drop the allegations if I would give her full custody and never return to the house again. I never felt to disappointed in myself. How could I let this demon into my life? What kind of low life human would do this? I did not want anything settled or “dropped”. I wanted it to be on record that we went to trial, presented our evidence and she was found to be a liar. That is exactly what happened.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:47 PM
3

Inform her that there are scores of men who would be glad to assist her with her financial woes. Wish her all the best and cease contact. Very simple.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:43 PM
2

Yup, it was essentially the time that our kids deserved in terms of having an active father or us going to trial. I had nothing to lose. By that point I had already spent $100,000 and she had spent an equivalent $100,000 fighting to keep me out of their lives. In not so many words I conveyed that I’d gladly spend another $150,000 if it meant our kids having a present father in their lives. She finally settled.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 11:41 PM
21

You’ve established that she lied straight to your eyeballs. What are you going to do now? Let her demean you further? Wait and pretend that your wife still wants to remain married to you? Pretend it will all go away? Ask her for a copy of the filing she submitted or that you’ll simply get a copy from the courthouse. Once then you can begin separating yourself from this person.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 03:48 AM
4

Wrestled with this for months. I began to look at judges in a different lens. I kept repeating to myself that they MUST know that this is criminal behavior that is ruinous to anyone's life. When someone doesn't speak out on a lie then by logical thought they MUST be on it or support it. When I kept pressing for equal time for our kids the judge made the comment of "why is your client so fixated on 50/50" - my heart sank, it was then I knew this entire system could not be looking out for the best…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 03:20 AM
14

Whataboutism. Take accountability, don’t cheat on your next spouse/partner/girlfriend and move on. Use your mistake to become a better person. Let the other person heal and move on themselves. I'd be dmned if my ex even dared come around me talking about "sorrys etc". I harbor no hate but don't bring it around me. The pain in our kids eyes during exchange days doesn't allow me to even look at her. As much as a dead bedroom I had, I vowed that I’d never stick my penis inside another woman so long…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 12:25 AM
0

As a society, we fight for money now. Love be damned. Love is a relic. Not saying funds are not important but people would literally drop you like a hot stone if you’re affecting their cash flow. Odd is that I worked personally for billionaires for many years and they never seemed to have an obsession with money as most middle class people do. (And I’m not well off by a long stretch either).
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 10:58 AM
-1

It’s reality though. You’ve gotten exactly what you asked for.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 02:20 AM
6

Sir, with all due respect. You asked for a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 01:36 AM
3

Ooo, forgot to ask. Any abuse allegations thrown your way yet?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:43 AM
1

No problem. If it doesn’t involve the wellbeing of our kids indirectly or directly it’s simply white noise to me. I refuse to put the feelings of an adult over a kid (not even my own feelings). They didn’t ask to be here. No way Jose. You’ll get there. It may take time especially if you’ve seen the legal system in action which heavily and unanimously favors mothers simply by reason of them being a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:29 AM
5

Your daughter is not your ex. She is an entirely separate human being. Do what is absolutely necessary to care for her in sickness. I would dare for another grown as* adult to put their feelings above any sick kid around me. That’s a no no. I too had to get over the fear of upsetting my kids mom as I had ptsd after her false allegations. It was so bad that I thought disagreeing with her meant that a judge would take away our kids from me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 02:27 AM
1

Terrible stuff. Putting the feelings of an entire gender over knowing the truth is terrible stuff and only harms the kids. Liars need to be exposed. As much as it broke my heart to get a dna test done I was left no choice. My ex accused me of domestic violence and child abuse. I sat months in mental anguish and depression trying to figure out why would a parent work so hard to keep kids away from their other parent? It just didn’t add up to me. Unless she knew she wasn’t mines and felt no pain f…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:34 AM
1

This benefits no one except a liar - this is degenerative behavior. This is how generational lies are created. Imagine giving your resources to a child that is not yours.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:18 AM
11

It’ll sting for a bit but you must ask yourself: would you want to be with a person who no longer wants to be with you? Ask yourself that enough times until your self dignity and self respect kicks in. Imagine if you were to get sick this instant - she’s already shown you that for better or worse means nothing. Those vows that were said with teary eyes in front of family and friends mean absolutely nothing. Expel her from your life, it doesn’t have to be acrimonious. Just tell her that you respe…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:11 AM
1

Good gosh. I’d be a terrible father if I told my son to man up and take care of a child born out of an affair or another man’s dna and legacy. It is a shame nonetheless and most men would gladly do this (take care of another man’s kids just to have access to sex from their mother). It’s a twilight zone out there.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:07 AM
1

Wait a minute. Taking care of kids from another man?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 04:00 AM
9

Good gosh, so she essentially blew up her family and reneged on raising her kids to go have sex with some other man? I keep saying…. They’ll burn it all down for their tingles between their legs. Kids and all.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 01:29 PM
1

Welp. You need to remove the emotional component from it all. She's simply now someone you had intercourse with at least twice and as a result two incredible kids came to be. Sounds like there's no remorse there. Dang, those are very young ages for their lives to be upended. Such a selfish move to destroy her family like that. Kids need to be provided for yes, but under a 50/50 arrangement that should be come null and void. She's capable of supporting herself, she needs to find a job that would …
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 12:34 PM
1

Ha, you will lose the second you mention that it’s mom doing this. Best bet is to go to the local fire department and bring this safety issue up. They’ll be the only ones to take this serious as they certify car seat installations. They’ll in turn apply pressure to the police department to do something.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 08:56 AM
8

Most European laws are crafted around western laws so as a man you will get the bad end of the stick by default. Canada, Australia... no exception. Male/Father = Bad Sorry to hear that man. I'm surprised you weren't told that it was your fault she slept with other men. Pretty soon I expect judges to begin saying that... How old are your kids if you dont mind us asking?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 09:31 PM
1

Huh? Your son needs you. What other man is going to look after him the way you will? Who’s going to stay up with him until 6am if he’s sick? The boyfriend who’s there mainly for sex? The stepdad who’s own flesh and blood comes first? Why are you giving everything to her? Do you not have value yourself? Are you not just as important as a parent. This follows the same backward thinking: “But she’s the mother of my kids”. I can assure you your son will do better if you advocate for both yourself an…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 12:32 PM
4

Par the course. 9/10 times when they get caught cheating or their guilty conscience becomes too much they lie and say they’ve been abused in some way. Heck, there was a guy here who was in Home Depot with his then wife and the shopping cart accidentally bumped into her ankle, the demon said in court that he abused her with the shopping cart by violently ramming it into her leg. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 02:44 AM
3

Why are you not able to exercise 50/50 custody? Why are they attempting to turn you into a visitor to your kids?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 01:34 AM
1

Pray tell. Why she gets exclusive use by default? Is it because she’s a woman?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 02:17 AM
8

The fact that us men are literally afraid to death of losing our kids at the mention of divorce says a lot of this demented family court system. I have NEVER seen a woman afraid of losing her kids. I’m disheartened seeing the same story of grief over and over. Notice, it’s not the loss of her that’s putting him in despair. It’s the fact that his God damned kids can be taken away from him all because she is not happy and wants to leave. I just wish to fck these women would leave in peace and not …
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 02:13 AM
3

Time. Quality time is the only way you can combat it. Even though your kids are young they will see that what’s being fed to them doesn’t match reality. If she’s not careful they will grow to hate and resent her. Be there for your kids, show them love, teach them values/principles, have fun with them, bolster their passions…just be the best father you can be. I can remember every terrible thing my mother said to me about my dad growing up, I was maybe 8 around the time. Granted he wasn’t the bes…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 01:48 PM
10

Oblige her. Don’t pine, mourn the relationship asap and move on. She has shown you that she is not wife material. Please for the love of God do not beg her. I’m sick of men going this route. It makes them feel empowered in the worst way. You are worth something as well. Mines would get livid when I attempted to speed up the process. It was as if she was upset I was not hurt or in pain. I was happy to get a quitter out of my life. My ONLY pain stems from the loss of a family unit my kids will nev…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 11:34 AM
3

I was talking to a lady that had two kids. She accidentally sent me a message that was meant for the kids father. Essentially she lied to him saying that something came up and if he could watch the kids. I was shocked and disgusted. This woman put me above her own kids. NEVER AGAIN WILL I DATE A WOMAN WITH KIDS. Just give the kids to the father so they can be free and live their best lives. I don’t get it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 05:27 AM
4

This is the part that pisses me off. Kids lose all around. Now they’ll get to witness the revolving door of men. Step dads, boyfriends, bumble guys, hinge guys, tinder guys, eharmony guys, the whole nine yards.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:42 AM
11

Shake my damn head. I hate when this bullshit happens and there are kids involved. It’s as if the tingles in the vagina is more important than the wellbeing and stability of their own kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:09 AM
11

Why can’t they just go in peace? I don’t understand it. I mean. Just.leave.and.go. It’s not that hard. 1) File the petition for divorce. You’re “unhappy” blah blah 2) Pack your items at the marital residence 3) If the kids aren’t breastfeeding, please leave them in the home they’ve known all of their lives. 4) Shake hands, maybe a friendly hug. 5) Just leave to find your happiness Instead we get the smear campaigns, bpd behavior, false allegations, rewriting of history, criminal activity in the …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 11:37 PM
1

Yup she went to the police station and lied stating that I tried to push her down the stairs. That I would hold our son down and beat him until marks and bruises were on his back and a list of other lies. She wanted me out of the house as I stated two things: 1) I am not leaving my kids behind and 2) I will spend every last $ to get 50/50 custody. She even went so far as to check herself into a domestic violence woman shelter under the guise of a victim. There was never any abuse during the marr…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 06:07 PM
3

Nasty work. For both the guy and her. This is what gets me. As a man, how can another man be this lax around another man’s kids. I mean for the Lords sake. To lay in a bed with another man’s toddler is abjectly low.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:52 PM
2

There were a few times I felt like giving up but I remembered how it felt to grow up without my father. Even the thought of “why doesn’t he want to be in my life” “am I not good enough” hit me into my late teens. That’s a crushing feeling I couldn’t pass unto my kids. If courts don’t make “adjustments” or change their de facto positions, we’re in serious trouble. There was no way in hell I’d let our kids grow up under a single mother dynamic. I was raised by a single mother and while she did her…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 01:36 PM
3

There you go!!! That’s the spirit. Make your son proud. Don’t focus on people that do not want to be with you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:30 AM
8

Facepalm Her message to her friends: “he just doesn’t get it, I don’t know why he just won’t get over me, I told him I want to see other men!!! Ugh 😅” Please don’t devote your energy to this. There are literally billions of women out there. Go find one that loves you. Not like, but love.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:40 AM
3

You’re not a failure. You simply married a person who didn’t take the vows you made as serious as you did. You failed in choosing the right partner, that doesn’t make you a failure. Are you not worth more than dealing with someone who would make a lifelong commitment only to say, I only meant what I said when it suited me or when I was feeling happy?
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:36 AM
15

Nothing is better than a passive aggressive gift. You’re better off donating that money. Set an example for your son. No way in this world would I let my son see me do petty things or passive aggressive stuff. ….Next thing you know he’ll be modeling this same toxic behavior in his life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:32 AM
5

All well and good but sometimes it isn’t so cut and dry. He could be as strong as diamonds from Jupiter but a trash person will be a trash person. If coupled with the wrong human he’ll still get treated like crap.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:15 AM
2

It’s all good. It’s ok and one thing to make our kids the center of our lives so to speak but you are human as well. Show me where it says that you deserve to be treated as if you’re sub human/worthless and I’ll rescind every word typed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:12 AM
2

Wait a minute. So there’s another man out there who’s excited to come home to another man’s kids? 🤯
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 02:09 AM
2

Yup, it’s insane. I could never wrap my head around it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 01:43 PM
3

You, sir, are living in a mental prison. You can still love your kids with all your being but you can do that while still not tolerating abject disrespect or cruelty. With all due respect your grandson is an adult not a 3 or 4 year old so he should have the ability or a large part to operate outside the agency of his mother. (I wish my mother would have dared to stop me speaking to a grandparent growing up as a kid, I would have loathed that to the max!) You are worth something. You are not the …
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 01:39 PM
4

I know the feeling all too well. Especially when you hear your kids repeat terrible things to you and about you that they’ve been told or overheard. I have toddlers as well and mines tried to take my kids around others even while they were Infants. My daughter then was 8 months (she’s now two). I get most men don’t care and would do anything to have sex with women but good Lord to want to be around another man’s infant baby? Even now I still can’t look at her, it’s not anger but rather disgust. …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 01:22 PM
12

This should be a sticky to all of the “BuT SHe iS tHE moTher oF mY kiDs” she deserves the house. See what is happening here. Last guy this happened to his teenage sons couldn’t sleep due to the loud sex she was having in the room adjacent to theirs. In their family home! With different men to boot! Quit letting people that don’t care if you live or die run over you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 01:51 AM
4

This right here. No need to feel threatened. Your kids have your blood flowing through their veins, not another man. Take solace in that. Your genes, Lord willing, will be passed on. 😎. I’ve never seen a family tree drawn with other non biological people added in. 🤷‍♂️ Just hope for the best and be there for your kids, you will always be their Dad.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 05:18 PM
1

Messy messy stuff. Ex, stepdads, ex wives. If only we could see these things while celebrating what’s suppose to be a lifetime commitment. 🤕 You sound afraid. Imo you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re simply a father who’s looking out for his daughter’s best interests. You set ground rules for what was inappropriate behavior. I will say that you need to tread carefully. That phone call that was placed which resulted in the cops being called can take a different route all together if enough poison is…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 01:51 AM
16

Been there. I dreaded 5pm. Would sit in any parking lot for 30 mins or so to build up myself emotionally and mentality before going in that door. One time her mom “caught” me sitting in the parking lot. It never dawned on my ex to think “my gosh am I making our home so terrible that my husband would rather sit and wait in a parking lot before coming home” 🤷‍♂️.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 11:30 PM
5

Don’t fret. The party will come to an end. All parties do. I saw my ex literally dance at the destruction of her own family. What did it profit her? A higher body count? Money from the sale of a house? Good riddance I say. 😎
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 01:28 AM
1

Understood 100%. And in that difficultly comes the grace one should give to himself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 12:08 AM
2

You are absolutely wasting your life pining over someone that has wrecked the fidelity of your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 11:49 PM
11

That is true although we must be pragmatic here. That is also the mark of a man. Seeing things for what they are as opposed to to what they ought to be. Different men have different measures. Personally for me when the words match the actions I am left with no choice but to believe. You can change how someone feels about you as much as you can change the direction of a hurricane. It’s futile and you’re setting yourself up for a life of deception and slavery not mutual love and respect. Last edit…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 11:48 PM
14

Indeed which is why as a man you must have dignity. A man need only be told once by their partner that they want a divorce. Best you can do is give them an expedited divorce and move on with your life, preferably finding someone that does in fact love you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 11:43 PM
4

So sick of men doing this nonsense. KIDS NEEDS THEIR FATHERS, not stepdads, not boyfriends, not flings, not “male friends”, not acquaintances. Geeesh. You are no less of a parent. Take a look at the prisons, most of the inmates there grew up without a father in their lives. Why are you leaving your child behind again? I can assure you, you are putting your child in a worse off position. I have yet to meet another man that would wade through another man’s toddler’s dirty diapers, clean up their v…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 11:35 PM
2

Been there 10x worse. She’s a woman. Courts for some odd reason favor them. Shoot me a pm if you’d like to talk.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 06:56 PM
16

She did this and you guys have no kids? Man I swear some guys here are just lucky 😔 80 % of Women file for divorce and leave 80% of Men only mourn the loss of seeing their kids everyday and being in their lives the way they want to after a marriage ends. Most here aren’t in mourning of their ex spouse who cared nothing for their vows. Most are saddened by the loss of their family. For her to have done this and you guys don’t have kids is truly a blessing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 10:09 PM
2

You can still care on a human level, also it doesn’t have to be to the extent that your son explicitly “requires”. Although my ex tried to put me in jail on false accusations on a human level I wouldn’t refuse her the basic necessities etc and would help her to retain and keep basic human dignity. Beyond that there’s very little I can do. Again, explain to your son that you’re sorry about the condition of his mom as it would teach him empathy and compassion but you cannot move near her as he wan…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:30 AM
6

When our son made it vocal he wanted to stay with me therein came the claims of abuse, cps visits, doctors visits claiming abuse, moving them out of their school further away from me, the whole gamut. I’ll dm later with tips as if I can save another parent from the hell I went through then I’ll serve some greater good on this earth.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 08:23 PM
12

You’re in for a bumpy ride. If that was the first sign of manipulation you can expect to find yourself out of the picture in short order with abuse claims. Prepare yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 07:30 PM
5

It’s just to gather a reaction from you. Just give a thumbs up and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 05:01 PM
4

You need to have your mother testify more. The only way to have credence in family court is to have a woman testify on your behalf.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 02:09 PM
15

Your point of not seeing your kids or having your time reduced with them is the main reason why most men don’t file. We’d rather crawl over glass then to lose out on time with our kids. Money is usually the 4th priority on our list. I spent over $110,000 in attorney fees just to be able to parent my two kids. I had the papers drawn up and kept with me for a while but seeing my toddlers everyday kept hope alive that their mother would change. Of course that never happened.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 03:19 AM
-6

This is not the way. Not to be a debbie downer but this all wreaks of copium. Having baseless sex with women WILL get old. Way more to life than having sex with women, no matter how fit and hot they are. Tons of stds out there that will take you down and ruin your entire life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 02:39 PM
3

I mean, she literally came in here and portrayed the guy as a monster and a good for nothing slob. Good gosh, is love that fickle in their hearts and brains? A weak willed, gutless, spineless, appeasing and feckless man would take her words at face value and try to fight her soon to be ex husband under the guise that he’s trying to save her. Who need enemies with people like this In one’s life.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:55 PM
3

Bullshit you say? Why even say them to begin with? Deceivers are absolutely the worst. Saying one thing and then doing another when the wind shifts or the tide goes out. The f’ing worst. Can’t be trusted worth a shit. Nobody is saying anything about fairytales and pink puffy clouds. It is becoming text book to read of folks that hold zero weight to vows being hitched to others that do. I don’t get it. Why not marry someone who is just as fickle about the concept of marriage itself?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:23 PM
17

To the mod. Can she not post in a women oriented forum where she’ll have more support? Clearly vows mean nothing to her. She is better suited elsewhere. Her first point involves the future version of herself dating. Do this man a favor and allow him to find someone that loves him. This is not harsh advice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 03:23 AM
8

Few can resist the call from the streets. 99% within a month she’ll have a new guy doing all of the sex acts she dare not do for her ex husband. Nothing new here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 04:34 PM
2

Why would she do this to her daughter? We typically don’t go around our kids if we have a cold, why then is she giving her daughter kisses on the mouth with oral herpes?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 01:40 AM
9

Good gosh. You’ll get the blame somehow. Don’t worry. “You! You made me go out here in these streets and contract a lifelong ailment!” How dare you!”
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 01:38 AM
10

It was just your turn mate. You had your bed-time fun now it’s time for another man to have his bed-time fun.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:00 PM
8

Focus on protecting the relationship with your kid. Anyone that seeks to harm that relationship is not your friend but instead is an extreme enemy. If she’s the one leaving and wants full custody, let it sink In for a second that she has every intention of taking your son around another man and having him spend more than 80% of his time around said strange man. Where does that leave you in terms of being a father? During my divorce I was not sad that she was leaving as I stayed in a terrible mar…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 08:50 AM
1

Trolls coming in and asking how to build and maintain a bridge. “Yeah I stole from you, but you still owe me money!” “You can’t believe everything you SEE!” “It was just one time!” “You never checked for me!” List goes on and on…..
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 06:42 PM
5

Listening to this guy will turn you literally into a slave. A slave to her feelings and emotions. My God, look at the veiled threats: “prepare to be blindsided etc…” Wtf is “mommy mode” tf is that? I’ve never heard of a “daddy mode” I’m disgusted.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:48 PM
5

One of mines was: “Can you speak on the plaintiffs personality type?” My reply: “It has been two years since separation I have very little memory of the plaintiff or their personality type” It was the truth, I haven’t spoken a complete sentence to this person in what’s going on three years soon. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:20 AM
1

Why didn't she let him know on the day of their vows that she may at some point change her mind? That way he wouldn't have had to spend 10 years married to someone capable of "changing" and/or throwing away their vows. Marriages would be so much more wholesome if this information was available. It's no different than a man laying down with a woman who would so gladly take his child from him, move to a different state and attempt to have a another man be a replacement father. Think he would lay w…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 05:40 PM
2

Sex with new partners will often flick said switch. For some it’s better to be angry than guilty. One keeps you up at night and other fuels you in some odd way.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 02:17 PM
1

Boggles my mind as to why a parent has to fight for their kids or to be in their lives. If judges had any decency they’d automatically* give custody to the parent that treated the kids as humans and not property. I’ve read once that a custody battle is often one parent trying to stay in their kids lives and the other trying to keep them out of it. If these judges are so learned and wise how is it that us lay people can see as clear as day how this affects kids, not just now but in 20,30 years. L…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:02 PM
9

LOL. LOL. LOL. Mines tried to send me to prison on false charges. Never as so much raised my voice at that person. Sacrificed an early retirement going into a relationship based on what I thought was love and to build a family. Where’s the reflection in that? Notice the use of word “little”. Sounds like the musings of a ran through woman. It’s the weekend, don’t you have a roster to be a part of? Or rotation, or w.e it’s called nowadays.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 07:16 AM
2

If he goes that route. Make sure it’s the Grandmother that files suit as the courts usually reach a fair outcome when women are both plaintiff and defendant. /s
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 01:00 PM
5

This is sad to read. In all honesty, you think you’ll see a similar thread in a mother centric Reddit? They are your kids as well, they share half of your dna. What makes you less a parent where you have to literally tremble in your boots and fear for your life for your kids to spend time with your family. What you do with the kids during your time is honestly none of her concern unless your kids are in some form of immediate danger. You are no longer with this person, release those chains. Yes …
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:58 AM
2

LOL, you forgot the direction of the wind.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 01:15 AM
2

lol at “kids in on the planning process”. It’s incredible that the randos people screw around with before they get married. (I.e one night stands, sex binges etc) gets more respect than the people that that they make their vows to before God. This human has the persons kids planning the destruction of their own family.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 02:44 PM
5

Bs nonsense that “kids are resilient”. This is truly a life altering path for them. Could be good or bad, none of us really know. I’d rather people do stupidness in the absence of kids. Insane that we’re literally birthing kids into broken homes to be raised by other people who aren’t truly vested in their well being or bests interests. Insanity. Crazy to think that folks believe that an affair partner or boyfriend/girlfriend is going to wake up at 1am to fix food for YOUR kid if they’re hungry?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 01:08 AM
2

Worse is when they attempt to create those generational bonds with another man who doesn’t share your kids dna by trying to either push you out of the picture or fight you for joint custody. Nasty stuff. 🤢
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 08:55 PM
4

https://youtu.be/vvd6rHdJD40?si=uCZ725lTLP7PAGWZ
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:23 PM
7

Send it to her parents asking them to reach her since you can’t. Let them deal with the depravity.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 04:56 PM
18

Dude is about to have his entire life ruined by false allegations and he’s here posting on Reddit. Updateme! When the following happens (in this order) 1) Wife creates a scenario where he’s seen as abusive 2) Wife hops in her car, goes to the nearest police station with kids, starts to cry, phones In a judge off hours (has the greatest effect as they see it as an emergency). Gets a false restraining order against you citing that “she’s in fear for her life”. 3) you get removed from the home for …
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 10:13 AM
1

Sorry for what you went through at such a young age. You can argue that sttastistically speaking your kids are largely bound to the same fate if you’re not allowed to be an active father. Most violence against kids occurs at the hands of the mother or their boyfriends/husbands. Boyfriends most of all as the woman tends to completely forget all about the kids as they are enamored with their new sexual partner. I’ve seen women allow their kids to starve to please a new guy. Society encourages some…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 01:21 AM
1

The relationship with her is over. He is merely a fellow co-parent. Not wanting to see or speak to someone does not mean that you hate them or have a non-amicable parenting arrangement.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 02:25 AM
1

Welp I suppose we see things very differently. Guess what I remember the most as a kid? The boyfriend in a blind rage stomping me into the ground at the age of 12, yes I still have the mark from that. Your slant is obvious. Because you were adopted does not mean another child doesn’t need their father. And to boot, my father wasn’t around as a kid. It’s similar to me proclaiming that “hey, I turned out ok, kids don’t need a father around”. This feel good nonsense of replacement parents may be tr…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 06:35 AM
1

You sound similar to a judge I once heard say “once the mother is happy, the kids will be happy”.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 03:28 AM
1

Are you sure though? Because all I gathered was “mother of my kids” mantra. That mode of thought is pure hogwash and is the reason why soooooo many in society have little to no relationships with their father. It’s mind blowing how much us as men devalue ourselves. Fathers matter in their kids lives, not boyfriends, partners, stepparents but actual fathers. Fathers are the only ones who will care for their kids in the absence of obtaining sex from their mother. I’ve yet to meet a stepdad take ca…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 03:16 AM
1

May the Lord bless your sanguine heart. What then of the enemies that tried to metaphorically kill us? Do we not deserve to be whole or should we sacrifice our very lives to those that want to do us harm? What then of our future and current families? I have never heard not one woman say that is the “father of my kids” let me not try to destroy him. Not one.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 02:28 AM
5

Lucky guy, tons here wish ours would have ghosted us on that day. Would have spared so much misery and suffering.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 11:10 AM
1

Won’t even bother responding.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:39 PM
8

Absolutely the truth. Each action or inaction should propel him or any man rather, to reaching the stage of indifference. Each man has his own point where the “ah ha” moment comes. For me it was the false accusation of child abuse. I wept like a child when the hearing ended after I heard her in court lie that I abused our kids. I hadn’t cried that way in over a decade. That was the ah ha moment for me. Whatever feelings that were left went out of the window. In fact I felt disgusted with myself …
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 05:49 AM
4

It was just your turn mate. See her for who she is and find someone that truly loves you. You need to replace those feelings of sadness with disgust and repulsion. You’ve had your fun with her, it is now another man’s turn.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 05:03 AM
13

You too? lol I went from being “garbage and a failure” to all of a sudden making over 300k per year and having multiple properties in exotic Caribbean countries. Funny enough, looked at her phone once and she’s sending kissing emojis to her male “friends” asking her to borrow $100 LOL Saddened by the loss of family for the kids but her leaving was a blessing in disguise. I was fully locked in for being with my kids everyday despite the dead bedroom, disrespect etc. I feel so disappointed in myse…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 11:40 PM
18

Just a matter of time before she claims she’s a victim and that you’ve either: a)beat her b)kept her trapped inside the home as a slave housekeeper c)tried to push her down the stairs d)abused the kids (this one can get pretty dark, it’s the sickest of them all imo). e)financially abused her so she couldn’t escape from you, the monster. Those are the typical allegations. 80% odds you get hit with one or all. You better develop a photographic memory or keep a voice activated recorder on you. All …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 01:10 AM
10

Good for you man but it’s a whole different solar system for us that had kids with the wrong person. When you see your own flesh and blood being used as pawns it invokes a different sort of pain.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 04:12 PM
1

Sorry bud, but there's a good chance you won't get a TRO against her. You're assuming that the system views you on the same plane as her. I.e. that you have the ability to be in fear of your life. On the other hand, all she needs to do is walk in that door, shed one tear, put a little discomfort in her voice and you are outta there! One thing I've learned throughout my ordeal is that in the eyes of the law I can never be viewed as "I am in fear of my life", at most I can only be "uncomfortable".…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 06:44 PM
3

Yup. It was as if in his mind female = good parent | male = subpar parent. I understood in that moment why most men give up and why most kids loose out out on a loving and fruitful relationship with their biological father. Not some drop in battery stepdad.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 04:06 AM
4

Indeed. Cost me 100k here and a 1year and a half of mental anguish. Judge went so far as to say to my lawyer "I don't know why your client is fixated on 50/50, most other judges do 50/50 but not me, if he wants 50/50 he's going to have to go to trial". My heart dropped. Why do other men make it difficult for fathers to be fathers? How could I possibly go from seeing my kids everyday to 4 days out of the month? That is insane.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 03:22 AM
5

Incredible. Sorry to hear that man. It’s as if people have kids nowadays to have them raised by other people. Other said people will not care about the kids as much as their biological parents, I don’t care how many feel good stories or Russel Wilson stories you show to me, facts are facts. This issue is probably going to be compounded 10 fold when your ex and her ap decide to have kids. Your kids are going to be stuck in the middle.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 09:33 PM
4

Not good at all. I rarely say this, but in this case these are your kids. Do what must be done to care for them. Doesn’t sit well with me to read only have the “other” for four days a month.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 02:26 AM
6

It’s like getting a 2nd degree burn instead of a 3rd degree burn. You can only live with it now at this point I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 09:49 PM
7

Do not drop your guard. File your current agreement or parenting schedule with the court asap. All it takes is for her to go court crying and put on a show of victimhood and you will more than likely lose custody.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 01:45 AM
3

Men cannot be emotionally abused or rattled. Heck we can’t even feel unsafe. (society’s mindset). The best you can be is “uncomfortable”. Try calling the cops and say that you feel unsafe with respect to your wife. Watch what happens…..
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:54 PM
1

Shame that you go from “I do” to mere co-parents.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 07:31 PM
2

Agreed. I don’t think I’d be able to speak for a few months. Betrayal on every front. I pray that post goes viral as it highlights society’s disdain for men. All of those comments need to be downloaded and sent to every family court around the world so judges can see first hand what men do often endure in the context of children.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 01:49 PM
5

Even in the above, 90% of the comments are painting the husband as the villain. There are just a handful of commentators that bother to look at it from the husband’s/mans point of view or even consider his feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:22 AM
4

There you go. Pretty soon his mere existence will be an issue. When she is ready to begin having sex with new men, her narrative will be complete. “He was soo selfish, I had to leave that toxic relationship”. Bear in mind, the new string of men will not have to do anything for her and she will not mind one bit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 02:16 PM
2

I’m sorry man. I went through the same thing. “I’m in fear of my life” is what she said in court. I couldn’t believe my ears. I never once even raised my voice or said a profanity to her. She began acting this way after she filed for divorce in an attempt at full custody. She even checked herself into a shelter to add some level of credence to her lie. She and her attorney drafted a letter suggesting that they would drop the charges if I agreed to let her have the house and all the proceeds and …
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 11:40 AM
1

I dealt with this. I felt the same way. I.e internal guilt. Don’t do it to yourself. Did you put yourself or your kids in this situation? It is beyond your control. It doesn’t require two to get divorced and destroy a nuclear family, just one. I reached a point that unless it is an emergent situation regarding our kids I would rather not speak to her or hear from her at all. I don’t see a reason to have conversations about anything else. If the kids are well taken care of in either home then tha…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 11:26 AM
1

Huh? How’d you end up labelled as an abuser if you did no such thing?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 03:50 AM
3

This post feels odd and weird.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 01:13 PM
12

Can’t believe this is even a question. You need to help her cyberstalk. Get her a faster internet connection and an extra monitor. More time she spends looking at or for this guy = more time you can be using to rebuild your life and get away from a woman that does not love you. Some men have it so good in terms of leaving a marriage to an outwardly disloyal spouse. “Hey, brb, gonna run and grab some groceries real quick”. She’ll never see my face again
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 01:31 AM
9

And they say we aren’t the caring or nurturing ones when it comes to our kids. 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 12:05 AM
12

Watch her actions. The new guy she had in mind (or in the physical) did not pan out. Or she may realizing that the optics may not be good. The contempt she showed to you at the onset is how she really felt. The way we treat others at our mercy is how we really feel about them. You were at her mercy by begging for the relationship. Would you want to be with someone who viewed your relationship as optional when you two made vows to each other, someone who didn’t mind splitting up your family and s…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 06:34 PM
3

Geez, sounds terrible. Insane that we reduce time with our kids to a rigid schedule. Insane what divorce does. As if the kids are property to be divided.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 01:18 AM
3

Was married in 2019. Met her in 2017
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 09:51 AM
1

I had no choice but to file a counter petition, lest a default judgment would have been entered. I even waited until the very last minute hoping she would want to keep her family together. Her initial filing was requesting sole legal and physical custody.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 01:10 AM
2

It wasn’t dismissed, it was finalized. The judge asked her, the petitioner, if she would like to dismiss the case as he was growing weary with the case.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:54 AM
14

So getting married, starting a family etc. is akin to getting a job… and either living in fear that your spouse will always be looking out for the “next best thing?” Vows be damned. Nobody’s locking anyone in. For many here the door is wide open for the spouse to leave. What cripples a lot here is the loss of FAMILY, not her. The loss of seeing our KIDS daily and knowing full well how TERRIBLE and how much of an UPHILL battle kids face growing up in a single mother environment. Even with filler …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 02:40 PM
6

Must feel disgusting knowing that the reason (or one of the main ones) she was dismissing your attempts at fixing your marriage is because she was secretly getting her legs spread open by another man. Truly disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:43 PM
10

So after having her fun with the other guy (you better believe he had fun with her as well). She now wants to return to a safe place? She didn’t just betray you, she betrayed her family. And brining your kids around this guy? AVOID women that would do this to your kids. I imagine she had a grand idea of replacing you and making the new guy some sort of filler dad/step dad.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 02:41 PM
1

I meant on your ex wife’s side. It boggles my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 03:35 AM
3

How low does your mind have to go to continue to press someone that you’re no longer involved with for money. Absolutely no shame.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 01:04 AM
4

I’m still puzzled by it. The father had aired an issue about something foul the mom was doing and that was HIS response.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 03:38 AM
9

Indeed, I was going to post the exact same thing. 90% of the grievances here are surrounding their kids. (Maybe more). It’s a shame. And society still views men as the uncaring and apathetic parent. It boggles my mind. Not once did my ex mention the wellbeing of our kids in our 14 hearings. It was largely around money for her. When I was pleading and begged to the court to take into account the wellbeing of our kids emotional state, her lawyer tried to say I was being emotional. I shifted gears …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 03:35 AM
3

You must think of the long game. Ignore the noise and focus on what’s best for your kids. I’m not suggesting that you be a fanatic for 50/50 as those are just two numbers. What matters is meaningful time with your kids. Time where you can be an actual parent and instill values into them. I challenge someone to show me how that is feasible at 4 days a month. If you didn’t help to make your kids to only see them 4 days out of the month then you know what needs to be done. Yes, you need to be ready…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:49 AM
2

Joint physical 50:50 custody. At that point I had spent 100k in legal fees defending myself. I was willing to go to trial. And if we did I was going for primary custody until she got the help she needed and would see our kids as actual humans and not pawns or possessions. Kids need both parents in their lives. Anything less is unacceptable.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:43 AM
13

The human I was in with, as I found out would even put our kids on scales before they’d come over the spend time with me. She’d weigh them before they arrived and after they left. She submitted this to the court as “evidence” that I was starving our kids. Our daughter weighed 31.3lbs in one photo and 31.0 lbs in the other photo, according to her I was starving them. When I saw those photos, I cried as a man. That hurt me like no other. Why would you treat your kids that way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:40 AM
8

First you start by staying as far away as possible from this person. If you FEEL she’d stoop so low as to accuse you of harming your own flesh and blood you must realize she is gone, depraved - proximity will be your biggest vector from her. A trail of video evidence is what helped me when the false allegations card was played. I saw it from a mile away, although I will say, I was unprepared how easily the courts ate it up at the onset. That was truly disappointing to me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:34 AM
5

May the Sun be at your back. You have an uphill battle for sure. Will Never forget when I heard a judge say “as long as the mother is happy, the kids will be happy”.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:29 AM
12

I say this to add the list of buzzwords often said: “to find myself” “to find who I am” “ to go on a journey of growth” “ to go to where the universe leads me” “ to find my happiness” ….. me, me, me, I,I,I
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:27 AM
3

At the height of the “custody battle” (I’ve never understood this term, I simply wanted to see our kids for half of the time, it wasn’t a battle in my mind but rather me being fair to the them to help in their upbringing - I know what it felt like to not have my BIOLOGICAL father around. It was crushing as a kid. No amount of stepdads or the revolving door of boyfriends can fill those shoes. … she’d take the kids to the doctor almost after every visit. Had cps visit me three times, had the polic…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:55 AM
3

I don’t respond to the nonsense anymore. If I feel it’s being said to be used against me to strip custody away from me. I send an email to myself with what I would have said to her. That way I have an archive if I were to end up in court again for the 14th time (literally).
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 12:49 AM
3

Yo should have stopped her mid-sentence and walk away. I have zero tolerance for nonsense. It's literally gobbledygook. What you should do, is tell her that you too are embarking on your healing journey and that said journey is a solo yet dual one which involves only yourself and your kids, that your path will take you to an elevated peak where you can embrace all of the nuances of the journeys and the healing paths and also that you plan on embracing the healing elderberries for all of their nu…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 03:32 AM
10

Your duty is not to her but your kids. Wish her well and take care of them. If that is the sort of life she wants to live then wish her well. I would just wish the best for her for the kids sake, nothing more, nothing less. Ignore her nonsense of getting plowed down by other men (a good chance it’s one of the main reasons she left btw) or other foolishness about new experiences. Did she mention anything about a “healing journey”? Let her go. Take in your kids and try to give them the best sort o…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 10:18 AM
1

Really large and in part…. Accepted very early on her desire to no longer want to be married to me. Her: “I want a divorce” Me: “Ok, cool. Let’s see if we can get this over as quick and fair as possible, especially as it relates to the kids”. Her: “🤯“ You didn’t fight for the marriage. Me: “I will not fight to be with someone that does not want to be with me and who would choose to mock, degrade and dehumanize me on a constant basis in front of our kids, I wish you all the best.” Her: Queue fals…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 11:18 AM
3

See, ties back into my earlier points. Trying to appease her or win points with her is futile. Please quit with this “mother of my kids” nonsense. They are humans just like you with their own wants and needs. Stop trying to force relationships where there is none. Move on and find someone that actually cares for and loves you. Matthew 7:6 Edit: Why are you apologizing to your kids? You did nothing wrong here sans anticipate your ex not appreciating something you and your kids labored in under th…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 10:05 PM
1

The only way you’ll get her to back off is to pretend you’re either destitute or in shambles over the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 04:04 PM
9

Male privilege? Where is this male privilege you speak of? Last time I checked, men are getting restraining orders placed against them by even disagreeing with their ex. I avoid speaking to mines under the fear that if I simply disagree with her or make her upset I’d go to jail.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 12:37 PM
5

Mines intentionally held both of my kids from me on Father’s Day and for another 30 days subsequent. All intentional. Think the courts cared? Men in present day society are literally slaves to women and don’t even know it. It’s as if the world has been turned upside down.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 12:03 PM
6

You’re missing the point. If the kids ask for it, by all means! But for ulterior motives of trying to appease or get her back then absolutely not.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 11:54 AM
18

If the kids bring it up, then to make them happy I see no harm. But to white knight things in the hopes of this will show her how good I am is pure manipulation. There is no valor, honor or dignity in trying to manipulate someone into liking you. This mode of thought is part of the reason why custody (in the absence of presumed 50/50) is often given or deferred to the mother. “She’s the mother of my kids”. I will give her all that she requests as not to make her upset. …are you not the father of…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 04:13 AM
3

This above. Why entertain this? No need to be bitter but at the same time don’t be guilted into hanging out with people that mean you no well. Mines tried to literally put me in jail with false allegations. Think I’ll ever have her hanging out within 500ft of me? Don’t hate her, it isn’t good for your soul. Just avoid having her around you or vice versa.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 03:12 AM
2

If you are a man, you’re probably wasting your time. A judge will look at you in disgust if you even bring up her bonus.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 06:29 PM
11

Proximity is one of the liar’s greatest weapon against you. Do not, I repeat do not be in the same room with her if you feel as if she can stoop so low as to hurt both you and your kids by lying and saying that she’s been or is being abused. When she comes close to you, walk away. Draw a 100ft radius around her and do your best to stay out of it. Do not be near her around any stairs especially. That is the go to allegation when it comes to filing a false dv charge to both ruin you in your divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 04:23 AM
2

Nobody is saying that it is. It however seems to be a common theme among men who think they are doing the right thing by trying to appease or soothe their ex wife. Too many horror stories, esp when the men have been treated worse than dogs and discarded like pieces of excrement. Guy here had your same mindset, “I want to make sure the mother of my kids is comfortable and taken care of”. Gave her the house while he moved into a terrible apartment. A few weeks later his sons came to him and told h…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 04:56 PM
1

Here we go again. “Mother of your kids”. Sighs
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 03:46 PM
7

Setting himself on fire is what I see here. Not to sound jaded but there is a great chance her sentiment changes for the worse once a new man enters both her and your kids life. You will not appease this person who no longer wants to be with you. Giving her everything will solve nothing. We aren’t telling you to be vengeful etc but you must drop that feeling of guilt. At least one person must look out for the welfare of your kids. Your kids lives are being turned upside down, are you not the lea…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 02:17 PM
6

Wow, it’s a win win for her. Earning more each month than some actual in fact families while having relationships with other men that you’ll be paying for in an underhanded way. Why do men fall on their own swords for people that have proven themselves disloyal In the face of broken vows and now exposing their kids to having to be around other strange men. I’m not suggesting that you be a terrible person while separating but look at the above. Guy is electively falling on his sword under the pre…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 10:19 AM
2

Godspeed man. Why even have kids if the goal or aim is to have other people raise them? This is sick behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 08:16 PM
2

It blows my mind. It’s so damaging to kids. I have horror stories from close friends. A close friend’s daughter would say to him that “he’s her favorite daddy.” She’s 9 and has been introduced to at least 10 men so far.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 08:12 PM
1

I spoke in jest.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 08:09 PM
9

How dare you try to be an involved father and be a part of your kids upbringing! You monster you! It is better to have a new lover around your very own kid to replace you, this is a-ok however. You get 4 days a month. Boyfriend gets 26 days a month.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 08:05 PM
11

Well, when you take into account kids. It has a different ring to it. I don’t think any of us here had kids to be exchanging them in parking lots once a week etc. That is madness…but I suppose it’s the best we can do. I do not grieve over not having an ungrateful person in my life. I grieve over seeing our kids have to go through this. If only I would have known, I would have left her at the alter and not think twice of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 03:00 PM
3

Approaching 2 years in. Was supposed to have final hearing last week Thursday but she backed out and we have a conference with the judge on the 10th of May. Did mediation and had an oral agreement. She reneged on it. She wants to stick me with her debt that she hid from me and racked up just months prior to filing for divorce. Interesting how someone who vowed to be a part of you can betray you in the worst ways and act like it’s no big deal. My goal has always been joint 50/50 custody and being…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 02:59 AM
6

Fight it. If you don’t, in the eyes of society you will absolutely look like a monster. Stand for the truth. At the very least do it for your son. If that is entered permanently against you, it WILL affect custody going forward and WILL be used against you. Read your last line again. You are “allowed” to see your son? Does that make any sense to you?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 09:08 AM
13

Your line about wishing she’d fight for the marriage is pretty toxic. One does not serve the other divorce papers and then swish they’d fight for the marriage. Divorce is the complete destruction of the family unit. Its not a tool of manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 09:43 PM
5

Sounds like a disaster in the making. Next step are false domestic violence charges to take everything away from you, including your sanity. What you need is a var or body cam. The $40 you spend on Amazon for one could save your life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 09:41 PM
1

How do you mean? “50/50 financial”?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 11:57 AM
8

Oh boy, sorry man. Your mind appears scrambled. You need distance from this person. Focus ONLY ONLY ONLY ONLY ONLY ONLY on your kid(s). She’s no longer your wife. Buy a pair of AirPods to tune her out. Those things were the best investment I had during my divorce hands down. I trained myself not to look at her, to not hear her as well was a blessing. Instant peace of mind. To not have to hear emasculating and dehumanizing comments was golden. I had a running list of insults I heard from her, lit…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:00 AM
15

Once you realize and truly take account of how bad you were treated, the aha moment comes. No human deserves to be mocked, degraded and everything else under the sun. Sometimes we have to accept that we simply choose poorly. Society often views men as expendable and without value….sadly, we do this to ourselves.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:51 AM
2

As most mentioned. It is in their formative years where it crucial for that bonding to take place. One of the reasons why I think it is insidious to take infants and toddlers away from their parents. That lack of interaction and bonding sometimes can never be repaired or will take a lifetime. Just be calm, cool and find things to do with him. I.e fishing, fixing something, building something etc. my son is four and he loves science experiments and riding his electric buggy. When he’s with me tho…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 11:18 AM
2

I'm pushing for exchanges to occur at their daycare that way there is zero interaction for extended periods of time. I keep my distance, I don't say anything, I'm cheerful with the kids in front of the kids but still deal with shenanigans. There is no animus but I'm sorry I can't find the words to say to a person that tried to put me in prison/jail. This is a person that secretly took pictures of me in the kitchen with our daughter on my shoulders while I was stirring a pot and submitted it to C…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 04:15 PM
3

I hear you 100%. It's easy to say turn up the dgaf meter but everyone takes standing in front a judge differently having to defend their innocence. Is it weird though, for someone that said they were in "fear of their life" to be coming around on their OWN ACCORD near me to the opposite side of my car. I don't have time for all of that cheery bs nonsense; it's an affront to men that have been accused time over of things they did not do.... you tried to destroy my life, gtfoh with that foolishnes…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 03:00 PM
3

It is a terrible situation indeed and it tears me up that I helped bring kids into the world to deal with this nonsense. the communication thing is something I struggled with: how do I communicate with someone that tried to send me to jail for false abuse claims (twice), sent child protective services x3 times to my home including the police even when the kids were with me and took our kids to the doctor citing "a certain type of abuse" all to get custody and/or hurt me? How, just how? I'm all f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 02:10 PM
8

Yup, par the course. The new sexual partner is a-ok to be around your kid and even drop them to school as you observed . But you as the biological parent, absolutely not! Go ahead and “ask” her to drop your daughter off to school…. Watch her response. It’s sickening really. Unsure why society turns a blind eye to this nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 04:23 AM
1

Abuse against men isn’t taken serious in family court. You will find very little to no relief there. Energy is better out in moving on in life and trying to distance yourself from said person.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 09:50 PM
3

Time with your kids is the priority as it’s the first thing the courts will be apt to take away from you as a father. All it takes is either a phone call or a 2 min trip to the police station. Protect yourself firstly against false allegations of abuse. The rest are just formalities as numbers don’t lie.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 07:53 AM
4

You’re making a common mistake firstly. You keep saying “my wife”. She’s no longer your wife mate. She’s actively trying to leave you. Let that sink in. She is now your ex partner.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 07:17 PM
10

You are plan B in her eyes. Act accordingly. Or C,D,E….. 🤷‍♂️ Also from a health perspective, you have no idea if she’s had stis or stds inserted into her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:44 AM
5

Geographical restriction is the most important one. Without it you will be at your exs mercy for many years. Might as well wear a leash around your neck at that point. Imagine you just purchased a home in your kids school district, two months later she moves them to the outer edge of whichever state you’re in. Boom, she rewrote the custody order. You are now an every other weekend father.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:40 AM
3

To each their own. But not for me. Although my ex decided that our kids did not warrant being raised under the same roof. I’d like to think there are other women out there who feel the same way I do. ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT I AM 100000000% clued into the nature of a woman now. I will document my involvement in my future kids lives from the day they are born 😅 In all seriousness, you cannot let one bad marriage or relationship spoil things for you. I would still love to have kids of mines that I …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:39 AM
7

Also, to add. In the legal sense she is still your “wife”. In the actual sense she is not. I really don’t understand why most here don’t get it. “My wife of 10 years is out getting pregnant by another man” “My wife if 10 years filed false abuse charges and took the kids” Pause for a second and think of your worst enemy (hopefully you don’t have any). Would they treat you this way? If you have kids: “the other parent” If you don’t: “my previous partner” It’s not harboring resentment but instead t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 10:29 AM
3

Even if they “win” the well is so poisoned that you’d never want to even look at it again It’s just terrible all around. Imagine this level of betrayal and being told that you just need to look past it and do what’s best for the kid as far as playing one big happy family? How would a graduation dinner go, a kids birthday party? Kids football/soccer/basketball games? These stories of betrayal are next level.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 10:24 AM
2

Oh wow. Why are men so often treated this way? (And often by other men).
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 09:36 AM
7

What I cannot look past is all of the trauma our kids were put through in the process. It was bad enough that a doctor looked over their records and immediately recognized what was going on when I mentioned we’re going through a divorce. Who takes their OWN kids to the doctor and has them examined for injuries that never occurred all to “win” custody and paint the other parent as either negligent or an abuser? It’s mentally disturbing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:30 AM
7

I’ve had to deal with this. She was aiming for sole custody. Once 50/50 was agreed on. It stopped. Funny how that works.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 01:05 AM
7

Focus on your daughter, it’s very simple.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:46 PM
1

Do you have 50/50 custody?
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:42 PM
2

I agree. Hopefully my post wasn’t too harsh. Just tired of seeing men be used as emotional rags and free handyman’s only to be thrown away like filthy dogs. Edit: changed dirty dogs to filthy dogs as that’s what most of society thinks of the entire situation. Just shut up and pay, you’re a man right?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:43 PM
9

Oh boy, face palm. You mention her cuddling with you and kissing your forehead etc while blowing up your family for another man? We’ve all been there before: Denial He’ll learn at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:33 PM
14

It is simply to assuage the guilt. And more than likely she is reaping what she’s sown. Even now she’s still blaming you. “I wish you all the best in life as well - take care” Or no response at all.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:28 PM
2

Why would you guys continue to torture yourself is beyond me. What I find overwhelming, and even here, is that men, even after they are told “you are no longer wanted” / “I want a divorce” will still do nonsense under the guise of “family events”. You no longer have a family, you have kids with this person. Your vows are now null and void. I’m not suggesting that you harbor some sort of hate and resentment but why not put that energy into finding someone that does want to be with you and actuall…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:39 AM
13

Oh wow. I’ve NEVER heard of a man doing these things. Once a woman becomes sexually attracted to another man. It’s all downhill from there. I hate to say this man but your kids are in for a wild ride. It’s a shame most judges entertain this nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:55 AM
4

Mistake indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 12:04 AM
1

That’s the mentality to have. As for myself, I have gone out to the movies a few times or a bite to eat. Not sure if that constitutes dating but it was good to at least have friend company. But no dating for me as well as my goal is to ensure that our kids land on their feet at the end of this. I caught myself praying the other night for her to be out of my life, literally. I made vows to God but how am I to process being tied to someone that accused me of child abuse and domestic violence.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:26 PM
10

To counter that you need to respond with scalding truth. Truth is the only way to handle this. I went through the same. She wouldn’t even pick our kids up curbside when my car battery died for drop off which is 2 mins away. She said “I can’t come near my abuser”. I didn’t even respond. She insisted that I call an Uber to drop our kids off. Again, the drop off location is less than 2 mins away. All of a sudden after wanting a divorce which she fought me on to the ground after I just said “ok” she…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:17 PM
3

Well, she would say to friends that she didn’t want to be divorced or end up like her mom who used to glorify divorce and would parade around saying divorce was the best thing to happen to her. (While living in our basement). The thing is, her words didn’t match her actions. I would have given us a second chance if she would have said, ok husband I was wrong for bringing up divorce and filing, and having you served in front of our 2 year old, I want this family to work and thrive. That would hav…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 06:15 AM
8

I’ll never understand why she fought me so hard and dragged it out when she was the one that wanted a divorce. It was as if I was guilty for saying “ok”. Maybe it was her ego? She wanted a divorce and money, I wanted to be in my kids life in a meaningful way, be their father. That was our impasse. I’m not sure who tricked her into thinking I would budge on it, esp when I grew up without a dad. That’s a feeling I couldn’t put on our kids. I was willing to go to trial and appeal if it came down to…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:11 AM
15

$102,000 Roughly 25k to defend against false domestic violence charges Another 75k or so defending against child abuse claims and me pushing back on her wanting sole custody. She took out loans and borrowed from her 401k to fight me on joint custody. Truly sad and terrible. Honestly tried to give her the smoothest divorce a woman could ask for but all I got was animosity.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 08:45 PM
1

The judge I had told me straight up that he does not believe in 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 12:30 PM
-1

I’ll never understand the mentality. It’s as if most courts are obsessed with keeping the woman happy at the expense of what is actually best for the kids. There is nothing appealing about single motherhood. I have nothing but love for my mother but I would have benefited tremendously having an active father in my life growing up. It’s one of the reasons I “fought” with everything I had in me to be an active father. Father = Prove to us by climbing Everest with 500lbs attached to your back that …
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 10:19 AM
1

I made the same mistake so I understand. I stayed, as 70% of most men do to preserve a family structure for our kids. I endured some truly terrible stuff. Although to have someone put your kids at a statistical disadvantage is telling. “BuT My HapPiNeSS”.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:37 AM
3

I must be the outlier 🤷‍♂️. If you want to leave I’ll be the first to open the door for you. Life is too short to contend with and deal with disloyal people.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 11:40 PM
5

Even if they do flip back who would want that person around them. Who could ever trust that person again? It’s like someone placing a loaded gun to your head and pulling the trigger but the gun jams but would come back and try to be friends.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 11:26 PM
2

Nothing admirable about it. I didn’t even let finish the divorce word finish out her mouth, I pat myself on the knees got up and said “welp - cool, why on earth did you waste two years of my life.” Do not ever ask any questions or grovel. In fact I’ve been trying to speed up the divorce. It’s been two years!!! I’m going to remind her today to sign the papers. Quit dragging your feet!….
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 09:54 PM
4

It’s amazing how people change when they switch sexual partners. “Kids are resilient” is a common line. If she saw no value in keeping your family together and does not appreciate opening up opportunities for having strange men around your kids then I suggest you do not waste another second on your ex. Do your best to remind your kids that they are loved and be a father that leads by example. Everything else is out of your control. Cut bait and move on asap.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 09:16 PM
1

you shouldn’t be bothered at all. Heck, encourage her to bring 2,3,4 men to the drop off. Just focus on the health and mental well-being of your kids. They are going to need it for the long road ahead. Especially if there’s animus between you both.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 05:49 PM
9

My biggest thing is protecting the kids mental state. One guy was posting not too long ago saying that his teenage boys complain to him that they can’t sleep because their mom is in the other room at night with her boyfriend. “Oh yes! F** me harder, Give it to me harder!!” The boys can’t sleep some nights. Imagine what is being done to their minds. I don’t care about ones sexual proclivities but ffs think about the kids. I have a friend who’s daughter said to him (he’s the biological). “You’re m…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 03:30 PM
11

Why do people have kids if they are so eager to find different sexual partners or people to rear another persons (man/woman’s) kids. It’s the strangest thing to me. Why bring kids into this odd dynamic? I was once beaten on the ground by a boyfriend of my mother when I was younger. I’ll never forget it. He didn’t beat me to show discipline, this man did it with contempt. I was maybe 12. This was when she wasn’t home. Thankfully she left the man. This will always be a serious topic for me. It’s s…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 02:56 PM
7

Good Lord. How, just how is it possible that someone would stoop so low. I mean, just leave or go, there’s no need for the false allegations, deceit etc. 99% of men don’t do these things when they leave a relationship. This is mentally unwell or just outright evil behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 09:20 AM
7

Think of all the lies and betrayal. Why pine over someone who doesn't want to be with you? Would you continue to show up to a job that laid you off? See things for what they are and not what they "ought to be". People break vows all the time. It's human nature. Use that pain, hurt etc to create a "better" (doesn't have to be monetary) life for both you and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 12:36 AM
3

Was falsely accused of domestic violence. Was accused of child abused and she attempted to form a narrative of God knows what else by suggesting sick things to their doctor that I won’t even post here. It’s not the false domestic violence charges that got to me. Adults lie on each other every day but to lie on a kid is a whole new world of mental sickness that I didn’t even know existed. It’s been 1.5 years since she alleged those things and I refuse to even utter a complete sentence to her or l…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 11:30 PM
7

Well you better figure it out fast, otherwise you’re in for a world of pain. What would help to heal is to mirror, I am all for leaning Into the pain as that is the best form of healing but at the onset you must sometimes fake it to make it to gain momentum if you will. Some partners will absolutely thrive off of your turmoil, for most it is a huge ego boost to say they filed first etc and that they are leaving. The only thing you need to say is “ok, cool let’s sort out the logistics asap”. In m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 10:26 PM
2

Which is why I refuse to take on the debt my soon to be ex person decided to run up right before filing. I cannot see where any of it went to. Ran up 30k in debt prior to filing. I absolutely refuse. It’s like a slap in the face especially so since she lied claiming domestic violence and child abuse in a bid to get full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:07 AM
1

Are you certain this is the case? Imagine a spouse transferring all of their pre marital debt to credit cards while married and prior to filing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 09:47 PM
8

You will miss out on so much of their lives. Moments you won’t get back back. Don’t let her tossing you away detract from the love you have for your kids. You have to build yourself up.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 08:39 PM
5

He’s not going to listen. A $100 voice activated recorder can save you over $15,000 legal fees and can protect your relationship with your kids. 8000% his “wife” files a false domestic violence charge against him.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:02 AM
16

Yup, you had a 5 second window to fix that. Now you look deceptive and shady.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:11 PM
8

Ah boy. Another victim. Expect this to be delayed at least three times and also expect to pay anywhere from 11-15k. You took the bait. You’re still referring to her in your post as “wife”. Would a wife try and send their husband to prison? You probably will not leave her though.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 08:30 AM
6

It’s sad all around. My sentiments exactly. When my kids were withheld from me for two months, in order to cope I had to force myself not to think about them. I thought I knew selfishness until I saw what most kids are put through In a divorce. At the end of the day it’s as if nobody cares? Every time I hear the term best interests of the kids I become disgusted. That term seems to mean whatever soothes the mother. I will never understand the court’s obsession with single motherhood. Do men love…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 01:48 PM
7

Ha, nobody even mentioned kids. Wait until his heartstrings, (if you haven’t felt love, wait until you hold your kids) gets ripped away from him and he has to suffer crawling through the 9 rings of hell to even see them when the new boyfriend gets to spend everyday with them. Worst of all is that a male judge will oversee this as being in their best interests.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 01:34 PM
7

This is the sad part of divorce. Kids caught in the middle like they are objects. Either side won’t “take them” out of spite. Why go the hospital and go in labor for 17 hours to push out a kid if you don’t plan on having a stable home environment for them. It is the most asinine thing I can think of. If I knew or even had a GLIMMER of how this life would have been for my kids I would have ran the first time we met. I had a funeral to attend. (My grandmother who was like a mother to me). I told m…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 01:28 PM
7

Ah, so your ex person too went and checked into a shelter? Mines did it twice, both In attempt to thwart joint custody. It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen and it’s such a slap in the face to actually victims that suffer and go through abuse everyday of their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 04:30 AM
12

Tale as old as time. Lean into the pain, learn from it and become ver 2.0 for your kids. I absolutely hate it when kids lives are upended or subjected to unnecessary trauma. Reminds me of a guy in another sub who sons tell him that most nights they have to hear their mom screaming from the room “f me harder, give it to me baby!” Poor kids cant even sleep. Jesus wept, I feel like I’m in a alternate reality.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:43 AM
13

What is there to talk about? Take yourself out of the equation. She has decided that she’d prefer another man to be around your kids 50% of the time vis a vis yourself. Let that sink In for a second. Is this who you want around you as your wife?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:07 AM
1

It depends on how she viewed her vows and her idea of family. Some folks don’t believe in blended families. You have to respect that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 11:16 PM
2

Craziest thing I’ve read for the month.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:08 PM
3

Incredible how you go from being a family to a logistics engineer. It’s a shame really. Really hurts to see in tact families not have to deal with the above nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 06:32 AM
7

This is what everyone says. But how do you cope with said person after you were accused of domestic violence and child abuse all in their effort to get sole custody?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 07:48 PM
2

I’d rather get arrested for recording evidence which proves my innocence as opposed to being falsely arrested. In the former you have recourse in the latter you run the risk of your life being completely ruined.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 02:26 PM
17

This wreaks of victory lap gloating.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:45 PM
13

Absolutely not. You’re asking ways you can help him. I’d say to leave him alone and focus on your new guy. Let him find another woman to successfully fill your void. It’s really simple.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:32 PM
24

For better or worse = Until I feel you’re not doing enough around the house. Never mind he could have been going through a rut or tough period in his life. 🤷‍♂️ Can you imagine the thought process in my male friend circle if I said I wanted to dismantle my family to find my happiness. They’d be disgusted and would more than likely try to fight me. If he were in a better place I’d say he needs to excise her out of his life and focus on himself getting better emotionally. At least there is some re…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:21 PM
1

Imagine if a father did what was done…. He’d hear them building the gallows outside DURING his trial.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 11:47 PM
5

AirPods we’re my best friends during my ordeal. I always made sure they were charge before I walked in that door. When I had to tend to our kids they would come out. As soon as my parenting duties were over (kids asleep) they’d go right back in. She tried putting my AirPods in water. They still worked and I wasn’t phased one bit. I realized seeing someone that’s trying to ruin your life with false accusations doesn’t make you upset, it’s often seeing them and hearing them speak is what does it. …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 12:36 PM
2

Did you ever ask him how he feels about it? I
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:33 AM
4

If something is gnawing away at your arm, do you not see the situation for what it is or do you wait until it is hanging by its last tendon before you see the reality of things? She didn’t change, this is who she really is. Principles and values don’t change, unless either something life threatening or catastrophic happens. She is not this “new person”. A person who detests stealing from the poor would have ulcers stealing from the Red Cross, no amount of mental gymnastics would assuage their gu…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:31 AM
8

She left her family is the more accurate description here. Let her go man, she’s not worth your thoughts. Thoughts about what happens at the edge of outer space holds more value than figuring out her motives.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:04 AM
8

Absolutely. Mines would walk around the house saying “divorce was the best thing that ever happened to her”. Was living with us at the time. Ex wife literally worships the air she breathes. Figured no way she’d allow her mother to dupe her out of her own family, that defies logic. Boy was I wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 06:14 PM
5

Get.her.out.of.your.life.asap! Put the divorce on plaid speed!!!!! Remind her weekly if there’s papers she needs to submit etc or procedures that need to be followed. You need to show and express disappointment that the divorce is taking too long. Long sighs and visible looks of disappoint on your face. Again, put the divorce on speed x100. Look to bifurcate it if you don’t have kids etc. that way you can at least detach your life from her and worry about splitting finances later. The sting will…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:44 PM
3

Not magic at all. Just be sure to stay in your kids life to counterbalance the new guys she’s going to have around them. It’s a terrible thing as a father knowing you’re not there to protect them constantly as you once were.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:10 PM
6

Heh, when you get to 3 cps visits then you’re cooking with fire Expert level when you get a visit from the cops while cps is visiting. Ask me how I know….
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 06:52 AM
5

It feels like a Pyrrhic victory as no parent should fight to be in their kids lives and the damage the allegations did will last a lifetime. Jesus Christ, to lie and accuse the other parent of child abuse is sick to the core.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 04:09 AM
1

How old are your boys?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 03:48 AM
4

I was once like you, I would try to find refuge sleeping in our shed hoping she’d change. Stuck it out for the sake of the kids. Some people don’t change man. Was she thinking about you guys’ family while intimate with husband #2 and more than likely doing things that would never be done with you?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:35 PM
3

Divorcing you was a very intentional and purposeful thing to do. More than likely it was well planned out. Unless you enjoy sleeping with one eye open or wonder who she’s talking to when ever you hear her laugh in the other room….. as the Disney movie says….”be my guest” God help you if she’s out and her battery dies at night. Can you trust that she’s not out planning to leave/divorce you for the nth time?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:32 PM
12

So she broke her vows twice. Interesting. 3rd times the charm?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:03 PM
0

That is a defeatist mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 02:25 AM
2

Don’t beat yourself up about it. Would you get mad at a scorpion for stinging you? 😅
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 02:30 AM
3

When your partner/spouse begins having sex (often unprotected) with other people, their feelings towards you WILL change for the worse. It’s how terrible behavior towards you is justified; it happens on a subconscious level I would imagine. Tale as old as time. Don’t best yourself up about it. Nothing you could have done to change the outcome. If you must, find a more loyal and loving spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 01:21 PM
6

Wow. When I was being assaulted/abused, I didn’t respond In Kind as I KNEW, being a man, I would be arrested by another man. I was also falsely accused as a means of the other person wanting full custody. I slept in my car for over two months as to save for an attorney. She/They/Them wanted me to agree to never return to the house and agree to almost no time with our kids and she would drop the charges. Went to trial and in not so many words the judge called her a bold face liar. Never agree to …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 04:20 PM
4

Wow. any kids?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 08:45 PM
3

I would. At least it send the message that you are serious about time with your kid. That is family law in a nutshell. The child is hers and the stepdad until the kid turns 18 and then the child is then your child again. It’s odd how fathers who want to be parents are treated.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:02 PM
4

Be prepared for nothing really to happen. A slap on the wrist or tongue lashing as we’d say. Absolutely file yourself to save on legal costs. No point spending $5k to hear “better not do it again”. Withholding a kid from spending time and ultimately bonding with another parent is a low life move. I bet you $1,000,000 if you “gave up” and walked away from the drama to preserve yourself you’d be labelled a deadbeat in a flash. Throughout this process I’ve learned so much of how the world really wo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:06 PM
1

Everyone says this. But society and most judges say that our kids only need their fathers for 4 days out of the month. Which is it?
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 03:21 AM
1

He’s only going to spend 4 days a month with his kids. How can he really?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 12:24 AM
3

When you are already at a minimum and you are a good father. What do you have to loose? Criminals that come out of prison get every other weekend with their kids. What really do you have to loose by *asking* and *pleading* to the courts that you would like equal time with your kids? Sad when a court removes a loving and active father from a kids life only to have that void filed in by God knows what. And how can we say Christian conservative judges? Absolutely removing a father from a kids life …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 03:45 PM
6

Indeed to the comments above. Whyyyyyy would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? That is the nexus of it all really. Gracefully let them go and find someone who actually wants to be with you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 01:03 PM
5

Par the course. Do not stoop to this level however.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 04:03 PM
1

With this mentality, you have a hard road ahead of you. 90% of men here thought what happened to them wasn’t possible until it did.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:07 PM
2

You, sir, are about to get a false restraining order filed against you removing you from the home and forcing you to pay both alimony and child support. You want to be stubborn and not pay her what she’s due? Ok, watch how it will be forced out of you. $150 for a decent voice activated recorder and cameras in common areas or $15,000 defending yourself against claims of abuse against her and the children. Choice is yours. Also bear in mind that she will likely get a free lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 08:03 PM
4

You’re suggesting I kowtow to someone who would convince their own child that they’ve been abused to achieve an end that suits their agenda?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:37 PM
1

Still spending obscene amounts of money on lawyers. Nope, still legally tied to this person. More allegations continue to pour in. (Cps etc). It’s soul wrenching but I would like to think I’m close to being done. It’s just so interesting the amount of hate from the person that wanted this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:48 PM
1

Understood, for now text communication solely about the kid works. I can’t see myself chopping it up with someone that can lie and claim abuse on kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:44 PM
2

I would still get my son a car, put it in his name. It would teach him responsibility. Do things for him, not to obtain a reaction from her etc.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:43 PM
1

What if they tried to put you in jail on false domestic violence charges (civil and criminal) to get you out of the house and away from your kids. Accused you of starving your kids, Accused you of not giving your kids water Accused you of not bathing your kids Accused you of biting your kids Accused you of not giving your kids medicine Accused you of viscously beating your kids Accused you of not supporting your kids Badmouths you to your kids How do you carry on a normal conversation with such …
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:40 PM
1

Why are you being removed from your home?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 03:04 PM
3

What are you really saying?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 05:39 AM
1

Also be prepared to spend about 8k-15k at least fighting against the lies.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 11:36 AM
1

Had this happen to me. Feel free to dm. How do they expect you to even have a conversation with them after something like this? To accuse an otherwise peaceful man and loving father of abuse is THE worst thing someone can do next to blasphemy against God in my book. Almost a year later and I still fear for my freedom even at the sight of her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 11:35 AM
22

Mines literally tried to have me charged criminally and in civil court with domestic violence and child abuse as she attempted to go for sole custody. She wonders why I feel unsafe in both speaking to and being around her. It's strange.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 11:31 PM
3

Absolutely why you must “fight” for equal parenting time. How can you really bond with your kid having them for 4 days out of a month. While Larry will be spending time with your kids 26 days out of the month.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 08:06 PM
17

This is the pang that hurts the most. You feel as if you failed THEM. To have stability in their lives uprooted just so your partner can go and have sex with other people. It's mind blowing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 04:21 PM
1

You are in the for the ride of your life if you’re hearing the words full custody. You NEED, NEED, NEEEEEEEEEEED cameras or a bodycam, voice recorder to protect yourself. Set aside $150 for these things Otherwise plan on spending at least $70,000 in lawyer fees. Message some of your close friends in advance to let them know you’ll be spending time on their couch and also head into the local police station to fill out “pre booking” information for yourself so when the false domestic abuse charges…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 01:51 PM
3

Setting yourself on fire to keep another warm who would harm you in the ways she has IS hurting your kids. Kids deserve two parents in good mental health if it is at all possible. Too often I see men say, I want nothing as I want the kids to have stability etc. You are also a parent, why lower your own value into thinking that they don’t deserve proper housing and stability when with you? As a side note. Look at the guy who thought the same and had to visit his previous marital home that was pai…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 12:40 PM
3

Stepfathers often have more rights than biological fathers. It’s a sad thing to see a father hit with every other weekend despite wanting to be in his kids life but another guy will raise his kid without restraint. Unsure how you can be a parent by seeing your kids for 4 days out of every month.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:29 AM
1

Nobody is suggesting that you act in kind. Rise above evil of course. But you must protect yourself. Pearls before swine…. I’m sorry but she’s no longer your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 02:12 PM
6

Yup. Your family courts at work. Sad that most would bring kids into the world to call another person father or mother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:14 PM
5

Keep your dignity. You shouldn’t have to ask (or any iteration of it) someone to be with you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:31 PM
3

You were doing the right thing…..just with the wrong person.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 05:31 PM
2

Insane that you have to go through this all. A shame really as I’m sure you would have never brought kids into the world with such a person. I carry a bodycam with me always when I am within 3 miles of my stbxw. Installed several cameras within the common areas of the home (she “fled” to a domestic violence shelter to further he case of alleged domestic violence). I can see the effects her lies has had on our kids, she doesn’t. Forced to see your kids at a police station for four hours a week al…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 09:24 PM
2

Their body was there but not their mind or heart.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 07:37 PM
1

How’d that happen? What did you do wrong to get the results above?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:14 PM
1

Yup, there’s more than likely a John Doe on the side. I’m willing to bet a hand that she intends on having your son call him father. I.e she will take him so he can live with her and her lover. Sorry man. I’ve been taught from young that when someone wants a divorce you give it to them. Why be with someone willing to bail on you barring abuse or even adultery. Let that sink in for a second. Your vows meant nothing. You need to go warp speed on the divorce. I do feel for your son however, he will…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:11 PM
7

Tale as old as time. I’ve met zero men that would put a new love interest above their kids. On other hand, I’ve seen kids locked in a room just so they can have intercourse with the new guy….. the kids have to hear everything through the walls. Yet child custody is awarded to the mother 95% of the time. Stepfathers have more rights than fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 06:51 PM
1

Edit
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 06:49 PM
3

Sighs. Men have been beaten down so much (often at the hands of another man) that this is what is perceived as fair. No worries though, the other guy will soon enough have his car parked in their old driveway.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:38 PM
2

She more than likely has been intimate with another man or imminently intends to. Sorry man. Fight to remain in your daughter's life as she will intend to make him her "new father".
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 12:46 PM
1

Sir, she is no longer your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 12:28 AM
2

Keep your guard up for a possible false restraining order which would be a slam dunk for her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:04 PM
1

“Impregnating” works just fine. I mean it’s what the other guy is doing in any event. The main point is that she’s no longer your wife. There are no more sacred vows to uphold. Do you get a pit in your stomach if a random person is getting impregnated? I would presume no, you need to develop a similar mindset. It’s hard but you need to begin healing and maybe find a more suitable spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 02:35 AM
7

You need to do something now. File an emergency show cause if you have to. Head to your local courthouse for assistance in filing the right form. You do not need a lawyer at the onset if you truly can’t afford one. Why have you let 3 months lapsed? You are a parent as well, you have rights. You also need to contest any and all allegations brought before you. If you don’t get In front of a judge asap those 3 months will turn into 3 years. Your call.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 02:04 PM
38

LOL. You know exactly what you need to do. She’s no longer your spouse. She is preparing to be a spouse or sexual partner for another man. Let that sink in and act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:38 PM
38

LOL - I stopped reading at "...living with her new bf". ​ In all seriousness. You are worth more than this. Let's assume you had a son - would you suggest he do the pick me dance for a woman that's sexually involved with another man on the regular? Makes zero sense.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:37 PM
19

Having been falsely accused of domestic violence In the midst of divorce this is hard to watch.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 09:41 PM
63

This needs to be shown on local news outlets asap.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 06:12 PM
28

Jesus Wept. What did I just watch?
/r/MensRights11/07/23 04:58 PM
9

Jesus wept. What about helping the child connect with their actual biological father?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:13 PM
2

Why don’t you have shared physical custody?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:56 AM
9

You must realize she is no longer your wife. She’s not even your friend. You must train your brain to realize she would love to see you in prison. Process that for a second. Sleep on it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 03:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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