Having more kids?

2025-07-02T03:56:09+00:00

How old are you?

Common-Aioli-6722 · 2025-07-01T02:46:14+00:00

I had another kid with a new love after a divorce. The kids love her. No bad thing can come from another child

Signal-Dot2326 · 2025-06-30T02:54:44+00:00

Id have more kids surrogate lol adopt never again with a woman idk if I will ever even get into a relationship again

SeriousGains · 2025-06-27T18:40:24+00:00

This is my biggest concern. I really wanted more than one but I couldn’t imagine doing that to her.

Mymindisgone217 · 2025-06-27T11:42:07+00:00

Just do what you can to include all of your children when you can. Make sure to speak with them about plans for something like a family camping trip that you may be and see if they are wanting to come along. Giving them options will help to have them feel included but not forced.

frogmicky · 2025-06-27T11:39:38+00:00

Personally I have kids already and don't want anymore, if she has kids thats cool. I would like to have a vasectomy going forward I'm done populating the world. It depends on your age and status, If you want more go for it

2025-06-27T07:19:26+00:00

I would first focus on finding the right woman then I would think about having kids.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2025-06-26T19:26:40+00:00

Only way I’m having more kids is if my partner has kids of her own.

I’m snipped and I’m done creating more.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-06-26T17:29:18+00:00

Nope. I love kids, and I miss mine intensely on the weeks I don’t have them (50/50 alternating weeks custody), but I need to simplify my life, not complicate it. Also, I’m paying well over $5k a month in CS and alimony; I need to rebuild financially.

I fill that gap by volunteering with different youth stuff: coaching sports, church youth programs, etc.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2025-06-26T17:20:36+00:00

I have two boys. 3 and 5. Feel your predicament OP. I just couldn’t do it to them. My cousin is thinking about it with his new partner. His two children form previous are now late teens and I think it’s different at that age as they will be starting there own adult lives.

For me personally I’m not wanting to do that and I’m Happy single but dating some nice hot ladies.

Heavy-Bench-5378 · 2025-06-26T16:52:46+00:00

I posted a similar question. I've been separated since last year and currently negotiating a divorce settlement. I am in my 40's and have 3 kids, 1 adult and 1 adolescent, and a 7 year old. The ladies that are interested in me, and I in them, are all childless and younger than me (30's). I tend to avoid single moms, and being 6'3", attractive, in great physical shape, and financially very successful really opens up the dating pool (I have grey sideburns and a salt and pepper goatee, still doesn't scare off the younger ladies). Right now, it is just friends of friends as I haven't been on the dating apps this year (I tried Hinge last year and went on a few dates). My wife has chosen not to date until we're divorced, but she did passionately kiss me last Sunday, we hadn't kissed in a year. On Friday night, my friend Mike's friend from high school expressed interest in meeting, she facetimed in while Mike and I were with friends at the bar. She's a looker, works in law enforcement, and is in her 30's but wants to have 1 child since she has none. I'm on the fence with her, only because she has a very small window and we just met via facetime. I have not dated her but the girls I dated last year all let me know early on about wanting kids.

Long winded way of saying... Yes. I'd consider another 1 - 2 additional children with the right woman.

The right woman has to be my wife's caliber, or better...

checklist:

In good physical shape (my wife is 5'3" and 118 lbs, works out daily, cooks all our meals from scratch).

educated: Bachelor's Degree
from a 2 parent household, good relationship with their Dad
no tattoos or piercings (besides ears)
no surgeries, botox, fillers
no children
classy, pleasant, and feminine
very attractive
no drug use nor history of drug use
Catholic or Christian
no smokers

Last year, I met a stunning Structural Engineer on Hinge, we had an amazing time... I pumped the brakes because she wanted a child I was then undecided. She was blonde with green eyes, swam an hour daily (after work) and often ran too. I am still kicking myself.

LonelyNC123 · 2025-06-26T16:38:20+00:00

I'm 60 in the USA. It is almost impossible to afford children and still retire while you are healthy enough to enjoy being alive. Don't do it!

That1TimeN99 · 2025-06-26T16:27:11+00:00

Imagine ending up with paying child support for to exes.. no thanks. I’m over 40 so for me it’s a no anyway. I don’t have at least 18 more years of child raising in me

Ok-Elephant4746 · 2025-06-26T16:12:52+00:00

If you can afford it, I’d look into surrogacy. That way you won’t lose your kids again.

Big-Candidate3238 · 2025-06-26T15:43:07+00:00

Show me the dotted line, OP. I’ll sign my name under every word. The thinking about more kids, the heartache from fearing my kid would feel left out, the willingness to go 100/0 on custody if mom was willing, the understanding that mom not being in the picture is bad for the kid, and the desire to wake up to kids. What’s stopping me: I can’t do that to my sweet girl, and I take note of the risk that while 50% of first marriages fail, 60% of second marriages fail (in the US at least). Geez, I didn’t think I’d find another person who thinks like me. Thanks for sharing.

P.S. Oh, and the red flags, same here. Saw my first one on the honeymoon, but ignored then and for the next 10 years.

Able_Buy_7859 · 2025-06-26T15:38:01+00:00

I'd suggest putting your paternal energy into nieces, nephews, children of close friends, church youth programs, being a coach, or possibly some kind of mentoring program.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-06-26T15:34:10+00:00

Get a dog

engineered-chemistry · 2025-06-26T15:30:11+00:00

For me, more kids would be unnecessarily complicated. I have 50/50 too but pay $1464 in child support + spousal support. I’ll be financially broken for a while anyways 🤷

whoisgodiam · 2025-06-26T15:20:22+00:00

Dude, why are you going to expose yourself to another divorce rape and more rounds of child support LOL

Title	Having more kids?
Author	warwww
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	June 26, 2025 3:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ll2kgr/having_more_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/having-more-kids.1555646 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555646

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