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Miserable_Ad_1172 Archive

View 26 posts and 721 comments by Miserable_Ad_1172 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
84

Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:05 PM
38

Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 05:06 PM
38

Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 12:08 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 11:05 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 08:25 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 05:16 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 01:14 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 04:59 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 06:37 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:37 AM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:21 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 07:28 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 06:59 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 12:01 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 11:37 AM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 09:23 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 06:40 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 09:39 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 03:33 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 07:29 AM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 03:04 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 03:28 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 09:15 AM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 05:26 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:47 PM
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Miserable_Ad_1172/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 12:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

This right here 💯
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 12:05 PM
3

Let her and him know with through your dedication and kind actions to your children that you will break the soul of anyone who try’s to compete with that. This guys a simp dead beat who hangs out with another man’s kids. Ignore them both. They are aren’t worth a bead of your sweat my man. 💪🏼 Stay strong and look after yourself and your children.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:37 PM
2

Hard to see sometimes when the ex wife seems to be moving on like we never existed. Your post helped though so thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 11:32 AM
4

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 05:39 PM
2

Respect your growth.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 10:18 PM
3

Do you mind if I ask why you wanted another relationship ? I’m not judging I’m just curious. There’s a simple answer how to solve this but I appreciate it’s not for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 10:59 AM
5

OP when you finally let go and taste that sweet freedom there is nothing going to stop you. Keep going it gets so so much better !
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 09:28 PM
2

So inspiring thanks man 😊💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 06:47 AM
3

Second this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 01:01 PM
3

I have two boys. 3 and 5. Feel your predicament OP. I just couldn’t do it to them. My cousin is thinking about it with his new partner. His two children form previous are now late teens and I think it’s different at that age as they will be starting there own adult lives. For me personally I’m not wanting to do that and I’m Happy single but dating some nice hot ladies.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 05:20 PM
2

3 years here to mate. Your not alone. Keep pushing forward. The dark days are the hardest for a reason. They make you stronger. Also no feeling good or bad is permanent. You will feel at peace again.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 05:20 AM
1

Ignore her. Dont react. Keep prioritising your child. Record everything, evidence is one of the best tools in place for going to court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 10:42 AM
2

Your child is allowed fair and equal access to both parents. Get to a solicitor asap and get this to court. The longer you leave it the harder it will be. Ask her if she’s open to mediation first. (It will Reflect poorly on her if she refuses) The courts now days really just want fair 50/50 split as much as possible. The crap she’s making up the judge has seen a million of her and will see through it if it’s false accusations. Good Luck
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 09:04 AM
1

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 05:35 PM
8

It’s different second time around I feel, well for me anyway. I just have such a busy life that it is hard to make time for my girlfriend. It’s like gaining a superpower of control of my own self. In my marriage I was just a push over and just lived for her. 3 years out of that now and I will never sacrifice my peace,happiness and existence for a woman. My girlfriend adds some happy times to my life but is not the whole world. It’s not harsh it’s just a better state of living for me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 09:58 AM
2

The best answer here.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 07:25 PM
2

You aren’t crazy OP. It may happen again for you and it may work. If you choose to stay single though that’s fine too. It’s your life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 11:40 AM
3

Sorry to hear that man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:01 PM
2

Wow are you me ? I did the same thing man. First two years I hoped We would rebuild and come back together. She was building her new life. I was a fool. In year 3 now so no looking back, only forward. This is my year now. Just had a offer on a home accepted, spend 50 percent of time with my two little boys, girlfriend, long term job going well, gym,football,golf,mma,reading,gaming,drawing,journaling etc My rebuild might of taken longer and the pain at times was unbearable but I’m light years ahe…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:46 AM
7

Yeah more awareness needed about this. When I was married my ex went through 2 miscarriages, losing her best friend to Suicide and losing grandparents in a short space of time. It really hurt us as a couple. I’m sure I could have done more but ultimately she wanted to leave and wasn’t happy. We had 2 little boys after the miscarriages and they are just the best thing. She left when our youngest was 8 weeks old. 3 years on I’m about recovered. See my two boys 50 percent of the time. Civil with th…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:26 AM
1

Love this answer. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:39 PM
3

It’s ok man. Stay strong and you will be ok. Lots of us here have all been through it. You’re not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 04:21 PM
10

💯 agree with this. OP just because society tells us we must accept blended families/co parenting/ex partners who aren’t accountable etc doesn’t mean you have to tolerate it. It’s great you want what’s best for your child but if that means her having something separate with your family and friends for her then do it. Children can read more than you think. I show my boys my authentic self and it’s better they know that we both love and care for them but we do things separately. If when my boys get…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:53 PM
11

Take her to Italy or the UK (Lake District,Cotswolds ? ) Your ex’s trip is nothing to do with yours and vice versa. If anything your daughter gets to go twice if they choose to re organise the France trip.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 02:58 PM
3

I’m 3 years since she left and seperated, divorced 1 year 7 months. Still feel hurt at times. I feel I should be further along. I have a great relationship with my two young boys 5 and 3 but letting go and forgiving her for breaking up the family is proving hard. Any advice ? would be really appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 02:54 PM
2

This post helped me. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 10:28 AM
1

100 percent this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 09:08 AM
2

What helped you stop letting women control you with sex. My ex wife used it like a proper manipulation tool and reward tool. Sick when I look back. I’m doing better 2.5 years later but would appreciate any advice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 08:38 PM
5

This is fantastic. Coming up to 3 years in April since she left. One and a half years divorced. It’s getting better..slowly. I still occasionally catch myself comparing myself with her. Still work to do but I kind of reached a stagnant point with self improvement. Gotta keep moving forward. Thanks again OP. Really kind and thoughtful post.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 10:53 PM
1

Hmmm a little judgemental. OP may of tried his best with what he knew at the time. You are right relationships are a massive amount of work. That’s why for Some people it’s better to casual date and live a peaceful content life being free from trying to Meet someone else’s expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:09 PM
4

100 percent.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 10:08 AM
5

Your gona be ok man. Thousands have been where you have been right now and rebuilt even better. It’s not easy but nothing good comes easy. I have been where you are now, still have hurt at times. You are not alone. Never take a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 04:29 PM
2

Love hearing these types of stories. Gives me hope.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 12:26 PM
3

Man I hate this too. My ex wife acts like we are best friends. Absolutely delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 11:09 AM
3

Amen to this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 09:52 AM
16

Get out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 05:23 PM
16

Dodged a bullet with that one. Keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 05:01 PM
2

This is always what my Counseller told me. It’s will never be as bad as that initial shock in the first few weeks of it all.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 02:42 PM
6

He’s a bro for life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 07:52 PM
1

Just search at the top of this page WhatsApp group link
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 07:30 AM
1

Sorry that happened mate that’s unimaginable pain. We have a WhatsApp group based of this reddit page if you need support.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 08:05 PM
1

Yeah both below age of 5
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 08:04 PM
5

Sorry this is happening man. I’m lucky in regard that when our second child was born she made the decision to end the marriage. I often think the reality of my future would have been what you describe now. I didn’t want to break up the family and I was fairly content but she changed a lot after children. Helicopter parenting,nagging,never being good enough, emotions tied into everything. I played my part too. If you both go to therapy and can work through the issues you have both as individuals …
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 12:19 PM
7

100 percent agree here. Don’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 08:58 AM
6

Gotta echo this as the other path of thought only leads to pain and suffering. Like you my early thoughts hurt so much on this and while I do feel pain about it somedays I know that as long as my boys are safe I will always,always be their father. I met my ex’s boyfriend on Christmas Day during handover. He seems like a normal guy who’s also divorced with kids. I shook his hand and said merry Christmas and then went on my way. It felt relief to do this and gave me a sense of peace. I will never …
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 08:57 AM
7

Same after our second child. We both just ended up resenting each other. Sad as it could have been worked on from both our parts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 07:59 PM
5

Thank you for writing this. It’s inspiring when I feel I have lost everything.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 10:05 PM
2

Thank you I appreciate that. I found the video informative and reassuring. Thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 11:12 PM
5

😂 so something close to a regret or second thought.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 11:11 PM
2

Still hurts often though. That loss of family unit.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 08:43 PM
6

Thanks man. He was eight weeks old when she walked out. I’m doing ok now days. I have a good amount of time with my two boys but now she wants to be friends 😂. I said if my friends did what you did they wouldn’t be my friends.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 08:43 PM
11

Mine told me she has never had a wobble in the 2.5 years we have been seperated/divorced. That really fucking hurt me :( We were together 12 years,married for 7 of those,have two children 2 and 5. It’s like I wasn’t even valued. I could have never done that to her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 07:57 PM
42

I’m all for having fun times with women but your colleague is a grade A cunt and also a weak man. All those single women he could choose. The fact he knows she’s engaged makes him a slime ball. I should go tell her fella and just ghost your colleague. You don’t need people like that in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 11:26 AM
7

There is no shame in this at all. Divorce is the start of a sometimes very slow rebuild. I have been back at my parents 2 years. I have now a deposit saved for a home. Spent some quality time with my family. Built a great bond between my two children and there grandparents. Made some great memories. Rebuilt my self physically and mentally. This years my year for the comeback. Trust the process and work towards getting a tiny bit better everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 10:52 AM
3

Wonderfully written and very accurate.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 07:56 PM
15

Gotta agree with this. Not shitting on OP post as we don’t know the full details but being happy shouldn’t be about being with anyone other than yourself first. A good woman may come along or she may not. Either way men should work on finding fulfilment and purpose to their life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 04:45 PM
2

Ahh I see you were also a victim of the armchair ex wife psychologist 😂
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 01:34 AM
6

Sorry to hear this mate. I hope you have found some semblance of peace ?
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:20 AM
7

😂 I shouldn’t laugh but this is so spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 10:34 AM
2

Most realistic and healthy answer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 10:20 PM
2

No problem man. Good luck and stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 08:15 PM
3

So you need to focus on detaching. Parallel parenting helps keep your contact to the absolute minimum. She may come back, she may not but you have to be ok about either outcome. Try to agree with her on the big things with your children but the rest just keep the contact limited. If she’s single there’s nothing wrong with doing joint events. For me when she got a boyfriend it ended my desire to play happy family’s. They need to understand that you have self respect and if they choose to not be a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 07:55 PM
2

Haha I fucking love that first paragraph man. Yeah I don’t entertain that shit. What my ex does is up to her but I’m just not ready to introduce my boys to anyone. Don’t feel I ever will either it will always be to weird for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 07:32 PM
2

There’s a WhatsApp group from this reddit page. Search it in the search box. We can help you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 11:48 AM
5

Was ok until she got a boyfriend. Now I choose to parallel parent to keep my peace of mind and be a better father.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 11:32 AM
9

Live free and at peace when I don’t have my boys. Live for love,adventure and fulfilment when I do have them. Not a bad way to a live a good life. Not really sure what any woman can add to that and I don’t really want to try that again either.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 08:25 PM
2

What a response man. The accountability,clarity and transparency of your reply. Explained that exactly how it is, no bullshit. I completely agree and really liked what you said it’s made you stronger but would Also not wish it on anyone. I feel just the same thank you for your reply it gives me strength and like you said. It makes us all here feel a little more ‘seen’.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 09:21 PM
2

Wow I feel I could have wrote this. You explained it so well. I also tried for just over two years making big changes, counselling (individual) etc. She says she’s proud of me and sometimes angry that it took her leaving for this to happen. She has never taken any accountability or responsibility for her destroying the family unit. Other than the very day she left where she proclaimed “I’m the home wrecker” After the reality set it all the blame was placed on me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 06:24 PM
1

I’m really sorry this happened OP. I have to take full accountability so hears a little about me. My wife left me when our second child was 8 weeks old. She returned the next day so they both could spend time with me. We are now divorced and it’s been 2.5 years since the day she left the family home. She has a new boyfriend and appears moved on. Here’s where I have to be open I have been in counselling/therapy for over 2 years now probably around 20 sessions. It has helped me massively. Where th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 06:17 PM
7

They for the streets man. Surface level people do that shit. Remember unless there was major infidelity or physical abuse breaking a family up and replacing is unkind behaviour.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 04:37 PM
1

Completely agree with this comment. We go through suffering to keep ‘our family’ together.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 04:30 PM
9

She told me recently after a couple of years seperated/divorced that women don’t have to stay in unhappy marriages. I was content and focused on building our little family together. Wished I had known she was so unhappy 🤯
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 06:48 PM
3

Haha do you know my ex ? 2.5 years out and she’s now (last 9 months) secured her new source of income. It’s fucking hard and hurts seeing her so happy and moved on and introducing him to our two boys. I just do me and build a new life for myself and my two sons. That’s all I can do. I hope one day to be fully moved on but hey at least I know I loved her deeply and for me it was for real. I would have never given up. Just gotta keep focusing on the now and what I can do to better my life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 06:00 PM
1

Would second this. A good friend of mine got me a cheap set of clubs and all four of us now play together. They aren’t the best at understanding my divorce but they have been there for me by getting me active and sharing their hobby with me. We have a great laugh and it’s a good distraction.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 11:23 AM
5

Stop drinking.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 11:17 AM
9

That was hard to read even if there is some truth in there. . Quit the fucking alcohol for a start it’s a natural depressant. Start living and stop caring for someone who couldn’t care less about you. The only revenge is to live a good life and only you get to choose that. Your gona be ok man. Join men’s groups who have been through it. The only people who get bored of hearing it are ones who have never been through it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 11:15 AM
1

Can you answer how you re framed it like this ? Genuinely asking as 2.5 years out and I still have days I hurt or miss the family unit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 12:37 PM
3

Completely the same. I will add I have children and I miss the family unit so for me I see zero reason to start a relationship again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 07:56 AM
1

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:52 PM
1

Man seriously sex and other women are overrated. Grass is not greener. Unhappiness nearly always comes from the internal not the external. Could you join a gym or club with your wife ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:39 PM
13

You need a hero’s journey. Imagine in another 10 years you have.. Reconnected with son. Have a career. Have a home. Have hobbies. Spend timer with friends and family. Are fit healthy and clean. The only person stopping you, is you. So you better get to work. Get to it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 07:40 AM
6

Really needed this today. Thank you for reminding me of the path. It’s is the power of out thoughts that determine the quality of our life but for grief we must let time do it’s work.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 12:47 PM
1

This was wonderful to read. I’m 2.5 years out and while far better I still have dark days but I can see the light in the wreckage of the storm now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 12:13 PM
3

This hit home. Soon as she told me about the new guy my self respect kicked in and my simping days ended.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 11:49 AM
3

Wow this rings so true with me !
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 06:48 AM
1

This page does have a WhatsApp group.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 11:59 PM
5

Man that sex as a reward base system rings true. Sorry you had these experiences man. Hope your doing ok.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:38 PM
2

Savage but so funny 😂
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:34 PM
2

That’s a awful mate. Hope Your doing much better. You deserve much so much better.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:33 PM
3

I’m pleased to hear that man. I’m 2.5 years out,one full year divorced. Still have tough days. Any advice that’s helped you ? I just turned 40 yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:30 PM
6

That’s if I was feeling low or down that I should “snap out of It” Then told me I needed counselling. Counseller wanted to speak to her but oh no she thought the Counseller would try to manipulate her. Kept a score card for when I was good and when I did something she didn’t like. Dot for good, dash for bad. My parents told me if they had that system they wouldn’t of last a year. They are at 46 years. Double standards for many things. Belittled me as a father and said some hurtful things.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:29 PM
2

Your a real one. Know that you are kingly. Your gona be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:24 PM
1

😂👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 11:28 PM
3

This is awesome and exactly how I feel towards my ex wife. Not hate. Just not wanting to be in any other type of relationship. It’s like they love to still keep you simping around. Cut off their ego supply.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 11:28 PM
1

Those sorts of guys are fucking weirdos. I’m sure there’s some awesome steps fathers out there but when it’s 50/50 why even get involved.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 11:25 PM
2

Thank you for this reply. I’m 2.5 years out. Felt ashamed i was still grieving but realised it’s a long process.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 11:23 PM
1

I think becoming a strong person means that you won’t tolerate what may have happened to you in a previous relationship/marriage. Being able to set strong boundaries and being able to remain stable when under pressure. Recognising a trash person or one who isn’t a good fit for your life is only possible when not coming from a desperate place of need.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 07:34 PM
3

This 💯
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 11:39 AM
6

This is the true way to be. If it’s a Mutual decision then sure be friends. If they choose to leave you, then let them experience the full loss of you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 11:37 AM
1

💯
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 01:15 PM
12

I genuinely just have no desire for it. Spent a couple of years on online dating just enjoying it. Now I feel more at peace without a relationship. Just don’t see point. It’s always personal preference but for me I have my two boys ,family,friends,work and hobbies. No time for it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 10:17 AM
4

Join the WhatsApp group for this Reddit page. It will help you. Even if you made mistakes you can learn,grow and better yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 09:52 PM
2

Completely agree. I spent 2.5 years trying to get her back, even after divorce was final. What a dummy I was. Over the past three months I have gone no contact unless strictly related to children. I have felt better in the last two months than I have in 2.5 years. No contact doesn’t mean be a dick but it’s to help you heal and move on. Distance emotionally and physically as much as possible. You will start to feel so much better. It grants you control back over your own mind and feelings. Don’t …
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 08:12 PM
2

Join the what’s app group from this Reddit page
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 08:07 AM
2

Yeah this helped me a lot in the last months. Started out as co parents that worked ok for 2 years. Then new boyfriend on the scene and she just became really unreliable and like a different person. I keep contact to a absolute minimum now which helps. This isn’t what I wanted but I will strive to make the best of my new life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 12:26 PM
3

It will get better. I’m 2.5 years out. I felt like you did at times. It does eventually pass and you start to see that this isn’t all your fault. Mine didn’t cheat but betrayed my trust in many other ways. Come join the WhatsApp group from this page. Lots of different guys with different time lines on there. Search ‘WhatsApp’ in the search box at the top of this page. You will be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 10:48 PM
8

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 10:43 PM
1

Happiness comes from within.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:46 PM
1

This is so inspiring. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:43 PM
3

Wow wish my ex wife had seen my tone as just masculine discipline. She grew up in an all female household. So sad as last summer after 2 years apart she asked me why I wasn’t being more strict or disciplining our eldest son. I said I tried to while we were married and you stopped me every time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 04:42 PM
3

Stay in the present brother. Keep your plans to yourself and rebuild in silence. Your gona be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:32 PM
17

You have no control over what she does. Let go of her and the walking disaster she will be. Be there for your children always. Don’t worry about what she does it will destroy you if you let. Chin up, shoulders back and walk forward. Don’t stop to look what’s behind you in the past. The dumpers will always do what they want. You have to do what’s right for you and the children now. I know it’s really hard to hear but that has to be your only focus.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:01 PM
4

This is inspiring to read man, I’m 2 and a half years out and feel like is shouldn’t still be grieving. I too was made out to be a terrible person. It took me 2 years of counselling to realise I wasn’t. I see my boys a decent amount but I’m not sure I can ever forgive her for breaking our family up.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 09:57 PM
3

2 and a half years later. Really started to build momentum in my thinking in the last month or so. It truly does get easier. The memories or the lost future will take a long time to grieve but life is for living. I see my two boys a fair bit, I’m currently close to being able to move out my parents after losing the martial home and most other parts of my life are going great. I’m not wanting a relationship but I’m a peace with that. Time changes all thoughts 💪🏼 You will be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 08:53 AM
9

That’s ex wife of yours is a very damaged person who should of never been married. This isn’t about you. She left. You tried your best to honour your vows. So let’s get started. Get her out your head. Whatever work it takes. There are some amazing people out there to meet. You will be ok and rebuild but you need to work on your self esteem. Your life is what you make it and you must make it a good one. Every day is a gift. It’s ok man to have down days you have been through a lot. Now’s the time…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 11:02 PM
2

Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 09:08 AM
1

Thanks kind stranger. I’m starting to slowly believe in myself again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 12:07 PM
3

Yeah that family unit feeling is so powerful. One thing that helped me was my Counseller asked me to focus on the reality of if we were back together not the fantasy. It made me realise what I wanted back was the safety of being a family man. I can still be that with my boys but without someone who I can’t trust or having her always put me down.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 07:15 AM
1

Thanks man I have been big into stoic philosophy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 07:12 AM
2

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Messages like that help me re focus and understand what I must do. I have found a lot of the above helpful and think now the last ingredient is just time. Are there any self help books etc you could recommend ? I have a read a couple
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 08:49 PM
3

How did you get over her ? I feel so ashamed I still care deeply for her after 1 and half years separated and a full year divorced. Does it get better ? Hurts when I see her so I really stick to the minimalist contact I can. She’s moved on so easily :(
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:55 PM
4

Man i hear you on this. Pisses me off when people are just like oh it’s the norm, just move on like she has. Makes me feel sick.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:52 PM
3

How did you reach the point of no feelings for her ? I’m finding that hard even two years later. Did you leave her ? I feel sometimes it makes a difference.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:51 PM
11

No it started really well. A year and half later she got a boyfriend and she just was really poor at keeping to schedules and not being there on drop offs etc. Really sad as we were doing great. Now I see how weak I was and was her fill in guy until she had fully moved on. I keep her at arms distance at all times now. Parallel parenting for me. I don’t think that’s harsh either as this person doesn’t respect me or how much effort I put into our children’s lives. I’m done being a doormat. Been go…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:50 PM
2

😂💙
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 03:40 PM
1

Join the WhatsApp group mate there’s link for it on this Reddit page.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 10:14 AM
1

That’s ok man, don’t feel pressured ever. Feelings and thoughts are ever changing but it’s your life and you can choose what fufills you. It’s hard as we have to look past the fairytale we are told or shown as children. Real relationships aren’t like that they have to be worked on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 07:41 AM
2

Completely agree with what you have said mate and I think it’s just time and maybe just that one person will come a long who will change your mind but and this is a big but there is nothing wrong with how your living your life if your happy doing that then that’s what you should continue to do. Some people are just not that into relationships and that’s understandable after what we have been through. Mine didn’t even cheat but the betrayal and just the ease at which it was done was enough for me…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 05:51 AM
10

2 and a half years out (one year of that fully divorced) No, I don’t even want a relationship. I just can’t feel that way right now. I’m not sure I ever will. I have two young children who are my world. Feel heartbroken my ex wife has now introduced them to her boyfriend but this is life and what she does it not within my control. I focus on their time with me. I’m not sure when I can say I will feel fully healed. We were together 13 years and I never ever wanted a divorce but she threatened me …
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 10:11 PM
2

Man are you me ??? Really hit me reading this as it sounds so much like my ex wife 😞 Her dad had an affair and left when she was six years old. Is that the sort of thing you mean with abandonment issues ? Sorry to question but even after 2 years I still feel lost and the nagging question “why” in my head. She just blamed me for everything and called me a absent father 😔 I did everything for her and my two boys, she will never know how much that hurt me saying that to me when I know it wasn’t the…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:18 PM
1

Sadly it was the beginning of the end when we had our first boy, by the second one it’s was over in her head. She left when my youngest was 8 weeks old. Not sure if I can find forgiveness for that. I have my two boys nearly 50/50 so it’s ok. She changed massively as a person and I don’t blame her for that. I’m just very sad and hurt she couldn’t see it. Love my boys so much though so it was always worth it even with all the pain of the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:12 PM
1

Same for me with parents being together still and I felt such a failure when my ex wife left. “The spark has gone for me” Among one of her reasons. So so sad. I learnt conflict resolution from my parents. I would of always worked through any problems we had. 2 years on I’m doing better but it still hurts and I miss 50 percent of the time with my boys.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 10:12 PM
1

Thanks for taking the time to Explain.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 06:15 PM
1

It’s easier when you have children. They give me purpose. I enjoy and build my friendship and family relationships. I enjoy my hobbies and work. I miss the family unit but her I’m or who she turned into I don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 03:27 PM
2

Wow are you me. Need to read no more mr nice guy. I chased her approval (happy wife happy life nonsense) Turned me into such a worse human and I’m sorry for her because I never wanted her to feel let down but I realise I could never live up to what she wanted. That was over 2 years ago and while its been really hard I have taken positive steps to rebuild myself. I miss what I thought we were.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 03:23 PM
9

Mine didn’t. Or I haven’t ever seen it. She moved on and never looked back. Told me in 2 years she’s never had a wobble at all. Don’t think il ever understand and it still hurts now just how easily she’s broke out family up. 😞
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 03:47 PM
1

No worries man. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:17 PM
1

Divorce Support Group for Men Divorce Support Group for Men May we all prevail in 2023, stay strong and stay focused. Join us on the whatsapp or discord support group, there is just a bunch of guys supporting each other during this trying time, we all at different stages and this group has helped a lot of get our lives back on track and help each other out. Group is for men only. Please PM me for the link if I remove it, I do this to avoid spammers. This group has helped hundreds of us, just tal…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:13 PM
2

Fucking too a tee ! 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 10:59 AM
1

You sure as hell are not a failure. Zero excuses for what she did. You got this OP Stay strong when you can and come here for support or join the WhatsApp group
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 10:35 AM
3

We had two miscarriages and then went on to have two healthy children. After that first miscarriage she changed a lot and I would never hold that against her, it affected her much more and I didn’t have the tools to help her as much as I could. 8 weeks after our second child was born she left me. One thing I found really hard was how much anger,hate and blame she had for me. I was co dependent man and it’s ok it happens but you need to learn to break that and be good to yourself. You are enough.…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 12:46 PM
2

Great advice. Do not rush. Feel it all. Don’t bury it. Rebuild with unshakeable foundations.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:35 AM
1

This is true !
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:34 AM
5

You are not weak. She chose to end this. Not you. I’m sure you weren’t perfect but this is not all on you. She will Regret this but you will probably never see it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:34 AM
1

You will be. Trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:32 AM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 01:43 PM
1

Thanks for the follow up appreciate it. What if she (the dumper) blames me for her leaving and even still now blames me for it all ? Her lack of self awareness or empathy blows my mind sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 10:24 PM
1

I’m hoping this aligns. Felt like I wasted first two years hoping we would get back together, man I feel so stupid. She messaged a couple months ago to let me know she was seeing someone and wanted to introduce them to the our two boys. That’s was the final nail for me. I think being dumped plays a big part in the time line. She seemed over it so fast. It’s inspiring to Read your comment though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 09:59 PM
3

This is slowly sinking in nearly a year after being officially divorced. Annoyed with myself for taking so long and holding a false hope. Should of taken her at her word. Still making slow progress. Liked your comment as it’s just a good reality check.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 09:53 PM
2

Awesome post !
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 08:04 PM
2

Wow I didn’t expect such an amazing answer and I love the accountability, I also know I made a lot of mistakes, so I’m looking to fix those even if it’s just for my future.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 09:01 PM
1

I’m 2 and a half years out man and still have times where I get upset at what was lost. Any advice ?
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 05:33 PM
3

39 divorced also. It was worth it for my two boys. But never going to do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 10:11 PM
6

So so true. The mask falls, always.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:07 PM
2

You do Your self a disservice ‘Master at arms’.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 02:06 PM
7

A rallying cry ! Thank you. Needed this to read this today My King 👑
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 09:42 PM
11

It will be ok. You are alive man and you will get through this. One day at a time, one hour and a time, one minute at a time. This Reddit group is a good one and there’s lots of good men here who will be here to listen and give helpful advice. Look after yourself and be around your friends and family. It’s going to be one of the hardest things you ever go through. But you will get through it. I promise. For now grieve and keep active. Do not have false hope, do not chase her. If she wants to com…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 07:22 PM
2

This is so lovely.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 12:53 PM
7

Link to video ? But yes agree that rings true with how I felt.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 08:06 AM
3

This really resonated. I always wondered why she could be so calm,cold and manipulative while I had as a ball of nerves,sat on my parents sofa for days shaking and in shock. She also over the course of two years since she left convinced me it was all my fault and if i had only changed the marriage would still be. It took me two and a half years of counselling to understand what was happening too me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 07:41 AM
1

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 07:21 AM
3

Gain strength from your boys. When they aren’t there you must keep yourself busy and exhaust yourself in all that you do. You can truly better your life and in turn there’s if you just believe you can. Forget about the ex. Work on yourself. You going to be ok. We have all been there. Some days I feel I still am but then I look at my progress. Self esteem and confidence come from continually doing what you say your going to do.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 08:14 PM
1

How long did it take you to reach this mindset and lifestyle ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:21 PM
2

This is a good post overall but I can see why it might attract negative comments. You are right self reflection and self awareness are how we grow and improve on our faults for the part we played. Some people are fighters some are quitters. You just have to hope You find a fighter who will always try to work on things openly with you. Also remember some of the guys here are fresh in the hell, it’s raw and we were all defensive at one point in the process. Good point a you made though mate 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 06:04 PM
3

You have to set a line of you stay here in these nights and that you are safe here with me. He will get used to it quicker than you think. The more of a deal you make of it the hard it will become. In time he will realise being with dad is safe,fun,exciting and worth it. 😊
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:24 PM
10

This is the answer OP
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 03:25 PM
5

Agreed with just powering through. Let him know your there for him but build the bond and he will settle 😊
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 01:56 PM
6

Thanks man, just fucking hurts deep ! Someone go I trusted fully and thought loved me in the way I loved her. My friends and family just tell me to let her go as she wasn’t good for me. It’s that family unit I miss so much. Just trying to move forward and better my life but damm progress seems one step forward,two steps back some days. Appreciate your reply.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 10:29 AM
1

Yeah she always held the power in the marriage. Threatening to walk away if ever I tried to stand up for myself or have any form of boundaries. Divorce was never an option for me, but for her it was always there as a weapon to be wielded. I knew from the time a year before the marriage ended where I curled up in the corner of our kitchen saying I couldn’t take this anymore, with her telling me how I wasn’t good enough etc as I was sobbing.. I will never let another human treat me like that again…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:41 AM
1

Great idea with the journaling 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:26 AM
1

Thank you,sage advice
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:25 AM
2

This has fired me up to keep improving and get this last mental hurdle over with. I know it’s time and a process that I have to work through but thank you for the inspiration.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:24 AM
2

Thanks man that is really great advice. Yes I know the things i could of been better at in the relationship but I can safely say the last two years I have worked and improved upon all of them. It just felt like even though she’s moved on she just won’t forgive them or let me forget them. She wasn’t perfect either and in my mind none of the problems were ever big enough to warrant divorce,not by a long shot. Your right about the dating. It was nice to feel desired but maybe better to spend time o…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:23 AM
2

Thanks for making me answer these questions in my own mind. Yeah my confidence has been building and it’s slow progress sometimes. I’m in the best shape I have been in since maybe 15 years ago. The good thing I’m enjoying that and have made working out a habit for 14 months now. My diet is poor though and I can definitely get that much better. My two boys are actually very young 2 and 5 Im very involved with them and they love spending time with me, often they video call on mummy’s phone as they…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 08:29 PM
2

Awesome advice 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:52 PM
3

This is really well written and inspiring thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:48 PM
1

Sound advice, yeah maybe I should look into this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:47 PM
1

Thank you so much. Kind stranger.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 06:00 PM
5

So true
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 04:36 PM
6

I left a note a few weeks after my wife left when she came to do some stuff in our home. Just a love note. She just turned it over and wrote the website address for a help line called “steps to change” Discarding is a hell of a thing. Her arrogance and ego still blow my mind sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 04:36 PM
2

Thank you. Yes I have struggled with this in the two years since she left. She blamed me for it all thus her gaining the power and position on the pedestal and me playing the pick me dance. Sad but true. Glad I did take the time to improve though.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 08:42 AM
3

True fatherhood and masculinity 💪🏼 this is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 09:15 PM
1

😂 I love this group
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 06:49 PM
8

I have tussled with this for a long time. I have been divorced 1 year, separated for 2 and half years. Fought hard for the marriage and I still miss the family unit. At the end of the day it’s a personal choice. If you want to do this it will be better for your children in the long run. We can’t worry what the ex wife does but we can keep our own lives a place of calm,peace,fun,love,discipline and kindness. To be honest your right I find many with daddy issues and the ex wife had those in abunda…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 06:14 PM
7

What could of brought this on dude ? Curious what happened ? It’s hard I know. Mine wants to be best buds but I’m just like “I wanted to be your best friend,lover and husband” I’m not being friends with her, I’m friendly and kind. How do you feel man ?
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 05:04 PM
2

Really sorry that happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 04:26 AM
1

Also if your wife left you 1.5 years is no time. Not saying your not ready but just look after yourself first dude 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 07:40 PM
5

Looks like will fade when your both older. If you want a relationship for a few years for the rest of your life then this is what your looks will matter. If she has lots of great qualities as a person she’s for the long term. Also the women your looking at would potentially be awful partners. If you want long term wife/life partner accepts the few things you don’t like now. No one is perfect, so just choose.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 07:40 PM
2

Thank you so much for the non judgemental reply. No I don’t interfere at all. It hurts like hell to be honest but I know making anything of it only fuels her ego and belittles how far mentally I have come in two years. Does that make sense. Yes also see your points on OPs original comment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 06:15 PM
5

I hear you brother. It’s there own guilt or insecurities playing out. Easier to blame anyone else other than looking inward. That’s where they fear to go. You got this man, keep being a great Dad. Let the hate wash over you like waves over a rock.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 06:13 PM
6

Sorry she’s like this dude. All jokes aside in the comments but honestly how do I stop myself becoming the bitter one. I feel like I’m so far behind my ex wife who in 2 years has left me,sold our home, rented,divorced me,then bought a place and then finally two weeks ago has a new boyfriend of 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 05:04 PM
2

Do you believe this is true, genuine question, I feel I listen to nothing but divorce advice/how to get over ex wife etc….. feel like shit 😅 any advice ? Should I just listen to stuff I actually enjoy. I have found useful Info from some podcasts/YouTube etc but feel stuck and maybe that’s to do with staying in the recovery for too long. 1 year fully divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 01:01 PM
3

I grew up with mum and dad. They are still together now. They have been so supportive but my boys growing up from a broken home seems devastating and I miss my family unit. It’s just so alien to me while my ex wife this was her normal.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 07:34 PM
12

“Reputation is what people think of you. Character is who you are.” You have been through a lot and your still here. Feel pity for those who couldn’t even fathom the depth of pain you have felt or experienced. Your a good man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 05:39 PM
1

Thank you 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 09:08 AM
1

Thank you for explaining. Just miss my wife and little family we built. I’m not sure if I will ever get over that but I’m so sad/frustrated she won’t ever give me the chance to do that. I guess somethings are not meant to be.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 10:09 PM
1

I don’t always feel this place is an echo chamber, I think there’s a lot of pain here and that’s perfectly understandable. I will always hold myself accountable but it would destroy me to know it was all my fault when it wasn’t. All I can do is look after my side of the fence.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 10:04 AM
1

Man it’s tough isn’t. I feel also even two years on that I had my family and that I can’t move past that. I’m ok on my own with my family and friends. Keep moving forward and go at your own pace. It will be ok and eventually you realise the reality of being back with the ex is a fantasy that would be awful. Stay strong man.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 10:02 AM
1

Good point. You are right. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 09:54 AM
1

Yeah man it’s hard. Knowing my ex wife puts on such a fake show for our two boys. I get why she does, but it hurts to know and is hard to see as it makes me question was the relationship even real.x
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 11:19 PM
2

Thank you. You can tell as. Nothing was constructive and especially concerning considering the stability my mind was in when I posted this. Just cruel for the sake of it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:04 PM
1

Thank you for asking. I feel at most we both were that with each other, or couldn’t understand each others needs, I said to her I feel we could of worked through these things in counselling, we didn’t listen or communicate sadly. I was never controlling or manipulative but I couldn’t explain well enough as I was so frustrated and afraid she would bring up divorce again. I guess it doesnt matter now as she divorced me in the end. I’m in counselling and have been for a lot of sessions over the 2 y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:48 PM
1

Thanks man, here if you need to someone to talk too 👍🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:44 PM
3

On reflection I completely agree. It’s set me back a lot and gave me a severe feeling of guilt.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 10:01 AM
2

Tbf I lived this life in the last 2 years and it is really nice and free, but your right deep down I thought we might be able to get back together. So having that fantasy was not looking at the real truth that she was moving on. I would like to meet someone one day but I enjoy being with my two boys, gym,hobbies,reading and being with friends and family.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 07:47 PM
2

There is truth to this in the fact I was happy as a little family, I think she was unhappy and just used threats to try to change me. Divorce was thrown at me multiple times which in turn destroyed my feeling of being in a safe happy relationship, but I still believed in it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 06:14 PM
3

This is a great reply thank you for taking the time to message. Yeah it’s time to put some real distance between us and no more reactions or asking her questions other than absolute essential things about the children. Need to remember who the hell I’am. Felt like I have been worn down to nothing. Time to get back up and stand tall. For myself, for my boys.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 05:54 PM
3

Ok man I do see your points and agree that they love differently to us. I will move forward. It’s all I can do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 05:31 PM
3

I mean after Childbirth and leaving with an 8 week old she most definitely wasn’t seeing anyone. That’s just not something either of us ever did. Grown ups leave before resorting to cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 03:43 PM
2

Thank you for that, it’s much appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 10:38 AM
0

Thank you. All she’s says is she wasn’t perfect either, no apologies,empathy or insight. I know it’s a futile battle to get her to see my side. It was like speaking to a robot yesterday. Arms crossed and just a cold tone. I need to be strong for my boys now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 10:33 AM
1

You don’t think I’m a awful person ?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 10:27 AM
1

She wasn’t home with the kids when I got in from work, just always at her mums or her twin sisters, I just wanted to walk through the door and then be there,you know what I mean ? Sex became a reward based treat. She got much worse OCD when covid hit and continued after, hand gel until our eldest child’s hands were red raw. Never felt like my thoughts or issues with the marriage were taken seriously. Just told “that’s who I’am,deal with it” When I got threatened with divorce in the last few year…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 05:31 AM
2

What helped you reach this place ?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 05:16 AM
3

💪🏼 thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 08:10 PM
0

If they choose to leave the door is always open. I was very co dependent on my ex wife and it made moving on so very difficult. Still hurts now. Moving forward. Being open to rejection and having an abundance mindset has helped me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 12:45 PM
4

There will be a lot who couldn’t have children or prioritised work. Learn what are your red flags. It’s hard and there’s also nothing wrong with being alone
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 12:41 PM
3

Stay close to your son. The pain will pass from her. You have to be strong for your son now. Be where he is. Set boundaries with her you are not a babysitter you are an equal parent. I feel you won’t have any regrets if you are close to your son. I’m from the UK 😂 there’s loads to enjoy in bad weather. Who knows you might me a lovely lady in that autumn fall in Maine.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 12:40 PM
1

I feel like I only look at the positives 2 years on. Looking at what if and being told I was the reason she left and it’s my fault. Shit messes with your head.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 10:31 AM
2

Never ever underestimate the hole you will leave. It will be ok. I promise you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 07:02 AM
5

That’s good right there. Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 07:01 AM
3

Fucking love this video watched it many times.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:52 PM
1

“Ma man” 😉😃 this is the way. Find yourself a younger, kind woman who isn’t going to destroy you, at least if she does you get to smash that 🐱
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:51 PM
9

Trying to do this a lot man, thank you for the guidance. My ex wife told me some really hard things and it was so hard not to let it destroy my self esteem.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 06:02 PM
7

Not sure il will ever forgive my ex wife for leaving with my 2 year old and 8 week old. We are good co parents and I see them nearly 50/50 but god even after two years I have nightmares about that day she left. It nearly killed me. Never ever underestimate the hole you would leave.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 05:44 PM
2

Love that, being the anchor 😊
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 11:20 PM
1

Thanks man. I have been fairly successful with online dating but once I get further into the dates I back off fast as the feeling of a family unit isn’t there. I worry I won’t feel the same about another woman. My ex wife is the mother of my children and I see her on this big pedestal I know this is wrong. it’s so so hard to let that go but I know I must.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 12:44 PM
2

That’s really nice to explain that, I appreciate it. Even though she divorced me there’s times where I’m racked with guilt, pain, and asking those what if questions or I really should of done or said X or Y in that situation. I’m not sure I’m ready to date yet as I don’t want to repeat mistakes I made. There’s days where I feel this is all my fault. My ex wife would still say she left because of me and the things I have done or said. For the record I didn’t cheat,ever. Didn’t drink,gamble or phy…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 06:58 PM
2

I appreciate your reply man, yeah agreed just trying to stack those little wins and not give her the head space. Have power over my thoughts and know they are all I control. We choose to suffer. Don’t let them break you down. 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 09:00 AM
1

Sorry dude, here if you wana talk more. The dreams come and go and eventually will leave. Put in the work 👍🏼💪🏼 you got this
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:58 AM
1

Sorry dude, here if you wana talk more. The dreams come and go and eventually will leave. Put in the work 👍🏼💪🏼 you got this
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:58 AM
3

This put a big smile on my face mate thank you. Your right I do get looked at differently but not for the worse. I’m work out,get dates and am a friendly dude. When I’m out with my two young boys I get some nice compliments and generosity from shop owners,cafes etc. Its all about rebuilding that self esteem again. To be more than you were and realise they lost you not the other way around. Thanks for the reminder man good luck to you as well. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 08:57 AM
2

Just keep doing your best man. Don’t beat yourself up too much, it’s good to take responsibility and accountability for things you may of done but forgive yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 10:02 PM
3

That’s awesome to hear. I love and am grateful for my two boys who light up my world anytime I have them. It’s her loss. Thank you for replying.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 09:58 PM
1

This helped me also. Was giving my ex and her new boyfriend way to much power in my head. Felt like marriage and being there for her meant absolutely nothing. She discarded me like o was trash. I’m slowly starting to believe I’m not trash.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:55 PM
1

Just read this today 2/09/24 Really helps, I have been struggling with guilt as she blamed my mood, being down, introverted, harsh words (arguing) All of it, no remorse from her,no guilt just pure blame. I’m in just past 2 years of being seperated/divorced and it’s getting a bit easier but that guilt eats away at my self esteem, why me, maybe if I had done x,y,z all playing over in my head. Finally starting to realise I’m not solely to blame. I apologised for what i did she never has. She left w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 02:31 PM
3

This is so so true. My ex was as always a 6 months- a year ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 12:45 PM
2

👆🏼This is the answer. I beat myself for so long. Now I look at my faults I have worked on. She still believes she has none. But that’s up to her and I can only control myself and my thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 01:24 PM
2

This is the way brother. Also OP if you can’t do this or feel this, fake it till you make it dude 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 01:22 PM
1

Yes I have and I’m going again on Monday after finding out last week when my ex message me to let me know she’s seeing someone and wants to introduce to our boys. Been a bit of mess this week at times other times feel invincible 🤯 very up then very down. Have had about 15 session over 2 years. They have helps a lot. Just a good place to go to feel relaxed and not judged.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 06:33 PM
3

Thank you for this I hope it helps OP a lot too. Your words are so encouraging. I’m two years out, a year since divorce and still feel very broken some days but I’m still fighting the dark demon in my thoughts and I know I can do this and move forward. Thank you, this page is one of my sanctuary’s to help heal and rebuild.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 06:20 PM
6

This is awesome and fires me up. I also was blamed for everything, I believed and sometimes sadly still believe in her words. They linger in my mind…but they pass and I look at my friends,family,work colleagues and realise I’m not a bad person. It’s amazing the power we give these wives/ex wives to destroy us. Take back your power guys ! Start you a new life. 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 06:17 PM
6

It will be ok man, happier takes time. Also fulfilment is more important In life than happiness, sometimes finding fulfilment means we have to suffer and go through pain. No one else on this earth can make you happy only you can find that within. People can come into your life and add happiness. Some can take it away but if you stay true to yourself, if you keep going no matter what life throws at you, eventually you will realise how strong you really are, what you can overcome and what wonderfu…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 05:57 PM
2

It will be ok. How are you feeling today ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 07:48 PM
6

I have had dreams of her being with someone else for a while on and off, maybe 5-6 times in total. Finally she has met someone and my greatest fear from the day she left 2 years ago is true. With help from friends,family and this group I have spent the last few days processing the fear of this now being reality. I will get back up and move forward even stronger than before. They don’t want you, they chose to be with another. The more you conquer the fears in reality the less you will dream or ha…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 11:16 AM
1

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 05:58 PM
2

I’m sorry you went through that man.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 05:43 PM
1

Nice man 😄
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 07:37 AM
2

Yeah agreed man. It hurts but it’s the truth. These are her choices no one else’s. Time for me to move on and just keep doing what I’m doing, self development, being the best dad I can be and not worry what others are doing. I haven’t shown her any jealousy or intrigue either I just said “great you have found someone, i feel it’s early to introduce the boys but I trust that you will always put their well being and safety first”. This was my response to her asking if I had read the message that s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 07:36 AM
1

Thank you that’s an inspiring read 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 05:30 AM
2

Thank you that’s so wonderful to read. I shall come here to re read all the great advice in bad times. It’s so nice to have a place where you feel completely understood by people who have walked the path.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:14 PM
4

oh man I loved streets of rage 4 it’s a great playthrough, especially with a friend. Hope you enjoy it 😊
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:08 PM
2

Nice advice, thank you 😊
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:06 PM
1

Glad you had a great weekend with them. Yeah it’s funny how we see them doing things they got us lured in with again with a new person. You know where it’s headed and we can just sit back and realise we were foolish to fall for it but take it as a lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:06 PM
2

Thank you for the kick up the ass. I needed it. You are right once they are done they are done. It’s crushing but it’s the truth. Always thought mine was different and would see my changes and want to try again. Boy was I wrong. As you say make a good thing with a woman who wants me not one who for the past 2 years has only caused pain,stress and suffering in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:01 PM
3

Stoic philosophy 101 this is the way 💪🏼 That sucks man. I hope your doing ok. They can’t cope on their own like we do most the time. That’s going to end in flames. You keep being a awesome dad and they will know that 😊
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:29 PM
2

I hope your doing ok also.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:27 PM
2

Thank you. Yes I have spent two years working on myself, looking at things I did wrong. She even said “you have changed so much,why did you wait until now” That hurt me as she still said it was too late. she said some awful things over the last two years when I was trying all I could to win her back. She has never taken accountability for her part and still says “I had to leave” gaslit me and belittled me, never respected my boundaries, said I didn’t support her enough. Some of this is maybe tru…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:26 PM
2

I’m so sorry brother. You aren’t alone here. You have the power to recover, same as me. Be a great dad and keep on moving forward. Always here if you need to chat.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:18 PM
2

Thank you they are my world and they fill it with joy everyday. I love to be around them and be a good role model to them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:17 PM
3

I also need to bury reconciliation. She’s never once hinted at it. She just went cold as ice and said “the switch flipped for her” 😞
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:16 PM
2

Thank you, sound advice.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:15 PM
3

I have done fairly well through the apps, but it never felt serious too me. Still had the ex on the pedestal and family unit and being the mother to my boys was everything to me so it took her to god status in my head which I know was wrong and very co dependent.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:14 PM
2

Tell us, I’m here to listen also
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 03:08 PM
5

A great outlook thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:42 PM
3

Thank you for your perspective it helps 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:05 PM
1

Thank you for your reply.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:01 PM
3

Love the bit about power over our thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:59 PM
4

This is incredibly accurate advice. You were right I always thought a little bit that we could be a family again. For her it was never ever an option and your completely right I would be a shell of a man if we had made another go of it. I was so depressed towards the end of the marriage and I didn’t even realised. in 2 years I have changed massively for the better I need to look at how far I have come and the betterment that has brought me. This is a stumbling block and a test for my resilience …
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:59 PM
3

Thank you. Managed to find some fight this afternoon (uk) Making a goals chart and trying to look at all the negatives from the marriage and that in the long run it was probably for the best. Even if she ended it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:43 PM
4

I feel like I went through these stages and had accepted it when we divorced last year. I suppose that tiny hope I had was still there but I was doing great. Enjoying life,dating etc. just feels like a proper gut punch to my progress hearing this from the ex. I said that’s great for her and I trust her to always put the boys needs first. Tried to be mature and neutral to it but inside I was crushed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:41 PM
2

Thank you. Never thought about it like that and I’m so used to her walking through any boundaries from the days of marriage I know she will do what she wants but as you say it doesn’t make me a bad person to not want him to meet my boys or be around them. I haven’t and won’t introduce them to anyone for a long time, they are only 2 and 5. Hopefully they will remember or know I always put their needs first. Thanks for your reply.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 06:39 AM
3

Really wise words.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 02:27 PM
3

Thank you for making me feel normal. It’s been a big shock yesterday receiving the message from her. Our boys are so young I just thought she would wait until their older.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 06:55 AM
2

I haven’t actually replied to the message as it seems more of a statement than a question from her. I’m not sure how long she has been seeing them but we agreed with each other a year before introducing but I guess she’s going to do what she wants to do. It was a shock for sure as we had been getting on well and doing odd things together with the boys. Makes me feel like my intuition is terrible.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:14 PM
4

This is the advice 👍🏼 I was on my way rebuilding this just hit me hard. It’s like the final fall of the veil as to who she is not what I believed her to be.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 10:11 PM
3

That’s savage man. I’m sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 10:09 PM
3

Thank you. I know strength and getting back to my feet is the only way forward here. Thanks for reminding me of that but also making the feeling of being hurt makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 10:07 PM
1

Fair point, most things in moderation are ok. I think it can just amplify for certain people.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 09:15 AM
1

Pleased to hear that. Sometimes I think I’m doing well with the co parenting and then she will just do something strange. It will be interesting to see how we both handle when one of the other gets a partner. I know it’s going to hurt but I don’t want to let it bother me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 08:14 PM
6

OP Your right in the thick of it now. I’m not going to lie, you are going to go through some horrible shit, then some more and then even more but I promise it will get better. I still hurt sometimes. The person you met 10 years ago no longer exists, accept this. Be strong around her, do not beg, plead or show high emotion. If you feel being overwhelmed in her presence, say “I’m really finding this hard right now, let’s talk another time” and remove yourself from her presence. Be cordial and kind…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 07:43 PM
2

Just curious how it’s changed to co parenting well ? Did she change ? Your change ? Genuine question
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 05:22 PM
2

What changed ?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 10:48 PM
2

Can partially agree on the casual thing. It was fun and I met some great and interesting women. Gave me a confidence boost and when your whole worlds just ended sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and do it anyway. Agree on the don’t get into anything serious OP just keep it casual. Know there are so many other women out there other than ex’s who don’t want us.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 09:15 PM
6

I did it, but wish I never did. I wasn’t ready, it was disrespectful too marriage but I felt so so low self esteem after being discarded by my ex wife. The best advice I can give is in the first year of separation/divorce is to make no major decisions if you really have to , take the time to really think about them and how that might affect the months/years ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 03:44 PM
1

Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:17 PM
2

Really appreciate your words 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:05 PM
2

Thank you that gave me a different outlook on it. I saw an interesting interview with Kevin Costner and a former navy seal turned podcaster . When asked what was the hardest thing each other had been through they both said Divorce with children. It kind of put it in perspective that two people both at the top of their careers classed that as the most pain they have ever been through. It did make me feel not so alone or ashamed in my thinking though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:01 PM
4

I don’t think he’s trying to encourage friendship between the parents and ex wife. It seems he’s trying to highlight how these women can just literally shut off and discard the good people who were around them. You are right about the ‘not expecting anything in return’ as we should do good just because it is the right thing to do. Sadly she sounds like a very selfish individual. OP just keep moving forward. Try not to dwell on what she does, as you have said she isn’t worth troubling your mind o…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 12:23 PM
3

No human on this earth can make another behave in a certain way. We were all born with the freedom to choose.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 10:07 AM
1

Glad your rebuilding bro 💪🏼 Keep up the positive mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 10:06 AM
8

Ditch social media. It’s no good for you,especially In your current situation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 07:59 AM
1

Awesome post man, thank you for replying.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:45 AM
1

Great post and thank you for taking the time to write it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:44 AM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:42 AM
2

Thanks for taking the time to reply, your post helps.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:40 AM
3

I’m two years on man, any advice for the dark days when it still hurts ?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 07:20 PM
2

But what’s your alternative ?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 09:00 PM
3

This is a hell of a post and so inspiring to me at age 40 starting over again. Been monk mode with life for 2 years and feel so much better for it. Still have shit days where I miss the ex but they are much fewer and I’m happy and grateful for a future being a good father,son, and friend.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 09:46 AM
2

Thanks man. I decided to do that. And got some nice gifts and cards from the boys. It’s such a shame it’s not a family unit event anymore as we had some great birthdays altogether but it is what it is. Thanks everyone for their advice
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 09:36 AM
6

Nice example your setting for your daughter 😊
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:03 PM
5

This is such a wonderful inspiring answer. I thought it strange I just wanted to be single after my divorce. My friends and family pushing me a little saying “we weren’t meant to be on our own” , “you will find someone” All I see around me 90 percent of the time is men on the verge of mental breakdown/high stress and anxiety over trying to please their partners. The other 10 percent are very lucky and have made a good relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 06:54 AM
1

This is very true OP Please listen to the advice. You are not alone in this. Stay strong champ. You can get through this. Imagine in 2 years where you will be, I know you have it in you to carry on and rebuild even better 😊
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:40 PM
3

Still struggle with this even after two years. Coming up a year divorced. The switch affect is insane she even admitted “a switch just went off for me”. 6 months before she left me her words were I love you to your bones, im so content and I love you. Now it’s like I’m a total stranger. I won’t ever understand it but I look how far I have come and I’m proud. OP don’t chase,beg or react to her. Just let it go and move on. It’s incredibly hard to do and I’m only really just getting there. It will …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:08 PM
2

Sorry to hear that man. Live free now and in peace ✌🏻
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 12:13 PM
1

In the UK you are more protected with your children if you are married to their mother. That’s the only reason I would tell my sons when they are older to get married, if they want children.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 09:56 AM
1

This is the way ! 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 03:54 PM
8

Well said OP This is a place of good solid advice. A place for us all who have been through or going through the nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 03:35 PM
4

You focus on your daughter and your own mental and physical health. This sounds savage but if she says she’s done,she’s done. Don’t chase,don’t beg. Treat her with empathy and be a good man but let it go. Just be the best you. If she comes back one day you won’t believe me now but you may not even want her. We don’t know what our ex wives are thinking or what they are going through it is also completely out of our control. What you can do though is control how you respond. Be good, strong, kind …
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 03:34 PM
1

This is really good advice and very similar to the guidelines I tried to follow when my 12 year LTR/marriage ended two years ago. Great advice 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 12:13 PM
6

You may be to blame for some of it, never all of it. You take 100 percent responsibility for your 50 percent. Look at what you may of done better and focus on improving those parts of yourself. We are all human and make mistakes. Don’t ever push yourself down and live in self pity. Your a good man for recognising your faults and trying to do something about them. This is self awareness and accountability, something hugely lacking in modern society. Be the good change and better your whole life. …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 10:04 AM
2

Surely we can take this higher this sub I’m pretty sure has helped stop people from taking there own life. There will always be good and bad view points in life, you can’t control other people’s opinions and it’s a dangerous path to go down if we try to do that. Always remember “we choose to be offended by something” It’s a sign of intelligence to ignore and not have an opinion on everything. If we don’t allow a place for people to share how they are feeling (even if that’s anger or hate filled)…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 09:58 AM
4

Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 08:08 PM
2

It’s ok man, il tell you something that I would struggle to admit in person. I started MMA a few months after separating. At the end of each session I got in my car to drive home and would cry, no fucking clue why, the lads at training were all sound. I look back now and think it was maybe the fact that I was so pumped for doing something new and then remembered I had no one to tell like my ex wife would of been the person I would of gone too and said how great I was enjoying it but she wasn’t t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 12:34 PM
13

Thank you for saying this. I made the changes originally for her, she said it was too late, what shocked me was I stuck to the changes and kept making even better ones. I want to be a man my two boys are proud of. Thank you again for reminding me that sometimes we need to be our biggest fan.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 07:58 PM
1

Agree with this. If she was getting it elsewhere she wouldn’t put the effort in. It’s when they go quiet and you think all is good. If you love this woman and value your family Unit. Get in shape, have some personal hygiene and show her that you hear her. If not face the reality of a broken home. I know which I would choose if I could go back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:54 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 05:28 PM
2

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:31 AM
1

Awesome words. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 06:31 AM
6

Slow and steady always makes wins. The ones who are left usually take longer to recover but recover better overall. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 05:36 PM
11

Sometimes your ahead,sometimes your behind. You really have to stop the comparison. Fight for yourself man ! Hit the gym, get some new clothes, get a new haircut. There’s so much you can do, but honestly and this is going to be my main point….. Looks Fade. When they are gone all that is left is the soul underneath. I’m not interested in looking good for anyone else than myself. Take pride in yourself. It will be ok man, you will get there but you gotta start the steps in the right direction..eve…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 03:47 PM
3

There’s a big thing at the moment that pushes men to take “absolute accountability” While this overall has good meaning behind it, it is not the reality. Taking accountability for your 50 percent of the marriage is the way to be, to be self aware and work on things you would like to improve and things you have learnt through mistakes made. Please don’t be to hard on yourself as that isn’t healthy either. Keep being the best you and know that if it wasn’t the things she complained about it would …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 10:35 AM
2

Get shut. Way to many issues you have highlighted.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 07:51 PM
8

What is sacred is your freedom to choose. That can never be taken from you. Never be broken or physically removed. Not all things are your fault but they are your responsibility. Don’t Expect anything from her people like that suffer eventually but that is not your problem to worry about. It will be ok man I’m two years out as well, your not alone in your thinking,anger and upset but we must choose to become better in every way. Try to focus on that and build yourself back. It will be ok 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 12:41 PM
0

Be a man and be gracious. Regardless of if she’s hurt you, cheated on you or abused you. No need to rub it in her face. Be the bigger person. Celebrating in my opinion is a little premature and immature. At some point you loved each other. Karma comes for all so understand that this could happen to you one day, would you really want to know someone you cared for deeply was celebrating removing you from their lives ? If it’s the right decision for you good but just move on with dignity and grace.…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 12:04 PM
2

Nice to hear Karma comes in the end. Hope was with mine 12 years married 7. I hope to be in a great place in 5 years. I’m two years out one of those divorced. Still hurts but I’m taking steps forward everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 09:48 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 09:42 PM
2

Thank you. 💪🏼☺️
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:32 PM
2

Appreciate the reply and taking the time to give some good advice. She denies she had/has it, just blamed me for everything and said it was my fault she left 🤷🏻‍♂️. Thank you I’m slowly doing this and it’s helping to move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 05:47 PM
5

Awesome to hear your take man, thank you. I’m getting my head down and cracking on with life, it’s hard at times but helps to know others have got there. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:14 PM
2

Appreciate your reply 😊
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:12 PM
4

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:11 PM
1

Wow great to hear someone who found another and made it work. It’s scares the shit out of me to be honest as things my ex wife said made me believe we would always be together and that it was unconditional love. Do you think post natal depression is a thing ? I guess even if it was she would be over it by now
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:07 PM
5

Hey man well first I’m really sorry this is happening but I promise further down the road you will be so much better, stay strong for your child and vent to close friends,family or on here if your hurting. You will be ok. If your going through hell keep going as they say. To be honest I’m in the UK so I’m not sure on a lot of laws outside of the UK. Me and my ex never went to court or mediation, I had to really let a lot go and there’s times where i know I could get more if I went to court but I…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:31 PM
2

Thank you I’m really trying, and the times we share as a four (me,ex and both children) are really hard to say no too but it’s just painful days later when I realise that is the past and not the reality. I’m sure it’s nice for our boys but right now I can’t handle anymore of it and I know it’s stopping me from moving on. I don’t think il ever understand why this has all happened but I can control how I choose to live the rest of my life. Sometimes feel so low odd days but at least now I know it …
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:25 PM
3

No worries man, how’s it going ?
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:16 PM
2

Appreciate your post, anymore advice on how to make this stick ? I seem to get drawn back in when I feel sorry for her. She was a good wife and I miss her but we had real communication problems, I’m half responsible for that. I just want to get to a place where I can just be nice/respectful but accept she never wants to be together again and I want to let go of my feelings for her. Minimal contact is helping,so is setting boundaries but it’s so hard when she blames me for everything but still Wa…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 07:37 PM
3

I think your making the right decisions. Take care of yourself and your children. Ignore the noise and what she says when you leave.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 07:14 PM
1

Really sorry to hear this dude, have you tried intervention for her ? Get all family and friends and say to her to get some help if it’s affecting everything, but if you truly see no way through it then best to leave it at that and start a new life. I wish you all the best man. Carry on being a great father and stay strong 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 07:00 PM
3

Like I said not here to judge and if you feel you have tried everything then I guess that’s it. What is she not taking responsibility for ?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 12:03 PM
3

While I’m pleased you feel good, I would strongly recommend you consider not divorcing. This sounds like temporary relief of a deeper problem. Your child/children will benefit a lot if you both try to Work through your problems and make it work. Does your wife love you ? Is she faithful ? I have dated a lot ! Trust me it’s a bleak landscape at times. Met some nice women but don’t think the grass is greener. I’m not here to judge man and you do you but surely it’s not worth it ?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 11:42 AM
6

It’s cool man I’m not judging and I hope it works for you. It must be hard for you to hear stuff from your boys, but your their dad and always will be. Personally for me I don’t want to bring another adult into their childhood. Whatever their mother does I can’t control so I have to let it go. She hasn’t yet. After 2 years we are both still single. She called me a Such a disappointment a few months ago and it got in my head a bit. So been just focusing on building myself back up.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 09:30 PM
7

I genuinely don’t see why people mix children with other adults(partners) and potentially their children. It may sound hypocritical but I don’t date single mothers. I don’t want to raise other children and I don’t want anyone raising mine. Not being harsh on anyone here these are my own personal views. It’s not that hard to stay on your own is it ? Until the children are grown up ? Or just date. Just always seems to make a big mess From what I have seen in general.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 09:24 PM
2

I’m really sorry to hear that man, I hope your doing ok now. Yes mine also offers no apologies, even when I have tried to offer mine. I just don’t get it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 06:17 PM
5

Hey man, if you feel ok too, would you say a little more ? Helps to know I’m not the only one.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 05:34 PM
10

One of my best friends said to me, “your giving her the luxuries of a husband and she has none of responsibilities of a wife.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 05:20 PM
2

Thanks man, nice to look at it from a different perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 05:18 PM
12

My wife left with what I believe was post natal depression or serious mental health issues. No infidelity on either side. She wanted me to change, I did, and she still wasn’t interested. “The switch went off” her words.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:28 PM
3

I hope this is true.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:26 PM
5

Exactly 💪🏼 This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 12:47 PM
3

You are right, it’s hard when the boys are like I want Daddy to sleep over or come in the house etc. they are 5 and 2 so they are just to young to understand. I agree with you though. She doesn’t have to feel the lose as I’m there for her when that is no longer my job.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 12:39 PM
2

Solid advice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 09:25 PM
3

Chin up mate, it takes time and the amount is different for everyone 💪🏼 you will get there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 09:28 AM
1

Completely agree. Yes OP you can go have a new relationship and for a year or two it will be great but then new or same problems will reappear. Believe me when I say there’s nothing out there that doesn’t have just as many problems as you have now. It’s about what you can put into it. At least if you try you will always know in your head and heart you gave it your all. Because I bet right now your not trying half as hard as you could. Get in shape, get some fresh threads and take your lady out. …
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 05:49 PM
4

Yeah she’s decent tbf George Bruno I also found helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 07:10 PM
2

This is the way 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 05:26 PM
5

Handled like a true hero.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 08:36 AM
12

Completely here with you dude. I will never understand her decision but as a man we can’t let another person dictate how we are feeling. Your focusing on the right things. It always comes back to bite them in the ass. You go out there in life and make it a good one mate 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 07:06 PM
3

That’s a good point I watched dune part 2 and then Furiosa with my brother so I try to make time for bros as well. Keep doing you man, time heals and we keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 09:56 PM
4

That’s really great man. Love the cinema. I actually put on dating sites asking if women want to just go watch a movie (usually after a drink) in more of a companionship way. It’s really nice chatting about the film after as well.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 06:31 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 10:42 AM
3

Ouch this hits hard when I look back at it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 10:07 AM
7

It’s ok man, we all have to learn hard lessons and it’s easy to miss the signs, now your smashing life and wiser 😊 goon on you 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 10:05 AM
1

Good stuff sounds like the foundations of Rebuilding. You can do this !
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/24 04:13 PM
1

That’s ok man, you stay strong. It will be ok. I have good days and bad days but I know it will pass in time. I don’t think I will ever understand her choices but I know that I can’t do anything about that and that is liberating. Take care 😊💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/24 04:07 PM
1

How are you doing now ?
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/24 03:44 PM
1

Great idea. Would be invaluable to many on here i think.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 09:27 PM
2

An intriguing way to look at it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:21 PM
1

It’s a real tough one because I feel the same about relationships but my two boys are the best and fulfilling part of my life. I love being with them even if it’s only 50/50 with the ex wife I will never regret having children. It helps you become a better less selfish human. If your happy though man then just keep doing you, nothing wrong with that. Maybe look at hobbies and clubs, spend time with your family. It’s important to make some small sacrifices of your own time other wise you can beco…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 09:47 AM
1

This could be you, reflect on how you might feel. There’s millions upon millions of single women out there. Leave this one alone and show respect to marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 10:30 AM
1

Reign yourself in bloke and be a man.. Stop all contact with this woman. Work BFF ? What the hell ! Are you a 20 year old white girl ? Seriously Either work on the marriage or divorce ! Then you are free to do as you want but don’t ever knowingly help destroy someone else’s life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 10:24 AM
6

Awesome stuff. A rallying cry for all divorced and downtrodden men.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 07:11 PM
2

Oh that’s an interesting thought. I know it’s inevitable and it will hurt a lot but I’m so tired of giving this woman so much power over my emotions, I wake up and tell myself, not today ! No longer will I let this person consume my thoughts and emotions, I’m in control of myself and how I think.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 01:56 PM
1

Completely agree.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 01:53 PM
3

Lego lion Knights castle and a took my boys,mum,dad and brother to Edinburgh for the Christmas markets 2022. I can never repay the support they gave me but I wanted to show them that I was grateful.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 01:51 PM
1

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 08:31 AM
2

Never say never. It is ok to be on our own though. We must rebuild our self esteem though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:29 PM
2

I’m really sorry you had to go through that and if that is how you feel and want to be there’s nothing wrong with that. I hope you enjoy the freedom and peace though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 08:23 PM
4

You are right and I feel I’m trying to die on a hill just to win a battle of “I didn’t want divorce so I will stay single to show the children that you(ex wife) wanted to this. We both had our faults and I have really really worked on mine(I still get blamed for all my shortcomings) but I don’t think I ever deserved her to destroy the family and marriage. I appreciate you taking the time to reply so thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:22 PM
6

She did, walked out with my 2 year old and our 8 week old. I see them a lot now (3 times a week). No one else involved on either side as far as I know,and it’s been 2 years now. Both of us still single.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:13 PM
2

I’m really impressed by your reply. It seems you have a good amount of understanding and not flying of the handle, I can understand why you would be pissed off. Sadly I think maybe it’s better for them to work through this themselves, that’s if they want too. They both love you very much I’m sure. Ps I really like the comment you made about your own children one day. I will be proud if my two boys think this way when they are grown. Look after yourself. ✌🏻
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:19 AM
6

First, don’t ever snoop through others private things. You have no right. You come across as a brat to be honest who needs to do some growing up. Your parents will have made sacrifices for you that you will never understand and you repay them by looking through their devices and casting your judgement, I think you need to probably speak to someone as to why you would break that level of personal invasion and trust. You wouldn’t like it if you had children one day and they did that. Sort yourself…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:05 AM
8

No man, I’m afraid. I’m all for fighting for a marriage and I tried damm hard. She sounds very confused. She’s had an affair, the abuse she’s claiming is nothing more than trying to appease her guilt for the affair. Please look after yourself and your daughters this is what’s important right now, let your future ex wife walk her own path. I’m so sorry this has happened but you can’t control other people. If you have offered to work on the marriage and she’s still not interested do not ask again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:05 PM
6

They will never admit it but most regret it, they can’t see past the current emotion. You doing what your doing 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 04:16 PM
18

Children, children are the difference for many. The loss of family to most men is the hardest thing to overcome. Especially when it was not your choice. Pleased your doing well,nice to hear a different perspective. pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 11:00 AM
3

Don’t you dare say you failed man, ever. The marriage failed, not you ! Let her have her cats and wine box as a sad old washed up old woman. You build the life you want. Men are builders,protectors,providers and leaders. Never let this very soft new society tell you otherwise. You deserve to take up space on this planet. Stay strong mate 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 11:50 AM
3

Love that man. When you spend the time learning and being the best human you can, it seems women just really aren’t worth the hassle. I’m so grateful I have my two boys but after my ex wife I really just don’t want another woman. When I have dated someone I can feel the stress and worries rising. I look after my parents,brother and my two boys.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 10:47 AM
3

The hero we deserve 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:29 PM
2

Lovely advice.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 08:49 AM
3

Daily Dad. Ryan holiday.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 08:48 AM
1

Completely agree with this. Take away others power over your emotions and you will live a happier more peaceful life. I miss my ex wife but I will never allow myself to become that codependent on someone again. Sadly it drove us further apart. Lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 09:38 PM
7

Some sound advice and some I would echo. You are now in charge of your life. You got this OP 💪🏼💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 07:22 PM
1

Don’t blame yourself, better yourself for you. It will be ok. Things do get better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:23 AM
1

Appreciate the kind words. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:22 AM
2

You too man, keep your chin up and just be a good man for you. I’m just having a rough week. If it makes you feel better in 2 years you will feel much much better but you will have the odd rough days,weeks etc. you got this dude 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 08:21 AM
1

Really solid advice. I catch myself doing that behaviour and then the disappointment when the situation or person doesn’t reciprocate. You are completely right. I think that’s the big monster i avoid sometimes is knowing the person she is, that we will never ever be back together. I don’t struggle to date and have had a fair few opportunities for a relationship but I just don’t want it. It’s easy to be my genuine self to new people but when im around my ex wife old habits die hard I guess ? Any …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 07:04 PM
1

Thank you for sharing, yes I often try to remind myself what she did when blowing up the family.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 06:51 PM
1

I hope so and yes I was very co-dependent on her when married. Not sure how to change that behaviour though, I guess time and being self aware
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 06:03 PM
2

You take it minute by minute,day by day,week by week. I used to think people were crazy telling me you will feel better and it will be ok… It genuinely did but right now batten down those hatches and hold fast it’s going to be turbulent for a while. I know you going to survive this and you will be better and stronger for it. Your Children need you don’t ever give up on them or life, grieve and and trust in the process. We all here have been where you are. We survived and so will you. Always D.M …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 01:54 PM
2

This is brilliant and caring advice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 01:51 PM
2

I always like the old saying. How could I hate women, my mums one ! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 07:09 PM
8

There’s an old saying. “A new broom sweeps clean”. It’s sounds like things weren’t great with your wife and if it’s divorce that you chose then here you are. I just think the girlfriend thing has disaster written all over it. Not here to judge you, just think right now you need to look after your family and your own mental Health.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:37 PM
7

It’s hard for me to condone your actions and then give advice. Trust me ditch the girlfriend and focus on the divorce. Out of respect for your wife and children.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:45 PM
7

This is hundered percent facts ! Makes me sick thinking that this behaviour is seen as the new ‘normal’ joke society.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:30 PM
1

A good point.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:27 PM
4

Yes hundred percent these are normal feelings. Keep doing day by day week by week. You might feel ready one day, you might not. You keep soldering on and being a brilliant father. Focus on yourself as cliche as that sounds. Time for hobbies,career,parenting,living. Spend time with friends and family. Always here for a chat if you feel rough.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:27 PM
2

Such a great outlook !
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 05:10 PM
7

I’m 2 years separated and 10 months divorced. It does get easier especially on a bad day I will remember how bad I was when she left. It hurts occasionally still but it’s so more easy to deal with as I know that sate of mind will pass. So here’s a few things I did to help myself. Counselling (solo). Low level anti depressants. Gym/MMA-get physically moving,strength and cardio. Friends and family-reach out maybe speak to Others who have been through this. This Reddit page- been so supportive and …
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 08:49 AM
6

Hmm I’m not sure what to say. I don’t think it’s a great idea what your doing but if it helps you move forward then so be it. You really really have to love yourself right now man. Don’t ever belittle yourself with a score on your looks. Keep working out, get a new wardrobe after getting in shape, go out and meet people in real life. I know it’s corny but you really only get one go at life so as of tomorrow start living your best one ! There will be someone out there for you. Kick that hoe to th…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 08:47 PM
6

It’s a sad thing for anyone to lose a parent but if you are divorced then don’t message. If separated you could maybe send a very short non emotional message. It’s hard as you don’t want to feel like a cold hearted prick but also as many said on here nothing can come of it and subconsciously you may be just wanting to reach out in any form. It’s a tricky one to decide. Just go with your gut.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 04:24 PM
11

Make sure she’s an absolute babe 😂
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 05:42 AM
5

Like a fucking OG 💪🏼💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 06:45 PM
2

Thank you for your input, I like the way you explained that and your right. Sometimes sitting in your own home,in peace and quite or doing fun things with your children is the epitome of a good life. Drama,ungratefulness,bitterness don’t belong in my life and definitely not my boys lives.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 07:27 AM
2

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 07:25 AM
4

Great advice thank you. Hope your therapy is going well.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 11:32 AM
2

“As the days go by”
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:17 AM
2

They live in delusion.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:07 AM
2

So nice to hear 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:05 AM
3

Hop your feeling ok. Chin up and I wish you peace and good fortune in your golden years.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:43 PM
4

Thank you. I hope you proceed with faith but also intelligent. Haha look out for those warning signs early. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:21 PM
3

Thank you. Smart advice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:04 PM
2

Thank you. While I do feel I’m through the worst of it there’s days I really miss what could of been as a family of four. Anyway as they say. “Her loss” Hope your doing ok man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:54 AM
2

Thank you. That’s really well worded. I appreciate the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:58 AM
3

Thank you 😊 They are 4 and 2 so still very little. It wasn’t there choice to have a broken family so I will give them all I can so they have the chance at living a good life
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:58 AM
2

I myself am looking at a tamiya RC car to build with my son I can do the more technical bits but he can have the fun side 😃
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:56 AM
3

Doesn’t make you any less a man to have trusted and been in love. Glad you have turned a corner and willing to look at a possible relationship one day. Look after yourself man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:53 AM
3

Thank you. Yes maybe something to process. It’s not even an attractiveness thing. She seems to hold power over them (other women) in my mind because she is the mother of my two boys and that’s the loss I feel the most..family
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:51 AM
2

Sounds like the dream my dude ✌🏻💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:50 AM
2

That’s ok man. You just keep doing what your doing. Remember modern society isn’t so keen on strong capable men. Go show them different 😊
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:27 AM
6

Yes had solo counselling/therapy for about 17 sessions over the course of two years. Was very helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:25 AM
5

Thanks you. Yes I feel the societal pressure. Must always remember to just be ourselves. Appreciate your comment :)
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:26 PM
6

Don’t feel shame. Your doing your best but you just need to get a little stricter. Children are young for a short time. It’s important you build a life of hobbies, passions, interests, friends and family. Keep going man. Oh and pack up the fags and booze !! They won’t help. Find other outlets. When you have an. Evening free Build something for your child ? Depending on age.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 06:33 PM
4

Never think you are doing wrong my fellow man. Doing wrong would be to marry her under pressure and then something worse affair/divorce happens down the line. You are making the right choice otherwise you wouldn’t of made it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 06:30 PM
9

First I wanted to be angry at this post. Then I looked at it and thought your only trying to give advice. I think there are a lot more issues and deeper issues with people. Yes men need to try and understand more but women maybe should communicate clearer and in a way that doesn’t come across as ungrateful or disrespectful. It’s hard, really hard to maintain a marriage my parents have been together 45 years and they love each other very much. I thought it was going to be easy once married and I …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 03:43 PM
4

This is an excellent comment
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 10:55 AM
13

OP She may not be having an affair or have someone else. It isn’t always true. What is true though is that sadly at this point it is over in her head and there isn’t a thing you can do to change that. She has to decide. If you approach her with something along the lines of “I know things haven’t been good between us and I’m sorry your feeling the way you do. I want you to be happy and if leaving this marriage is what you want then that is your choice. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to work …
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 07:26 AM
3

Good advice 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 09:36 AM
8

“Harnesses it, let it serve you” Kratos. I think your doing great to make sure you aren’t letting it out in negative ways. That takes discipline something most walk away wives know absolutely nothing about nor will they unitl it’s too late and and the kids have left them, their house stinks of cat piss and they can’t get low value men to even look at them. Please don’t pursue a girlfriend at this time that isn’t fair on them or you. Date, have sex but just don’t try to have anything serious. Ple…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 09:36 AM
3

Agree with the above post. It’s incredibly hard not to build resentment and anger towards the ex wife/partner. Let that anger fuel you into being an amazing Dad. Show them that you are there for them no matter what. Think of all the long distance lorry drivers,service men,on the road salesmen.. they all see their children just as little maybe even less sometimes. It’s the quality not the quantity. Show them what it is to be a good human with a strong moral compass and good values. Also and this …
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 05:13 AM
1

What a fantastic reply and certainly gave me some good pointers. I’m very sorry you had to go through all of that. I’m fortunate that there was no other involved and we are both still single. I think when she has a new partner and I see them with my boys it will be hard, no getting around that but it’s my choice how I respond to that. Thank you so much for replying. All the best from across the pond 👍🏼🇬🇧🇺🇸
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 07:27 AM
1

Thank you for replying really chuffed your doing well 😊
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 04:05 PM
1

How are you feeling now ?
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 03:36 PM
0

I don’t hate or dislike you. I don’t know you. ✌🏻👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 02:55 PM
2

Not angry just sad. Also respectfully this is a divorced men’s page. Please leave us in peace.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 01:07 PM
4

Thanks man. It’s does come in waves i think somedays I feel great and I’m so grateful for all I have in my life. Then I spend a little time around her and the boys altogether and it just drags up the feelings again. Hard choice as I know it’s not healthy to hold on to what once was and expect the other person to feel the same. At the end of the day that’s why we are divorced. They chose not to want to be a family unit anymore. We do the best we can with the life we now have. Positive mindset is …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 11:58 AM
8

Right there with you man. Wife is taking my two boys away end of this week on holiday with her twin sister(the devil 😂) We actually get on well enough and are friendly (send photos,share birthdays, can be in each others company etc) Like you I just don’t understand why ? Why don’t they want to still be a family. I think it’s best to understand how they feel is not in our control. I continue to be a good role model to my boys whilst still having healthy boundaries and the back bone to say no I do…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 11:42 AM
2

I would communicate and work through the problems. I made mistakes yes, I have worked on those. All I got was “the sparks gone,I dont Want you,it’s to late, this is all your fault, you caused this’ Complete lack of empathy or accountability. Selfish behaviour. Im not responsible for Someone else’s happiness. I tried to do the best I could as a husband and she told me it Wasn’t good enough. Marriage to me was for life. For her it was not. That’s as simple as it can be put.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 11:30 AM
3

But you still quit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 09:23 AM
2

Would you be ok to share some of the things that have helped you please ? I’m 9 months divorced 2 years separated and feel like somedays I haven’t got that far and other days feel really strong, a little up and down to be honest.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 07:02 AM
7

Yes completely agree. It’s been invaluable. I’m 9 months divorced, 2 years separated. Still have days where it hurts but this group really has been important to come too in those tough times. I hope I can offer the same guidance and help from my personal experience to make others who are new to this group feel like they are not fighting the battle on their own.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 08:57 PM
3

That’s good to hear. Just be the best man you can be. Your son will appreciate it in the years to come. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:12 PM
1

It will be ok man. Do not give up your time with your child. It sounds harsh but they truly do just settle into it. It takes time. Sounds like you are doing a great job for him and he will take time to adjust. I would limit your responses to your ex unless you two get on well, if that’s the case just say to her, how you are doing All you can and he will adjust with time and love.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:06 PM
1

Good now wait until they are grown and left until you get in another relationship. 15 years is nothing to wait. Date and have fun by all means but don’t bring another woman around your kids. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 05:32 PM
2

Well said 💪🏼☺️
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 05:26 PM
5

It’s ok,its ok you feel like this. I felt exactly the same and I promise it will pass. You are in shock and the very early stage of grief. Be kind to yourself. You will get through this. Lots of good men on here ready to listen if you need us.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 05:25 PM
5

Yeah feel the same way. Hope your doing ok. There is much more out there than chasing women. Find peace and contentment. I do have two children though so they provide me with a true purpose and no matter what I have been through with their mother I would never regret having them.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 09:33 PM
3

Haha love this, can not stand masculine acting women. It’s almost like the fear of clowns comes from the deception that they are someone else behind the mask. I view overly masculine women the same way.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 02:41 PM
3

Wow ! Your accountability and self awareness is refreshing. Wish you good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 08:05 PM
5

Wow love this comment and never looked at my actions like that. It is a type of nice guy manipulation. Something for me to think on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 07:40 AM
2

I appreciate your opinion. I have no burning desire for my ex wife but I would still want to try again if we could both be open too it. Marriage to me is more than personal desires. I do get where your coming from and maybe it’s more personal to everyone’s individual needs.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 07:31 AM
1

Fantastic post and very true
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 11:07 AM
3

Wow what you just wrote has made me look at my divorce really differently (she chose to leave) It was like pulling teeth getting her to have family unit time and I thought it was something I did wrong. I take full accountability for my shortcomings but she comes from a poor relationship with her father so i guess I should understand I would be treated no different.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 11:03 AM
5

Your a man it isn’t her job to fight for you. Please don’t take that as an insult but women won’t ever behave in that way. Your job is to lead the relationship or try to establish working on it. You have done this really well by the sounds of it. If you can truly say you have done all you can then be at peace brother. I know it hurts like hell but it will pass with time.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:54 AM
0

It’s ok man, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s normal you feel the way you do. That being said you need to learn to not get emotional with her. This is going to be challenging and frustrating. Jealously is a woman’s trait so channel into your masculine mindset. You don’t need to let another’s actions torment you. I guarantee there are many many women out there who would see your value. It is cliched but life really is short. I know from experience it’s so hard to let go but it happens with bab…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 09:19 PM
4

Lovely post and great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 03:09 PM
17

Wow reflecting on these answers hurts to know I was so naive in my thinking I could make the changes (after she started handing out the divorce ultimatum) even my family telling me I was more than enough. All that time she was using to prepare to leave and plan. Don’t be naive OP listen to these posts. I feel great shame in the fact I tried to change myself for someone who didn’t want me anyway. It’s crushing but in time you will rebuild and make yourself such a man that you get up everyday and …
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 08:05 AM
5

Hey brother It’s ok, it will be ok. Those words probably seem useless right now but 2 years ago i was in the thick of it like you. I won’t go into detail as this is about you,not me. I never believed those words “it will be ok” From my cousin when my wife left me with my 2 year old and 8 week old baby. I now see my children roughly 50/50 (this helps so make sure you fight like hell for them) 2 years out and I know he was right. It truly does get better but right now you have to hold fast, grab a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 11:54 AM
1

Being completely serious to your answer, is that true ? I’m really curious as she does show other narcissistic traits.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 09:15 PM
2

😂😂😂 oh man they always seem to find a way to get into the house
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 09:12 PM
1

Never give in man. You pick yourself up, dust yourself down, your a man. You are going to rebuild bigger and better. There’s always many friendly ears here if your struggling
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 10:59 PM
5

Just tell him, if you mess with my kids il put you in the fucking ground. Most people who threaten like this are usually pretty weak, he was probably bullied as a child and wants to be big man around your child. Don’t take shit from him but remain stoic and ignore him.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 05:32 PM
2

Yeah man that’s totally ok, just be you. Things sometimes come along but peace of mind and being in a good place is priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:09 PM
0

Grandmothers for the win
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 10:07 AM
1

It’s ok to feel that way. I feel the same. When my two boys are 18 I might consider a partner again. Right now I’m having a blast being the best dad I can be, working hard with career,health (mental and physical) and getting some good sex from nice women who I wont have to introduce to my children. It is better in my opinion to not bring other adults/step parents into your children’s lives. Some may feel different but we become what our values and beliefs are. Stay strong dude 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 10:06 AM
1

Love this 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 10:02 AM
1

Oh nice read a couple of Ryan holidays books and recently picked up the obstacle is the way, looking forward to starting it. He does one on being a father as well which I here is very good.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:11 AM
2

The Daily stoic Ryan Holiday.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:09 AM
1

So well put. Great advice 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:10 PM
8

Do not pursue this woman. Three kids ! Come on man, grow a set. Lots of great women out there for you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 09:29 AM
8

No, not here. This is where you can be however you need to be. No judgment. 💪🏼 You will be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 07:48 AM
1

Yeah found him really good. Definitely recommend too OP.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 10:19 AM
3

This is exactly the way I look at it. Thank you for articulating it in a clear and thoughtful way. I appreciate your reply.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 02:32 PM
2

It was the “I don’t want to upset you” comment. Felt condescending or fishing for if I still have feelings ? I miss my family unit everyday and for the most part we were a great couple. No affairs or cheating. I’m two years out now and at times miss her. We get on really well with the children and have done odd things as a family. She just still blames me for everything and I definitely could of done better in certain areas. Two years of self improvement and therapy have helped me massively. Som…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 08:26 AM
2

Nice advice. I just replied with “He never has asked me, I think for now it’s better if they speak with you about it”.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 08:23 AM
2

Hmmm i feel you being hard on yourself. You told them the truth. Teach them self respect and that you still chose to fight and stand for the marriage. No shame in that. Her choice. Not yours. I’m sure you played your part but you didn’t give up on it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 07:33 PM
5

Yeah had a lot of this while dating. Same old stories. Makes me feel sorry for the men and women who have been through proper domestic abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 02:16 PM
3

Nicely put. I agree with most of it. My Counseller wisely said, imagine the reality of what it would be like if you were back with her, not the fantasy, you would be going backwards. I know I’m a better person for what happened but I do miss having the family unit. I appreciate your advice on here though and it’s reassuring to hear someone looking at the positives.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 09:49 PM
2

Great advice 🙂💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 11:23 AM
3

A low level anti depressant which helps with anxiety and panic attacks. Helped me well along with counselling (solo). It’s ok OP this is a place for you to vent and feel good. Your not alone and know most of this is the natural process of a sep/divorce. Don’t ever feel ashamed or depressed, you are going through a great deal but it will end and shall pass. You are only here once don’t live a sad life because of someone else’s choices. Always here if you need to chat. Stay strong and keep going, …
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 08:44 AM
2

I know this story well and my experience has brought me here. My ex wife kept a score book on me, no joke. Dot for good behaviour dash for bad. All my family said when I told them is wow none of us would of made it past the first year with a system like that. I feel so hurt she would of done that and didn’t tell me until we were separated. I never stood a chance.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 04:29 PM
4

My man 💪🏼😄
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 04:17 PM
2

Buying things I maybe shouldn’t of but it’s part of the process as long as it doesn’t overtake your life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 08:33 AM
3

Love both of these points
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 03:10 PM
21

Also when a lot of them say they go “hiking and climbing” know that a good 80% of them couldn’t climb a flight of stairs 😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:47 AM
7

I have done relatively well in my time on them, but it’s hard to take them serious. There are a few decent women on there….but the majority are very self entitled and lack any type of self awareness. Also they are just pretty uninteresting all rambling on about travelling and finding themselves…drivel. It has helped rebuild my self esteem a little but a word of advice don’t take it to heart much if your rejected. Some will be on there forever holding out for something that doesn’t exist, a perfe…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 09:45 AM
1

Really good post and I appreciated the advice at the end.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 07:47 AM
9

Detach from her. It will destroy you and your relationship with your daughter if you don’t let go of your attachment to her. Eventually you will realise your own worth. No drama, no games. Be a man and walk away physically and emotionally from this woman. Contact to do with children only. Don’t get drawn in by her. She’s one of a million, not one in a million.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 06:16 PM
2

Amazing book ! The authors other work is also very good.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 09:58 PM
8

Your dads an inspiration to many on here. Thank you for sharing his story.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:04 PM
6

That’s savage man, hope your doing ok. They are delusional and will always regret it one day.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 11:17 AM
1

Keep working hard at your job, any other spare time try and look for other opportunities and what you would really like to do. Remember the children are only young for a short time so time with them is most important, might just have to stick with your job for a while to support the children 😊💪🏼 Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 10:11 AM
4

Just one day at a time man,one day at a time, one hour at a time,one minute at a time. You will get to where you want to be. It’s gona be a bit of a rollercoaster but you aren’t alone and many before you have done it. You got this dude 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 07:57 PM
7

I’m real sorry to hear that man but trust me that’s gona blow up bad for her 😂. You will become the better man and stronger. Don’t let her come creeping back either. She made her choice. Time for her to live with it. Take care and keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:41 PM
5

This is wonderful. Great your like that with your parents. Me and my dog are currently living at my parents while I rebuild financially and emotionally. I can never repay them for their support but I try by being present and helpful with money or time etc. have enjoyed watching a few series with them and me and my dad doing a few projects for my two children. The way I see it she lost just as much as me. I’m 39 From the UK Keep your chin up OP. Try joining clubs and getting out there as much as …
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:03 PM
2

Well said 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 07:51 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 11:45 AM
7

I’m divorced since August 2023. Separated since April 4th 2022. Should I be further ahead ? as still have days where I feel pretty shit.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 11:30 AM
12

Thank you. Having a tough day today and nice to read this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 11:05 AM
2

Sound advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 10:41 AM
1

Same here. Separated nearly two years, divorced 6 months.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 10:13 PM
1

Just grey rock that behaviour unless she openly says she wants to work on it. It sounds like she might want to give it a go ?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 04:35 PM
1

Thank you for your reply.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:55 PM
4

Yes welcome. Hope your feeling ok. Tom 39 UK
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 12:10 PM
2

Awesome you have accountability. It’s the best way to recover and get better. Even if they did awful things understand that there’s only one thing your in control of and that is you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 08:47 AM
4

Yeah I hear you bud, my ex sometimes has said why couldn’t you of been like this in the marriage, or I’m proud of you for your changes. I just don’t think they understand that suffering and pain is necessary for men to truly change and become better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 08:04 PM
2

Seriously please just leave us in peace. We have no quarrel with you. Be constructive or move on.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 07:24 PM
7

He will need you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 01:28 PM
15

How are you feeling right now. Talk to any of us. Never give up.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 03:30 PM
4

Get on a plane and get to that country. You have nothing left to lose. Pull yourself up. Pay for a ticket by any means necessary and fight for your children. It isn’t about you anymore, it’s about them and you should fight for them. Goood luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 12:08 PM
5

If I save this comment where does it go ? It’s. Fantastic and got my head fixed straight this morning.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 09:41 AM
1

How did they explain it ?
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 08:34 PM
2

If your in a relationship you should not be on them. Gona give you some though love here. leave her or come off them. No in between. Imagine if you were her and you found her on the apps.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 12:58 PM
2

This group is here. I know it’s not a physical support network but there’s good people on here who will listen. Stay strong things will and do get better. One day at a time, one step at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 12:39 PM
2

The daily stoic books by Ryan holiday are great and have helped me immensely.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 11:35 AM
1

No problem :)
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 08:11 PM
2

That’s great to hear. Sometimes posts on here are all people have to keep them Moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 08:11 PM
2

Man that’s rough ! Did it happen not long after the children came along ?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:02 PM
3

Care to share a little more ?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:01 PM
6

Sorry this happened to you man. Hope your finding this sub a good place to share rough times. Your not alone 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:01 PM
3

Check out Geoffrey Setiawan pretty decent advice on for the stage your at.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 04:38 PM
1

Haha yes ! Thanks for the heads up
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 01:07 PM
3

Solid advice. No rush especially when you have a child already. They should be full focus. By all means have fun but a full time woman in your life right now is not going to make things easy no matter how good they are.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 09:28 AM
5

This !
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 01:19 PM
1

Solid advice right here 💪🏼👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:32 PM
1

Good luck and god bless my friend. Nuke the bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 10:28 AM
2

Game is fucking awesome !
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 10:12 AM
5

Great advice and I’m kinda 50/50 at this point I miss that family unit but I don’t necessarily miss her. I think for now I should limit contact with her. It’s probably better if I’m 100 percent detached.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 10:20 AM
1

I think your completely right. If it’s brings you more peace to not be around you then that is actually better for you as a father. Hope your doing ok man.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 10:16 AM
1

Well said 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:57 PM
7

Never thought to do that for my boys. Thank you. Great advice they are only 2 and 4 so won’t be to embarrassed yet 😅😊
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:12 PM
4

Ok so I may have posted my list before but I hope some of these help you OP and I’m sure they reinforce what many say. • Know no matter what happened its not all your fault, take accountability for your 50% and move on. Don’t dwell on coulda,shoulda,woulda. It’s wasted energy. Energy better spent on becoming successful. •Invest your money if you have enough and get an emergency fund before investing,always. •workout, your mind and body need to be healed and in good condition. This will help have…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:09 PM
1

Thank you for the encouraging words. I will heed the advice 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:41 PM
5

OP Thank you so much. I turn 40 this year (November) been divorced since August 2023. Not my choice so it’s been very painful. I’m getting there slowly and completely agree with you. I lived on the fact that my marriage and relationship defined everything I was. I felt worthless, a failure, a disappointment every time I thought about why my ex wife left. She even told me I was a disappointment and that she’s the happiest she’s ever been. That hurt a lot but I know that it is not under my control…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:29 AM
2

That’s inspiring to hear. Thank you 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:57 PM
2

Thank you for saying that. I hope to reach that stage of complete indifference. Finding it hard to see the point in another relationship again, how did that go for you ? Dating,second marriages?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 12:30 PM
2

Sorry to hear that. I think it’s incredibly hard to do and sometimes it’s sad when I look that actually we get on well and could of worked through it. She felt different so I have to move on and let that go.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:23 PM
5

Top advice here 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 11:51 AM
5

Agreed. Marriage is to have children. If not it can be a fools errand. Respect for those couples who make it through but it really isn’t for everyone and it should stop being pushed down men’s throats to guilt trip them into losing half or more of everything.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 11:39 AM
6

Really nicely put. Marriage we knew is gone. I truly think it is better after one go at it to focus more on self and children if you have them. Live a drama free life and enjoy. 😊
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 11:37 AM
2

Hmm for me I think it’s part of them getting everything aligned, organised for when they leave.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 10:25 PM
1

Of the ones I have dated 90 percent had the same old story. Even when I asked them if they had grown,learnt or been accountable for their part they just laughed or got angry at me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 10:20 PM
2

That is awful. What is wrong with people.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 09:56 PM
5

Writing of the wills is a big indicator of wife looking to leave, not always but I know a few people who this happened to including myself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:57 PM
7

Remember the old saying my friend. “What Sarah says about Rosie,says more about Sarah than Rosie.” You can use any name etc. Be the stoic man don’t let her gas light and manipulate. Actions show character,not words. You got this OP Chin up and keep moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:04 PM
2

Really hurt me if I’m Honest. I know I’m a decent man but she just says the worse things when we get in to discussions about children etc
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 09:16 AM
2

Yeah that’s been advice from family. She called me a disappointment and that I ok sometimes in the marriage and not others.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 09:15 AM
1

😂😂 true
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:23 PM
2

Clear and concise,thank you for the good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:23 PM
2

Thank you that’s a good way to look at it. The old emotions stirred a little and this is coming off of seeing her on dating sight last month. Think it had just built up. Stil working on a stoic mindset. Thanks for the reply
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 03:55 PM
3

Completely agree.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:42 PM
1

No sorry man I meant as in my 2 year old being allowed to stay over with me and his brother (4 year old)
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:41 PM
2

I think you summed it up right there. “She just knows how to get the worst out of me” Like I wrote it myself. So sad to everyone else we are good people then around our ex’s they just push the buttons.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:40 PM
5

So sorry to hear that man. It will be ok. Focus on you and the children. It’s her way of coping. She will end up sad,alone and a life full of drama. Social media isn’t an accurate depiction of that persons real life. Continue training to let go. You got this man 👍🏼💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:31 PM
3

Great advice thank you. I think I underestimated that there was still feelings. We are divorced since august and I’m still Blamed for the ending of The marriage. It’s been hard which I’m sure Everyone will agree the process isn’t easy. Still one bad day doesn’t determine forever.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:27 PM
3

Good advice thank you
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 11:04 PM
3

This is something you don’t have to think or worry about anymore mate. Let her go and you will find strength you never knew you had.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 11:01 PM
3

Wonderful words thank you 🙏🏻
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 09:11 PM
3

Sorry to hear that man. Those people are low and dishonest. You are not that. It’s their weakness not yours. Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 07:39 PM
9

I’m sorry you have got into this situation. So hard not to let the emotions take control. But you must practice this and keep practicing it until it is your natural response. Keep going with grey rock. You don’t have to be nasty or cruel just indifferent. Only comms about the kids. No need for anything else. It does read like she’s trying to goad or trick you into chasing her. Just keep your distance and keep strong boundaries. I know you can do this OP Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 07:21 PM
7

Thanks for the good advice. It’s appreciated and I agree with the relapse feeling.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 07:10 PM
3

Thank you 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:45 PM
4

I’m sorry that happened man. I suppose the important thing is we are self aware of it, that way we can only continue to improve on it. Thanks for the reply
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:45 PM
1

I’m Lincolnshire based and would be happy to participate.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 04:09 PM
1

Nice to hear I’m not alone in this thinking I thought there was something wrong with me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 12:08 PM
3

Don’t do that. It is not the answer. Please call someone and get help. You were given the greatest gift of life. You are a fighter wether you believe it or not. You deserve to take up space here on earth. Don’t ever let another human make you feel like you don’t belong here. Please do this for yourself. Seek help.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 09:31 PM
1

It’s funny but i haven’t been able to listen to much current chart music it’s all so depressing to listen too about love etc. I prefer movie scores and instrumental/classical music. Never realised most lyrics are about relationships etc 😂
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:44 PM
14

“What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger”. 18 months ago this would of seemed just another quote or saying people said. I stand here today in life because my divorce didn’t kill me. It won’t kill you either. It might feel like it somedays even weeks…..But I promise you she has started you on a path where you will be stronger than you have ever been. When you get through the other side of what your going through you will see just how valuable you are. Don’t ever chase someone who doesn’t see your…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 10:48 PM
4

Well OP not Going to lie it’s hard and will continue to be hard for some time. The fact you have good days shows you are healing. The process will happen and gradually the good days will get more and the bad days less, I promise you this. You just have to literally take it a day at a time. Let her have her silly fantasy I have never known anyone where karma didn’t come for them in some form in the future. You will be loved again and you will be a better version than you have ever been, but you m…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:11 PM
2

April was the day my ex wife left too. Right here with you dude. Glad the nightmares are less.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:07 PM
2

Thank you. I feel I’m on the right but I don’t think I realise just how bad I got with being codependent on my ex wife. A lot of that was on me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:05 PM
2

The first one here rings very true. If she doesn’t respect her Dad she won’t respect you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:02 PM
2

Thank you for the reply. Sadly I she doesn’t want to try again and I don’t see that changing any time soon but nice to hear of someone giving it a go. Good luck man
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 02:40 PM
2

Really great to hear you are trying again. I was similar with mine, no cheating just terrible communication on both our parts. We are divorced but I would always be willing to try again. Does that make me unable to move on ? I’m confused on advice I have received I don’t want to be horrible to her but it’s hard when we take the kids out for birthdays etc together.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 01:01 PM
4

Also very normal to miss someone when we are feeling rough or sick. Sounds brutal but learn to be your own saviour. There will be others who care about you but first and foremost look after yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 12:57 PM
8

It’s will be ok man. Keep going and embracing the process. The stages aren’t always in order and they can come at different times. You are alive and you will be ok. Yesterday I was stuck in difficult thoughts about my ex wife( divorced since august 2023) It happens. Just know that the feelings will pass and that good days will come again. Try practicing little bits of gratitude for what you do have . As a stoic man I view my ex wife as just a person I could not make happy and that better opportu…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 12:56 PM
3

Nice work OP !
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 09:54 PM
2

Oh what you going for ? I currently have a few on rotation.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 09:54 PM
1

Thank you for this. Struggling today but I stop myself and say… “I could of never made that person happy”. I tried to be the very best I could for her Gave her a home, children and stability. Now it’s me and my boys and my precious friends and family. Parents and brother. Gotta find that peace. I feel it many days but the codependency keeps coming back to bite me a little. Still early days at the moment. Thanks again for the inspiration
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 03:51 PM
1

I’m struggling a little, Any advice ? Been divorced since august 2023
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 03:43 PM
1

This comment rings true. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 10:27 AM
5

Great to hear. You are being a good father. It seems your son realises this as well. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 10:13 AM
5

Yeah I have read about the oneitis and I was definitely guilty of it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 10:21 PM
1

I will go check that out 😅
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:32 PM
2

That definitely resonates and thanks for taking the time to reply.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:31 PM
3

Thanks for the reading material recommendations 😊
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:30 PM
3

Thank you so much. I will heed the good advice. Think I have just been having one of those down days they come and go and hopefully they will get to a point where they are rare. I think there’s definitely feelings of not being good enough from what she has said to me post divorce/separation. Told me it was the best decision she ever made, that my parents would be ashamed of me, that I was an absent father and that she had been keeping a book like a score book of when I did good and bad things. T…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:29 PM
4

It’s ok man, it happens. Maybe try and work on why you attract that type of person ? I just seem to need to be a fixer and probably one of The worst things you can do even though it feels right to me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:24 PM
5

I didn’t think much of it and maybe she was just trying to be kind picking me up but there was definite signs early on that I didn’t see. Just painful looking back sometimes realising i just didn’t see Things as they were
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:22 PM
7

Nope. She picked me up from the club at 2:00 in the morning. Should of seen the controlling behaviour right there. I would of never cheated anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 07:49 PM
4

Thank you that’s a good answer. I’m listening to no more Mr nice guy by Robert glover which so far has some good ideas. I think it’s hard finding the balance between not being a door mat and being an asshole. I try to put boundaries in place which has helped me so far. Been with a lot of women since divorce but I know deep down I’m a loyal long term man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 02:38 PM
1

Well said 😊 and thank you for your ideas I’m Trying to implement some of these. I try not to blame her as I played my part too. Just wish I could understand more.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 10:01 PM
1

Completely agree. Life’s hard sometimes..but not all the time. Savour the good, learn and grow from the bad. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 12:17 AM
1

Do you see your daughter a lot ? My two boys are still so young 2 and 4 and I’m worried we won’t have the relationship we would of had in a married household. I see them 2-3 times a week so I’m full Invested, guess it’s just some insecurities I need to work on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 05:16 PM
1

Simple words but…thank you. Some days still really really hurt and I don’t think il ever understand why she left. 18 months ago She left when my second child was 8 weeks old. No Affairs, no cheating on either side. I was devastated. I’m lucky I see my two Boys a good amount. Not quite 50/50 but still good because of My work. I’m trying to do all the right things and she kinda lit a fire in me that I now feel I can literally get through anything now. I try not to ruminate on what could of been as…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 05:10 PM
3

Sometimes weathering the storm is enough mate. Well done,keep on going 💪🏼😀
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 11:18 AM
2

So true man. I was also fortunate not to get absolutely crushed. We split our assets 50/50. She was funny about the children to Start with but when she realised she wouldn’t win in court for child custody she calmed down and we get on well enough for the children. Still Sad some days when I think About the loss of the family unit. Knowing it was never my choice does help a little but I just focus on me and my boys now. 😊💪🏼👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 11:16 AM
5

Best reply right here. Very similar points in my mind will list them later 👍🏼💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 02:32 PM
2

Hmm I see. Well just take of yourself man. Only you can make the choice. If there’s kids involved it might be worth it but it would take some major work from you both.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:15 PM
1

So she’s remarried in that time ? That’s mental ! 😅 I’m a romantic but please move slow if you choose this. Please also don’t become an affair partner ?? Has she left her current husband
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 04:21 PM
2

Awesome man glad your enjoying that new life and making the most of it. Keep moving forward 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 10:26 PM
2

Really nice answer mate as I was worried about having a small place once I can afford to move out from my parents.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 07:50 PM
2

Nicely broken down. Having a rough end to today. This helps knowing others have got through rough times. But tough times make tough men. Keep going, getting to a stage now Where I just miss my two boys not the ex wife. Which is small progress but still progress. Hope everyone is doing ok.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 07:22 PM
3

Have a wank or get a escort. No shame in it. You have a answered your own questions and made some good points. Just remember there might be someone good out there. Just gotta be strict with your boundaries. And remember you have faults too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 12:02 PM
13

The true masculine man’s way. Let them play their little games if they don’t want you let them go with the coldness they have shown you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 09:18 AM
2

This is the way. The only way. Head this advice struggler.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 11:24 AM
3

A great all round comment with good introspection on both parties involved. I was guilty of the getting lazy to comfortable. But god damm gotta say the divorce and blindsiding lit a fire in me that I use everyday to work harder,be kinder,appreciate my children/family/friends,enjoy hobbies and life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:20 AM
6

Your job is to stay together for the children right now. Be grateful you have the things you do have in life right now. There’s nothing better out there for you. Live in the present and make the most of your money,health,children and partner. When there older(children) if your still not happy then do something
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 10:44 AM
1

Perfectly put man. I’m getting there. Hopefully get my own place this year 2024. I hope Things are still good for you. It’s posts like this that show me life can be good again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 07:53 AM
7

Inspiring stuff mate 💪🏼😊 thanks for the positivity !
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 06:34 AM
5

Thanks man. Your so right. Went on a date with a gorgeous 29 year old the other day I’m 39. We got on great and are planning to meet again. I’m honest with her about it’s just casual at the moment I’m not ready for full on yet.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 07:56 AM
2

Sorry you still went through that. Glad your doing well. 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:24 AM
2

A good perspective thank you. “Memento mori” is a stoic favourite quote of mine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:23 AM
1

😂 thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:21 AM
2

Well said. And thank you 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:20 AM
5

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 06:20 AM
5

Sorry that happened to you man. Your right just let them go.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:51 PM
10

😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:30 PM
1

Great quote ! 😊
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:03 PM
5

Thank you. Haha definitely a top A+ show. Trying to do all the right things. I know it will take time. Can’t say I like the idea of her with anyone but to be honest I look back and think of all the manipulative things she did and her daddy issues. 12 years I gave and ignored things I shouldn’t. In many ways I’m more angry at myself for not seeing the issues.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 11:01 PM
7

I didn’t read her profile I just quickly swiped it away. I think your right though. The person you thought they were. They are not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:56 PM
1

Sorry to hear that man. Your not alone here. Always reach out if you wana vent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:27 PM
1

💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:26 PM
14

Literally just deleted them. Gotta keep focused on my boys,gym,reading,career and hobbies. Keep moving forward not dwelling on someone else’s opinion of me. It’s tough feeling unwanted by the person you gave your all too. Thanks for your reply man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:24 PM
7

Thank you for your words sounds like your doing better now man. Well done for working through it. 💪🏼 I will take heed on the advice
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:15 PM
12

Thanks man Sat watching band of brothers in bed after a good gym session and doing my coursework. Bettering yourself is the only way forward. “She was never mine, it was just my turn”
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:13 PM
6

😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:12 PM
2

Thank you ☺️
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:11 PM
3

Thanks for your reply man. I appreciate it. Good advice. Yeah should get of them tbf. I’m trying to do all the other right things and want to travel. I think what hurts more is worrying who she may bring around the kids. Not so fussed about her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 10:11 PM
3

Thanks for your message man. Hope your in a good place now. I appreciate the advice.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:13 PM
7

😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:33 PM
1

Thank you for the support. This group really helps.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:29 PM
3

While this is hard you are completely right. I have been grey rock for over a month with her now and it’s helped a lot. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:29 PM
2

😂😂 very true
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:28 PM
2

Great advice thank you 😊
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:28 PM
3

Yes agreed man. Totally. Just stung a bit as you said. I think it’s that feeling in your stomach that you know it’s a point of no return.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:27 PM
6

Thanks man 😊
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:26 PM
6

Yes I did very quickly. As I said I don’t want to be a hypocrite just was shocked I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 08:26 PM
3

Thank you for your reply. Sorry you have been through that man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:24 PM
4

Thank you. Took some deep breaths and cracked on with my evening (UK 👋🏼) It was tough to see but it would be hypocritical to judge as I’m on there as well.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:23 PM
11

I would maybe just slow down a bit dude. Your trying to move way to fast. The apologies from your ex will Probably never happen. I hate saying that but she’s your ex now. Be at peace focus on being a great dad and just take it one day at a time,one step at a time. Keep up with your hobbies,spend time with loved ones and be grateful to see your children that much. There are always others in far worse Positions learn this well and it will help you have a better perspective on life. What happened t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:48 PM
2

Man I thought I was the only one. I just have dated so much over the last 12 months and for me they just don’t add anything. Yeah sure might be the walls built after Divorce or it could just be being aware that I don’t really need that in my life ever again. The greatest thing is though I now know it’s my choice which path I walk down.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:27 PM
8

I understand how you reached that point but for me right now I just feel she can manipulate my kindness too easily as it was in the marriage. Thank you for your comment.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 10:44 PM
3

My mum told me to melt it down forge into something new. I felt like Tywin Lannister from game of thrones melting the stark sword down 😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 07:25 PM
16

To fail is to live. To get back up again shows true strength. You got this man. Get up and don’t ever give up. You aren’t alone. 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 12:30 PM
3

Avoid co workers my man. It’s your choice but never seen anything good really come of that. Maybe I’m wrong. Good luck out there though. 😊💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 10:41 AM
2

Love that quote !
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 10:40 AM
8

Very similar situation. 12 years thrown away by her but I hold myself accountable for my half of the problems. Your doing great OP Sounds like your focused on all the right things. Remember how important your peace is in moments of solitude. It’s normal you should miss company so I understand but don’t let that be the only reason to start another relationship. There is growth in solitude. Keep going man. Keep busy. Dating is not a bad idea and will give you company but just move slowly 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 10:39 AM
6

Haha I’m currently at home with parents rebuilding my life. It’s hard man I know it is. If she’s aware of your situation could you suggest going to hers ? How about making it special with a meal and hotel if you can afford it. Hope your doing ok. No shame in being at your parents. It’s a lot to get through and one day you will be grateful hopefully of the time you had with them 😊
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 07:40 PM
4

A nice positive post. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 08:36 PM
2

Agreed man and seriously speaking sounds like your a great dad 😊💪🏼 stay strong. Life will be good again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 12:00 AM
2

Give me a few hundred quid and il deal with him 😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 10:24 PM
5

I can understand why you stumbled. It’s ok I’m Sure it’s happened to most on here. Right now just take a moment, ask yourself where this thinking gets you…pain I’m guessing. I know it’s hard but if you treat her like a fire that burnt you, this teaches you not to put your hand back in the fire. Try not to be mad at yourself for feeling these things. It’s normal. Stumble,fall,fail a little. It’s all part of the healing process and it Will make you stronger than you have ever been. Know that it’s …
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 06:52 PM
7

Ryan holidays books are great. There’s one on being a father too. Well worth a read. 💪🏼😊
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 03:11 PM
1

But that’s what a man does, he just bares up and does it because he is a man.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 09:16 PM
3

‘Boys mum’
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:45 PM
5

Meet people but take it slow. Sleep with an extra pillow. Sounds soft but it helps. Don’t rush head on into another thing. Enjoy peace and find happiness in that. Be a great father if you have kids. This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:44 PM
3

Man I hear that. My ex wife came from a broken home with bad daddy issues. Always first to flea from any difficult discussions. It was so difficult to communicate with her. Now I’m a grey rock to her but focus on being a brilliant dad.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 04:59 PM
2

It will all be ok dude. Trust me I felt and did the same behaviours no shame in fighting for your marriage. But really focus on you and creating space to heal and rebuild. There’s always help and guidance around you and within you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 12:33 PM
2

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 09:27 PM
3

Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 09:26 PM
12

First I changed for her, then I changed for myself,then I didn’t want her back. I’m civil around our children and just don’t react to any of her behaviours. The best way is to limit contact and rebuild yourself. I promise you will feel better. Trying to salvage or be overly friendly with her will only hurt one person..you. Respect yourself, be a great Dad and move forward.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 09:24 PM
11

I can’t imagine how hard that was to hear about your situation. They are not your family anymore. It’s awful to think about but you did the right thing. Make sure you keep busy. See this as a new start and you get to choose what you do next, there’s excitement and wonder in the future. You could end up having an amazing family one day, you could stay single and enjoy your hobbies and travel. You have so many amazing options out there. Never give up because of someone’s poor behaviour. It’s their…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 03:48 PM
12

I’m going to say this with love and care. She doesn’t want you. Have self respect for yourself and move away from her (emotionally). Your teaching your children this behaviour is ok. Which it isn’t. It hurts like hell but it’s better for you to have separate christmas or if your together at least don’t talk to about anything. That can be done with txt messaging or email after Christmas. This is cruel on her part to hurt you like this wether it’s intentional I don’t know. But I would not put myse…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:38 PM
2

Fair enough man as long as your being safe 😉 and enjoy your self. Merry Christmas 🎄
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 05:55 PM
7

Ditch the clubs and try meet genuine women the other way or if you just want sex be honest with that. Drinking and clubbing are for the teens. As a man it’s time to leave that shithole world behind. Sounds like everything else your doing is great though. Keep up the rest of the hard work,you got this. You didn’t lose anything as that’s not a good human being the way she behaved. Wish her well and go full grey rock with her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:36 PM
2

You have a great outlook and that’s inspiring. Keep up the work man your daughter will always be proud of you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 09:57 AM
2

Stoicism is the best reading and has helped me immensely
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 06:28 PM
7

Be glad she’s gone. I know that’s really really difficult but it will get easier. Respect yourself my friend. Learn why you have been attracted to women like this. You are a better man than you believe. Keep your chin up and never ever give in. Here if you need to talk.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 08:50 AM
2

Thank you. Pretty much how I feel and how I live right now. Glad to not feel alone in this thinking.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 07:59 AM
2

Nice advice thank you. And your right.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 10:15 PM
1

OP I’m here,many of us are here. You are never alone. Just keep talking to people. It will be ok. I promise you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 10:12 PM
2

Always here if your having a rough day. I’m 18 months separated and divorce was final in august. It gets easier mate. Keep your chin up and keep improving yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:57 PM
2

AITA ?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:55 PM
2

Great advice thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:53 PM
3

Good lad 😉 you enjoy. Glad your honest about it. Nothing wrong with fwb then.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:14 PM
1

Yeah agreed about not pursuing anything. It isn’t fair on the other person either.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:12 PM
3

Thank you for the comment I appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:12 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 04:17 PM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 12:38 PM
4

This is my thoughts as well dude. Glad I’m not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 12:37 PM
2

I can empathise the first break up being a divorce. It’s devastating but you will feel stronger. It just takes time and the realisation you must be a great guy because your only relationship turned into a marriage. That takes a lot of people a hell of a lot of work sometimes. Hopefully the marriage even though it ended showed you areas you can work on and things you wouldn’t want in another partner. Hope your doing ok. Keep moving forward you will get there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:31 AM
6

A true masculine answer on all fronts. Compassion,empathy but strong. I like that 🙂💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:02 PM
9

Merry Christmas 💪🏼😊 remember women love dogs until they have children 😂
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 10:27 AM
3

Here for all the blokes struggling. DM if your feeling low. We can and will get through dark days. Don’t let the black dog catch you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:32 AM
8

If you believe that then that is good. But just go slow man ! We all just say these things from a place of concern and protection. I hope it goes the way you want it to. All The luck to you 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:30 AM
7

This comment all day long. OP really chuffed you had a great night. But stay focused on you and children if you have them. Build yourself better than you have ever been. Remember the best revenge is to not be like them. I hope the new lady turns into something worthwhile of your time and effort. Lead,show you are not afraid to walk away and treat her with kindness and respect but most importantly respect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:28 AM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 08:47 AM
15

This is so well timed. Thank you. Feel I’m just in such a state of rage,anger and disappointment after being discarded by my ex wife like dirt from a shoe. I look to my parents of what a role model couple are (they have been together for over 40 years). I have to admit some fear, fear that modern women just aren’t worth it or that I’m Not cut out to make it work with one. My ex wife left me with a very low opinion of my self and while I’m Rebuilding well sometimes it’s hard to see a reason to be…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 08:35 AM
2

Fantastic to here mate ! Glad your getting the kids into chilled Bob 😄
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 06:37 PM
3

Well said mate ! It definitely does not define you. Keep moving forward and doing well 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 06:36 PM
2

One day at a time man,one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 01:33 PM
1

Of course 😊
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 06:27 AM
1

For the first time in months (2022) after my ex wife left me, I was able to focus for One whole hour. Every trouble I had disappeared. This hour was my very first MMA class. Do it, stick with it and enjoy it. Don’t be afraid to go it helps a lot. Go for it 💪🏼😄
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 10:52 PM
7

My god this really makes so much sense now looking back. Wife left with our second child when he was only 8 weeks old. Traumatic awful birth( both nearly didn’t make it) First whole month I took off work to look after them and our eldest son. Another month later she’s leaving as didn’t feel supported and said I didn’t do enough. I wish she could see that she was and is still in a terrible way. Such a sad sad thing but what you have written is very true. She even said “a switch” just flicked for …
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:22 AM
2

😂 love it. My Ex wife last week rang to say she would be late picking the boys up or could I bring them to her work as her car wouldn’t start. I said “il come over with the boys and show the eldest how to jump start a car” she didn’t seem to sure about this as he’s only 5 but wasn’t going to let him touch anything. So I drive over with my boys and before I put the jump leads on I try The ignition…. Car starts straight away 😂 Very strange.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:10 AM
1

Ah hey neighbour 😄 I’m Lincolnshire based Really like Norwich and Norfolk. Thanks for the words 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:52 AM
1

Beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:49 AM
1

Thank you 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:48 AM
3

Would you like to meet and settle the grievance you have with me in person. You seem to find others grief funny ?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:58 AM
2

Thank you. 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:53 AM
1

Yes you are maybe right. Maybe not.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:53 AM
1

Glad you made big changes for YOU ! Here if you ever need to chat. Thanks for the reply.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:59 AM
2

Hope your doing ok. Here if you need to vent. Thanks for the reply.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:56 AM
1

This is extremely well put thank you. I hope to have the opportunity to say this to her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:54 AM
1

Agreed, thanks for replying.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:53 AM
1

I think this is an aspect I could of done better with and I do take responsibility for that. We were both bad at communicating and I just struggled when she said it was me all the time who needed help or to change. I have an amazing relationship now with my two boys and I teach them discipline but with kindness and empathy. My actions were always very kind but I guess my words sometimes could of been better explained etc. sad thing is when we have done things together now with the boys we get on…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 07:51 AM
3

Here for you to brother 💪🏼
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:36 AM
3

Thank you so much for a very informative and inspiring reply. Yes I feel she definitely missed the ‘honeymoon period’ We went through a lot with Miscarriages and two difficult births. I know I would of always worked through it all. I hope to find that deep love one day or at least have it reciprocated.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 12:04 AM
6

Thanks for replying. You have raised some really good points and many of those ring true. You have explained them in a clear way which is easier to understand. Thank you. I never felt good enough sadly and she has some serious issues with her dad she never addressed so I got labelled as being an absent father when I don’t feel I could of done more.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 11:29 PM
10

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I hope your doing ok. Yeah I’m actually doing ok most of the time. I work out, got back into my hobbies and interests,be the best father I can be for my two boys, starting new challenges in my career. We are both still single and I’m not looking forward to the thought of her having someone new one day but I know it’s inevitable and just another mental hurdle to clear.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 11:22 PM
1

Really mature response for recognising your part in it. You should be proud of that. Really like how you explained your improvements as well. I’m 4 months divorced and doing ok.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 05:26 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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