Was this a mistake ?

Tahpsy_Krets · 2024-02-14T09:25:44+00:00

This kind of thing only holds you back if you still have feelings for her and harbor hope for reconciliation. If you really don't care what she does or who she does it with anymore, learning new things about her won't bother you at all. You'll be able to control your emotions when she starts talking about a new guy she's talking to or plans she has later on and wants you to watch the kid. If you can handle that for the foreseeable future, then no you aren't making mistake at all and it would work out better for everyone involved. But do not use this as a opportunity to get closer because you're secretly want to reconcile at some point. It's a long hard road to do it this way and you're better off further detaching before you do things as a family with her.

probebeta · 2024-02-14T03:21:19+00:00

I usually am against any type of friendship with ex. She who threatened to use law against me, betrayed, and literally did nothing for me in the last few years, can't possibly be a friend! But part of this stance also comes from the fact that I really don't want to be thinking about her life, who she's dating, who her friends are, how is she doing, stirring crap that adds no value to me. Having her around you shoves that in your face and some of them just love to do that. If you truly don't care, it doesn't bother you, youre just enjoying time with your kid, the congrats I wish I was at that point. Slowly I'm starting to not care whether she's around or not, but not caring about her life has improved my life so much. It's such a relief to not have to deal with her other than kid stuff. Not everyone is the same though and exes are different too I'm sure.

Different-Celery-461 · 2024-02-11T10:59:54+00:00

Take it as a big win for yourself and especially for your son, it is the best and healthiest outcome for the both of you. I've been divorced 33 yrs now and even though my ex had an affair when I was at war, pillaged my savings, left me with a empty home upon return from the war and basically destroyed our family....now I feel absolutely nothing either good or bad for her. Time heals all wounds:)

captainchippsixx · 2024-02-10T21:56:32+00:00

2 year old yeah that sounds good. Once he is older do some dad son stuff.

Wise_Serve_3140 · 2024-02-10T18:46:50+00:00

Just be glad you guys are civil, my parents weren't and spent 25 years unable to even be in the same room, now their friends when grandchild came tho which is good

AffectionateAd6060 · 2024-02-10T14:32:11+00:00

It is very important to be able to get along together on certain days for your children. If you have an ex that is relatively reasonable then you should view this as a very good thing even though it inevitably stirs up some emotions.

Bluerednaz · 2024-02-10T13:36:50+00:00

It all kinda falls on you guys honestly. Personally I can’t handle hanging out with my ex right now even if it is for the kid

Title	Was this a mistake ?
Author	Miserable_Ad_1172
Upvotes	16
Comments	34
Date	February 10, 2024 12:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1anet0b/was_this_a_mistake/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/was-this-a-mistake.1245036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245036

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