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probebeta Archive

View 17 posts and 1,092 comments by probebeta on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Things usually turn sour when money discussions happen. But I understand that there are situations when this isn't an issue.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 08:13 PM
1

Everytime you're wondering what to do go to gym and lift. Get jacked. In 6 months you'll be a different person.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 03:18 AM
7

I heard amicable, but "kind" is some next level stuff. That's a myth my friend. Protect yourself, prepare for the worst and hope it's quick.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 03:05 AM
4

For that kind of treatment I would push for a nasty divorce, and that means you get the best deal possible and get rid of this hoe. Seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 12:30 AM
3

Many will disagree with this but dating and sleeping with few more women will get your mind off things. No need to get serious, just go have fun out there, hear new stories, pick up new hobbies. The more people you meet the more new things you learn about how other people are spending their time. My 2c
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 12:25 AM
3

Women are gatekeepers of sex and men are gatekeepers of relationship. Are you giving that up too easily? I don't know but I'd ask that. With women I meet I'm typically the higher earner, and I've always asked myself how is a marriage going to serve me? What if for example, there is no marriage just an agreement that I provide experience, and she is feminine and respectful, cooks for me, and that's that. It really is not a bad deal. If that feels like a bad deal to them maybe they're not the ones…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 10:27 PM
1

Getting out of a dysfunctional marriage isn't giving up on your kids. They're much better off without that. Sucking it up at home just for the kids rarely works. What kind of example would you be setting for your kids like that?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 11:55 PM
4

I honestly wouldn't worry about saving my mental state only, and I do understand that's also very important. Protect yourself, your assets, and plan for the worst and hope for the best on getting out of this legally as quickly as possible. Having those talks is pointless, you already know what's going on, avoid any sort of escalation as that can create other problems. My 2c
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 11:40 PM
3

Yes there are those who are in truly abusive relationships who are trying to save their life. That's like 1%. And then the other 99% ... 😅
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 11:33 PM
1

I never got any good results from a free tier honestly. If you want to find something better I'd pay for it. And even then you have to go through a lot of dates to find something decent. I understand that online dating has a bad rep, but you should have it in the mix of ways to meet women. Yes, you get a lot of flakes, and they do have a lot of dates - way more than we do, but that has always been the case. I wouldn't bet that meeting someone in your hiking group vs online dating means she's goi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 04:31 PM
2

Dating isnt about getting someone in your life. It's about meeting women, having fun and getting laid. Yes stay safe out there, but do not end up in a corner somewhere alone because divorce happened 😅
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 04:02 AM
3

Hinge
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 03:54 AM
2

Any kids? One advantage you have is that you have so much runway dude. You'll be fine. I can't think of a disadvantage other than maybe money. When I was 32 I don't remember being as comfortable financially as I do now. But... Just keep working hard, look good, and you'll do way better than you think right now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 12:21 AM
2

This is spot on
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 12:18 AM
6

Around the time I was separated I met a younger one too and I have to admit it was the funnest person I've spent time with. If your lifestyle matches hers I see no issue with it. But relationships aren't all about honey moon and dates, and usually that's when things start to crack. She actually openly talked about her friends having bfs who are "providers" and you need to be aware and not fall in that trap. No reason why you shouldnt get with her, enjoy your life, but protect yourself, and don't…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 12:11 AM
3

Honestly, there's red flags everywhere with anyone I meet. You just have not seen them yet. So when you hear someone say don't get married, I think theyre onto something 😅
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 11:13 PM
3

Not your age yet but around there. Not sure what you mean by success story because for me that would be complete financial freedom and I think even that wouldn't be enough. But ... I think I've been doing well overall, active lifestyle, regular gym, look fit. I did a hair transplant (hah), bought a decent condo by the water. Dating has been fine, I'm meeting better looking women every day, not looking to commit. I have to admit, I'm seeing this girl who seems like a good woman, but I've gotten s…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 05:37 PM
3

Why does she even know about your remote job, when you're home and when you're not. I share zero details about myself, it's all strictly about the kids. If there is a request for changes outside of family plan agreement, I say yes, or no I can't, and that's that. If you were married then yes stuff like this can be frustrating, but you're not... You dont have to care how she feels when you say no. The only thing that matters is how can you set clear boundaries without arguments that end up biting…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 05:23 PM
3

Well you did get with her when she was younger and likely better than what she is today right? So you shouldn't feel inferior. Work on yourself and replace her. That part of your life is over, unfortunately. But there could be a silverlining to this. It will make you better in the long run. Time to unlock your potential, keep your head up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 08:08 PM
1

If you want to go on dates I would just go to meet women and have fun with it. Unloading your divorce story and suggesting you're looking for a relationship is usually a turn off while you're dating. I would focus on self-improvement, getting jacked. Dates are fine but you're going to have to meet a lot more women to find something better. I hate to say it but a lot of them are going to o be disappointing, but there are some better ones out there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 08:28 PM
14

Save your dignity and yourself, and cut her loose. Being friends means youre the atm, providing for the kids while shes on her slut phase and passes all responsibilities to you. Once you start talking about finances where she will have to actually work, while she is "finding herself", you'll see how much she cares.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:14 AM
13

Don't fall for it...
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 04:01 AM
1

Hire a lawyer immediately and do a paternity test. You dobmnt have to act on it right away but you do need to be well informed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 05:22 PM
5

I dont see anything good come out of this. I mean there are tons of women out there. Why do it and then wonder where the catch is. You don't want that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 09:34 PM
4

Logistics. So many nurses and teachers in here. Wow they just cant help themselves huh 😅. I guess the stats are true
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 06:45 PM
3

I don't know how law works in your state but there is a document I had to fill in where you have to disclose all your assets, and if you're doing shady stuff then you're basically lying on paper. Then there is a clause a lawyer can draft saying that if assets are discovered then you are entitled to some of it. She'll probably try to hide stuff anyway, but hopefully not by much if there are clauses like this on the agreement. We did exchange bank statements and details like this as per request by…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 06:36 PM
2

Nah I dont think you build dependence on it. I occasionally take bites of a pil, not full doses and it's all good. I honestly it helps a bit with libido too but maybe that's just me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 08:58 PM
2

The stress of separation can cause this. It could be a combination of everything, but stress definitely makes it worse. Keep healthy, sleep, and give it some time. Get some Viagra and see how that changes things.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 08:07 AM
1

If your gut feel is saying you have a connection with her it means that she's probably digged your vibe. Take it easy, because yes you can come across as needy, follow the feedback she's giving you and act accordingly. If she's eager to meet you then set up dates, if she's "busy" then pull back a bit. Have fun out there. Maybe explore other hobbies and friends too so you have what to share when you do meet her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 04:29 AM
8

I can't believe I'm saying this but I think marriage is fine, but a prenup should be made mandatory. People are welcome to leave if they dont like it but I dont think they should be automatically entitled to half the stuff. Why exactly 😂. This law is completely arbitrary.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 03:55 AM
14

You learnt an important lesson, like many of us here.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 02:43 AM
8

Buy retatrutide and give it to her. Or maybe take it together. Don't have advice but I can tell you that ignoring the problem is not a solution. Ask me how I know...
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:12 AM
2

This
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 01:14 AM
-2

Lack of options. I mean, I get it that some folks have various kinks but I highly doubt that older or with kids is one of them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 01:09 AM
4

I'd fire the family therapist and find my own. Basically you need to cope with this situation. I mean she did owe it to you when you when you were with her before the marriage, otherwise you would have stayed with her. Nobody "owes" anyone anything but that's not how things work.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 10:49 PM
3

10 years marriage. 1 kid. 1.5 years to move on. Moving on comes with a grain of salt though. In some ways I feel amazing, in some ways I'm hampered. Things get better with time though, but you also get older.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 07:52 AM
2

I don't know where you're from and if you know Kevin O'leary. There was a question about giving up a business for a woman who wanted more time, and that was an ultimatum to choose her or the business. He said "which one is easier to replace?". I guess what I'm saying is that the role of husband is great and respectable, but the purpose should be something else.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 07:43 AM
7

Your rough week sounds like a normal week honestly. It sounds like you still think about your ex. I don't think you're in a position to think about anything else but casual dating. I'd say keep up with self improvement, keep dating, you're going to have to do way more than 2 dates to find something of substance 😅. Just have fun out there... Eventually you'll find one that you have good vibes about, and even then take it easy and steady. What's the rush.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 07:23 AM
3

I don't get likes either, once ina blue moon. You have to do it and its all a numbers game. I pay for hinge because otherwise I got zero matches. Don't be discouraged it's how it works.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 03:04 AM
7

Dating apps have changed the way dating works. Women have a rollodex of options for dates and will not care. I've had women cancel 5 minutes before lol. I've heard a story from my friend where they would set the same location and time to meet several people and last minute pick the best option. It's crazy but it happens a lot. So.... You do the same. Double or triple book dates. I stopped caring if that's nice or not because I know they're doing it too. And believe it or not they don't care if y…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 01:08 AM
4

It's normal to be angry, but be glad you have no kids with her. You'll need to negotiate as best you can and with help of lawyers. Then pay her and move on with life. You're capable of getting it back and a lot more, believe me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 10:39 PM
4

Please dont
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 07:30 PM
1

Get a lawyer asap. He'll be able to tell you what to do if she leaves, doesn't pay her half etc. she wants you to get a roommate? Yes of course she could want many things but that's not how this works.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 07:24 PM
3

Quietly plan your exit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 03:27 AM
2

Well one important advice is to not sleep with her again. The rest seems straightforward in your case.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 07:04 AM
0

Usually there are child support calculators and such that are most likely what she'll be getting. Once you get all these details from in consultation with lawyer you tell her what you're using and that she's unlikely to get more if this goes to court. If her lawyer is reasonable then they might agree. Point it out to her that if lawyer is pushing her to fight, delay, then it's money for lawyers and court instead of you both and the child.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 11:29 PM
3

Yeah pressure to have kids can be a bit too much. I've had this happen to me. And yes she was so preoccupied with the idea and has not even met my kid. It's a serious red flag, I know that much.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 08:12 PM
7

I think the decent house to live in is something you want for yourself. Then kids will be much more comfortable when they come over too. It's a win win.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 08:04 PM
1

Amicable split is a myth when money is on the line. Hire a lawyer, understand what you're entitled to, then decide how you want to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 05:26 AM
2

Here is a lesson that I learnt from various people... You do not show an interest in a relationship, or even clues about it. You go on dates, and eventually you're going to expect intimacy and kiss her good night. That will be the baseline. A relationship she's going to have to earn, with time. If she feels she's easily got that then, well she'll probably ask for a yacht 😅. Just keep dating man, it's not a bad thing to date other women.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 05:16 AM
2

2 years seems really long. I totally get getting the house in selling order but still 2 years... If you're primary earner maybe take some time off work and work on expediting this instead. She'll be getting half of that income anyway. That's just me, attorney probably has better advice.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:23 AM
7

I wouldn't be so sure about not dating others right now. If she wants validation, whatever that means to her, she might be getting it elsewhere. She's in for a rude awakening, single mom of 3 who suddenly is looking for streets... Regardless, I'm sorry this is done. Stop doing things for her, helping her, doing house chores. Focus on you and kids only and plan for the d day with an attorney. This is the best thing you can do right now.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 10:34 PM
2

The fact that she left and isn't someone vindictive who's after all your stuff could be a good thing. Try to redirect all he pain to something productive, gym like never before, some physical activities, eat well and get toned, dress well and groom yourself, maybe even a few dates with beautiful women can take your mind off things. Only time fixes grief but you need to stay busy and keep moving regardless. If it's hard to motivate yourself then... I don't know listen to some Andrew Tate 😅. It wi…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 04:31 PM
5

Yes it is manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 03:33 AM
5

Freedom. To do whatever you please, to exercise your other female options, to not have to pay for someone's lifestyle while getting not much in return, and so on and so on... Just think of it this way, if Leonardo di Caprio didn't think there's positives being single he'd probably be with someone right now for 20 years. But he isn't.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 11:56 PM
3

Be glad the guy let her in. Sometimes I worry what would happen if she ends up alone 😅
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:31 AM
2

What language are they speaking there and how did you end up there? You will get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:24 AM
1

Is your decision made already? With kids being 3 and 1.5 it will be pretty hard for you to take care of them with 50/50 custody if that's what you want to have, and I think you probably want in the long term. Think of how parenting is going to work for you especially.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:17 AM
8

It's convenient to "talk" and reconcile so that you pay all the bills until she's ready to monkey branch somewhere else. I'd write this off quietly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:35 AM
2

Wife doesn't respect me and she guards her phone are usually red flags. Do you want to tolerate this behavior and for how long? Forget loving husband, leave her alone and go to gym, hobbies, your own friends. If behavior does not improve plan your exit quietly, even if you don't need to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 05:00 AM
7

You have to understand that in the short term she'll be beating you, if that's how you want to think about it. Play the long game. In 1-3 years, if you do the work, you'll be so much better off. I know this because I've gone through this. Keep going and good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 10:45 AM
3

Forget love for a little while and go bang some 25 year olds. If you can't do that then do the self improvement and then do it. It will take your mind off these things.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 07:58 AM
2

This is pretty rational fear I think. I had some episodes of what appeared like vertigo a while back and was worried going in the pool with my son. Luckily that's gone but yes absolutely it makes sense. It's good to have a system where you have family checking on you, and maybe even help you when kids are sick and need hospital visits etc. it does suck being alone in these situations. Take care of your health. they grow up fast is what they say.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 11:05 AM
2

It's a wrap. I'm sorry. Save yourself and your dignity, and get out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 08:49 PM
2

Is there ink on paper? If not, don't count on it because the story can change. Finances and custody usually go hand in hand. Lawyer can help with this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 03:52 AM
1

Don't give her everything she wants... It's tricky but hopefully with some creativity you negotiate to get to keep more $$. Women are everywhere honestly, but I used Hinge a lot also.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:29 PM
3

Consult a lawyer about this. When I went through this I actually explained to her that lawyer instructed me to not leave my home until we get a parenting plan agreement. Then I would just go out whenever shes around, minimal contact. It's brutal but need to be careful not to have that seen as abandonment.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 10:14 PM
3

The law won't let her to be out in the mud, don't worry about that 😅. Financially this is probably going to sting a lot. But my advice is to stay calm and collected, avoid any escalation, even if she wants it all. Feels wrong I know, but you're about to meet a whole different person as you negotiate your way out of this. Id push hard for 50/50 custody. Will it get better? Yes. I'm about same age as you, got a reasonable deal with her despite all the turmoil, we have an ok cordial relationship. I…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 09:59 PM
9

This might be a bit opinionated. It's never about how much effort you put in the marriage. It's more about the effort you put in yourself so that she, whoever she is, has to compete for your attention. She basically thought she could do better. Change that, but not for her but for you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 02:41 AM
2

Being friends after divorce is a myth. Just move on, focus on bettering yourself, your health and eventually replace her. Once people start dating other people they're different creatures and will only look after their own self-interest. It's what I've seen.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:47 AM
1

As someone who has been through this I can tell you that things do get better, a lot better. Right now you just need to survive this process. Every rapid ends.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:39 AM
9

Never consider the thought because of some chick...
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:34 AM
2

100% agree. But having more women in your life will address the neediness too. Lack of options is what creates scarcity, and neediness. My 2c anyway
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 05:31 AM
1

Meet other women.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:42 AM
3

My question is why do you keep going back to her for months. Having the optionality allows you to pick the best of what you like. If she's expecting that I pay all the time she better be hot, or something along those lines 😅
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 04:46 AM
7

If I'm going on a date I pay for it, but I also pick a place that I can afford. Splitting bills is just really not my thing. But I do expect some reciprocation, and unfortunately I dont tell her this. If she likes me enough she will do it without me asking. This could be some amazing cooked dinner which I very much appreciate. If she doesn't then she will eventually end up in my friend zone. By that I mean we go out for a date, then yadda yadda, but she will soon realize that this is as far as t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 04:28 AM
1

Yeah she probably likes you. If you go to the same gym though it's a bit tricky 😅. Will you find it awkward if you go separate ways? I would also assume she's talking to a bunch of other dudes too, and that's okay. If you want to ask her out just do it and go have fun. Put the doubts in the backseat for a while. You need to stack some wins to gain confidence back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 10:51 PM
1

You're doing the right thing. But she should not be living in your head also. Go do the self improvement stuff, gym, look good, make money, pursue hobbies and social life. When she says she wants to be alone, more often than not there's a guy or few of them who have already been there. She thinks she can do better, basically. She might be delusional but you definitely don't want her back 😅. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 11:38 PM
2

Do you have kids? If you don't, and intend to keep your marriage, pay very close attention to why you're having the fights. You don't want to find this out after you have kids. Not all fights mean you should get divorced, but read the clues in the comments here. Loving her, alone, is not a good enough reason to keep the marriage honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:55 AM
2

I'd say go out there, meet women, and have fun. Don't rush into anything, dont get attached, and adjust your approach based on how she behaves and not based on what she says. Ones that do fishy things keep them at arms length, ones that behave better can get some extras. Honestly I date them all since I'm not looking for anything serious, and I'm upfront about it. But yes it doesn't take long to see some crazy stuff, that facade does not stay there forever 😅. There are good women out there thoug…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 01:16 AM
7

I dont think there is a way to go back to who you were. But that doesn't mean you can't be better than who you were. I've learnt a lot by going through this. Let me just say that I am a lot more present today than I was before... Go live your life man, forget about your ex :)
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:25 AM
1

Do you have kids with this woman? If not, then do not do it because that will complicate things. Lots of good advise here, go to gym, look good, hang out with friends, hobbies, do things that matter to you. She needs to know she's replaceable. If she doesn't care you might have to do it...
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 08:32 PM
2

You tell her when you're ready to file or have her served at work. I have not done this myself but that turbulence during separation can be very stressful. The quicker you're able to wrap it up the easier it will be. You'll want to figure out parenting plan and hopefully agree on how assets are split, which lawyer can help with. Other than that keep conversations about kids only.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 08:19 PM
2

Nah... Unless you're enjoying the process of selling the house and going through all this hassle :)
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 06:18 PM
11

Absolutely get a lawyer. You need him by your side even if you won't need to use him. Once finances are discussed things get ugly pretty fast. The fact that you make a little more than her and not a lot more is good news. Go for 50/50, work on what suits you for parenting plan. Hang in there as this gets better but yes the beginning will suck. Do gym and things that improve you, stay off alcohol, stay calm with her you don't want any escalation. Good luck P.s. women don't go to convent when they…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 06:02 PM
15

Forgive her for what exactly? She's already checked out and is lining a replacement or possibly has it already but it maybe didn't turn out as she hoped. She's "giving you a year"? The best thing you can do right now is get a lawyer and calmly plan your exit. Not in a year, now in 6 months, but as soon as possible. Maybe by you walking away things can improve but something tells me that not only she won't be happy again, but you will be much better off without her lingering around. I've been whe…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 12:24 AM
5

Hang in there. Get her out of your head. She belongs on the streets. Go to gym whenever you feel angry. Get a lawyer.You'll be much better off once this is over.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 08:41 PM
2

I'd say skip that and meet some women on hinge instead. Get in shape, gym, maybe get on retatrutide or something and build your body. Escorts are not going to give any type of fulfilling experience.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:12 AM
1

That's when market is doing well. But I agree, I'd put that money every month in some ETF like s&p, and if you can stomach bad market days then on average you'll be making that. I don't think it's a bad idea to diversify those investments though and paying some debt with portion of that money isn't that bad. If your interest is 4.5% then you're at least guaranteed that 4.5% you no longer need to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 03:31 AM
1

I understand kids can drag you into this kind of stuff, but I don't see the point in it. And I'm not talking just about the boyfriend but the in-laws, her social circle and their families. I'm still cool, cordial, but so glad I'm out of that... I celebrate my kids birthday my way and she can do it her way and it's still fun.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 06:22 AM
5

She's already out, but let's say she's not and changes her mind. Would you be okay with this behavior change and accept it as normal... You'll be thinking when she'll be pulling another one of these because most likely this time didn't work out as she thought. Save the peace of mind, it's a wrap.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 03:43 AM
1

Mine knew hers and said this can potentially make it easier. This was my second lawyer. He was lazy but reasonable and I think that helped. I did most of the work and negotiating and he just helped push this forward. In retrospect this is what I wanted, use him if I have to, but did not want to go to court. If both lawyers are reasonable there are less shenanigans... I make decent money but definitely not wealthy. My guess is when they look at all this they just don't want to deal with money fig…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 05:16 AM
7

A woman once told me there is nothing more attractive than a man who changes diapers. Post divorce I now think, yes this is how it all starts.... You set no boundaries early on, avoid rocking the boat, and eventually you end up being that guy who did everything right but its still not enough for her. I don't know how people fix this at this point, because I haven't, but doing more isnt a solution imo.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 10:08 PM
7

Gym, work actually, making money, dating. Its much easier when you have your stuff together, no way around it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 09:03 PM
0

Well we're not all as big as you are ;)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 05:18 AM
3

Heard someone say... Women don't want to separate to go to a convent. You believe what you want to believe... 🙂 I think the real advice is to pick yourself up, accept it's over and move on to become better. That marriage is gone to trash whatever the reason is.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 02:44 AM
3

There is a way to change the legal system. Maybe men just need to stop marrying. So you see it's not really about changing the legal system, it's more about educating other men how the game is played today.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 04:15 AM
7

Giving her a ride is a husband duty, and a pick up at the bar? I get the two kids and everything but she's not your wife and not your friend anymore. If it's about kids, ok, otherwise no. This approach has not made anything worse around co-parenting it just sets some boundaries where she respects my time and I respect hers.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:08 AM
2

Guilt has gotten me together with my then gf. It has also been one of the reasons why I haven't left before my kid. Then that happened and look where it got me, 14 years later. I hope that helps.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 12:32 AM
1

Get on retatrutide, start working out and build your body. But do it for yourself not her. Then once this is over replace her with someone better. If she says it's done it's pointless salvaging anything. You'll have a better time meeting someone new, 100% sure
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 12:28 AM
2

Don't know about love but success and happiness yes. I'm less likely to let myself get attached these days. This can be good and bad, but it's a pretty powerful way of living on your own terms. I sometimes joke around with friends about co-living... Why would I need someone to come to my place, claim space every day, and tell me what to do 😂
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 06:22 PM
4

Try grey rock. Shell get the message.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 05:31 PM
10

This means shes done and probably has a replacement lined up. Wrap it up and dont talk to her. No love talk, no fixing, no her criticizing you, you're done now too. Your job now is you and your kids, be the best you can, and please don't take her back. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:40 AM
4

If you're curious about what she wants or offers assume she's got nothing to offer and just wants something that she's unlikely to get otherwise. Protect your peace.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 12:55 AM
6

What toxic behavior? It was never their fault. Maybe you just didn't get the memo 😂
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:57 PM
6

I don't have 3 but things get a bit easier as they grow up, with work dating and chores. Interestingly I don't have the appetite for going out and doing all the single stuff like I used to. In other words, there are times when I'd rather stay home on a Friday night with my kid then go out on some date and listen to her nonsense 😅. It still Is exhausting sometimes though...
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:53 PM
0

I think being unreasonable is when things have to get ugly. If he's a piece of shit then you'll have to fight him. And I don't say this lightly because financially it's usually men that get screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:48 PM
4

When my ex was looking down on me for being quite obsessed with money it told me everything about who she's with. I heard he's the same height as her too. Anyway, yes it's kind of comical at that time when you have a lot of resentment in you but there are maybe good things and you have to be ok wishing her well eventually. Maybe he's more loyal and doesn't rock the boat much, has more time for her, is more supportive and gladly listens to her bs, spends his entire paycheck on keeping her happy, …
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:39 PM
6

Do not have a kid with this woman. Get rid of her, rebuild yourself, and go date younger sexier women and smash. I understand that some men still care about their cheating spouse, but she did that because she thought she could do better. Plain and simple. I would choose self respect, and maybe show her that eventually YOU can do better. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:24 PM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 06:23 AM
1

Do you have kids? If not I'd start looking for an apartment, not to move to right away but a place where you can be away if you need. Focus on you, gym, workout, work, maybe even get out with your friends. Minimal contact with her. No begging and pleading, you're done with her. If you need to stay because you have joint property, makes sense, and lawyer can answer these. Once that's done you have no business dealing with her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 06:18 AM
6

If you want her to pay half now and start money conversation with her I'd expect her to turn bitter potentially have things escalate very quickly. I'm sorry but there just isn't another way, you have to protect yourself, get a lawyer, expect the worst and hope for the best. My ex and I are ok now but that period of time dealing with money was very stressful.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 06:07 AM
3

You'll get through it. I've met beautiful women, improved some areas in my life I was stuck at. With kids, it's hard work but it is possible. Relationships and love? I dont know man, I look at things a bit differently now...
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 06:00 AM
3

I did! Because they don't have to..😅
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:58 AM
5

I'll translate that for you. She wants out but hasn't gotten a firm grip on the other branch. Unlike men, women cannot be alone for too long, I heard... Also, some can go for months like this but they may have already checked out, but men either don't notice or they simply ignore it. In retrospect, I'd start self improvement then instead of waiting for writing on the wall kind of thing. Maybe it would have messed with my head less, who knows...
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 02:57 AM
2

Initially dating with a kid was a concern but if you have your stuff together some women won't care. I went on many many dates and eventually you start not caring if someone is not interested. There are plenty who are. And if you're just going out having fun you don't need to bring up the kid conversation. Stack some wind and you'll feel like a winner again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 03:33 PM
3

I think she may have gotten used to your flexibility. She's about to meet a different person 😅 I mean by no means I'm not suggesting to escalate things because things can get ugly. But you have to set boundaries. My experience...
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:38 PM
8

If you have proof that you can lose your job because of the schedule to accommodate her tennis then make that known to her. Her leisure time is not going to carry more weight than your work, judges look for the best interest of the kid. I'd be firm but respectful, present all the facts in writing so lawyers can look at it. Hopefully she'll cave. If not show her court fees and what that would cost "both" of you. Maybe tennis can take the back seat for now 😅
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 05:32 PM
9

It feels like you're "losing" because you ARE losing at that particular time. Half your assets, child support, spousal support, 50% time with your kids, plus gaining a new enemy that you now have to work with. That can be too much for a person to handle while going through it. But it gets better, likely a lot better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 08:29 AM
2

How soon after meeting her did you become exclusive? Did she demand that you're exclusive? Maybe she wants to be exclusive and she says that, but I have the belief that what she really wants from you is to show her you can replace her. Like is she visibly wanting external validation, looking pretty when she goes out without you, tests you, lies occasionally about random things, just stop calling her for a while and correct that behavior right away. Why wait until it's too late right? You can los…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 09:38 AM
1

If she charges you for the fees then you can do the same and charge her your fees, and you won't owe her any money. I think that will get her attention and then you discuss a better plan that saves you both money.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 09:16 PM
2

If you have no prenup I wouldn't discuss it. And if you have been thinking about it I'd make sure you're set up in a way that minimizes the risk. Usually it's the law that can be very painful for most men going through it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 09:13 PM
2

I wouldn't say I enjoy my time away from kids, but 50/50 is fine. 5 days is not a long time honestly, and I do need this time to be productive with whatever I have on my plate. On my off days I usually do my workouts, maybe golf, some dates, or when I have no plans I might have a good productive side business day. My kid days are mainly about my kid, we enjoy our time and so some fun activities, and then the off days are to actually move forward. It is an ok balance.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 09:00 PM
2

When you discover she's been talking to law firms 😅
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 11:58 PM
3

If you're divorcing you need to hire a lawyer as it won't be pretty. She said she won't work until divorce is finalized because..... She's basically telling you that she wants you to support her now, and most likely after, and then she can get a job and collect two paychecks. You can't accept whatever she wants and will need to push back. If she doesn't want a job that's fine but she has to accept a lesser amount for spousal support and lawyer can help with that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 11:48 PM
3

If AP is willing to be on her social media 3 months in, it says a lot about his options and decisions. I'd be glad you're done dude, don't let that bother you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 10:28 PM
2

Every day try to improve yourself in some way, work out, gym, learn something, new activity, hobby or skill, meet people. Then watch what happens.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 10:49 PM
2

Hinge
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 03:13 AM
6

Work out like your life depends on it, shed extra weight and belly fat, buy some new clothes. Looking and feeling good was the number one thing that snapped me out of that state of mind. When you look good people notice you, and I don't mean just women, and it helps get your social life back in order.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:59 AM
0

You have no kids. Protect yourself from any liabilities especially if you are cohabitating. At that point if you want to stick around for a bit more fun with her I wouldn't judge you 😅 but she's now your fuck buddy at best. Relationship with her is over, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:05 PM
1

Why does she want it? With a 3 month old there could be all kinds of things happening with her mental state.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:57 AM
11

There are legal implications to that advice too. Leaving can often be seen as abandonment by the judge, if you go to court. If you lose custody then she can call the shots on parenting, and it will affect how much you pay her too, you might get visitations. I'd aim for 50/50 custody first and then you can leave if you like. Lawyer can answer these.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:57 AM
3

Don't know the details why you want to leave but I can tell you how it feels. It's not a great feeling since I'm not the type that goes out to xmass parties, mingle with other parent friends etc, so this part takes some effort if that's your thing. Another part of me could care less about it honestly. My kid has my undivided attention, we go out and have fun, often just the two of us, then we meet my family. It's different but enjoyable and you can make it work. Staying civil to ex helps with yo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:26 AM
3

Mine was 4 when I decided to call it quits. I could be wrong since this isn't always true, but when she's a b* and doesn't pull the weight it's a sign that she's checked out and possibly has lined up a potential replacement. I'd hire a lawyer right away and quietly plan your exit. I wouldn't pull the trigger until you have all the details you need, but I wouldn't sleep on it too long either. Sticking for the kids rarely works when youre walking on eggshells and get no peace at home.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 03:41 AM
2

This
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 03:36 AM
2

If this lady is asking for divorce give it to her and dont look back.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 05:10 PM
6

Start a business, build your body, dress better, find hobbies you enjoy. I'll be honest, I've dated a lot too and it was a lot of fun but in retrospect women suck a lot of your time. I should go back to those things I just mentioned 😅
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:53 AM
2

I pay 0 in alimony but decided to make significant contributions towards my child's accounts. This was done after a few "tough" conversations where I thought she caved and accepted my offer. Lawyer wouldn't even present this offer, for which in retrospect Id gladly fire him. Anyway he got the process moving and didn't cost all that much so it turned out alright. 50% of your income sounds pretty rough, is there a chance a different lawyer could do better? Can she get a job?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 01:31 AM
4

Online dating isn't sexy but it's a good way to meet women. Go work out, lift heavy stuff, dress well, good profile photos, and go meet some cuties.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 02:12 AM
1

I mean, yes before and after sex you're friends. But usually one party is chasing the other. You're either a Chad solving her problem, or you put her in the friend zone and now she's a FWB trying to get the relationship status. Either of those cases is "kind of" transactional imo. I mean if you consider pillow talk a friendship then sure maybe 😅
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:32 PM
5

Both cases are transactions but first one you're exchanging nonsexual attention for sexual attention, and if you're compatible then you're both enjoying sex too. If you're paying money for intimacy it feels pretty one-sided which kind of kills the mood. Unless I'm looking for some kind of kink that is impossible to find Id rather just date women... You might end up spending money the same way but it's funner 😅
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 01:34 PM
1

I still enjoy the company of women, dating and sex so that keeps me busy enough to want those days alone sometimes honestly. If you like it no reason not to do it. It's a different dating world out there now, but that gives me the perspective of living in abundance too 😅. If I end up with no plans I take my laptop and go do some work in the coffee shop on my side business or try to throw in some gym, or any contribution that will help me after today. Social time with buddies and friends is impor…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 03:26 AM
1

Pop her pimples. Might as well wax her too and prepare her for whatever she's been doing. Grey rock her..
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:21 AM
1

If you're waiting it out for the kids it'll just benefit her in the long run if you're the higher earner. Why the liability. You'll get plenty of quality time with your kids after divorce. Not saying you should pull the trigger but Ive never heard of a case where sticking for the kids actually did any good. If being in the marriage becomes miserable that's not good for the quality time you want. My 2c
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:13 AM
1

Custody and parenting plan. Get some ink on paper before leaving the house. Finances seems about even so you're lucky there. If she can't buy you out when you leave the house what are you going to do? That could become a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:07 AM
9

I dont think she found a "healthy" relationship necessarily. It's too early to say that. But regardless you should not care, just go live your life man. You do need to make an effort to shift focus, maybe hit the gym every time you get triggered. Also minimize contact with her, why increased contact, what value does that bring?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:59 AM
14

I hate to say it but this situation won't get better even if it's yours. If this one is yours the next one might not be. Are you prepared for that? Do a paternity test and get a lawyer. Protecting yourself doesn't mean you're not going to be a dad to your kid, if that turns out to be yours.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:24 AM
5

You have away with words. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:46 AM
5

I'd say he's been there already
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 02:44 AM
1

I wouldn't consider marriage unless you're planning to have kids. If you have kids I dont think rejecting marriage makes sense since you'll be common law anyway. And in that case even prenup isn't enough. So if you want kids really vet your girl for red flags, at least 2 years before you commit. If you don't want kids, no marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 07:57 PM
6

My ex looks terrible too. I see some funky stuff she's doing with nails, but packed some pounds. I honestly hope she can keep the new guy because I dont want to deal with any kind of side effects of her being single again. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:54 AM
10

"The reason why divorce is expensive is because it's worth it". You will most likely be destroyed financially if it goes to court. If you can settle somehow where both of you are sane enough to settle you'll both be better off, but it's easier said than done. You have to push back, get creative, negotiate, strategize how to get a good deal and get out of this with your skin. Butin the long run you're better off than being in a bad marriage. Things do get better, much much better. Single dad life…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 03:46 AM
1

Gaining muscle and being fit works wonders. I used to be this guy that thought being buffed is a stupid look. Turns out, women seem more interested, dudes on the street respect me more, it's life changing actually...
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 08:12 AM
1

I'd say stick to your self improvement journey on days when you end up with no plans. Ive been trying to fill that time with gym, cardio, working on a side project, meeting friends, maybe throw some clothe shopping. You can't change your height and face but you can be fit, build your body. If you're online dating know it's a numbers game. Also not every woman is going to like you and you have to be okay with that. Not sure if you're casually meeting or what the goal is but meeting more women doe…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 08:00 AM
1

Hinge worked for me. Not sure I have time to try another one.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 07:38 AM
5

You can meet someone anytime you feel like it. I dont think there's a rule. Maybe a reason people say this is because the trauma and resentment can get in the way of you having success there. If you can meet a couple cuties and can hit it off then why not.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 09:31 PM
3

I'm introverted too but you'll be surprised how life changed after divorce. Yes the turbulence is not fun, but I got my confidence back, and at least I believe I'm living the life of abundance. The only thing that's missing is time. Don't beat yourself up about being awkward because youre introverted. One thing introverts are good at is learning the game pretty well even if it doesn't come natural to you. Once you start stacking some successes social life will start to become fun.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:48 AM
6

George Bruno said and I'm quoting him "save the man not thearroage" or "save the man and marriage might have a chance". I can't tell you how to take the pain away but you need to detach and start working on yourself, your hobbies, your kids, as if she wasn't there. Maybe even a complete 180 because that's what you'll need either way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:43 AM
16

I heard in some podcast that a woman will start acting like a b* to move you off center and get you to want to leave, slip and do something stupid so that you're blamed for it. This is usually true. One day my ex brought her parents to help put with some home related stuff because I'm not helping her. I was completely caught by surprise because it was pure bs 😅. Anyway I no longer blame her because honestly it's just a playbook that most use, and possibly men too 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:38 AM
1

Do not leave your home. Consult a lawyer immediately and stay calm with all interactions with her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:10 PM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:04 PM
3

About a month something has changed. This means she checked out entirely and there's possibly an AP lined up or more. Get a lawyer asap and plan your exit. You'll have time to deal with how this feels later, but in your position you need to think about protecting you assets and custody.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:57 PM
1

I don't think she can put you in a position of can't take care of the kids because you're working full time and need a nanny to help. But yes this one is difficult... I work from home so maybe that makes it a bit easier but it's pretty difficult to navigate until you find a routine that works for you. Having some help in the family goes a long way but if you don't have that then some changes are needed unfortunately. I now do early days and finish at 3pm because that's when I have to pick my son…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:51 PM
1

Never met him, but sometimes I kind of wish we, with new partners, all end up in the same elevator one day. Just to compare the upgrades 😅 If your situation is cordial due to kids etc, I wouldn't have a problem greeting both of them politely, like a casual hello. Maybe extend the hand from afar and do a wave lol. You don't owe her anything. I'd tell her she's more than welcome to introduce him to me and leave it at that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 06:22 PM
13

When women ask for separation they're not asking to go to a convent. It's usually some dude who seemingly was willing to bang but not offer the greener grass she was hoping for. Maybe this isn't the case but usually it is. I'd stick to the plan, go live your life man.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 02:50 AM
3

If the lawyer is telling you to wait and that helps you then sure. But if you want peace of mind id get it over with sooner than later. No explanation needed. If you are also a breadwinner then you're giving her time to get her plans in order too, you'll cover most expenses, maybe she'll incurr debt, siphon money out, who knows. If you know you can't trust her it's a liability IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 02:45 AM
6

I did this, but pay attention to false dv. If she wants you out she might try something... Didn't go as far as getting cameras but was very close to that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 02:37 AM
1

Who's building equity, you or her? 😅 But yes a prenup would help with that a bit though.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:25 PM
2

More than one year divorced. Quite a bit of gym, body building, bought a decent condo, Went through a lot of women this year, some seem decent, attractive, lots of sex, but nothing serious. Lots of alcohol, gotta kick this habit. I've experienced and seen a lot these past couple years. The thought of relationships makes me chuckle. Why would I want that? Maybe I'm broken, but whatever. It will be hard letting go of this freedom, but getting exhausted also.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 08:05 AM
7

Good advice. If you don't give them time and commitment you're the better option. So just keep at that, and it's way better than cohabitating and pretending marriage is the way to go. It doesn't seem to be 😅
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:51 PM
6

You look after the two year old from ex that's not yours? Why would you do this...?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 07:34 PM
1

I could use mentorship from someone older than me honestly. Even at this age I find myself making mistakes. One thing I'd tell my younger self though is to put yourself first. It just works... 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 06:55 AM
2

Mine is 6
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 10:36 PM
3

It's not great but it's not bad either. My first phase of dating involved insecurities about being undatable because I am a single dad. That was followed by the phase where some women actually dont care about it... for a little while though. Then there is the phase where ive dated enough women to not care what they think. It really depends what you're looking for, but I can tell you that peace I get from living single and dating is going to be hard to give up. Are you going to give it up because…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 09:41 PM
4

No need to check the bank account. 1-2-3 tells it all. That, unfortunately, is not something you ignore, ever. Im slightly younger so I can't really give advice but what I do know is that you gotta keep women on the edge and be willing to walk away any time you feel one of your boundaries has been crossed. No explanation needed. It's hard to correct that behavior when you're 10-15 years in a relationship. And honestly you know what the best part of that rule is? You get to meet other women... Ma…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 08:27 AM
16

The guy you lost her to is seeing a single mom with 3 kids. Let that be motivation to improve yourself and live a better life.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 09:45 PM
1

I was kind of feeling bad for the wife but in this case it's easy. Write off. If you don't do it she will when she's got a good grip on the next affair...
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 06:58 PM
1

I heard someone say when men cheat it's because they want some exercise, variety, on the side. When women cheat is because they've been thinking of replacing you. I mean... It could be revenge, maybe other reasons, but it's a much more serious liability. Are you prepared to deal with that?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 09:57 PM
1

I'll translate "let's not throw away the history" for you -> "grass is currently not greener and I'm still evaluating my options". It's a mistake you fell for it, but now you've learnt your lesson. Money and fitness is something that, fortunately, you can change. But seriously, get rid of her, get the best deal you possibly can, and don't look back. Stay strong and good luck. P.s. if you're the a*hole because you're trying to get what's rightfully yours know that you're on the right track..
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 01:45 AM
3

He's not wrong but he's not right either. I find mature women are actually more entitled than younger ones. They make their money and some believe that this gives them the privilege to attract a higher value man. The ones that finally realize how this actually works, and lack of options at their age, will eventually settle. This is what he means, maybe...
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 06:43 PM
1

I pay for the date but I expect her to make it up in other ways. If I get invited for dinner and she cooks, or comes to my place and cooks one day then it's a way for her to reciprocate. If she does nothing to reciprocate then, and I hate to use this word, she's just a booty call 😂 I think there are plenty of date ideas that are cheap and fun, where you get to pay for it and not have to split pennies. During summer I used to do the beach, wine or craft beer and some snacks in my bag. Worked ever…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 06:33 PM
1

Not a chance. And staying married but living separately, why exactly? Unless you don't mind the liability and have no problem providing for your ex then it's a crap idea. Maybe I'm wrong...
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:40 AM
3

Im sorry to hear this...
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:47 AM
1

It seems fair for you to feel like leaving if these are the arguments you're having. Blending families, exw issues, plus managing a new relationship can be stressful. Am I wrong to assume that youre engaged with this woman a bit too early?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 06:13 PM
2

I think this is still fresh and you're worried about it now. I don't think you need to go out of your way to explain to people what happened. If it comes up you just say you're no longer living together. Just maintain your cool, crack unrelated jokes, and act like a normal person. If they want to chat with you they want to see you do well for yourself. And maybe there are those that won't like you for whatever reason. Who cares.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 06:02 PM
3

I don't know about you but being extremely wealthy could solve a lot of problems on your new journey. I wouldn't worry about whether you're a good person. You'll be fine
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 05:57 PM
2

Just cough and fart at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 01:02 AM
5

"She said she was not going to ..." - It's all bs. Watch what she does not what she says. My advice, unless it helps you solve a legal problem in your state (eg. alimony) I wouldnt go digging or messaging anyone. You'll most likely find stuff and it will be counterproductive. Shes no longer your problem, focus on yourself only and kids if you have any. It sounds like a defeat right now but believe me it's not.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 05:48 AM
5

Yes, do the self improvement stuff, gym, exercise, get new clothes, plan finances and work. Minimize contact with her until you have different living arrangements. You'll be tempted to show her your successes but don't because that part of life is over. No begging and pleading please. Have some self respect.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 07:56 PM
3

Get rid of her...
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 08:00 AM
3

Good work on shedding those pounds. I got on Retatrutide and hitting the gym regularly. Now I'm mainly maintaining weight but I can tell you then once you get in decent shape things will drastically change for you. Keep it up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 04:16 AM
1

If shes asked for a divorce I'd take her seriously. Get a lawyer and find out exactly how this affects you if you wait. I'd assume that if she waiting on it she's just buying time until she lines up a replacement and you're liable for expenses in the meantime. Plan the exit and if you don't need it even better, but most likely you will.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:44 PM
2

Shoes in the dishwasher?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:39 PM
2

I wouldn't beat myself about it. Sometimes doing these wrong things is a catalyst for what was going to blow up anyway 😅 intuition is usually right
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:33 PM
3

Circumstances of why people divorce can vary, so one month each year doesn't make sense imo. If you're enjoying meeting women go do it. If it's a chore and you're unloading all the hurt on the first and second date then you're not ready. Ultimately you'll want to be in a confident and positive state of mind to attract anyone. If you aren't then you are also wasting your time a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:24 PM
3

Try Viagra. With a new partner it helps when you're figuring the body etc. maybe you dont need that much. I take bites of 50mg pills and it's more than enough to make things exciting. Interesting but has helped me with libido too. And honestly, you're not going to be turned on by all women even if they're attractive. Could be a chemistry thing. Things can improve with time with that partner though as you get to know her more. That's my experience anyway
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:13 PM
9

I think leaving isn't a good idea if you want custody of your children. Your kids are almost grown ups. It would help if you can get at least 50/50 custody. That also lowers child support and spousal support too. I suggest getting a lawyer, and act a bit rationally about how you're going to go through the divorce. As hard as it is, I'd leave feelings aside and be prepared for a fight. It sounds like she isn't going to have a problem fighting you. Protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 10:51 PM
1

Sex, attraction, affection, money. If you can't keep all of these up with the same person for years and years then maybe marriage isn't the answer 😅
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:29 AM
3

If her not saying good bye bothers you, just think about her being banged by some dude 2-3 times on the same night probably. She's now your enemy not your friend, unfortunately. Protect yourself and move on please.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 11:48 PM
1

I'd say use the lawyer as a weapon, but play a bit of chess with her. You said she lets the friends watch the kids. Maybe tell her you're ready to give 100% custody and move 😂. Or suggest that she secures the kids' financial future because you won't if she behaves erratically. I know I'll get downvoted but you'll have to figure out a way to make her think. If she knows she's got the upper hand she won't budge, sadly. Lawyer will not be creative with how you solve the problem, they just tell you …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 11:35 PM
5

If you feel like meeting women go do it. There is no set amount of time you have to wait. If you start with low expectations you won't be disappointed. I'm following the common advice "watch what they do not what they say". There are a lot of good women out there but patterns don't lie, and you learn to recognize them... It's difficult to let them come close. Some will walk away, and you have to be ok with that. Welcome to dating 2.0 😅
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 08:41 PM
1

If shes settled with someone then he'd know more about the days and accommodate that maybe? So maybe she's still on dating phase. But who cares... And what's in it for you to allow changing days? I wouldn't be that flexible unless I get something in return for it. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 08:07 PM
8

Late 30s and a smoker, not attractive
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 11:37 PM
3

There is no reason to not stay civil with her family, mainly ex parents in law, especially if you have young children. They know their daughter so don't worry about the drama with her. You just maintain your cool, casual conversation is ok. They might end up helping out with grandchildren. If not then I don't see the point of discussing them 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 11:09 PM
1

It's time for a change. Cut her loose, she's no longer your concern. It's ok to feel pain from betrayal, but try to redirect that to self improvement, gym, work, money, maybe a side business, eat healthy, no substances. You need to rise above this to get out of this hell hole. If you stick to this process you'll come out a whole different person you didn't believe you could be. She's just some chick...
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 07:17 PM
3

Yep totally true. But it's a chicken and the egg thing. If she suddenly started hanging out with divorcees maybe she joined their orbit and not the other way around. Regardless it won't help the marriage that's for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 11:57 PM
3

It's terrifying at first but honestly it's not complicated. Doing laundry, preparing food, it feels like a difficult task but you'll learn things pretty quickly... For me it's been a lot of parks, get a ball, throw some rocks on the water, maybe even get some snacks and a speaker and play some good tunes at a park. It doesn't have to be special, just spend time together doing stuff you both enjoy. You'll be busy, but as the kid grows up things will get much easier
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 12:12 AM
2

I'm not saying walk away to fuck other women and be happy. You'd be walking away because she's having phone sex and that's plain disrespect. Disrespect you cannot allow.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 04:22 PM
2

That's a truck load of issues. The other side is tough but then you will no longer have to deal with these issues. With time you might realize it's the best decision you ever made.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 03:51 PM
2

... And then there will be more harsh words about how she was gangbanging, and maybe even some bragging about how many more partners she's had. She's trash and that's where she belongs sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:21 PM
3

I go above and beyond but mom doesn't need to know about it. That just sets the precedence that I will now go above and beyond and she can relax and buy nothing. Stuff like clothing, shoes, and basic needs she should take care of 50/50. That's what child support is for. Half of my stuff that she was "entitled" to... Where is that going? How about contributing to RESP and child savings, maybe even plan to leave inheritance to the child, is she doing any of that or will all of that be gone in fun …
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 12:51 AM
4

I totally get the part where you need to heal and yes resentment will wear off eventually. However, you also have to recognize the clues that you're being used as an ATM and when connection isn't genuine. If you distance yourself because of that, and honestly I have several times, then that's not just on you. The reality is that most women date up, want some sort of security and that's usually financial. Well... Knowing this you can navigate accordingly. I like to pay for dates, that's just me. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:01 AM
3

You don't need a relationship if you're just dating and having sex. It's obviously a lot more work, but if having variety scratches your itch then that's one way to go that doesn't involve prostitutes. I mean, I'm learning charlie Sheen did a lot of them though. Maybe he just got tired of showing up 😂
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:05 AM
3

No kids and bad marriage? My man, there are plenty of other women out there... If you don't feel peace at home it's time to rip the bandaid.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:41 PM
9

Completely oblivious to where she's at. What clicked on her head? It was getting rammed by another dude, or the idea of it. Yes I feel bad for her, but in the long run you get what you deserve 😅
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 05:29 PM
7

Being noticed by attractive women. Takes a serious amount of effort but it's a whole new perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 12:15 AM
9

If you're asking about urges without a partner you know the answer. I mean... Can't you do casual dating, fuck buddies?
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 05:00 AM
1

It does get easier when you rise above it. It does take a bit of transformation on your part to get there and it does take time. Follow advice here, go to gym, self improvement to the max, you'll be ok. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 11:09 PM
2

Do some pretty risky crypto trades. You usually "lose" money with crypto 😅 ... but honestly better check with lawyer, I heard that judges do look for large sums moving around.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 04:32 AM
1

I thought you meant offsprings, all from different bio dads.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 06:30 PM
10

I haven't been called that but it's an overused term these days. Basically if you put yourself first and have firm boundaries you're now a narcissist. Yeah sure...
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 11:40 PM
2

I don't know your whole situation with custody etc, but personally I think people that do better than average financially become targets that the system does not necessarily protect. When this happens it's kind of a learning experience, and maybe you take matters into your own hands from that point on...
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 06:50 AM
15

Wow. This is just a reminder that men should be veeeery careful out there. Sorry to hear this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 03:19 AM
7

Well it's certainly not a rational decision they're making. They're not strategizing how they're going to get railed by someone and not get in trouble. They do it with zero accountability so it must be emotion 😅
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 03:50 PM
1

I don't discuss this kind of stuff with women... My sister holds these views that men are kind of useless today unless they "handle" things for a woman. All I think about in silence is "good luck paying for your dinner". I love her but that's just the way it is. We all have roles you know 😅
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 04:22 AM
1

Quoting Seinfeld. You do it in one motion... "Write-offfff" 😅 if this isn't going to work and you dont want to prolong it then don't.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:54 AM
2

Dude your kids are going to college and you're thinking ketamine as a solution? No. I did just fine with student loans as a kid. My parents tried but just couldn't figure it out for me. I dont blame them for it. And I am doing just fine financially. You need to take care of yourself. I think your job is done here. My 2c
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:30 AM
1

Get advice from a lawyer first and then you can consider talking to her about terms. The only benefit I see for discussing terms without lawyers is to avoid unnecessary lawyer fees, huge delays, and also you can be creative with your proposal while lawyers usually dont do that. I negotiated removing alimony and contributing towards my son's investments or we'd waste all of it fighting. She took that offer. Ultimately, if things are in the best interest of the kid it could be less friction. Judge…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:26 AM
2

Gym at least twice a week. Some cardio, hikes, biking or whatever you do for cardio. Catch-up with old friends and do fun stuff with them, maybe golf. Improve your home, upgrade your work situation, maybe an idea for side business, how can you double your income? Travel a bit with friends. Sprinkle some dating and fun time and you practically have no more time left.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:12 AM
4

On (1) I don't do that for many reasons but I understand some are fine taking those risks. On (2) I can tell you that most women are going to put pressure on relationship or marriage. I'd say stick to your principles and dont allow being coerced into it. This could be my personal experience, but every time I accepted something like this their behavior changes for the worse. It seems like you've just given the power to them and now they're looking for the next thing they can get. Typically in thi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 12:58 AM
2

Had the same issue with attraction. She wasn't putting effort in her appearance. Then kid happened and I stuck around as an obligation more than anything. I mean eventually family can be a substitute for other women to some degree honestly, that's fun too. But attraction is an important detail and I think these sort of relationships are bound to fail.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 06:17 PM
1

Or retatrutide. That stuff is magic!
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 06:08 PM
3

Yes. It's a legitimate reason. Or you can wait it out until she snaps out of it and starts improving herself. With some support from her divorced friends she might then divorce you 😅 Really though, you have to understand that you'll constantly be looking at other women and that will bring more conflict. If you don't have kids don't do it until you know what you're going to do. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 06:05 PM
9

Maybe it's different for other people but money was the main reason why divorce was ugly for me. The other one had to do with pushing parenting responsibilities my way. Don't get me wrong but when you've been in a somewhat traditional marriage where the man goes out and slays dragons for the family and the woman takes care of the family at home, divorce shocks you with a different reality where now you can no longer do that. Meanwhile she's going out with AP, probably with "your money". as unpop…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 08:54 PM
2

All of this is sounding very familiar, as if I wrote it. Peace is important. I noticed that once you enter some sort of routine with a woman there are going to be some implicit expectations. That could be time, attention, experiences, maybe buy her dinner, maybe some creative cheap date that's fun. It's fun, sex is necessary, but I'm not spending the "entire" weekend with a woman... Instead of coming up with excuses I found that being upfront about it is okay, today is my golf day, I have Friday…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 08:01 AM
12

Things are amicable if you're getting a bad deal. Get a lawyer and listen. Now suggest what the lawyer told you and see how amicable things are. I'm saying, you take care of yourself now because shes already doing the same.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 07:31 AM
15

Only regret is not doing it sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 09:07 AM
2

He seems like a nice guy and he's got my ex as a prize. What good would come from actually meeting him? I think I'm just not going to rock the boat, wish them all the best. Maybe take the trash on the way out. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 08:58 AM
6

Things always start with amicable. Protect yourself because her story may change a few times as you're going through this. Once you get ink on paper you can breathe...
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 06:51 PM
1

I wouldnt call that romanticizing divorce. I'd say they've awakened 😅. Good luck to you, I know it sucks but it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 02:07 AM
1

When I hear no kids I always think - lucky guy just dodged a bullet. Really though, it's a lot more complicated with kids. Women move on faster, it's just the way it is. Treat this as a learning experience, and a gift, and use your time to max self improvement in all disciplines. You've got lots of runway. And... go get a 23 a year old :)
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 03:14 AM
7

Is losing half my stuff considered ruined? I mean it stings but I'm on a path to make that again. Having said that though, I was more grounded and disciplined while married. Now it all feels like a hustle, mainly due to time constraints.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 01:25 AM
2

That's exactly it. I regret accommodating that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:44 AM
12

Ive never heard the part about "maybe she'll notice the difference". You do this for yourself which translates to a higher market value for other women as a bi product. Forget her, you really won't want her back anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 07:29 AM
2

If you're planning to have kids know that things are a lot more complicated then. I've heard many men stick around because they feel obligated to do this, but this is a pretty bad reason imo.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:14 AM
2

First, get a lawyer and get some legal advice. Second, don't leave your matrimonial home, that can be seen as abandonment by court. Third, if you're thinking of divorce plan your exit quietly and serve her once you are ready and well prepared. Unfortunately setting boundaries this late in marriage is unlikely to be well received, so that's what you'll be stuck with or worse actually. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 01:11 AM
3

She has already checked out. Arguments have nothing to do with it but another dude might. No need to discuss things. Protect yourself immediately, get a lawyer and plan your exit quietly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 05:51 PM
8

Lol. She has clearly not gotten over the breakdown of marriage. Ignore these games, you know better. Strictly business, about kids only.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 05:42 PM
1

I mean... emotionally ready isn't something that I'd expect to hear from divorced men honestly, knowing they've got burnt once. It has more to do with how I can protect myself, my assets, my time and my peace. It's a huge liability and whoever walks into this I hope at least they are doing that with eyes wide open.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:03 AM
0

I think you misunderstood my comment but anyway, yes that's a good point too
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 11:09 PM
1

I think this is a journey you take alone. I wouldn't worry about what others think. You will come out much stronger, and people will notice, but again what they think is not your concern. Worry about you only and hold yourself accountable for your sake.That's how I would think about it anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 11:01 PM
3

Everytime I hear the you-dont-nees-a-man talk I propose splitting the bill. Have fun paying for your dinner , or ramen I should say 😅
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 10:50 PM
9

Yep. they run their clock on you, delay things, focus on useless things, promise you more than they can deliver, influence you to fight, etc. these are the bad things but there are also a lot of useful things. Don't be afraid to change the lawyer if you think they're not the right fit. I don't know if this is true for everyone but for me it was useful to gather all the legal facts and work out my own offer, and use him as a deterrent quite frankly. Having no lawyer is a sure way to get run over.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:48 AM
4

No because she threatened to use the silver bullet 😅. I dont forget that kind of stuff. But for my kid, of course I'll do anything for him if his mom can't afford it. Saddest part is that she's actually not a bad person. Funny how divorce brings the worst in people, I'm glad that part is over.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 04:06 AM
1

I had plenty of luck with Hinge. You just have to learn how to filter out potential bad dates. High interest is almost always guaranteed to be a waste of time, which I don't have. Depends what you're looking for honestly... Can't say I met any LTR material there. You can just tell the volume of dudes these go through 😅
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 01:14 AM
0

Not much you can do about this. But as Tate says, he's got no beef with him if he wants to drop his son at school. Maybe get him to fold his clothes too 😅
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 09:12 PM
1

If it's a large amount I think it makes sense to look at her contributions and see if you can get something out of it. lifestyle and vacations wasn't something I had interest in going to court about though. That's especially when I noticed she wants more that 50/50 custody, probably to bump her child/spousal support. Plus add more delays to divorce process. If it's not a huge amount I'd just write it off and move on with life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 11:53 PM
1

Well actually if it's marital home she'll still need to buy him out. I owned my previous property and had to give her half of that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 11:11 AM
5

She said "our relationship Is over". Well it is isn't it? 😅 Amicable divorces are a myth. If it seems amicable you're probably being taken advantage of. Lawyer up and expect some turbulence. Once the divorce is over you might end up in some cordial relationship for the kids but right now she could care less about any relationship with you, co-parenting or otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 11:07 AM
1

I tried to drag it to get a better deal. I sort of did fine there, but in retrospect it's a waste of energy. In the end you pay her and move on, and that alone is worth the price tag. I mean do you really want that shitty attitude at home, and I guarantee you it will get a LOT worse if you play that game. I mean ... false DV accusations even. Maybe even pay extra for the time you drag it out. I'd just exit swiftly if I could.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:20 AM
1

It looks like you haven't found a lawyer yet but you're agreeing to moving out? I'd get some advice on how to proceed.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:02 AM
1

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 04:59 AM
2

You're not ready to date, and at this low confidence state you'll be wasting a lot of money on dates without seeing the return you want. Work on yourself as much as you can to a point where you "know" women will find you desirable. I've tried dates where I didn't have a proper place to invite them to and a belly fat I had to hide. I could still get them but a cheap bottle of wine at the beach would have not worked then, im very sure about that. Once you get your confidence back, look good, it is…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 04:51 AM
12

Just remember that she's just some chick. And you go bang some chicks too.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 11:21 AM
9

I never bring up relationship. They have to bring it up. And when they do, I set the boundaries. I'll have to lay it out there... Guys want sex, women want relationships. This is not true generally, but usually it is. If they don't like the boundaries, good riddance.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 09:10 PM
2

It's sex for men, and lack of options willing to keep her for women. Most people eventually settle for the best they think they can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 01:13 PM
5

Time will fix things but also try to have small wins every day. That helps. For me it's been getting in better shape, improving my place, renovations, work, and ... actually dating 🤷‍♂️. It's maybe not for everyone but it's a way to meet new people, have some fun, sex, will take your mind off things.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 08:32 AM
3

Lol this is the craziest story I've heard. Curious what state you're in? It might have to do with alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 08:21 AM
12

I just didn't like her anymore. And maybe at some point she didnt either. Lesson: never settle for "good enough". I'd rather be single.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 08:11 AM
1

As silly as it may sound I was listening to Andrew Tate and stoic rules on a daily basis. Gym and work is also your distraction from this not just part of rebuilding. Do it for that reason when you're feeling this way. Every rapid ends, it gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 06:50 AM
2

When you know you're at the point of no return.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 07:21 PM
4

One solution to this, as unpopular as it may sound, is to bang hotter women. Improve yourself, go to gym, make money type of advice is for YOU, but it just happens that you'll get higher quality women this way too.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 02:09 PM
2

I think the first thing in your mind should be self improvement. Gym, make money, nice clothing, look good. Then you'll start having a few wins, maybe a few fun dates, maybe bring them to your house after. Keep doing that and confidence will be back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 09:54 AM
1

I think men don't have time to deal with that. if that helped improve their game and get more sex sure, but no time to be preoccupied with bs. 😅 Having said that though, I do enjoy sharing dating stories with single friends. It can be entertaining.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 10:33 PM
5

This sounds familiar to me. If you dont have kids, do not waste your time, it doesn't get better. If you do, it's harder but yes it still does matter. If you don't do it, one day she might replace you, cost you a bunch of money and blame you for not supporting her. That can really mess with your head 😅
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 12:31 AM
7

100% on (2). It's fun to have a drink or two, or share a bottle of wine at the beach. Brownie points for a creative date. But there are sometimes road checks even in broad daylight. Never doing that again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 08:11 PM
4

He avoids me. I mean I'll gladly give her to him... He seems like a good guy though
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 11:55 PM
7

"we suffer more in imagination than in reality" - Seneca She's probably getting her back blown, and most likely was a while ago when you separated. Women don't go to convent when they're separating. Having said that, shes might not be having the best time of her life either. Maybe she's getting used, dumped by first bf, dumped by second, broke, nobody takes her on vacation, car troubles, wine boxes, neglecting kids seemingly. More importantly kids are seeing this, your older one at least. So jus…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 07:57 PM
1

What are the issues? Rather than suggest breaking the family I'd consider thinking rationally about it. Try to fix things and give it the time you think it needs for you to see the results. In the meantime, plan for the worst and talk to a lawyer about options. Once both of you start messing around with other people you can call it a wrap.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 06:36 AM
3

I wouldn't underestimate freedom. You could have stuck around, monogamous, bent over backwards, to keep things together and would have gotten no respect for it. And that actually gets you less freedom than you had when things were good. Is it worth it? Just saying...
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 06:13 AM
4

Men are like dogs. They stick around no matter how bad it is. If you're asking whether I'd sleep with her again, the answer is yes. But she'd probably end up in my friend zone, and this time it wouldn't take years to figure that out. I mean she is a good woman with good values etc, just got a bit comfortable and called me comfortable. Go figure..
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 06:59 AM
2

Dating apps are not easy, but if you put in the effort and have good pictures you will have more dates. It's a numbers game and women get a lot of messages there. Many will flake, many you won't like, just stick to the process :) You just gotta keep trying, maybe get a paid membership. hinge works for me. Other places, social events and parties, social media, friend circles, all good options but better women but this takes a while... Honestly, if you keep doing gym and try to look good, groomed …
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 01:46 AM
3

Financially you are f**ed so you'll have to be creative and fight hard to protect your assets and try to keep those payments low. Get a lawyer and consider all the options. On the side try to diffuse the situation and see if you can calm her down. Just say that you'll be co-parenting and want to have a good co-parenting relationship and it's all about the kids. You'll need to work out an agreement, parenting plan etc, hopefully without courts because that will be expensive. Doesn't look like rep…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 07:12 PM
5

I think dating, relationships, validation you get, has changed quite a bit from the old days where there were no dating apps, social media, and women needed security from men. There is a lot more entitlement today. Women are "wanting" things now and not "needing" things. Men have figured this out and are now withholding commitment because of that. At the end of the day dating, relationships, validation you get is a marketplace. If divorces are becoming a trend there will be less marriages. My ne…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 04:49 PM
2

Just don't marry. Problem solved.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 09:39 PM
5

To answer your question, every time I tried dating a single mom it ended up being a huge waste of time. I'm not generalizing, I'm just sharing my experience. To be fair, women have also experienced the same thing with some men. Exceptions are obviously possible, but then you also have to realize that some women just won't want to date a single dad. Ive learnt to be okay with that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 09:32 PM
4

Fitness is a game changer. I don't mean just being lean. I thought getting some extra muscle is a stupid look but it actually works better for me. Youre much younger than me, but getting hair in turkey if your hair is receding. Money does help seal the deal, can't discount that. Commenters here are saying dont appear thirsty, act confident, etc etc. Unfortunately this isn't easy to teach and fake. If you're naturally doing that it means you've been out there dating quite a bit, outcome of a date…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 09:00 PM
1

AMS is entertaining on YouTube. Rollo, rich cooper, George Bruno, taraban. I wouldn't dwell much on how ruthless the world out there is though. It sure does help spot the BS though, and there is A LOT of that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:10 AM
8

I hate to break it to you but women rarely leave to go soul searching. Usually there's some dude around in her orbit. It's painful at first but you'll come out stronger from this. Most in this sub have gone through this so you're not alone. And she's right about one thing, don't ever bend backwards for a woman. Not only they don't find that attractive, but it's not good for you either.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 08:12 PM
5

I heard stories where they'd hit the wall and do false DV accusations. I'd put cameras and record everything. My ex is not close to how you describe yours and even she threatened she'll try something like this. Thankfully that's all over now and we're in much better terms, but this stuff can get you locked up if she's crazy enough...
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 05:40 PM
4

Your wallet and passports were gone? So what are you supposed to do now, go claim it lost and get a new one? Might be a coincidence but if she's lost your passport that is a serious matter. Sounds like you dont have kids with her? Imagine how things could go if she plays these games with your kids. Tough call ..
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 08:11 PM
8

Get ripped, lift heavy stuff. Makes a difference every time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 01:41 AM
3

Thanks for this, amen. I was expecting that around the end of your post you'd say something like "I'm never considering marriage again as I couldn't be happier being divorced", which in a way it sure sounds like it 😁
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 02:55 AM
3

You gave the best answer one could give. Married women dont seek validation from other men. That doesn't mean she'll now listen and not make one. Welcome to the crazy world we live in today. "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.". Your daughter is 21. Get your ducks in a row and then navigate from there. The only thing women respect is strength 😅
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 07:55 PM
9

Do not leave your own home. Get a lawyer ASAP and prepare for a rough ride ahead. If someone asks you to leave your home there isn't anything to salvage there. Protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 01:03 AM
1

Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally -- Chris rock. Learn from this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 09:32 AM
1

The fact that she has the funds but you don't tells me you should probably get a lawyer. Borrow if you have to, even if it's a 1 hour consultation session.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 06:18 PM
4

Not sure why you've settled for this person, and no judgement here. But I think you'd be better off with your dog alone. Lawyer is a must for protecting your assets. Execute swiftly and get out. You have no kids so there is no reason to drag this too long. No confronting, no discussions, no telling her boss, unless lawyer advised you to. It's a mistake not hiring a lawyer IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 05:59 PM
1

Why do you want her to know you know? Unless it helps you in any way, which usually it doesn't, I wouldn't bother with that. That will just lift her ego and will be completely useless to you. Just shift your focus on living your life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 10:05 AM
3

Freedom alone is worth the price. Do what you like and connect with like minded people, improve yourself every day. Workout, eat and sleep well, make more money, you'll be fine. Planning your life yourself as opposed to being in someone else's plans is quite a powerful thing!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 12:40 AM
3

I think most men know the risk, but they choose to ignore it. It's lack of experience, and understanding of who you are and what you're capable of. You sometimes need to go through loss, a lot of pain, to bounce back to where you should be. Basically replace lack of options with plenty of options, be selective, pick stuff you want not what's thrown at you, live a life of abundance. This is not stuff that can be taught, you have to go through it to really learn it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 09:14 PM
1

How much are you making and why aren't you going for 50/50 custody? Just because she's asking for it doesn't mean you're obligated to give that to her. It is stressful but you'll have to push back a lot and probably meet somewhere in the middle.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 06:32 PM
3

Same age, I do well for myself, have a 6 year old. I have been toying with that idea of having more kids also. Being an older dad doesn't sound ideal but I have friends who had kids around the same age and don't think it's that bad. Having said that, seeing someone in early 30s and expecting her to pull the weight, raise the kid(s), the more traditional way, it seems like a pretty big risk. I'll give it minimum a year of living together before making that decision.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 01:24 AM
4

Of course she would suggest that you don't get a lawyer. Here's what I would do: 1) get a lawyer now, it's worth it 2) see what the most likely outcome will be and compare that with the offer her lawyer has given you 3) hopefully you won't have to engage with her lawyer? Maybe the two lawyers can broker a deal? 4) get what you're entitled to by law. If tables were turned she would do the same. I guarantee this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 09:16 PM
4

If anyone says any of those things you walk away. She's right about the second one in that list. You earn her respect by dumping her. When she comes back to you, you dump her again. Sounds like you found your peace though. I hope you didn't buy her a house. That would have been a disaster.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 01:17 AM
3

Yes. Don't agree to this. You'll want weekends for yourself too to go out and socialize, meet friends, a party, women, activities. Some things are not as fun on weekdays. Her reasons are pure bs.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 10:15 AM
4

If you decide to live with her then it's practically marriage. Since you have a kid it's a good enough reason to suggest a prenup. I totally get it that this spoils the mood but sounds like both of you have gone through divorces so that should be common sense.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 09:54 AM
1

I think gym and some sort of physical activity is the best thing to get your mind off things. It helps to look at the new badass in the mirror.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 03:01 AM
3

She sounds like a good woman.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 01:12 AM
9

A thief thinks that everyone else is a thief. She tried catching you...
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 07:46 PM
1

I can relate to this. I spent all my energy the first year, made some really good progress all around actually. But I'm feeling burnt out... It doesn't seem sustainable. It helps to have small wins though, fitness level getting better before summer, new better place, should be grateful. I need to find better ways to seek and get help. I'd even pay for it but even that takes coordination. Maybe it gets easier when the kid is older. Maybe I need to stop dating for a bit, that takes time too...
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 08:56 AM
1

This. Either that, or you're not taking advantage of what you're entitled to (if she makes more money). Amicable is a myth when money is on the line. That's what I found out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 08:37 AM
30

She's seeing someone else. Women dont typically leave until they've secured a replacement. Where a lot of men go wrong is when they put the woman on pedestal because it's 'the right thing to do'. It isn't. I could even argue it's an invitation for disrespect. The best thing you can do right now is put yourself first, self improvement, your kids. Shes no longer your concern. Thank goodness she's doing well in her career so you hopefully dont have to pay her like some do. Stick to your priorities …
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 08:30 AM
2

Lift heavy weights, look good, dress well, fix your financial situation, learn stuff and upgrade your career, consider a side business, make money. At 32 you have a lot of runway to completely change your life. Let this be a wake up call that you want to not just replace her but do a lot better. Sounds like just nice words but you'll get there if you say focused. Also... She's just some chick dude, don't ever toy with the idea of hurting yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:23 AM
1

You said that most of the friends were hers anyway. You're going to have to let go of some people you knew, but keep those that stuck around. Make new friends and relationships with like-minded people. Dealing with divorce is a solo process unfortunately. I have friends who genuinely care but we've exchanged a few sentences, and that's with folks who have gone through it because they most likely understand it best. I wouldn't put too much thought into it. If she's more integrated in those friend…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 11:49 PM
11

Unlike some commenters here, I think mentioning divorce is telegraphing that it's one of the avenues that she has thought about. As unreal as it sounds you should consider it as a real possibility, and later you won't say I was blindsided. It's hard to say what you should do though... Should you ask for a postnup or just let it slide? Or should you just be aware and prepared so that if that happens you're well protected. Don't be fooled by thinking that it's not a big deal. It is a big deal to m…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 12:28 AM
1

Id say fire this lawyer and hire another. My previous lawyer was lazy. He was more like a weapon that I hoped I wouldn't need to use. As far as the deal with splitting assets, child support, spousal, looking at calculations, statements, I had to practically do all the work myself. At some point he even refused to counter because "it looks like he doesn't know what he's doing". F* that! Lots of money on the line.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 11:30 PM
2

Income difference is pretty significant. Not sure how long you've been together but she'll probably get half, child and spousal support. Get a lawyer and have some strategy on how you can protect your assets. Be prepared for it not to be so pretty... Her cheating is one thing but the liability and how she will flip on you now is another. Your goal: custody and finances, getting out asap. It could end up being okay, for me it was, but not without a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 07:48 AM
23

You bought her an 18k Rolex? Wow that's quite the gift. I guess one of my good decisions I made during marriage was to not hand out any fancy gifts. That's APs responsibility 😅
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 05:22 PM
2

Send her an email and let her know she cannot do that because that's your home and that you want to move back in until the separation agreement and parenting plan is signed. If she's hostile and refuses you can use that in court. I'd talk to lawyer first though
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 01:08 PM
3

I don't understand why you left the marital home. Usually the advice lawyers give is to NOT leave home. I'd try to change something fast, talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 02:45 AM
2

It's perfectly fine to say you dont want to talk to her about anything other than kids. That is the way. Have you signed anything yet? I'm not sure if you can force her out of matrimonial home if you don't have any signed agreement in place. Id focus on getting that moving along first. If she agrees to it without fighting you though, why not. If she already has an apartment what the heck is she doing there anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:29 AM
3

Get another lawyer and see if your goals align with his advice. I wouldn't try one that wants to push too hard either though. That was at least important to me, to avoid courts, and my first lawyer was promising way too much. But that was leading to some dangerous situations. Either way you'll have to pay something. If you find a reasonable lawyer with experience, preferably a partner that cares about reputation, I'd give him a shot
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:20 AM
1

Is she not too? 😅
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:57 AM
1

Keep it fun and easy going while you're dating. If you get cornered with any type of "talk" you can be upfront about it and explain your boundaries. That girl who left because she couldnt make you do what she wanted, will have to be pretty dam impressive when she comes back. If not, Netflix and chill is all she will get 😅
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:48 AM
5

I think we were all fucked at some point, so you're not alone. You'll have to give her half. 50/50 is good because you see your kids often and pay less child support. Lawyer and some creativity can be useful to protect your assets, and that's mainly keeping child support and alimony low. Money and capital will be useful, keep that in mind. Focus on custody, finances and spend time with your kids, document everything. Negotiating on the way out is very stressful, but things do get better, maybe a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 07:03 AM
14

You manage it by being indifferent, working on yourself, and eventually getting a hotter chick. No amount of lingerie will even the score when you replace her with someone better. Women enjoy sticking this in your face. Kind of like "look you had this, you didn't XYZ, and now someone else gets it". Don't get distracted, stay on course and you'll come out ahead trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 02:13 AM
2

That was a joke but makes sense 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 03:31 PM
10

Never getting married makes sense, unless you are remarrying your ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:37 PM
2

50/50, I drop him off to school on her day and she picks him up. Then she drops him off on my day I pick him up at school. 2255 parenting schedule works fine in general. Basic child expenses are covered by child support. She was being petty sending me invoices for clothing and things that child support should cover. I put an end to that, and this makes sense since I pretty much have to duplicate all his clothing to make handoffs smoother, and frankly minimize our interactions. Add-ons and extrac…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 08:12 PM
21

Some do, or at least some divorced women I've met on dates. But overall I think most are delusional and have not learnt their lesson. There is way too much validation and attention from thirsty men out there. Somehow that's supposed to mean they can be entitled and not care, but sadly that's not true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 07:25 PM
9

Everyone's situation is a bit different, but once both parties start sleeping with other people, any relationship you have with that person becomes a liability. If she "left" it's because she thought she could do better, not for the family, but for her self. That hardly sounds like she's going to bring financial security, stability and a prosperous home for kids. I wouldn't say it's impossible, but also you only have one life... 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 06:49 PM
4

I think the question I would ask is what is there to be gained by going back?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 08:45 AM
8

Once you take the trash out you don't take it back in. It's messy, neighbours see you doing it, and just a bad idea all around. That's a write off, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 09:57 PM
3

43 dating a 32. I had far less headaches with younger ones, and it's not just because they look younger. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 05:23 AM
5

She slept with the guy and is keeping him around as a friend and you want that? Maybe it's just me that wouldn't tolerate that, but you worked in family law and you know the type of risk you take on letting her back in. Get rid of her...
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 05:19 AM
1

No way to get the mental clarity you're looking for because that takes time. But you do have your body and things you must do. Workout, gym, build your body, work for money and spend time with the kids if you have any. You'll need all this stuff later when your life gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 04:30 AM
1

If you can go out get women then go get women. If you can't then work on yourself, gym, fitness, nice clothes, and then get women. This sort of thinking could lead you to a year long draught. It's not like those kitties are just lying around waiting to jump on your lap 😂
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 07:44 PM
1

I've always had a good work ethic and potential to earn, but after separation I came to this sub, followed a few men's podcasts, read a few books. I started to embrace "do the work" kind of mentality, gym, dropped weight and gained muscle, more focus on business and work, met women, and started living the present on my terms. When you do this for a period of time you start stacking successes and develop an abundance mindset. That alone is a lot farther than where I would have been while married,…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:46 PM
1

Pain involved in a life event like divorce can actually propel you a lot farther than a nice easy comfortable life. Maybe not exactly like breaking bad but kind of. "Now I see" 😂
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 05:43 PM
1

I'll tell you how... Never make your wife or gf a purpose. She should join you on your purpose not be your purpose. Trying to get even achieves nothing. Focus on finding that purpose, be fit, make money, live well. That's going to be the best for you, AND it might do what youre asking for too.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 05:14 PM
1

This is out of your control unfortunately. I had issues with this at first, but the guy seems nice from what I can see so I'm actually ok with it. Just hope she's smart and doesn't let anyone get close to the kids, that's just irresponsible imo. 5-6 months might be ok though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 05:10 PM
2

Every rapid ends. You will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 12:40 AM
2

It is probably one of the most stressful events in life I'd say, so it's normal. I spent weeks stressing out and thinking about what to do to get out of it with my skin. In retrospect, yes I had to pay her but the peace I got after you can't put a price on. You still need to go through it though... Getting a good deal for yourself is important. They'll shoot for everything but you don't give what they ask and counter. It's like bargaining at the car dealership I find, unless you're dealing with …
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 12:30 AM
2

You do have to share your tax returns but it's perfectly reasonable to ask hers as well. If you're not playing ball things can get ugly but I dont think you need to rush and get a lesser deal because of fear of what she might do. You kind of need to evaluate yourself the motive for advice he's giving. I had a lawyer who would push me to be unreasonable and aggressive. At the end she charged me a bunch of money for literally printing a financials doc that I pretty much filled myself. Some would r…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 11:54 PM
10

I think the best revenge is a combination of success and absolute indifference. And if you can do this without feeling resentful about the whole thing it's great for you because it keeps you in a positive energy. Who cares what she thinks...
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 08:29 PM
5

Women (and maybe men too) that act this way are pushing you away so that it's your fault and not hers when divorce happens. It's not that she refuses to understand it, but she knows it very well and does not care. There is a difference there. It's hard to say file when you have a 2 year old, but getting treated like trash is no way to live either. You'll need to decide...
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 02:35 AM
2

There is still gold in the trash. Keep looking though 😅 Single moms are fine to date but a relationship i'd pass on. And it's not about the kid, but more about availability. If I use sex as one of the things women can offer during dating, I have way more success with younger women with no children than older women with children. You'd think it'd be the opposite but it's not. They might still miss me and send me all these cute messages, but they're too busy and it gets tiresome.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 09:48 PM
1

You don't have to raise another man's child. Single mommies need some action too you know... 😅 But yes if you're thinking a relationship then I agree.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 09:32 PM
2

As long as you're nice to her she doesn't have any incentive to destroy your life, which I assume if she wanted revenge or something like that. Mine was talking about a divorce like it's some kind of promotion where I give her whatever she wants and she'll be on her way. Once you start talking about finances, custody, and focus on your own self-interest you will start seeing the true colors. If you can keep it this way, great, but make sure you get legal advice on everything and pull the trigger…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 06:55 PM
13

There isn't anything nobel about sacrificing your needs and wants to save the marriage that's not working. If tables were turned you'd be surprised how fast she would drop you and move on. You hear about it in this sub all the time. How would she feel if you were getting outside action? I haven't seen that work in practice but I'd be curious if a woman would be up for it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 08:07 AM
7

I think what's really misguided is the belief that in their 50s theyll get nonsexual attention too. You'd think they know that's not how it works, but some really do believe it. That's kind of like rich 50 year old men thinking the 20 year old babe is with them because of their looks and charm.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 08:07 AM
2

Start a side hustle or business, sell stuff, build stuff. If that starts to make money even better, you'll get a kick out of that for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 07:22 AM
3

Usually it's too late to rekindle anything, sorry. She's checkout out already and probably has done other dudes or is planning to. Have some self respect, no begging or pleading. If you want respect back you get that by being indiffernt selfish a**hole. Funny how that works...
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 07:12 AM
3

I can't stand hearing 'stbx is kicking me out'. Unless there is a risk of DV she cannot kick you out of your own home. Talk to a lawyer and get legal advice! From other comments I see she's being mean to you. This comes from the playbook. Keep discussions to minimum and plan your exit swiftly. She's gone, now you focus on you. Treat this like a car accident that's about to happen. You don't think about the car but you save yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 05:58 PM
1

Not quite following, but I assume that would improve something? 😅
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 04:56 PM
4

If she's going to explore the hotel at 12:43 she's a keeper.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 12:03 PM
1

On my days I set up a few dates, some fall through and if they do I go for a bike ride, started running recently, maybe a walk and get some food with a podcast. Socialize a bit with old friends, you need to keep that going even if you sometimes dont feel like it. Sometimes I take my laptop and pick a coffee shop to do some work on my side gig. Yes empty home eats me too but Im usually just spending evenings there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 10:06 PM
1

I don't know what you mean by lawyers involved. It doesn't mean you have to fight to get legal stuff sorted. I suggest you get all the legal advice you can get and then decide what's best for you and your kids. Things can be a lot more stressful when you don't know what your options are, especially if things get sour.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 09:56 PM
7

If you want to know what to do next, find out who's she been sleeping with and it will clear things up for you pretty quickly. Shed abandoned the family for some new d** and wants to remain friends. Fuck that. Cordial is fine and about kids only. The rest is someone else's problem. Once she cheats it's over, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 09:46 PM
3

This just takes time, no way around it. Fast forward to where I'm at, 1 year post divorce, I've met many attractive women, dating is fun, not looking to commit right now because I actually enjoy being single and having a variety of women in my life, and yes now I am sleeping with women I date while my ex has a bf, getting fat and comfortable. Today, I wouldnt even date her. My point being, things will change if you keep going, self improvement journey... This is all temporary. My advice id also …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 05:22 PM
5

It sucks, but you have two choices: dwell on the past and think about all the betrayal, or work towards rebuilding, make money, workout, meet beautiful women. I've done both, and I can tell you the latter works! You've got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 04:41 PM
2

Every rapid ends, just stay afloat while you're going through it. Keep going, don't look back. You'll be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:39 AM
15

So the guy is getting divorced and wants to marry your ex? Whats with these guys not wanting to stay single, at least for a bit. Sounds like someone without many options. Know this OP, and go get yourself a better woman.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:19 AM
3

You still need to talk to her but keep it about kids only, parenting schedule etc, and that's it. You think you want to work this out but really you don't. Write off! and move on with your new life. You'll be okay.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 06:25 AM
7

How many eggplants in her does it take for you to not want her back ? Answer is no.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 06:30 PM
2

Paraphrasing somebody, I don't know who: women know exactly who they are going to *** when they leave the relationship. It's foolish to think they're leaving so they can be alone, unless there is really some sort of abuse happening. That just does not happen. It's possible, but I've never seen it happen.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:51 PM
3

I wouldn't want to give advice on whether asking for post-nup is a good idea. I'm pretty sure no woman that earns less is going to like it. But I can say this... If she asked or threatened with divorce I would take her seriously. She might not do it now, but she will do it once she feels it's safe for her to do so. I'd talk to a lawyer first on what's at stake and what you can do about it first.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:42 PM
11

I think calling men abusive is the sure way to preserve reputation, which is something that's very important to women. I mean sure not doing laundry and dishes could be a reason but no one is going to justify that as a reason when they learn very soon that she's banging the coworker. But if you're abusive then it's perfectly justified.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:32 PM
1

I'm working out, 50/50 with my kid, work and a side business, dating multiple women and trying to stay on top of my old social life - friends and family. It feels like this many things will make life interesting but I'm starting to burn out a bit. Keep working out though, I slowed it down this year and I'm seeing why things worked out for me so well last year. It's been my main motivator for other things too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 08:59 AM
6

Sleepover with moms. Is she 15? I think that's kind of trying to set the stage for her to do whatever she wants, including being her AP home if there is an opportunity. Just focus on divorce dude, I'd ignore the bs.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:20 PM
1

Not sure I agree with do it yourself resolution. I'm not saying get an a**hole lawyer that wants to fight, but definitely get a lawyer, get solid advice and then try to work out a resolution that's good for the kids, and you. I've read stories of men getting decimated during divorce, usually financially. It all depends who you're dealing with, amicable deal sounds great in theory but it's quite rare. In retrospect, I think a lot of stress was unnecessary so I do partially agree.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 05:43 AM
0

In most cases this is betrayal and not cheating. It can happen when men do it too but usually it's men who are providers and working hard for the family. So they end up getting used and eventually have the rug pulled underneath. Typical monkey branching scenario coming from the playbook. This was probably me at some point but usually women say its done before it actually is. You ask a few more questions and stuff just keeps coming out 😅
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 11:31 PM
2

Q1: Just tell them you're divorcing. No point in mentioning cheating since she'll be in your kids life and might at some point have to interact with your family. She can maintain a cordial relationship with your family. Q2: I never mention that ex cheated. I never mention things I did. It's kind of like going to a job interview and revealing red flags that might indicate you can't do your job well. I just say we got disconnected and that's that. Divorce does come up in dates, but no need to dwel…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 12:58 AM
3

Congrats. That's a good outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:52 PM
2

Oh there was hypergamy, there just wasn't a better offer on the table 😅
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 06:40 AM
1

Does she work? What is the difference in income? If she's spending more than you and trying to control the money put the foot down and say no, but just be careful how hard you push. I'd consult a lawyer in the meantime, before making changes like moving money around. I know it can be upsetting to be in the situation but you need to think long term. Decisions now could determine how child support and probably spousal will work and it might not be easy to change after. Quietly plan the exit with a…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 02:03 AM
3

I'd say the same thing but after a couple shots of vodka :) This is hard to hear while you're going through it. But with time you'll come to agree with it. I'd just add that the earlier you start the better, because you'll be reaping the rewards sooner. Staying stuck is a dangerous position to be in.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 09:43 PM
3

You feel unwanted, unloved, used. You can't afford to think about her feelings, sorry. Protect yourself with a lawyer first then proceed in any way you like. I know amicable in theory is possible, but just hearing what I've heard I believe it's a myth. This is especially the case when money and custody is on the line.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 06:38 AM
6

I dont think they got it any easier. Divorced men have learnt their lesson, are working on themselves, rebuilding, and being better men, dating younger, but they won't fall on the same trap again. Women now have to deal with "that", or have to settle for something less who they'll probably cheat on anyway given the opportunity. Sounds kind of rough if you ask me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 03:22 AM
6

It does... But you can always choose if you want to tolerate it or not. If someone is constantly coming to you with bad behavior you walk away or fire them. And you do that now as opposed to later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 07:52 PM
12

I have learnt one strategy for setting and maintaining boundaries. Dont reward bad behavior! It works
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 06:39 PM
18

I think it takes a divorce or a serious breakup to start learning and paying attention to things we should have paid attention to long ago. This led me to listening to hours of podcasts about women behavior, not just because I'm butthurt and am afraid of it happening again, but because I actually want to understand it. I'm muuuch more selective with who I bring into my life, if that ever happens. Before this I was pretty much sleepwalking in relationships while the women were doing their work. I…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 06:16 PM
13

Yes. Divorce unlocked living in abundance for me I'm not going to say it's an easy life, but it is more fulfilling. Having said that though, there is no negotiating, no nagging, no trying to please anyone. When you think about it... that's a lot of work taken off your plate 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:36 AM
9

You don't want to fight over material possessions but you dont want to be a provider... I could be wrong but you will be fighting over material possessions out of necessity. You're a breadwinner and fair split is not going to be a good position to be in. You both want things to be amicable until they're not. Lawyer up ASAP! It's hard to hear that there is no infidelity involved. Unless there are very special circumstances like actual abuse, women always leave because they cheated in one way or a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 06:53 PM
1

Or maybe I tried a few, and I'm now thinking I want a few more 😅
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 10:20 PM
2

There isn't anything you can do about who your son meets when he's with her. Shift your focus towards getting the best outcome in this divorce. This is the right time for it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 06:25 PM
2

Yes. But try to not bring drama into your life. If there's a tendency for drama you should steer clear.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 06:14 PM
1

My ex used to leave used panties around where I would see it, while we were separated but cohabitating. I have no idea what that was about 😂 but I just ignored it and eventually problem went away.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 06:11 PM
11

Ah those weekend trips... One thing I can say is pleading and begging will only make things worse. In this time you show strength not weakness. Give her what she wants and in the meantime improve yourself and show her you can replace her with someone better. Unlikely that will save the marriage but it will get her attention. Sorry bud, it sounds like this is a wrap, it's good to get a lawyer and prepare for what's to come. I know some men try to save the marriage, and I respect that. But just kn…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 05:49 PM
0

You're not wrong. Most women I meet that are my age look bit rough, complain of old age. This has been my experience with online matches I get though. I'm sure there are those that look more youthful, take good care of themselves, which I suspect would be in higher demand. Honestly going younger feels more natural to me. Older ones I've met have a lot of responsibilities, careers, kids, and are generally less fun to be with. Going 10 years younger has given me a lot of flaky behavior which is pr…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 03:19 AM
2

I think divorce will teach you to set boundaries, out of necessity. Like many have said here, you set boundaries with actions not words. In future relationships, you can just pull back, stop calling her, and you'll be amazed how well they understand the boundaries. Not saying be an a**hole but your boundaries are yours, and they need to be respected.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 06:39 AM
0

I'm gonna answer the question in your title. No. If you want to help a woman though, then maybe. But heck what do I know... We know the reality is harsh, but a friend of mine used to tell me... Sometimes they just need a nice story. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 06:15 AM
3

If you've been wondering about it, she's already been there. Point 8 would do it for me. This would be a wrap for me. I'd plan my exit quietly, wouldnt even bother explaining anything to her. Protect yourself. Hire a good lawyer if you can afford it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 08:28 AM
7

How much are you paying? How old are the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 03:51 AM
10

I heard that 80% of women get with 20% of men. If the perception is that you're not in that 20% then it's going to be hard to keep her in her feminine energy. She'll be bossy, and why wouldn't she, she's entitled to half your stuff, child and spousal support likely. On top of that, she can make you work + change the diapers and feed the kids while she goes chasing that 20% so that she feels "happy". It's the entitlement that's the main reason for modern divorce. Do you know how you solve the mod…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 03:00 AM
1

Women have always been the protected sex from way back. With rise of feminism and the modern woman this has expanded to the legal system and is generally accepted as a norm in society. There is no incentive to take accountability for own actions when you know the consequences are minimal. This is why it happens. Let's hypothetically say that we now make prenup mandatory, or paternity tests mandatory, maybe get legal advice prior to getting married. And now consider that women will need to feed t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 10:54 PM
3

Since you are negotiating I'm assuming you haven't signed any agreement yet. It's best to get legal advice and then act using that advice. You have to push back, get creative and get the best deal possible. This was one of the most important decisions I've made, good amount of money is on the line. If this was a poker game I'd say this is the time to go all in or you can play it safe and end up paying for a while. Easier said than done but it's what I did.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 06:38 AM
1

Just pretend you dont know him and collect as much info about his current gf. Second part was a joke but is it really 😅
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:41 PM
2

First, get a new lawyer. You'll need the best advice you can get. Of course the other lawyer is going to try to get everything. You'll need to push back on that. It's best to consult a local lawyer, but judges may use average income in the last 2 or 3 years. If she made more money than you at some point then this could lower your child support. This is what a good lawyer can do for you. Show her that this is what she'll probably get and compare that to 100k in court fees. Why are you giving her …
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 04:35 AM
8

Look at the bright side maybe. Your kids are 18+ and will do whatever they want now. You are free to do whatever you please and won't have to see her ever again. I often envy folks that can fly across the world and come back 4 months later, but with a 6 year old and 50/50 it's not easy to pull off...
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 02:25 AM
6

First, I'm sorry. Most in the sub have gone through this though, so this isn't something weird that's happening. Solo birthday means she has an eye on new dick or has already been there. I'm not going to sugar coat this. The sooner you realize this the faster you'll be able to move on. When women pull the plug, you, love, ceremonies, mean nothing to them. Just accept it and move on. No pleading and begging, just focus on you now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 10:46 PM
3

I think some of this could have to do with anxiety. Ive tried Viagra before recreationally and I've noticed a spike in sex drive as well for a couple days at least. If it wasn't for the side effects (sometimes blood pressure drop and dizziness) I'd try it every time. You can also do smaller dozes like 25mg, that does also help. But this could just be my experience though.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:31 AM
3

This is the kind of case where I think grey rock is your best bet. You need to get out of this situation, anything else you do is probably not a good choice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 09:05 AM
11

Basically that's another way of saying "I'm not happy". We all know that playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 06:33 AM
1

I might even agree with you. This isn't DivorcedWomen sub though 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 10:52 PM
3

😂 this is a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 08:58 AM
1

Yes but that's not what she says. Keeping it together means working hard, feeding the kids, cleaning the house, cooking and trying not to piss her off because she's unhappy and wants new d*k. fuck that. I mean... I'm just keeping it real. Kids that age though, yes it's damn sad.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 03:00 AM
1

I wouldn't do it without a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 02:34 AM
1

I think parents can be very helpful to have around and I'm sure they'll enjoy spending time with the kid too. Most importantly that will help you get back on your feet. 50/50 is your best bet. You'll pay less support, get to spend time with your kid and have an equal say on decisions about the kid. Check with a lawyer on possibilities but personally I wouldn't give custody ever. If she can be reasoned with and thinks it's good to have the real dad be a parent then it could be ok. However, that's…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 07:53 PM
1

If you're alone you're going to have a pretty rough time taking care of 2 year old + finding time to work, unfortunately. Do you make an equal amount? Having someone support you would be handy if you want to do 50/50. I honestly wouldn't worry about her family. This is none of their business. But they will be around the kid so I'd try to diffuse any situation and just stay away. If they're actually a threat then contact lawyer ASAP. You will need one anyway so might as well start there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 06:47 AM
3

Just keep working on yourself, gym, clean nice clothes and style. You'll be meeting more beautiful women. Men break their backs for their family. Meeting better looking women is not going to be a harder goal to achieve, believe me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 02:09 AM
5

From this point on, every time she's 2 minutes late you'll be wondering who's she with now. You know exactly what you have to do. And this has nothing to do with who's fault it is, you gotta keep looking forward. Get a lawyer and plan the exit fast. Protect your assets as that was the toughest part to negotiate for me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 10:58 PM
12

Once a cheater -- outta here. No second chances 😅
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 07:40 PM
2

Lump sum feels like a good way to get rid of payments, but it might be beneficial to do monthly for tax reasons. Also in cases where ex remarries it could be good to get rid of it - with checking with lawyer. If you are planning to make a lot more money though then lump sum is probably best.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 10:58 PM
3

Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 06:46 AM
6

I wouldn't worry about it. Her mind was made up anyway. But yes, no begging and pleading! The best way to handle this case is to walk out and do this from position of strength. In other words, before you married her and bought her the house. You'll be amazed how much respect you get from this 😅
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 03:14 AM
5

That behavior sounds like a liability in the long term. Are you prepared to live with someone like this. Also keep in mind that it's usually men that end up in handcuffs if things escalate.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 01:15 AM
24

If it's never their fault how can they admit they regret it 😅
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 04:02 AM
7

I personally don't think 40 is a bad age for men to be dating. The supply is pretty abundant, especially if you're looking at 30s-40s age range. Drop pounds, lift weights, look good, decent clothing and style and you'll be just fine. I do want to say though, take 'the one' and 'life partner' out of your expectations. Its not impossible, I just think it's not helpful to make that THE priority. Quite frankly women don't like that either. Just go out there and take things slowly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 06:03 PM
1

The fact you were not with her for a long time is a good thing. I'd talk to a lawyer ASAP and plan for the worst. Divorce brings the worst in people, unfortunately. But it may be smoother if you can keep calm and work out an agreement with her sooner than later. Always best to avoid any type of turmoil during this process
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 06:30 AM
1

I second this. Trying to work things out and being nasty to you don't quite mix.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 02:52 AM
4

This is a good idea!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 11:48 PM
1

Child tax benefits while we were married went to dinners and vacations for her parents. It's not a bad guess to assume she thinks this is pocket money 😅
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 10:57 PM
3

50/50
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 08:46 PM
7

Talk to a lawyer and take what you're entitled to. If tables were turned she'd do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 06:56 PM
1

Whatever you do, don't get baby trapped.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 04:24 AM
1

Do you have kids with her? It's painful when I hear guys are crumbling because of some chick. Write her off, work hard on yourself and replace her with someone better. This is waayyy easier said than done, but it's exactly what you need to do.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 04:14 AM
3

This
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:04 AM
2

Orion is great too, I like his content. Most of these content creators uncover some truths about female nature that makes guys think twice about relationships. But rather than avoid relationships you can learn something about how to have a good one if you chose to have it. I'll quote Taraban "men have to give up something to be in a relationship; women are in to gain something from a relationship". Those that aren't comfortable hearing this probably shouldn't consider having one. But that's just…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 02:39 AM
1

I'd say read a variety of what you heard in these comments and take something out of each one of them. I find stoic wisdom to be amazing but doesn't always serve YOU, at least not right at this moment. Similarly, you can read some pretty controversial stuff and that doesn't serve you either. It's best to stick somewhere around the middle.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 11:24 PM
2

Good list. I'd start with no more Mr nice guy. It's a nice start.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 11:20 PM
1

I'm in early 40s which isn't young really. I'd have a hard time living in a house or townhouse because it just feels too quiet for me, often out of the city. How about a condo with a nice view, good location, some amenities, water if your city has it, good neighbours. And if you want to date women that's a nice place to hang out. I guess depends on the lifestyle you want.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 03:36 AM
1

Instead of losing sleep I'd say get a lawyer, quietly. Borrow money if you have to so that you at least understand what your options are. If you want your kids I wouldn't leave this up to whatever happens.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 03:23 AM
6

The biggest stress of this process for me was the amount of money that I will "lose" in this. Luckily 50/50 custody was never questioned so I didn't have to deal with that. In retrospect, I see I'm capable of making that money back and much more. Women I am meeting are more attractive. I can decide on what works and what doesn't work for me. Just bought a condo on a high floor in the heart of the city without fear of what happens if she divorces me because m already done. Imagine how liberating …
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 01:54 AM
6

Do you have kids? Her family is her family. Having a respectful and cordial relationship with them is all you'll need to have if you have kids. I think you should move on, level up, improve yourself, and eventually get someone better. That's how you get justice.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 10:58 PM
9

I've been dating recently, enough to be able to see some patterns. Women who are separated or divorced care about their reputation and will not tell you they're cheating. Usually there's some story about some form of abuse, the guy cheated, financial problems, sometimes they'll just tell that hubby wasn't f* her, or theyre just amazing actors. But it's very rare they tell you they are cheating. Considering that women cheat as often as men then this must be true, no? I guess what I'm saying is th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 08:06 PM
1

Delete her entirely from your life, no photos, no social media. It helps delete her friends too. No contact with her. Then start implementing this self improvement, but not to compare yourself with her but because you want to have successes of your own. Raise your market value, work out, look good, date some young sexy girls. This might be bad advice but it worked for me. It's good to know that you have options, and believe me everyone can tell too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 06:53 AM
4

Is your stbx someone you can reason with? You want to try and not lose custody. It's hard to have a 2 year old, live in a small town and be 26 years old single dad. You have so much runway, it'd be wasteful if you stick around. You'll probably just have to commute a lot, but if you create some kind of system maybe it's possible. Can you read, work, be productive while you're travelling? I'd look into that. It will be good for you and eventually your daughter too.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 06:29 AM
2

Do not leave matrimonial home. Get a lawyer. They will help you with your next move.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 06:10 AM
6

If she can't buy you out but wants you to get out of the house then how is this going to work? Her dad paying the mortgage so she can live in it makes zero sense to me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 05:54 AM
9

I think paying for extras in hope that it gets reciprocated with kindness and favours is wrong way to go about it. Extras I do for my kid only. This is why there is child support no? And believe me I struggle with this too because I want to avoid going back to arguments. But it's a good idea not to set precedence where youre being too kind so she starts expecting it. F* that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 05:41 AM
2

I'd say start preparing for an exit, quietly. Gaining respect is not done by talking, you need to take action. If she doesn't budge then you may need to do what's right for you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 08:23 PM
5

I like biting the tablet a bit about 30 minutes before and just chew it. Just be aware that it lowers blood pressure so it's best not to combine it with Jacuzzi and other things that do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 03:05 AM
2

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 11:26 PM
1

So basically throwing their existing children under the bus for self preservation. Nature is ruthless 😅
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 10:19 PM
14

I heard someone say women treat men like men treat jobs. If there is the perception that she might get a better deal elsewhere, whatever that deal is, she'll go cold and brutal to the old deal. Notice I said perception, because grass might not be greener, new deal might not last, but it's at least what shes feeling at that moment.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 01:50 AM
4

The only reason I'd go on this overseas vacation with her is if I was planning to leave her there. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 09:13 PM
1

I know this isn't advice that's easy to give to someone with a 2 year old. But it's pretty impressive how much respect you get when you walk away, and I mean that in general. If not that you need to take some sort of action because talking isnt going to bring results.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 10:58 AM
3

Give it a couple years before she starts moving stuff in your home 😅. And I know that sounds unreasonable for most women, but I mean ladies, come on... What's the rush!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 10:51 AM
2

She's not your concern anymore. Get out of the divorce machine, the sooner the better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 10:47 AM
2

How will it cost you a lot. This might be a bit opinionated, but your number one priority right now is your health and finances. If you're giving everything to these two you won't have time to be lonely. And as that improves why not go out on a few dates, and maybe not unpack your entire story, just test to see what's out there and have fun while at it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 10:38 AM
2

Relationships are no longer what they used to be, and for all I know they will be different when my kid grows up. One advice is to pursue some purpose and not make women the purpose. The good ones will be patient. I can't say that's solid advice, but being pulled sideways by the wrong woman is a pretty big risk 😅
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 04:01 AM
2

I'd expect to have many more dates after this. You'll loosen up the more you do it. And I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting more women. Women certainly have plenty lined up also, but I wouldnt worry about that. Don't expect much from first meeting. This is where you feel each other out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 01:24 AM
3

4-7 but mainly 4 is probably enough reason. Sometimes the only way to get respect back is to walk away. Maybe hard but true
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 01:08 AM
1

You might entitled to spousal support too. I know some men have pride and will not accept it, but I would. And later if you're in a much better position you can pay her back if your relationship as co-parents is good. I'd borrow money for some legal advice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 03:48 AM
7

This is bad advice. Check with your lawyer first before you move out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 01:09 AM
1

I'm not defending him or quality of his work. All Im saying is that he made a lot of money and had a pretty high reach on the windows days. Some people are just good at building businesses and making money. Chad is good with women. He might be an *hole but he's just good with women 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 02:22 AM
2

I wouldn't wish divorce with a young child to anyone. Try to understand why you're fighting first. Maybe there is a way to diffuse these and that's probably something you'll have to try, because I doubt she will. Be the stable stoic. If that doesn't work then it's possible she's got some issues with you or of her own.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 01:29 AM
1

I wouldn't call Bill a masculinity guru, just because he's smart and has money. But Tom, yeah... I think women just get bored man, gotta be an entertainer for them from time to time. I think Tom probably had better things to do. 😁
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:58 AM
1

He made a lot of money, and he is a smart guy. Maybe it's true that he was a predator. Marriage is not for everyone. Just pointing out that people don't get lucky all the time, maybe? 😅
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 03:55 AM
4

If someone is terrible to you stay the hell away. Do you want that in your life? Find someone that respects you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 10:20 AM
2

The issue is that he's the savior, because most likely the woman said she's done. But then you have no idea about it, most likely. If the code is to not bang women with kids, then I'd support that. I dont date women with kids... but for different reasons though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 10:14 AM
1

Yes. Many times. Not proud of it. Once my financial situation improved, business doing well, got hair transplant, gym and fitness, I just had way more options than when I met her. It's not sexy to admit this stuff but yes I wanted to bang other women, and the rest of the time I just wanted to know that I could do better. I think she would have left the minute she found a better option too honestly. I dont think that my being faithful would have earned her loyalty. Other than the dead bedroom, lo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 09:57 AM
2

Yes. Be very well prepared, with lawyers advice, before pulling the trigger. You'll want to get out of this as soon as you can, hopefully with your skin. I was in the same position as you, higher earner with a business. Lawyers are quite busy and have bigger fish to fry so things dragged for a while for me, which isn't great. But after all the stress I managed to come up with a deal that favours my kid as opposed to her financially. You'll have to be creative and help with this if she's willing …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 07:42 AM
2

Not sure about how it works in AU but I think all you want is a separation agreement and a family plan. Check with a lawyer and make sure you're not risking losing custody by leaving the house. Even this can take a while though. You'll be going back and forth on who's getting what, taking vacations, waiting for lawyers - and depending on who you get they can be slow and drag this process. It's hard, be prepared, but it can be done. I slept on the couch on her days. On my days I slept early with …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 07:16 AM
2

Good for you! You'll be surprised if you look good and have the stuff together there's plenty of options out there.im about same age too. I'm mainly talking about something more casual though. Believe me with kids your age it's not easy to also deal with relationships, especially the first couple years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 10:35 AM
2

Does she mess with others on the side? I heard that if you're not getting intimacy it doesn't mean she isn't... I don't want to suggest she is but I'd try to find out, because that should be an immediate decision for you. It wouldn't hurt to start working on yourself, get in shape, getting into fun hobbies and activities you enjoy. Don't let her get comfortable with that attitude. She might have a problem with these changes. If she does, I think it's probably a clue that it's over. Divorce with …
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 05:05 AM
5

At least she said she's not proud of how she acted. From what I've been reading here and my experience it's usually her that's right and it's all my fault 😅. I wouldnt count on ex being accountable. Women are emotional beings and usually not rational. She will do and say things based on how she feels. How you deal with it? Be indifferent and stay on your course.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 08:22 PM
2

Check with a lawyer for legal details. Usually once you have a separation agreement and notice of family claim youre welcome to leave if you want to. Of course, by then you have an agreement on days you have your kids etc.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 05:58 AM
3

I don't believe much on that, but I do think that if there are bad habits it's just a matter of time before you get caught. Thieves, cheaters, liars, criminals, all get caught at some point. Those that don't are either too good or just a matter of luck they have not been caught yet.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 02:55 AM
3

I dont think you should feel bad for her hurting uf she was doing other dudes from the bar. Not saying it's all her fault because I don't know, but you just can't take that back anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 02:50 AM
2

I heard chances for it to work out are slim but she might be pregnant so she kind of has to now. I really hope it works out because it's going to be a headache if she's single again
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 02:44 AM
5

Just sleep with other women too and it will sting less. Eventually you'll just laugh that the new guy gets to put memory cards in, fix her drawers and take the garbage out. Meanwhile focus on spending quality time with you kid, forget what happens while you do t have him with you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 02:36 AM
1

Gym, business and money, social life. Just bought an ocean view condo on a high floor, going to do some work on it, make it my new home.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 06:15 AM
3

I think everyone's situation is a bit different, but the source of my anxiety was finances and how much capital will be gone. The other one was the fact that in an instant your plans and ambitions are completely disrupted, time is scarce, and that's all deliberately done by someone you used to care for. A lot to process there... As your stability improves there's less anxiety. Finances, goals, are pretty good actually. Resentment did not go away for me, but I try to keep things cool and cordial.…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 09:59 AM
15

A woman that threatens and blames you for her happiness isn't going to bring you peace. 6 months is not long. Talk to a lawyer and get all the advice you need, and plan the exit. You will pay something but it won't be the same as someone who's married 10 years. Do not get baby trapped, not saying you will fall for it but just in case.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 09:22 AM
3

I think you're at an age when man's value goes up and women's value goes down. Wait till you achieve your fitness goals and you can expect that to quadruple. Can't tell you about relationships because that part I havent considered yet, but as far as dating it's been better than it ever was honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 09:12 AM
1

Sorry to hear this. I hope you get over the addiction stuff because that can be problematic for you too. Women move on a lot faster than men, it's just the way it is. They plan this stuff for a while and usually they have someone else in mind, if she hasn't already messed around. You're not alone. You don't have kids so thats a plus. Just keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 12:18 PM
1

Who makes more money? I got a lawyer and worked out a deal that I pretty much crafted. My lawyer didn't do that much but he is a weapon and that sometimes helps if money and custody is on the line. If you make roughly the same amount and agree on shared custody I'd go with whatever is fastest.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 12:10 PM
5

Couple things, if you catch the girl with another dude and you both agreed to exclusivity you dont work things out. That's over. Now how to get out of this dark place. It's hard I know but start building your body, gain muscle lose fat, eat well and exercise. Some women will like that and you'll smash every now and then. Maybe these girls will be even better. That's one way to do it. Maybe therapy helps, personally I don't think I have time for it... Not sure if you have kids but your time is va…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 12:03 PM
6

Offered to leave the house, which you most likely paid for, because you're the man? What kind of messed up world is that? I had mine play various tricks but she soon realized that I've been getting legal help. I think it's fine if you grey rock her and just discuss through lawyers. These conversations will not get better, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 11:53 AM
1

If judge sees it as abandonment then you might lose custody, and with that be liable for a lot more child support, spousal support while you only get some visitation rights. Talk to a lawyer first. There are cases where leaving could be ok, like she's abusive, or she's accusing you of being abusive, or it's not safe for kids for whatever reason, but if you play it right it will hopefully not come to that. Lawyer is a must before you leave the house.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 11:50 AM
1

This!
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 04:29 AM
3

It's unlikely for women to not have something lined up and secure before they divorce. So most likely there is another penis involved. This stuff gets men angry and upset, so I don't understand why you'd really want know about it. Just accept that she's gone and look towards the future. Once both of you start sleeping with other people it's over and will not be the same anymore. So that should be your clue that it's time to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 03:12 AM
3

It's not an adventure and certainly not a cakewalk. But you will get over it and come out a better person in the end. If you do what everyone tells you, work on yourself, work harder and smarter, be a good dad, the only possible outcome is better. So it won't be easy but you might unlock a new world out there and I guess maybe you could say that's an adventure.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 02:29 AM
8

I had her hang up the phone on me when I said I'll be a bit late to pick up the kid today 😂. I didn't expect merry Xmas but at least a bit nicer around this time. Nope. 🤷‍♂️😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 02:15 AM
2

I think it's fine to set boundaries and tell them no to things you don't want to do. You should be prepared to walk away though. Had a similar story where she was testing me if I "cant do" house stuff like painting and fixing furniture. I politely dodged that conversation. Later I noticed that she's been getting some help elsewhere and here's the funny thing: the couch looked like a crime scene and that was not me. Was worried about getting baby trapped at this point, so that was the end of that…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 02:09 AM
3

It does suck but you just gotta keep pressing forward. I've set some pretty high goals for myself, I do have a vision of how that future could look like but it's stressful and painful. 50% of the time with my kid doing the dad duties, playing Legos, trying to work on the side biz after he sleeps, then feed him, dropoff to school and rush back for meetings on my day job. It's a freaking nightmare but I do believe that this rapid too will end and I'll reap the benefits of work I'm doing
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 04:00 AM
2

It will be hard but you can do it. I did it, and things turned out just fine, maybe better. It's not going to be the same but it can be better. Your most important task right now is to fight for your kids, bring YOU back, and rebuild capital. The rest will settle with time. One word of advice, don't beat yourself about not being the best because you were providing but not home a lot. You did what's right for the family but she decided to b** someone else. I hate to bring this up, but that's usua…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 02:57 PM
3

Only women and children are loved unconditionally. It's just something I heard a lot...
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 08:23 PM
2

If this joke slips through you might get shadow banned in dating apps and the only way around that is to get a new number. A bit off topic but it's very likely! 😅
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 08:18 PM
2

In my opinion yes. You can't rebuild yourself if you're bleeding cash every month. It's hard to help the kids or yourself if you are not able to move forward and rebuild yourself, capital, and so on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:36 AM
12

Stop talking to her, see a lawyer ASAP. She is not your wife or your friend anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:30 AM
3

Saying we have a bond that can't be broken is pretty premature to say. Disagreements will start as a result of each party acting on their self-interest, which will most likely happen. If you treat this like a business relationship it's possible to have a cordial co-parenting relationship. But I wouldn't count on things like bonds with her. That's useless to you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 05:06 AM
4

The only way to boost your confidence is to have a few wins stacked up, and that's actually true in general not just women. I met a lot of women after separation. Got rejected a lot but I also had a lot of success. It's pretty effortless at this point, ones that want to get with me I close the deal with pretty quickly, and ones that dont want to get with me I don't waste my time with -- they'll come around 😅. The idea that men's value increases with time is a fact, do not underestimate it! You w…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 01:50 AM
2

This is off topic but I'd say have a chat with them first before committing to one. If they promise you too much and aren't being reasonable with what a typical judge would do then it will cost you a lot and you won't get half of it. If they're too "reasonable" it's a bad sign too as they won't fight to get you what you're likely to get. I've tried both extremes, and while the latter still sounds better, I had to do a lot of deal making myself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 01:31 AM
4

Pretend you didn't know about it either. done. If you've made a decision just wrap it up, at least on your side. My 2c
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 09:05 AM
4

I've been through it. The beginning is hard because you see everything. But it does get easier and you'll start realizing why this is the way forward. Luckily our rent was cheap and I make ok money so I got another apartment, even though technically we still both "live" at the marital home. Went on dates, meeting people, working out and looking better, working hard and making money, spending time with my kid, basically operating at 120%. Not sustainable but helps you get your mind off things and…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 09:13 PM
3

I dont think anything good comes out of saying things to her. Don't let these conversations make this process more complicated, because you want to be out of it as soon as possible. Even after it's over, I wouldn't bother saying anything, just do it. Ignore her or if you have kids cordial and grey rock works perfectly.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:55 PM
3

If you're not planning to keep her what's wrong with continuing to talk to her. I had a few instances where I ditched dates because I had a serious problem with them seeing me as a beta provider, red flags, maybe a bit flakey, genuine desire wasn't quite there. It busted my ego so I let them go. But I'll come clean, reality is I was dying to sleep with them. And from experience, you probably will if you maintain your cool and play it right. Are they long term relationship type? No. But they are …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 04:56 AM
1

Weekends only is not 50/50. Getting more days, getting you out of the house, being the main person with doctor, school stuff, could be a truly genuine thing but it's rarely the case imo, it's a trick. Getting more than 50 for her means she can call the shots and you get visitation rights, and if you're making a lot more money she's entitled to a better child and spousal support. My ex threatened to go after custody when I asked her to pay for half of the mortgage. You can kind of see how this wo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 07:00 AM
2

Yeah believe me I had to play some chess to get her to accept a deal. This was actually a risk for me that made me sell within 6 months so things dont drag on for long
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 02:04 AM
6

You answered your question actually. If all you see is what reminds you of her then dump it all in the garbage. Then you can focus on getting you back.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 02:02 AM
3

Will you owe her money after division of assets? What I did was cover all the mortgage payments because she could not pay half. When it was time to pay her out I deducted all expenses she could not afford. This might not be the best if she's likely to refuse to pay. But a sane person should understand that this needs to be paid back... You might have to make that clear in writing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 01:55 AM
5

And don't get married until you figure out the laws there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 01:48 AM
1

Sounds a lot like my ex. I'd pay the bills, work during the day, come home and have to feed the kids too. And because I made substantially more money it was all my fault that she was stuck with lower value chores, seemingly... Is she messing around with someone? Maybe talking to a law firm? Talking to her single or divorced friends? As much as I hate families breaking down I'd start planning for the worst. Hopefully the worst will not happen but you do want to prepare for it. Consulting a lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 06:09 AM
1

When a woman says he's just a friend, I'm thinking now she's got two. Well actually... probably a few more I don't know about. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 02:01 AM
1

Look better, make money and improve your game. Every day try to improve on these. When you're angry go lift some heavy stuff at the gym. You don't have time to feel sad, work on improving your financial situation. It's easier said than done, but if you can create some discipline and follow it it won't take long before you start seeing options in front of you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 11:41 PM
2

Something tells me she has retained a lawyer for some time now. Get a lawyer ASAP and learn what your options are. I don't know if you have kids, if you have a business, you make more money and how much more. If you make roughly the same amount, no custody issues then mediation would be fine IMO. Either way you're going to pay something. If your case is more complicated I'd shop for a good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 08:43 AM
3

Hinge. Plenty of women there. I dont how's that for your city though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 06:42 AM
2

There's a book called sex god method. I recommend it. Anxiety kills the mood honestly. You need to loosen up. My way of doing that was to just go out there and meet more women. If things aren't great with one they will be with another. Just keep exploring and look your best.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 06:34 AM
2

Can't tell you what you should do but I'll tell you what I would do. Set very strict boundaries. You can't just let this go. You'll figure things out, but this behavior is not acceptable as that's a precedence for more bad things to come. She has to be accountable like everyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 09:50 AM
3

I think you could use some red pill content. Find out more about maintaining frame. Giving up the business and moving for HER, putting her on a pedestal. You won't do this anymore, promise please.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 03:10 AM
5

The best thing you can do right now is leave her alone, start gym and exercise, and get a lawyer planning for worst case. Do this now, shes not your concern. If she hasn't f* anybody and comes back it could be good for the family. If she did, and it won't be hard to find out, then you're done with her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 10:50 PM
2

Similar thing here. Sounds like the most irrational decision but it must be either baby rabies or she baby trapped someone to make sure they stick around. I feel for the guy who got... her as a trophy 😅
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 02:54 AM
10

Get rid of her fast.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 02:49 AM
2

I'm also not buying this your turn thing, although I do agree that they have more options if they're willing to sleep around a lot. The category that most women fall under, apparently: https://youtu.be/IXxCfswdH68?t=1007&si=t0gPGk6fmkcCXlkX
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 11:17 AM
12

Nah. We have a 5 year old. This is another ... lucky guy 😅
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 04:56 AM
1

Thats fair. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 04:29 AM
1

I do want more kids, I'm just not sure when is the right time. I'm not Al Pacino to have one in 70s 😂
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:29 AM
5

I hear your point. Betrayal has left a mark and all this bothers me. Maybe I miss some things we had. But I wouldnt want her in my life. Maybe I like her family values and perhaps I'm envious of that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:21 AM
6

Anything is possible but I doubt it because it's hanging on the fridge. Her AP occasionally comes for a visit. Im not snooping around honestly, but I think she's proudly making it visible for me to see. In a month I'm out of there, and will be handing her the keys. But knowing this is making me think should this change anything for me... She'll have less time for our 5 year old, maybe child support changes due to this or not, maybe push more responsibilities towards me? Or maybe it doesn't affec…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:13 AM
2

Thanks for that. We have some sessions happening there and I'm about to transfer the contract of rent to her at which point I'll give her the keys. In other words, I'm not going in without her permission as I haven't officially moved out of there. But I see how that could get hairy if Im not expected there.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 02:05 AM
1

Thanks for this. You're right, my mind is going everywhere right now. I do want more kids too but I'll need to sleep on that idea for a while. I guess one fear is that the revolving door, partying and fun could become a habit. Even though we're not running on the same biological clock as women around my age Im not sure if I'll have the energy for kids 4-5 years later.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 12:25 AM
3

I'd say plan for the worst and hope for the best. It's very unlikely that she'll be nicer once you go through divorce. I wouldn't announce anything, get a lawyer, plan your exit, protect assets as much as you can, and then have a talk when you're ready. Has she pulled away, no intimacy, she wants privacy, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if there is an AP somewhere in the orbit. Women tend to get b**ier when they have something lined up and want you to act. This way you're the bad guy and it's your …
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 08:52 PM
2

This probably also explains why there is women's red pill sub, but men's sub closed down 😅
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 09:53 PM
4

If you have no kids, no shared property, I dont see the point of staying. Lawyer will know better but get this answer soon before things escalate into something physical. Considering what you went through you have a pretty good excuse to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 04:29 AM
12

I've been where you are and I can share what I think after all the turbulence is over. Treat this as a learning experience. You thought you're doing the right thing, but you were completely exposed to what some would call theft. It's good to see reality for what it is and adjust your life strategy accordingly. Some say they got red pilled, whatever that is, you are now aware. Find creative ways to protect your assets. There are lawyers, like mine, who are lazy. In my case I had to do some of the…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 09:42 PM
5

When someone accuses you of cheating there are 3 fingers pointing back at them. Destroying a family is sad, but if she wants to go I'd give her what she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 06:58 PM
1

Try hinge. I'm mainly doing casual, anything serious is a distraction right now. Some financial damage was done but it's not so bad, I can recover and do much better. It's not simple to do any serious dating and have your kids 50% of the time honestly. But if you're just having fun, had a lot of success, sex, lovely women. But introducing my kid to anyone is not what I want, so I'm pretty selective with who I keep around. You do get a lot of flakes too btw, so just learn to handle that well and …
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:07 AM
1

Once she cheats it's done. Focus on you now, and your kids. Protect your assets, plan for 50/50 custody minimum if you can. it's a rough ride. But pleading and begging is not an option.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 12:55 AM
4

If she mentioned divorce then she probably means it but can't do better right now. If she finds someone decent she can latch on to you'd be surprised how quickly that divorce can happen 😅 I dont think people should tolerate this behavior. If she mentioned it again treat that as sign of disrespect and act accordingly. I'd leave her in the dark, grey rock her, go play golf with your buddies or something, do not argue with her, because youre the man with options and dont give a damn if she leaves o…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 07:43 PM
1

This is not true in general. If you live in major cities in Canada you'd quadruple your money, if not more, in 20 years. But... That kind of appreciation is not easy to time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:18 PM
2

Every rapid ends. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 08:37 PM
11

I used to believe that buying property is a way to build wealth. While that certainly helps because some money is going to principal of your mortgage, considering closing costs when buying and selling, transfer tax, realtors, penalties for breaking mortgage, you're not really making much if you plan to sell and buy something else within 5 years. You could get a 10% return on just putting money on s&p500 and not deal with all the headache. I'd treat property as diversification of assets and nof s…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 06:11 PM
6

Have fun out there, I also like this aspect of divorce 😅. Just do t get baby trapped and pay attention to how much time you're spending with dating. It can suck a lot of time from you and you won't be as productive as a result 😅
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 08:05 PM
2

Yes. But I pick nonexpensive places and try to throw in some free ideas like grab a few beers and bike to the beach or something like that. And if she wants to swing by my place to use the bathroom then perfect we'll stay in 😅. She can reciprocate later. If she can't afford to take you out for dinner then maybe she could cook or bake for you. 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 06:06 PM
1

There is a saying 'dont lead with your wallet' and I agree with this to a certain point. For me personally dates go better if I pay for the date. You don't have to take her to fine dinning or steakhouse. You can pay for a coffee, a drink, maybe an appetizer to munch on. Maybe grab some take out sushi and go to the beach. In other words whatever you can comfortably afford. I'm not saying this is good or bad but it does bring me better results, and she'll most likely sleep in my bed by 3rd date. T…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 11:44 PM
9

There is another 🍆 in her life, but maybe this isn't a safe branch for her to move to, so she's backtracking. Women are experts at managing their reputation, so somehow it's always going to be your fault. But, if you know that she's been messing around, which usually isn't that hard to tell if you dig a bit, then I don't see the point of discussing this with the in-laws. That'd be a wrap for me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:53 AM
4

I'm 42 and I might not be understanding this correctly. I thought women my age just want to find themselves because life is short, which is basically bone other men and bond with them kind of thing. But what is a 60 year old woman looking for? It kind of blows my mind to be honest.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 08:29 PM
1

You can find the breaking point once you start adjusting the rules of the game to work in your favor. She's not gonna want to let go of that comfort without a fight, unfortunately. This is our fault because we molded this individual by doing everything ourselves. Been there. One advice I heard which I liked was 'dont try to get the marriage back, it's time to get you back, because if that fails guess who's still standing'
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 04:59 PM
1

Just because a bunch of us are divorced and have been burned doesn't necessarily mean marriage is a bad thing. I never cared for it, especially having government in your house, but a good wife can complement your life in a way no one can, bring you kids. Not getting married for me it's eating ramen and donairs for dinner, revolving door at your new home. You know what... I like it! I do whatever I want with my time. But even that can get old. If you find someone that respects you and brings you …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 12:18 AM
5

One thing I can say is that amicable divorce is a myth, especially when money is on the line. If you already argue this much while married expect the worst when you're divorcing her. Having said that, I think you should try to keep things amicable but plan for the worst. Get the best lawyer but be mindful that they might want to drag this on too. A good lawyer will tell you what judge is most likely going to do and that should go e you a ballpark what your deal might look like. If you can get a …
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:30 AM
3

That could be better than waiting and giving her more of your hard earned money, especially if you make a lot more than her. It's a scramble at the beginning and it still is for me as I live in a pretty expensive city and would like something decent for my kid to be in, but I'm happier than being in ... that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 01:31 AM
5

As someone who had nightmares about this I can tell you the sooner you exit the better off you will be.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 01:16 AM
8

You want to continue living with this person?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 12:14 AM
2

That's a good call on not giving anything up that you enjoy doing. I just want to clarify what I meant. You don't want to give up a hobby for a woman or do things because a woman wants you to. What I meant to say is that you do want to level yourself up so that you have options and live a life of abundance. If you look and feel healthy, you'll look better. If your car breaks down you have the means of replacing it the next day. If a woman gives you grief you have the means of replacing her. You'…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 05:27 PM
2

Do you have kids? Do your parents have health issues, and why do they need 2 hours a day of your time? You're 35 and making 70k; is that enough, a lifestyle opposite sex would be attracted to? How do you look like and how would you rate yourself? I'd start thinking about these... You have plenty of runway left to improve all these areas in your life. You're going to have to make sacrifices, you need to make more money, better status, if you want to have options. It's not easy but it's better tha…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:33 AM
0

When a woman asks do you want the marriage or playing video games, you could ask her.. which is the first game you should be playing as a single man 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 04:53 AM
2

I have an opinion but it's just an opinion. Before the kid her biological clock said yes to a baby with someone who can provide and has his stuff together more or less. Maybe her options were not that great then, needed some saving perhaps, so she was willing to overlook some things. Now she's done with babies, you may have lifted her status, and shes bored and looking for the next thing and she doesn't see it happening. I think giving up stuff like videogames isn't a solution. That just tells h…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 03:11 AM
2

Exact same thing with my 5 year old. When she arrives to pick him up he runs and hides, and just does not want to meet his mom. I'm flattered, because we have so much fun and I'm a good dad and all, but I'm also amazed by how a kid can avoid his own mom. It's possible that I spoil him while she probably talks to him from the top kind of thing, and is strict with him, doing what's good for her basically. I think at this age it's probably uncomfortable for kids but they'll be used to it and won't …
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 06:05 PM
8

Read no more mr nice guy. You don't need to do what's right. You need to do what's right for you and the leftover nice can go somewhere else if that somewhere else is worthy of receiving the nice.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:51 AM
2

We skipped the court and worked with lawyers to come to an agreement. Apparently she can ask for changes but apparently it's not easy to change, but possible.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 12:39 AM
12

Same here. She thought shes gonna be rich and I'm going to pay for her "fun" lifestyle. Didn't turn out that way. I look better, am motivated to make money, am making money, I'm ok with the ladies out there. We agreed to a deal with no spousal support, 50/50 custody. It would be nice to have some sort of cordial relationship but not there yet, she's still the victim and I'm the bad guy. I mean let it goooo lady please, it's the bed you made 😅. Lawyer said she has 2 years to change her mind about…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:42 PM
1

When I meet new women I usually don't mention divorce. I just tell them I'm not in a relationship right now, and if they ask about status I tell them but I dont dwell too much on that. If dates are fun, you're positive and happy overall, stuff around is solid, then you've got nothing to worry about. "Going through divorce" is a bit heavy for someone you just met. I can't say out of the weeds yet but I'm close to finalizing it, and even now I try to dodge that subject, or anything that brings ugl…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:35 AM
3

If tables were turned you'd be paying through your nose, especially if you decided she's no longer useful to you. So... I'd suggest getting a lawyer and get what you're entitled to: division of assets, alimony. Do NOT be nice about this. You helped her pay for her school and are splitting bills evenly. My ex did zero of that and she still wanted everything. Just some food for thought.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:36 PM
2

Look good, have your stuff together, a decent car and apartment, do fun stuff so you have a somewhat interesting life to talk about on dates. Women are abundant on dating apps. Met a lot of them and had quite a bit of success, but this is more about hookups and less about finding a partner. I could be wrong but both men and women on apps have a bunch of other dates in rotation and long term commitment sounds a bit ridiculous. But maybe that's just my experience. If you want to go out there and i…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:56 PM
3

Yep, this kind of stuff can really mess with your head. Not only that, but the new man has no respect for you or your family, and might even sleep on the bed you paid for. As ugly as this is I think it's best to redirect this anger towards self improvement: gym and get in shape, work hard, be the best dad. With time you'll realize that not having her around is actually better for you. There are good women out there, but personally the way I approach women, dating and relationships is a lot diffe…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 02:11 AM
1

Women in their 60s and after menopause still fuck? Just when I think nothing will surprise me anymore I prove myself wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 06:06 PM
3

This. This is a wrap. Any waiting you're doing is just buying her time to monkey branch somewhere else. Waiting is just a liability and will not benefit you in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 08:33 PM
3

Record everything and talk to the lawyer. Maybe not all women, but some, can come up with a lot of different tricks to trigger you so they can accuse you of DV or something. Candidly record everything, and do the grey rock where you only talk about kids. I've done communications electronically to show her respectfully that i can't leave the house because I want to be there for my kids. But once we settle then we can formally part ways. Talk to the lawyer, but having some of this evidence can at …
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 10:52 PM
4

I've noticed 3 phases, the sad phase where you are, the angry phase and the recovery phase. Sad phase is where you're feeling like a failure because ex left for a better life somewhere, allegedly. The angry phase is when you realize it was not just you but your ex is selfish and a bunch of other stuff, ruined you financially, and is now your sworn enemy. Then there is the recovery phase where you change your life and see rapid improvement of yourself, and people start noticing this. This last ph…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 12:51 AM
2

Google has a way to hide this person. It wouldn't hurt to delete everything related to her. If kids are in then sure keep them, but tell Google not to remind you about this person. Honestly, there is no benefit in thinking about the past. Keep looking forward.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 07:11 AM
2

Signed about a week ago. Financial hit for me was the hardest because 50/50 was not an issue. At the end, what sounds like a lot is probably not that much and I'll gladly write it off. I don't know how things will play out but I'm 42 and still some runway left to rebuild capital. I'm a lot more motivated to make more money, meet better women, be better. It beats my old self, always felt trapped having to negotiate decisions. Forget it, it's way better now. Not easy with young kids and 50/50 but …
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:08 AM
3

This. If she's talking to a lawyer she has probably retained one for a while and is just using this time to her advantage. You get nothing by sticking for another 6 months. If there is an AP, which most likely there is, you will not want to reconcile.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:41 PM
2

This. If she's talking to a lawyer she has probably retained one for a while and is just using this time to her advantage. You get nothing by sticking for another 6 months. If there is an AP, which most likely there is, you will not want to reconcile.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:41 PM
11

My advice is do not go in begging and pleading mode. At least save the dignity and let her go, focus on yourself now, that's your priority. Most of the time there is an AP somewhere, likely at or around the workplace. Is it worth finding out? No. If you dig you will find something so I wouldn't even bother. Sorry about this, it will be hard. But I think you will eventually have to come to peace with it. Start planning the exit even if you don't have to go through it. Get a lawyer, self improveme…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:35 PM
4

Personally I dont think it's divorce, but it's divorce with kids. I don't know what your situation is about feeling suffocated by gf, but I have had the same feeling with new girls I've dated. I don't know if it's lack of experience with dating a single dad or they're really trying hard to test your boundaries. Either way you're not going to budge on your kid so at some point you just have to drop them to get peace. I'm not saying it's not possible to meet a great gal who will be a good stepmom,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 05:40 AM
1

When women threaten with divorce I would take their word for it. Ask me how I know... I tried to keep things together for the sake of the kid too, and I always hope stuff like that works out. But I don't think it's a bad idea to be prepared in advance, consult a lawyer, know your liabilities, custody you'd fight for etc. if she decides it's time to go it can happen when you least expect it and you don't want to be scrambling last minute to figure out what to do.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 10:53 PM
8

Of course she wants the house, your mom to help out and 100% custody. I don't know your situation but 50/50 is the minimum you should allow. It's the hill you die on. Same thing with finances, just because she wants things doesn't mean you have to give it to her. Push back, get a lawyer and try to work out a deal that will work for you. Giving away so much money hurt like hell, but after a bunch of bargaining I worked out a deal that I'm happy to do just to move on with my life. Papers signed 2 …
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 05:02 AM
1

I think it's good to check with a lawyer about what you can and cannot do. If you just roll and you're in at-fault state then youre just accepting to be liable for spousal support which can be brutal if she's a SAHM and you're making money, as an example. Trusting blindly is also a problem because you're just prolonging the process of a failing marriage. Let's say she cheated, treats you like trash, and you want to reconcile, work like hell and your income triples (all hypothetical), this is now…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 03:43 AM
4

Disagree. Women are much better at hiding the evidence than men. Behavior changes though tell the whole story and ignoring it could be a costly mistake. When your intuition is telling you something is off it usually is. She might not have everything solid yet and might just be waiting for the right moment. If you catch her, shell be gone. I wouldn't wait, just dig deeper.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 12:17 AM
1

Woman you divorce is not the same one you marry. She'll gladly toss you to the curb if she can gain something, often financially. Putting women on pedestal is obviously a bad idea. So why do men still do it is a mystery for me. Just give them what they want 😂 I don't think you're a jerk if you make it clear that 'you' is the primary focus, she can be replaceable anytime, and that you're the boss. She will try to change that but youre pretty firm on that. Then you're basically a rock.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 06:41 PM
1

Changing your lifestyle a bit might get her to be active with you, eat less and eat healthier. Instead of beer and desert, and eating out maybe walks, bike rides, hiking? It sounds like a joke but imagine 5 years later, you'll be wanting to keep fit and look good and maybe she won't. This could be a problem if you're then looking for other options but you have a kid or two with her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 09:47 PM
3

If tables were turned she'd say "I just want everything that I'm entitled to" which is pretty much whatever she can squeeze out from you. This is the story that I heard from most people who have gone through divorce. So I'd say.... Get what you're entitled to and don't count on her being nice. It sucks on how quickly they change when her self interest is affected, but it is what it is...
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 04:24 AM
9

Are you sure you'll be saving a lot of money? How long have you been with her and how's your income vs hers? I don't want you to panic but system is ruthless to men in your position. You could be liable for child support for a child that's not yours. Get out of this fast... You'll be glad you did.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 07:09 PM
3

I wouldn't bother thinking what others think. I used to have that worry before, but I'm so busy these days that I could care less what people say or think about me. I do get people sometimes crack a joke or two and I'll gladly smile and laugh with them. It would annoy me but I look at them and then myself, I'm improving my life at a much faster rate than they are so they can say whatever they want. Divorce does cause damage but it's a wake up call that gets you moving, and I can't say it's the s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:46 AM
5

My 2023 was a disaster, somewhat similar story to yours. 2024 is rebuilding year. It's just the winter season. Just don't get stuck and it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 08:47 PM
5

When you're going through divorce you tend to overthink everything. At the end of the day you want this to be over so you can move on with your life. I suggest you go get a lawyer and get advice on what your options are. If your lawyer is not an **hole trying to squeeze money out of you both then you'll know if it's worth fighting. Most of the time, especially without kids, it's not worth it. Figure out a deal and get out and don't look back. It's a lesson. That's how I see it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 09:56 AM
6

Overnight bag, lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 03:47 AM
5

You will meet other women who are pleasant. No need to rush it, but come on, your ex was just one in a billion... Go find one that suits you and have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 09:53 AM
23

Have a couple comments and this is wisdom I've collected from others, a fraction of it from experience. Standards being lower: how would you rate yourself where you are and what you think you could be? I think working on yourself a bit can help boost your confidence and your standards are slowly lifted. I lifted heavy stuff and got some muscle on my upper back and arms, trimmed the belly fat as well as I could, and all of the sudden standards went up. Hard to workout 3-4 times a week but you can…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 03:58 AM
1

Good start, congrats! Just keep working on yourself and women will eventually notice you, you don't always have to be the one noticing them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 12:52 AM
3

So I was dating this girl, she was fine, was ok with me having a kid, some red flags but overall she was a good person. She was even willing to sign a prenup, but really insisted we are in a relationship and hinted on marriage. So I'm thinking she's ok with prenup but wants to get married, sounds confusing why the rush? This resonates with your ex feeling entitled to you supporting her business right after engagement. It's funny how this works but it's a lot more common than people think. Once y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 08:45 PM
1

If you've smashed then sending a good night message is ok. Otherwise too soon! Actually most women don't like that even if they say they do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 11:24 PM
2

While some of this stuff might be true, because I don't think it's fair to always blame women, don't think that if you were doing all those things she wouldn't leave. If you were out there slaying dragons for the family she'd still complain that you're not doing chores and helping out. All it takes is for her to be bored one day and tell you I'm not happy, then plan an adventure with some new guy because life is short. I guess what I'm saying is that's women's nature, I still like their company …
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 08:20 PM
1

Why couldn't you sleep at your home? That's your home and she can't kick you out. In fact, it's generally a bad idea if you just leave the matrimonial home. She is the mother of your child after all, so you're going to need to have an ok relationship with her. Just know though that she's not going to do you favours for free, the in-laws help that you're getting is not free. I guess it doesn't hurt to be civil to each other but do not get screwed over on the divorce deal. This is typically when t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 02:43 PM
12

Sorry to hear but it's how women operate. She monkey branched to something she thinks is a better deal and the original guy is history. According to stats 75% of affairs end up in divorce within 5 years, so I doubt her odds of doing better are in her favor. If you didn't have kids with her it's a blessing because that really complicates life. Time to be be best version of yourself, do whatever you please, just remember you don't have someone nagging and complaining all the time. You're better of…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 04:27 AM
1

Id also mention we're never sure how many men will serve breakfast in the morning. Doesn't sound like it will be the case but it could.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 11:02 PM
3

A cheater will cheat again. Nothing against reconciling but I wouldn't do it. There needs to be accountability. If she does it later again it will be much worse, she'll walk away with half your stuff and you'll be liable financially for her and the kids. Look into postnup maybe? Talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 07:09 PM
2

You dodged a bullet. Congrats! Just don't get in some trouble with the law, avoid her at all costs. 👌
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:21 PM
1

Depends where you search. Social media algorithms are probably optimized to give you content that keeps you engaged longest so they can profit from it by showing you ads. Google is maybe a bit better as it tries to understand the intent from search terms and give you most relevant results, but within those results you get less relevant ones paid for by advertisers. What im saying is that these companies are not there to decide what's right and wrong, they serve content to you so that they can ma…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 12:18 AM
6

I think you need some red pill content. No more mr nice guy by dr. Glover, Rolo tomassi - rational male. I like George Bruno too. Life is going to be hard, but not because of how you feel, but adjusting to the new reality and all the work thats involved. Your kid is 5 and without help it's not easy to juggle all things. Mine was 4 when we separated. But... There is a silverlining to all this. You first need to survive the process of divorce, and once that ends you will be stronger and a better m…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 11:46 PM
1

Well if you search for divorce also then that content will be pushed no?
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 10:05 PM
3

One guess is that algorithms were spoon-feeding her that content because she was searching for it. Not saying that it, by itself, does not contribute to it though. But people do have the choice to consume the content or not.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 08:43 PM
1

Your biggest asset is the house which you'll split. Not sure if you're able to take anything out of retirement, that's too obvious. Saving yourself 15k from your savings is waste of your time. You want to lose a year of your life over 15k, I wouldn't do it. And there is always a risk that she might start racking up debt and might be on the same plan. I'd just file right away. But I mean if there is a self improvement thing you can spend on I'd go for it, like hair transplant or something 😅. I ju…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 02:10 AM
5

Lawyer for both? You need to protect yourself not her. If she doesn't want to screw you hard then you'll be getting a good deal financially, 50/50 custody, no lawyers, and if that's the case sign those papers asap while she's in affair fog. Almost always there's not enough money to go around, so be prepared for the worst case where she'll try to get everything she can. Things start looking like they're going to be smooth and then as you both get advice the story starts to change. Amicable split …
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 12:33 AM
7

Prenup is necessary. And just know that if situation changes, eg you have kids, then prenup might not protect you as much anymore. Talk to a lawyer, it's great you're here before going ahead with it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 07:55 PM
13

Are you going to pay her after this divorce in some way? Try to suggest that you don't do that and see how friendly she will be. Stop coffee dates. She's useless to you, and the only reason she's around is because she wants something from you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 07:53 PM
8

Was listening to a scenario, which is pretty common. The wife agrees to take care of home responsibilities while that husband goes to work and takes care of financial future. But then his hard work pays off, he becomes successful and all of the sudden he finds that his market value is much much higher than he thought. So he starts looking for other options, variety, younger women, because he is programmed to spread seed right? This is why the system protects the woman so that she doesn't get scr…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 05:40 PM
3

I dont think you need to be preoccupied with what ifs man. The actual truth, which kind of hurts btw, is that she thought she could do better. And then she took that leap and left. There is nothing you could have done to change it. Being good to her wouldn't change that. Your job now is to take care of you. I'm only saying dating helps because it's not as bad as you think. It's possible to find someone much much better for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 12:29 AM
4

This is an ideal time to level up and live your life, on your terms. Believe me, you'll enjoy this journey much more now than if you were in some bad marriage. Yes it sucks at first but feels liberating later.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 12:23 AM
3

This goes against what some would recommend here, but I think dating different women can help. It's easy to think that no other woman can become family again, they're not going to want to date a single dad, they'll have a problem with my kid, etc. while that's certainly true to some degree, you'll find that some women are ok with it and they'll still want to build stuff with you. So maybe you don't need the family with your ex, you can create something else that works for you. To get quality wom…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:51 PM
4

Don't touch her again, grey rock. Bad idea to get involved with her, what if she claims you r*ped her. This is how you can destroy your future. From now on I suggest limit communication to kids only. Talk to the lawyer. I never thought someone I did stuff for would turn on me with false DV allegations but it almost happened. Once she's got a firm grip on the other branch she can toss you like nothing. This is how women operate, it's just good to understand it. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 08:24 PM
4

One thing I can tell you is DO NOT hurt yourself over some chick. Just don't.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 08:17 PM
1

I don't know if they are only looking for hookups but one thing I can confirm is that they have a loooot of side guys. No question about it :)
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 09:56 AM
1

My experience with tinder has been something like that, a lot of profiles but they all seem fake. Bumble I have not tried yet. Hinge gives me good amount of matches. Interesting but I do t get scammers.. maybe because I pay for it? I doubt it though...
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 07:33 AM
2

I'm in early 40s and it's not uncommon for guys my age to be getting with 25 year olds. Hinge is full of them. Personally I didn't try going that young, maybe early 30s is a sweet spot? Right at epiphany phase 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 06:57 AM
5

I'd just do another celebration, maybe a funner one. She tried toure me into this game where I still join celebrations with her friends, in-laws and so on, while she's on her vacations n with the bf. Not only is that awkward for me but I never cared for her circle anyway. I cut that right off. There are things you cant avoid, like graduations, parent meetings and so on. In this case yes you do have to suck it up, but if she's bringing the bf grab a 25 year old babe and go with her 😅. You don't n…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 01:07 AM
9

Tell her that you're sorry but you only trade up 😅 Nah kidding, I'd just ignore that crap
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 12:12 AM
3

Congrats!!
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 11:25 PM
9

You're only 27, and I hope you don't have kids? If not, you dodged a bullet. Today is the day you start adapting to reality. The first mistake is that you made her the ONLY person you care about. You don't do that with anyone other than your kids. You need some red pill content. Quoteing rich cooper... There is no ONE, there are bad ones and better ones.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:07 PM
4

Dude, what are you doing nudging her? Stop talking to her completely. Keep it about kids only and minimize contact and exposure to her. Grey rock. If there is a need for camera get a body cam. It's good to start separating kid days so that you're not both around the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:02 PM
15

Men give out love to get sex and women give out sex to get love. Most virtuous folks would disagree with this, but typically the only time you tolerate bs is if there is sex or potential of. There is less desire to tolerate bs when honeymoon is over and you're getting turned into a plow horse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 01:50 AM
2

It's a bit distressing at first. But with time you'll notice that filling that void with anyone and anything isn't worth it. This weekend I went for a bike ride, watched sunset, had sushi, alone. I started reorganizing my plans, evaluating what matters and what doesn't. It's not that bad. Not saying don't be social with folks you care about, friends. But it's not bad to be alone too. Exercise, learn something, work on something new. The chaos and the go go go attitude can stress you out. Some fo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 09:17 PM
1

I think you waited too long unfortunately. There's a rule that says fire fast, hire slowly, which also should apply to relationships. If she shows red flags get rid of her right away, you don't owe her an explanation... She didn't feel like she owed you an explanation when she banged another dude 😅
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 09:09 PM
1

Ahh yes. I've also been curious how many people do this. I think if you live in a western country, have a solid career, built some capital, it's probably not practical to take all assets and leave. I mean forget the fact that most assets are not liquid so it's not that easy to move them, and whatever destination country may have questions about the source of these assets, but you'd likely be moving there permanently. I dont think that's worth it in my opinion. You might be better off setting up …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 07:00 AM
1

It's not a light topic to bring up but if she's refusing to do a prenup it's going to be a concern for you moving forward. How do you want to buy a house, build a business and work your a** off, which most men would gladly do for the family, knowing that she didn't want to sign that prenup. It makes more sense for her to just do it... Having said that, you could put that money away, maybe a trust, and only use your new money to make joint investments. Check with a lawyer but assets you had prior…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 06:10 AM
6

On every break up these days you're either a narcissist, abusive or controlling. I wouldn't get bothered by these labels. If I were to put a label on me I'd say I'm the idiot who made some bad choices. Hey, at least my mistakes I own! 😅
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 05:59 AM
1

If there are no kids I wouldn't think twice. Job and business can hold you back, I understand that. But let's say you're mid 40s, built some capital in a western country, maybe a work from home engineer or something similar. You could live a pretty good life elsewhere, meet some babes, switch gears from all the rat race for a bit. No need to make it permanent...
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 04:48 AM
7

From what I read, finances and time sound like the main causes of stress that's preventing you from recovering. What do you do and how much do you make? Whats your custody, child and spousal support situation like? Were you the breadwinner before? I ask this because there's a chance you might be overpaying her. If you're not comfortable with finances I wouldn't consider dating seriously. Go on coffee dates but that's it... Your focus should be on making money because that's what you will need, a…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 03:00 AM
1

I Iove this book. Just to be clear though, this isn't exactly about dealing with your ex. You dont choose nice vs not nice here, the answer is indifference. Not trying to get her back now are we? That's my 2c though
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 07:23 PM
3

You failed to listen to her saying I'm not happy, so you're holding yourself responsible for this. Since your kids are grown I assume you're more senior than me, so my perspective might not be accurate. But when she's saying I'm not happy it usually means shes porking another guy or planning to. There's nothing you could have done at that point to bring things back. You probably had many opportunities to go outside the marriage to find "happiness", but you chose family. She didn't... Acts of kin…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 07:09 PM
13

I wouldn't put divorced in my resume that's for sure. But you do have a choice, to dwell on the past or look towards the future with your new self. Family I had is gone, and now it's a new family without my ex and that's okay. I had some pretty bizarre health issues as well, stress, anxiety attack which I didn't even know existed, drank, smoked a lot. It's important to do something every day that improves you. Today I went for a bike ride, fresh air and cardio, watch sunset, alone. It's fantasti…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 03:25 AM
2

This sounds like a nightmare dude. Get the hell out and I don't mean that literally but really plan your exit now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:18 PM
2

Regarding the other man being in your child's life, just understand that this is out of your control and there is nothing you can do about it. You can make things difficult for them for some time but it's not a productive use of your time and you might make things worse for yourself. You don't want this woman back, so what's the point. I'd say use that energy towards something more productive, like being the best dad or self-improvement, making money, working out, looking good, making friends. Y…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 06:39 PM
1

Quoting Rolo, spin plates. It's good for you
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 12:14 AM
1

You post sums it all. But it helps to look at it in positive light. You can also look for someone else, bang them every single night in ways you never did her. And to be quite honest, buffed dads that look good, make lots of money, have far better options than bossy, broke single moms. So yes tinder, hinge, bumble, your son's kindergarten teacher... Become better, look better and women will check you out ;) Another fallacy to point out for dads. I always felt inadequate because I'm a dad and tha…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 10:36 PM
1

Leave quietly could be the way to go, but I don't mean that literally - don't leave your house. In fact, you can even say you feel like a simp and that she deserves better. Of course, that sounds ridiculous, but the reason why I say this is because if you escalate things she might turn into a viper and fight you on everything. It's draining and costs a lot in legal fees. Most likely she will anyway, but if she believes that she's getting the better deal it will work in your favor. Oh and please …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 10:16 PM
1

Some of the first advice I've been hearing after separation is gym, get in shape, be the best version of yourself. It takes an event like divorce to start taking that seriously. It is a very difficult thing to go through. Why not get started on this now? if marriage survives good, if not you're a few steps ahead where you need to be. One thing that I see that could be advantageous is that youre not the high earner, which means she might be paying you child support/alimony. That could be a reason…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 02:17 AM
6

The car crash you're explaining is a fender bender not being slammed on by an egoistic dunk driver. But I get your point :)
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 11:09 PM
3

It does take long. You need to be on top of lawyer because it's almost like they love dragging this on forever. some pressure on them is needed to get the ball rolling. Regarding over-communication, I typically ignore useless stuff that's not important. Grey rock works wonders to minimize contact. I don't even say hi if I don't have to, I say hi to my kid and laugh with him, totally snubbing her. Yes I'm resentful, but it's not about that but more about not wanting her drama in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 09:05 PM
3

Read this comment below https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/OfhBq7AhB1 You call it remorseful, I'd call it "grass wasnt greener" and she's come to that realization.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 10:26 PM
16

Grey rock. If there is no chatting there is no confusion. Strictly business. If she's nice it means she looking to get saved somewhere. Let captain save a ho pick that tab 😂
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:46 PM
2

Mine threatened to fight me on custody when I asked her to pay for her share of bills. It might be worth reminding her that ultimately you'll both settle for what is reasonable minus all the lawyer fees. It really depends on how much an a**hole her lawyer is but they also don't like to be dealing with unreasonable requests. There are probably stuff that are more important for them to do than this type of nonsense. So unless she has tons of money and wants to fire a bunch of lawyers who won't do …
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:32 PM
4

Let me make this a bit more graphic. She banged another dude while she was with you. If she's done this once she's likely going to do it again and likely did this several times. I'm no therapist to see if you can work this out but I don't tolerate cheating. Not because I'm a fanatic but because that's sets a precedence where she can treat you like trash and walk away with half your stuff and maybe your kids too if you have a small argument. Think about what this means and rip the bandaid. People…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 08:15 PM
2

Mine was 4 yo and getting my lifestyle adjustments to make 50/50 work was pretty rough, even though this was very important to me. Not sure how custody will work but this adjustment can be pretty hard with the age of your kids. Gets better later though.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 03:27 AM
2

Wow... what do you do Sir? 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 08:20 PM
1

Maybe he went to the "casino" and that's where his cash went? Just saying.. my ex had zero in her account when we separated, and I have a feeling she'd do the same if tables were turned.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 03:05 AM
1

I think there are circumstances in which remarrying might be hard to avoid. For example, let's say you want someone from another country that's more culturally similar to join you. Or let's say you have kids but want more, it's a bit hard to pull off without some sort of formality - I mean having kids you're automatically common law. Having said that though, would you be able to achieve that but still stay protected if things go sour? If the answer is yes, whatever that strategy is, then marriag…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:25 PM
2

I'd take this thread and send it to him. System shouldn't reward bad behavior, in general...
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:06 PM
1

Why did you give her your savings and are happy she gets a good start? She cheated. Not sure if you have kids but if you do then she destroyed the family. She was selfish and does not deserve a good start and your savings. What you're going through is rough, and will continue to be rough. I'm sorry you're going through this. But I just wanted to point out that you need to focus on YOU now and only you, because it will take some work to rebuild your life. She's gone and not your concern anymore. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 08:57 PM
5

At the time of separation she had no money, zero, even though she was employed and contributed nothing to the household with money. Betrayal was planned and deliberate. After realizing that this is the operating system that most, if not all, women run on it bothers me less. Women don't share their pot of gold with men but will gladly take it from them. Now that I know this I act accordingly. I'm trying to treat this like a failed business venture where I had to write things off as a loss. This w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 05:49 PM
2

Not seeing why a single mom should be more understanding than a woman with no kids. The jealousy part probably depends on the person. I dated a girl (no kids) who used to encourage me to have a better relationship with my ex due to the fact that we share time with my son. 🤷‍♂️ Nothing against single moms but I tried it and won't get near that again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 05:00 PM
5

Quoting rich cooper, "women don't care about your struggles, they wait at the finish line and pick the winners". Sickness and health line sounds nice but that's just fantasy. And to be fair, it works both ways... If I'm fit, loaded, and cute young babes are looking at me, and I have a nagging overweight wife that does not respect me guess what... About the money grab though... I totally get it. It cost me crap load of money, but it's a write off so I can be free. At least I got a good lesson out…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 03:48 AM
1

Wouldnt this be financial abuse? She shouldn't be allowed to do this since you both should be allowed to access shared assets. I'd borrow money and press hard on custody and finances. I'm not a lawyer but letting her get away with it might set a precedence for her to be pulling this kind of stuff again. Your home is also yours, accounts are also yours.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 07:35 PM
1

Holly crap she is a piece of work. I'd grey rock her and only focus on kid issues with her. The fact that she changed locks is a good reason to stay away from her to avoid further escalations, it's not like you voluntarily left. Sounds like you're going to have to fight her for everything in court. Wow... I wonder if recording stuff helps because that could be something you can use in court, probably best to check with attorney though.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 05:07 PM
5

While I think divorce is painful and costs a lot of money, and is really messy if you have kids, I'm not completely opposed to it. But dude... You're 22. They say men peak around age 35 so why the hurry? There are a lot of things you need to do to reach your potential. I'm not saying it's always a bad idea but if it's the wrong partner it will really mess things up for you. I'd give it some time if you're serious about having kids and family, at least 30-35.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 08:48 AM
2

If you're not looking for anything serious then online dating can be good. Hinge worked well for me. Post some good, fit, and maybe buffed photos. I dont think you'll find mother stock or wife material there but for casual dating it's probably fine. If you're dating many simultaneously then they probably are too 😅. If youre positive about it then it can be fun. There will be weird ones, flakes, catfish, rejections, and you'll probably want to reject some that want to get close too soon. Ultimate…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 12:09 AM
1

Nice list. Gotta watch of for baby rabbies ones too. Its hard to confirm this but baby trapping could be something to worry about. Their biological clock is ticking around this age so they might go for it if they find you good looking and you seem like a provider type.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:51 PM
1

Have you consulted with an attorney? I think leaving your matrimonial home is a very bad idea. It might be better to have some parenting agreement and separation signed before leaving. I'd seek some legal help and plan the exit first. Damage done to family is one thing but how family law will treat you afterwards is another.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:37 PM
1

It really doesn't matter. It's a typical pattern... Woman decides to leave, plans her exit and likely monkey branching, then stops caring, now you start processing, confused she's actually doing it, sometimes pleading and trying to work things out, eventually accepting, self improving and healing, and finally moving on. To save you unnecessary suffering accept it's over and stop talking to her, try to exit this ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:33 PM
1

Not sure what your agreement is but if you're going to be sharing income taxes every year then spousal support and child support can change if your income changes. As for us, we agreed on no spousal with some other arrangements, but child support is likely to change if my income changes. Probably best to check with lawyer though.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 10:29 PM
1

If she asked about living in separate households then that might be the best. If that happens I wouldn't bother living with her anymore. If she's asked for it once then there is a chance she might do that again and it's probably not healthy for anyone. I've been battling with the same dilemma about what if I invited someone to cohabitate with my son being around 50% of the time. Maybe I would, but I'd make sure that if someone had to move it'd be her, not me and my son. So in a way she'd be welc…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 09:58 PM
14

Read "no more mr nice guy". Some red pill content could really benefit you. I don't think putting a woman on a pedestal is a good thing. Please don't do this again. I used to be that guy... It just does not serve you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 06:56 PM
1

First, do not move out of your house. This is your home and it's generally seen as a bad thing by the judge if you leave your matrimonial home. Second, consult with a lawyer immediately. Once you find out that she's banging another dude it's going to be an emotional rollercoaster for you. This is where you might be tempted to act irrationally. I hate to break this to people talking about amicable divorce but it's quite rare - two main things you won't agree on are probably going to be finances a…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 11:23 AM
1

If you're going to dig for dirt you will for sure find it. If you're having any kinds of problems in marriage it's probably a good time to start planning your exit, just in case, not that it will happen but so that you're prepared. You can do other things too, video record, audio record, gps tracker. Eventually things will leak but you want to focus on you, stay protected now - get a lawyer (chances are she has retained one for a while if she's thinking about it) and then you can talk to her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:23 AM
7

Exactly this. Word amicable was floating around a lot from both of us. In reality it can only be amicable if one of the parties accepts the defeat, and that was not going to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:12 AM
3

Yes, most likely someone they have already done or at the very least someone lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 11:03 AM
1

Since she is SAHM I'd advise you talk to your lawyer first and get a good understanding of how this will affect you financially. You will have to pay her, which is something you won't be able to avoid anyway, but it's better to be prepared well. I don't think people change honestly. It takes a complete 180 sometimes to snap people back to reality. This might not be the best advice but I do believe in 48 laws of power - law 9: win through actions, not argument. If she does not respect you and is …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 05:03 PM
2

I think women are entitled to spousal support up to a point so that they don't end up on the street. Anything other than basic expenses is a luxury and is a total bs. Man supports her lifestyle just because one day he got trapped. What a joke... So then the only thing remaining is to play that very same game, play dirty 😉
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 03:45 PM
10

I'm not seeing only one mistake here, there are a handful. Wives dont have crushes. Get rid of her before you end up having children with this person. Delaying this could end up being a nightmare for you. Remember, it's sometimes the little things that men tend to ignore because they seem harmless but they'll come back later and destroy your life. In fact, those are not little things, these are huge red flags so thankfully you should know what needs to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 10:50 AM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 03:52 PM
10

"maybe if it's the right person..." - No, marriage still does not serve men even if it's the right person. Things change, people get sick, sex can dry up, bodies age, attraction can be lost, you can lose your job, dudes at work might wanna bang her, you might want to bang other women, priorities in life can change, etc. meeting the right person can be a beautiful thing, but I wouldn't bet on it being risk-free. The right person is still a woman 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 05:54 AM
9

I'd add a point that's pretty important. Get legal advice now and protect yourself. The woman you divorce is not the one you married. Need to be prepared for this and untie the knot as soon as possible. Ask me how I know...
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 12:35 AM
3

After separating my commitment to priorities has changed. I work a lot harder, dont skip workouts, had plenty of dates, currently seeing someone 10 years younger so standards are definitely going up. In a way I think I needed this.. it's been a catalyst to self improvement. It's no walk in the park unfortunately, time is very scarce, I dont remember when I watched TV. She probably has a much easier life, but I'm much happier with the new life I am creating. There are challenges, ups and downs, b…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 12:09 AM
5

Yea... Saying yes to everything sounds like a good way to find peace at home but it's not.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:55 AM
8

I can't speak for everyone but I think men can do much better as they age. Believe me I'm never looking at 40 something women, ever! I'm in my forties and I find that women look at me more now than ever before. The ones I want to meet are usually under 35. I guess what I'm saying is, go to gym, look fit, have some style. Fitness level generally lifts your looks. I got a hair transplant and might get another one later. Some people shave their heads, whatever works. I don't believe that you will h…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:46 AM
1

Yep if she's getting legal advice she knows that with you leaving she can have the upper hand with custody and likely money too. Your kid is 17 so maybe it's a bit easier in terms of support but I'd check with a lawyer. I wouldn't move out but be very careful to not escalate into some false DV accusations. It almost happened to me and I'd never guess that could happen to me. Mine also told me she was done a few times. It should have been a clue to start preparing for an exit from that time. Wait…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 02:26 AM
7

Gym, exercise, meet your guy friends, golf or maybe some other sport, maybe a motorcycle, get out in the water, go on dates. There are tons of stuff you can do. Picking up a new hobby that you always wanted to try could be a good experience. Connect with the brotherhood. I find this is more helpful. You don't want to fill that void with another woman right now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 06:12 PM
4

Always put yourself first Always work on yourself, have plenty of options Do not marry without a prenup Plan for what you do if things don't work out If your gut is telling you things aren't good exit early before it's too late
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 01:48 AM
3

No. It was a bad match, and I take full accountability for not ending it sooner. It is a bit unfortunate though that now I view the world, couples, relationships and women with a different lense. It's a great skill and it serves me well but ... It's a cold world out there 🥶
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 08:07 PM
2

Congrats!
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 11:44 PM
1

First I wanted to lose weight, then I joined this sub and started lifting. Started getting v shape and some looks. Now I do minimum 3 days a week. Helps with confidence not just with women, but also you get the feeling that people respect you more and won't mess with you. It's great. Honestly I don't know why I didn't do it before... I just wasn't here then.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 03:10 AM
1

Hard to say man, but I can tell you that a reasonably nice car, nice apartment and looking good and buffed has made access to new women much much easier for me. It is pretty shallow but it does make a difference. I'm in early 40s, with a 5 year old. I work in engineering, and also try do run a side biz. Thankfully though a lot of the groundwork has been done before divorce so it has been a bit easier. But it is still very hard work... But I listen to some Andrew Tate, suck it up and do the work.…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 10:53 PM
1

I wouldn't count on 2 incomes. Women don't share their pot of gold. I know it's not easy, but what if you made those 2 incomes yourself, looked good and buffed and didn't look for relationships. I guarantee you will have better luck with these changes.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 09:47 PM
8

If there was an investment that you could make money on, but there was a 50% risk that you'd lose 50% of your assets and more, as a sane man you would not do it. And somehow for a woman you would take that risk, send her to school, take her on dinners and vacations, maybe even pay for in-laws, help them out, carry their groceries and help them move. It's pretty messed up because men are supposed to be rational thinkers. Its pretty liberating to be aware of this reality though. Believe it or not …
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 09:36 PM
4

Upvote the wisdom here please.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 09:12 PM
3

I love this sub 😂
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 05:39 AM
6

2 cats
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:00 PM
2

Yes. Her sense of entitlement. Get back in line lady... 😂 I like Kevin Spacey line "the only reason you are here is because of me. Without me you are NOTHING". I don't know how true that is but time will tell 😅
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 09:28 PM
1

I'm kind of curious about her life choices too. What did she expect? It's ok to want to throw the father out and his kid because shes having a bad day? And then expect some security too, which most likely she's going to need with the newborn. Pretty nuts. I don't want to stir things here but I'd only expect this behavior if the new kid is actually not his.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 08:37 PM
7

As rolo says, when you take out the trash you don't take it back. It's messy, neighbors see it, and why would you take it back anyway? The problem is that if she did it once she'll most likely do it again. Also, you saw her new face when she tried to screw you over. Do you want THAT back? I know I don't... And I mean, she's okay as a person really, wish her well but definitely not taking her back. No more captain save a ho 😅
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 11:30 PM
7

In retrospect I think there are cues before flipping the switch, at least for me, but it's maybe one of those things you tolerate and ignore. The flip of the switch is when she securely monkey branched somewhere else and has decided to cut you out. As I read more on this sub and elsewhere Im finding that this is a typical pattern women follow. I don't mean to say anything bad about it, they want security, especially if they have kids. But it's at least interesting to know the process and stay pr…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 08:11 PM
1

True, and if she can deliberately be useless to me she would gladly do it 😂
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:19 AM
1

Haven't heard this before but there's other explanations too. Check war brides idea. A lot of it has to do with preserving reputation. You have to be the villain for them to walk away clean.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 11:05 PM
3

She is miss perfect, but apparently has made some wrong choices in life and now the kids have to suffer. This kind of stuff blows my mind, the selfishness. It's one of the toughest things a dad can go through, but stay focused and you'll get through this. It does get better, especially if you had a dysfunctional marriage. It's not the same, but can be a LOT better. Fight for your kids and yourself. She is now your adversary and could easily be one of your worst ones. You'll need to stand your gr…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 06:59 PM
2

Love it. Welcome to the club.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:07 AM
4

Not leaving because you felt bad resonates with me. It is one of the worst mistakes you can make. A bit late but now I know.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 12:14 AM
1

The best revenge is living well. People will see this and all the blabbing she does will do her no good. People are not stupid. They can take her side, hang out with her but they will know her flaws. I didn't have this problem because I deleted all her circle from my life, which is actually an amazing thing for me. But the best thing for you is probably to move on with your life. She is someone elses problem now. Let her unload all that energy to others.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 07:57 PM
0

My kid is 5 so way too early to think what I'd say to a 20 year old. I worry this is bad advice but some red pill content could help.At the very least understand that men need respect not love. It's hard when young men don't understand hypergamy and that she will give no 2 craps if she decides to get another dude. Sometimes guys need to go through this to understand. Perhaps the best advice is to tell them how risky tying the knot is for him and that he could regret it. Heartbreak is bound to ha…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 05:05 PM
1

Dude, she kicks you and your son whenever she feels like? That's not good. You do not want to be in that position. Whatever agreement you come up with you don't want you and your son to be at risk. Paying half her mortgage is another thing... Probably best to get a lawyer and understand what are the implications of this and what happens to the property if you part ways.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 12:05 AM
1

I think you will need to talk about sitting assets at the very least. Sabotaging your own assets which you'd want to split doesn't make sense to me. Keep it business only, anything non-business related you don't discuss. I've been through this and what I can say that anytime you feel bad about this just go to gym, work out hard. It's a good way to redirect your attention to self. It can come in waves too, so just keep that in mind, avoid doing things that are not good for you. Good diet, good he…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 05:02 AM
1

There are million of reasons women can pick to leave. Most likely it's not that but something else, maybe another bf or something. Mine told me I got too comfortable and wasn't helping her, complained to her parents about it. This was quite puzzling to me but then it all made sense, she's looking for an excuse to bang the bf and have everyone understand her. But here is the kicker... I look better than her, make 3-4 times more than her, much better discipline and have no loser friends. I don't k…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 11:38 PM
9

"Every rapid ends."
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/24 06:21 AM
1

One thing that might happen is they'll look at your expenses too and try to dispute them as illegitimate expense and basically add it to your income. You might want to build a good case of why those expenses are necessary for your business. Sadly my lawyer was lazy and I had to do most of this myself... Yes that's the end of that with this law firm
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:17 PM
1

I shouldnt be generalizing because everyone's situation is different. This is just an opinion but many share this also, as soon as you commit to a woman and put her on a pedestal she will slowly start to lose respect for you. It's a pretty tough place to be in. This is what I meant.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 05:46 PM
1

Hypergamy is real. It can sometimes just take 'the perception' that grass could be greener. I don't think it's you because she married you and wanted to have your kids at some point. It might be you though because you were clueless that this could happen. If she knew she could be replaced tomorrow, without any money from you, and she'd have to date lower, I doubt she'd even consider it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:20 PM
2

I think this resonates with me a lot. The way I see it though, is that you can accept it for what it is and just play your hand in this. It would be something like... yes those 3 dudes you were seeing = make that a 10, the 'i was abused' part = ya, they all say that, I dont believe in divorce = you just don't know yet, etc. Then at least you know what you're walking into. Or you can take a break completely but I don't see how that's really helping the situation. At the end of the day women can b…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 10:48 PM
3

When she said divorce I would be 90% sure, when she went out of town it's 99% and when she went the second time it's 100%. It is what it is, but at least it's good to have clarity of what's happening 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:49 PM
3

Exactly this. And I think even when in relationships that are potentially fixable they will always have someone in their mind as a backup plan. Once you're done you kind of see that this is true but it's easy to ignore when things are ok. At the end of the day, this is female nature and there isn't much you can do about it. The only thing you can do is work on yourself and have an abundance of options.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 08:25 PM
5

Depends on the area you're in but Hinge for me has worked pretty well. Tinder is pretty horrible, I think it has a lot of stale old profiles - they just want your money to get higher tiers. I'm 42, dropped weight, gained a lot of muscle... I hated that look but seems to work. I can't say I meet very attractive women but some are decent. Edit: I think it's worth noting that my standards are a lot higher than with my ex. I've been meeting women 10 years younger, attractive, fit, which is something…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 02:13 AM
3

I chuckled reading this. Part of me feels bad honestly. It's going to be a tough existence out there
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 02:02 AM
5

If you put some work on you, gym, good fitness level, you shouldn't have problems meeting new women. I tried online dating and met tons of women. Can't say they're LTR material but you do get a lot of practice and heck some of them look good, smell good, I don't care about LTR right now anyway. I've also tried being set up by family / friends. This is weird AF but could turn out better. My guess is that this way you find the ones with lower notch count... Online dating ones are doing everybody, …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 01:52 AM
21

The part about not loved unconditionally is spot on. Had I known before kids my life quality would be much much better. I sometimes think kids are a trick, to fulfill their biological need and then back to more unaccountability 😂 Not to be pessimistic about true love, but honestly what serves me better IS what's better. It's fine to be selfish, keep them at arms length and only let few in after you've covered all your bases. Just an opinion though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 01:43 AM
7

At 49 grass is NOT greener. Just a guess...
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 11:36 PM
1

I think youd want to let her go to save yourself from more damage that the divorce machine does to most men, NOT to make her life better. If she was worried about your well being she wouldn't think of nuking the family so she can be happy. My 2c.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 10:21 PM
4

Some people I didn't expect showed up in my life while others I knew better gradually disappeared. I dont blame them, divorce can be a bit contagious and people fear it. Maybe theyre in rocky relationships too, you never know. Now, you're also a predator, couples might feel uncomfortable about it. That's my take anyway... I think best support system is family but getting out there and finding your people is probably worth it too.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 08:05 PM
1

Some people I didn't expect showed up in my life while others I knew better gradually disappeared. I dont blame them, divorce can be a bit contagious and people fear it. Maybe theyre in rocky relationships too, you never know. Now, you're also a predator, couples might feel uncomfortable about it. That's my take anyway... I think best support system is family but getting out there and finding your people is probably worth it too.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 08:05 PM
2

Some people I didn't expect showed up in my life while others I knew better gradually disappeared. I dont blame them, divorce can be a bit contagious and people fear it. Maybe theyre in rocky relationships too, you never know. Now, you're also a predator, couples might feel uncomfortable about it. That's my take anyway... I think best support system is family but getting out there and finding your people is probably worth it too.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 08:05 PM
2

I'd always encourage people to save the marriage if they have kids. But there comes a point where that's not possible. It seems like over the years you've bent over backwards for this woman and now she will use the father and the condo as a reason why you lost connection? I call that bs. I'd say give her the space she needs, and you start looking after yourself. Plan your exit carefully, even if you won't need it. I'm paraphrasing someone else, save the man and marriage "might" have a chance. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 12:07 AM
13

I don't know who came up with the 50/50. You got a hard working ambitious man working 80 hours a week and a wife that watches TV shows and barely watches the kids. Then she gets 50%. Wow, this should be a lesson for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 02:13 AM
2

It's the fact that being a single dad there are a lot of things that can go wrong that would be less likely if I wasn't a single dad. So the question is if you're taking the risk why are you doing it and how do you protect yourself. I have 50/50 custody so my time is very limited. That's going to be a problem eventually. And quite frankly I don't see the value of committing to one person, which makes my time even more scarce. Those in my position who invest all their time in one girl might event…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 06:35 PM
3

Grey rock. The best revenge is to keep your head high, ignore her, keep it professional and about kids only. If it's really bothering you just remind her ONCE that you have no interest in hearing her opinion about things and you only care if its about kids and relevant. This is maybe off topic but do NOT do any favors. Everything is tit for tat. You don't fix her internet, do kids laundry, babysit on weekends, take care of groceries, be the nice parent that does this and that for kids. Dial that…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:04 AM
8

When you have young kids, women probably find it easier to navigate with kids since they're very accustomed to that. In most cases, they actually benefit from divorce since more often than not they're making less money, so they'll be entitled to half, child + spousal support. They have probably finished grieving the loss of marriage long before divorce so around this time it's actually a payday for them when they're probably banging the bf and enjoying life. My guess is that the devastation will…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 09:19 PM
2

Well done
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:48 PM
2

Dont let those thoughts enter your mind. Every rapid ends. I was in the same spot as you and drank and smoked a lot. Horrible for health. You will get through this and this experience will make you tough as nails. Right now keep your head above the water, until it's done. I still have tough times, lack of time, problems, but I can tell you it's a lot better and much better than being in a miserable marriage. You'll look at this one day and say f that, I'm not doing that life again.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 12:13 AM
5

If you don't have kids you dodged a bullet my friend. To stay strong go lift weights like your life depended on it. Thank me later. Gym, workout, self care, make money. There are plenty of women and you have lots of runway left. Dont waste it on women and feelings. Make her regret her decision, not to prove it to her but to yourself that you can do much much better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 12:07 AM
3

Feeling this is normal, but I wouldn't bother thinking if she's hiding the pain or whatever else. She's no longer your concern. Focus on yourself only and kids if you have any. Ideally, try doing something that brings a positive return: gym, make money, reorganize your life. Stay off alcohol and stuff that's not good for you. I've been separated a year. This morning I saw her take off to bf with her overnight stay bag, or wherever she goes... I'm fine with it because I met other women that I lik…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 10:52 PM
2

Putting we before me? That's what got us in this mess in the first place 😂 First you put we before me, then your culinary skills surpass hers, guess what's coming next.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 08:21 PM
5

Every rapid will end.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 04:39 AM
1

As one of the comments said, she hasn't found someone else to monkey branch to so she's enjoying the comfortable lifestyle you're providing. She is now a liability. She will get half of the income you're getting from 2 jobs once she is ready to pull the trigger. It will hurt a lot more financially if you wait. I'd file, get divorced legally and only THEN you can live like roommates. One thing that many men don't know, and maybe even she herself doesn't know, is that once the woman finds a guy sh…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 05:46 PM
1

This 💯
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 05:36 PM
2

Reuniting with a woman who cheats is fantasy. The best thing you can do right now is walk away. So here is the thing, I was always a better earner, more attractive, smarter in many ways, but I was probably not her best choice. She did not look up to me because I was blue pill conditioned, doing all the bs for her until one day I said enough. I find this is very common with guys. There is no way you can get her to respect you if you cling to her. Discard her, build a new reality, create other opt…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 06:31 PM
1

Freedom. Can't let that slip away again 😅
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 01:43 AM
4

It was a fluke. Yes, I was that bad at making the most important decision in life. 😅 I take full accountability for it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:29 AM
2

The writing is on the wall.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 06:49 PM
3

Tough spot to be, but this is a precursor of things getting worse not better. You'll have to make money, cook for your child, take care of the house while she's out watching volleyball. Believe me once she starts banging other dudes if she isn't already, and I hate to say this, you will get even angrier. Having said that, I personally believe that their fun is short lived. A woman without a job, with 3 kids from 2 different fathers is not exactly a catch. First thing you do is keep calm! You don…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 06:42 PM
6

If you're planning to pay child support and alimony and get no access to your kids then you're basically letting her get away with everything. If you said "I'm paying no support, moving out of country fuk it" then, as unpopular as that idea sounds, at least it makes some sense. She asked for war, give her one, and make it epic!
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:54 PM
2

I haven't ever seen an amicable divorce when money and custody is on the line. It will get ugly, maybe very ugly, before it gets better. Sadly the ugliness will leave a bad taste so I wouldn't count on being amicable. The best thing you can do is calculate the exit and get out of this situation as soon as possible. The longer you wait the worse it gets. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 09:35 PM
1

Your mind can sometimes play tricks on you about maybe she wants back, maybe things can return to how they were, but that won't happen. You will never want her back, trust me. It just takes some time to see her for who she will become.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 05:04 AM
2

This.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 04:59 AM
6

Mine went to travel for a month, and now is asking me how much the accountant charges. It's pretty sad to know what she'll do with money but I'd rather not think about it, someone else's problem now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 06:45 PM
8

Let's say you're an average looking dude and get this 9 or a 10 chick. There has to be a reason for this and money is usually one thing that guys can change in their life relatively easily (can't grow a foot taller or start looking like vin diesel unfortunately). I mean... If you know you're leading with your wallet it makes sense to protect yourself. Well, the first time around I slacked and paid the price for it 😅
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 11:48 PM
3

Yep exactly, similar position. I'd be a monster if I ever called anyone a thief. But hey this is a learning experience man, think of it that way. I made a mistake and I'm taking full accountability for it. When people put houses on family members name and registered businesses that they didn't own, I thought these guys are crazy but that could have been a smart move. Fuck trust, you don't trust no one but yourself with money.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 05:45 PM
10

My problem was always the opposite. Once you pass that novelty phase of the new kitty I'm just not as interested in sex with that person, not as much anyway. I think marriage is intended for family, kids, and historically it was about acquisition of inlaws. Marriage was not meant to lock your partner down so that you can have decades of exciting sex 😂
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 11:57 PM
6

No, never.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 10:29 PM
3

Once you're half way through divorce you'll realize that it's a mistake to forgive a girl who cheats. You should've ended it the first time. You're probably going through the stress of breakup but get ready for a pretty difficult time that comes with legal system, custody, asset splitting, child and maybe spousal support. Get a lawyer and get up to speed as soon as possible because get out of this with your skin is your end goal. Eventually you'll be fine. Yes you need to legally separate, she i…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:28 PM
2

Dude she sounds like a trainwreck. I hope you have no kids with her. When a girl cheats you get rid of her right there and never let her back in. Make that a rule please.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 01:59 AM
1

Who cares how you're perceived.its just business and accountability matters here. She's not your wife, not your friend. You will either need to set boundaries or bend over.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 11:52 PM
1

Please do share. Always good to have more tools in the toolbox :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 04:30 PM
2

I second this. I've heard so many stories where the ex tosses them to the curb like they're nothing. "But I never thought she'd do that" but then she does it. It's how it works most of the time. Don't get decimated by divorce machine!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 10:00 PM
4

I think you should consult with an attorney before you offer her to stay for a year. It might get veeeery ugly and you will regret doing her any favors. Has she told you about a bf yet? That will clear things up for you very fast. And it doesn't matter what she does, it doesnt for me, but it reminds you to protect yourself - stop saving her. One thing that sultan says that I like "save the man and marriage 'might' have a chance". You do NOT focus on marriage anymore and definitely not her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 06:00 PM
3

If you're 40+ trying to lock down a 25 year old I can see that fear of losing her. But locking that 40 year old single mom with purple hair... I mean interior on that might be ok but you know you're gonna have transmission problems, you don't fix that up 😅
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 01:54 AM
2

One thing I did right with my ex was to not spend much money on that ring 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 11:31 PM
2

There is clearly no benefit for a guy over 40 to get married. I think us that have gone through this process know this. I think the discussion to be had would be why is the marriage taking place. Its it to show people we are together? is it a pledge that some if not all money will flow to her? Is it to prove it to her that you love her? What is the point of it basically? And maybe you can make it sound less harsh but the gf should be able to give a valid reason why marriage is necessary. If the …
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 10:19 PM
5

It hurts me to see these hoes stepping all over dudes like you. Sorry you've gone through this but I hope you came out of this with a good lesson. My rule of thumb is if she cheats, she's gone for good. If she lies, you gotta check how much did she lie and about what. Most women will lie about their past, and I know I'm going to be down voted for this but I said "most" and I stand by that 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:19 AM
3

There was a time when if I wasn't out with some chick doing something it felt like I'm missing out. At some point I started to value time by myself, even if it's just sitting around a coffee shop doing nothing. There is nothing wrong with not pursuing women. I do like the idea of having women around though. Some of them look good, smell good and are pleasant to have around. Some intimacy with them helps my day. If you're not attracting these types of women then I'd say alone time and improving y…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 11:25 PM
3

I saw women I went to dates with list MY hobbies as their hobbies, and I guarantee you those were never their hobbies. Funny but happens a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 07:47 PM
4

One thing I learnt, not just from this book but others as well, is that there's a difference between being kind, and being nice with expectation of something in return -- even if its just to be liked more. I found that if you go even farther and listen to what red pillers have to say it sounds a whole lot more jaded than that. You can take things you like and leave things you don't, but having some awareness of the bs that happens daily is a good thing. That's for me at least, it just serves me …
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 03:14 AM
1

You don't typically see guys dating around to knock someone up, usually. At least that's not the goal usually, I'm not saying they don't want children.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 12:48 AM
1

Exactly what I was thinking. Men peak at late 30s while women do at 23. If you focus your energy on yourself you'll be a lot better off without an almost menopausal cheating wife. Go to gym and start looking at these young fine ladies. Not saying you should right now, but eventually you will.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 11:40 PM
8

My advice is keep cool and happy until you get all the legal questions answered. When you are ready to pull the trigger you can tell her you want divorce. If you can do so as swiftly as possible. You don't want this to drag for a while as that is unnecessary punishment for you and most of us. Ask me how I know... I suggest candidly record your "talk". Emotions can get hot and you don't want any DV charges or even false accusations. From that point on, grey rock, no need to discuss anything but k…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 10:32 PM
7

Or if they're not ovulating he might get a shot, but he's definitely taking those photos that end up in Hinge 😂
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:44 AM
5

Some folks here might disagree, but when the typical treatment like a stranger starts just know that she's been messing with other men and most likely has someone right now. The only reason I mention this is in hope that it will be a catalyst to your healing process: get angry, remove her from your thoughts, then healing and self improvement. I remember my ex at some point locking her bathroom door for privacy, which she didn't as much before. These are good cues, you don't need to wait for writ…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 06:26 PM
20

No you don't ever take an ex who cheats back, never.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 08:48 PM
4

That's a hit and run material 😅
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 03:46 AM
8

I somehow found her b* attitude attractive back then. In reality there is nothing attractive about it. It's something people should run away from, bad at treating others, entitled, sometimes rude.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 03:22 AM
9

Here's what I would do. Pretend like everything is good and get a lawyer to prepare for the absolute worst. It's much better if you're well prepared. Avoid acting irrationally when emotions are high, that can cause more pain than necessary. And I don't mean just break up pain but financial pain too. Ask me how I know... Once you have good clarity on how you will execute this then have the divorce talk as calmly as possible. Woman you married is never the same as one you divorce. No matter how ni…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 04:36 PM
1

I think you want to do gym for a least 2-3 months before dating. I got new photos and women that matched me online were interested more often than not. I think that's important because you want to start developing an abundance mindset instead of having no success right at the start. The other thing I'd say is to spin plates. Date multiple women simultaneously to improve your game since it must be rusty if you're just starting out. See what the options looks like, you don't want to land on the fi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 05:22 PM
2

I love and respect women but they're not particularly good at apologizing. Why even bother have that conversation. The best closure is to ignore her and show that you're all cool with everything, and ideally not do that for show only but for yourself too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 04:53 PM
1

While it wasn't entirely her fault, she did sleep with another man. I could care less what she does once that happens. Once you learn you have better options, that heals faster than what she does honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 05:52 AM
3

You could be on friendly terms, but she might have retained a lawyer for some time now. That means she might be ahead with her plans on what she wants out of this. I'm not saying it's not possible to be on friendly terms, but for me it was a big risk to take: custody and half my assets. I would never trust a woman who is divorcing you. And it turned out to be a good decision. But maybe that's just me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 05:33 AM
1

I like this thread. Money has been one of the main problems for me, every ex goes after it, we know that... I'm self-employed and incorporated but offer engineering pro services. Income is ok. Also have a side hustle. I'm comfortable with making money. She wants income statements of my business every year so that child support can be adjusted every year. Also she'll be looking at expenses my business has? Still negotiating these terms but sounds like bs. After all that she'll be taking I need to…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 05:03 AM
5

You can also look at it differently. Instead of saying it's a tragedy it could be a blessing in disguise. It's one of the toughest things men have to go through but you might end up better off, eventually. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 09:06 AM
1

I don't think you need to do it if you don't have any desire to do it. The bonus from this is you might be able to wrap the divorce up quicker instead of stirring emotions which can actually slow things down. I did it because I wanted to though, and can be fun too... If she wants to splurge, waste money and have fun, I'll do the same and more. Not the most rational decision but exercising your freedom does feel good.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 11:37 PM
2

I don't blame the AP but I don't do married women with kids. Theres a lot of single girls out there, why pick one with kids? Have them make another one? 😂 They're messed up as it is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 11:29 PM
0

I don't think he's wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 11:18 PM
2

Being separated is usually not well received unless she is too. But that is a crazy idea unless it's play only for both. Some women are ok with it but they might need to be saved or theres some other catch. Again a crazy idea. If you're separated I think I'd keep everything casual. I tell them that this is my situation and if you're not ok with it let's wrap it up. I think this is usually better than avoiding this and having that conversation much later. It's just unnecessary drama that you don'…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 07:33 PM
2

Curious, why are you divorcing? I'm early 40s and wondering what might lie ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 07:22 PM
1

You shouldn't have a relationship with a cupcake but I dont know if dating is that terrible. A new kitty now and then can speed the recovery. Not saying this helps everyone but I think it helped me. One thing though, if another woman suggests hey come with me 300 miles+ away from your kid I don't take her seriously. And eventually I'll tell her this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:51 AM
5

I love my kid to death, but if you decide to spend time with them it's hard to find energy left to also deal with ambitions - especially if you want to give it your 100%. This one is hard. It's always a hustle, operating at 150% and doing a bad job at both, or eventually burning out. I'm amazed at some people how they can just decide to cut losses and pursue one way or the other. I'm not there yet.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 06:02 PM
2

On the short term she will be happier because it's a lot easier for women for many reasons. You are playing the long game. Once you accept this you'll see that your life actually looks much better than hers. At the end of the day, who cares, work on yourself, do the work, and don't worry about happiness right now. I just read another comment about ending cohabitation situation. This will mess with your head and she might even try to make that more difficult for you. It will hamper your progress.…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 12:00 PM
1

If you leave the house you have a good reason for it. The fight will then turn into a legal fight which isn't pleasant but I think it's necessary if you want to get what you deserve.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 08:50 AM
1

Your income is not a lot different. Get the most you can out of the pot then be done with her. There is zero benefit to playing nice in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 08:48 AM
0

You have no kids. Live your life, pick about a few young girls and take them out for ice cream. You're worried about her seeing you do this? I wouldn't give... 😅 Enjoy your life man
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:29 PM
4

Mine is 5. It's a lot easier than 9 or 10. Ill be the best dad I can be, and I never badmouth mom. She can do whatever she wants, I have no control over it. I do believe that kids will remember how you raised them...
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:32 PM
-3

If you're a Chad then yes, she might even buy you dinner. I'm not saying don't split bills and provide for her, be a simp. I'm saying you have to make more money than her. She has to look up to you and not some other dude, if you want the best girl for you anyway. Hypergamy is real. It's easier to come to peace with it than have hopes on things working out without you doing the work. My 2c anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:20 PM
0

I had the same issue with my ex not working. It bothered me that I am the sole provider and she just wanted to be the so-called homemaker... We had our differences and I think divorce was inevitable but my opinion about wife not working has slightly changed. If she'd rather be at home and take care of kids, make a good home for you, it's actually not a bad thing. As a man, you do have to take the main role of handling finances. Women will never respect you if you don't do this. My advice is to f…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:00 PM
2

Her ruling is BS if most other cases are 50/50 split. I don't know if a better attorney can help, but I have a feeling it could have.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 07:09 PM
3

Not sure how you're not getting 50% of the house that you put in the market. Why is that?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 02:53 PM
1

Does she work? How different are your incomes? Once you start discussing divorce she might already be out and you're just buying her time to figure the best outcome for her. She might have retained a lawyer, maybe planning out the new prospects to monkey branch to, most likely just watching your every move that she can later capitalize on. If she's making less than you then it's more income for her. Remember the state won't let her lose this battle. You can only hurt yourself if you don't get ou…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 02:46 PM
4

There is no quick pill to this. You will go through pain. Dont skip it, you can delay it but you will have to go through it. After that you'll be okay.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 09:22 PM
1

I didn't give no two s***s about it. Just so you know...
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 07:26 PM
2

Time will change your mindset if you work on you. Go to gym, look good, make money. Thank me later.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:42 PM
2

Early 40s here. Have a son. I wanted more kids but who knows if it will happen, definitely not with women I've been dating so far. But it's possible to find a decent partner and have more. I think your purpose should be to NOT make that the main purpose. Quite frankly women aren't even attracted to guys who have that purpose. I'm almost quoting rich cooper but your purpose should be to make a dent on the universe, be the best version you can be, make money, look good and healthy, lose that gut, …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 09:20 PM
4

+1
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 08:25 PM
0

Nah I'm just kidding man. That ain't happening again
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 06:38 PM
2

Yeah lump sum is what I'll push back on. It's only 10% of the amount she'd be getting in asset splitting though so it seems like it won't make a dent. At this point I'll try to take whatever I can 🤷‍♂️ My previous lawyer told me that she won't have an easy way to get to my incorporated business cash, but apparently that's not correct? Fascinating how two lawyers can have a very different interpretation of law.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 03:51 PM
0

If I'm incorporated where I am the director of that entity is she entitled to half of that also or can I make a case to prevent her from accessing that money?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 01:56 PM
7

Custody is good. 50/50. Today was her day, and kid cried because he didn't want to go to her but wanted to stay with dad. Don't know if this is a good or a bad thing. It does concern me, but that's a whole different story.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 06:22 AM
4

Hah, maybe I've listened to a lot of 90s rap but yes dog eat dog world is a way to put it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 06:03 AM
4

Hey thanks for this. It's a good thing to keep in mind. I hope she does honestly. I have a feeling that would simplify things for me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 05:39 AM
1

I think I just gotta rip the bandaid... I don't like the idea of half the assets since that's way more than what alimony is, relatively speaking. If thats a given then...perfect I'm looking forward to my second marriage 😂
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 05:25 AM
2

Divorce is hard, no question about it. But it's a lot harder when you have kids. It's impossible to write off the ex and move on. Follow usual advice you see here, go to gym, look good, make money, be the best version of yourself. Double down on this and stop chasing tail. Once you take care of yourself the horizon opens up, options appear everywhere, it's quite fascinating.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 05:09 AM
3

Divorce is like a stain, it leaves a mark and whether it's good or not people just choose to see that stain. For that reason I dont think it's worth explaining that to people. If they have gone through it maybe you can relate, otherwise meh it's none of their business. One good thing that I have that other people don't is that now I see people's relationship dynamics and how they struggle to keep it together. Not saying that everyone is struggling but a lot of people are. They try to fill it wit…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 05:07 AM
2

If you have made up your mind about leaving, for good reasons, then working out things usually doesn't last long. Do you have kids, as that would be my only reason why I'd want to work things out. Women can, and this is sort of what happened to me, try to give it another shot, but in the background theyre now putting a lot more emphasis on their exit plan. It's a typical monkey branching strategy where she will line up her back up options, get legal advice, off load any responsibilities to you, …
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 10:00 PM
1

My plan is to show up on the day before weekend. If she cancelled her plans she will ask what am I doing there. If not I'll have to cancel mine and take the kid that weekend. I thinking signing a separation agreement is very close so once that's done then I can be an *hole without much fear of her retaliating. Sucks to be on this position but it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 02:55 PM
3

Exactly. She agreed to my vacation days but is not agreeing to what was decided for days until my vacation starts. We both have access to sons calendar, so she goes in makes changes, sets some rules that are common sense to her without me knowing, then tells me I have to cancel my plans because that's common sense. The right thing to do would be that she made a mistake and own that, she didn't check the calendar... :) Parenting plan so far based on our agreement, nothing signed on paper yet. At …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 02:34 AM
1

Yeah that's where I want to get to, but we don't have an agreement yet. Separated for a year already, nothing signed. Hoping to get that done soon and hopefully that puts this to bed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 02:19 AM
8

No. You can meet other women, build new friendships. I met a girl and in 3 months I learnt more about her than my ex of 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 03:38 AM
12

She is no longer your problem. That's the silverlining of the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 09:51 PM
-1

Lots of casual dating, multiple women in rotation, eventually gets exhausting and have to clean up my slate. I've been called jaded before, you should see me now, I'm that x 10. It would be nice to have an LTR again, there are parts of that that I miss. But after you start learning womens behavior and their operating system it seems like a high risk low reward kind of investment. I mean ... I've been putting thought into this, if a woman isn't complementing my life in some way why do I want her …
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 08:56 PM
1

It has been taking forever to get a separation agreement. Lots of back and forth with both lawyers, they are really taking their time, all of us having vacations and time off. It's been a year and there hasn't been much movement. What are the risks of having this take this long? How do you go about expediting this? It seems that the two lawyers are trying to work something out and have hers present an offer. My lawyer is saying this usually takes a while and I should avoid court because it's pos…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:15 AM
5

This is why I dont date women around 40. What's the point when there are younger ones who are less entitled, better looking and much better in the sack 😅 I haven't finalized the separation yet, I am really fearing that 40% of my paycheck thing. I don't want to be cheap about my kid but I really hope to God there is a way around that 😅
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 11:58 PM
3

There are two main ones: money and child care (5 yo) / parenting. With hard work you can handle these also but they are challenging at first. Dating wise, after waking up to reality I have realized women are abundant and everywhere. It might be hard to find the good one but they are everywhere
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 06:45 PM
0

I think people get fixated on marriage a lot these days, on whether that makes sense or not. Personally, I think there should be more emphasis on whether you should have kids or not. This ties you up regardless of your status. It basically grants her all the privileges of a wife and the entitlements of possibly many many years of hard work you put in. And here is the sketchy thing... You still care about the financial future of your kids but she doesn't. What are you going to do then?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 06:29 PM
3

So she was was advised that you are not entitled to capital gains just her? What a bunch of bs 😂 get a lawyer man. Tell her what you've been advised.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 08:24 PM
6

Why dude...
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 02:21 AM
3

I thought the only way to handle these thoughts was to do exactly as she does. Talk a lot, meet women, sleep with them, have "fun". It's still great to get a new kitty every now and then, but actually you don't need to do what she does. My recipe for fighting these thoughts, which I haven't perfected yet, but some of these worked for me: 1) delete anything about her in your mind. Block her social media, minimize contact with her - grey rock is amazing! Stop following her friends and circles if y…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 10:06 PM
6

Save yourself and forget about her and the marriage. You will need time to recover, but while you're going through this hell at least try to improve yourself every single day. Same advice you read here, gym, self improvement, maybe a better job, maybe a side business. Not sure if this is good advice but listen to some Andrew Tate content. At least he will make you work hard without sounding too depressive about it all.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 01:48 AM
2

I think you fix rejection by creating more options for yourself. Become best version of you (gym, looks, money, game) and you'll have more options than your previous self. Rejections are tough when you don't have many options. Once you do then it becomes a routine because you know you'll eventually land on something worthy. Same as jobs, or say you're the sales guy... There will be rejections and it's fine. Getting used to and then left alone part is tough I agree. I'm working on that as well. T…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 09:34 PM
1

Not sure if this is the right thread for this but it could be. There is a tendency for both, you and her, to prove to each other about being better and wanting the other to regret making these choices. It's not helpful. When you have these thoughts redirect them to you and only you. She is gone and you won't take her back. It's only about you now and your kids if you have any.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 07:13 PM
3

This was the biggest grief that divorce has caused me. It's theft. But I heard one thing which made me feel better: men after divorce get 10x the amount of money while women get 10x added to their notch count. I know age can sometimes be difficult but I think people that have made it before can do it again... It sucks that you have to give 50% away but just think of it as a loss and a lesson. At the end of the day maybe to some degree she helped you learn a skill which she does not have. At leas…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 03:14 AM
3

You dodged a bullet. Imagine having a kid with this person. Should be a cakewalk. I wouldn't even worry about what she says or does at this point. People know.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 12:25 AM
6

I don't know how you define single. But at some point you get tired of meeting random women, banging 3 times and telling them goodbye. It would be nice to know someone for longer and share some laughs and experiences, especially if you dig each other's vibe. Can't say it will happen but it would be nice. But... I think she needs to know that you know you're not getting screwed over again. If she does, then it's a lot easier, like.... You can openly discuss prenup with her without hurting her fee…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 08:23 PM
2

I haven't considered an open relationship but I have dated a "polyamorous" girl before. She'd keep a rotation of 4 or 5 and they would be Chad, the intellectual, adventurous guy, and the wealthy older high status guy. They all served a purpose for her. The problem is that most men want what Chad is getting. So unless you're Chad, yes it's very fun setup except you're working hard all week and maybe getting laid once a week if she's not tired that day. Meanwhile she's getting plowed every single …
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 10:11 PM
1

So if you want abundance with women you just need to have a lot of coke around. Perfect! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 09:54 PM
4

You do have a good point, you do have to let it go at some point and not assume the worst, for your sanity. At the same time though, being nice to each other could be a trap and usually it ends up worse for men because family law isn't always on our side. So... Better safe than sorry, protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 11:32 PM
6

All exes might not be cheating whores but they ALL have a tendency to monkey branch right after. And they know exactly who they will monkey branch to. It might not always work out, but they know... So, yes they're not all cheating but they might as well be cheaters so that you can wrap up the trash and take it out before it stinks. They'd be doing you a favor this way since you really don't want to be in the meat grinder forever, or what's worse go into pleading mode where you're trying to save …
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 11:14 PM
1

Congrats! 3rd month and you're already on the way to being better. Inspiring.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:58 PM
2

I dont want this to sound rude but why is "she" doing this? I'd much rather buy a book from a man than a woman, and thats primarily because I feel that a man, preferably one that has been through one, would be better at understanding and articulating the issues that men deal with. My 2c anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 02:21 AM
3

She threatened to report me for abuse. I never laid a finger on her. Things can get nasty really fast, and I thought it could never happen to me 😅
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 02:33 AM
1

Started vaping. Good news is I quit smoking but I vape a lot.i don't inhale in my lungs but even mouth nose airways you still get the nicotine dose. I don't think nicotine is that great actually... So I'd like to do this less.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 10:57 PM
2

Yes, eventually it becomes unbearable. Pulling the plug early is probably for the best honestly. The only reason why she's still around is because she is solidifying her future plans and usually she has an exact plan of who she's going to monkey branch to (possibly several prospects). Most likely she's been plotting this for a long time so this is no sudden thing. So... She might go as long as she can, technically you are working your *s off, paying everything, cooking and feeding kids, she is j…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 10:34 PM
3

It might be premature to assume this, but it is easily a precursor of an exit plan. It's exactly what happened to me. She gets lazy, shoves every responsibility your way, starts caring less, doesn't cook for kids. if she's even hinted anything about leaving then it's a wrap.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:18 AM
5

I started listening to red pill content and reading advice in this sub. I saw gym and lifting heavy stuff is the way to go. I never wanted to be a buffed guy, I thought looking lean and ripped is way better so I was in that mindset for a long time. Then I started going to the gym gaining mass on my upper body, getting rid of the gut with diet, worked on my arms, some shopping for new clothes, and I started seeing women noticing me on the street. Wow, amazing. As some of the guys say, if you look…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:28 PM
1

If you speak Spanish Colombia is nice, Medellin specifically. Spain, Barcelona. Thailand is good, and you don't have to get hoes to have a good time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 07:23 AM
1

I hope she doesn't regret it because removing her from my life is the best gift she's ever given me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 11:38 PM
1

I imagined all possible scenarios where I could tell her to f* off, pardon my language. A selfie from her could be one of those scenarios 😂. I've been pretty good at controlling myself though, which is probably a good idea. Ignore is the right move I think.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 08:12 PM
2

kids, betrayal, financial hit. Third one you can make it again but the first two you don't forget. A bit on finances, because honestly that's one of the reasons why I think women betray. It's theft. Imagine you have a spy in your circle who's observing your every move, see how hard you've worked, learnt your secrets, and at the worst moment they wipe everything. Naturally that will make you very angry.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 02:21 AM
2

Mine asked me "do you know where I was? I was in the hospital and you didn't care". Turns out she was taking antibiotics 😂. No offense but that face of hers is not getting near me again, ever.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 09:13 PM
2

I think all the things I learnt after the fact are useful, but an important one is to be aware how quickly a man can get discarded as if he never existed, did all those things, vacations, working hard to build a better life for the family, etc. Being aware of this part of female nature is crucial! You'd just consider choices a bit more carefully once you know.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 06:05 PM
2

This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 05:59 PM
2

I've heard people say don't date for a while, but personally going out there and meeting a bunch of women is one way to forget your ex. Other than kids I actually can do just fine without her and with someone else. Be sure to do the work though, you have to look good, lift weights and build your body, eat well, make money. You already know what you need to do it's just matter of not sitting idle but going 120%, also a good way to get your mind off things. Stick to this and you'll thank me later …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 12:26 AM
3

Very thankful as well. These guys were there at my worst time. I did not expect that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 09:21 PM
1

Not worth it. If you have to do it assume it's true.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 06:30 AM
3

This. Get off antidepressants and put all your energy into building you, building your body. Anything that's not this has got to go, anything non-productive, feelings about ex, what she's up to, what she did to you, etc, block it and redirect that energy to you. Listened to a lot podcast that got me angry and I find anger makes me better.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 06:57 PM
1

I might have consumed a lot of red pill content, which is maybe not healthy. I think her going out on weekends is that she is seeking attention elsewhere and not at home. Is she dressing up, looking good, smelling good, but it's not for you? Not going to say divorce her, but she's not doing this for you, and you are roommates and this bothers you 🤷‍♂️ One thing I do know is that it will be a lot more painful if you find out she's been sleeping around then pulling the plug right now. You've got n…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 06:38 PM
3

I've done online dating almost exclusively. On Friday or Saturday night I enjoy a drink at the bar. What are the other options? It would be great to expand this pool a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 12:48 AM
2

Lol this is nuts
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:18 PM
2

I wonder if there's a good book I can read about how to avoid throwing money on women. Better looking women want your money, it's a skill to navigate without having to throw all your hard work away on some bs. It's never coming back.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 11:34 PM
3

I think this does make a lot of sense, but it's missing one important point. Do you put all eggs in the same basket and then fortify that basket so that nothing ever happens to it? There needs to be some sort of insurance that if things go south the man can get out with his skin. And to do that, you can't accept oneitis , happy wife happy life, my soulmate kind of talk. Men are brought into this world to scatter seed, and if you don't embrace an abundance mindset and protect yourself you're in d…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 02:25 AM
5

Marriage is a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 05:50 PM
15

Gotta be a bit mean to keep them keen. I stopped putting women on pedestal, buy themexpensive dinners while I eat McDonald's and buy cheap coffee. No ma'am, that ain't happening anymore. Now I work for myself and if they are eyeing my money I let them dream about it 🙂. One of my friends told me something which might be immoral but some women need to hear it... He says "sometimes women just want to hear a nice story...".
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 12:06 AM
1

Thanks for this comment! It has crossed my mind, especially with those that need to be saved.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 08:11 PM
1

No way... She looks good though. It hurt to let her go 😂
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 08:25 PM
1

Hey thanks for this perspective. As I said, maybe I'm overreacting, and my experience has been that if I'm more chill about it it works in my favor. But... it could also lead to more heartache if you meet a highly promiscuous woman who learnt this game too well. I find the higher quality ones, especially, are definitely not sincere and clueless about what they're doing. All my perception though. Could be wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 09:01 AM
5

Good call. I thought the same. Wiped my slate clean... Feels liberating again as dating does suck a lot of your time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 08:52 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/b1YxJalOMo posted the rules below 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 01:33 AM
2

Yeah I have a 5 year old. It's partly why casual relationships are more convenient. Some women dont like single dad situation, some are ok but aren't prepared for it, like they think you're going to Hawaii together for a few weeks, and meeting every weekend kind of thing. A relationship might eventually work, but I do have to compensate a lot in other areas (I think anyway) if you want to get an attractive good woman. I'm 41 and dating is still solid. As rolo says, looks, money, game. It works, …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 01:29 AM
2

I totally hear you. I wouldn't mind having that in my life I'm not gonna lie.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 10:48 PM
4

Not proud of it, you might be right. I'd be happy to respect boundaries as long as I'm not treated like a doormat and a walking ATM that sleeps alone at night 😅
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 10:42 PM
12

Keep the surprise dates up I'm spending my bday in Europe and that won't change Keep this same pace of messaging and let it grow organically (we've been sending affectionate emojis and stuff to show we care) Here is my translation: 1. I like the dates, you send me to cool places, keep doing that, I'm a catch so don't be lazy 2. I'm probably meeting someone in Europe and that won't change, but I'll keep dating you 3. I wanna keep you around, no more no less, we'll let things heat up when I feel l…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 10:06 PM
1

Sometimes I might sound bitter. But as soon as she threatened to report me for abuse, I don't even look at her anymore. Will not lift a finger if it doesn't benefit me. I was never abusive to her. Someone threatens to throw you in jail, it's not to be taken lightly.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 11:09 PM
1

I just ignore anything that's not about the kid. Works like a charm
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 04:55 PM
3

I understand you. I've been through dry spells when nothing is working, but I've also been in wet spells when I have to choose and say no to options in front of me. I found that complaining is loser talk. It does NOT help you. You're working out, doing the work. Keep doing that and more! I was average, I thought gaining mass was stupid then found some different ideas, podcasts and started gaining mass, chest biceps, upper body. It changed everything! Last night I met an 8.5. She told me I have t…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 12:37 AM
1

There is no such movement as long as there isnt more awareness about this being a problem. This sub needs to grow, more marriages need to break down, people having less kids and population crisis, countries like China with their more traditional laws start to dominate, etc. When enough damage has been done then maybe someone will speak up about the unpopular topic that this feminist bs has got to stop.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 08:57 PM
8

I hear this a lot. My dad was in the hospital about to die and she had to go bang someone at that time. Some women are cold as ice in this kind os situation... It amazes me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 07:01 PM
0

Listen to Andrew Tate in the morning, some red pill content and just love the pain the gym brings. Once you start seeing results and feel comfortable taking your shirt off in front of people (women), maintaining that that body will be your main motivation.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 08:30 PM
3

No she can't. Get a lawyer and do not leave you home. Avoid confrobtations, be respectful and explain that you don't want to leave the house because of the kids until you have a written agreement. Don't drink at home, if she plays games record everything. I thought this was never going to be a problem for me and it almost did.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 03:50 AM
5

Everyone's situation is different, but I had a lot of resentment for the betrayal. Then there are times when I think that it really wasn't her fault. We both have contributed to things breaking down. So sure... Forgive her, let it go whatever you want sounds ok in theory if you want to be a true stoic. One problem with divorce though is that you're walking all over each other to grab what you can, and that makes her your worst enemy. If she can get some extra money from me she will NOT CARE if I…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 06:09 PM
2

Listen to rich cooper, rolo tomassi, george bruno can be fun to listen to. No more mr nice guy is a nice book. It has helped me personally, I just wish I found it sooner.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:05 PM
1

Like others are saying, be glad you didn't get a kid and she f** off somewhere with half your stuff while you're on the hook for alimony. I think red pill can help you. Height does matter, but so do other things. You need to be ripped, loaded, have a nice style and a good game. Use those to compensate for your height. There are lots of women who will like you if you've maxed out on disciplines you have control over. I'm okay looking, gym, got a different car, a decent apartment. Always been sort…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 06:13 AM
4

After hours of podcasts I think I know what the answer is. Relationships are still possible, can't be too bitter about all this. And while you can't trust any woman you do start to notice that some are purer than others. There are now some rules I have which should hopefully help me weed out what I don't want. - I do focus on me now, if they want they can follow me - I always stay in shape and workouts are vital to my well being. If she has an issue with it, bye - I don't waste money on women. S…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 04:11 AM
6

That friend is a piece of s**. Decent people dont do this to a friend. He's got no morals. Delete these people from your life. You will find a way to recover from it. It sucks to wake up one day and see reality for what it really is but there might be a silver lining to all this. Now you will know people better and will know who should be around you and who shouldn't. I know I do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 03:50 AM
4

When I go to the bar to get a drink, women have a laser focus on what I'm buying, how much I'm paying, how much I'm tipping, among other things of course. They are paying attention to their surroundings every single minute. You have to know that by now. Can't say I love that it's like this, but it's the way it is. I still like women, their beauty, sex, and I feel life is a lot more interesting with them. Just gotta be careful...
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 12:21 AM
10

My son was 4 when we separated. I collected tons of memories which I'll share with my son when he gets older. He knows and will know I'm way better than what he hears from mom. Hasn't happened yet but reading these stories is preparing me for the worst. Can't say much since you're way ahead of me but one thing I do know is that once the kids learn to reason they will know you were the best dad. Wishing you the best! Stay strong and fight for your kids!
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:46 AM
2

Gym, self-care, make money and get out there. These things alone can change your life. Not saying it solves all the problems but makes the sailing a lot smoother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 02:51 AM
2

It's hard not to be sad. I sometimes have dates where I know them for less than a month and I still feel sad when we part ways. They say when things hurt you do it more and it eventually stops hurting. Can't say that's solid advice but it might be a necessary solution so that you can start living life on your terms.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 12:46 AM
1

I totally get it. Divorce with kids is not a smooth ride... I was smoking a pack a day (not a smoker before), drinking every day to help with pain, meanwhile ex keeps trying to intentionally hurt me. But just know this, every rapid ends. The trauma makes you stronger and better, just need time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 07:36 PM
1

I see a lot of talk about her and how that's affecting you. Who cares about her? Ignore her completely, minimal contact, keep the chat about kids only. If she steps out of bounds, ignore it and focus on you and being a dad for your kids. And the same thing about how you're perceived by others. Learn not to care and do your things well. People start respecting you more when you start saying no, and you stop caring about things not worth caring for. Just to share a story that just happened to me t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 07:20 PM
5

Gets better. It's incredibly hard with young kids... But you've gotta find a way to redirect all the pain, anger, towards self improvement. gym, hard work. It will pay off! There are very successful people who went through this, so it can happen to anyone. Every rapid ends, but you gotta fight through it and you will come out much better and stronger. You've got this!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 03:10 AM
5

I had about 20 dates since separation. 90% of them were easily better looking than my ex. So regardless of how inadequate I might have been as a husband, turns out I had much better options :) I think another win is that I'm far more present now about choices in life. I really needed this to snap me back to reality so I can do what I'm meant to do, self care, do things that matter to me!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 01:00 AM
1

This. I completely ignore requests that I feel aren't my responsibility. It's business only and I run a pretty tight ship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 11:01 PM
6

The best way to diffuse any scary situation is to not say anything other than about kids. Grey rock. Send her a note on record that you are not a threat and just want to be there for your kid. This is what I did and I dodged those false accusations of abuse. Do not drink at home. If things escalate leave the house and come back later. Lawyer is a must.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 03:58 PM
2

Rolo says women dont like the man to cheat but they love a man who COULD cheat. And I would add that it's whether she believes that... If she does then yes you can be under the bridge with her and she'll still love you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 05:36 AM
2

Not sure which apps you are using but I met some decent people on them. I hit the gym hard, diet to get rid of that gut. Suddenly I get so many matches. Women look at me outside too. How you look does matter! I'm not a tall attractive dude but fitness lifts you up. I got a beamer and a decent apartment and dating is now easy, a routine, learning how to weed out bad ones. Spinning plates, can be exhausting and distracts me from my work, some of them go sideways, but this approach is serving me we…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 02:40 AM
2

Same here, who is this therapist? I've always heard that the value of men increases as they age: gym, start looking better, making money again, getting a younger chick. Market value for aging women is on decline, men mainly value their beauty not the careers or money they have.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 02:29 AM
2

Definitely yes. It's been a lot of casual dating for me so it works perfectly fine. I love my space, so much freedom, I can do whatever I want, decorate the way I want, watch whatever I want, loud music with bass, play video games if I want (not that I am a gamer but whatever). Gym and pool in the building, high floor and nice view, I finally am living the way I deserve considering that I work like a dog for my money. I'm still fairly new to this way of living though and I do find it lonely some…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 11:26 PM
1

Grey rock. Ignore her completely unless it's about kids. Business only. Send her a note that you can use as proof telling her that you are not a threat but that this is the your home and you need to be there for the kids. Record everything!!! And get an attorney. I'm not saying can't be bad where it's actually safer to leave the house but collecting this evidence is better than just leaving the house. She'll back down eventually, right now you're allowing her too much!
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:22 AM
1

Find a way to make money. Having the potential to make money if not making it right away gives you hope and can make things better. If it wasn't for money battles with ex my healing would have been so much easier.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:00 AM
2

Exactly. People still talking about love, they need to read this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 09:41 PM
3

Some dude I know has a burner phone, a fake name and a fake age that he gives out. I didn't quite understand this but I do now 😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:14 AM
2

Once threats of divorce start she's already checked out and is just waiting for the right moment. I wouldn't give her that, just get rid of her. This story sounds exactly like mine. She wants to grab some of that money and go spend it on vacations and there isn't a thing you can do about it. It's a good idea to get an attorney ASAP and be very prepared. You need to figure out ways to protect your assets. It can get veeeery ugly, don't give reasons for escalation. Sorry about this but just know t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 03:43 AM
4

Same situation. Went to gym, looking fit, got a different car, apartment on a high floor, living like a 25 year old. Travelled a bit and got some decent photos, so matching on dating apps became easier. Hooking up with women has also become easier. It's amazing how abundant women are once you put a bit of work on yourself, I didn't know this... Now I'm starting to pay attention to what they bring to the table. I'd rather pick a nice agreeable 7 then an 8 or 9 with attitude. Having too many dates…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 10:32 PM
7

Join some men clubs and start working on yourself. Trust me, everything will improve once you start doing this. Gym, work hard, and take self-improvement seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 06:44 PM
2

Can't say Im really desperate for a LTR. I've always liked women and sex so that'd be one and maybe the main reason. Im just exploring right now, trying not to hurt anyone. I'm starting to learn that there are women who are doing casual too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:51 PM
1

Thanks for this. Yes, hurting people does not make me feel good. I definitely have to find a way around that. Facing more rejection perhaps, ah what the heck I'm getting used to it 😅
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:24 AM
6

Decent feedback, I am in many ways broken 😅. Much appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:14 AM
3

Let the creme rise to the top. I just haven't found her yet maybe.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:09 AM
1

Hey thanks for this post. It's what my gut feel said all the way but hearing more helps.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 05:20 AM
-1

I did expect this. It was a risky post. I respect your opinion nonetheless
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 05:07 AM
2

This sounds like my ex. What a coincidence 😂
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 12:41 AM
1

Does your ex work? It's still feels painful to hand her out even that. I'm certain that my kid will not get to enjoy even half of that. I'm still working on this and its stressful until it's done. Good call on being prepared though
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 09:47 PM
2

I had 2 dates. Missed out on what the 1st one had apparently prepared for me. It can be fun but I'm starting to burn out. Dates, work, child care, every day looks like I had 4 coffees.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 04:13 AM
3

Depending on the age of your children, it can be an adjustment. Child care was a bit of a big deal for me, mine was 4, but it seems to be getting easier the older he gets. As far as dating, I met a lot of women. If you put in the work, look good, decent car, decent apartment, going to gym regularly to lift heavy stuff, making money, there is an abundance of women lining up to get your attention.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 10:21 PM
1

Yeah... At early phases the word amicable was being thrown around a lot. It did not happen. Amicable could work maybe if you have no kids.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 10:16 PM
2

Some say they've already gone through the grieving long ago whereas for men it's when she decides to be out. The other explanation is that women are just wired to be able to do that and it's for survival reasons. Read up on war brides and hypergamy. Wish I knew about these earlier because I would have approached relationships much differently. As uncomfortable as it is to hear it's how the world works.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:29 AM
5

I usually am against any type of friendship with ex. She who threatened to use law against me, betrayed, and literally did nothing for me in the last few years, can't possibly be a friend! But part of this stance also comes from the fact that I really don't want to be thinking about her life, who she's dating, who her friends are, how is she doing, stirring crap that adds no value to me. Having her around you shoves that in your face and some of them just love to do that. If you truly don't care…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:21 AM
5

I think these exes crave for attention, feel so good when can somehow share that they're doing so much better without you, getting flowers and being treated so well, unlike what we have done. It's as if they're trying to make a point that the reason why they were not happy was you not them. Cut that s*t. Block her everywhere, business only, don't tell her anything about you, keep her in the dark. The reality is that they are NOT doing much better, they just are delusional. I'm not saying it's im…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 06:56 PM
6

I don't know what value you get for being friends. She decided to leave. Kids are pretty perceptive and will see what's going on. You need to take care of yourself and live your life, be the best dad you can, and the best version of yourself. With my stbx it's strictly business and it works just fine, and my mind doesn't have to wander around, much happier this way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:19 AM
7

I'm still half way in the tunnel and I can already see how much better dating is. Before I would take anything that's available. Today I say no to majority of women, I get texts that they miss me. It's an interesting change thats for sure. But... You do need to work at it: looks, money and game. I've promised myself that I'm never letting myself get fat again. Life is so much better this way.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 06:51 AM
4

I am sure this happens from 20s to early 40s but I wouldn't believe it that women in their late 40s really need that new dick. Pretty messed up but hey.. good luck to these women. Wonder what theres on the table after menopause starts.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:10 PM
8

This comment summarizes hours of podcasts I've listened to. This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:43 PM
3

How can you blame anyone. Half the assets, child support, alimony, without doing any actual work. Only a dumb person wouldn't take that deal 🙂. As sad as it can be I am thankful to wake up in reality instead of continuing to live in fantasy world.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 08:21 PM
4

One thing men can do is sleep with as many women as they like. Women don't usually do this, a piece of their soul dies every time they switch. There is a way to play THAT game, but as far as family life yes it is a total bs here.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:39 PM
6

They always deny it. Slut shaming is a big deal for women so they will guard their secrets like their life depended on it. Some women don't cheat, many would... Why even bother asking, you know what you will hear is a lie. If I'm tempted to lie about it she's 100 times more likely to lie. It's pointless. If your gut feeling is telling you she is or was then trust it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:10 AM
2

I'd love to know how everything plays out because I could learn from it too. My lawyer said you can push for keeping some money in there as working capital. And also my work is not steady so it might be possible to use that when negotiating. Luckily in one of the recent years the business made no money otherwise the highest income year could be considered as my actual income for the business.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:40 PM
3

If your business is making a lot more but you're paying yourself 15k only that's not necessarily what they'll consider as your income. They will look at your business income too. Similar case for me, I wish they only look at what you pay yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:32 PM
6

Yes. It was pretty much my fault as well, in a lot of ways.. I'm not going to say that she's not a piece of work though :) I think resentment starts as she's walking out and you see each other's true colors. Woman you marry is not the one you divorce. So at this point whose fault it was becomes irrelevant. Now it's about trying to survive this journey, hopefully with my skin on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 01:43 AM
1

In today's world you have it all at the beginning, you get kids then.. no financial contribution, barely any cleaning or hire a cleaner, cooking only off on weekends and then you're eating donairs for dinner, sex is maybe once in a while. She knows she's got you because of the kids ;)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 10:20 PM
11

What I'm finding out is that men get wrong is that they believe that things like chores actually matter. I don't think so... First time she complained about chores and you said sorry she learnt that she can walk all over you and she quickly learnt to lose respect for you also. This is the problem, not the chores. If you stood up and told her to take a hike, because you don't need her in your house, yes it would be pretty ugly at first but you would draw a boundary that could potentially keep you…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 09:15 PM
1

After all this stuff I'd stay the hell away. Kids part is hard I know... It's the part that I'd continue fighting for.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:04 AM
5

8 months separated. She has agreed to 50/50 custody but keeps changing her position. We can't agree on payments, I feel it's all a money grab where she will try every tool to extract more money from me. She won't disclose her financials while I did. My suspicion is that she's been siphoning money out to her parents for over a year, otherwise I dont understand what the hold up is. Juggling between work and child care has been a nightmare but almost got a system. Being laid off for inadequate perf…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:32 AM
2

Work on a side business, believe it not that can also be fun. Being active, hikes, biking, golf, some skiing, dating, connecting with friends. I bought Xbox too with my fav game Diablo, but it's been sitting there unopened. I think it's fine to do video games but don't forget to level up your main character too... You! :)
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 06:34 PM
2

At some point I heard that doing this is a bad idea as judges don't like it. Obviously lawyer knows best, it's just what I heard..
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 06:38 AM
2

I kind of wonder how there is no way around this... I haven't seen this though yet but part of me says I'd rather to go jail than hand her 40% or my income. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 09:53 PM
18

I think doing all those things for her could be the mistake that men have made. Can't put the woman on pedestal and expect that it buys respect. Read a bit on maintaining frame.. I wish I read that sooner because I have done some of these things myself too. Being a yes man, yes yes yes...😅
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 09:37 PM
1

Affair partner.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 05:30 PM
1

Yeah. Her brothers were ignoring me 2 months before the fireworks started. One of her single divorced friends started asking me about how I didn't like that she gained weight; I just ignored her. Yep signs are there. She probably made me sound like a monster but she didn't do this all this time, but she chose to do it right when she met the AP. Funny how this works but hey I don't blame her. It's a bit of strategy on how she's gonna deal with life... 🤷‍♂️ She's not a bad person. I think she made…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 03:12 AM
4

Family time. Even though she was a crap partner even on those family occasions it helps when there is another parent with your kids around and helping entertain them. It's very unclear to me whether you can have that kind of family time with someone else if she's not biological mother, I would really hope so but I doubt it. The next closest thing would be my own family. Everything else can be fun and something to miss but it's not irreplaceable.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 11:37 PM
5

Get a lawyer ASAP and get rid of her. It's not easy, it's very hard, but it's simple what you need to do.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 07:32 PM
4

This advice is probably overused in this sub but I think it makes a huge difference. Eat healthy and work out like mad. This is much better than smoking, drinking, sitting around just to be sad. Try to redirect all that energy into improving your health. It will pay off in your recovery journey. Stay strong, gets better!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 06:36 PM
7

More often than not they're leaving because they're planning to do another dude. If you know that's what's happening why would you even want her back? This part I don't get... She'll threaten to take your kids, take half your stuff and more, report you for DV, do a bunch of dudes and I take her back? No thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 12:35 AM
4

Definitely no look at women with ill light. I like and will continue to like women. I also am fine with men being the earners who take care of the expenses. It's a good system when it works, until it doesn't. There should be a lesson in all this, and it's not about who to blame. It's more about how you protect your money (and probably kids money too) so it doesn't flow to some other dude. If we ran relationships like a business it would be pretty damn good relationship :)
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:16 PM
9

Stats say something like women make 20% but spend 80% of the total wealth that's created. Not sure how accurate that is but it makes sense to me. We already knew about it too, we just chose to ignore it, happy wife happy life you know. All that sex I could have had with that money... 😃 But hey, at least now you know!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 10:03 PM
3

Congrats! You've made it! That's the way it should be.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:12 PM
1

Exercise like your life depended on it. Not saying go get injured but I tried to redirect all anger and sadness towards exercise and it does wonders, especially once you start looking better. You need some wins to get you back on track and this might help with sleep too.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:30 AM
1

Isn't there where this post can get some sympathy?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 04:51 AM
2

I've been hearing that the best revenge is indifference and your success. Shift your focus to you whenever your mind starts wandering. Easier said than done but once you are aware of what you gotta do it's easier.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 06:37 PM
9

This sort of behavior was the reason why Im getting rid of her, and it hadn't reached this point. Get rid of her now. I don't understand where this sense of entitlement is coming from for these women! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 06:59 PM
2

Or they already have!
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 06:42 PM
3

I'm on the same boat. I think if you hit the gym religiously, look your best, mingling with women is surprisingly easy. I'm not saying be a romantic and start a relationship, but dating and meeting women makes me care less about the ex. In fact, just knowing what options I have in my reach makes me think that she wasn't worth it anyway. And by the way, sex with women is fantastic, now you're single so why not! It's frustrating when you have to work for it but it gets a lot easier the longer you …
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 03:03 AM
2

Dude your story is exactly like mine but without her own kid. Still living in the same home until we get some custody agreement. Doesn't seem like me moving out is her priority so this keeps dragging. Uncertainty takes a huge toll on my mental state, ups and downs. I don't even say hi or bye to her, strictly business. At this stage I'm prepared to go to court and burn everything if she's not reasonable with her demands (I kinda wish she knew this because it's not going to be pretty). Maybe I'm o…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:39 PM
4

Haha this! I'm already at that stage when I wouldn't take her back if she begged.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:37 PM
1

Just think about this. You dodged a bullet and didn't have kids. That changes everything because now you're stuck seeing her every week, probably paying her child support and maybe even spousal support while she flashes how she's happy banging the other loser dude. And she somehow loves this because of how vindictive she is and wants you to suffer. It's not pretty 😂 . Just accept it and be the best version of yourself. Stop dwelling over some chick, there are a billion of them, there is no the o…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 03:12 AM
10

Lack of respect. If there's no respect expect things to fail miserably. When someone outright disrespects you they could be in real trouble as no one likes to take that. But when a woman disrespects it's subtle and gradually gets worse. First you're kind of messy, splashing water around the sink, never paying attention to her, maybe some shaming occasionally, then days she cooked for you keep going down, you're not doing chores. Then finally she starts telling everyone that she's doing everythin…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 12:34 AM
6

So true, but could be worse... Imagine spending the rest of your life with this person.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 12:17 AM
2

You're playing the long game. You're miserable now but will come out way ahead if you do the work. Forget loneliness, touch, happiness, her. Go to gym, look good, make money, improve your life, one step at a time and every day! Good things will come to you if you stick to doing these things, I guarantee you. The only other option is to give up and accept defeat but thats not happening!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 06:59 PM
3

My ex would go to great lengths to try and hide that she's ever done anything on the side. Now that we're separated she tries to do everything possible to stick it to my face that she has moved on and is with someone. She loves the reputation, she's doing the right thing and whatever happened is my fault and other people have to buy this. People aren't stupid! So wish her the best... When we reconnect for kids graduation we will see where I am and where she will be!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 05:31 AM
5

This. A thief thinks that everyone else is a thief 😂
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 03:20 AM
9

I found that taking the red pill helps. Work out and look good, this will give you the option of dating multiple women simultaneously. The more women you meet the easier it gets to not get attached to one. This is kind of opposite of what some other comments are saying here, but Im finding it's serving me okay. I think one thing worth realizing is that getting over the ex will not necessarily change how you approach your next relationship. If you get too attached, it can be the same problem, wom…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 10:02 PM
7

Hasn't been 6 months since we separated. I don't talk to her, no hi, no happy birthday, no how are your parents. The only talk is about the kid, scheduling, which sometimes is a good way to just break the awkward silence. I don't want to hear what she has to say and don't want to see her face. Any non-kid related stuff is her asking for something that will fulfill her selfish needs. So no talk is the best. Even IM I started ignoring useless stuff she says to "let me know" about something. I thou…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 09:37 PM
1

Haha. I don't know if this comment can be taken seriously, but if it weren't for kids it would be a very decent option.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:58 AM
2

8 weeks old sounds rough, but when is it not rough really. My kid was 4, I worked my ass off, changed diapers, soothed him to bed and was an awesome dad. Kid situation is hard, but men go to war, get stabbed, get shot, work on an oil rig, do tough things. You got this man. It ain't pretty but I don't think things are supposed to be easy. Life throws you a curved ball and that's what makes you stronger.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 06:03 PM
2

Sounds like a catch! No way man, selfish people who ditch their families because of some epiphany phase should be dumped in a ditch where they belong. Sorry. Life can be cruel and these are the people who most deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:23 AM
6

No way dude. That's a really bad idea. But this is just my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:14 AM
1

All I can say is 7K a month alimony seems rough. I hope you'll get a better deal. Please update this thread on how it went, now I'm curious.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 06:13 PM
1

Get ready for a very difficult time ahead. Divorce with kids is tough and for me personally the uncertainty about custody and finances is a a nightmare. Anger about her running with you money while banging other dudes is one thing, and then there's the other pain of actually losing money, 100% access to kids. My advice is to skip the feelings, only time can fix the pain. Get ready to fight for what's yours, do not bend and never be "generous". She will not appreciate any favors and will want eve…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 10:11 PM
3

I've been curious about this as well. So, I'm pretty sure that she will never disclose to me that cohabitation is happening and I'd have to wait for my kid to grow up and tell me that. How do you find this out and how do you prove it? Will this involve a PI or how do you go about it?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 09:57 PM
1

Do not leave matrimonial home. Consult with lawyer immediately and do not give her a reason to kick you out or accuse you of DV. If things escalate record everything. Just be polite and respectful until you have an agreement in place then you can go wherever you want.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 04:54 AM
9

Be agreeable and nice, respect him, look good, and be available for sex. Men don't have a laundry list of requirements, just these. If you do these well you're golden.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 12:42 AM
12

Haha, yea no more of that nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 06:41 PM
14

I don't know much about changing her appearance but every passing day has made more selfish and disagreeable. It's painful to a point where I dont want to see her face anymore. It's sad because everyone I see around me is nice and cheerful but I'm stuck having to deal with this monster... Such is life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 02:45 AM
1

Personally I have found this sub to be a gem. Attorneys are definitely a must, but I think a lot of them just care about themselves and their paychecks. The first one I had just kept running the clock telling me things I wanted to hear and making ridiculous promises. Second one seems like a better choice but I have yet to see. These are the experiences that you only hear about here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 12:58 AM
2

Oh I can relate to this and I'm sure there are more stories similar to yours. I don't know what the details are exactly about this financial infidelity, but my ex had planned to screw me over long ago while I was paying for vacations. Now I'm working with a lawyer on what looks like trying to bring a thief to justice. What a world.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 04:58 PM
3

Congrats!!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 01:32 AM
1

Haha advice from ex. That has got to be a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 10:30 PM
4

I have no doubt that they could be fucking someone else or wanting it. It's pretty damn easy for a woman to just spread her legs and someone will show up to bang them. This doesn't mean they're able to keep whoever they're fucking. It's like me doing a 23 year old and hoping we will have a happy lasting relationship after all my baggage starts surfacing. But hey if doing a bunch of dudes is what makes her happy then best wishes to her. There's a name for that. At some point I had a conversation …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:57 PM
3

I had some episodes with my ex when I just couldn't finish and that was followed with not being able to maintain it. Turns out I just wasn't into my ex and wanted it to be over. After starting to date other women I took Viagra just to make sure that doesn't happen again. It actually worked wonders, not only with ED but it increased my sex drive, I wanted to have sex every night. I'm in my early 40s. Doc said you don't need it but I do like it as it enhances my experience quite a bit... Once I ge…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:34 PM
2

Ah marriage... Can't see how this ever gained traction. Sounds more like lawful r*pe to me. Sorry to hear it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 01:21 AM
8

You can look at it this way... Whatever plans she had with that guy she was thinking about probably didn't work out. So she's back to the dating pool. We find it very hard to accept how shes capable of moving on so quickly and is having a much better life, but the reality is that her life can't be that much better than yours (if you put in the work). It's probably much much worse. Just ignore and delete her from your mind, it's getting in the way of progress!
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 12:49 AM
9

Read a bit about hypergamy. She is spending time with the other guy because she thinks he is a better option. Let that sink in for a second. She "might" be wrong and wants to leave the option open to monkey branch back, which maybe makes sense in her mind. But why would you get her back knowing she's not considering you as her best option. Get rid of her and move on...
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 03:49 PM
10

It usually is an issue imo. But I'm sure there exceptions. Hypergamy is real. Cold hard truth unfortunately. That also means her options narrow down a lot of she's that career driven, and does t quite help her since most men don't care how much she's making. But yes they don't necessarily see that part, and they do pay attention to money part.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 12:42 AM
2

Sending positive vibes your way. It's a tough one. My first Xmas without family. But I'm flying to Colombia tonight. C'est la vie. Gotta keep looking forward, please do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 03:08 AM
10

Freedom
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 02:56 AM
1

I don't know what your relationship is like with her but I heard some pretty twisted stories. Is it possible that she's threatening to trap you to having custody so that you give into her demands? If she's making less money then financial damage on her would be pretty small. If she senses that this could put a lot of stress on you she could use that as leverage. I am sometimes paranoid, but if you both have attorneys then she's probably looking after her own best interest. If it wasn't self inte…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 04:07 AM
3

There is a lot of truth to this. Another thing that I found is very counterproductive is dwelling too much in misery. I've been in this sub for some time, I already went through the painful process of accepting it. Now I just got back from the gym, new haircut, making bank, motivated, I'm travelling for about 3 weeks with a single buddy of mine. Yes with a kid it can be tough but I'm a lot happier now, much happier than my miserable old self. So while I understand a lot of sadness that people he…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 10:45 PM
6

It reminds me of my situation. My dad was close to dying on ER and she chose them to start "going out" and mess around exactly at that time. I think what you need to do is be strong and know that things will get better for you. Believe me that all these feelings are part of the grieving process... I know for a fact that if it wasn't for the kid I could replace her in 24 hours with a younger, fitter, better looking and all around better girl. The fact that she destroyed the family does leave a ma…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 04:31 AM
2

Guts? I think she has hit the jackpot. In this situation if you have no prenups/postnops it's a ticking bomb basically 😅
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 06:35 PM
3

I'd still tap Sandy the hairdresser. We just won't get married this time! 😅
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 06:29 PM
2

This.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:46 PM
2

Sorry to hear it. This is a write off, get rid of her. There is no other way. Changing the way how I think about women has been a pretty hard process but I believe it will serve me better. Keep focusing on yourself, level up and improve yourself every day, look good, make money. Women are welcome to come and go, it's just the way it is... I would like to get someone get closer if they really want to but it will take a while before I can take them seriously. What are they offering? If it's not mu…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 03:17 AM
1

I had quite a bit of success with hinge. I dont know if you'll find the good ones there but there are plenty of reasonably attractive women there.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 12:31 AM
4

Why would you or your bud want to see her in the picture. It is delusional!
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 07:18 PM
2

No way. If things worked out with AP she would be gone for good. But they didn't... So why would you want that back in your life? She'll do it again
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 11:28 PM
5

Might get some therapy too, maybe even just get lost in a random sub and start trolling
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:56 AM
3

I'm not whining I'm just telling you the truth. But looking at your posts history I think you already know.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 10:31 AM
4

Oh I was stupid on purpose, but that's when I decided to get married 😅
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:36 AM
5

Im going to share my observation and you might agree or disagree. I think most men get blindsided when they hear 'im not happy' talk. By that point she's already 6 months in with a new prospect that she was planning to monkey branch to. Meanwhile, the guy is now scrambling how he can keep afloat, assets at risk, custody risk, adjust lifestyle with kids and caretaking, plus you gotta focus on leveling up and living a good life. It's pretty damn hard, and at this point she's got the upper hand. Bu…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 04:35 AM
2

Maybe not the best advice, but I think the idea is to keep doing that. You need to get past that emotional investment that most men subscribe to. Once you start understanding the true nature of women things start to get easier.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 03:00 AM
2

Talk to your lawyer and lawyer only. Grey rock her. Tell your lawyer about her refusal to pay for things. If she's the breadwinner then this would be financial abuse. Keep a record of everything. If law in your state permits, record her. You should collect anything you can at this point. If she just doesn't want to pay her share then you might have a chance to get that back later if you keep a record of everything. Again lawyer will help with this, but this is what I've done so far. If you're st…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 02:46 AM
0

During marriage? Well if she doesn't take care of herself it's kind of pointless for me to be ripped. Now, however, I can date whoever I want and don't have to feel bad about it. Naturally being fitter gives you better overall results so yes absolutely all guys should be hitting the gym, I think...
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 06:06 PM
2

DM me. This can be stressful but it does get better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 02:42 AM
8

It could be a trap, or maybe she's confused. I think women act on emotions and aren't always rational, but if she is then it'd be a risk. I'd avoid her completely, grey rock. Amicable sounds nice but she decided to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 09:46 PM
1

I'm not sure either :)
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 08:00 PM
1

9 month marriage lol. You must be joe blo the alpha male. I'd like to be where you're at. "...Is it a good thing? No, it's bad, bitch For good or worse, makes you switch"
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:17 AM
1

This comment really puts things in perspective. So true! 😅
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 06:03 AM
1

This is not legal advice but something I would do. talk to her about why she did this. Tell her than you need legal help and you need money for it and she blocked you from accessing it. See what she says. But most importantly, RECORD her. Record all the interactions if you can. This won't look good for her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 07:41 PM
3

If she's the breadwinner then you are entitled to child support and probably spousal support too. Borrow money, find it, you need an attorney. Believe she will take you seriously once you have one. Do not bend! It's difficult but you will get through this. In my position I make more than money than her and she's gone for everything she can because according to her that's what is fair and she feels entitled. Don't feel bad doing the same. If tables were turned she would be doing the same and more…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 07:26 PM
1

If that's something you'd consider I'd just be careful about who you pick. There are some good ones and some with really bad attitudes. As long as you're aware of that... Honestly sex with someone you meet in the app is a lot more enjoyable, but that's just me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:28 PM
1

I started seeing this girl, and was having sex every single night. I was a bit concerned about anxiety so I bought some blue pills just in case. I did some work with diet and gym so it always helps to have that confidence boost. She commented on my body a couple times so that's kind of nice. The problem I have is that these women want to lock the guy down and I am just not ready for another LTR. That's a tough nut to crack... Obviously they don't see me as a FWB type; that's something I haven't …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:10 PM
2

Thank you! That's good advice. All of it has been actually so thank you sub!
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 08:04 AM
1

She's basically doing the same. I was thinking of just leaving him the day before the weekend, but she might do the same right before my vacation. I'd love to have a set of dirty tricks to put some sense into this woman. Maybe court is the only way... I dont know 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 03:13 PM
1

You gotta be a bit mean to keep them keen. You're already fit and decent looking. Now all you have to do is get out there and play. Online dating, salsa dancing, bar, whatever floats your boat. You dont have to be an ahole to get attention. You just gotta show up.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 07:30 AM
3

I think Chriss Rock had this line... "...because you were never her first choice". Here's the thing, we might be aware now, a lot more present, more confident and getting some real results, maybe scoring with beautiful women, making it rain. But there is also all the baggage that you now have to deal with. Despite all that, facing this challenge is better than looking back. That's what I think anyway... You kill the dreams by doing. Get some positive results every single day. Makes you solid.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 02:57 AM
1

Hey there are women in this sub. Welcome :)
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:50 PM
4

You have no kids. You dodged a bullet. We're all learning lessons but for some it's cheaper. Take care of yourself only, lift heavy stuff, learn a skill, make money. Things will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 06:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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