Why do they never level up?

AzrykAzure · 2025-05-22T13:32:02+00:00

From your description one person took ownership and one was the victim. Easy to see which one will level up.

MoxieRoxxie · 2025-05-21T03:56:39+00:00

Hello, my name is Roxxie. Allow me to present to you the woman who has leveled up. Ive actually got it documented as I went along. But I didn't come here to toot about me 😂😂

I think when it comes to disconnecting from another human and you have children, the women has all her focus on the kids bc, usually by default, she gets them. No bigs, she probably wants it that way. Im not saying thats a problem. Only a defense to consider for her. But with less time, comes less opportunity to spend time taking care of herself. Other things are, like during your marriage, are more important. She hasnt yet found the solution.

And for what its worth, I think its really great you found spirituality and feel good about yourself again. Because it does take a lot of work to do that 🔥

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-05-20T23:03:03+00:00

Women are not wired to level up. They are wired to attract a male who has leveled up to the point of being able to provide safety. Big difference in survival strategies between the two sexes.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2025-05-20T18:35:34+00:00

Good for you. I did the same as you, but I have no idea how my ex wife is doing. I haven't seen her in two years. DDay was maybe 2.5 years ago.

woahbrad35 · 2025-05-20T12:15:41+00:00

My ex wife has started yet another joke of a business. She starts a new one every year or so that all fail because she's lazy with them. She makes daily tiktoks, sometimes 3 or 4 a day, about whatever social justice thing she thinks will get her attention, but even after 4 years, that hasn't grown much either. She blamed me for everything, called me financially abusive when she's lazy, blows money like its water, gambles, who knows what else. It's not even just her though. All my long term partners have ended up pretty much the same. Still blaming other people, still sitting in the revolving doors of the dating apps. It's not even just some of them, it's all of them. They look haggard, many are fat fat, it's like rot that was hidden when I knew them, finally made it to the surface and stayed there.

Ihavehadeveryjob · 2025-05-20T05:07:47+00:00

“Blaming others makes you feel better, blaming yourself, helps you get better.” The biggest thing is responsible accountability. My ex wife was very adamant about everything being my fault all the time but the moment I heard that quote, it put a lot into perspective for me. Most people would rather be unhappy, out of shape and angry than be wrong.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-05-20T03:36:41+00:00

Same with my best bud - she cheated on him with her BJJ coach - blamed my friend, filed for divorce, alienated their son and now looks like shit, totally fell apart. And yeah, still blaming him.

Content-Class1259 · 2025-05-19T23:12:28+00:00

Most women I’ve met since my divorce are also divorced, and generally train wrecks. Drink too much, lie too much, and just look like trouble walking.

InfamousAd2011 · 2025-05-19T19:27:04+00:00

Because life is different for men and women. As men we've been eating shit since being kids. For women they get praised for existing and doing the bare minimum while everyone cheers them on. Why would they change or improve when being exactly who they are hasn't caused consequences. Even if they're actions do cause consequences they can just move on to another man up until there looks fade.

probebeta · 2025-05-19T19:25:15+00:00

Some do, or at least some divorced women I've met on dates. But overall I think most are delusional and have not learnt their lesson. There is way too much validation and attention from thirsty men out there. Somehow that's supposed to mean they can be entitled and not care, but sadly that's not true.

CrazySanta7 · 2025-05-19T18:17:31+00:00

Because most women don't have to 'level up'. They throw on a tight outfit, nails, make-up and post it online. Boom! Thirsty dudes are trying to F%#$. Even 4's get attention. It does not work like that for men.....unfortunately.

rightwist · 2025-05-19T17:51:56+00:00

Bc our culture gives a pretty woman a lot of entitlement and shelter from significant consequences in some categories.

If she's never FO, why wouldn't she keeping FA? Wouldn't you do the same if all you had to do was bat your eyes, smile, cry, show some cleavage, etc at the appropriate time?

2025-05-19T17:07:46+00:00

Women can get sex even if they’re fat and ugly. They see no need to better themselves until it’s too late.

streetsmartwallaby · 2025-05-19T17:06:44+00:00

Selection bias.

No divorced male is going to come here and say

"Since the divorce I've let myself slide - gained weight and the house is a mess. I let my kids do whatever they want and never discipline them; they cuss and yell at me. Don't want to spend time with me. Meanwhile my life has lost 100 pounds and looks like [insert actor / super model / singer]; she's dating hot looking guys, driving a [luxury car] and living her best life."

If you want to see those posts you probably need to go to r/divorced or r/divorced_women

IronOxid3 · 2025-05-19T16:37:07+00:00

I went back into her house after 6 months. The smell is awful. My son doesn't respect her. She can't make them do much of anything. Yet she calls me and bitches at me like it's somehow my fault. 6 months of the gym and side jobs and my future is getting better.

xjeeperx · 2025-05-19T16:25:26+00:00

Same story for me. Stuck in the victim mentality is all I can say.

Reflog1791 · 2025-05-19T16:02:58+00:00

Since we get stung immediately we are forced to make changes. They get a wad of cash that they don’t know how to manage and it’s a slow drip to misery.

bcsam · 2025-05-19T15:43:18+00:00

Lack of accountability which is unfortunatelymore common in women than men

playdem · 2025-05-19T15:43:10+00:00

Reconciliation is so important. But they never do.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2025-05-19T15:36:56+00:00

Well, a lot of women do "level up" post divorce. That said......

Women spend a lot of time convincing each other that they weren't at fault in their divorces. They were never the problem......it was all you. They tell her that ANY guy would be lucky to have her, and the guys just trying to get laid confirm it for her, at least temporarily . And if you think that way, then you see no reason to change yourself.

pmbrenner91 · 2025-05-19T15:36:33+00:00

i'm here for the comments of all the fellas who are in the same shoes

myself included

Thebadmamajama · 2025-05-19T15:34:38+00:00

there's an archetype, which to me is just the "mean girl" or bully who got older.

we got love bombed into marrying them. then discovered they are a bottomless pit of needs and conflict.

in all this, there's no accountability.

they've been told there's nothing wrong with them, and they are already great. they have to maintain that facade for their social circle.

we don't get that pressure. so we are more free to become the best version of ourselves (or free to spiral down, that's a choice).

JustSomeDude7287 · 2025-05-19T15:34:11+00:00

Could it be how we are raised different?

Men are taught you have to be tough like warriors. We’ll have to face ourselves inevitably and change.

Women are taught to find a man for protection and provided for. So they never see anything wrong with themselves it’s always the men. They don’t really know what independent means but throws it around like “boss babe”

My ex refuses to change too, but blames men for everything wrong in her life, and yet continues to chase after them.

Title	Why do they never level up?
Author	DudeforRighteousness
Upvotes	103
Comments	60
Date	May 19, 2025 3:28 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kqeky8/why_do_they_never_level_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-do-they-never-level-up.1552591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552591

Comments