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guy_n_cognito_tu Archive

View 7 posts and 908 comments by guy_n_cognito_tu on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You can't keep another parent from posting pictures of themselves and their child on the internet, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 12:51 PM
3

Find the counselor and pay for it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 12:36 PM
1

Stereotypes exist because they're largely true. Funny that you not only hide your post history, but you delete most of your own posts. What are you trying to hide?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 06:33 PM
2

Its fine. Especially when they're in school or activities......you're still seeing them even when it's not your week.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 06:04 PM
4

7/7. You have a week, then she has a week. Better for the kids, better for you, easier for everyone else involved.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 05:50 PM
5

I'm going to say something that I hope, in time, will make a lot of sense: That woman did a number on you if she led you to believe that you are the sole cause of every problem in the marriage. Modern women are sold a bill of goods, primarily by TikTok and other social media. They are led to believe that: They're a "10" They deserve better. They aren't accountable for anything bad that happens in their life. That men should cater to their every whim, anticipate their needs and exceed their expec…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 04:19 PM
5

Just steel your nerves, because it's very common for women in this position to try to reconcile. Usually, it happens for one of two reasons The boyfriend bails when he realizes that she's expecting more than just casual sex, She realizes the financial and logistical support she's giving up by leaving you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 04:06 PM
8

There's nothing to move forward with, friend. She's moved on, clearly encouraged by her friends.....and probably her female family members as well. Sounds like she went after an old boyfriend, which after 17 years is just pitiful. You need to divorce this woman. Please don't spend any more time consternating over trying to fix this. IF she does come back, it will only be to continue to use you while she seeks out her next relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:58 PM
1

After years of discussions, the only time she agrees to stop is when you file for divorce. That's.......convenient. I can tell you from experience with an addict: she doesn't mean it. She's not going to stop if you go back. She's only offering to stop now because you're threatening to take away her comfortable life, and she doesn't want that. Once you come back, the behavior will creep back in. She doesn't see anything wrong with what she's doing......likely bolstered by the gross misunderstandi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 01:50 PM
3

Send it to your attorney, and have them forward it to her. If she won't sign, the courts can sign it on her behalf. Document ALL of your efforts, and you can guarantee she'll lie about hearing from you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 01:52 PM
2

GenZ is moving FAR AWAY from "traditional roles", friend. Birthrates are plummeting in first world countries, traditional roles have been completely abandoned in many cultures. Monogamy is on a decline and the "nuclear family" is a joke. You're advocating for a lifestyle that is being phased out, day by day. Generational living simply doesn't exist outside of financial necessity. You seem to be advocating for some sort of plural wife situation, and that simply isn't happening. ETA: oh, I see. Yo…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 06:43 PM
8

Women initiate more divorces for a variety of reasons: They benefit the most from divorce. Most states still see women as "victims" of divorce and still favor them, even if the gendered language is removed. Women are more susceptible to the pressures of social media, like TikTok. Women, even married ones, get a lot of interest from men, leading them to believe more and more that they can "do better". Women are more inclined to create problems where none exists. Ask any man who got in trouble wit…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 06:26 PM
20

I've said this many times, and I'll keep saying it until men start listening: The concept of the SAHM is dead. Women killed it. It's one of the few places that I agree with people like the ones quotes in that fluff-piece of an article. Despite the fact that divorce has become easier and faster, the laws around divorce still GREATLY favor the woman. In their bones, these laws assume that the woman is the victim of a divorce, despite the fact that women are initiating ing the VAST majority of them…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 06:16 PM
6

I want to make sure I understand this: she tried to ruin your life, and now she's turned you into a 4 day a month dad with a child living two hours away, and you're asking if you can trust her to drop the attorneys and trust her?
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 02:22 PM
0

Those are the outliers, sweetheart. I’m no lawyer, just a guy that didn’t give up and doesn’t lie about how much I lost to convince other men to give up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 02:15 AM
1

Men that don't fight always lose, sweetheart. But hey, at least you traded your kids for upvotes on reddit! Congrats.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:11 AM
2

The friends got to her. Guaranteed she's shown the settlement to every woman she knows, and they're telling her that "she can do better."
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:49 PM
3

Yeah, no it's not. Settlement discussions outside of a court setting aren't admissible in court, and there is zero impact to her for pulling this stunt.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:48 PM
9

Most of us have been through it. And the algorithms on TikTok and Insta will encourage it. Women (and a lot of men) will come out of the woodwork, praising her for being so "brave". My ex's social media makes her look like a single mother with an abusive ex, despite the fact that I have 50% custody and never laid a finger on her. The craziest phenemom is the "new friends" and family that seem to be drawn to the divorce. It's like they couldn't give two fucks about your wife until she tried to di…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:44 PM
8

I mean......if you lack to self control to stay composed, even in front of the police, then all you can do is learn from your mistakes. I hope you have an attorney, because you're going to need one. Time to stop focusing on getting her back, and start focusing on the changes you can make to stay active in your children's lives.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:18 PM
3

Looking at your post history......you just post this same shit over and over and over. Encourage men to walk away from their kids, homes and assets all in the name of ease and convenience. Some of us are actually here trying to help our fellow men. You're encouraging them to quit. Had I followed this terrible advice, I wouldn't have 50% custody of my children, and they would be raised by a woman who can barely take care of herself. You may wish that on you kids, son, but most of us want better t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:13 PM
2

You'd be surprised how fucked up that profession really is.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 12:47 PM
4

I won't touch the "neurodivergent" diagnosis, as I tend to believe the growing body of research that shows it is grossly over-diagnosed. That said, I can tell you this: once a woman engages in individual therapy, and she and the therapist decide that divorce is the best course of action, your marriage is over. Not all therapists are good therapists, and I'd be willing to bet they spend more time "diagnosing" your issues than they do talking about hers. I'd start looking to make a safe, equitable…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 12:37 PM
5

Brand new profile. One and only post. Yeah, something tells me this is someone fishing for social media content.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 12:23 PM
11

Isn't it funny that marriage is a "lifetime contract", yet a woman can violate that contract and still demand that the husband honor his end? It's a rhetorical question.....
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:31 PM
1

I'm curious, have you actually talked to an attorney about this? I'm not sure it's going to be the "driver's seat" you think it is.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:54 PM
1

This is.....completely untrue. Most states that don't recognize common law have NEVER recognized it, and nothing changed because of gay marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:54 PM
1

Then it's up to the two of you to arrive at a reasonable compromise.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:26 PM
2

Hard to say without seeing the exact language. Generally, a clause that says you get the children from the 1st to the 30th would mean that they are with you starting on the 1st and returned to the other parent on the 30th.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:12 PM
3

Are you typing on your phone? If you are, please be aware that you do not have to hit the "return" button when you get to the end of the space. The text will automatically wrap to the next line, and make your post look less like a poem.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:00 PM
1

"Sexual compatibility" is definitely A reason for divorce, but I'd be skeptical of any attorney that thinks it's the reason for MOST divorces. Chances of reunion aren't zero, but near zero. Physical attraction is always important, but I think it becomes less important once you get older and realize how important mental compatibility is. Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 01:32 PM
4

Oh lord. Where are you from and what made you determine that virginity is the only determining status for the success of a marriage? Bluntly, if that's the only thing you're worried about, then you're likely the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 12:19 PM
1

Of course a professor would claim that the A's become professors. It's completely untrue, of course......who's going to pass up $800 an hour to teach classes for $75k a year?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:56 PM
2

Jesus, that sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:02 PM
12

Let's be clear: divorce attorneys are the D students of the attorney world. Some are good, many are terrible. It's not like TV.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 02:02 PM
21

Never in a million years. I believe the concept of a SAHM has failed, as most women have now bastardized it into a concept where they have all of the freedom, but none of the responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 01:00 PM
21

The smart ones cheat with doctors. The dumb ones cheat with police and firemen.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 12:49 PM
12

My ex was a SAHM, and this fact accelerated the divorce because she fully believed that she was fully entitled to a lifetime of support, married or divorced. She's now an addiction counselor at a women's prison.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 12:49 PM
11

Bear in mind that a LOT of women start the negotiations like this: they want to move away. Zero custody for the man and a few weekends a year in visitation........but a whole buttload of alimony and child support. It's very unlikely she get this, or anything near it. You need to get an attorney, file for divorce immediately, and refuse any attempts she makes to take your child to another state.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:58 PM
5

I mean, I came from a marriage where my SAHM of a wife did virtually nothing, so it really wasn’t a change for me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 10:11 AM
3

Remember, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. She's not interested in being friends with your sister.......she's interested in making your sister like you less.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 03:39 PM
7

I'm sure it has a name, but I always called "ally building". Women don't want to just get divorced, they want to "win". The way they "win" is by convincing everyone in their circle (and yours) that they were the "victim" of the marriage. She's reaching out to your sister so that she can subtly tell her "truth", in hopes that your sister will turn against you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 03:31 PM
3

Ma’am, grow up. Are you really spending your days on Reddit stalking men’s subs, just waiting for an opportunity to tell us how much you hate us. Go do that on TikTok.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 01:27 PM
10

Agreed......with one caveat. Not everything is about sex. If you have a great relationship otherwise and truly value each other's company, then I'd vote for the wife. But if, like many men, their marriage is miserable and the guy is constantly walking on eggshells all in the hopes of having his ding-dong played with once a month, then you're correct.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 04:26 PM
3

I mean......that's the reality for a lot of people. Especially since a lot of women are absolute torture to travel with. My ex was a demon anytime we traveled, and it simply wasn't worth doing just to have mediocre hotel sex.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 04:08 PM
11

See? There's one of those "many men" I mentioned.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 12:58 PM
63

I'm going to say something that many men get angry about: most married men are paying for sex, even if they aren't seeing a prostitute. The guy that loses his job, and suddenly finds that his wife's libido instantly dried up. The guy that tiptoes around his wife all day, trying to maintain her perfect mood, all in the hope that she will give him his monthly unenthusiastic blow job. The guy spending thousands on a Hallmark-holiday like Mother's Day, hoping he does enough this year so that his wif…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 12:37 PM
5

That happened to a neighbor of mine!!! His wife sat him down one day and told him that her new "boundary" was that she was "poly", and that she needed to have a boyfriend or two in order to make herself "whole". He managed to get ahold of her phone, and found that her TikTok algorithm was mostly poly and "husband bad" content. They're divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 04:46 PM
9

Without speaking to specific influencers, I can wholeheartedly agree that social media has had a huge negative influence on marriage and relationship. From the cheating caused by reconnecting with old flames on Facebook (if you're old enough, you'll remember this from a decade ago), to TikTok and its toxic algorithm......it has all contributed to certain people putting more effort into seeking affirmation for their own beliefs rather than spending any time working on their marital issues.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 04:33 PM
14

Something I've learned over the years: when women sense that there is something wrong in a marriage, they don't really try to fix it. Instead, they go looking for validation that their feelings are correct from anyone and everyone........other than their husband. They will spend weeks, months, or even years getting their validation and affirmation. By the time they've gotten the affirmations they wanted, they've convinced themselves that the problem is overwhelming and cannot be fixed. And they'…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:42 PM
4

It can feel overwhelming, but I can promise you that things like this are common tactics used by a LOT of women in divorce. It will pass, and you will make it through. Here's a few things to consider: You need an attorney, especially if she's claiming theft. Your attorney should be talking to hers, and to the police if they're involved. You're damn lucky she had a miscarriage. I know that sounds ruthless, but a woman like this would have wielded that child like a weapon. You need to cut all cont…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:34 PM
4

Oh, here's the lessons: Have an opinion of yourself that does not need validation from women. If a woman likes who you are, cool! If not, she is dismissed. The woman you describe sounds like she is perpetually online and heavily influenced by social media. A yacht? Who says that?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:19 PM
13

A tale as old as time, and as common as oxygen. When my ex and I first got married, she told me that she desperately wanted to be a SAHM. I went through the process of showing her our financials, and confirmed my ability to support us. I pointed out that her salary would have largely been eaten up with daycare anyway, so it wasn't much of an impact. More importantly, I expressed to her that it was HER decision, and I would support her no matter what she chose to do. I was smart enough to put thi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:10 PM
9

I think we need to thank the Hallmark Corporation for turning Mother's Day into the "day of demands" it has become today. It's no longer just a day to show our respect for mothers.......it's a competition. A few homemade cards and lunch after church has turned into elaborate breakfast in bed, a day of servitude, and elaborate gifts. The super entitled one want an entire WEEKEND of special treatment and gifts that would put the average man into debt. Social media has fueled these expectations, an…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:16 PM
10

I'm sorry man, this is just what modern marriage is like now. Vows aren't forever, they're just until something better comes along. There is no reason to maintain a relationship with her beyond the business relationship of raising children.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 12:52 PM
1

Honestly, I tell most men that are divorcing that they need to look into the legality of recording every interaction with their wives, because this is a real risk. It's their word vs ours, and there are too many attorneys, moms and nasty friends out there suggesting this tactic.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 11:51 AM
2

One caveat to that, though..........he's still living with his wife. Leaving out that key detail WILL cause a problem with the new woman when it comes out later. IMHO, you HAVE to tell them that if you insist on dating this soon.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:29 PM
3

I think you're misinterpreting what you're being told, my man. Any woman interested in dating you is going to have massive problem the second you tell her you're still living with your wife. They're going to wonder if you're lying about your divorce. They'll (correctly) wonder if you're in the right headspace to date, or if you're just racing to get laid. Most importantly, if you race to date now, you'll make another mistake. It's ok to spend a few months alone and get yourself sorted before you…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:23 PM
4

Ah, so you are dating. That's why it matters to you. You're in a rush to date. But hey, let's turn it around for a second. Let's say you start talking to a woman. This woman tells you "I've been separated since December." But then......she tells you she's still living with her husband. Do you really believe they're "Separated"? Or do you immediately question what's really going on? Are you really going to jump on the opportunity to date a married woman, or take the risk that she's lying to you? …
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 03:14 PM
4

Ask yourself why it matters........honestly, why does it really matter, unless you're already tying to date, when you "separated" from the wife you're still living with?
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 02:56 PM
10

So, this is a tactic women use in divorce, and it absolutely can fuck with your head. If they tell everyone, including you, that they're "scared" of you, then it makes them look like a victim and makes you look like a monster. You can't let yourself be hurt by this basic bitch move. My ex wife was a violent alcoholic. Over our short marriage, she broke about $10k worth of my stuff and regularly put out infant son on danger. One night, while shit-faced drunk and butt-naked, she grabs our infant s…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 02:07 PM
6

Expecting a woman to be accountable for her actions is like expecting to wake up to a green sunrise. Glad you're moving on!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 12:49 PM
1

You should have talked to an attorney the first time. If you have ANY chance of getting it modified now, you'll have to get an attorney THIS time. Why would you make the same mistake twice. I'd speculate it will be near impossible to get this changed now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 04:12 PM
6

Oh lord........ You're telling us you're too smart for therapy in the same thread that you're telling us you want to fight your ex's new boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:17 PM
7

Hence my suggestion for therapy. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:03 PM
7

Your story keeps evolving. And it doesn't matter, trying to fight your ex's boyfriend is for children, not grown adults.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 12:59 PM
11

Wait, let's make sure I'm reading this right: YOu're divorced. Your wife, who's a single woman, is dating someone. You discovered this, and now you're wanting to fight the guy who did nothing more that date a single woman that used to be with you? Respectfully, how old are you? This reeks of something a middle-school child would do, not a grown man. Why would this guy meet with you? Why would he risk going to jail over your misplaced assumptions of honor? Get therapy, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 12:13 PM
1

My ex wife has a degree in Musical Theater. When I met her, almost 20 years out of college, she was working as a secretary making $50k a year. She struggled to get into community theater........ Tell your daughter no.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 03:59 PM
8

It's a common tactic used in custody cases, so it's in your best interest to plan for it to come up. Talk to your lawyer about how to handle, and don't agree to it without a direct order from the court. Just FYI, downing a six pack a night with 3 little kids at home is a problem. Assuming you get custody, you'll need to be sober to keep up with them alone.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 12:06 PM
2

The only fatal flaw I see in your plan.....and it's a big one.....it's that you're assuming that the courts are reasonable and logical and that they will take the time to hear all your evidence. They might.......they might not. They might take everything she tells them at face value. Many courts still operate under the assumption that the mother is the superior parent. If you don't have a lawyer, get one. This is not a battle you can fight alone, especially if she has family willing to lie in co…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:13 PM
14

Wait….you’re overly involved in your brother’s divorce, so you came to a group of divorced men to ask for advice on how to con your brother into staying married???
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 09:50 AM
4

Your ex wife tells you she's pregnant with another man's child. Friend, there's no further action needed. This is not your problem, there is nothing you need to do, and I can promise you that, if it was your kid, she'd tell you because she's going to want child support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:11 PM
5

One thing I've learned: don't try to understand their logic. One day she'll be sociable to you on a drop-off, the next she'll be in court telling lies about DV in the hopes of you never seeing your child again. My approach was (and is) to be "even-keeled". When she's being mean, I am neutral. When she is being nice, I am neutral. I show her no emotion. Our relationship is business only......the business of raising a child. The one lesson I learned is that she cannot be trusted.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 04:04 PM
3

Unfortunately, once you've taken the bait it's hard to backtrack from that. I'm hoping there's no kids involved. I gotta ask, why go the "contested" route? Sounds like money is an issue, and a contested divorce will easily cost you 5x what a no-fault would cost.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:04 PM
4

That is......completely untrue. I know it's untrue because I've done it. You can't control it long-term, but you can ask the courts to intervene during the divorce process when the introduction of a lover is likely to cause the children stress. It's actually part of the stock language in some divorce petitions in certain states.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:39 PM
6

2 weeks in and she's wanting to introduce your kids to her AP? Amazing. Contact your attorney. Have him write a letter to her / her attorney letting her know that you think that introducing your children to her fuck buddy now will be detrimental to them, and that you intend to pursue remedies in court if she doesn't stop.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:06 PM
13

My man, trying to get with your ex wife is like eating out of the trash. You threw it away for a reason, and now it's covered with other shit that you don't want to put in your mouth. Your ex is using you.......and very likely intentionally fucking with you. Stop letting her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 12:22 PM
2

My man, I've been there, done that. Exact same bullshit. When you start talking to other men, you realize how common it is. Guaranteed her brother and father are coaching her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 08:46 PM
2

The fact that she didn't have you arrested is because she had hit you, and she knew that would come out if the cops came. The standard of proof for a TPO is SOOOOOO low, that's why she went for it. Give ALL of that information to your lawyer, and consider the tact that she was trapping you in the home and physically abusing you, and the only way you could stop it was to push past her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 08:42 PM
3

You're getting an attorney, right? You know she planned all this, and you know that her father and brother have likely been coaching her. YOU CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY. Don't talk to her. Don't drive by the house. Don't contact the kids or go by their school. Don't send an email. Don't do ANYHTING that might even remotely violate that order. Your only hope at this point is to stay 100% clean. But be prepared, she will push to turn this into a permanent order. Did she have you trapped in…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 08:18 PM
5

Unless there's kids, there's no reason why you can't go to your other home in Ohio.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:46 PM
10

Go find the video of multimillionaire comedian Chris Rock, telling the story of how his divorce judge made him prove that he had a bed for his children. He has multiple homes and millions of dollars, but a judge made him prove that he bought his child a bed to prove he could care for them. Oh, I found it: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DVTkuWwjrjV/
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:53 PM
6

Sooooo many of us make that mistake. Wives love to run off friends and end hobbies.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 06:19 PM
13

I've said this before and I'm going to keep saying it to men: Modern marriage is fleeting. That woman that adores you today may hate you tomorrow, and she'll likely take off before she's even given you a chance to understand what the problem is. Men need to STOP DEFINING THEMSELVES BY THEIR MARRIAGES. Your identity should not be tied, in any way, to the marriage that could easily end tomorrow. Maintain your own friends. Keep your hobbies. Foster an identity that doesn't depend on being married.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 03:37 PM
1

She’s desperately clinging to a fantasy. You’re needlessly torturing a woman you don’t want to be with. You both need massive amounts of therapy and a quick divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 09:18 AM
1

Just FYI.......the most anti-father judge in my county was an "old white guy". In his mind, men should work and women should raise children. He bankrupted more fathers than any other judge, and even defied state guidelines for custody in order to maintain his beliefs on families.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:56 PM
2

Let's not bury the lead: you cheated on your wife. Tell her that, then ask for a divorce. The gender of the person you cheated on her with simply doesn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:36 PM
8

In my ex's case, it was a lifetime of never being held accountable for her actions. She was a rich kid growing up. Get in trouble in school? Daddy puts you in a new private school! Can't get into the acting major you wanted? Daddy makes a contribution. Want to move to New York to pursue a career in music, but don't want to live badly? Daddy will rent you an apartment near Penn Station, and pay all your bills until you're 30. And they'd do it all for her, despite her treating them like horse shit…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:30 PM
8

Oh, you're not wrong. At one point, I reminded her that I couldn't pay alimony and child support if I was unemployed. This was during a phase where she was having her friends send emails to the CEO of my 17,000 person company. She looked at me stunned.......she had honestly never put the two together, and assumed she'd get money from me after she got me fired.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:24 PM
22

Fun story: when I told my ex I was done with her BS, she went nuclear. Tried to get me arrested multiple times. Made false claims. Tried to get me fired. Tried to alienate me from every friend and family member I had. Successfully got a Temporary protection order that had me banned from my home for 6 weeks and kept my children away from my children. Spent over $30K on a vacation to the Hamptons. I was the one to file, while she was on vacation, trying to get my children back and get her out of m…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 05:23 PM
3

There's no real "why" with most women. In this case, it sounds like her parents already didn't like you, and were looking for ANY crack in the relationship to snatch her up and bring her home. They probably never assumed you'd get custody beyond a couple of weekends a month.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 12:55 PM
7

Acknowledge that you've made a massive mistake in forgiving her and divorce her. File today.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 02:40 PM
2

For the life of me, I'll never understand why the members of this sub are obsessed with voice recording over video. Voice means next to nothing, unless she's in the background narrating her abuse. You'll say "she was hitting me" and she'll say "he was hitting me"........and guess who'll they'll believe. Video. Always video.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 02:39 PM
3

Has he seen what you post on Reddit???
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:48 PM
4

Here’s hoping your husband gets therapy and finally understands that he never should have taken a cheater back.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:42 PM
2

Ma’am, are you ok? Her whole post history is pretty disturbing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 02:30 PM
7

Ma’am, are you ok? Is there a reason your in a sub for men?
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 01:49 PM
5

"then that specific connection was never made." Of course it was. Even without the same last name, you were connected. People saw you as a unit. And, if those people are going to judge YOU for HER actions post divorce, they'll do that no matter what her new last name is now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:40 PM
8

Sooooo.....what about women that never take their husbands last names? Their whole "connection" is made with her maiden name. Would you also force that woman to change her last name to sever that "connection" you believe exists?
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:04 PM
11

You lost me. Yes, divorce is hard, but we're talking about a name. I am remarried. My wife took my last name. My ex still has my last name. My last name is somewhat common, so there's a LOT of women that have my last name. It brings no shame to me. It does nothing to invalidate my current marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:00 PM
12

Yeah, but how does her changing her name disconnect her from all her years with you. It's 2026........with our digital footprint and social media presence, everyone knows everything about you, including who you need to be married to . My character and integrity aren't tied to the actions of the woman I used to be married to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 01:57 PM
10

It does raise an interesting discussion. This......is that discussion. The fact that your wife still shares your last name doesn't change who you are as a man, doesn't impact your reputation and definitely doesn't impact your work ethic. Can you imagine how many other people in the world share your last name? Certainly you have a brother, sister, or cousin that's less than ideal......does their existence somehow disgrace you? Have pride in the things you do and the way you treat others, not in a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 01:43 PM
15

Respectfully...... On the other hand, I scratch my head at the men that get themselves all wound up that their ex wives won't change their last names back to their maiden names. It just a name, and I'm not a prince or heir to some massive fortune. Of all the issues to get upset about during a divorce, this isn't even remotely on my list.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 01:30 PM
22

To not ever........ever......build my life around a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 02:13 PM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 02:14 PM
3

Simple.......stop using social media. Problem solved.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 01:58 PM
1

You would be an absolute idiot to think that you can protect your relationship with your children without a formal custody agreement. She might be agreeable now, but she WILL change her mind, and then she'll just.........keep him. And you'll be stuck taking her to court to fight to see your child. You can always deviate from the agreement, but if you don't have it, then you'll have nothing to fall back on when she changes her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 09:57 PM
5

Wait......I'm trying to understand this. The only reason she's not speaking you to is that you don't own a house, and she's triggered every time she sees someone else buying a home? That's it??? Friend, that's fucking ridiculous. She's ridiculous for acting that way and you shouldn't be accepting of it in any way.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:12 PM
2

It really doesn't. You might run into a handful of women that won't hate a divorced guy, but you don't want to be with women like that anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 01:26 PM
1

We live in a culture that tells all women that they are "10s". They get married, get comfortable, then watch TikTok where they're told that they can do better, and that the world is full of hot, muscular men that make $500k a year, run home to do chores, and just love average-looking, middle-aged women. And they buy it. My ex and I divorced 6 years ago, and she's still looking for that guy......
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 04:27 PM
25

I actually checked your post history to see if you were a woman........because crap like this gets posted by women in the divorce sub every single day. The older I get, the more I realize how important respect, niceness and mutual aid are in a relationship. I'll pick smart, caring, responsible, calm and emotionally mature over hot and lustful and day of the week now. You say "I'm not in love", but I'm guessing what you mean is that you're not in lust, and you think you can leave this woman and f…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:15 PM
3

There's likely nothing to save, my friend. Bear in mind that she texted you.....not a call, not in person. She's likely discussed ad nauseam with friends and family, who have all encouraged her to do this. She won't go back on that, because then she'd have to explain to them why she's not doing what she's told them she's going to do.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 03:42 PM
1

Doesn't matter. Honestly, I've met a lot of male attorneys that are more biased against men than anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:04 PM
3

Yes, your story is outrageously common. While the husband is trying to be fair, equitable and calm, the wife is on the warpath. She'll contact your friends, your family......hell, mine even contacted the CEO of my company (17,000 people). They'll do almost anything to be proven "right". Just know you're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 02:10 PM
2

You never really get to know a woman until you divorce her. She's now showing you her true colors, and I would imagine that she has several ex's that could share similar stories.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 02:51 PM
5

A cheating woman with no kids........my man, run. If you give her another chance, I promise she'll cheat again, because you'll be reinforcing that there's no consequences to her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 02:30 PM
3

Did you do all this without an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 01:40 PM
2

From what I know of NC, you have to leave, or at least have to prove that you had a separate residence for 366 days. But what you CAN do during this period is to get a temporary custody order, so that you aren't just walking away from your children. A lawyer can help you with that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 02:11 PM
1

Jesus Christ, she has totally fucked you in the head. You're blaming yourself for her inability to stay loyal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:42 PM
2

Wait........wait. Your wife has cheated on you, WITH THREE DIFFERENT MEN, doesn't want to give that up, yet wants you to buy a house for her to live in. In other words, she wants you to perform all of the financial and logistical benefits of a marriage, all while she gives the emotional and sexual benefits to numerous other men????? This is fucking crazy. If therapy hasn't worked since 2013, then it's not going to. You don't need to talk about this anymore. She isn't loyal to you, won't ever be …
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 09:41 PM
5

This is something that SOOOOO many men get wrong. Hell, even some attorneys get this wrong: YOU HAVE TO FIGHT A FALSE PROTECTION ORDER. Women nowadays are well-schooled on exactly how to use protection orders to their advantage. Lawyers advise them on it. Their friends tell them about it. Hell, there's TikTok and youtube channels dedicated to it! They know exactly what to do and not to do, and some will even try to convince their husbands that things will be better for them in the divorce if the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 03:29 PM
3

Courts won't do anything about it. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 05:38 PM
9

No, she works in an actual prison.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:50 PM
18

Women will often leave because they THINK they will do better. Women.....almost all women, believe that they are a perfect 10, and will simply walk out and have a better life, a better car, a better house and a better man. My ex left the life of being a SAHM in a 4400 sf house on an acre with a husband making mid 6 figures. 6 years later, she's living in a 2 bedroom apartment and working in a prison.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:12 PM
3

It worked out for me fine....in the end. But it took a lot more than just telling her "my kids are my top priority". Fun story: during my divorce, my wife was able to get me kicked out of my house and kept away from my kids by simply lying about domestic abuse. She had no proof, she just told the courts a lie and that was it. During that time I had to move out and get my own apartment. 6 weeks later, when I was finally granted visitation, the judge ordered that my WIFE got to view my home and de…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 05:13 PM
3

Honey......courts side with women over their words ALL THE TIME! It happened to me, and it's happened to countless other men here. I had CPS and the courts up my ass three times, over nothing more than the lies from my ex. I got hit with a TPO over nothing more than the lies from my ex. The courts can and will take a child if there's a threat of SA, even without solid proof. I lived it. I know exactly what I'm talking about. Are you one of these women that lurks in the men's divorce group, tryin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:40 PM
0

Yeah, no.....it's unusual beyond babies, toddlers. Any US judge would likely have a problem with dad having underwear time with his kids in bed......... Whether you agree with me or not, that's the reality. Mom can and will make an issue out of this.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 03:31 PM
3

In the US, he could absolutely use his kids based on accusations like this.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:58 PM
2

How is this political? For the record, I'm a divorced, non-white atheist, and I guaran-fucking-tee you don't have a clue who I voted for, or what my mindset is. A child occasionally getting scared and getting in bed with a parent is NOT a child that regularly sleeps with a parent in their underwear. I'm trying to help the guy, and you're trying to aid in his ex's case. I promise you judges will largely see it the way I do, and she can absolutely twist this. Kids that age need their own beds and …
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:32 PM
9

Yeah.......your wife is building quite the sexual assault case against you, and you'd seem to be helping her. If your kids are in the bed with you, then you should likely wear proper attire. Kids that age should be sleeping in their own beds, especially kids that go between two houses. While I'm sure your intentions are completely innocent, your ex could absolutely, positively use this against you. Before any europeans or asians start lecturing me, shut up. No one cares what you do and your advi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:55 PM
16

The idea of celebrating the failure of a marriage is absolutely toxic, and something typically reserved for women.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:04 PM
8

You realize that this woman owes you child support and, very likely, alimony, right?????
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 08:10 PM
14

Someone said something to me that stuck: Men will look in their wife's cup to make sure she has enough. Women will look in their husband's cup to make sure he doesn't have more than her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:06 PM
3

Son, nothing in a divorce violates your first amendment rights.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 09:39 PM
3

Uh huh.....but those men are being jailed on CONTEMPT charges for not following judges orders. Those are just easiest to find. Take the L and move on, please.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 07:39 PM
3

Friend, google "dad jailed for child support" You'll find hundreds of videos, from courts, of dads being arraigned for missing child support. And, respectfully, don't be so smug unless you know EXACTLY what you're talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 07:30 PM
6

Respectfully, this is incorrect. The judge's order IS a judgement, and failure to follow that judgement can lead to a contempt charge and a warrant.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 05:37 PM
8

Failure to make a court ordered payment can result in a finding of contempt, which can lead to a warrant for your arrest and jail time. This isn't the 1800s, crossing a state line isn't going to protect you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 05:19 PM
8

Cheaters cheat. Said another way, men that fuck married women will find other married women to fuck once the novelty of the new relationship wears off. And, now that your wife has cheated and "won", expect her to do it to him as well. Don't be fooled by the facade they put on in public.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:47 PM
11

The reason your wife is like is is because she doesn't live in reality. Rather, like a lot of women, she lives in a fantasy land fueled by social media and the grossly misguided opinions of her friends and family. She wants to believe that she's a victim. She wants to believe that she does "everything". She wants to believe that you're incapable of being a successful parent, and that you wold fall apart without her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:51 PM
5

Lord, I made the mistake of looking at your post history.....
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 05:43 PM
3

"Take them for a ride"? Or, lord.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:31 PM
7

Respectfully, I can tell you don't.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:29 PM
1

Huh......then why are you referencing my testosterone, or DND? Helpful hint, from those that actually associate with women: they don't like the creepy guy in the back of the class that's clearly leering at them. They talk about you with their friends in the locker room. Oh, and you're not slick, they know exactly why you're there. they can tell the difference between the guys interested in yoga and the guy that wants to see fake tits.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:26 PM
6

Near 600 at 52, friend, without TRT. Going to hot yoga to ogle "hard bodies" doesn't make you more of a man, sweetheart.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:15 PM
3

If you're willing to give up $300k of equity, then it's possible they won't make you pay alimony. But that's a LOT to give up......
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:18 PM
2

She's not going to accept a house she can't afford. How much equity is in the house?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:03 PM
4

Maybe......but divorcing her unemployed guarantees her alimony. You might be able to control the spending.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 12:53 PM
3

You absolutely, positively need to wait for her to get reemployed before you divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 12:50 PM
12

My man, you started a thread talking about "smoking shows", "hard bodies", and "fake tits". It sounds, even sitting on the computer, creepy as fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 12:48 PM
3

Seems annoying. How old are these kids? Why can’t you do week on, week off?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:08 PM
10

Yeah, a divorce will fuck the "nice guy" right out of you. One of the things I warm most men about is how your friends, especially couples friends, will treat you post divorce. In my experience, most will do whatever their wife tells them to do, which means dropping you like a hot rock.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 05:42 PM
1

Disgustingly dirty? No. Is it dirtier than when I'm home alone? Of course. I have three kids, it's near impossible to keep it perfect.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 04:13 PM
1

Good luck, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 03:07 PM
1

Yes, they will expect her to get another job. Yes, you would likely have to pay her temporary support. There's a difference, and it's likely your attorney hasn't explained that to you yet. Not trying to argue, just trying to prepare you. If your wife loses her job, the courts won't just let you divorce and toss her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 03:00 PM
1

Guarantee your state is like that. No state is going to let you leave a long term marriage from your unemployed spouse without some sort of temp support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 01:32 PM
2

No, all states are like that. But most states would make him pay her temporary support until she lands on her feet. Better to get her on her feet now.......
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 01:23 PM
4

Why would you file while she's unemployed? All it does is increase your chances of having to support her. Wait until she's employed again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 01:15 PM
4

I gotta tell you, guys..........you really shouldn't be spending a single second of your life following "influencers". I don't know this guy, but I bet I can guess: white middle-aged male, creates borderline red-pill rants and doles out platitudes that make men feel better about being divorced???? How close am I? All of them, without question, are flawed, insecure people that are more interested in selling content that helping men. ETA: dear lord, I just went and looked him up. I wasn't wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:55 PM
2

At the end of the day, all she's doing in controlling the narrative in her head. Socials and friends reinforce the "victim" narrative, talking to you makes her acknowledge the reality that she's not perfect and that she might have to apply effort to make things work. My ex was exactly like yours. I couldn't do anything right in her eyes, and she nitpicked every little things. My best example was the dishwasher......if I didn't load the dishwasher exactly like she did it, then she'd empty the who…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:17 PM
1

This is a fantastic list. u/Sensitive-Task3989 needs to follow this immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:05 PM
5

Yup.....that makes sense. It's being constantly reinforced to her that she's doing nothing wrong and she's the victim.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:04 PM
3

This is an attorney question. The one thing I'll tell you is this: you need to negotiate the entire settlement as a whole, and not offer individual bits one at a time. Alimony is legally mandated in some states, and offering to give her the house may not relieve you of that obligation. Were it me, I'd take the cash from the sale of the home, invest it, and pay her out over time......assuming you have no intent of buying another house.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 03:03 PM
1

You are going through ANOTHER divorce right now, correct? Because it's much easier the second, or third time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:53 PM
6

I'm not seeing narcissist. What I do see is a horrible person who is completely unable to take on any accountability in her life, and is likely getting a lot of support and reinforcement from outside the marriage. Let me guess........does she have a large, single friend group, or does she watch a lot of social media?
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:52 PM
3

I kinda cringe when I see posts like this. I get that you're trying to encourage other men, but you're simply pretending. You're trying to convince others that marriage is easy, when we all know that it's difficult. Men have feelings and emotions, and they feel the same loss from divorce......sometimes much more, than women do. There ARE men that don't want to divorce, and can't simply shut off the emotions of that simply because some guy on reddit tells them to. From looking at your history, it…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 02:38 PM
8

I'm sorry this has happened. For those reading this, please note that THIS IS EXACTLY WHY SO MANY OF US TELL YOU NOT TO MOVE OUT UNTIL THE DIVORCE IS FINALIZED!!!!!!! I get that is sucks to live in the same house as someone that cheated on you, but moving out does nothing but give her leverage to stretch things out, while she lives alone in a comfortable house and has you paying all her bills. OP, not picking on you, just want others to learn from this lesson.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 05:21 PM
1

Might work for simple divorces, but I pity the idiot that uses ChatGPT to handle his divorce with real assets, kids, and alimony at risk. The law isn't black and white, and sometimes it's as much the attorney knowing the judge as it is the law.....
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 07:29 PM
12

If you take the concept of child support at its face, the purpose of it is to maintain the child equally in both homes. When you completely ignore the income from a remarried spouse, you create a situation in which the children are likely living MUCH better in mom's house, while dad continues to pay more child support that she rarely uses on the children. ETA: I'm not saying he should be able to stop alltogether, but the system needs to be more subjective than it is now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:03 PM
6

Welcome to the wonderful world of an unfair system. You don't get to reduce child support because she's remarried. For CS purposes, they will ignore his income, as the assumption is that it is solely your responsibility to support your children.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 02:40 PM
4

It's going to greatly depend on the age of the children. If they're older, there's not a lot you can do about texting. If they're younger, just put the iPads away.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 02:57 PM
14

I'll be honest, I'll never understand the "no snitch" culture. Do you think your wife would keep quiet if you assaulted her? Or do you think she'd take every opportunity to ruin your life and keep you from your kids? You know the answer..... Your kids need to be protected from a violent alcoholic. That doesn't make you a "bitch", or "dirty", it makes you a good parent.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 03:00 PM
7

Friend, you need to prepare yourself for the reality that it will be impossible for you to get sole custody. The "abuse" you'd have to document to even consider it would have to be physical, frequent and current. Her using mean words 6 months ago won't ever cut it. You'll likely be fighting just to get 50% custody, and most judges consider that the best any father deserves.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 04:23 PM
2

I applaud the effort to guide traffic to your youtube channel, but if Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos can't avoid giving up half their wealth, no Youtube video is going to protect you from the same fate.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 05:53 PM
2

Yeah......you won't get a dime, friend. Case likely gets dismissed on summary. Courts simply don't care about women ruining men's reputations.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 02:13 PM
10

Guaranteed that she's going back to her girlfriends and female family members, who are assuring her that 1) you're a monster, and 2) that the judge will miraculously give her everything she asks for, for no other reason than she doesn't have a penis. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 10:37 PM
3

Please tell me you have a lawyer. Please. Of course you need to fight this, but you have to keep in mind that we still live in a world where many will automatically believe any woman that claims they are a victim.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 04:57 PM
1

If you've just separated from your wife, and you're not even divorced yet, then it's ENTIRELY too soon for you to be so focused on dating. Work on yourself and stop focusing on your next relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 06:06 PM
5

Imagine a system of law where someone is held accountable for something because of how it might look.......for the judge........in the off chance that they actually did it. If you think that sounds reasonable then you've clearly never been a victim of it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 12:42 PM
11

Are you in TX? If not, what was the judge's reasoning for going this direction?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 05:34 PM
1

If you're not talking to an attorney, I'd suggest you do so right away. I hate to be the one to tell you, but most judges would frown greatly on you handling this the way you are. I'm assuming your kids are with your wife?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:32 PM
6

Did you not have a lawyer? How did she collect all of that money during the marriage, and walk away with all of it (and the kids), while you got nothing???
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 04:28 PM
1

First off, I'm hoping you have a lawyer, and you're aggressively defending yourself in court. Beyond that, just be patient with your kids. Remember, your wife is lying to them, and they are victims of her desire to use them in the divorce. Therapy is highly recommend to help them process this. Don't talk down about their mother in front of them, they'll learn in time what a terrible person she really is.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 03:28 PM
1

The one upside to filing first in many jurisdictions is that any BS Order of Protection she files will be heard by your actual judge, rather than whatever JP or low level judge is on duty when she walks in. They'll still consider it, but they're better educated on the lies women tell to game divorces. Talk to your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 02:57 PM
17

My ex sits at our child's soccer games and tells of the other mothers that I'm an uninvolved parent and I never do anything for our child. I coach the team.........
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 02:36 PM
10

Brother, if you're blowing things up like that every night, then I'd highly recommend seeing a doctor or changing your diet.....
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:42 PM
5

Your daughters will adapt to the separate lifestyle. You should not be inviting your ex to do family things post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 12:38 PM
19

All of the social media sites are somewhat toxic, but the algorithm on TikTok is particuralry and intentionally terrible. Seems like every woman over the age of 18 is pushed influencers that reinforce the "red flag", "if he wanted to he would" and "toxic masculinity" mantra. My current wife is on TikTok, and she confirmed that her content changed dramatically after our marriage.........she went from content about crafting and travel to "divorce your husband" within weeks of our wedding. Many of …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:04 PM
8

My biggest advice is this: take your time. You should date for YEARS before you consider any sort of serious, life changing commitment with this new woman.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:05 PM
9

It's outrageously common. It's so common that some attorneys encourage their clients to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 08:09 PM
1

I'm not sure how you gleaned that this was the topic, but I'll address it anyway. You CAN get a divorce without agreement from the other party, but that requires litigation. If you agree on the divorce and the separation of assets, then naturally both parties have to sign to show that they agree.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:36 PM
1

why is what even a thing? Can you tell me what he's talking about?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:56 PM
3

Am I missing something? Is there a link? Who's "him" and what petition are we talking about?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:11 PM
4

Are you still separated, or are you fully divorced. If you not divorced, start the process. There's no way for you to move on from someone you're still married to.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 01:29 PM
9

"We can still be friends" is almost always a load of crap. It's either a placation to try to make both of you feel better, or it's setting you up to continue to provide the financial and logistical assistance she thinks she deserves from you even after you've divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 01:56 PM
1

Huh........someone told you they're trying to bring family court judges and attorneys up or RICO charges?
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 08:47 PM
1

Family court isn't about "justice". It's a business, plain and simple. But your lawyer could have been perfect, and you likely would have ended up with the same outcome. Brilliant lawyers don't do divorces. They're the D students of the law world.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 08:46 PM
2

No court will even entertain "falsification and slander" claims on a TPO. And her lack of an attorney doesn't really predict anything, as many courts will take sympathy on an "abused" woman defending herself in court.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 02:11 PM
6

When mine filed her TPO against me, she didn't have an attorney either. I got lucky......she hired an attorney right before the TPO hearing, and her attorney told her that she'd never win. She had no evidence, and I had her on tape laughing with her sister as they crafter the BS story she'd tell to get the TPO.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 02:05 PM
11

This tactic is so common it has a name: the "Silver Bullet Divorce". It's so common that many attorneys even recommend it to their female clients. And if it didn't come from her attorney, it was definitely recommended by her friends and family. It happened to me and many other men here. You're doing the right thing: get an attorney, file for divorce, and keep your nose clean. Don't contact her for ANY reason. She's just looking for your to fuck up. Don't trust her friends or family. I promise yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 01:57 PM
0

Friend, your complaint will be ignored, and nothing will be done. And bluntly, it sounds like you want to go after your lawyer because your ex wife is a bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 10:46 AM
9

I've heard the "it forces women to stay in bad marriages" many times, but I have yet to see anything other than ancetodal evidence to back it up. There's never any stats, just the assumption that children are being abused because of this. And their conclusion is always the same: it's better to punish ALL fathers rather than risk putting children with the minority of the abusers.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 02:01 PM
8

And here you are, in a divorce forum dedicated to men, telling men how fortunate you are to have turned your children against their father.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:57 PM
1

I'd highly recommend convincing her into getting a job BEFORE you tell her you intend to file.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:39 PM
3

The "Cash Grab" for lawyers is a litigated divorce. Their fees for a litigated divorce are typically 5x higher than a mediated one. Your attorney can't help it if your spouse refuses to negotiate.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:48 PM
7

Been there, done that. My ex was into community theater. With no pay, she would spend 13-25 weeks per year on this hobby. Each show was 10 weeks of practice (3-4 nights a week), then three show weekends (Fri, Sat and Sunday). She'd be racing out the door the second I got home, and be gone each night until 10-Midnight. But, god help me if I wanted one night a month to do anything outside of the house. And, just like you, she'd always tell me how I wasn't "supportive" enough of her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 08:07 PM
1

Hey, shit happens. If we don't learn from our mistakes we never learn.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 02:58 PM
1

Oh.......pure stupidity on my part.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 01:03 PM
2

Both of my attorneys were women. Gender doesn't matter, experience and willingness to fight for father's rights does matter.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 04:03 PM
3

I wrote a story about my personal experience. I live in the US, so of course it’s “US-centric”. Why do I need to cater to other countries in my story about my life…..
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 12:07 PM
5

Your wife tells you you're fat and ugly, that she's going to leave you, and is making active plans to leave.........and you're here asking us what you should do? Brother, I say this with love: you need a divorce attorney and a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 01:16 PM
4

lol…..sure you are. A married decamillionare who trolls divorce subs, plays “Clash of Clans” and got scammed by FTX. Thanks for the giggle.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 12:16 PM
-1

Even with two divorces, something tells me I’m still doing way better than you. But hey, that red pill mindset works great on your Xbox…..
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 11:30 AM
14

Oh, and I neglected to mention that a diagnosis of BPD alone isn't going to win me 100% custody. Only people on the internet think that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:41 PM
6

I have no proof of the diagnosis. It was done years before I met her, and I only know about it from a passing comment she made years ago. I've tried to prove it and can't.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:39 PM
2

"Neglect" is a high bar to hurdle for women in my state. Neglect would be something like driving drunk with our kid in the car, not keeping him from drum lessons.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:37 PM
5

I hadn't really experienced it before I met my ex, and it was an eye-opener. She had been diagnosed before she met me, but she didn't agree with the diagnosis, so she ignored it. It took me awhile to realize there was something serious going on beyond normal behavioral issues.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:36 PM
1

Mine schemed for years......both during our marriage and for years afterward. Keep records, do as much in writing as you possibly can, and never trust her motives. It's the best you can do to stay prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 06:13 PM
8

I’m sure what fantasy world you live in, but “taking custody” without a court order lands me in jail, not as the hero. Loving the false bravado, though.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:51 PM
5

In all seriousness, my former attorney told me this about custody in my state: The best a man will ever do, and the worst a woman will ever do.......is 50% custody.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:43 PM
5

Yes......one of my attorneys was a family court judge for 20 years. Right now I bide my time. It's easy to assume online that you "just have to fight harder" to get something like this done, but in reality it's simply not going to happen. She ain't losing custody over some drum lessons.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:26 PM
11

Oh, it's not due to lack of funds, or any sense of being "noble". She's have to commit murder before I'd get sole custody in this state. I've talked to multiple attorneys about it in the past, and all have assured me that it will never happen.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:09 PM
4

Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 04:06 PM
4

50/50, if applied properly, works both ways. You should be getting half of her retirement. If she's willing to provide that, then that's likely the best you'll get. Courts try to make things even in the present......they don't go back in history, figure out who paid more for what, then try to catch you up.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 02:36 PM
3

You seem to dance around it. A lot. And I asked this question for a very specific reason. When you respond, your declarations need to be specific. If you've never fucked her, then simply saying that is all you need to say. If you DID fuck her, then your declarations need to be around the timing of those encounters relative to the conception / birth of the child in question. The courts won't like you dancing around it, and you'll likely end up in court answering questions. Remember, the courts ar…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 02:31 PM
4

You keep saying the same things over and over and over again. Did you fuck her or not? That's a yes / no question. Regardless, as others have said, you need to hire a lawyer and answer the petition. Immediately. Ignoring it will result in you getting a default judgement against you and paying her child support. If you know it's not yours, then you have nothing to worry about in taking a DNA test. But, something tells me it might be yours, just based on how you're responding.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 01:33 PM
2

She's moved out.......change the locks.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 04:28 PM
2

If you're expecting a custody fight, then you'll definitely need the two bedroom. If you're planning on staying there awhile, you'll definitely need the two bedroom.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 06:55 PM
1

If "reducing child support" is the only reason you're asking for more custody, then you're a shit father.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 06:53 PM
4

Your two options are extreme, and the reality of what you should do lies somewhere in the middle. Contact an attorney and start discussing your options. Don't let emotions make quick decisions for you
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 02:34 PM
11

It's too late for you, but I suggest this for everyone else: Never settle on false claims like this. A permanent RO has impact on your life beyond your marriage, and is discoverable by employers.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 01:33 PM
1

Friend, I know how the system works. Even being outside of it doesn't necessarily protect you, especially if you ever mingle assets.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 08:08 PM
-1

Honey, I want you to think about what you just said: "men that fight are getting 50/50". In other words, many men are having to fight to get equal, fair custody. Equal, fair custody isn't the default, it's what you have to fight for. I spent $30k just to get equal custody. What if I hadn't had that amount of money? Are poor men just not entitled to their kids, and to get derisive comments from men like you? You miss the forrest for the trees.......you shouldn't have to fight to get that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 06:57 PM
2

Well, no.....that's not true. What IS true is that you have to put EFFORT into maintaining the value of a prenup. They have limited value for young marriages, where the assets are grown during the marriages. But for established people, they can work. You have to divide your assets and keep them divided, going so far as having separate accounts and keeping records of ownership.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 04:19 PM
4

The only way you can "not care about her income" is to have a rock-solid prenup, then make sure she STAYS employed and that you do nothing to mingle assets.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 03:49 PM
1

If you spend more than a second in the r/divorce sub, you'll see women arguing that almost all states are "50/50", and the only men that don't get that are the ones that don't fight for it. Hell, u/Signal-Dot2326 is saying the same thing here in our sub. But the reality is that judges and the courts have a WIDE amount of discretion and leeway to interpret the laws, especially in divorce and custody proceedings. It really doesn't matter what the state codes say, your judge can rule as they see fi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 01:31 PM
0

In many states, you go see a commissioner or other such lesser adjudicator prior to going to court. They attempt to solve the divorce, then it goes to court if what they rule isn't satisfactory to one or both of the parties. They do this to keep the majority of divorces out of the court system.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 01:22 PM
10

It's a really.......really odd thought. No one just makes a dating profile to prove that no one wants them. Why does that even need to be proven? Makes no sense. I'd guess the opposite: she knows men will respond, and she wants the validation.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 03:43 PM
2

Why doe you need your past on display for everyone in the world to consume it? Think about that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 02:48 PM
5

You're neither deleting your past nor you life, friend. You're deleting the digital footprint of what you projected your life to be to the general public.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 01:52 PM
5

Block her and any friends of hers that you don't communicate with anymore, then delete all the photos of they two of you together. Who cares if it pisses her off. It's more important for any women you may date in the future, as I promise you that they (or their friends) will dig through all of that and, in come cases, stalk your ex. Or, just delete it all. Social media is a scourge.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 01:27 PM
6

Ma'am, this is a group for men, and we take care of ourselves. Please move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 01:39 PM
3

"Financial abuse" is hard to prove, especially if you're claiming her "Abuse" is her spending too much money. Emotional abuse is equally hard to prove, unless she's been harassing you in writing in an obvious way. To prove any of this, you'd have to pursue a fault-based divorce.......which will cost you about 5 times what a no-fault divorce will cost.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 09:12 PM
5

Sounds like your ex fought for more custody, but now isn't willing to be a real parent when needed.....and of course wants to blame you for everything. If your kid is getting a 30 on tests, then he's so far behind the curve that he really ought to be held back. I'm honestly shocked the school is letting him play sports, but your ex and your family are insane for thinking he needs to continue any level of extracurricular activities. Hell, he could double his exam grades and still have an F.......…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 04:10 PM
4

I wouldn't talk to the father yet. Blood is dramatically thicker than water, and he's gonna side with her. Unless you're concerned she's going harm herself, I wouldn't take that step yet.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:18 AM
2

I'm sorry this happened. When you get clear of this, and you're ready to move on, please come back and reread this thread. Reading this as an outsider, I have to wonder why you ever stayed with her in the first place. Previous cheating, alcholism, BPD AND she treats you terribly? You should have been gone years ago. If she's BPD, don't expect this to go smoothly, or without lawyers. She'll bow up........I was married to a woman with BPD and I know how it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:09 AM
4

With or without kids, there's no advantage to filing first. This is internet lore that gets spread here by people that don't know any better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:06 PM
2

To be clear, ROFR should be for overnights.....NOT for daily childcare needs.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 02:02 PM
3

For the first year after my divorce, I would cry a bit every time I said goodbye to my kids for the week. It get easier. Don't apologize for having help, and fuck that guy that made you feel guilty about it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:53 PM
2

I'm a parent to three kids, two from my first marriage and one from my second. I was 41 when my third child was born. Something to consider: parenting is tough. I have struggled to keep up with my youngest more so than I ever did with the older two. The sleep deprivation hits harder. I'm not looking at the reality that I'll be in my 60s when he graduates from undergrad, and could be creeping up on 70 if he goes to grad school. When I do parent events at school, I often feel like the old man, as …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:45 PM
1

Yeah, that's not uncommon. Let me explain: your wife has all of her friends and family in her ear. She's telling them everything about the marriage and divorce, and likely embellishing some of it to make herself look better. Those friends and family have now assured her that she can get more from you, and that she needs an attorney to get it. Most of these types of people know nothing about divorce, and assume she should get all the assets and a lifetime of alimony because you were married for a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 08:37 PM
1

She can try.......she can petition the court to withdraw the agreement, but she'd likely have to prove that you materially misled her about something in the agreement. Your new woman wouldn't count. You were married for 120 days. All the courts will do is put you both back to where you were prior to the marriage. There's no chance she's "going to take everything".
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:31 PM
1

The reason you aren't immediately dropped is the graciousness of your attorney, no the courts forcing them to stay involved with the case without payment.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:26 PM
1

Once she's told you she wants a divorce, your obligations to provide for her needs is gone. The phrase "that's something a husband should do" should come out of your mouth every time she expects your help from this point forward.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:22 PM
1

Yes, they have to withdraw officially with the courts. No, the courts will not force them to continue to be your attorney if you make an "attempt" to pay. You have no right to counsel in a civil matter, so the judge is under no obligation to make sure you're represented.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:19 PM
1

Yeah, don't listen to this guy, he is completely incorrect. Your attorney MAY negotiate with you, but the courts will NOT force him to continue to represent you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:14 PM
1

Yeah.......this isn't a criminal case, and your attorney isn't appointed by the courts. An attorney in a civil matter CAN and WILL withdraw if you stop paying them. You have no right to an attorney in a civil matter. What you've just said here is completely incorrect.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:14 PM
2

During my last marriage, I ended up on an anxiety medication due to the constant insults, threats and demeaning comments from my ex. Shortly after the divorce, I was able to get off them and never got back on. But I spent about two years after the divorce having significant anxiety any time I had to be near her. Just driving into her neighborhood made me nervous. Getting within a mile of our old home still has the same effect.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:11 PM
1

Let me ask you: why do you feel the need to "cross-check" his facts? He can't just express his emotions?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:09 PM
2

Sounds like mental health treatment to me. Where will you children be while she's at this treatment? Are they consistently with you?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 12:23 PM
2

A friend of mine got taken back to court 17 times by his ex for NOTHING before the judge finally warned her about vexatious litigation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 02:30 PM
12

It sounds like you’re working without an attorney against a woman that’s trying to manipulate you. You desperately need an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 11:14 AM
2

This is the point in your life that you realize that you fucked up and you may have to pay the price. It's her call, and if she's smart she no longer trusts you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 03:34 PM
16

When you calm the fuck down, you’ll realize that an organized email is the best way to communicate here. Speaking as someone who dealt with a raging, screaming ex, you have no clue how good you have it. Going to war because of an email. You’re entirely too emotional.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 10:42 AM
8

You're under 30, you've been married less than two years, and your wife seems a bit unstable. Don't fight this, my man, just move on. As others have said.....it's very likely that she's found someone else and the whole cancer thing is a smokescreen. This is especially true if she won't tell you who the "friend " is she's staying with.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 12:42 PM
2

Brother, ROs matter. If it makes it past the temporary stage, it becomes part of your record, and can impact your ability to get a job, own a firearm, get a carry permit.........and will be seen by every woman you date from this point forward. Boys, do NOT assume that a RO doesn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:41 PM
3

No ma'am, I didn't. Because I was stupid and I didn't want her to go to jail. And because other times I called, nothing was done.....or I was told that if she went, they'd take me to, just because.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:36 PM
20

Stick to it, my man. Many women, even in divorce, expect their exes to continue to provide the emotional, financial and logistical support they provided in marriage, then are SHOCKED when they don't get what they think they deserve.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:24 PM
5

My ex, while drunk, took my electric bass guitar down off the wall and swung it at me. I blocked it with my arm (cracking my radius bone) and the bass bounced, hitting her in the leg. At the time it hit her, it didn't even register, and I didn't lay a finger on her. The next day, with full memory of breaking my arm, she finally felt the bruise on her leg. From that point forward she pointed to that bruise as " the moment I stopped feeling safe around you".
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:10 PM
1

It's perfectly reasonable for you to tell her that her boyfriend is not allowed at your house, and that you will call the police and have them removed if they show up.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 02:33 PM
2

I'm assuming that "getting cracked" means having sex. Block her on social media. Stop looking at her socials altogether. If friends try to give you updates, cut them off and tell them you're not interested in hearing it. If the guy she's fucking is contacting you directly to harass you, get a restraining order. If she's telling you directly, tell her you don't want to hear it, and remind her that the shoe will soon be on the other foot.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 02:01 PM
3

You'll get 50% custody, at best. The courts won't believe that you did all the work, and will take almost anything she says about being a SAHM at face value. She will get child support and alimony. You need at attorney ASAP. She'll fight for full custody, and many courts will just automatically give it to her. You need to be focused on 50% custody, minimizing alimony, and putting a specific time frame on her gaining full time employment.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:39 PM
3

Here's the reality: she will suffer no repercussions for keeping your children from you, or alienating you from them. Even if your custody order was in place, they'd likely give her 4-5 chances before they'd find her in contempt. She could probably keep them from you for a year or more before the courts would care. Fight for 50-50. It's the best you'll do, and the worst she'll do.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:19 PM
4

Kidnapping doesn't apply unless there's a custody order in place. Lord, I hate when I see this advice, because it's clearly coming from someone that has no knowledge of the system.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:17 PM
3

Are there children or significant assets involved? No one can answer this question for you without more detail.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:15 PM
14

If the boyfriend has been an active participant in an attempt to have you falsely accused and arrested, then he is not a suitable candidate for exchanges.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 12:59 PM
3

Yeah…..you need an attorney, friend. She’ll destroy you otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 12:12 AM
4

Why do YOU not have an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 11:41 PM
1

How much in assets were you protecting with $300k in legal fees?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 05:48 PM
7

I think posts like this are misleading. You didn't win 90% and full custody........she willingly gave it to you during the divorce. Had she fought, even a little, she would have gotten half.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 01:08 PM
24

Well, a lot of women do "level up" post divorce. That said...... Women spend a lot of time convincing each other that they weren't at fault in their divorces. They were never the problem......it was all you. They tell her that ANY guy would be lucky to have her, and the guys just trying to get laid confirm it for her, at least temporarily . And if you think that way, then you see no reason to change yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 03:36 PM
4

In my case, the men in our "friends group" were threatened by their wives to stop talking to me. These guys were so afraid of disobeying their wives they went along with it. Ironically, most of them are now divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 03:28 PM
3

The "toxic friend group" is pretty consistent in most men's divorce. Watch your back, don't engage, and involve the authorities if they cross the line.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:49 PM
3

Honestly, thanks for posting this. So many men assume that their ex and the courts will be fair to them..........only to be shocked when neither happen. YOU CAN'T FIGHT HER WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY. Full stop. This is particularly true when children are involved. Most courts are still outrageously biased against fathers. My divorce attorney once said "the worst a woman will ever do, and the best a man will ever do, is 50/50". The last 5 years on this sub has proven that to largely be true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:35 PM
7

Usually, it's because they've been sold a bill of goods from the woman. She'll tell them that the ex husband "abused" them. They'll tell him that the ex mistreated the child. She'll tell him that he's a terrible father. She'll lead him to believe that he's "saving her", and play with his ding-dong just enough that a weak-minded man will believe it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:19 PM
1

Dash cam in the car that records both inside and outside. SHE WILL LIE to the courts unless you have video.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:01 PM
7

That message from him is disturbing. You need to make your attorney and the therapist aware of that. Now.......you need therapy. No one is going to rationalize your anger if you do something violent. She's trying to get you to explode, because then she'll win. She'll have you in jail, she'll keep you from your child, and she'll move him in as "replacement daddy". You need to find a way to deal with this without violence and anger, and in a practical way that protects your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 01:58 PM
9

My ex wife suffered under the delusion that a trial wouldn't cost her a dime. One day, I told her to ask her attorney two things: What are your anticipated fees if we take this to trial? Would the fees we have to pay for both attorneys come out of our marital assets? In my example, we had about $60,000 in cash remaining. He attorney told her that her retainer for a trial would be $25k, and that my attorneys would likely be about the same. She then explained that this $50k would come from our mar…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 05:09 PM
11

This is something I tell every divorced guy I meet, and it's advice that it tough for some to swallow. As you're looking to improve yourself, the one thing you should consider is what role you played in the failure of the marriage. No matter how small, evaluate how you contributed to the failure, then work on that in your own life so that you don't make that mistake again.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 02:26 PM
2

I hear you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:29 PM
27

Many women divorce their husbands in their 40s and 50s because their friends, family and TikTok convince them that there is this bounty of healthy, fit, attractive, well adjusted, "kitten at home, shark in the boardroom" men just waiting for them. They've already blamed all of their problems on their husbands, and they assume they come into their next relationships with no baggage and no issues. When they get their profile out on Tinder and Hinge, reality starts to hit. The younger men aren't in…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 05:17 PM
2

There's a certain relief that comes when you realize that she can't control your life anymore. Tell the ex that, unless he he hears from you otherwise, she should expect that the children will attend all scheduled events on your parenting time. Then, stop responding to her. She's doing this to control you. Don't let her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 01:46 PM
20

When a woman surprises you from "out of the blue" and tells you there's nothing going on, she's usually lying. It could be one of serval things: There's another guy. If she's hiding her phone, leaving the house for long periods of time without explanation, or suddenly found a new "passion" for work, there's likely a guy. The women in her friends group have all started getting divorced, and they're encouraging her. They'll tell her how great is is being middle-aged and single, how, rich, successf…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 01:31 PM
3

It doesn't matter. Don't move out until the divorce is satisfied and the property settlement is in place. She has no right to push you out and you have no obligation to leave. Deal with your job and codependency issues now, don't add to your financial issues.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 02:05 PM
4

Why are you moving out if you own the house? Let me guess: she wants a separation, but she wants you to move out and continue to pay for her to live in the house while she "processes her feelings" Am I close? Do. Not. Move. Out. Unless there's threat of violence or false accusations, stay exactly where you are. Also, don't agree to a separation. If she wants out, oblige her fully. OF COURSE you will sell the house and take your half of the equity. The second you move out, you lose all leverage a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 01:48 PM
9

She's just fucking with you, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 12:54 PM
28

When women leave their husbands, their friends and family build up in their heads that they're leaving a miserable man who will spend the rest of his days alone, never able to do better than her. They lose their minds when that is proven inaccurate.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 04:09 PM
8

She’s fucking playing you, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 02:47 PM
16

A restraining order is on your permanent record. It can impact your ability to own a firearm, get a weapons carry permit, get many jobs AND could easily effect your custody. She's playing you. She knows how easy it is to accidentally violate a restraining order. Your attorney is an idiot. I can't imagine one reason why you'd voluntarily agree to a restraining order. Have you done anything that deserves a RO?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 01:00 PM
3

It's going to sound red-pill, but it's reality: there's a lot of judges in this world that would, absolutely, give her 50-50 simply because she asked. For no other reason than because she's a woman. You'd need to talk to a local attorney to get a read on the biases of the judges in your area to see if it's really a risk to you or not.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 12:27 PM
20

Whatever you do, don't accept a plea. If she doesn't have enough information for a restraining order, she sure as fuck doesn't have what she needs for a conviction. The DA will likely try to get you to plea to keep their conviction stat rates up. They don't care about the facts, they just want to claim they got a conviction on an "Abuser".
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:53 PM
7

Oh lord. An actual, clinical of NPD is outrageously rare. I see you're drinking the kool aid, but 99% of people that claim their spouse is a narcissist have no diagnosis and are simply repeating BS they've read on reddit and TikTok.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:17 PM
1

I have to agree with the others.......your initial behavior was entirely too generous, and she played the system thinking she could get more. You can't do this alone. Get an attorney in LA and fight her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:08 PM
7

What I find infinitely more telling is how they talk about divorce and if she gained or lost assets during divorce. If she gain assets and calls her exes a narcissist, then you need to run.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:52 AM
13

It means she has no issues with getting divorce. You're not planning on marrying her, are you?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:29 AM
3

What does your MDA say?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 07:19 PM
3

Whatever you do, don't move. I know it's frustrating, but abandoning your child right now is a mistake he'll never forget. What you need to do is keep meticulous records of all of his mother's transgressions, then take her to court. Every receipt she doesn't pay, every appointment she schedules on your time. You need to be ASKING her for money every time it's owed, in writing, no matter how she replies. Bluntly, it likely wouldn't make it to court.....a demand letter from your attorney would suf…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 01:29 PM
12

I think it's more of a factor of those that get limited time, then want to make the most of it. Now, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of real "Disney Dads": Those that only wanted a couple of weekends a month, make those weekends all about fun, then disappear back to the "single life" for a few weeks. But many guys didn't ask for that, and those are the ones I feel sorry for. Permissive parenting like described above usually bites women in the butt. They let the kids walk all over them, then…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 01:19 PM
2

That's great. I'm sorry that happened, but you're handling it right. Stay strong, stay in your home, and fight for your rights.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:13 PM
0

Nope. I've you've done is taken the judges assumptions about you and made them true. Same for your child, who will forever assume that you couldn't wait to hit the beaches in Mexico once you were done with them. Sorry that happened to you, but you handled it 100% wrong and shouldn't be giving advice to any men.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:05 PM
13

Don't hold it against your son. He was put in a very hard position by his mother, and likely didn't know what to do. This is her doing, not his.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:03 PM
2

You need to work with your attorney to negotiate, especially alimony. If she's unemployed or underemployed now, you can assume a salary. But unfortunately, many of us have had to change our lifestyles post divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 03:20 PM
0

I'm guessing he wants to see his kids......
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 03:16 PM
1

Im my county, the best judge for men was a woman. Conversely, the worst judge for men, the one that believe that divorced men should only see their kids a couple of days a year, was an old man.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 12:21 PM
17

The friends got to her, and convinced her she could do better, based on their knowledge of divorce that’s 40 years out of date.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 09:57 AM
19

Bluntly, not much. Tennessee recently tried to make 50/50 the "presumptive" custody agreement.......and the TN Bar Association got it killed. The more attention we can call to the unfairness, the better. Bluntly, I don't think we see real change until we have more women in financial "head of household" positions......then they'll be screaming for change.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 03:47 PM
8

The list is so long.......but the defining moment was when she excluded my children from my first marriage (that lived with us 50/50) as "not part of our REAL family". Beyond that: She couldn't have a minor disagreement. Even the slightest issue resulted in a multi-day fight. She was a functional alcoholic. She threatened divorce constantly She believed that it was ok to hit me because she was a woman. She constantly complained that I "did nothing", when I reality I was on my feet from dawn to d…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 01:10 PM
2

Have you discussed this plan with a lawyer. Because brother, you're making every mistake imaginable. Never leave the house, unless your life is in danger: The second you leave and move away, she has leverage. She can drag this out for MONTHS and she'll be living in the house you're paying for the entire time. You have no clue how easy it is to drag out a divorce. Hell, one request for a date reset can put you back months, and she'll be living in the house that whole time. Why are you running sca…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 01:07 PM
1

What's with the ChatGPT answer? It doesn't even remotely address his questions.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 01:02 PM
14

I've been divorced from my first wife for 10 years. I have 50/50 custody, and do WAY more for the children than she ever does. To this day, she still refers to herself as a "struggling single mother". Oh, did I mention she's also remarried?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:14 PM
16

Yeah, I gotta agree with that. I wouldn't be part of any party where I had to entertain the current boyfriend of less than a year and his family. That's WAY too much and too soon.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:08 PM
3

Spend a few days in the divorce sub, dear. You’ll see this comment from plenty of women, as well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 02:21 PM
45

Gotta love the nerve you have to come into a group of men and "woman-splain" this concept to us. The number of women that stalk this sub always amazes me. Any man going through divorce knows the above to be true. This is like telling us the sky is blue. ALL of us have experience the toxic friend group, the "contaigious divorces", the involvement that the friends have in making the divorce happen. We've lived it, dear, and we preach it to others so they can be on the lookout for it. And if any of…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:33 PM
2

Consumer goods, even in good shape, typically sell for pennies on the dollar......if at all. If the marriage was short, then I'm guessing not everything you listed was bought during that marriage. I'd suggest selling the house and splitting the rest, with a mind not to fight over every little thing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 07:29 PM
4

My gut is thinking that this was incredibly hard to read.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 03:05 PM
1

No, you can't control where your ex lives. If you get to the point that you can think about it objectively, you'll see that it's great for the kids and for you......as it makes back and forth easier. "I don't want them just stopping by whenever they want". What a bizarre comment. My house has an open door policy as far as my kids are concerned, and they've used it more and more as they get older and starting to drive. I cannot imagine telling my kids they aren't welcome if it's not my week, or i…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 03:00 PM
12

You should have called the cops and had all three of them jailed.......assuming there was some evidence that they actually hit you. Bluntly, you should have never allowed two women to grab you in the first place. That said, it's questionable whether or not the cops would have done anything or not. When my wife fractured my arm with a bass guitar, the cops that responded told me "we never just take the woman. If she goes, you go."
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 07:57 PM
1

In legal fees?????? That's insanity! She wanted everything, huh?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 02:39 PM
3

What did your lawyer say about dropping the insurance? As an aside, it is ridiculous that you've had to incur $8,000 in legal fees over a marriage of one year.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 01:31 PM
6

You don’t eat food you’ve thrown in the trash, so why would you pull this relationship out of the trash and rekindle it. It won’t last. Once she’s got the financial security she needs she’ll be off again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:11 AM
1

And there's no chance your parents are going to mysteriously repay the $30k right after the divorce??
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 02:58 PM
2

They can't claw back the money for the debt to the friend. Assuming your wife knew you were paying your parents medical bills, they can't claw that back either. If she didn't know about it, it might get a little dicey.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 02:42 PM
6

In most states, you can't just "sign away your rights" to a child to avoid paying support. It simply doesn't work that way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 02:35 PM
3

While the bias towards mothers is real, it's very unlikely that the courts are going to allow her to move the children's school, all because she's moving in with a guy she's known for two months. Honestly, it's very likely you'd have grounds for increasing your parenting time, as she's made an impulsive move and wants to move your children into a house with a man she's only known 60 days.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 03:09 PM
9

Interesting. I've got an acquaintance who reached out to several DV hotlines years ago. His wife was abusing him, hard. We're not talking about slaps and pinches......we're talking about punches, hammers, belts and sneak attacks to vital organs and his head. None of the local DV groups would even talk to a man. He started looking at online resources, and he reported that when he went to google, he got the EXACT sort of response you're talking about: try to understand where she's coming from. Dee…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 03:41 PM
3

Disagree. How would this even work? How would you prove that your wife is leaving you for a richer guy just for his money? You can't.......you'd be asking a judge to make an emotional decision that could easily be subverted by unscrupulous lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 04:36 PM
13

Here's the thing: judges hear this sort of TikTok psychology all the time, and they don't care. They're interested in a fair division of assets and the best interest of the children. What they AREN'T interested is blame laying, armchair psychology, and the like.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 03:03 PM
5

The ones you'd expect. The nasty women with hen-pecked husbands that pretty much hate men all the time......
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:36 PM
6

Yeah, that's pretty common. My ex wife had done her best to poison my son's soccer team parents against me. She's always telling them about how little I do for our son and how uninvolved I am in his life, and what a terrible father I am. Wanna know the kicker? I coach the team. I've coached it for 3 years...........
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:21 PM
6

"I'm done trying. You seem to think that I'm the only one with problems in this relationship, so there's nothing for us to fix."
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 08:57 PM
5

Here's the advice: Don't negotiate off of your current position. She's starting very far away, you're starting in the middle. They're going to try to get you to compromise from your current position, rather than acknowledging that you're starting from a position of compromise. Don't agee to less simply because it's simpler.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 03:58 PM
18

It's 2025. The definition of "abuse" is "telling a woman anything she'd rather not hear."
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 01:02 PM
13

Truly terrible, self-defeating advice. You lose everything you don't fight for. If you don't want to fight, don't bitch and moan about the system.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 06:46 PM
4

10 days is pretty good, but bear in mind that there are delay tactics that can extend that for weeks or months, depending on jurisdiction. My jurisdiction is 3 weeks, but my ex extended it to 6 weeks.......by going on vacation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 02:48 PM
1

The 10 month marriage thing is blowing my mind. How long had you known her before you married her?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 02:41 PM
10

It's called the Silver Bullet, and it's a tactic so common that some divorce attorneys recommend to women in every divorce. This exact situation happened to me, right down to my attorney warning me, me not believing her, and her finding it in the system. In my case, the judge approved it immediately, despite the only thing she said was "he speaks to me in a way I don't like, and he leaned in a doorway during a fight, leading me to believe he would trap me in the home.". Stay in the home right no…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 02:03 PM
4

I would, too......but there's a significant number of unreasonable judges and court systems that look for ways to put men's money in women's pockets.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 07:03 PM
1

Texas is well know as one of the most anti-dad states in the US. They say their system has no gender bias, but that's simply not true, as it's assumed the dad is the NCP. The purpose is to discourage divorce, not to protect the children. Don't take one of their packaged custody deals. Negotiate a settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:31 PM
9

In theory, yes. She's gotten married (just not civilly)and would then be cohabitating with the guy. It's a good question for an attorney, though, as she's clearly trying to manipulate the system.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:05 PM
8

Please tell me that your divorce decree isn't conditioned solely on "remarriage" to stop alimony, rather than "remarriage or cohabitation". You'd definitely have an argument that alimony should cease, but without a legal marriage there's some doubt whether you'd win or not.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 05:57 PM
5

You're in it!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 08:44 PM
2

If she's asking for a divorce out of the blue, and racing to get it done, it's because there's another guy. That's almost universally the case. Do not agree to anything if she's not willing to share. She's clearly hiding money from you. Highly recommend you get an attorney. EVERYTHING you guys have after 25 years of marriage is considered a joint asset.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:35 PM
4

Assuming you never added her to the title of these homes, and she never paid any part of the expenses, then it's unlikely that she'll get the houses in divorce. She will get half of anything acquired during the marriage. Be aware, this woman is out for blood now. Don't be alone with her. If you must, videotape the interactions.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 02:33 PM
5

One of the most misunderstood concepts in divorce is around "abandonment". Despite what you've heard, the issue with you leaving has nothing to do with abandonment. As long as you're still contributing financially, there's no issue there. The biggest issue is that you give her the upper hand. She's now living comfortably in a home that you pay for, without you. She's got all the leverage......shes in the home, she's bleeding you dry, and she likely has the kids. She can and will drag it on for M…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 12:48 PM
2

Yes, my man…..it changes everything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 11:56 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaystoriesgonewild/s/A7u4GzQdpw Is it possible she discovered this? Or is this all just a creative writing exercise?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 11:49 AM
2

The chances of getting anything on the reconsideration is near zero. Something my attorney told me: "The best a man will ever do in a divorce is 50%. The worst a woman will ever do is 50%" Most judges are working men off the middle, not working towards it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 10:35 PM
17

Brother, looking at your history, I'd highly recommend you get some therapy. Unless you're talking about adult children, I can't imagine the scenario where I turned my back on my children. If their mother was trying to turn them against me, I go after her, not them. I have no clue how old your kids are, but making them the enemy certainly isn't the way to handle it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 09:41 PM
10

Anyone stupid enough to try stuff like this is likely to end up with accusations of harassment from their ex. It's a lose-lose concept that makes us, as a whole, look petty.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 03:38 PM
8

In theory, you'd encourage her to go back to work BEFORE you file. That's the best way to avoid it, as there often isn't much you can do, especially if she hasn't worked in that long. Beyond that, I highly recommend that you make sure that your agreement terminates alimony "upon marriage or cohabitation". The latter is important, as many women will simply for-go the marriage part, so that they can live off of two men at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 04:33 PM
1

Who's to say. Maybe he's fresh out of his marriage......maybe they've been separated for years. You don't seem to know, so we certainly can't answer that for you. But, if your friend is nearly as smart, successful and self-sufficient as you claim, then it would seem that she could navigate this relationship without your interference.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 02:24 PM
10

My man…..45 isn’t “too old” and certainly isn’t too old to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 12:51 PM
5

Generally, the courts look to maintain consistency for the children. That means that the parent that's staying is the one that typically gets favored.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 07:42 PM
3

My wife did pretty much all of it. She fortunately didn't push for the permanent RO, as even her attorney warned her that she'd lose and had no grounds.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 05:49 PM
14

The system is, when you strip it all away, a business. There's money to be made in engagements, dating, honeymoons, and certainly divorce. The system will never change because too many people profit from it. Marriage, as a legal institution, needs to go away.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 02:58 PM
4

"I had to drive drunk, officer!! My abusive husband was trying to hit me, and I ran from the house!!!!" Met a guy online who's wife used that multiple times. She never got an OVI, and he got investigated by CPS. They were married each time it happened.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:56 PM
13

My ex's DV was "he spoke to me in a way I didn't like, and he stood in a doorway which led me to believe he was trapping me in the home." I was standing in the doorway......of a room with three exits. We were having a discussion. Then, she started recording and immediately says "ARE YOU TRAPPING ME IN THIS ROOM!?!?!?!", to which I laughed, immediately moved, and pointed out the two other exits to the room. She stopped recording, deleted the video, and called the cops.......telling them the same …
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:48 PM
86

Allow me to lay out the typical steps. It will vary depending on assets, children, and her willingness to ruin your life: 1. Wife decides that she wants a divorce. This is typically assisted by a large “girl group” who regularly talks poorly about their husbands and generally encourages each other to divorce. This group assures her that she’ll get everything in the divorce. The house, both cars, the kids, and enough money to be a SAHM for the rest of her life. Wife goes to an attorney, who shatt…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:33 PM
11

Nope. Ignore the day.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 01:06 PM
3

6-12? If you're not even sure when you're coming back, you're going to have a problem. Unless she agrees to return to the current schedule, you'd have to petition the court for the change and then the change back. And......you'd better have a damn good reason why you "need" to move.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 02:56 PM
1

You're operating from a weird set of assumptions, friend. The best marriage counseling I ever got was from a woman. Conversely, the worst therapist my ex ever had, who basically advised her that everything was my fault, was a man. There are some terrible therapists out there, and some with massive biases. But picking one on gender alone isn't likely to suss those out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 02:26 PM
20

As much as people tell you otherwise, there's no winning a divorce. Divorce is a net loss, and a "win" is nothing more than losing less than the other person. You'll realize one day that you're not being held accountable for things you did 20 years ago anymore, and what a great feeling that is.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 12:30 PM
5

Not really. Just sell the house. Leaving that sort of equity on the table is foolish.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:43 PM
10

Your focused on the wrong thing. Don’t waste time focused on his payment and instead focus on the mass amounts of equity you’d be leaving on the table.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:21 PM
3

You really can’t negotiate away child support, friend. You need to talk to an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:05 AM
1

Oh lord. Aren't you a peach.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 07:10 PM
9

Why in the fuck would I willingly cut ties with my children. I fought to maintain 50% custody, and made it clear to my ex that I'd go broke fighting for that. Nothing short of a court order would make me cut ties completely.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 08:57 PM
4

I did, essentially. For good measure, my wife tossed in alcoholism, anger management issues, and undisclosed BPD. But yeah, many men get tired of being pecked to death.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 12:35 PM
4

Please get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 11:13 AM
11

Understand that women like this rarely change. They don't have to.......society doesn't see anything wrong with a woman that berates or even abuses her husband. Some sitcoms are even built around the stereotype. Don't go back. She won't change.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:47 PM
3

Most of us don't want to admit that we've been used, but it happens more often than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 02:49 PM
8

In your case, you need to realize that this woman used you. It’s not that she won’t try, it’s that she had a cold, calculated plan to leave you as soon as her needs had been met.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 01:20 PM
6

Might as well just stay married…..
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:38 PM
17

Something to remember: your children are just as much victims of her insanity as you are. By ignoring them, you're punishing the children as well.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 03:34 PM
6

Brother, she's following the script to a T. The only part of you that doesn't disrupt the "routine" is your money.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 01:46 PM
2

You need your own attorney, who can represent you in mediation or court.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 01:45 PM
14

The biggest mistake I see over and over and over is men deciding to "just give her everything" in order to get it over with quickly. This is especially true when they have a new piece of ass waiting in the background. They're more worried about getting laid than they are protecting their financial future.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 09:07 PM
13

Well, to be honest, most of the advice she got was encouraging, from a man's perspective. No one telling her to cut and run, most telling her NOT to overreact to her current situation. That said, we know what's likely to happen. She'll opinion shop until she finds a toxic group that will blame all her woes on her husband, encourage her to cheat, and promise her that the dating world is full of hot, rich men , just waiting for a dumpy, middle aged woman to come on the scene.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 03:33 PM
4

For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I seriously dated and lived with a girl in college that that started a homosexual relationship while with me. After gaslighting me about it for months, she finally admitted it, but made it seem like my fault for not "seeing the signs".
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:57 PM
4

You need to fully and aggressively defend yourself against these accusations. Do not take any shortcuts or quick outs. Don't settle on anything. If she has no proof, it will ultimately end in your favor. Don't take any agreed orders, and don't "settle" anything outside of court. Force her into court to prove her case. That said, don't expect her to be held accountable for lying in court. Women are almost never punished for lying to get a protection order. The issue will be dropped, and the court…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 07:30 PM
10

Wow…… You come here, ask an open-ended question with near zero context, then jump down the throat of the first guy to try to help you. Good luck, buddy. You’re going to need it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 10:07 AM
1

I’m good, bro. I like to help real men, not guys bullshiting this group.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 01:16 AM
1

You’re full of shit??? In your last post, you claimed your wife had $700k in legal invoices. Unless your Mark Zuckerberg, that’s a fucking lie. No attorney is going to go on credit for 3/4 of a million dollars to a woman divorcing a guy who’s out of cash.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 01:08 AM
2

Sorry man, but there’s no way. No attorney is waiting to get paid out of home equity. It just doesn’t work that way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 01:03 AM
2

No they haven’t. If anything, they’re BSing you. They’re not hoping a broke guy is going to pay them at the end of a contested divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:53 AM
2

Attorneys don’t work on credit.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 12:45 AM
2

Contrary to what most believe, the main issue with leaving the house is leverage, not claims of "Abandonment". The abandonment issue is simple to address: assuming you're still paying for the house, and maintaining a relationship with your children, there's no abandonment. This is a issue so widely misunderstood that even some attorneys don't get it. The real concern is that, once you leave, she has no incentive to negotiate with you. Women know this. They have the house, the kids, and.......all…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 02:21 PM
0

I'm guessing it's yours, and you're trying to drive clicks.......
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 04:37 PM
4

You're just pimping this all over reddit, aren't you.......
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 04:29 PM
4

You'd be surprised how many "great women" will play these types of games when money and control are at stake. I hope you're right, but the timing can't be ignored. I'd suggest getting an attorney immediately. Even if you don't file, you need to start understanding your legal rights and options.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 04:15 PM
12

Sorry for those that this will offend, but it's not possible to be an effective parent living 1500 miles away and seeing your kids on breaks. You need to start realizing that she has likely played you. She knew exactly what she was doing......convincing you to take the job far away then immediately claiming she wants a divorce. She gets the benefit of the extra money you earn plus the financial benefit of being the primary custodial parent with the majority of custody. The timing is too perfect,…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 03:59 PM
6

With respect.......grow up. If you don't like the woman, don't buy her a gift. Things like this are immature and make you look like the antagonist.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:33 PM
3

Talking to a financial advisor makes sense, especially if you aren't the best at planning and budgeting. "Life coaching" is almost universally a scam. There's no qualification for being one, expect giving yourself a label.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 03:55 PM
9

To be clear, "that asshole" hasn't broken your family. Your wife is breaking your family, because you won't succumb to her desires to cut off anyone who doesn't agree with her political leanings. That threat is terroristic in nature: either you do what I say or I'll torch this family. Pure and simple, she wants to control you. Reasonable people can disagree with other politically and still have them in their lives. I won't go down the path of debating the rhetoric the far left has about Trump, b…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 03:29 PM
3

Eh.........divorce for a disabled man with a SAHM and a 21 year marriage could be financially devastating. Given that he can't point to any acute issues for divorce, and doesn't state that they've tried to fix anything, it would be worth a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 02:22 PM
3

I can't say whether you're overreacting or not, but I would ask: have you tried marriage counseling yet?
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 01:35 PM
1

Brother, you need therapy. And no, this type of behavior isn't the therapy in any sense of the word.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 02:38 PM
2

Speaking as a man with three kids that recently got remarried..... I was very......very cautious after my last marriage ended. It had been pretty devastating financially and emotionally, and I wasn't interested in putting my children through it again. We dated for three years before we married, and I didn't see one red flag or I likely would have ended it. It took me a long time for me to trust her because of what I had been through previously. One thing that she's agreed on is that my children …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 04:17 PM
21

They're women.........she'll sleep great tonight believing that everything she did was rational, justified, reasonable and necessary. And every single woman she encounters, both friends and family, will back her decision to handle it this way. She'll use TikTok logic of " if he wanted to he would", "bare minimum" and "weaponized incompetence" to justify why she doesn't have to have any conversations with you about this. She will justify the false DV claim because the word "abuse" has been so bas…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 12:21 PM
5

Wait, let me make sure I understand this correctly....she got DHS involved on bullshit allegations, they made you take therapy and she got sole custody. Despite that, she's let 4 of the 6 kids live with you FULL TIME???? But she doesn't want to give up the money...... And they say the family courts are fair. My man, I know you don't want to pay the attorney, but you NEEEEED to. You clearly aren't getting a fair shake, and having counsel is the only way to insure that you do.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 07:58 PM
2

Brother, best I can tell your marriage has been over for 5 years, and you're clinging to the ideal of a wife that will never be. If she's not cheating now, she will be, all justified because you dared to protect yourself with the police all those years ago. It's over, my man. You're a hostage in your own house and of your own, justified actions.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 02:42 PM
9

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. She has family down the road that can assist her, you do not. Financially, it makes no sense for you to leave. While the "restraining order" is a viable threat, you can minimize that risk by staying calm and filming any interaction that gets out of hand. Speak specifically to your attorney about the legality of filming in your state. Remember, you're not displacing anyone, and your children can stay in the house anytime.......if she's uncomfortable she can leave. Also, t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 04:49 PM
0

If the house was hers and not considered a marital asset, then the judge won't give a fuck who she sold it to and what she sold it for. You would have no claim to it if she owned it before you marriage and has spent the last 4 years paying for it by herself while you were off paying the price for your poor decisions. As for the other stuff, she might have to reimburse you for those things, assuming you can prove you owned them and that she sold them. That said, if she sold them to support hersel…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:33 PM
-1

Oh calm down. When most people suggest that a recently divorced, 70 year old man go to Thailand, that's what they're talking about, friend. Part of that odd "passport bro" culture.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 03:35 PM
-5

I'm not sure fucking teenaged girls you hope aren't really boys is the best medicine for a guy getting over a 30 year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 03:32 PM
2

Brother, this guy isn’t traveling for work….he just wants to move. And making that choice absolutely, positively makes him less of a father.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 08:03 PM
5

You’re not “free”, friend. You’ve got a 3 year old to raise, and you can’t do that if you fly in once in awhile and play Disney Dad.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 07:50 PM
2

You could try to sell them, but you'll then learn how little used marriage jewelry really is. I think I got $50 for a 18k gold ring. Almost not worth the gas.......
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 02:39 PM
2

I've been divorced from my wife for going on 5 years, and she's still salty about me being in another relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 05:44 PM
21

"I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you." -Women
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 04:16 PM
15

How do you rationalize in your head that god got you out of that situation, but not that god put you in that situation in the first place?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:13 PM
1

Please tell me you aren’t doing this without a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 11:29 AM
2

You're asking for a list of lawyers in an INTERNATIONAL group of men. Even if this were just isolated to the US, you're talking about 50 states and thousands of municipalities........ It's not a practical idea, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 06:14 PM
9

Sounds like wife and mom saw dollar signs. I hate to say it, but it's not uncommon. It's hard to answer your questions with so little information. Highly recommend you get an attorney. Go ahead and file now, to avoid her taking your child out of the country.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 04:09 PM
4

Modern divorce has killed the concept of a SAHM. Divorce is quick and easy and no reason is needed. That's not necessarily a bad thing.......but alimony has continue to be rooted in the past. It's based on the assumption that a woman will be alone forever, raising children that the father "abandoned", and that she should be kept in the lifestyle that her marriage to him provided. Plus, she gets half of everything. Some states even require alimony for the same number of years in the marriage with…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 03:41 PM
7

My ex and her mother sat in my house (I owned it alone before the marriage) talking about how everything, including her alcholism and rage management issues, were my fault, and the changes they would make to the home after they got me out. I was home and within earshot of this conversation, with no closed doors between us. And we weren't even discussing divorce at the time......this was just a normal Saturday night.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 02:06 PM
12

You should file. She's not going to change her mind, and I can promise you that her mother is constantly in her ear blaming you for.....everything.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 01:46 PM
5

It rarely does. The friends convince them that they'll get everything: the house, the money, the kids........... They'll convince her that she'll get it all and her life of luxury will continue while she gets to date all the hot young guys they think are just pining for them. Reality eventually sets in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 07:55 PM
8

In my experience, most women give up around the 3rd year. They go broke fighting, their clucking hen friends move on the the next divorce in the friend group, and they lose interest.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 07:51 PM
0

Sounds like a great list for a stalker.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 10:40 AM
6

DO NOT TAKE THAT SECOND JOB BEFORE YOU DIVORCE!!!! Bear in mind that many courts don't give two fucks if you work yourself to death, as long as you give more money to your ex. If you take that job now, they'll just build it into your worksheet and give her more money. She could still have it considered later, but she'd have to get an attorney and take you back to court, which she's less likely to do.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 06:20 PM
1

In theory, if both parents agree, you can do whatever you want outside of the custody agreement. The agreement is merely a fall-back point if you ever stop agreeing. One thing you can't stop doing, though, is paying child support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:53 AM
1

Most courts don't just let the child "choose". If you did that, then most children would simply choose to live with the parent that gave them the most candy and screen time. When a child hits their teens, the courts will give them a voice in their custody decision. This voice is usually filtered through a GAL. That's weighed along with all the other evidence presented to the courts as to what is in the best interest of the child.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:43 AM
16

Meh........my next door neighbor left her husband for (several) gym guys. Her husband was fit as fuck, too. She just decided she hadn't spend her formative years getting run through, so she made up for lost time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:14 PM
8

I'm guessing your ex cheated on you with a guy from the gym?
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:01 PM
29

She's not going to change, and you can't fix her. It's not her hormones, it's her personality. "Happy Wife, Happy Life" was a phrase conceived by women to convince men to placate them to achieve happiness. "She'd never do that to me". Yes, she fucking would. The woman you're divorcing is not the woman you married. Get a lawyer immediately. Stay calm. Even when she doesn't. Record everything you can. It's gonna suck for awhile. Embrace the suck. Don't beg.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:45 PM
15

Never eat out of the trash, my man. Once you throw it away, leave it alone. She doesn't really want you back.......she just doesn't want anyone else to have you. She already lost in court, now she's losing in life. Begging you back is just hitting the reset button, so she can try again in a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 07:28 PM
5

Yeah.....She'll run you broke. I've never understood it, but so many women assume that the legal fees all get paid out of some mystery fund that doesn't impact the amount of money they get post divorce. Their friends and family bolster this belief, that they need to fight for every single dime, and that you will be the one that will have to pay all of the expenses of the divorce. If your lucky, she'll get an attorney that will talk reality to her. Unfortunately, many attorneys will encourage her…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 03:34 PM
3

Oh, it took about $60k.....the $11k in a day just finally pushed her over the edge. It was comical at times. In her mind, she assumed that we were still fighting for the assets and cash we had before the divorce. She assumed they were frozen in time, and she got her share of that number, not the number that was left. It never dawned on her that you couldn't split money that you spent, and that those attorneys were bleeding us dry. I've been divorced twice.....the first one thought the exact same…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 12:13 PM
6

I simply told my wife that every dime we spent on attorneys was another dime she couldn’t take. We had a 13 hour mediation that cost us $11,000…..gone in one day. At the end of that, she still wasn’t satisfied and claimed she wanted to go to court anyway. I got on my phone, pulled up my banking app, printed the balance screen…..showing the charges that had recently come out for both attorneys and the mediator. I wrote on there “that’s all that’s left”…..and had the mediator give it to her. Stupi…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 11:26 AM
5

I have mine split between my current wife and my three children.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:45 PM
3

Oh brother……..you’re in for a rude awakening.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 01:03 AM
5

Are their kids involved? Are you assets complicated? Is your wife likely to try to fight (I already know the answer to this)? Representing yourself is almost always a mistake, especially when the answer to ANY of the above questions is yes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:19 PM
5

Wait.......say that again: she makes significantly more than you, yet the idea is that YOU would be required to cover "core expenses", while she pays for extras at her discretion???? My man, she wants a collaborative divorce because she wants to fuck you over. If you got what you should get, you would likely get alimony, child support, and a division of extras equivalent to your income differential. The mediator should uncover this, so long as you don't agree to anything up front.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 01:37 PM
3

You're not wrong. She knows she's going to get at least half the assets and a lifetime of alimony. She can monkey-branch to the new guy, try to live the rom-com lifestyle she thinks she's missing, and barely miss a beat.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:36 PM
4

Fuck me. That gives me very little hope for any marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:29 PM
2

That’s an ironic choice of words, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:09 PM
1

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have looked myself!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 12:49 PM
1

Fuck me.....that messed up my morning.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 12:44 PM
7

I looked at his post history and saw it was her idea. Unfortunately, I looked at yours too………Jesus man, have some self respect.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 12:27 PM
9

Is that a typo??? 46 years? So this woman, in her 60s, wanted a divorce after all that time?! Why?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:42 AM
6

Dating during a divorce is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. You mix the drama of the divorce with the drama of the new relationship. You cling to the new woman as a replacement. You never really learn from your prior mistakes, because you don't have to.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 03:06 PM
3

No they didn't, my man. Most of us, myself included, deluded ourselves into believing the woman with us was the right one. We ignored giant red flags, we dismissed troubling behavior. We spent too little time dating. We didn't live together before we got engaged. We thought the woman we met in the "honeymoon phase" was the woman we'd have forever. I may be jaded, but I'm not going to suggest to a 26 year old that he spent the remainder of his life alone for fear that he might end up like the res…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:59 PM
11

Then don’t get married, son. At least get a prenup. Best yet, pick the right woman. Men smarter than you have tried quitting jobs and non-compliance to no avail
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:30 AM
3

Where’s your attorney in all this?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 11:12 PM
1

I've had all three of my children tested. They are mine, but there was a good chance they weren't . Paternity testing should be mandatory for all children in every state, whether the parents are married or not. According to the statistics, 30% of the children tested are found to have a different father.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:55 PM
1

Brother, you need some serious mental health help.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 03:52 PM
2

If your wife has taken marital funds and that has prevented you from being able to obtain an attorney, then you need to get those funds back. I'd suggest that you have an initial consult with an attorney and see what advice they have.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 01:57 PM
5

Unless your separation agreement gives your wife the ability to make unilateral medical decisions for your child, I'd contact your attorney to take emergency measures. I'd also contact the doctor's office and make them aware that you oppose the medication, and that the child is being medicated without your consent.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 01:18 PM
6

Interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:39 PM
9

Oh lord. You don't see the irony in the fact that you've been dating and sleeping around, yet you're upset that she's seeing someone?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:32 PM
14

Wait......what? You're dating and sleeping around. Are you, in any way, surprised that your wife is divorcing you and doing the same thing?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 08:30 PM
5

You need your fire that attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 02:46 AM
2

Could you, in theory, get her to "true up" the financial agreement after she takes all the furniture? Yes. Will it be near impossible to get her to negotiate that amount after you've let he take everything? Also yes. It's not reasonable for her to take everything. Make it clear to her that you have no intent on allowing that, and that everything will have to go into storage until mediation unless she's willing to be fair now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 04:02 PM
5

My man, you need therapy. It can help. Things do get better. If anything, you've now learned that your happiness shouldn't be defined by one single person in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 12:43 PM
4

Let's correct your labels: your GIRLFRIENDS HUSBAND isn't signing the divorce papers. How long have you been dating this woman? The"we've been separated for years" line is usually a load of shit, as is the "he won't sign the papers". The key is.......this is none of your business. Your girlfriend needs to deal with this, and you need to seriously consider that she's feeding you a line of shit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 03:07 PM
12

My man, she’s reading out of the playbook and telling you ALL the lies. You’ll never see those kids and she’ll file for some custody and child support the second she becomes a full resident in her new home. YOU ARE YOUR CHILDRENS “FAMILY SUPPORT”.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 01:45 PM
2

Your system isn't that different, friend. I direct pay as well, but it's ill-advised to just start paying the assumed Child Support amount without confirmation from court or risk some Tom Foolery in court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:45 PM
4

But here’s the catch, my man: if you pay her cash, for example, she can go to court and claim that you never paid child support. Then you’ll pay it twice. It happens often.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 11:50 AM
15

Often times men fall victim to this reality because of mistakes they make in the process. A few things to consider: Don't move out: unless you are under threat of violence or false accusations, don't move out of your home. This isn't the 60s, you aren't relegated to the tiny bachelor pad. Staying in the house forces her to move faster to get to the single life she's dreaming of. Don't agree to a separation: Similar to above, never agree to a separation unless it's done legally and fully divides …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 02:29 PM
8

That bitchy attitude and temper wasn't just her hormones.....
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 09:34 PM
7

Why would moving back into the house impact your chances at 50/50? Bluntly, being out of the house has much better chance of having a negative impact, as she can claim that you "aren't involved in their day to day lives" and "abandoned them". Move back in. Don't ask, don't warn her. Show back up with your shit. MEN: STOP MOVING OUT JUST BECAUSE THE WIFE TELLS YOU TO. You own that house just as much as she does.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 02:46 PM
-1

Sure! The main attraction was that she was.......nice. Laid back. Or sure, she's attractive, but what drew me to her more than anything else was that she lacked the drama and meanness that most modern women seem to have adopted into their personalities. She didn't play games, and she didn't want to test me. She was the exact opposite of every women I had ever been with.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:09 PM
2

Do they exist? Yes. My current wife fit every category except your age group. Are there a lot of them? LOL.......no. They're pretty rare. You're much more likely to find a woman with grown children if you expand your age range a bit. 30 year old women will likely either have young kids, or have a biological clock ticking like Big Ben.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 01:40 PM
2

It could take weeks to get an attorney and get the petition filed.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 06:50 PM
5

You…..can’t. A postnup that she’s signs without benefit of attorney review is completely unenforceable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 12:37 PM
35

LOL.....I have a fun story similar to this. The day my first divorce was finalized, my ex and her toxic friend brought wine and crystal glasses TO COURT, and popped the champagne one the sidewalk in front of the court.....at 10am. All of the pictures were posted to social media. After being informed by as passing cop that they could be arrested for drinking in public, they continued the party at the friends house. At 3pm that same day, my ex decides to go home......and got arrested for DUI. She …
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 07:44 PM
8

Sounds like your ex has convinced you that the failure of your marriage is due to your faults. I can promise you that's not true. Here's something a modern woman won't tell you: you don't have to "work on yourself" every single day. You don't have to improve every day. You don't have to go to therapy every day. Some days, it's ok just to be you. Some days, it's ok to sit on the couch and drink beer. And, here's the shocker: some things were her fault. It gets better, I promise. Go easier on your…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:06 PM
17

It's like they all take the same class...... Shortly after our divorce, my ex sent me a text and demanded that we attend the parent-teacher conference together. I didn't attend anything with her, but I agreed. Within hours of agreeing, she sent an email to the teacher telling her that she would need a separate meeting, because she couldn't be in the same room as me......because she was afraid I would beat her. The teacher actually called the fucking cops, who came to my house to discuss with me.…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 04:40 PM
4

He's not divorced. Their agreement was never approved by the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 05:15 PM
2

So you signed a document, didn't submit it to the court and never got divorced. That makes no sense. And without court approval, you've got a claim of breach of contract, at best.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 05:14 PM
1

What do you mean "the divorce was deferred for three years?" Were the results of your mediation approved by the courts or not?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 05:05 PM
1

When you say you "signed a mediation", do you mean that the results of the mediation was a Marital Dissolution Agreement that was approved by the courts? Are you officially divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 04:56 PM
2

We found the woman with the fake profile.....
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:23 PM
2

Or.....and here me out......it might just be about the dishes. The OP doesn't give enough detail about the situation, other than you should leave your wife if she leaves dished out. It's possible that she intended to clean it when she got home, and he beat her to it. It's likely that it had absolutely nothing to do with him at all.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 04:59 PM
6

I'll be honest, this sounds like the kind of logic women use. If you had no problems in your marriage other than a dirty pot, then you made entirely too much of a big deal out of this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:47 PM
8

My ex tried to turn an outpatient dental procedure against me. I briefly ended up on Wellbutrin due exclusively to my ex, at a low dose for less than a year. It's been 4 years since I took my last dose. To this day, she points to that as proof of my "mental instability" Never, ever, ever.....share anything about your mental well-being with your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 12:59 PM
3

Do you have any experience with men and divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 06:58 AM
1

How didn’t you see this coming? You signed the doc, but wrote something stupid under your signature, then convinced the notary not to sign it?????
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 11:58 PM
12

You don't. Guaranteed her family and friends are in her ear, convincing her that she's somehow a "victim" and she deserves a lifetime of payments. Say no, and that you'll see her in court. Once she get an attorney, they'll convince her that her toxic friends are wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 02:32 PM
13

I can’t believe that you’re even contemplating, for a second, letting the new girl “throw down”. Bluntly, both the wife and the girlfriend sound like trash. What you really need to do is stop dating until your divorce is over. Baring that, get a restraining order. Do not, under any circumstances, allow those women to communicate
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 12:20 PM
6

You're an unemployed man whose going to need alimony for some period of time until you get on your feet, plus child support. Do not do this alone. You absolutely, positively need to get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:57 PM
10

Well, you do, my man. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:16 PM
20

Jesus Christ......get the chip off your shoulder and listen. I'm not blaming you for comforting her. I'm explaining it to you. Your relationship started around a lot of trauma. She was mourning the loss of her father, and you played a comforting role. But that trauma masks bigger issues. Things like her massive alcoholism. Maybe incompatibility in your personalities. Maybe the fact that you didn't have a lot bringing you together beyond the trauma. Maybe financial issues. This isn't a condemnati…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:13 PM
10

No, not you.....her. You stated that her dad had just died, and you were there to help her grieve. That's trauma bonding.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:08 PM
24

You've taken the conclusions one red-pill too far. From reading your comments, you had a trauma-bonded relationship with a full-blown alcoholic drinking a "handle" of vodka a day and you (together) lacked the financial resources to even cover basic housing costs. You blame the mother and "feminism", but in reality that marriage was doomed from the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:03 PM
10

Actually, he's onto something. While I wouldn't go so far as to say that "it wasn't love", what I will tell you is that trauma bonded relationships rarely last. At some point, the comfort you provided isn't enough, and the relationship falls apart.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:00 PM
6

I've never, in my life, waiting out someone's marriage. I've learned as I got older that that "great woman" that picked that "terrible dude"...........really likes terrible dudes. She made an active decision to be with that guy. And when that relationship ends, she'll likely find another terrible guy to take his place. If you're a "good guy", then she'll likely use you for awhile, then dump you the second she finds another "bad boy" that creates the drama in her life that she craves.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 02:40 PM
3

I’m sorry that happened. Any kids?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 07:28 AM
1

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to get the contempt charges?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:58 PM
2

You got hit with a contempt charge WHILE retaining an attorney, and you admit that you lack the ability to maintain your composure? My man, you need an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:46 PM
11

I'm going to drop a truth bomb on you. Your marriage is already over. Your wife has purchased a home in another state, and has already moved away from you. I'll speculate that the ONLY reason she wants to work on this now is because there will be financial implications to her if you divorce. Do you really want to stay in a relationship with a bully? Someone who uses anger and sabotage to get her way? Someone who will move away from her family without any input from her spouse of 23 years?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:00 PM
3

You've got your head in the right place. Keep it up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:06 PM
9

Let me translate for you: she's not worried about the kids......she wants to insure that you are otherwise occupied on Valentines day. Let me guess, this is your first V day separated?
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:52 PM
21

I think the overarching issue here is what SAHMs consider an "equal division of labor". Modern women have it shoved down their throats that their husband should be doing his fair share of the housework. "Fair share" is defined as 50%. No credit is given for the 10-12 hours a day that man is out of the house doing work. Also, no credit is given for "man work".......you're only given credit for doing the things that she considers "her" tasks that take work load off of her. The newest concept I see…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:56 PM
2

No, that happens in trial. But what he may do is give you an indication which way he may lean if he's forced to rule on it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 03:09 PM
1

What's your specific issue? Do you need assistance in budgeting? Are you looking for reminders on when to pay things?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 02:56 PM
1

You never thought you'd have to pay your own bills?? Assuming that you're in the position financially to cover all your bills every month, I'd suggest putting as much as you can on autopay. I have almost everything on autopay, with the exception being the credit card I use daily (I pay it in full every month, but I want to see the bill before it gets paid.)
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 02:51 PM
2

Not much, to be honest. Your attorney and hers will tell the judge what you're still missing on. The judge may give you some guidance if one of you is being unreasonable, but he's unlikely to rule on anything. It's basically a check in to see why you can't settle before wasting the courts time and resources.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 02:48 PM
1

Don’t be naive. This post is from a woman, trying to get a men’s group frothy over TS so she can repost it in r/mommit or r/breakingmom.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 11:06 PM
4

No.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:47 PM
13

Move on, dear. Most men aren’t nearly as worked up about Swift as TikTok has led you to believe.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:15 PM
12

My thoughts are that this is the single most obvious troll I’ve seen in a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:12 PM
5

Oh yes. She filed a false TPO, and got me removed from the house. We ended up in mediation after 6 months, but it took over 13 hours. After we finally reached an agreement, she took me back to court twice to try to modify it. She attempted to have me fired from my job. Once she got all of our mutual friends to turn on me, she went after my friends and family.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:06 PM
12

The family turns almost immediately. In my case, her friends were highly toxic and played an active role in our divorce. The second three divorce process began, their husbands were told I was off limits and was to be shunned. One guy even told me his wife threatened him with his own divorce if he spoke to me again.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 11:53 AM
4

It's not misspelled. There is a r/divorce sub. This sub, with it's _men designation, is meant exclusively for men. "Divorced Men" are technically.....men who are divorced. Since this sub is for men that are divorced, divorcing, or contemplating divorce, your name change is as irrational as you think the current one is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:52 PM
9

I feel for guys like that. It's great to have hope and all, but once she's thrown you out and filed, it's over. Oh, she'll tell you it's not over, hoping to keep you on the hook emotionally so she can take advantage of you in the property settlement. He's hoping he figures this out before he signs anything.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 06:16 PM
17

When I hear you say that she's seeing a therapist and she's getting weird, I immediately think that you've got some false claims of "violence and abuse" coming. If you think it will never happen to you, allow me to introduce you to dozens of men, myself included, that thought that as well. Here are some tips: Don't move out. Once you move out, you'll never move back in and you'll rarely see your kids. There are some important caveats to this: If she becomes violent, leave immediately. In this ca…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 02:25 PM
15

If you didn't fight the temporary order and it was made permanent, there's not a whole lot you can do. Bluntly, the courts may not drop it, even if she asks for it to be dropped. For other men reading this: If you ever get a restraining order, you need to take is seriously. You need an attorney immediately, and you need to fight. The system is rigged against us as it is, and you can't assume that these things will just go away.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 06:03 PM
15

Oh lord, is it time for the weekly red pill post? My man doesn’t even make it three years in his marriage, and thinks $15k is a lot of money!! lol. Somebody needs to take the bass out of his voice.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 12:00 PM
5

I'm not sure you're getting it. The risk isn't that she "isn't happy about you dating". The risk is, given her unhappiness about you dating while still married and living in the house with her, that she decides to fight.......for everything. Not saying she'll get it, but she'll likely try. And it will cost you thousands. You're also assuming that there's gaggles of attractive, horny women willing to look past the "I'm still married and living with my wife,.....but we're divorcing" story just for…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 06:21 PM
13

If your wife finds out, your "amicable" relationship will sour very.....very quickly. Plus, depending on the state, it could give her grounds for adultery. You'd be a fool to date before your divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 05:32 PM
2

Oh lord. Those are the crazy ones. I once had a woman I'd been talking to for 30 minutes offer to screw me in the staircase of a rooftop bar. I politely declined and offered to buy her some appetizers instead...........so she went into the parking lot and flattened the tires on the car she thought was mine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 05:32 PM
7

You just need to be aware that youre taking a guess as to how successful your post-divorce dating world will be. If that's your only issue with your current marriage, I'd think long and hard. Oh, and don't cheat. That's a dick move.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 03:24 PM
10

Only you can decide if the lack of sex is enough reason for you to leave. The one thing you have to consider is your chances of ACTUALLY having more sex as a single man. And that's going to vary wildly. Some seem to find that there are plenty of women willing to go at it. For others (most, I'd argue) they realize that dating sucks and they end up having less sex than they did when they were married. A friend and I got divorced about the same time. I found it relatively easy to date and have sex,…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 03:05 PM
12

No kids and no property? LOL, she isn't going to get $71K for a 4 year marriage. At best, she'd get an even split. Tell her to get an attorney, and ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 07:07 PM
4

It's likely that you got the best deal you were going to get relative to the amount of money you had to fight with. Suing him isn't going to fix that, and will cost you tens of thousands of dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:32 PM
6

Wait.....you're wanting to sue your lawyer for a settlement that you ultimately agreed to? Suing a lawyer rarely goes well. Sounds like you're just looking for someone to blame.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:23 PM
12

A little tough love here: This woman is continuing to fuck around with this guy, and likely others. You're so codependent that you're struggling to make a clean mental break. The AP is dangerous and you need to treat him as a threat. The fact that your partner is continuing to keep this guy in her life is equally as dangerous and you need to treat her as a threat. Get a restraining order against him. Make sure your children are included.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:00 PM
29

Most of the time, the "just a friend" guy is just waiting for his chance to stick his dick in your wife, and your wife is one bad decision away from letting him.....
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 03:13 PM
15

As I told my ex wife: “if all I get out of you is a clean house once a week and sex once a month, it would be cheaper to get a maid and a hooker.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 03:32 PM
2

Or ever, sir. Ask yourself….why now? Why’s she coming back? And why do you have to take her. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to put yourself back in the same situation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:55 PM
2

When you got done with that conversation…..she went back to her boyfriend
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:37 PM
0

Right…..tell that to your ex wife, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:32 PM
12

I want to be wrong about what I’m going to tell you. I, too, was the husband that wanted to be fair. You need to get the forensic accountant. I’d go back at least a decade. You’ll either find that she’s hidden money, or that she had decades of outrageous spending habits that’s put you in this situation. Your wife is going to change. Her friends and family will encourage her to treat you like a piggy bank. Before this is over, she’s likely going to try to take you for everything you’re worth. Her…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:29 PM
4

Good luck to you, brother. Between your blind faith and your willingness to “forgive”, you’re in for a tough life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:18 PM
2

To be clear, it sounds like you’re saying that she cheated on you while you were legally married, but you’re considering taking her back because she’s now reconsidering your religion and your marriage isn’t annulled in the eyes of the church? Am I on track? Before you go any further down this path I think you ought to explore the toxic and hypocritical stance the Catholics have on marriage and sexuality. Despite any of your religious compunctions, this woman cheated on you and is now shacked up …
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 12:36 PM
21

My man, stop while you’re behind. Unfollow all her socials. Stop trying to compare yourself to the new guys. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 10:02 AM
3

Those two aren't mutually exclusive..... One is worse. In most states, you'll be assumed the father until you PROVE that you aren't. In many places she can just add your name to the birth certificate.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 12:58 PM
3

I'd definitely talk to an attorney. Most of those clauses nowadays are "upon cohabitation" rather than marriage, because most ex's are perfectly happy to keep that check rolling in.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 10:59 PM
3

It might. I would absolutely consult an attorney. You'll have to be able to prove they're living together.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 10:27 PM
1

If you cannot trust her, then you should not allow her a second of time she isn't given by the courts. And yes, if you grant her extra time, then go to court and say you don't trust her, she will absolutely use that against you. No, you won't be held in contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 08:27 PM
2

Did you own these dogs prior to the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:42 AM
2

Dogs are property. Assuming you’re the one that adopted them, and it’s your name on the adoption papers, they’re your property.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:38 AM
4

"Controlling" will morph into "abusive" shortly. It's all in the playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 08:21 PM
3

Wait....you forgot that she'll self-diagnose him as a "narcissist" and then claims he was "abusive".
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 05:25 PM
7

Yes......get out now. She's gone down the millennial rabbit hole: blaming ADHD for everything, the pronouns. She's gotten from you what she wants, and now she wants to move on. Here's a little tough love: pull your head out of your ass and get back to work full time. She IS likely going to get half of the house, but no judge will give you alimony if you're working part time and capable of working full time. Don't let her trick you into a "separation". Get an attorney and get a full divorce immed…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 02:12 PM
3

Given that she is still married in another country, I'd file for an annulment, claiming that you didn't know about this at the time of your marriage. That would at least get you off the hook for alimony. Talk to a local attorney, but bigamy is typically grounds for annulment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:43 PM
2

Given his mindset, I'd say he's well on his way to a no-marriage, child-free life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:20 PM
3

Well, mentally.....that's what you're doing, isn't it? I'm not talking about a physical confrontation. Good luck to you, I guess. You're putting so much work into protecting yourself from women you're likely going to run them all off.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:19 PM
6

I'm gonna be honest with you, friend. I went through your postings. You're pretty "Red Pill" for a young guy with no prospects for a woman at the moment. Something else for you to consider. Prenups and state laws can only protect you so much. Let's say you find that uber-conservative, stay-at-home-and-take-care-of-the-kids type of woman. No matter how good your prenup is, you're still going to have to support her. Youre still going to provide her with housing. You're still going to pay a LOT of …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:06 PM
1

You're 22 years old, no girlfriend, no fiancé.......and yet you're researching states that will be the most advantageous to you when you get divorced? It's good to practice a bit of proactive self defense, but you're taking it way too far. The best thing you can do to protect yourself is pick the right woman. Spend time......years with her before getting engaged. Live with her. See her in good times and bad. Don't commit until you've seen her in every environment. Don't rush into marriage. I'd a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 01:40 PM
25

My man, consider yourself fortunate. Most toxic women are well aware of how toxic they are, and are adept at hiding it. This one is oblivious, and showed her true colors immediately. Ghost her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 01:13 PM
18

Nesting, unless its very........very short term, is an absolute nightmare. You have two parents that are never settled, always living in someone else's space, and can't move on from the marriage. And while people do it "for the kids", the ONLY thing that doesn't change for the kids every week is the physical space they live in. You wife is assuming that you'll move out, keep paying the mortgage, and that she and the kids will continue on their comfortable lives. I would talk to an attorney immed…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:35 PM
5

Do you hold a job? Have you ever been to treatment for a drug or alcohol addiction?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 09:51 PM
18

6 months and she already wants to "take a break"? My man, I'd just go get the attorney and end it. The longer you stay, the more alimony she's going to get.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 01:22 PM
6

I know that story, brother. My ex would tell her friends stories about me, in order to make herself seem like a "victim". After awhile, she started believing the stories. One night, she started "reminding" me about all the times I had hit her. The only problem? I've never laid a hand on a woman in my life. Never even threatened it. But there we were, with her telling me about how often I did it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 08:59 PM
15

If you're fighting daily with a woman you've only been married to for a year, you need to get out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:01 PM
1

Banking in the US isn't poor. Where do you guys get this stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:01 PM
29

I'll just guess that she's fallen into the same trap that most women have. She initiated the divorce, falling for the rom-com version of marriage she's seen on tv, movies and social media, that has made her believe that she can "do better". She absorbs social media dog-whistles like "weaponized incompetence", red flags, "If he wanted to he would".......... After she asks for divorce, the financial realities of divorce sink in. She likely assumed that her life would remain unchanged.....financial…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:21 PM
16

It's all perfectly normal. If I were you, I'd suggest that you unfollow her on all social media, and stop checking up on her. It only serves to make you miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 02:45 PM
31

You have to come to the realization that you'll never win these types of arguments, and its better to structure your responses around your end goal, rather than taking shots over prior indiscretions. Saying something like "since you were withholding her" is only going to set her off, and you know it. Here's how I'd phrase it: Her: I want Christmas this year You: It is my Christmas this year. I might be willing to exchange Christmas is you let me have her for thanksgiving this year. Her: I've alr…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 02:41 PM
4

I'm guessing that you had a number of requests, and most of them weren't granted? The expectation is that you pay her immediately. Playing games hasn't worked for you so far, and you want to keep trying?
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 02:30 PM
16

She's gay. She's not interested in performing one of the critical acts of being a married couple. What's happened is that she's realized the financial impact of getting divorced, so she's decided to stay married and allow you to assist in financing her lifestyle while she explores.......being gay. It's not her fault that she's gay. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. That said, you shouldn't have to stay in a relationship with someone that doesn't provide for your needs.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 02:34 PM
20

My man, don't close that door. Slam it. Then, burn down the house. Don't wait around for your ex to come back to you after she realizes she can't do any better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 06:33 PM
34

The best ones are the ones that get absorbed in the "wife strike" and other husband-hating content. That app is ruining a lot of relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 04:14 PM
5

I wouldn’t even involve my lawyer I’d simply tell her to fuck off. With all due respect, that is terrible advice. This woman has filed a petition with the court. If he doesn't reply to this petition, and just tells his wife to "fuck off", he will lose on default judgement. You can't simply ignore a filing like this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 02:18 PM
1

How do you define “excessive”? How in the hell do you think you’d enforce that?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 08:32 PM
7

Trying to regulate morality in a parenting plan rarely works. Lets think about your alcohol limitation for a minute. Does that include parties and family events? Does that include restaurants? What about other people's houses? What are you going to do if a future woman in your life likes to have an occasional glass of wine? Clauses like these survive for the duration of your parenting plan, and can't be changed without total agreement or a change in circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 06:01 PM
1

How new is this relationship? With all due respect, I’d advise maintaining a healthy objectivity to this relationship if she’s got a number of exs and hookups in her DMs on the regular.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 01:39 PM
1

When you mention guy’s messaging her on socials…..explain that more. Is she making thirst traps?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 01:16 PM
1

It's not nearly as simple as you think it is. Not only do you have to get the woman to agree to it up front, but time and unforeseen circumstances can make a prenup easily debatable. When both parties start out with nothing, then spend 20 years amassing wealth together, any attorney will tell you that that prenup will be thrown out. Read the entirety of what I typed again, before you respond. I've actually been through it, friend. I'm not just googling ad add for an attorney. Bitcoin guy........…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 06:35 PM
1

Please tell me your not an attorney……
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 09:03 AM
2

Well yes, but that doesn't make them a "simp", or deserving of lip from this prick.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 08:08 PM
10

I have, sweetheart. And, contrary to your beliefs, premarital assets can be commingled and become marital assets. Prenups are largely beneficial in making sure that doesn't happen. You just......don't get it. No matter how strong your prenup, you aren't going to walk away from a long term marriage and give your ex nothing. It simply doesn't happen. And, unless you're marrying an absolute idiot, she's not going to agree to that anyway. The alpha male thing may work on your teenaged friends, but t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 03:08 PM
15

That's what you don't understand, sweetheart. I can't do a prenup as a 25 year old man that prohibits my wife from benefiting from wealth and asset accumulation DURING the marriage. She's going to have some level of rights to those assets. Prenups work better when you're protecting wealth that you already had prior to the marriage. I get it.....you're bored and you're trying to bolster your "alpha male" persona. But you're talking about something you simply don't understand.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:56 PM
14

Don't be a cunt, my man. There's no need to come her and insult men who didn't see the need for a prenup. Hell, even with a prenup, you aren't necessarily protected. Prenups don't do much for first marriages, where the wealth and asset generation is done during the marriage. It also does nothing to protect against child support. And.....they can be litigated, successfully in longer divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:20 PM
1

No court is going to waste time on this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 01:30 PM
0

I mean…..what are you expecting to fight about? How long were you married? Do you have any assets? Hell, you don’t even own a house.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 08:58 AM
0

There's no doubt that alimony can be unfair in some jurisdictions. But to compare it to slavery in order to have it outlawed is just silly, and subtracts from legitimate arguments against it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 02:19 PM
0

I'm sorry, friend, but that's really all the conversation that question merits. Even with unlimited funds, no court in this country is going to rule that paying alimony is akin to "indentured servitude". Alimony sucks. I get that. But when you get out of a long term marriage with a SAHM, you're going to pay it. Let's not get all red pill and liken it to being a slave.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 02:01 PM
0

Lol…..nope.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 09:52 AM
13

$1,000 a month to lose a few pounds is ridiculous. And bluntly, unless she changes her eating habits, she'll gain all the weight back once she goes off of it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 02:54 PM
1

It’s relative.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:14 AM
13

Let's face it......if you're dating a woman in her 30s or higher, she's going to have had a significant number of sexual partners. It is a bit concerning that she admits to seeking validation through sexual conquest. What's she going to do when she hits the 7 year itch? What's she going to do when she hits her midlife crisis? As with any new relationship, take it slow. Really slow. Years slow. Don't rush back into marriage. See how she fights. She how she reacts when things aren't good in her li…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 06:45 PM
2

The topic of "abandonment" is grossly misunderstood, even by some attorneys. Here's the reality: if you are in process of a divorce or separation, and you are continuing to honor your financial obligation to pay the bills on the house, no judge is going to agree that you abandoned the house. Talk to your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 02:23 PM
1

You said that filing first puts you at an advantage, and that’s simply incorrect. It’s a common misconception.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 04:58 PM
1

Been through it twice, friend. You’re spouting internet rumor, not fact.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 04:55 PM
2

Friend, with all due respect, that’s a theory on paper that simply doesn’t survive in court. There are too many loopholes. And it only applies in community property states, and it only applies to assets owned prior to marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:57 PM
1

The whole point of the divorce is to untangle the common ownership in assets. No one goes through divorce and continues to share assets, unless it’s an active business run by both parties. B
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:50 PM
3

Bear in mind that you hear some terrible advice for most people, including many in this group. For a short term marriage where you owned the house before you met, keeping the house in your name, and keeping your finances completely separate can protect you. The trick is you have to be able to prove that her money never went to the house. For a longer marriage? It’s irrelevant. She’s gonna get half the equity. If it’s in your name alone it may slow her down, but more like a speed bump.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:25 PM
3

The one who “strikes first” doesn’t control the speed, and “first word” means nothing. You’ve watched too much tv. Hell, most divorces are settled in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:17 PM
2

“Striking first” does not give you any advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:40 PM
38

Something I tell all men: if your wife is constantly threatening to leave, oblige her. Divorce shouldn't be a threat every time they're unhappy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 06:45 PM
2

I'm assuming she owns a car, which she is keeping as part of this divorce? If she asks for half of your insurance proceeds, then ask for her car to be sold and split the equity remaining in it. That's more than fair and will shut her up.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 02:17 PM
8

God, I'd likely have a panic attack if my ex showed back up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 08:49 PM
2

A TPO is typically free or very low cost, and would at least put a temporary stop to the harassment. You could handle the court pro-se, and present your evidence to the judge. That's the only way to stop it, and I would absolutely go down that path.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 08:37 PM
2

Wishful thinking, my man. Child support can be recalculated at any time until that child is emancipated. It will depend on the state for alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 05:09 PM
10

Extracurricular activities are typically split outside of child support. That said, your temp parenting plan should specify exactly how these are handled, and who gets to decide what they participate in.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 03:49 PM
10

Turn your question around, friend: should I be considered un-datable because initiated my last divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 01:23 PM
1

Yeah, but all she has to do is convince a judge. And that’s real……real easy. Especially if they move for school or residency.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:56 AM
3

I was very clearly speaking about alimony......
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 02:06 PM
3

How do you figure? Wait until after you get your MD, then this woman will go to court, conveniently forget about all the times she told you she wanted an older man to buy her a house in Cape Cod, and tell the judge about all the years she spent "support you through med school".....only to get dumped right when the payoff was to happen. She'd cream him in court.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:30 PM
9

A woman telling you after a year of marriage that she'd rather find an old man to finance her lifestyle is a giant, massive, waving red flag. Get out of this relationship now. Do not wait until you are done with school, and do not listen to her idiot father.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:02 PM
9

A terrible bit of advice. If you divorce AFTER you get your MD, you'll be paying her alimony for the rest of her life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:00 PM
5

Well, they aren't just complaints. Taking the only car from the person that actually has a job is pretty ridiculous. Taking the kids away makes her a truly awful person. That said, she's legally within her rights to do it, as would you be. You need to get an attorney ASAP. You need someone to advise you on your rights as a separated parent and to protect your relationship with your children.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 12:34 PM
15

Women convince themselves and their friends that they have some sort of "right" to the family home. What's sad is how many men fall for it. Get an attorney. Watch for her to go ballistic if you don't move on her deadline.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:50 PM
29

Read this part numerous times: she has absolutely, positively no right to force you out of your own home. It is just as much your home as it is hers. Generally, you would split the equity in the house 50/50. Either you would sell the house to get the equity, or one party would buy the other party out of their portion of the equity. You need an attorney. Immediately. Once your wife starts trying to "force" you out of anything, the time for working together is over.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:33 PM
17

You're doing the right thing. Putting yourself in a situation where you will be surrounded by her affair co-conspirators or even her affair partner would end badly, and you have the self-restraint to avoid that. She's going to use it against you no matter what you do, so better that you stay away.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 12:57 PM
3

Kids at that age are difficult on the phone. You'll have a lot of nights like that. I used to find fun pictures of puppies on my computer and show them to my kids just to warm them up to the idea.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 01:05 PM
1

Go for 50? Absolutely. Do a 2-2-3? Absolute fucking chaos for that child.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 01:03 PM
1

Friend, this is your new normal. The second a woman says she wants a "break", what she really means is that she's found another guy and she wants to fuck him. If you forgive her, she'll do it again. Get an attorney and file. Fight for your kids. Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 09:22 PM
4

My brother, the grey rock IS the goal. It's not about hate, it's about indifference. If your attitude about her never changes, then you've done it right.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:50 PM
3

Well, you could have your attorney write her a letter, then take her to court with a motion to compel. It will likely cost you $3-5000. But seriously, do you really care? 2 years later, are you really keeping up with her so much that her having the same name is worth all that trouble?
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 07:31 PM
9

Of course she does. Social media for the win. Get ready my man. This will get bad for you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 07:25 PM
13

I'm not sure if it has a name, but let me ask you this: does she watch a lot of TikTok? On TikTok, a woman is led to believe that any mildly uncomfortable situation she experiences should be labeled "abuse". If you don't have an attorney, get one immediately. Sounds like she's setting you up to make false claims of abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 06:54 PM
7

They’re rock. Just dump them and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 11:12 PM
1

My man, you simply have to stop giving advice.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 06:21 PM
3

It sucks, but it's the name of the game. Without a court order, you can't force your wife to reply. And bluntly, why would she? You're living separately, you're paying her money every month. God help you if you're still paying for her to live in the family home. She has very little motivation to work with you now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:24 PM
2

If you want to push this along, and they aren't responding, then your attorney will need to file documents with the courts to compel them to answer. So, you're going to have to pay to move it forward.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 01:04 PM
2

Incorrect. But what would I know…..with a degree in finance and 25 years in banking, plus a divorce under my belt? Stop while you’re behind.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 02:21 AM
3

In the vernacular used in divorces, banking and general finance, equity is considered the current value of the home less debt.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 11:22 PM
2

Equity is determined off of appraised value when the house isn't sold.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 07:01 PM
7

To be fair, I'm not sure how that compares to this guy being an alcoholic and drug addict for 22 years.....
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 01:34 PM
21

Of course, that not what I said, what I am saying is this Your wife is going to be seen as the victim here, by everyone but you. Most of us will wonder why it took her so long to leave you in the first place Given that most addicts try to stop multiple times before they actually stop, everyone is going to be understanding if she is doubtful after......22 fucking years of addiction and broken promises. You need to approach this with humility. You can still fight for your rights, but don't come at…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 01:33 PM
19

My man…..it took you 22 YEARS to beat your addictions. You’re expecting her to get over the trauma you caused in less than one. You are, indeed, playing the victim. Good luck to you. Oh…..don’t write the judge a response to something you weren’t supposed to see in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 12:12 PM
21

I gotta be honest man…..you spent 20 years addicted to drugs and alcohol, and only quit the day she finally had enough. I’d try to find a little humility……you’re definitely not the victim here.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 12:05 PM
16

I'm going to disagree with large swaths of this. The first thing you have to understand about a divorce is.......you aren't in complete control. If your spouse wants to delay, you can't really stop them. If you spouse wants to file false reports, you can't stop them. If your spouse wants to fight over every cup in the cupboard, you really can't stop them. If your spouse wants to litigate rather than mediate, you can't stop them. None of that is your attorneys fault. Cheap attorneys can end up co…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 01:03 PM
9

I was on a mild dose of zoloft for awhile, due to panic attacks caused by my wife's constant attacks, criticisms and fighting. I got off of it shortly after the divorce and I've never been on it again. Don't hesitate to use it if you need it. Don't tell her about it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 09:16 PM
3

Everyone stuggles with mental health, especially those that have seen combat in service to our country. Unless you are violent and a risk to the child, no judge is going hold those struggles against you. Your ex already shot herself in the foot by admitting to her true designs, so she's working from a hole as it is. Thank you for your service to our country.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 07:01 PM
22

It's pretty common. She had it in her head that she was going to come out on top financially in this divorce. That's not happening, so she's assigned blame for that on her attorney and is switching to a new one. Expect her to renegotiate everything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 12:25 PM
2

$200k in total just to change a custody agreement? That seems really high. Not impossible, but high. What's she wanting to change?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 03:00 PM
1

Interesting. But I'm guessing this is something that she would have to take you back to court to get?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 02:00 PM
1

In alimony or child support?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 01:53 PM
1

Once alimony is set.....it is set. Any job you get AFTER you divorce (unless you intentionally staying underemployed) will have no effect.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 12:37 PM
3

It was diagnosed before me. She was diagnosed, but then she claimed that the dr was wrong. It's common with personality disorders like this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 06:53 PM
10

The absolute key is to drop the anger, and treat this like a business relationship. Answer the pertinent questions in the coparenting app. If she contacts you any other way, have your attorney send her a letter reminding her to keep EVERYTHING in the app. Once any conversations veers off of the care of your daughter, stop responding. But, you need all of this in the app in order to prove that you're effectively coparenting without submitting to her abuse. Don't give up 50/50. If you look at the …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 04:13 PM
13

Unless your parenting plan specifically states that she must ok the meet, I'd tell her to fuck off and introduce your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:22 PM
6

Who's "she"? In my case, my ex was actually diagnosed BPD, even though she didn't believe the diagnosis.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:39 PM
10

Are you still financing her lifestyle in any way? Are you still paying on a shared apartment / house? Is she getting money from you from the child that's in excess of what she gets in the final agreement? Many women slow WAY down on the process once they realize the financial implications of divorce. If you're still giving her money, she's not likely to change that until you force her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 02:38 PM
4

There are several moderators. Several of them are men. The only ones I've ever interacted with are men.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 07:13 PM
47

I looked at your post. That’s the same mod that has told me both publicly and privately that he had several members reporting almost every post I make and that he’s actively waiting for me to break the rules so he can ban me……. I mean, that post was going to get you banned. It would get you banned in most subs. I’ve taken a different tact in that sub for a very good reason. That’s the easiest to find divorce sub on Reddit, and most men having marital issues find it first. Their posts get downvot…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 11:28 AM
5

Not necessarily. Many servers with work with you on a specific time and place.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:42 AM
18

I wasn't going to go through my phone and delete thousands of pictures, including many with my children. Instead, I used the feature on the iPhone that keeps that person from being featured on your memories. On any picture of your wife, click the symbol in the upper right corner<Remove From Featured Photos. The phone will do the rest. The pictures are still there, but they won't pop up in memories.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 12:56 PM
5

Have you already agreed to this? If you haven’t, don’t. She will control your dating life until your youngest kid is out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 11:19 AM
2

Hear me out………archery.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:23 PM
8

Hear me out………archery.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:23 PM
20

My man.....you can't let her keep the house with $400k in equity if you're still going to have to pay her that kind of alimony. Stop trying to be nice. The house gets sold.....full stop. Everything else gets split FAIRLY. Don't let her con you into starting your negotiations in the middle and making it worse from there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:42 PM
5

First off, find their passports and put them in a safe place. And by safe place, I mean a place she'll never find. How old are the kids? If they're older, the courts will consider their wishes in a divorce. Has she ever done anything to them that has risen to the level of abuse with police involvement?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:37 PM
6

Interesting. I assumed TikTok because that exact toxic culture you describe in her family runs rampant on that app.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:34 PM
5

Let me guess......she spends a whole lot of time on TikTok?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:02 PM
32

I get that you feel bad about it, but you absolutely, positively need to go through with this. She's clearly snapped, and if she's already threatening to claim false DV, you could end up in jail or with a TPO. Chalk this up to "I made a giant mistake" and protect yourself. Don't be alone with her. Change the locks. Don't talk to her about anything unless its related to the divorce. She'll get nothing out of a 4 day marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:42 PM
4

You’re in a marriage with a woman that operates with ultimatums and deadlines. She sounds tedious.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 01:09 PM
3

File. File in Winconsin today. Il is infamously harsh on men in divorce, both in alimony and child custody.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 12:19 PM
8

A couple of thoughts: If you split, your wife will get to keep ALL of her inheritance AND get half of your shared assets, including your retirement. Attorney's aren't magical. Unless you left evidence of your previous affairs / escorts, they aren't going to find it. Here's hoping you were silly enough to pay for a hooker with a credit card. If there is evidence.....get rid of it. Push her for counseling. No sex in a decade is outrageous. Do you have any indication that she's cheating on you? It'…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 01:35 PM
3

If you’re giving her the house, then it would fall in her to maintain the house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 11:55 AM
14

My god, man…..why would you interject yourself in a distant relatives divorce? Tell them you wish the best for both of them, but you don’t want to hear details or be involved. Then, you and the wife need to mind your business.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:03 PM
2

Nah.....that's an audit waiting to happen. That's not going to be considered an arms length transaction .
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 03:44 PM
14

Many women believe that alimony is meant to maintain their financial lifestyle post divorce. Unless we're talking about a very long marriage, that simply isn't the case.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:55 PM
3

Nope……..wrong path, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 12:31 PM
3

Ask your child's pediatrician. Typically, they can either do it through their associated lab, or tell you where to go.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 02:03 PM
2

Here's the best advice I can give: Remember in mediation that you're paying a massive amount per hour. Before you start fighting over the little things (like furniture, dishes and the like) think about what's it's going to cost in legal fees vs what it will cost to replace.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 04:06 PM
1

If she assaults you.....you leave, then you call 911. Video recording is superior, in every single way, to audio only recording. Video picks up hand gestures, punches, facial expressions, and other non-verbal threats. The second it get physical, you should leave anyway. Once you've left, it doesn't matter if you have to stop recording. Video saved my ass in ways no audio recording ever could have.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 08:33 PM
1

Right, but it's more than that. You say one thing, and then act in exact contradiction to your own mantra. No one believes you because your actions betray your thoughts. And not just a little bit.......a lot. And if I had to guess, you were just as dramatic about your capitalistic lifestyle as you are about your "I'm an outsider" view of yourself today. I work in real estate finance.....yet I don't run around wearing a Patagonia vest and bragging about my accommodations at the Masters. I also do…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:53 PM
1

I'm having a hard time believing you were as committed to your live-in-the-trees lifestyle as you claim if you so readily "lived your neo liberal" lifestyle and "bragged about your consumerism and corporate conquests. Actions speak louder than words. Sounds like she was led to believe you were just a normal corporate guy that liked hiking.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:45 PM
1

Not really friend. Your question is "how do you feel about the patrichary?" It's a mindless, open ended question that not one single person has answered yet. And your view of the topic is skewed by your view of yourself as an outsider that has mastered capitalism yet despises it......using all the buzz words and terms you expect. Your war isn't in defense of the patrichary. Bluntly, it sounds like you lost control of your life and family, and now need to place blame on feminism, woke-ness, capit…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:39 PM
4

So you built a certain life for your family, altered your views, attempted to completely modify everyone's life in order to suit your revised view of society, then reacted with contempt and incredulity when your wife, your kids and the courts decided to maintain the status quo? Out of curiosity, are you a prepper, or did they assume that?
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:25 PM
3

The post you replied to above explains it pretty succinctly.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 01:44 PM
1

Again, your perspective is so tainted I'm not sure a rational answer would make any sense to you. While we're all guilty of an occasional hypocritical act, I'd be seriously reevaluating myself if I could type that may contradictions in a single post. I stopped wearing masks a long time ago, and I stopped giving a fuck about what others think about me and my successes (and failures) in life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 01:42 PM
8

That's not what I said, dear. It's the OP prerogative if he wants to be like that or not. But as he mentions that he has some interest in dating, I thought it appropriate to point out that he's a walking red-pill contradiction. Sometimes you don't help people by blindly agreeing with them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 01:34 PM
1

You email it to them from your phone…..
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 12:31 PM
6

Are you the OP posting from an alt-account, or did you just awkwardly phrase that? It's hard to logically address the point the OP thought he was making without digesting the context in which he presents it. I'm not so certain his issues is "feminists" trying to " dismember the patriarchy" so much as he holds a dystopian view of the world and a distorted view of self. The hypocrisy found in that single post alone probably makes is fairly difficult for him *(you) to view the world rationally.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 12:16 PM
36

Let me walk you through your own post: You're anti-capitalist and anti-consumerism, but you brag about stacking paper and retiring early. You're wanting to live a simple life and be "one with mother earth", but you're living in an urban area. This sentence, that doesn't display one lick of "humility": I'll say with humility that I'm hyper intelligent - logical, intrapersonal, interpersonal, existential, kinetic, spatial The fact that you used the phrase "Top G" unironically. Dear god, man, that'…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 12:04 PM
1

The “digital recorder” advice was outdated in the 90s. Use your phone. Every phone today is capable of both video and audio recording. And since we all have our phones on us all the time, she’d be much less suspicious.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 10:52 AM
1

It's my understanding that they aren't very effective, but it's going to greatly depend on the situation in which you're attempting to apply it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 01:12 PM
5

Bro, if this is your girlfriend……run
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:36 AM
3

My god, this poor man needs to run for the hills. Dear, how do you tell if ANY man is over his ex? It's been 4 fucking years, and your worried about what he did two years before he met you? ETA: look at this woman's history. She's insane.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 06:14 PM
2

Tie breakers: what happens when you disagree about something. Make sure it doesn't default to her. Expenses: make sure that you have a say about every dollar that comes out of your pocket. Things like activities that cost money should have joint decision making. If you're paying alimony, make sure it ceases immediately upon remarriage or cohabitation. Many standard documents leave out cohabitation. Avoid "morality clauses" that state you can't have a friend spend the night. It might seem ok now,…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 01:30 PM
6

I would absolutely, positively NOT sign until the funds have cleared.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 11:53 AM
10

That's fucking insane. I'd be willing to bet if it was your parenting time and you didn't answer, they'd happily call mom. I'd have your attorney add to the temporary custody order that either parent can pick up in the event of an emergency or sickness.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 02:38 PM
7

Been there, done that. I lost almost $100k of my equity in my house because my 2nd wife (4 year marriage) demanded that I put her name on the deed. She never contributed a dime.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 02:28 PM
5

It does seem like a sneaky way to debate the judge without involving your counsel. I'm sure the judge will see right through it. Amazing how much she thinks she's owed after a 3 year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 02:14 PM
1

My man, have you even been with a woman? I can promise you that there’s nothing “better” about staying with a woman who’s cheating on you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:43 AM
45

Never dig a meal out of the trash. The only reason this woman is coming after you now 1)jealousy and 2)her own relationship falling apart. If you take her back, it will just be a matter of time before she cheats again, or this other guy starts coming back around. You need to move on. Stop talking to her about your social lives. Keep contact about the kids only.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 02:36 PM
2

He did. Hours ago.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 04:44 PM
2

Glad you found your way over here. The regular divorce sub is dominated by women and thread like this get downvoted and buried.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:37 PM
2

Yup.....I'm pretty sure that was me. And it's true. 50/50 is typically the BEST a man can do and the worst a woman will accept.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 03:30 PM
21

The important take on this is that a woman can marry you, stick around for six fucking months, and take MORE than half of your shit. Yeah, it's unusual, but it clearly does happen. Don't assume the next woman "isn't like that". She very well may be. And, you won't know it until it's too late. Stay single or, at the very least, get an absolutely rock solid prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:38 PM
6

Your kids need a father. An active father. Don't leave relationships you have for someone that may or may not work out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 08:19 PM
4

When you say you would "miss your family", are you talking about kids, or just the rest of your family? If the former, I'd say this: I about went broke twice fighting to stay actively involved in my children's lives. I can't imagine handling it any other way, or ruining their lives to take off with the latest fling that probably won't last. If the latter: moving away from your larger family can be scary, but rewarding. I moved away from my hometown about 25 years ago. I still see my family often…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 07:24 PM
5

Honestly, it seems really……really reasonable so far.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 10:31 AM
1

Given that the OP stated the amount in $, not euros, it didn’t seem important.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 04:49 PM
3

Ummm.....two weeks notice is when you quit, not when you're fired. If you've watched the news on the recent tech layoffs, then happen quick and take effect immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 12:59 PM
1

I've found that the gender of the therapist doesn't matter much. I had a great male therapist, and I had a great female one as well. After 5 sessions, your therapist should be giving you some help, beyond just listening. I'd keep in mind that "Cs still get degrees", and a LCSW has much less training than an EdD or a PhD. If she isn't helping you, I'd move on.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 12:54 PM
9

Given most courts bias against fathers? Yes, unfortunately. That shouldn't keep you from fighting, though.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 03:36 PM
10

Yeah, she's gonna claim that you're too busy to care for the kids. She'll also claim that she does "all the work" in the household, despite reality. That folder is in the house? What folder...........
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 03:33 PM
12

It can be hard to play hardball when kids are involved. If the laws in your state require them to be with the mother, then you'll have to live with that Cutting off all financial support will likely just result in you getting a temporary order against you for financial support. Many attorneys, like your wife's, like to use a dramatic opening offer as a negotiating tactic. Obviously, you can't pay more than you make. Your attorney will know that. I wouldn't overreact to their initial offer, as yo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 03:37 PM
9

"Everyone agrees with me". Yup, I got that one too. It's like they are given a script at birth.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 08:55 PM
60

The three words you need to know to talk to the perpetually online women nowadays: Gaslighting- If you disagree with me on anything, you're gaslighting me. Abuse- If you ever say something mean, you're verbally abusing me. If you ever tell me NO about spending money, you're financially abusing me. Narcissism- if you ever do anything that benefits yourself, you're a narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 08:28 PM
1

Yeah, it wasn't necessarily about there value, although I had some nice ones. For her, it was all about control.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:02 PM
6

That’s not the half of it. She insisted that she wanted my sons (from my first marriage) bunk bed….because I didn’t put it on the list. I just bought him another and let her have it. Then……when she realized it was impossible to move without full disassembly, she demanded that I take it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 11:09 PM
10

Have your attorney send hers a letter, demanding access to your house for personal items. Like most women, she assumes she should have possession of everything, including your stuff. Hell, my wife tried to claim that my neckties couldn't be removed from the home, because they weren't specifically on my "approved list".
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 08:56 PM
6

Do you have an attorney? What does he say? Is there anything prohibiting you from legally entering the home or being around her?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 08:49 PM
3

Jesus, take the wheel. He should be fine. Everything you mentioned above sounds reasonable. Here's a tip for you: don't involve yourself. You're the new girlfriend. You're not even sure on the details. The last thing this man needs if for you to interject yourself in this process. It doesn't involve you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 04:39 PM
1

Who's "he"? You're asking for someone else?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 04:30 PM
1

The quit-claim deed doesn't get her off the mortgage, just the deed. I'm gonna guess she's gonna want to be off both.....
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 03:58 PM
1

They’re not worthless, but it’s just not a cure all. If she’s harassing you, then you should consider it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 06:44 PM
37

First off......don't move out yet. Unless she is violent, or threatening false DV claims(as many do), you have the right to stay in the home you rent. Second, get a lawyer. A lawyer can give you a better idea of what you might actually have to pay, not just what she tells you to pay. Remember, she's the enemy now. Don't take her at her word.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 01:21 PM
3

Things get real when you put the paper in front of them. I've known a few men who've tried the post-nup and they all end up divorced. She's going to have to see a benefit to her in signing it, and given that you're currently financing her separate lifestyle, she's not going to see a benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 08:44 PM
5

You've been financing the lifestyle of a woman 15 years your junior, and she's been living separately for a year. She isn't going to sign a postnuptial. My guess? The second you bring it up she'll file for divorce and she'll tell you about the men she's been with over the last year.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 08:31 PM
4

My man......do you not have an attorney? You'd be a fool to go back to this house. You need to sell the house, arrange through the courts to retrieve your possessions (with witnesses), realize this is over and MOVE ON.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 02:18 PM
9

That sucks man. We've all been tempted to go back at one point or another. Fortunately, by the time my last wife put any effort into trying to get be back, she had done so many evil things like kidnapping my child and trying to get me arrested and fired that I wasn't falling for it. But.....I fell for it for years before that. Did she really go to that guy's house? That's fucking cold.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 02:47 PM
11

I would not do ANYTHING until you have a temp custody agreement. She’s already lied once, she’ll do it again. It’s very likely her attorney is in on it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 03:23 AM
23

Congrats. Her chances of appeal are slim, at best.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 08:54 PM
2

I'll tell you something that amazed me, since you're worried about your kids: my three children have THRIVED since my divorce. I have them on a 50/50 custody schedule. They've settled into their routines, they are happy and making straight As in school. Kids can thrive in a coparenting situation, and they typically see more stress in the marriage than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 07:31 PM
6

Your attorney should give you guidance there, but I always suggest to me that they start thing about self-preservation. I can't speak to your specific situation, but many of us experienced issues such as false claims of DV, bogus TPOs and things of the like. Keep your conversations with the ex professional. If she starts to get angry or violent, leave. Remember, even if she starts it, most cops and courts assume you are the aggressor. Don't agree to anything without consulting your attorney. Ass…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:01 PM
14

She can claim anything she wants. Without proof, though…….it’s nothing but claims. Be careful that she’s not baiting you into saying something untrue. She’s likely recording every conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 08:03 PM
12

Your attorney needs to get into court with a petition for temporary custody until such time as the divorce is finalized. That's the only way to fix this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 03:01 PM
5

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought they issued the TPO. The bar for those is pretty low, so if they didn't grant it, she must not have much of a case. Avoid all contact with her. Be aware that she may try to bait you into an angry confrontation to use against you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:22 PM
6

The key piece of advice I can give you is this: don't do anything without getting a lawyer. With kids, businesses and a wife that's underemployed, you have several risk point that an attorney can help you with.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:14 PM
5

So, the courts have acted.....they issued the TPO. The hearing is the next step, and three weeks is a pretty standard amount of time to hear the matter. In most states, if the court does not issues a longer term PO after the hearing, then the TPO is expunged from your records permanently. Fight the PO. There are repercussions to being under a PO besides just having to stay away from your ex. If you don't have an attorney, get one. Don't do ANYTHING to violate the TPO until you have the hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 04:11 PM
1

This is hard to follow, but I’m gathering that you’re still in your 20s? I get that this may seem like the end of the world, but you’ve got lots of life left to live.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 12:59 PM
2

What does your attorney say? If anything, she’s likely violating the restraining order in the divorcé petition.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 01:07 AM
1

Notice I didn’t mention the property split. But if she’s leaving him because his behavior, addiction and conviction are keeping him from working, he’s not gonna get alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 12:13 AM
1

Well, you could just move back in, but she’s likely to make more false claims. What does your attorney say?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 11:50 PM
1

Was the injunction resolved?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 11:46 PM
6

But you're on probation? And unemployed because of your conviction? And no car because of your conviction? With all due respect, you're going to be hard-pressed to get a sweetheart deal like you want with that kind of background.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 03:12 PM
1

What are you hoping to get, other than your half of the home equity and an equal split of the other assets? I'm guessing at least part of the reason she's leaving you is your ex-con status? That alone will probably keep you from getting any alimony, if that's what you're gunning for.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 02:57 PM
14

When divorcing a predatory woman like you described above, the best advice I can give you is to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. Once she realizes she's lost control, she'll go for the jugular....even if it doesn't benefit her. Here's my suggestions, in no particular order. Be the one to file first. Most divorce petitions have contain language that prohibits both parties from harassing each other, making major financial changes and, most importantly, keep the children in place. With…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 03:40 PM
7

You do not owe her a dime. Furthermore, you need to explain to her that her mother is not a party to the divorce, and that you will not communicate with her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 04:25 PM
15

I tried for 4 years to fix a nag. It was a very similar situation to yours: She was never happy with my efforts. I never did enough in her eyes. I dreaded walking in the door, because I knew I'd see that face and hear the bitching immediately. I'd get a text every day around 10am (because that's when she'd finally get out of bed) letting me know what I had done wrong that morning......usually with pictures. I got to the point that I never sat down, from the moment I got home until the moment I w…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 01:08 PM
30

Great job, my man. Your STBX will struggle to see you succeed at parenting, as she's likely convinced herself that you can't handle it. We've all been there. I made the mistake of letting my ex participate....once. I had just moved out of our joint house that morning, and had, in 6 hours, set up my entire townhomes. I had completely decorated my son's room and made his bed. I had to use some old sheets from my older son that had been in storage. Everything was ready. I let her come in so he coul…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:24 PM
1

Wait…….she wants you to pay her to keep her vehicle??? I’m assuming you also have a vehicle?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 05:24 PM
6

Either your Google translator is broken or you need to put down the pipe.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 05:20 AM
2

No. Even if she has custody, she’d still have to make him available to you locally for visitation time. Your lawyer can explain this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 06:49 PM
7

Because he has a consent judgement that says he can’t talk to her directly, chief.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 01:27 AM
33

If you send that to your wife, she'll give that to her attorney and you'll end up with a restraining order. Do not send. There is no rationalizing with a woman in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:04 PM
15

By the end of my first marriage, my wife (who was 4'11") was nearly 190 lbs and had gained 75lbs from the time we had gotten married. She looked.......awful. I hate to say it, but she looked so bad that I had absolutely no interest in having sex with her. She looked 9 months pregnant, and she wasn't. That said, she had THREE affairs with married men....that I know of....before I filed for divorce. Now, none of these men were interested in having a relationship with her, but they were willing to …
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 03:36 PM
47

First off......I'd suspect your wife is cheating. Second, it sounds like you don't have a lawyer. You need a lawyer. You absolutely, positively need to get a lawyer. You're dealing with a woman that conned you into adopting a child WHILE she way actively planning to divorce you. I'd suspect she did that to insure more child support. Did I mention you need a lawyer? You do. She's absolutely scamming you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 01:43 PM
14

You’ll end up with a warrant out of CA, which will likely hamper your ability to ever travel in the US again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 12:55 PM
0

Of course she said it’s “abusive”. That word has been so bastardized, pretty much everything is considered abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 12:14 PM
6

Courts are still largely biased against men. A smart man gets an attorney to protect his future.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 03:17 AM
7

Do you have an attorney? You need an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:45 AM
21

Yep……she’s got her flavor-of-the-month ready to white-night all of her belongings onto a uhaul.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:33 AM
32

Yeah that's pretty common. She didn't hate your life, but she's now got all her friends and family in her ear, and they're telling and retelling the exaggerated stories about you, turning you more and more into a villain with every telling. Labels like "narcissist" and "abuser" are being thrown around without any thought of the true implications.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 02:56 PM
8

Great work. It’s amazing to watch it dawn on them that they aren’t going to get everything they want.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:00 AM
1

Honey, just post your OF link and move on. This is a support sub for divorced men, not a dating site for “hippy chicks” that believe in tarot.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 10:50 AM
1

It’s 36% of total time. You’re not getting primary with that. I’ve done 50/50 with my kids for years. If you want to be more than a weekend dad, or EVER have a social life for yourself, you might want to reconsider.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 02:09 PM
3

How’s the pot?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 01:50 PM
1

Are you the “primary household”? 4 is chaotic. And hard to understand. If that schedule is for you, you’re barely seeing your kids. And you’re not going to be primary with that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 01:44 PM
2

Ask him. Why are you snooping on him and why are you in a men’s divorce group? Is this the same boyfriend that stopped talking to you six weeks ago?
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 02:50 AM
1

Honestly sounds pretty normal given the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 04:53 PM
5

No, I fully get it, I just don't see it the way you see it. And you're right, most people won't see it the way you see it. And that's my point, it will be a struggle to find a judge to see it the way you see it. BTW, you definitely don't want to tell a judge that he doesn't get it. It's going to seem disingenuous to a judge that you claim the financial freedom to work part time, pick and choose your work load and live on the road on one hand, and then claim to be "financially done" on the other …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 10:45 PM
7

Honestly, when someone starts talking about living in a van, I never figure I'm talking to someone my own age. I'm not saying that to be mean: I'm saying that because that's likely how most judges are going to look at it. A 52 year old guy that decided to live in a van isn't going to read well. It's going to be the van-dwelling, partially employed dad with plans for "homeschooling", vs the fully-employed, home dwelling mother with plans for proper schooling for a teen child. Oh, and I'll guess t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 09:35 PM
2

Your financial plan included dipping into your retirement? How old are you? How old is your daughter? And this plan also involves renting out your home.......which your wife has decided to stay in and will use as a basis to prove that she's the more stable parent. Oh and she has a stable, traditional job while you're self-employed and work when you feel like it. Bro......you're fucked. Whatever you do, do NOT hire the attorney that thinks you're going to get sole custody. He does not have a real…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 08:57 PM
15

First off........your wife either set you up or you guys are TERRIBLE at communication. You bought the van and took off, and she hadn't decided yet? While van life might be more acceptable in the younger generations, a judge looking at the best interests of a child probably isn't going to agree that "living in a van down by the river" is a great lifestyle for a child and a single parent. You're going to have to address the issues of employment, financial capacity (long term), safety, education a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 08:36 PM
9

Sorry you're going through that, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:41 PM
1

If you've filed for divorce, then there's likely a "restraining order" attached that would prevent her from just taking off with the children. Even if she did, that kind of move doesn't necessarily "establish custody", especially if you fight it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 02:30 PM
15

The modern woman wants a wealthy, powerful, fit man……..who turns into a compliant pussycat the second he gets home and never expresses his opinion or challenges her on anything. Then they’re shocked when they don’t get what they want.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 04:24 PM
9

Social media is an echo chamber for half-baked, untested concepts that somehow gain validity because the person espousing them does so with a confident smirk and eye contact with the camera. Every man is an "abuser" or a "narcissist".....or maybe both.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 02:30 PM
15

Unless your safety is in jeopardy, stay in your home. However, you need to be aware that many women are inclined to make false claims against a man in order to force him out of the house via a bogus restraining order. Minimize your contact with her in the home. If she gets angry or violent, videotape any interaction. Consider getting cameras for public areas of the house and the bedroom where you'll be sleeping.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 01:38 PM
2

You need to file for divorce. Immediately. If Australian law is anything like US, she would be prohibited from traveling out of the country with her. I’d also find her passport and hide it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 03:00 PM
11

Ok, so he drives a diesel truck and has a Trump bumper sticker. Oh and he has a mustache. It's probably a leap to assume that he's trying to indoctrinate your daughter with "hate filled, racist rhetoric". Instill your beliefs in your daughter and teach her right from wrong. That's likely the best you can do.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:52 PM
2

Well, your ex sounds like a cunt. If your ex is trying to turn your child against you, you can often take her back to court. Most parenting plans have a "non-disparagement" clause which prohibits such behavior, although it's often difficult to prove. But I'm guessing that your ex isn't that subtle. Now, I have to ask about the boyfriend. How, exactly, do you know what he says and doesn't say around your daughter. Do you have direct proof of him using "hate-filled rhetoric", or are you making ass…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:16 PM
56

Your wife is building a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's common. Here's how it works: Wife is happy, but mildly annoyed with minor behavior from husband. She tells her family and friends about it, but embellishes. The embellished truth creates drama, and gives the cackling hens something to talk about. So the embellishment continues. Telling negative stories about her husband becomes part of her personality, and gives her something to talk about. Pretty soon, friends and family start asking fo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:34 PM
3

So you left this man for over a year, then tried to come back, expect him to immediately be loyal to you, then (illegally) record him? My man, cut bait. You can pretend to be the victim if it makes you feel better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 12:06 PM
37

What she's really doing is keeping you on the hook (financially, of course) until she figures out if this new guy is gonna work out or not. I wouldn't waste any additional time in this marriage. I'm also not so sure how much of a legal advantage you'll have due to her cheating. Most states have gone to " no fault" divorce, and even if that option is available to you, it's very expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:12 PM
18

No, she can't. Most courts aren't keen on judge shopping, and they're not going to let her withdraw then start over again. She can always contest it........
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:08 PM
14

No, that's not normal. The next time she asks, I'd state the following: "Feeding the kids during your parenting time is your sole responsibility. If you are unable to take care of the basic necessity of feeding our kids during your parenting time, then I may need to discuss modifying the custody agreement with my attorney."
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 02:29 PM
58

You're out of your god damn mind. You can't make any legal agreement that will make you "bullet-proof" when it comes to child support. Doubling the number of kids means exponentially more work, and trying to raise a baby in a divorce situation is sheer madness.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 06:23 PM
2

Well.........everyone telling you that after reading your diatribe that you reposted to 13 subs might be onto something...........
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 02:32 PM
18

The day I filed was the day I blocked all of my ex's social media. Stop looking. Don't concern yourself. There's a reason you can't drive looking in the rearview mirror.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:53 PM
3

My guess is he's hoping for people to feed his misplaced ego. This guy has serious issues.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:29 PM
3

No…social media has led us to believe that everyone we disagree with has NPD.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 12:59 AM
17

So, rich kid that got cut off after multiple masters, who thinks he’s a “millionaire “ on paper, who’s nothing more that an adjunct professor, who despises his wife because he “married down”, and hates his life because he thinks he was owed more. Jesus, that was the most entitled thing I’ve read in a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:27 PM
34

I was required to maintain the house in perfect condition at all times. Before I left for work (with two kids in tow to school) all dishes had to be washed and put away. The bathroom had to be immaculate. The kids rooms (on a different floor of the house that she never needed to go to), had to be spotless. She would check every day when she got out of bed (around 9:30) and I would get an angry text around 10. She, however, left the house however she felt, because she was so busy going to the gym…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 03:28 PM
53

Parenting without constant criticism. Allowing myself to sometimes go to bed without making sure the house is clean enough to receive the King of England on a moment's notice. Not constantly shaking my head at the double standards.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 02:35 PM
9

She's got you in a trap, doesn't she. You're convinced that you're 100% responsible for keeping her alive, so you can't leave. And you really can't stay either, because she's going to insure that you're aren't happy. And, of course, she'll devastate you financially either way. Your wife has caused this. Full stop. Her choices to unalive herself are hers and hers alone. You can't keep a suicidal person alive. That's a hard pill to swallow, but it true. Has she ever actually tried to commit suicid…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 02:31 PM
8

What evidence does she claim to have to prove these charges? To any other men reading this: the SECOND a woman starts threatening to have you arrested, cease all contact with her. Make all exchanges in a VERY public place, and ask someone to go on your behalf, if you can. If you absolutely must see her.....record every second, including arriving and leaving. Don't EVER give her an opportunity to claim you did anything to her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 08:05 PM
45

My ex got remorseful once she realized that, contrary to what she was being told by her friends, she was not going to get all my money, the house, full custody, and relegate me to living in an efficiency bachelor pad the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 03:57 PM
3

You've made some positive changes to your life. Undergrad, grad school, military. Sounds like you've made some real improvements in your life. Is your degree in acting? As an outsider, the idea of a 33 year old man moving to LA to try to make it as an actor seems overly optimistic. In my mind, your right to be concerned about failing, as that industry has a dramatically high failure rate. If I were concerned about custody of my child, I'd be focusing on stability right now. Having a stable job i…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 03:26 PM
2

Yup, my ex was like this. You were either 100% in her corner, or 100% against her. And yes, my divorce got ugly because she saw me as an enemy, and our child as a weapon.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 02:34 PM
2

I'd argue that you're stuck in analysis-paralysis, where you almost seem to be analyzing your analysis. It's great to be self-reflective and all that, but sometimes you have to act in self preservation (which you seem to have not aligned as "red pill".) All that said, I'm going to break down an outsiders perspective of what you've presented. In your linked thread about her history of escalating, you present a woman whom is willing to do ANYTHING to win this divorce proceedings. Potential claims …
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 02:31 PM
1

This is absolutely, positively, 100% incorrect.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 01:57 PM
12

Yes, even in 2022, a woman can successfully use false allegations against you in divorce proceedings, especially when kids are involved. Here's some tips: Record everything. Make sure to discuss the legalities of recording in your state. Minimize contact. For example, have her served rather than give her the papers directly. If you can, move out BEFORE you serve her. If you can't minimize your interactions or record every word, attempt to have witnesses with you during your interactions. In a no…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 01:56 PM
2

Man, Chad must really be deserving of this damning diatribe.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 12:16 PM
3

For the record, I have three kids with 50/50 custody. I've been divorced from the mother of my oldest two for 8 years and the youngest for 2.5 years (yeah, I'm an idiot): Oldest is a straight A student with numerous AP classes, has leadership positions in her high school marching band as a sophomore, and is perfectly behaved. My middle is a straight A student, plays competitive soccer, and is very well behaved. My youngest is doing great in school, and his behavior has IMPROVED dramatically sinc…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 02:45 PM
4

The one thing I'll remind everyone promoting this clause is this: anything you ask her to agree to, you'll have to agree to as well. One the surface, a strict ROFR for child care makes sense. You want to spend maximum time with your kids, and you want to have some level of say as to who's caring for them. Then, you apply it to yourself, and remember that this clause will survive until they're adults. What if your parents are in town, and you want to run to the store without a kid in tow? Well, y…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 02:26 AM
59

I hate to ask this, but do you have any evidence that she's cheating? The sudden loss of interest, the rapid decision to divorce.......it kinda adds up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 03:49 PM
52

Stop. Just stop. You want a woman back that told lies about you and used the courts to try to ruin your life and your reputation? She showed her true character. Stop trying to contact her. Block her from your socials. Stop keeping up with her life. Get yourself some therapy to get over the grief.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:26 PM
3

That’s going to depend on what your agreement says.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 07:29 PM
8

My man, I wouldn't be looking to the old testament for guidance on how to navigate a modern marriage.....failed or not.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/22 02:14 PM
1

And your parenting plan specifically requires it?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:30 PM
2

Are you legally obligated to pay for half of everything on top of child support?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:00 PM
23

Why not post here, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 04:49 PM
10

Many…many of us have dealt with the identical situation. Stay calm. It sucks, but let the courts do their work. Bear in mind that she’s likely going to do everything she can to bait you. Don’t take the bait. Make all interactions in writing and, if you must see her in person, have an adult witness or videotape everything.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 12:46 AM
14

God…..I have NIGHTMARES about reconciling with my ex. Guaranteed the woman you miss isn’t the woman you divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 01:40 PM
14

This is a pretty common tactic by certain attorneys. They know that the mediator's goal is to "find compromise", so they start with unrealistic expectations hoping to get you to "find a middle" that really isn't at the middle at all. Your tactic will greatly depend on your willingness for this to go to court. One tactic I employed was that I refused to counter on an outrageous demand. We told the mediator that their ask was so outrageous that we wouldn't even counter it, and were prepared to go …
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 12:22 PM
25

Here's the reality: if your wife wants a divorce, then she is going to need to go back to work full time. And she might as well start looking now. Get it out of your head right now that you are obligated to maintain her in her current life...because you're not. Even if you have to sell the house, your kids will be fine. These things happen, and you can't go bankrupt trying to maintain the home, and no court will make you. Unless there are threats of violence or false accusations against you, sta…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 02:19 PM
16

Hey! I’m glad you found your way over here. You’ll find much more support here than in the general divorce sub.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 04:36 PM
1

Judges don’t care about DV claims? My man, you’re myopic in your concerns. A dad that needs to temporary leave the house can still prove he’s willing to do the “heavy lifting”. In the OPs case, he can come into the house mornings and evenings, when his son is there and awake, and make dinners, lunches, assist in cleaning and the like. He can go to soccer games, attend school functions, church, do grocery shopping….all that. He can do that AND keep himself from being alone with an incapacitated, …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 09:27 PM
1

It’s not. He’s still there, on the same property. Unless he just checks out, no judge is going to find him unfit. AND…he reduced contact with the alcoholic wife…..which is the best move.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 08:41 PM
4

This. AND he’s creating enough distance to minimize false DV claims.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 08:19 PM
16

I dealt with an alcoholic ex. We had other issues, but her drinking made everything worse. Unless she's at the point that she realizes she has a problem, there's nothing you can do about it. In that case, it's best to protect yourself, your child, and file for divorce. Having the side house is great. You're still there for your son every day, still in the house, but separated from her. Suggest getting a lock on the door to which she doesn't have a key. Security camera would also be wise. Watch o…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 07:05 PM
-1

You link that forum......a lot. Are you associated with it in any way?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 06:58 PM
2

I have a false claim of DV and a TRO in my case as well. I beat it without 7 years of fighting. And again, the original question was name one time a man moved out and lost his house due to abandonment. If you have a wife claiming DV and she got the charges to stick, then it’s significantly more complicated than just “moving out”.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 12:02 PM
2

My man, if you had a 7 year legal battle, there’s way more to your story than simply moving out….
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 04:07 PM
2

The bigger consequence is leaving tends to drag things out. The woman is happy, and starts assuming the house is hers. Because she’s comfortable, she’s in no rush. But the guy isn’t going to lose his house.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 12:45 PM
6

Let me answer your question with a question. Show me ONE CASE where a man moved out during a divorce, while financially maintaining his property, and lost everything on a claim of abandonment. Just one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 03:05 AM
3

So many people, including some attorneys, labor under the delusion that you have to stay in the house for fear of being accused of “abandonment”. If he continues to pay the mortgage and participate in upkeep, no judge will accept that claim.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 05:56 PM
43

She’ll expect a statement. Make the payment without fanfare. Sounds like you’ve got a great life, and living well is the best revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 03:43 PM
6

Ok, I just gotta ask........ "anti-trans bigotry"? Are you trans, or just taking offense at her comments? Can you give us an example?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 09:01 PM
3

I'd offer you this: trying to structure a collaborative lawyer process for your divorce without consulting your wife first kinda flies in the face of "collaborative law". No strategy survives first contact with the enemy. Said another way, you can't completely control this process once you get your wife involved. Consult with an attorney first and learn where you stand legally. Once you've done that, let your wife know your intentions to divorce. If she agrees to the collaborative process, then …
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 01:36 PM
1

I already corrected my post. Hamms argument centered around “passive income”, chief. It took him almost 3 years, a 2.5 month trial, and millions in lawyers fees. And he still gave her 1 BILLION. Again, stop while you’re behind. You’re reading headlines with no actual knowledge or experience.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:27 PM
3

Lol….you didn’t look at my history. Musk had killer prenups and both had the top lawyers in the country. Your simplistic view of “they hid assets” isn’t even remotely close to what actually happened in their divorces. Your inability to understand that is troubling. Again…..people ignore your posts for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:21 PM
5

My man, from looking at your history, I see you have a one track mind. I can tell from your comments that you have no actual experience on what your talking about. He had a prenup. A very good prenup. He didn’t just start hiding assets after his wife asked for a divorce. He also had rockstar lawyers that were paid millions…..something most of us won’t have. There’s a reason people don’t respond to your posts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:02 PM
2

The one where he paid her $16M and had a well-crafter pre-nup, hun? Asset protection starts before the marriage, not at the end of it by hiding assets.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 05:54 PM
3

Stop while you’re behind, chief. Hiding assets for an impending divorce is transparent and seen as malfeasance by most courts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 05:43 PM
2

If she’s abusing you physically, you need to use that evidence to have her arrested and charged. That will go farther in court. The verbal stuff? The judge will laugh. Now that laugh from above will warm him up for the absolute GUTBUSTER he’s gonna have when you claim that you should have custody because your wife……..speeds. With all due respect, are you fucking serious, or are you just terrible at explaining it???
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 04:06 PM
1

Right.....as a defensive tactic. But his lawyer is suggesting "playing house" in order to get her on tape in order to better his financial position. Not only does that not come into play in a no-fault divorce, but it makes the OP look manipulative.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 03:25 PM
7

First off.....I highly recommend you don't hide assets. Transfers like you're describing are horribly transparent, and will make you look nefarious. Beyond that, document everything regarding the affair, and her desire for this guy to impregnate her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 03:19 PM
1

Are you doing a "no fault" divorce, or are you filing on fault? What are you hoping to record? Physical abuse, or just verbal harassment? Honestly, it sounds like a stupid plan. For a typical no fault divorce, your position won't be improved by introducing recordings of her being mean to you. And unless the recordings are of her assaulting the child, they will have no bearing on child custody, either. "Cs still get degrees". On the surface, I'm not impressed with your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 03:12 PM
3

My man…..it’s over. She’s got mom in her ear and is willing to manipulate the legal system to get you kicked out of your own house. Once women get there, they don’t change. Get a lawyer, don’t let the TRO go permanent. Once it’s taken of……..don’t talk to her. Communicate through your attorney. A woman like this will be looking for other reasons to lie to the cops or the courts. Don’t give her one. You’ll make more money.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 12:35 PM
9

Well, dealing with it from home is much easier than dealing with it from jail. Talk to your attorney. Get the TRO dealt with. She’s not gonna talk to you and you’re not going to convince her of anything.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 05:04 PM
10

STOP! Do not contact her until you’ve talked to your lawyer!! You’ll end up in jail. Do. Not. Contact. Her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 04:38 PM
20

They don’t get better as they get older. She will bankrupt you. I know you said you live in an expensive area, but the two of you are earning over half a million a year and you can’t even afford a house????? Give her what she wants. Call her bluff. Alimony will end with a remarriage or cohabitation, and a woman like that will have a new guy before the ink dries. More likely is that she’ll have a change of heart once you call her bluff.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 01:24 PM
30

Can you contact your attorney or the courts? I’d address it before she makes an issue out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 02:16 PM
1

Do you plan on never coming back and staying in third world countries?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 04:37 PM
1

No matter how hot the woman, somebody out there is sick of her shit. You’re staying with this woman for her looks. You’ll regret that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:32 PM
1

Do you have the financial means to buy her out? What’s your rate?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 12:36 PM
10

I’d guess the ex has been telling stories….. It’s really common.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 11:35 PM
2

Yes, our clients often deal with institutional investors for their larger deals. We don't see Blackrock directly at our level, but they are often a controlling investor in our REIT portfolio.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 03:34 PM
2

A question for you, as an expert. Was anyone dumb enough to buy ARMs in the recent buying frenzy? I'm not on the mortgage side, so I can't speak specifically to the number of ARMs in the market. Yes, ARMs are still a thing, although their usage has declined greatly in the last 15 years. Sub-prime ARMs have largely gone away, though, which was the main issue during the Great Recession.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 03:05 PM
10

So, for reference, I'm a commercial real estate banker for a super-regional bank in the US. I've been doing that for over 20 years. Those making comparisons between this recession and the great recession that started in 2007 are a bit ill informed. The Great Recession was caused by a number of factors. A plethora of sub-prime, adjustable interest rate loans. A secondary market securitizing the worst of these tranches and selling them with A ratings from S&P and Moodys. A lack of discipline aroun…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 01:56 PM
17

I’m sorry, my man. She’s got friends in her ear, and maybe a guy on the side. The reason I say that is because you mention that she was going to leave, then changed her mind. The friends / boyfriend were likely encouraging her to do that, but they don’t know her financial reality. Once that set in, she decided to stick around and take advantage of you. Get an attorney and file. If you can afford it, move out. The favors need to stop.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 11:23 AM
32

Woof…man, she’s got you beat down. No house with kids in it and two working parents is spotless all the time. You aren’t the one with the issues, she is. Sounds like you’re pulling more than your own weight. Don’t move out. If the cunt is miserable, then tell her she’s welcome to move out. I’ll promise you her house will NEVER be spotless. Don’t let her make you believe you have a mental problem.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 05:42 PM
2

It’s not. It makes you look retaliatory. Drop it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 12:18 PM
1

Ok, Dave. You do you, boo.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 09:35 PM
1

"YellowFever46 has been harrassing me, pegleg_legal, and other people in this subreddit." This was your first sentence in the OP.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 09:21 PM
1

It’s exactly like I’m saying that. You even admit it in the opening post….
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 08:55 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vrznc9/the_line_between_good_enough_and_divorce_ready/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Like this post where you talk about your main account in the third person???? Come on, man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 08:48 PM
3

So, you’d be cool if she had a guy flicking her bean every once in awhile? Like a traffic ticket, right?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 07:09 PM
13

Maybe the problem is that you DONT consider a “rub and tug” infidelity…… Ten years married and you’re so pissed about twice a week that you’re cheating on your wife? My man….I’m not sure you’ll get s lot of support here.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 06:39 PM
0

You're literally posting this from a throwaway account, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 02:21 PM
0

So, I gotta ask......why have you created a throwaway account to address this issue? We know who you are, you've identified yourself. What's the point? You just want to argue and make sure he / she sees it? When I disagreed with you a few days ago, you really seemed to take it poorly. Maybe just find a way to let things go, friend.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 02:17 PM
5

File……file now. If Canadian law is anything like US law, once she’s served she can’t relocate the kids. Whatever you do, do not let her take the kids out of the country. If they have passports, grab them now and secure them where she can’t get to them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 02:44 PM
6

Amazingly, I neither researched his prior post history nor looked for your other response that you “linked elsewhere” before I replied. You ok?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 02:22 PM
7

Not sure why it bothers you. Hopefully it’s educational to others. But I’m done now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 02:13 PM
5

The devil is in the details. In CA, for example, "cohabitation" doesn't chin the bar. She can claim he is a roommate. As you'll note in the link you provided, the OP would have to prove that they are in a romantic relationship AND that they are financially interdependent upon each other. If you spend some time in other divorce subs, you'll find that many women are well versed on how to dodge those types of requirements.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 12:32 PM
10

Note I stated "in most states" Beyond that, it would be on the man to PROVE to the court that the ex and her new boyfriend are in an intimate relationship AND financially interdependent.....per what you googled and posted. In reality, that would be very difficult to prove and cost thousands of dollars in legal fees.....maybe tens of thousands. And all the wife and her new BF would have to do is deny it.....
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 11:49 AM
17

Oh honey…… In most states, they have to marry that man before they are disqualified from alimony. Their attorneys will tell them to avoid marriage at all costs until the alimony runs out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 10:49 AM
1

Wait……so you’ve already obtained a PTO, and NOW you’re going to send her correspondence? You need to get an attorney. And delete that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 01:43 PM
12

I hate to say it, but it sounds like what women say when another man is providing them with attention. Then, she got the money she wanted from you and got out. I'm truly sorry that happened. Sounds like you're the stable one. I'd highly recommend you get an attorney and get those kids back.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 02:10 PM
1

Oh, no. But I stopped interacting with them years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 02:13 PM
0

Except it isn’t. There’s a lot of detail that may change the outcome. Beyond that, imagine going into a womens divorce group, and the totality of you advice to a woman facing losing her child or her financial security is “learn to accept reality. Pick better next time”. Imagine what she would have to say if her sons life was ruined due to his divorce, and everyone just shrugged their shoulders and said “pick better”.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 12:02 PM
1

I know why she’s here. Her intent is clear. I was just drawing attention to it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 11:35 AM
11

I gotta ask…..why are you in a Mens divorce group?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 11:10 PM
7

It’s going to greatly depend on the laws in your municipality. I’d recommend you discuss with your attorney. In some cases, properly segregated money may not have to be split.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 11:08 PM
2

She’s likely fucking that guy. Beyond that, if her dad gets defensive while you’re they’re, things could get ugly. If she were smart, she wouldn’t turn a family trip into a “let’s tell everyone we’re getting divorced” visit….but I digress.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 11:04 PM
2

Oh, I’ve been more that humbled. A small victory won’t change that much.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 08:28 PM
45

Repeat after me: "Those sound like questions a husband would answer".
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 05:17 PM
5

Well, yes. That’s why I stated she was an alcoholic. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 03:39 PM
11

This. 100% this. Talk to an attorney about this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 01:54 PM
58

Bluntly….this is how they usually act when they’ve met someone else. You won’t get answers, just blame and gaslighting.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 01:09 PM
2

Most of the other guys have covered this, but I wanted to emphasize a few things: Never, ever, ever stay on the mortgage and give up ownership. Your credit will suffer, it will be quite difficult to ever buy a new home, and if she defaults.....you default. Insist the house is sold or she buy you out of your equity and refinance. If she says she wants all or nothing with your daughter........then give her nothing. Have your attorney write up your offer with you having 100% custody. Don't start at…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 08:51 PM
4

If it’s not specified in your specific parenting plan, then there is no standard. Technically, she doesn’t have to let you have them. Now, if Father’s Day isn’t specified in your parenting plan, then neither is Mother’s Day. I’d remind her of that, and that her willingness to work with you on your day will be met with reciprocal effort when the calendar doesn’t work in her favor.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 01:19 PM
3

Unfortunately, even the most dramatic divorce stories are too common to make any sort of unique money maker? Wife using kids against you? Join the club. She made false DV claims and got a bogus RO? Yup, mine too. Political Activism? There’s too many people making money off the business of divorce to see any real changes. You could start a TikTok, air all your dirty laundry, and hope to make a few bucks??? I don’t know, my man. I’d focus on other things.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 09:07 AM
1

I'm in the commercial real estate industry, so I've got a little insight into the housing market. While there are different opinions out there, the educated opinions I here aren't calling for a full "correction". You are correct in calling it a plateau. I wouldn't expect to see prices to drop, but we are already starting to see price increases level off in many major markets. You may have an easier time finding inventory in a year, but I wouldn't expect rates or prices to come down.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 11:22 AM
3

I've got to ask, how old is this woman? If my inlaws had been involved, I'd still be in court today. We actually had to remind my wife that she couldn't bring an audience of friends and family to the mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 11:20 AM
3

This is completely unheard of in today's world. Women are inundated with social media and "bad time betty" friends reassuring them that their feeling are "valid" and that any act, including cheating on a long term relationship, is valid. I'm sure she assumed that ANY woman would agree with her, including your daughters. It's what she's been led to believe.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 11:18 AM
6

I’m a rabid gun owner and twice divorced. I tell divorced men that if “shit goes down” you need to do everything in your power to avoid it….Not go for a gun. You’ll always, always, be seen as the “aggressive ex husband”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:06 PM
34

A few thoughts for you: If you found out your daughter moved to another city (or country) after it happened, or you didn't find out about graduations, then you are not "communicating decently". You've been divorced a year......why do you care who she's fucking? Do you not have custody of the kids....or even any visitation rights?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 01:52 PM
1

Bring a list of all assets, liabilities and income sources, for both you and the wife. Address all concerns about children and the like.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 01:03 PM
2

Do you / did you have an attorney?
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 03:35 PM
8

It’s a tactic……from her attorney. It’s very common, and it really doesn’t matter what her motivation for using the tactic is. Get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 11:48 AM
8

It’s a very common tactic in divorce to make an initial “lowball” offer. Get an attorney and fight back.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 11:22 AM
1

You say the moneys in a safe? Take the safe. Keep it until she’s willing to negotiate.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 01:54 PM
1

Do you own that property alone, or with your ex?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 01:51 PM
3

Any competent judge will see straight through that. Even then, the imputed income is likely to affect you for the next 2-3 years.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 01:48 PM
3

It’s hard….nearly impossible….to “plan” a divorce. I’d do two things: 1: stop giving her ANYTHING you don’t have to. The courts are terrible at taking this into consideration, and you likely won’t get any consideration for the money you’ve spent. Have your attorney turn up the heat and start pushing things forward. He can ask the courts to compel her. Things like hiring PIs and divorce for cause rarely play out, and only make sense if you’re talking about millions in assets.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 11:45 AM
38

Repeat after me: “That sounds like a chore a husband would perform”.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 12:53 AM
4

I posted. Let’s see how that poor bastard responds.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 12:03 PM
11

Can I be honest here? You had a marriage that lasted a week, and six months later you’re several more girlfriends in looking for the next. Take some time, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 10:32 AM
20

Here’s my thought: “forgive and forget” is terrible advice. Do neither. Find a way to deal with the anger and move past it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 05:32 PM
16

A few thoughts: -stockpiling cash is a wise defensive move. Be aware, however, that if you’re caught stockpiling cash it will be added back to the marital assets. -while you can make a case that you had more “worth” prior to the marriage, you should expect somewhere near a 50/50 split. That can vary based on the brevity of the marriage, and whether or not you commingled assets. if you own the homes together, the courts will make you split the equity. If you don’t have an ability to buy her out, …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:47 PM
15

Go back to court and petition for her to be held in contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:35 PM
0

If women wonder why men are so confused as to how to manage their coparenting relationships, allow this to be example #1. The guy is held accountable for being "mean and rude" in the outset of a divorce, and then is accused of "controlling" behavior when he's able to get past his pain and help his kid celebrate Mother's Day.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 03:21 PM
1

Remember…..he’s gonna have to buy you out of the house, too. His money won’t last.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 05:31 PM
5

Sorry you're going through this. If this affair has been going on since 2019, then your marriage has been dead for a long time. Here are my thoughts: Best to let the attorney tell you how they can best help, but I would consider filing for cause rather than a quick, "no fault" divorce. Filing for cause can potentially limit how much alimony you have to pay her. 50/50 is standard in most areas now days. It's very possible, but expect her to fight it. Fight for the house. If she wants to "keep" it…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 04:25 PM
27

Lol, yeah, I commented on that one. My ex held a similar view......she didn't want to "deal" with me or my children (from another marriage), and she didn't want to engage in any of the compromise required with any sort of relationship. She did, however, want to continue in the lifestyle that my hard work provided. The last two years have been an eye opener for her, and she still holds a grudge that "her life" was taken away from her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 04:09 PM
3

After my TRO was dismissed and expunged from the records, my ex had friends send email to the CEO of my company (which employs 17,000+ people) telling him that I was a "convicted abuser".........all based on the TRO. HR was cool about it (they said this happens a lot), but when I contacted her and told her to cut it out, her response was "why? It's true! They wouldn't have given be a restraining order if they didn't know you were dangerous!"
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 12:23 PM
1

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 11:33 AM
3

My ex filed a TRO on the basis that "I lingered in a doorway for too long, giving her the impression that I intended to hold her hostage in the home" Her other "nail in my coffin" was that I "spoke to her in an unkind way and made her feel unloved". Bear in mind, these things were considered acceptable to grant her the TRO. But when it came to court, her attorney spent about 20 minutes convincing her that she was better off letting it drop. I came to find out after the fact that it was all a rus…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:18 AM
5

Pro se TROs are given out like candy.......to women.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 01:46 AM
8

Despite what many women believe, judges arent stupid and assume that all men are abusers simply because they say so. Anyone can file a bogus police report, but if nothing came from it, then it really doesn't amount to much. There would have to be evidence to maintain the RO permanently......either previous physical evidence or ADMISSIONS FROM YOU IN COURT. I can't speak for your state, but in most states, there isn't cross-examinations by attorneys in RO cases. The parties present their evidence…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 01:00 AM
3

This isn't true.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 12:48 AM
6

With all due respect.....yeah you are. The housing market is tough in Austin, but you'd also have 50% of the equity of that house to use to find suitable accommodations. While TX has a "Standard Possession Order" that would give the non-custodial parent the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends, alternating holidays and a MONTH in the summer, that doesn't mean that that's all you can get. You can also attempt to get a Modified Possession Order, which could look like 50/50....or whatever you can agree upon. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 12:41 AM
3

With all due respect, this isn't the 1970's. Most states now have a presumptive custody agreement that is significantly better than the "two weekends a month and two weeks in summer" stereotype. In TN, for example, the standard is 50/50. And while I had to put in a bit of a fight, the assumption was always that my wife would have to prove that I deserved less than that. Which she didn't, of course.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 12:28 AM
10

Why would you just give up on your kids and take token custody?
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 06:46 PM
12

So she can't afford it, won't let you have it, and refuses to sell it and leave? There is no upside to you in a deferred sale. Because the note is in your name, you'll hamper your ability to establish a new home until this one is sold. She wants this because she believes she is owed free housing. And guaranteed, she'll drag this out as long as she possibly can. You want ZERO shared assets post divorce. Stand your ground and force the sale.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 04:31 PM
2

Does your parenting plan have any limitations about living with a “love interest”?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 11:54 AM
3

To keep it a secret…..
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 07:41 PM
6

Why? Before recently, did you think she’d cheat on you?
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 07:39 PM
2

I’m guessing your wife threatened them?
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 07:35 PM
13

You posted something similar under a different user name in another sub, didn't you? You guys need to break up, and then both of you should do some serious repair work before you ever consider dating again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 07:11 PM
5

And do you not provide income?
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 06:51 PM
11

Any suspicious activity? Could she be cheating? Next time she wants you out, tell her she should leave. Don’t let her force you out of your own house. Edited to add: sounds bipolar.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 06:48 PM
1

In every state, the defendant has the right to file their own "narrative" in response to the narrative filed by the plaintiff. Especially in a "no fault" divorce, there is very little creedence given to who files first. And I can promise you, it makes absolutely no difference in custody disputes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 08:20 PM
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