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CaptJaxParo Archive

View 0 posts and 144 comments by CaptJaxParo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Get all the debt you can there it is joint marital debt including down payments for a lawyer down payment for a apartment down payment for whatever you're doing and while you're at it get new accounts for your Best Buy grocery store gas station Costco everything she will use to track you track your purchases and track where you are. And I would switch phone companies. Change passwords log out of accounts protect your computer and phone. Guns documents everything had I listened to my relatives an…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 10:26 PM
6

You will find out who your true friends are. And a lot of the men are just out there naively thinking they are glad they aren't you and they know they are next so maybe they aren't contacting you. But they will. Eventually you will have more people who wind up just like you and you will be their coach.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 02:53 AM
5

Vilification. She has to put down somebody in order to feel good about her actions
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 06:39 PM
8

I heard of one wife actually threatening her lawyer that the lawyer had more of her estate than she did. Which was true lawyers don't work for free and there's a lot of empty promises that people fall for. That snake oil, "you're going to get everything just hire me"
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 02:04 AM
5

Indeed. I dont care who us driving my Trade-In carmax old beater. I have a Ferrari now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 01:33 AM
1

Is your ex Borderline? Why would you listen to a bully? Was she RIGHT about anything? Or just a perk? Regardless. Move on and rebuild yourself. Know thyself. Make a new you. Few get that chance
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 05:05 AM
10

Some relationships repair and get back together. Some needed that break to reset because you realize you truly loved each other. But really you have to ask yourself if yours is that relationship after such a long period of no contact. I can bet $100 there's a lot of things you don't know that she's not telling you and she's just looking for validation and a safe place until she can find the right person for herself. When she meets that magic person boom you will not hear another word from her ag…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 03:07 PM
6

You didn't get false accusations and put in jail? Bro.....youre free and un Traumatized. Go enjoy life. Many cant just for wanting to see their children or keep their job.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 05:28 AM
4

Let me tell you. It wasn't true love it was infatuation and projection. It's like loving a ferrari. It doesn't love you back it's just a car. No matter how special it is to you. It doesn't love you back the same. You're putting all your hopes and dreams into another person. Stop that It's a long road but you're going to have to put your hopes and dreams in yourself. That's the only way you're going to meet somebody and have a healthy relationship. I wouldn't date you for a million dollars right …
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 02:55 PM
11

Sad. But true. If you do not heed this advice, YOU will be in jail and never see your children again. The system is against you, you got lucky by seeing her first strike.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 01:52 PM
15

Same. Bankrupt. Total destruction. All it did was destroy our children's futures. Half a million wasted. Literally nothing left. What can you do. YOU CHOSE HER, like I did. and now you pay. Like I did. And now you know who she really is. So don't go down to her level. But now.....youre free to start over. You just dont see that yet, you are still in the sunk cost fallacy. There's a reason people pay to get out of their timeshare and to be free of the restrictions that "vacation asset" put them i…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 09:59 PM
3

It may not be suicide it can be catastrophic thinking. That All Is Lost and therefore everything will always be lost. But you have to realize every generation and every person has gone through this there have been famines Wars ships lost at sea and people swimming to shore starting with nothing. But they don't think All Is Lost it's a challenge and they start over. The question is why do you have catastrophic thinking that whenever anything small goes wrong the whole machine is going to break do…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 02:46 AM
2

There is a program running in her mind. A trojanhorse.exe when she's in a new land she needs new software. I.e. dating you on best behavior. When she goes back home, the old software virus takes over.languages food sounds and old neighbors trigger the virus and pathogen that it's now time to replicate. Old hurts fears and destinies take over. Its who she is to the core. And good you found out now. Many leave their past and successfully start a new life on a new place. We cant choose who we are b…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 03:35 PM
11

Right and if "mom kept him away" I bet there's a reason he was right up the road and not doing anything. I've seen it myself. With the threat of law enforcement and government agencies who will break your back and destroy your life based on nothing but a hint of an allegation sometimes it's safer to quietly live up the road. Like the Grinch on top of the mountain looking down on Whoville
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:41 PM
3

And I was surprised to learn that coworkers had lost a child or have cancer or other things right and they are still holding it together at work not melting down and not doing crazy things or whining and complaining and only after the fact on the side conversation do I hear that they have been having extremely hard time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:43 PM
11

Yes when I was younger and I heard somebody's divorcing I thought oh you are just breaking up and you can go your separate ways I didn't realize how people tried to destroy the other person throw them in jail and ruin their life and like you said you are still expected to hold a normal life and not be depressed crazy or angry
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 10:19 PM
0

Right now you can do whatever you want with the account it is after marital division that she gets 50% or you get 50% so if you need to get out I would take everything now and worry about Fair division later
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 09:30 PM
1

Correct. From the date you are married count the active duty days that you served and what percentage of that is the total of active duty days accrued towards retirement.PCARS days Every person out there says they automatically get half which is not true. They get a percent of a percent which is not the percent they think they are going to get and some people wind up getting nothing including Tricare coverage which is the more valuable part of the retirement
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 10:58 PM
5

This professional victim and performative victimhood will only go so far. Everybody who reaches out to the abused war-torn Refugee just seeking Asylum. Will soon be worn out and they're welcome will be overplayed. Once the victim doesn't take care of themselves once they are no longer " in danger" or need of a rescue and can quite help themselves to get a job and move on yet to choose not to. The people around them will notice this on their own. And eventually those helpers will move on to other…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 06:27 PM
5

Like a werewolf vampire silver bullet. Just Google divorce silver bullet. Its "what her lawyer TOLD her to do" (said right to a bodycam). Its the way to kick the guy out of the house and seize bank accounts all in one day. Almost worked.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 09:19 PM
4

MLM oils? Yoga pants MLM? Shampoo MLM? lotsa stay at home mommy jobs that can earn TENS of dollars a month in your downline sales, you guys just need 20k to invest. I funded My SAHM to proverbially push the donkey up a hill. She told her lawyer "he was so controlling it wasn't ALLOWED to work therefore lifetime alimony" lol. Not in my state. Everybody gets up at 5am to go to work, the judge included. No mercy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 07:37 PM
11

Mine: there are too many toys too many nerf guns the house is always chaos. they ALL need to be donated. Yet she has Chaos trash, food on the floor as a SAHM. laundry in piles for YEARS. Her stuff: piles of clothes from 20yrs ago college books bins of old stuff she never opens.hoarding mountains of trash like WallE in her room. But the nerf guns that are used several times a day with boys battles, sitting in the living room? Donate or trash!!! Then she will finally bring peace to the galaxy. I f…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 07:12 PM
5

Go for a run. Go for a long walk. It will help you process your thoughts. You need to get moving and get the legs moving. You need tasks and things to keep you busy and take the energy out. Most guys say hit the gym but you know what fits you best. Don't worry this will make you stronger. Make sure you Embrace this time and learn from it and remember it. You will be happy again but it's not going to be tomorrow
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 09:17 PM
4

Sounds normal why would you surround yourself with people who suck the energy out of you and work friendship or relationships? The only caveat to this is exchanging kids or dealing with things for the kids but if you can do that via text then that's absolutely fine. Nobody wants trauma in their lives and only vampires crave it. So it's good you're away from that and you can focus back on who you are in this world
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 03:04 PM
4

A lot of people say not to leave the home. But those people have never been in a situation where you're being accused and set up. If she has gone this far she's going to go further if she can lie she will lie more if she can twist the truth she will start to fabricate things. You will come home one day to handcuffs because she's afraid. There are men who moved out and avoided jail and there are men who stayed and stuck around and wound up in jail. I have many friends who have Stellar careers and…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:33 PM
2

QRDO AFTER the divorce is signed. Not BEFORE. but yes. You got a place to live and if there's no emotional baggage there it might be worth buying her out and she quitClaims her name away
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 05:45 PM
5

Its like losing weight or paying off debt Initially it's hard and slow. But once you gain. Momentum you cant stop. "What you once feared becomes your FUEL" Do you smell that? Nothing else in the world smells like that.. I love the smell of napalm in the morning
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 12:21 AM
1

I can smell the cookies. What an awesome turn for you
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 07:23 AM
3

I love his videos. Yeah OP needs to prepare. My wife's lawyer sold her a fairy tale. Spent all the 401k on her. And the lawyer fired her after she was threatened by her. Some women be crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 06:59 AM
5

You answered your question yourself from this point on in your life you need somebody quality who you can trust
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:43 AM
2

OP , this poster is focusing on physical fitness. The first thing you should be doing every morning is the hard thing getting up and going for a run or a walk and doing some exercise. You don't like it nobody likes it but you need to have to discipline like this guy does
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 02:48 AM
2

Me too. Especially since im not a Harry Potter fan
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 07:17 PM
1

As my therapist said you can always date each other or remarry later if it's meant to be it is meant to be in a simple divorce won't end it but during the divorce you will see the person's true side and true colors and in my case I did with police activations Affairs I didn't know about neighbors and coworkers. In this case you need to give it a chance chance divorce and then see afterwards if you're still meant to be
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 04:44 PM
6

I have met awesome neighbors, kids, dudes, dogs, cats and made a ton of friends in my GFs apartment block My old cookie cutter suburban hood was clean but dead. The apartment im at are shady but everybody is working hard and are a great class of lower economic people who have cooked for me and treated me well. Most dont have a car, most are illegal, but it's a great way to end my day. To see kids playing outside, cause their 1Bd apartment with parents is too small. Dogs running around. People wa…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 03:47 AM
9

Of course my spouse says she is entitled to 100% of my retirement because she's a SAHM. lol. Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 05:27 PM
10

The percent could be tied to the amount of active duty days they were married during his career. So she wasn't married to him the full 100% of the time he was on active duty she was likely married to him 70% of the time. I.e. did 20 years of service but they got married at year 7 or 8 into his career
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 02:20 PM
14

What's really going to suck for your kid is when those two break up all that time and energy and emotional investment will be for nothing and then she will bounce to another guy and another guy. They will realize that there was only one man who will be in their life forever. You. So keep being you. Take this hit go ahead and feel bad but keep your head up and play the long game
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 09:44 PM
2

Yup. There are lots of books on boundaries. Start now. This is wrong. Which may explain how you married her to begin with OP
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 01:42 PM
4

Ruminating insults. They are there from your childhood and they are there from yesterday. We all have to face them. Either you are too slow. You miss the ball. He dropped something. You were late to work or you're not as good as the affair partner Easier said than done but if you focus on positive things positive people and fill yourself with that. There's no room for negativity. Get out there be around successful and healthy people and become a successful healthy person. At the same time it wou…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 04:20 PM
4

Wow you've got talent Why are you wasting it?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 12:51 AM
2

Yup. Shes in limmerance and out to lunch. OP Needs to reel in the Catch. Damn near full custody. Wow
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 04:31 AM
9

Time to research cluster B. She might be Borderline. You're being manipulated. Why? Figure out WHY you let it happen. You're in for a trip down the rabbit hole
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 06:16 PM
1

From what you are saying it seems you were the second choice and the fallback guy. You will never be the first guy she's attracted to or the best in her eyes. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody who regrets being with you and is not attracted to you? No. It is quite literally better to be alone and look inside find who you are and do the self work to be happy with yourself and be okay being with yourself. Only then can you be healthy enough to find somebody who likes you for…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 07:23 PM
3

Look up theantialienationproject on YT. you got the silver bullet. Normal typical and part of the female playbook. Keep yourself together. Do things like working out or other stress relieving things. Surround yourself with friends and a support group. It's going to be tough for a little while but in the end her story and everything will fall apart. The lies can only go for so long until everybody realizes they were duped. During that time you need to remain stoic and calm and not be this evil pe…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 05:06 PM
6

She's just manipulating and weaponizing painful things against you. The truth is she should have come to therapy after the miscarriage. Instead she is shaming you and blaming you. She is the victim of the miscarriage and therefore she can do no wrong with all her following actions. Everything you have done has pushed her into the arms of another man and nothing is her fault. I sincerely hope you see the stupidity of all this and know that you are not to blame for her lack of accountability and h…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 01:40 AM
5

WH ww2 museums, bro, my cup of tea.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 09:09 PM
1

She could be telling the truth. Does she have valid points. You guys have been together so long that you really don't know who each other are. Most people learn who they are in their teens and twenties you guys never had the chance to grow up on your own. That being said he never had the chance to develop good habits and a good way of living that you haven't learned with her. I've learned a lot of good habits by dating a lot of people. Since all you know is each other she is probably comparing y…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 03:10 AM
3

U married a cavetroll too?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 03:42 AM
1

A lot of good advice here for texas. Also she can clear out half of your bank account and asset. I did not want to be a jerk and did not kick her off of the bank account and I tried to set her up with putting the title of the car in her name and investing in her name so she would have an easier transition. What I did not know was she was planning to screw me and she did clean out my bank account and charged up the credit cards. But it is all Community debt until the day you sign the papers so th…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 12:23 AM
13

She was recording me baiting me. But I was recording her back baiting me. She then edits her recordings not considering that I may have recorded the same conversation. Then submits them as discovery to show financial fraud waste and abuse. Good thing I have the other version of the recording
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 11:07 PM
2

Yep don't spread your drama and misery. Tons have been through it or will go through it. No need to share it at work.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 03:26 PM
1

I don't think anybody wants to turn on mine. She was on Tinder trying to hook up with guys they would go on dates and they wouldn't even kiss her. I think I was her last turn
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 12:59 AM
3

Same here. Once she filed for a sort of restraining order has leverage. I could not have communication directly with her. She wanted all communication through her lawyer at her lawyer's advice. Which made her lawyer very wealthy. But it also got me away from having to text her directly and be insulted by her and called late at night and woken up by her. All of my stress went away once I blocked her number. I don't see my kids she ran away with them so I don't need to have communication with her …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:40 PM
1

For people who are going to start divorce make sure you download a copy of adobe professional so you can edit PDFs. Download your bank statements and redact and black out the account numbers and other information. Also on your credit card statements redact the date and location of the purchase. My ex is using these two track where I am and then break into my house and steal my things when she sees that I was somewhere else. She was also logged into one of my accounts to track me off of. Do not u…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 05:02 PM
2

It's control and a way to put on paper that you had an affair so she can show it to everybody in shame you other than that it has no purpose and is not enforceable and even when people agree to not see somebody else in front of the kids for 6 months as it is in most mediation agreements to not confuse the children, nobody abides by it and there's no way to enforce it. It's just Petty pointing the finger and blaming you for everything. Don't argue about it don't defend it just ignore it. She will…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 12:48 AM
2

Yes he needs a better lawyer. My ex does the same thing literally makes up screenshots Photoshop things places things in a certain way to take pictures of them. Broke into my house and strategically placed receipts on the countertop to take pictures of. All to make a story and make a narrative. It's like setting up a crime scene. My lawyer dismantles it pretty fast and goes right for the throat. He knows it's BS her lawyer knows it's BS. The judge has seen this before but it is up to your lawyer…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 04:49 PM
9

Same here. I knew something was wrong with her when she threatened to kill me before we were even married. And I still chose to marry her. I really enjoyed being a father and it is the best thing in my life. It's something I always want to be and it's something I love being. I haven't seen my kids in a year and a half she ran away with them and won't follow court orders. Lots of alienation coming her way and Trauma to my kids. But I will still be there Dad when I see them again and get to play g…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 09:26 PM
4

I think that is a healthy thought. It's not a thought of you wanting her back it's a thought of you wanting her to be part of the family because your kids deserve a family and that's a very good thing for you to think
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 04:56 PM
3

People say you should trust and open up to your partner and be able to be their best friend. But then they lose this facade about you. I think that happened with my wife I opened up to her about my childhood and issues and of course she wrote them all down to use later against me. It's a fine line between finding somebody you can trust and open up to and knowing if they will use it against you or look down on you. It's a risk either way.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 04:54 PM
3

Lol , accountability and consequences. Bicycle dad for the win. Good job . Don't worry about her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 04:17 AM
5

400k of our 401k. Taxes penalties etc. It's all gone. Her choice. I offered her all that $ to mediate she said no. Now there's about 100k of equity to split and no more cash, 150k of debt. Do what you can, hopefully she isn't self-destructive andsuicidakly victimhood with her and the children. I thought I picked somebody to marry who wouldn't do this but in the end it turns out she is just copying her mother and I should have known better. So it's my fault and my price to pay.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 02:25 PM
1

And ACA adult children of Alcoholics for a lot of people here who don't think anything applies to them. By growing up with codependent manipulative and self-sacrificing behavior you have chosen to marry somebody who reflects all of that
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 05:18 PM
5

You have what is called catastrophic thinking. If something bad happens it's literally the end of the world. If you get fired at your worthless if you lose your job you might as well commit suicide if you have a car accident you may as well never drive again. You break your finger, you are finished. Does all this sound about right? Do you know that there are people who don't think this way. That can say it was a failure and it didn't work out but I'm ready to move on and make the best of things …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 05:40 AM
9

In Texas you can file a counter petition so that she cannot withdraw hers and you can get the ball rolling. I urged mine to withdraw her divorce and give us a year to work on the marriage and to save more money to split so she would be in a better financial position and that we might save the marriage and keep the house for the kids. She opted not to and said she had the dirt on me. So I filed a counter petition and decided to no longer stand for the marriage that really enraged her because I ha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:52 AM
1

My sister used a forensic accountant against her husband. It cost $30,000 but was well worth it. In many cases and most of divorces it's not. Yours? I would think so
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 08:50 PM
2

I did the same I socked away some money into the kids 529s before it was all burned away. Your kids will thank you yours from now. The lawyers want that money and they are hungry for it
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 08:48 PM
5

Hubristic and arrogant law firm. They will tell their clients what they want to hear." You will get everything they will lose everything and since you hired us you will win" In the end as I have seen often in many cases the self-representing parent who is broke but who is calm objective and provides facts and provides a loving life for their kids usually walks away winning. Don't you think the Judge is know this as well. Don't you think they know who she hired and why? You will prevail but only …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 04:25 PM
2

Exactly. Get your life together bro. Saavy?
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 12:18 PM
8

I want a friend who will tell me the uncomfortable truth. So I can change those things and not waste my life being that naive. You are right many women have the friends that say you go girl and they don't actually call them out on anything toxic. That's unfortunate
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 04:48 PM
-1

Was she so retarded she didn't think you would actually have receipts for it what non-financial Planet are these people from
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 06:41 AM
9

Most people hire an attorney initially to get the ball rolling for a few thousand and then go pro se to represent themselves. Thank you for your post to help others
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 07:43 PM
4

I agree everything your lawyer said is correct. The buyout part can be negotiated because you would pay half of the closing costs if you were to sell it and it is in the children's interest to stay in the house. But since she makes substantially more than you she could easily offset this. Since you make significantly less this is the last chance you will have to balance out the divorce. The trial and going to court will be lengthy and costly but it looks like it will go that direction and then u…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 07:42 PM
6

Document everything write it down in notes don't let it all just go to your memory video what you can screenshot what you can because one day there's going to be a confrontation and you won't have time to dig it all up. Put all those saved files on a thumb drive for somebody else to keep as well. You know eventually one day something's going to happen with BPD people
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 09:03 PM
7

" you pushed me into the arms of another man"
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 03:07 AM
0

Google this "Warrantless Searches of iPads in Divorce Cases" I'm not going to hold your hand anymore than that. You can use AI to do the rest of the searching for you there are at least 30 divorce cases in The Last 5 Years dealing with invasion of privacy and want most searches and electronic wire tapping that will result in federal and state felony
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 11:29 PM
1

Nope. She'd need a warrant or order from a court. Not even trump can just get your messages and devices like that. Nothing us valid in court and it's possible a FEDERAL felony per text or document depending on who his employer is. She violated his rights and shot herself in the foot. Lots of case law on this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 10:32 PM
-1

Borderline personality disorder on youtube. Audio book SPLITTING. You're in danger. Wake up.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 07:07 PM
0

She is dragging them into the victim roll. Sounds very borderline narcissistic of her. All of her problems are their problems her pain is their pain
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:08 PM
2

Hide all your stuff elsewhere. Computer drives documents passport. Copy kids passports docs medical Keys guns cash... Assume you will get a silveebullet and everything you ever want to see again must be put in storage or another person's house She's planning. You should too. If legal record all the time. Cover your ass. Glad I did! She has an edited recording of our fight she started, I have the unedited recording which tells a very different story. Do not disparage to the kids. They're already …
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:08 PM
2

Illegal wiretapping? Oh boy, case law, 4th amendment, she's fucked
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 07:04 AM
3

And eternal twin flame / I don't need to change or do the work because there's my perfect person who will get along with me forever no matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 12:44 AM
1

I will say that you still have a marriage you two have just Grown Apart like most people do. Absent abuse Affairs and crazy things you still have a good relationship to repair. That being said you have a lot to lose so don't jump to divorce. Both need to do the work and you need to exhaust therapy and other avenues for calling it quits. We have all been in your shoes. Some couples can turn it around My sister sounds like you. Her relationship with my brother-in-law was very lackluster but they d…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 04:34 AM
11

It's a fleeting normal part of refinding yourself. The women want to know they are attractive and desirable. And they are but only for superficial and shallow thing. That one night stand. It doesn't last and it doesn't fix anything. But for men and women it can work to boost your self-esteem temporarily. Ultimately everybody wants a loving secure attachment and connection. Sadly very few are going to find it this way
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 10:18 PM
2

Sounds about right. In general I think people take the easiest path in life and when somebody offers you something it's easy to just take it. If an affair presents itself and you're unhappy might as well say yes to it or if alcohol or gambling makes you feel better it's easy to just keep saying yes to it. That's why it's important to choose somebody of character who we choose to marry and have children with. There are always reasons for an affair or addiction or abuse But ultimately it comes dow…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 10:12 PM
6

Yes head over heels for this guy giving him everything she would never give anybody else but the limmerance is all dopamine.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 04:53 AM
1

Sounds borderline personality disorder. It is often paired with narcissism traits either covert or overt narcissism. The self-righteousness and the victimhood go hand in hand. They can do no wrong if they are the victim of your violence so therefore all of their threats and attacks on you are because they are a victim and Justified. It's the best way to look at the world you can do whatever you want to anybody if you are the victim We I'll have compassion for you you have to remember anything yo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 09:10 PM
3

Unsure why down voted. But this girl is telling the truth. What do all my crazy exs have in common? ME. I'm picking them. But I'm also dumping them at the first red flag. Now....to figure out why I pick them. We all have our magnets
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:42 PM
11

Kids need a STABLE non addict home. Even if it's only one parent in an apartment
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:34 PM
6

She's an addict. Alcohol gambling whatever, they love the addiction more than themselves or you. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 07:33 PM
3

Same here. I was playing video games with my brother before I met her and she said I wasn't allowed to do that once we were getting married. And I kind of agreed. Now my brother asked me do you want to get online and play with me and I said heck yeah I grabbed a drink and we played all night until midnight with nobody nagging at me having a great night with my brother. Just like you time is precious. There's not enough of it to reconnect with my family the way I want to so I'm making the most I …
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 02:32 PM
6

I think that's part of becoming a mother and a father is that you change I know I changed after my first son was born I thought I would still be a very outgoing cool dude but I became more domestic and of course my testosterone went lower. My imagines the same for women you really don't want her out and about and partying and doing all the things she used to do in college so there are changes that have to occur for you to raise your kids well
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 04:19 AM
14

Social media comparison bias My ex stayed up till 3am idolizing Instagram lives and looking at beautiful homes and a life that doesn't resemble her own. ....her life and family In a nice 4,000 ft beautiful home in one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city and her being a SAHM that didn't do crap for ho.eschool or chores. She still miserable was miserable and will be miserable no matter where she goes. Some people just....are miserable. Me? I'll be happy with anything
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:05 PM
2

My W had access to our joint checking account she cleared it out to the tune of almost $20,000 wiping it clean. Then of course I couldn't pay child support the next month or several months afterwards and they took me to court. The funds that she took were eventually ruled as future child support. She was very pissed and wants to petition that order and take me back to court again stating that I didn't directly pay her child support. Which is true she took it out for herself In hindsight when you…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 04:24 PM
1

Yup. Texas is 50 50. Slow Down. She has a rougher road ahead than you. You aren't forced to sell anything. Community debt is 50 50.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 06:13 PM
11

It's how you loved yourself. You love yourself and understand yourself differently. Before you were naively unaware of your true needs and assumed that girl would fill all.of them. Impossible. But the 2nd relationship..... you know better, and accept them as they are. A human. Not a goddess.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 05:39 AM
1

I will search that subreddit. He's a Mormon coworker. Yeah
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 10:55 PM
5

Same. Had 1st kid, plopped him In front of a laptop so she could cruise internet all day. Thrn frantically and streessfilly get dressed and start dinner before I come home. Eventually she ho.eschools 3 kids and they are YEARS behind and illiterate at 11yrs old. I filed after coming home from. 2 jobs, 23hr day, to a mess and her in pajamas at noon. I let divorce lapse due to special needs kid. She Eventually found her soul mate on Tinder and filed with Silver Bullet. Still going through it. She r…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 04:22 PM
7

Good update. Guys, you're gonna get through this. One day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:41 PM
1

It's OK to have grief. But you know when it's time to stop grieving and go to the next phase.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:37 PM
5

Nice post. My therapist said you need to learn to love yourself, I was like WTF does that even mean?!? A year later I get it. Do what you like, focus on you, pursue YOUR passions. Find friends and eventually a girl will see the blossomed and happy you, and pounce on you. But you're no there yet.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:36 PM
3

That's a win
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 11:34 PM
5

You're on the right track but beware of extending her equity debt to you. You want ALL obligations paid off or sorted out. Some people can transfer mortgage some can't. She can agree to assume it with a 1% fee, but may get denied later, then you're stuck. Or she can promise to pay off debt later etc....then cant The downside to divorce is yeah, you rent, like all.your $ and give up the cushy 2% mortgage. Starting over in life. Hopefully her family can buy you out. Either way it sounds like it's …
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 03:58 PM
3

This is good advice remember your next girlfriend or your next wife will see how you treated that bad one. And if you treated that bad one with respect it shows a lot about you. It also advertises to the next person that you are taking the high road and if you have the conflict you're going to be a good guy about things
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 03:28 AM
3

What was the outcome of you showing this proof of forgery and breaking of orders? That's pretty Brazen of them
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 04:05 PM
1

Good because people's reputation preceeds them. The mpo is there to protect the Command Staff not to protect her. It is basically for the commander to say that he told you to stay away or told her to stay away and their butts are covered if anything happens. It is also only enforceable on base but is often used as leverage in a divorce to say that there is an order out there. There is no burden of proof on it anybody can issue an mpo for any reason. A civilian Court may not understand this so it…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:04 AM
3

You are still in the pain chapter of this. Do not do say or text anything that people here wouldn't do. In 10 years you were going to look back and say I should not have done this and I should not have done that and instead I should have done these things or those things. Right now you are too confused to make a good decision so don't make decisions. Don't say things out of anger jealousy or hurt or bitterness. Follow only wise advice. For now be a good person and focus on yourself who knows wha…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 02:52 PM
1

I would screenshot it. My ex told the court that I set up her Tinder account. Totally impossible since you need your own phone to do it and her phone was always face locked. But my friend found her Tinder profile and other online dating profiles and screenshotted all of them. This is valuable to show that she was just making lies and drama. It can shut them down pretty quickly. Even if it's an at fault state I would document everything I find just in case down the road she starts making up alleg…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 01:01 AM
2

OP did start fresh. He just has someone with no sense of self chasing him, even AFTER divorce
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:58 AM
1

We all feel that way. With a good marriage, both avoid the 4 Horseman. With a bad one, YOU are the problem. Even your ex probably doesn't want a divorce but is a prisoner of her own perception and projection. It's her Choice, it's your Choice how to react to a bad situation. Choose wisely, put You first, grieve the loss, then make a Choice to get stronger and forget her projections.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 03:56 PM
2

Schlage fe695 Camelot. Cannot be locked picked by somebody who files an mpo on you. Your story is very similar to many who have gone before you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 09:18 PM
1

If your business is worth $500,000 and the 401ks and assets are worth $500,000. Then you would just give her the 401K and assets. If things don't even out then you make the best offer you can
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 05:18 AM
1

Whoever everybody is. Everybody deserves to know who their biological genetic parents are. And hiding it from them only causes pain later in life
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 05:00 AM
1

Deep in your subconscious you knew you would be eventually next Better now than later
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 03:45 AM
4

Bad advice. Do not move out or abandon the home OP is making wise decisions and being very common careful with everything
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 06:45 PM
6

She was always like this. It was just waiting to come out at the right time. Better now than when you're in the hospital sick or in a nursing home
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 02:31 AM
10

We are not talking about you we are now talking about the best welfare of your child and in the opinion of many therapists the child deserves to know who their real father is before that father is dead. They have to have a chance to connect with their real parents and to know the truth of their DNA and what medical predispositions they have. We are not talking about feelings anymore we are talking about actual medical health
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 08:55 PM
1

In TX only in rare elderly or disability cases. As in Literally unable to type talk or eat. There may be temp spousal agreed by YOU to help spouse get a job for a few months if YOU surprised her by filing for divorce. But most TX courts know the woman is filing for div, so SHE knew she'd have to get a job and if she still doesn't or hasn't prepared for HER divorce, then she likely never will get a job in the eyes of the court. Texas does not want to create a welfare system where men hide their t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 06:27 PM
4

Record if it's legal in your state. Document threats. Do not say or do anything you don't want the world to see, she sounds vindictive. Stay healthy my friend
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 01:04 AM
1

You wisely used the word boundaries. I think you need to do more with that regard
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 08:29 PM
1

Lots of books on boundaries. Amazon or audible Your ex may be borderline. Look up youtubes on it. Splitting: divorcing a borderline You divorce but you cannot leave her your responsible for her and you must continue working for her the rest of your life. This is because for the Bordeelines do not want abandonment or betrayal you are always hers and as long as you have kids together she thinks you are indebted to her. She will be shame in manipulation to keep you where you are. Using your past De…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 09:23 PM
4

Boundaries. Learn more read more. Set your own. Role model to your kids to not enable or tolerate bad behavior or THEY WILL repeat it. Sure you made mistakes and she will SHAME you over them to control you. No more. Get your own therapy, own your past and make a new future. Do the bare min for her, she's an adult. And vague posting victimhood on FB gets you nothing, her friends don't care, and those who do are also likely unemployed and going nowhere. Focus on you and the kids
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 05:38 PM
1

It will cost you significant amounts of money if you don't do it yourself. Just go get a key code for an adobe product online for 10 bucks and use the redact function in Adobe to go through all of your bills and statements. These bills and statements will be in some lawyers computer so you don't want your address account numbers and personal information out there for the world to download and hack. Identity theft is very easy from all of these sorts of documents falling into the wrong hands. Unl…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 11:04 PM
3

Nothing is worse than a girl who's done Everything with her Exs and wants you to Do it That Way like they did. Be careful what you wish for.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 10:37 PM
2

In TX it's community debt. Go into necessary debt on credit cards and loans and she pays half when doing the final breakdown of debt vs assets. Lawyers know this so they'll milk both of you promising the other party will pay everything. It's all 50 50 unless YOU agree to a different % of debt assets. Mediation will cost a few thousand at least. You're not getting out of this under 10k and you'll likely spend 20-30k as most in TX do.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 10:12 PM
3

Redact information in Adobe. Send PDFs of bills but take out dates locations. For phone bill redact what you need let them complain and petition. It's just harassment unless you.legit blew 200k in Vegas in marital funds w some girl. So harass them back and refuse delay or redact
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:32 PM
2

Hippaa in my state. Good luck. Waste of time. Tell them to get lost
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:57 AM
24

She's fantasizing and daydreaming as an escape from her reality. It's not an indictment of you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 04:09 AM
3

He is going to need all of this and Discovery anyways with lawyers. So better get started on it now. Also set up a new bank accounts that she is not a co-user with and new credit cards she is not on. You need to do all of this before a divorce agreement is in place with the lawyers. I would also cancel joint accounts right now. Have your paycheck deposited into your own account from this point on. I was told to do these things and I thought I would be amicable and nice by not doing it. I was wro…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 08:33 PM
1

You're doing the right thing. Avoiding conflict until she can figure out how to be a non-conflicting. We all know the situation you're in and we have all been there. Keep doing what you're doing everything you do will be used against you everything will be recorded everything will be before a judge and other people so make good smooth and wise decisions. Your kid needs you to be the stable parent
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 07:55 PM
1

There's not much we can do here. But there are a lot of YouTube videos on high conflict and personality disorders and relationships. And how to deal with them. As in don't engage and don't fight because it will solve nothing. All it will do is hurt you and the family more. Divorce is a very long and hard process so you have to be sure and be ready
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 03:36 PM
0

She's stressed and tired and at her wits end. 2..you likely are too. Are there parents or family nearby who can help? I'd be a crazed person if I had to watch an autistic kid for a few hours, you are doing it full time. Give her and yourself some compassion and grace. Sleep. Recharge. Give each other space to do that whole balancing child care. Learn to work together now because it will be tougher after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 06:00 AM
1

Most dontvrealize that they burn the bridge they're on when they to to command with blackmail. Let her do it. Then recover
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 02:59 AM
1

You're a good dad. My oldest boy has epilepsy and I stayed. I filed but then didn't go through with it. I just figured I would be living in another bedroom until all my kids are 18 and it wouldn't be ideal but at least they would have two parents and be taken care of quickly physically at least somebody could cook and clean and take care of them because while she was in the house she was talking to other men and checked out Ultimately she filed for divorce because she found the right one on Tind…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 03:40 PM
13

She was begging the question. Probably wanted you to ask Do you need help or What are you doing after all that work? It's called conversation and communication. Lifting or STFUing doesn't apply when your wife just wants to talk to her husband. It's called normal. So don't read into it. Not a shit test.
/r/askMRP17/02/24 02:11 AM
4

Oh dear God. The antidote to deadbedrooms in a hilarious way. Awesome writing.
/r/askMRP19/10/23 06:16 PM
1

Thanks! My wife told me she should get ALL the equity since I'd keep the house and it's a GOOD LONG term investment. Sounded like BS.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 03:06 AM
2

When you say buy out the other one that is basically taking the equity and splitting it in half right. Then you pay that person half of the equity?
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 06:51 PM
1

If she is the mom of your kids she deserves a chance at therapy and making the relationship whole. To get better recognize bad behaviors and be a better mom and wife. Like an alcoholic going to rehab. People can change and drastic ways. But they need a chance and they need to push and they need an ultimatum.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:56 AM
1

Ok thanks. Yeah fair enough. I don't notice those details I just get his message of not getting Into drama
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:04 AM
3

Thank you for sharing. Men need support. Love for your kids and grandkids. Do not let your problems define you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:36 PM
1

What things do you disagree with? I think a lot of what he says makes sense. I can't buy a McLaren but I see his point about enjoying life
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 05:30 PM
4

Just spilled my drink
/r/askMRP18/07/23 01:06 AM
1

Amazing link. I don't watch TV or shows. But this snippet has so much to it. So many questions of what's right, wrong, pride, dignity, and the artists own comments about society as a whole. In the end I'm guessing his Wife? Doesn't want him anymore?
/r/askMRP10/07/23 01:30 PM
1

Same. Lay low. Check the bar out before I order a drink. Know your audience.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/23 09:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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