Military Divorce

bk2747 · 2026-03-27T03:59:33+00:00

Fellow AD soldier here,

No kids and she makes her own money, the Army has a spousal support regulation HOWEVER, that only goes into play if A) she goes after it and B) the divorce addendum says otherwise. I beat it because my paperwork specifically states “both parties waive any right to spousal support or alimony.”

You’re going to have to fight a contested divorce, I say it’s worth it. No kids is a blessing and will probably save your ass. You also need to fight for your retirement and TSP. You were the service member, not her. And again, she’s not unemployed. Find a good lawyer and fight.

As a matter of fact, yall pretty much make the same amount of money, there shouldn’t be any alimony. She works full time, you work full time, you’re less than $20k apart from each other, no kids, but she gets 6 years of alimony?????? Fuck outta here.

You might not like this one but if she’s awarded your retirement, you need to switch to the guard/reserves and go do something else. I would not recommend working for 25% of your base pay. Drop to the guard, move back to your hometown, apply for GS positions, use your GI bill and go blue collar, make her ass wait another 30+ years. You getting out on guard retirement would be the biggest middle finger and she wouldn’t be able to touch your new pension. Fuck it

chalupa45 · 2026-03-26T23:45:35+00:00

I would argue that she is only entitled to half of what was contributed from start of marriage to separation. An attorney will tell you what’s what for your state. I’d look at N.C.G.S 50-20 ((division of marital assets) and 50-16.1a (alimony and post sep sup) law. Thankfully 10/10 rule definitely does not apply here. Get that divorce decree in Deers ASAP! Update your records ASAP!

My divorce was mutually agreed, so unfortunately I have no insight on the battlefield of the courts. Good luck!

Military here as well.

notconvinced780 · 2026-03-26T16:51:03+00:00

If she makes around the same or more than you, its likely you won’t owe ANY alimony. It’s the difference in Salaries that will drive alimony. If she makes more than you, she could owe YOU alimony!

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-03-26T16:19:18+00:00

Financial split can be done on the back of a napkin. She gets half of the marital estate, which includes your military pension for the time you were married. Your state has laws about how much and how long spousal support lasts. Plug in your numbers using your state's spousal support calc website to see if her $1k/month aligns with that, or if it's wishful thinking.

If you are on the hook for spousal support, the only option you have is paying her off with a lump-sum payment at a discount (about 50-60% of what you would pay over time). It prevents her from coming back later for more SS when it's ending, which happens quite often.

ConfidentHyena2662 · 2026-03-26T14:52:07+00:00

Speak to JAG and speak to a civilian lawyer. There is a lot of information that we don’t know about her or your financial status that would impact the divorce settlement. Ultimately as a service member it’s probably going to be hard to not split your stuff in half. Alimony will probably be a given since she could probably prove that every PCS move she had to restart her career over again. So you are probably not going to win the alimony battle. But the percentage might be less than $1000.

If you’re planning to retire. I would be concerned about what percentage she could take from your retirement. My last CSM had to stay in the Army for what I believe was 30 years because him and first wife were married for 10 years. DFAS cuts her a check every time he gets paid. So at when he got to 20 years, she had half his retirement. And she cheated on him multiple times. He had to serve ten more just get what little pension he could. For every 2.5 % percent you get in base pay. She gets half that. It’s really fucking depressing if you are the service member. All those hard days and she gets a piece for having the “hardest job in the Army”.

Federal_Repair1094 · 2026-03-26T14:39:26+00:00

Part 2 response:

I’d more fight the half pension. At this stage, with only 12 years of service you are at 24% or 30% of your 20 year pension. That is all she should get of your pension.

Also make it be half of your TSP value on date of divorce. Not the future value of it and pay her off now if you can.

Once divorce get a 18 month tour to a tax free combat zone and make bank.

Federal_Repair1094 · 2026-03-26T14:35:33+00:00

I hate to break it to you, but with your base pay, BAH, and BAS you are making like $100k a year. So to make the math easier let’s say you make $24k more than her a year, so $96k net. Half of that $24k is $12k, divide that by 12 months and it’s a $1k a month.

Right on the money. Fight back a little but take the deal. She could probably squeeze out a couple hundred dollars more out of you with precise math.

Feeling-Birthday7388 · 2026-04-22T01:43:50+00:00

Hello my husband has a friend who is a medically retired Marine who's wife left him after he sustained a traumatic brain injury. He had to relearn how to walk, talk, and go to the bathroom again. It has been several years since his wife left but she has full custody due to his lengthy recovery. She won't settle their divorce and it's about to get dismissed again if they can't figure it out a settlement. He was been taken advantage of 3x from different lawyers who don't specialize in military divorce. Would someone please recommend someone for him? She has lawyer friends and he is racking up so much debt over legal fees and nothing has changed. I feel he's getting depressed and giving up on life. I speak to him often about getting another lawyer. Does anyone know a good military divorce lawyer in CA that is ethical and strong and won't rip him off? His ex is a master manipulator who has access to free lawyer friends that enable her to engage in legal abuse. Please help him! He's in CA.

Dazzling_Ruin1135 · 2026-04-25T17:06:34+00:00

Military pension division in divorce is one of the most nuanced and stressful parts of the process — and most people don't realize how much the Frozen Benefit Rule, present value, and marital share calculations can affect the outcome. I built a free calculator to help service members and spouses understand how these factors interact before they walk into a lawyer's office. Military Divorce Calculator

Title	Military Divorce
Author	mwmcfadden
Upvotes	9
Comments	20
Date	March 26, 2026 2:08 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1s48h15/military_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/military-divorce.1576435 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576435

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