Codependency..

Capable_Luck_2817 · 2024-01-24T19:42:32+00:00

Learn to love yourself enough that you don’t need anyone else. Take some time away from dating to work on self-improvement. That’s the only way to break codependency. You have to reach a point where you won’t accept any relationships that won’t improve your already kickass life.

furiousmustache · 2024-01-23T01:13:41+00:00

Therapy. Nothing anyone says here is going to help as much as therapy. That red pill crap is just going to end up with you being alone.

probebeta · 2024-01-22T22:02:50+00:00

I found that taking the red pill helps. Work out and look good, this will give you the option of dating multiple women simultaneously. The more women you meet the easier it gets to not get attached to one. This is kind of opposite of what some other comments are saying here, but Im finding it's serving me okay. I think one thing worth realizing is that getting over the ex will not necessarily change how you approach your next relationship. If you get too attached, it can be the same problem, women don't find it attractive, doesn't help you. Si you might as well condition yourself not to get oneitis

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-01-22T20:57:55+00:00

Been there before. The second date I went on was with a girl I really thought I clicked with. Then she started acting off in communications. I caught myself making excuses for her in my head and freaked out. I slammed the door on dating. I realized I was willing to the exact same behaviors that allowed my wife to crash my world.

rav1ch · 2024-01-22T19:05:34+00:00

Take a break from dating for a year or two. You will learn to enjoy your company.
Don't rush into another relationship as you will repeat the cycle of misery.

This is what I learnt from my mistake.

ChillaxBrosef · 2024-01-22T18:31:07+00:00

First step is finding and accepting the things you can’t change as who you are as a person. Then, discovering the things you can change to be the best version of yourself. After you accomplish those things, there’s a good chance that co-dependency won’t be an issue, as you are a strong person within yourself.

Great post, admire your transparency and honesty. You’ve went through a lot, and are processing and that’s natural and okay. Good luck OP

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2024-01-22T18:12:46+00:00

You are already reading… No more Mr. nice guy, so that is a good start.

I would also strongly recommend the following: - The subtle art of not giving a f*ck - The codependant’s user manual.

new2life_2023 · 2024-01-22T16:33:23+00:00

I started dating while separated and met a great woman during this time. My divorce has finalised and it’s now 4 months in with the new woman.

I would say this is something I face everyday. I have realised that I am someone who believes that humans are social animals and sharing life with someone is a good thing and a state I want to be in.

I am working hard to do the things mentioned in this thread

Finding and investing in my own hobbies. Not betting too much on this new relationship - this is very hard as I have fallen for the new woman. Making sure I am showing up as the new person I want to be ie learning from my mistakes of the past.

It’s not easy

Fwooply · 2024-01-22T16:21:41+00:00

I dated while separated. Dating was unstable and spiraled easily. I was depressed, defeated, and clingy.

It's debatable whether or not it helped. Dating was definitely a temporary reprieve. It got me out of a bottomless pit. It helped me see how other people who are "not my ex" lived and approached relationships. It taught me new habits and what I really needed to do to heal and level up.

Eventually, I realized I need to do the work. It's an internal game. I need to address some issues, get my mojo back, and date with self-respect. A girl will never respect me if I don't respect myself.

Dunno if any of this resonates. Best of luck with it.

gorillavstiger · 2024-01-22T14:49:31+00:00

If you're feeling codependent and latching on to other women, it's time to take a break from women, honestly. Give yourself one year of not dating.

Hang out with your friends more and go do social things without the intent of dating to get your fix so you're not lonely.

And therapy, talking to someone may help you see new insights into yourself.

Best of luck

sak144 · 2024-01-22T13:33:26+00:00

[ Removed by Reddit ]

upvotersfortruth · 2024-01-22T11:52:22+00:00

codependency is a mofo. kept me in the husband mindset long after the divorce - Mr. Johnny on the spot to help with any little thing - embarrassing.

edit - move past it - 1. recognize it's afflicting you, 2. therapy

Title	Codependency..
Author	Miserable_Ad_1172
Upvotes	16
Comments	32
Date	January 22, 2024 11:37 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/19ctof8/codependency/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/codependency.1243518 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243518

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