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RevolutionaryLaw8854 Archive

View 0 posts and 1,152 comments by RevolutionaryLaw8854 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

💯 set boundaries of things you will or won’t be doing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 10:30 PM
1

My income tripled after my divorce. Only 2 more years left of alimony. Married 24 years. Divorced 8.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 10:00 AM
6

Here’s the problem. When someone wants someone else, let them. Because, now ever single fucking time shit gets difficult she’s going to mutter to herself “I should have left.” She’s the one that made the choice to break a clear boundary. Now, she doesn’t want to have to face the consequences of her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 02:42 AM
2

It’s all a business negotiation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 01:28 AM
3

Bruh just fucking stop. The only thing you talk about is the kids. The only concern you should have is about getting the 50% parenting time that the children need from you. That’s your only focus. Everything else is a business negotiation. Your job is to not give her anything that she will use against her. Basically 50% of everything should be yours (or more). She wants the house, fine she buys you out from the equity in the house. She’s going to be cold as ice. Be ready
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 10:15 AM
3

She’s your mortal fucking enemy. Treat her as such. Who gives a flying fuck what she says? Let he say whatever she wants. That doesn’t make it true. What’s your business? Say you’re a plumber with 2 or 3 guys working for you. You’re not a business, you own your job. If you go away the business goes away. Say she says (again don’t listen to them) that your business/job is worth $1MM. Well, she’ll say you owe her $500k. You and I say it’s worth nothing. Because the second you leave, the business/j…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 12:17 AM
12

Bruh quit stepping on your dick. Your ego is going to end you. Kids are adults. They don’t count. This is purely a financial transaction. Get it over with and move on to becoming a better human
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 04:17 AM
2

Jesus fuck dude - leave your kids the fuck out of it. Do what’s best for your kids, not what’s best for your ego. Always out their interests first. You’re not going to successfully damage their mother in their eyes. She’s their mom. Don’t make them pick sides. Be consistent with parenting. You and her have to be on the same page. Be present and consistent. That’s all they want and need
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 10:30 AM
4

Yeah. Don’t fucking listen. It’s all lies and guess what? No body cares! No body. This time next year, people won’t remember a damn thing. Then, if she keeps riling about you, people will get bored of that and start ignoring her. Imagine you go to Home Depot and you run into some acquaintance of yours. Imagine that he starts telling you all kinds of stuff about his ex-wife and how horrible she was and she did this and she did that. Would you care? Nope. You’d try to nope out of the conversation …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 01:25 AM
6

2 years. No kids. What’s to issue in the divorce. Divide by 2 and peace the fuck out
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:05 PM
18

She’s the one that’s going to get a wake up call. Get a lawyer and stop being a white knight. The kids life will change, but if you’ve been their primary caregiver, should should continue. 50/50 will be likely and she will likely owe you spousal support and child support. Fight like hell. And record everything. She’s going to paint you as an abuser. And, get ready to discover she’s been fucking someone else
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 01:24 PM
1

Unless the other spouse needs employer sponsored health insurance, legal separation makes little sense
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/26 12:59 AM
6

She’s a special kind of stupid
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 12:53 AM
134

Should be felony murder. Her felony (false accusation of rape) let to the death of another person - felony murder. Much more severe charge than manslaughter
/r/MensRights14/07/26 03:11 AM
6

Quit the “pick me dance”. Quit giving her any attention. Nothing. Hello, goodbye are about the extent of your communication. Get to the gym. Lift. Walk. No drugs or alcohol at all. Eat right. Read “no more mister nice guy” You’re going to have to learn that she is not your friend. She is the enemy. Treat her as such.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 03:28 PM
3

Nope. Like the song says “shes gone like the wind”
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 11:49 PM
2

Yes. Good ones are super busy and will be lacking in hand holding. Find someone that you trust and then trust them
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 07:36 PM
2

Nesting is bullshit. If you’re divorcing, get divorced. Split the assets. Buy her out of the house. If it’s 50/50 custody she’s going to get child support. Your state most likely has an online calculator. Figure out your state precedents for alimony. Many states you’re looking at 7 years. Some state’s permanent. Give us your financials and we can give you a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 03:53 PM
5

They are coming 💯
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 10:07 AM
1

Be strong. The judge will strongly advise reaching a settlement. Fine, I’ll settle for 50/50 custody and being the residential parent. All parenting decisions require 2 yes votes to happen or the other is not required to pay. All extra curricular expenses are 50/50. Right of first refusal is a parent needs to be away. You get the picture
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 03:46 PM
12

Here’s the deal. She has to refi, assume the mortgage, take a HELOC, get money from her parents, or pay you with money from her portion of the 401k. Because when you’re on the mortgage, good luck getting your own place. Good luck when she misses a payment. And, how are you going to feel when she moves a new dude in? If you’re getting divorced, then get divorced and several all ties. Anything short of that is just silly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 03:30 PM
20

Quit drinking. Quick hooking up. Those are empty dopamine sugar hits. Find a hobby, lift, walk, meditate, read anything, focus on your career, become a person of substance. The kind of person that a quality partner finds attractive
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 10:20 AM
2

You’re not moving the kid unless she’s not fit to have any custody. Sucks, but you asked for a reality check
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 10:06 AM
4

Just say no. Thats it. You don’t have to explain why it’s “no”. It’s just no
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 10:42 PM
1

How much would you pay to buy your neighbors mattress for the place you are moving to? Zero dollars? Cause that’s what I’m paying. Shit is worthless. I took my clothes, tools and my tool chest
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 10:54 PM
12

She’s got hens in her ear telling her she’s going to get this and she’s going to get that
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 08:35 PM
8

Be present. Be firm and consistent. When she turns 23, she see the wisdom of your ways.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 02:32 AM
2

I’d suggest getting a job.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 12:04 AM
4

Ummm. Stop financially supporting them. Please learn about boundaries. There’s a very good book from Dr Henry Cloud - Boundaries. You cannot control them. But you can control your response to them. When she provides alcohol to underage people, document it and then leave the house. Set some financial boundaries, you should only be paying for the basics. This is a marathon and a years long war. You don’t win every battle. Pick them. Kids are smart, they are being selfish now, but if you’re firm an…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 10:35 AM
3

You have an ethical obligation to tell the affected spouse. You are not a gatekeeper of the truth. She has a right to know the truth. What she does with that information is up to her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:28 PM
1

Yes! It’s very very common.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 04:58 PM
6

Yes it’s a TERRIBLE idea. Here’s why. You get disabled. You’ll need money. You die, she has the money. She remarries, alimony will end. Don’t do it. 50/50 on everything. Cash, debt, equity, retirement. Force the sale of the house or demand a buyout. She can “pay” you some of the equity by not taking her share of the retirement. You’re owed $125,000 from the home. She’s owed $75,000 from the retirement. You keep the retirement. She keeps the home. She needs to have daddy (or her next victim) pay …
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 07:30 AM
3

Your wife’s a broke ass gambling addict that doesn’t fuck you (or you don’t fuck her). You have no kids. So….what’s the question?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 03:06 AM
1

What’s not to like about that? You want a free weekend? Hire a sitter, go to a friends or family for a sleepover. Trust me, she’s going to not like it after a while
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 08:50 PM
18

You’ve married a child.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 07:10 PM
1

Here’s your pots. You have assets (cash, retirement, real estate, property, investments, businesses) Debts (cars, personal loans, credit cards, HELOCs) Add them up, divide by two. You can trade them as you see fit. Many wives “want to keep the home” but there’s no cash to pay you your equity with. So, many people will trade a position in one for the other. Say there’s $200k equity in the house. You’re each owed $100k. Say there’s $400k in combined retirement. You each should have $200k at the en…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 05:36 AM
7

If we start from a place of reasonable and they start from a place of crazy, when we settle, we'll be somewhere between reasonable and crazy! Which is still crazy. Ray Liotta’s character in Marriage Story
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 03:29 AM
6

Their job is to reach an agreement that both parties agree to. You propose 50/50. Let them justify anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 03:24 AM
1

So she’s going to give you her equity in the house, in cash, as a buyout from her pension. Am I right? If so, what’s the question? Take the money and run
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 03:15 AM
4

She’s obviously a moron
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 07:08 PM
1

Exactly. So many men here have learned behavior where they have to explain all of their answers. Just say no and that’s it. It’s not his problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 12:34 PM
3

You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 06:50 PM
5

Keep doing what you’re doing. When she becomes a fully functional adult (age 23/24) she’ll understand everything and what you’ve done for her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 04:57 PM
1

Physician but I work an insane amount.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 08:14 PM
19

Post over in r/divorce and reverse the genders. Then ask for what the hens suggest
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 01:07 AM
5

Ummmm. Forget the divorce. Your buddy needs some serious career counseling. My kids working summer jobs home from college make more than that. How could anyone survive on $1600/mo
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 02:39 AM
11

I view it as a “stupid tax.” Whenever I do something stupid that cost me money, I know I’ll be paying my “stupid tax.” And let it go. I view alimony as my stupid tax for marrying her, and have learned to let those feeling go. She does not get to have control over me. So, I don’t give her control to “make me mad”
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 12:16 AM
1

What do you care what she can or cannot afford? Get your money, the rest is on her
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 08:18 PM
3

Don’t sweat it. I was making $350/yr. She was a SAHM. Now I make $975,000 and she’s still getting the same spousal support. It goes away Aug 2028 🤑
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 10:55 PM
7

I’d spend $75,000 in legal fees to make sure she has to pay 100% of those credit card bills. Accountability is foreign concept to these trifling ****
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:02 AM
2

You know when the police say you have the right to remain silent, anything and everything can be used against you? They’re serious. We all take that advice and STFU. OP’s wife isn’t recording him to help him. She’s recording him to collect evidence against him. So here’s an idea- STFU. Nothing good comes from this
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:12 AM
6

Say absolutely. Then literally say nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:06 AM
1

And you should do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 09:46 PM
7

The default should be 50/50 unless there are extenuating circumstances
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 03:38 PM
5

Go to the gym. I’m serious
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 03:34 AM
2

Bruh. Make your Reddit comments and posts private.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 03:02 AM
1

There’s only 2 things in this world you can control - your thoughts and your actions. Be cold and learn to “gray rock” her
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 02:36 AM
7

Stop talking to her. Stop reacting to her. It’s a business negotiation. Treat it as such.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 11:51 PM
5

Sell the house and split the $250,000. Divide the 401k. The child support is a state calculation. Your income may be more than the calculation. You each have $125,000 cash and $175,000 retirement. So really just negotiating on alimony amount and duration. I’d argue for a lower amount over a longer time and bet she’ll remarry. Say she wants $4,000/mo for 7 years - $336,000 offer $3000/mo for 10 years - $360,000. And remember inflation. That amount gets easier to cover and your income naturally in…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 08:50 PM
17

Don’t do that. You die she has all your money You become disabled -she has all your money and you really fucking need it She remarried a wealthy dude - she has all your money and doesn’t need it. Your job situation changes and you make less money and need money. So, get 50/50 and make her live on an actual budget every month. Make her buy you out of the house. Make her never remarry while cashing your checks. Alimony can be terminated if she remarried or cohabitates. Alimony can be modified if y…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 06:58 PM
5

My income nearly tripled after I cut the dead weight. My monthly expenses decreased even after paying her alimony. So much better off. If she knew how much I make, she’d be fucking PISSED
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 04:14 AM
7

You know why divorce is expensive?? It’s worth it
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:40 PM
4

Kids are easy. They need your presence. That’s it. The rest is gravy. Build a lego together. Watch a movie in bed. Go fishing off a bridge for an hour or two. Bake cookies or corn bread (one of my kids favorite). It’s really not hard. Just be present
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:02 PM
18

From the movie “Marriage Story” Ray Liotta’s character Jay Marotta: If we start from a place of reasonable and they start from a place of crazy, when we settle, we'll be somewhere between reasonable and crazy! Which is still crazy!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 01:05 AM
5

Right. Thats my point. You tell her- you can have $125,000 or we can set it all on fire, and will probably end up the same. It’s her choice. And when she makes it high conflict - you burn the fucking pile of money
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 11:28 PM
6

What are you fighting about? A divorce is 4 things- Custody and parenting plan - should be 50/50 Child Support - should be a formula Division of assets - should be 50/50. In your case sell the house - $125,000 to each and $35,000 in debt to each and go from there Alimony - very much locally determined and your attorney should help. Your ex needs to be aware that the $250,000 can be divided in 2 for each to have $125,000 or given to the attorneys- her choice. What’s the hangup?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 09:11 PM
2

Listen to this guy
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 05:07 PM
1

The expectation is 50/50 on everything (reasonable) - start there. She’s gonna start at crazy. So, when you end up you’ll be somewhere between reasonable and crazy, which is still crazy - Ray Liotta in Love and Marriage
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 08:40 PM
3

Companionship is healthiest reason. Co-dependency and requiring external validation is one of the unhealthy reasons. I don’t begrudge men that do it. But, it seldom is “better” than staying single.
/r/MensRights12/05/26 12:08 PM
21

Asset split should be 50/50. No questions asked. Find a single case here where the primary earner got more than 50/50. Custody, again should be 50/50. You’ll create a parenting plan. Then child support. Your state probably has a calculator on line. Thats plug and play. Finally, spousal support. You should be entitled to spousal support, it’s a negotiated amount over some time. Very much local rules apply with huge differences by local. These are 4 things that make a divorce settlement. Want some…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:27 AM
2

Sell the underlying asset.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 08:26 PM
1

Dr Cloud’s “Boundaries” is a must read. Here’s how it’s done. You set a boundary with your exwife an inform her that anytime she communicates with you about another than the child, you will walk away, hang up, or not respond. Ending the communication. Another boundary is, when you get intoxicated at a party I will leave. You will be rest for yourself the rest of the evening. This is boundary setting. Not sure how this ends a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 05:25 PM
1

Stop answering her. You can leave all of her bullshit messages on “read”
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:39 PM
7

Please erase “she said/she thinks/she wants/ she asked” from your lexicon. But her wants and needs are no longer your concern. You worry about your kids and yourself. No one else
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:41 AM
6

They all walk around with those fucking Stanley cups. They ain’t full of nobody. We all know they’re fucking drunks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 09:15 PM
2

Avoidant? She did you a favor. Take some time and grieve. Take more time in therapy to help understand why you would choose to be with an avoidant. Make sure to take steps to never repeat these mistakes again. It’s okay to be alone
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:24 PM
6

Nobody care about your problems and half the people are glad you have them. Thats why we tell people to get a therapist. I
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 10:25 PM
1

No worries. Just lots and lots of cause for your appeal. Judges want settlements. They don’t like trials. And they really don’t like getting reversed on appeal
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 09:44 PM
3

I preferred mowing the grass and detailing my cars. My lawn and cars are 🔥🔥🔥
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 04:16 AM
2

Had she been served?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 02:53 AM
9

Read about Silver Bullet Divorce. She’s got a plan to ruin you. Stay away from her and record every interaction with her
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:52 PM
10

She stared going on dates with her BF
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 12:52 PM
8

Tell her she needs to leave. See if she leaves. She won’t. So why the fuck would you? And want to fucking scream every time I hear “my wife says I have to” Bruh, stop listening to her. Shes the enemy
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:33 AM
3

Find a new counselor. Learn about boundaries and boundary setting. Dr Cloud’s “Boundaries” is a good start. I also recommend Dr Peck’s “The road less traveled”. It will help you get a healthy perspective on life. The opening sentence “Life is difficult. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult—once we truly understand and accept it—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is diffi…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 08:35 PM
3

Yes, if you’re a government employee, the administrator will be able to put a present value on the pension. There’s money (either real or on paper) somewhere that will be paying you in the future. She’s trying to get a portion of that. Additionally, your expert, her expert and the TPA may all put a different number on the net present value. Buckle up buttercup, shits about to get real.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 08:03 PM
7

Awesome for you! $7500 extra/mo is going to be glorious. My last payment is July 2028.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 03:00 PM
1

Not for 1 second
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 02:37 AM
7

I’d go just for shits and giggles. Just listen to her and the counselor. Consider it, collecting evidence. Take notes. Use them against her. If the counselor asks you what you think - I’m here just to listen. I just want what’s best for the kids.” Then silence. Just let her talk. And talk and talk. You don’t need to say a word. And anything you say, can and will be used against you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:20 PM
5

Say sure. And while you’re at her house she can go to your house and scrub your toilets, clean your kitchen, and changes the sheets on your bed. Might as well have her meal prep for you for a week too. She’ll get the picture
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 05:07 PM
1

You haven’t met my dog.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 01:42 AM
3

2 years. Learned a lot co-dependency. Hopefully I learned and won’t repeat the same mistakes
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 02:17 AM
6

Go down to job and family services. You may qualify for SNAP and/or cash assistance.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 09:40 PM
1

Euro 💶
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 09:44 PM
3

Read “Boundaries” by Dr Henry Cloud and “The Road Less Traveled” by Dr Peck You need to learn to set boundaries and stop solving her problems. It’s the law of reaping and sowing.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 06:56 PM
8

Reverse it. You’re at some woman’s home. What’s she thinking? Yep. Adults fuckn
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:24 PM
9

I want a Ferrari. I don’t have a Ferrari. Want to know why I don’t have a Ferrari. Because I can’t afford a Ferrari. Just because a kid wants a thing, doesn’t mean she gets a thing. I’ve paid for college for 3 kids. I told them, you can go to any college you want and I’ll pay for it, as long as it’s an instate public university. Your money. Your boundaries. Please read “Boundaries” by Dr Henry Cloud.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 01:56 AM
10

You’re a co-dependent caretaker. Don’t do it. You’re not responsible for her. Don’t deny her the opportunity to get control of her life
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 06:04 PM
1

What are you fighting about in court?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 11:35 PM
1

Here’s my take on it. This is from “A love Story”. Ray Liotta is a divorce attorney. He gives a funny scene counseling his new client, they are going to start at crazy. If we start a reasonable and they start at Crazy, when we settle, we’ll be halfway between crazy and reasonable- which is still crazy. My take is this (I argued this in my divorce and my ex actually agreed) - you don’t own a “business.” You own your job. If you go, the business goes. Let’s use simple numbers. She’s going to say t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 05:51 AM
2

Fine. Your wife stopped working to raise your children. Your children wouldn’t be who they are today without a parent (I think men are better parents and should stay home and raise the kids, but I digress) Your career wouldn’t be what it was without her. Don’t at me - I’m an OBGYN that produced 26,000 RVUs last year. I fucking work. My former spouse stayed home. I killed it and had the freedom to do as I pleased. My sister, always worked and her career has taken off the last 5 years and she’s we…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:32 AM
2

Went to Half Moon Bay. 5 stars highly recommend
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 08:33 PM
2

I divorced in fall of 2018 😂 - taxable income for her 😂
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 08:11 PM
6

Physician here. My divorce cost me $3MM. Buckle up buttercup. The judge DAF what you think is fair. On another note, the reason that divorce is so expensive is because it’s worth it
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:50 PM
3

Read about silver bullet divorce. Just reverse the genders Or feel free to post in r/divorce. Just reverse the genders. Watch the hilarity
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 02:10 AM
2

“What would you do if you were still married” is pretty much my standard. And needs to be in writing. Basically it takes 2 “yes” votes for anything to happen. If one parent says no, then the answer is no.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 04:25 PM
5

lol. Are you new to the world and Reddit specifically? This is a man hating platform
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 11:46 AM
8

There are no solutions, only tradeoffs. -Thomas Sowell. So, something has to give. It’s obviously no possible to maintain your same lifestyle separately. So, the lifestyle will have to go down. That being said, single me spends waaaay less than married me. I actually came out significantly ahead
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 05:40 PM
4

Here’s an AI 🤖response. Take it for what it is You’re making rookie mistakes in a high-conflict divorce, and the system will absolutely punish you for that. Right now, your biggest problem isn’t your ex. It’s that you don’t understand how serious an injunction is in Florida. Under Florida Statutes § 741.30, once that injunction hits: • NO contact means zero contact • Doesn’t matter what your custody agreement says • Doesn’t matter if it’s your kids • Doesn’t matter if it feels unfair You texted …
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 12:49 AM
2

No sex in 6 years? Love is - the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. Is this happening in your marriage? More simply - is she your favorite person in the world? And do you know that you are hers?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:36 PM
3

What happens in her house on her time is her business. Just like what happens in your house on your time is none of her concern.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 12:06 PM
13

Drunk words are sober thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 11:09 PM
7

Remember - liars are doing the thing they are accusing you of. I’d bet a paycheck she’s got hidden accounts. She’s got money squirreled away in Venmo/CashApp/crypto ir some other shit
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 01:53 AM
17

Here’s an idea. Don’t tell your ex your life plans. She’s only going to shit on you. If you want to win, live a well lived life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 11:17 PM
6

Never drink on emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 01:26 PM
2

She doesn’t control you. You control you. The statement “she makes me mad” is incorrect. You allow yourself to get mad. Don’t respond. There’s no rule that you have to respond to every dumb shit that comes out of her mouth. Just ignore it. Learn about “no contact” if there’s no kids. If there’s kids then “grey rock.” It gets it name that your response is like a grey rock - invisible. Your response to 90% is, I’m sorry, but I’m not having this conversation and leave.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 06:47 AM
6

You’re still married. You’ll be able to have her pay your fees. If there’s a large income difference. You need a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 10:35 PM
20

You need a personal protection order. You need a lawyer. Stop talking with her. She’s going to say this and that. Who gives a flying fuck what she says. What she wants and what she gets are 2 separate things
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 08:51 PM
2

I tell my boys - stay away from Russians and Brazilians. They are hot, but if you recall that video about the hot/crazy matrix - she’s crazy. If you want what you want, prepare for war. If she makes substantially more than you, that’s your leverage. You’ll be entitled to alimony. She’ll flip out. You can use that as leverage in negotiations.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 01:45 PM
7

Easy. Delete
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 12:07 AM
1

This is not uncommon. My EW and I were 50/50. We had a completely amicable disillusion. She kept the martial home. I got a new home. The boys stayed with me. I would force them to go with her on some weekends. Kids are smart.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:22 PM
5

When I lost hope that things would improve
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 12:05 AM
5

Whenever I face a controversial situation. I reverse and see how I would feel. So, you and your mates (I’m assuming your from GB 😂) are going on a holiday to Thailand. Everyone single, except for you. How would you feel if she said “ummm-not the greatest idea I’ve ever heard” And how would she feel, knowing you and your boys going to a city famous for debauchery. And it is equivalent- because the Greek dudes will be on those girls like flies on shit.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 11:53 PM
8

Use “I feel” statements. Don’t make it about her and her nonsense - make it about your feelings. And again. You can’t control her, but you can control your response to her bullshit. Fucking “hen”. Everyone out pretending they are single.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 11:44 PM
15

You can’t control her. But you can control your response to what she does. She’s going to counter with “don’t you trust me? I would never do that”. Your answer to that: Your answer: “This isn’t about whether I think you’re going to cheat. It’s about the fact that we’re not in a great place right now—and this kind of trip doesn’t align with what I think our relationship needs. Trust isn’t just ‘I believe you won’t cross a line.’ It’s also ‘we both make choices that protect the relationship.’ Righ…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 10:49 PM
8

What she wants and what she gets are two different things.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 03:55 PM
6

Accountability time. This is self inflicted. Learn to be alone. Learn to be a parent. I’d suspect you’re co-dependent. Your therapist isn’t helping. Find a new one. You need to figure out why you’ve made the choices you’ve made. Should have never let the exwife move with the kids to Cali. You should have never jumped into a new relationship let alone one with kids that you’re not fond of. Bad bad bad all around. Time to start learning about yourself and learn about boundaries and enforcing bound…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:42 PM
4

Nothing good from that. And yes, they will paint you as an unreasonable person, and that will be exhibit A
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 10:18 PM
6

I wanted my dick sucked everyday. That didn’t happen. What she wants and what she gets are two different things.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:52 AM
1

Or asleep when you go to bed
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 01:22 AM
3

Read Boundaries by Henry Cloud
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:41 PM
1

The person picking up has to drive. There’s no “dropping off.” Who is the residential parent for school purposes? What else does your parenting plan say about school
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 02:46 AM
4

Close to $2M. Plus she gets $720,000 in alimony payable over 10 years. Just 2 years to go
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 02:44 AM
6

Why didn’t you file a protective order when she called the cops on you the first time And yeah, crazy women are the best fucks.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:08 AM
4

She’s a dumb ass. Let her spend money on attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 05:23 PM
4

Sell the house, boats, RV, and scooter. Divide by 2. Divide your IRA by 2. She should be able to file on your SS, this doesn’t affect yours at all. Should be easy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 05:14 PM
4

So here’s the deal. With your marriage, you’ll likely walk away equal. It’s just a matter of who has what. Do you want the house? If so, you’ll have to buy her out with cash. Conversely, if she wants the house. Retirement accounts -divide by 2. Do you have a traditional pension? Does she?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:54 PM
3

What’s your net worth?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:46 PM
4

For fuck sake. She’s not your concern anymore. Nothing that she says or does should have any effect on you. Quit talking to her. Shes your mortal fucking enemy. File for divorce. Don’t speak to her about anything that isn’t directly related to your daughter. Learn about “gray rock” and stop giving her power over you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 03:27 AM
3

Having read all this, I think you need to speak to your lawyer about picking your child up from school and bringing her back to the marital home where the child has been raised. And then you need to file in your home state. Do you want the status quo to be the child in the home? She’s grown up and in the home that she knows and not some new place where her mother just took her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 11:07 PM
2

Why wouldn’t you? You’re married. She has no more ability to deny you seeing your child than you have to deny her access to the child
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 10:10 PM
6

Rent free
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 05:55 PM
2

Well. Neither of those will happen.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 05:51 PM
3

It’s all garbage. Don’t believe me. Try to sell it. I left my house and took my tools , clothes, and lawn equipment. I couldn’t have been happier.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 09:12 PM
23

It’s nice when the trash takes themselves out. He’s not your friend
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 07:26 PM
6

Let her take you to court. It will cost thousands and take 2 years for a hearing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:21 PM
1

My point is - reasonable people will let a former spouse claim the kids if they can’t benefit
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 08:38 PM
1

She’s an ass and just being contrary. Just file and claim the kid. The first to file wins in the eyes of the IRS. If she doesn’t file, then it won’t matter and she’ll never know. If she files first and claims the kid, they won’t allow your claim. If she has no earned income, she won’t be able to file for an earned income credit. She can still file HOH but won’t get any credits. Your separation agreement should have you alternating years. I make too much for any benefit to filing for the kids. So…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 05:42 PM
3

She definitely should pay. But she’s a fucking nightmare. The best way to keep someone out of your life is to have them owe you money that that don’t want to pay. So, I wouldn’t file, because she knows you always could if she pisses you off. That being said, she’s so batshit that probably wouldn’t care anyway
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 03:43 PM
13

So anyway, I started blasting
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 01:38 PM
2

Bingo!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 10:23 AM
0

Rent free bro. Rent free
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 11:20 PM
3

Same. Photos with kids and her are uploaded to Dropbox
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:09 AM
8

Here’s a Gemini response 😂 looks like a good policy to start with your lawyer Man, California is the "Wild West" of family law, and you are currently in the middle of a classic CA divorce trap. I’ve seen this play out a dozen times. It feels like you’re being bled dry while she lives for free, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you play your cards right. NAL (Not A Lawyer), but here is the reality of your situation: 1. The "Fiduciary Duty" Scare Your lawyer isn't lying—California i…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 11:51 PM
63

She was a psychiatric nurse practitioner. Directing his care. Gross
/r/MensRights04/03/26 03:26 AM
1

Dude. Get an attorney and file. She’s paying you
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:49 PM
9

Adults fuck
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:26 PM
0

You already have a prenuptial. It was written by the state legislature and can be changed at anytime by the legislature without your consent. Or you can have a lawyer draft one for you. Your choice .
/r/MensRights02/03/26 05:37 AM
2

She can (and will) ask for everything. How much equity is in the house. If she wants the house, she’ll need to “buy you out” and pay you your equity in the home. She will then need to either assume the mortgage in her name alone, or get a new mortgage on her own. I’m guessing, it may be very likely for the judge to compel the sale of the home. Give us your financial information, income, assets, debts, real estate, etc and we can give you a likely scenario
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 02:14 AM
1

Nobody, and I means nobody cares. Think back over your lifetime, think about friends or acquaintances that got divorced. Did you care? Nope.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 12:06 AM
5

My former spouses name was some big German name. Mine is a simple romantic Italian name. I don’t blame her
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:31 AM
-1

She’s outta control. You cannot control what she does or doesn’t do. You can set a boundary. It will go like this: when we get into an argument and it gets too heightened, I will end the discussion to cool ourselves off. I will go to the bedroom and shut the door to be alone. The interaction will be recorded. If you continue, I will call the police. Possibly even seek a restraining order. You can choose to respect my wishes to have a cooling off period (1 or 2 days) or we can get outsiders invol…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 04:03 PM
1

You already have a pre-nup. It’s been written by you state legislatures and codified into law. It seems that she thinks she’s entitled to the money you brought into the marriage. So, you can use the states version or write your own, your choice
/r/MensRights20/02/26 01:38 AM
15

You’re a fool. She’s playing you
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:12 AM
2

Learn about attachment theory. There’s some information and understanding. If she’s an avoidant attachment - run
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:04 AM
1

Maybe?? 🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 03:20 AM
2

What does your parenting plan say about this?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 01:11 AM
5

17 year marriage and she doesn’t work. In most states she’s getting 6 years. Thats common. Trust us - once her friends and tic tok get a hold of her - she’s going to staying how you’re a narcissist and gaslit her
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:53 PM
3

Is that all true?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:16 PM
4

It’s all going to fine until she wants lifetime spousal support
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:32 PM
2

Does she work?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:24 PM
1

I’ve been following James Sexton on YT. If I were in NYC he’s someone I would talk with.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:55 AM
2

How much equity in the house? What about other assets? Retirement money? The quit claim deed does just that - it’s quits your claim to the deed. So, you’re giving her the house. The mortgage is completely separate and needs to be addressed in the separation agreement. But fuck her. Stealing your fathers money is a shit move
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 03:47 PM
1

My income tripled after I divorced
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 05:08 PM
3

I took my clothes, tools, and landscaping equipment. It’s just stuff. In reality, it’s all garbage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:43 PM
9

Ray Liotta in rhe move Marriage Story sums it up best. This is what they do
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:33 PM
3

Even though you’ll have new expenses (child support) I’m willing to be your monthly spending goes down dramatically.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:39 PM
2

Why would she agree to no alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 01:37 AM
1

Just under.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 07:36 PM
1

No. It was 50/50 on paper. I had twins that were freshmen in HS and one that was a freshman in college. All boys. They stayed with me >90% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 07:25 PM
2

$6000/mo for 10 years. I’ll be free in Aug 2028
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 01:41 PM
15

Congratulations. You just bought a second home. She will have to pay you half.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 01:23 AM
1

What’s the business worth? EBIDITA? Profits? Basically, you own 25% of the business. The million dollar question is what is that business worth?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 02:04 PM
1

What does the MSA say about?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 07:42 PM
3

No penalties. It’s a QDRO and goes to her. If she has a brain she’ll put into an IRA.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 05:10 PM
3

I went to the Ritz Carlton at Half Moon bay for 4 nights
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 09:30 PM
7

Yeah. And my income tripled after I cut the anchor
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 10:59 PM
1

Bruh? What are you talking about? She doesn’t take any of your stuff and you don’t take any of her stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 09:57 PM
1

How old are the kids
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 07:58 PM
6

They find a younger version of their father
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 06:13 PM
6

Bruh. Stop. The money is for the kid. And she’s been fucking the kid, and now she’s trying to fuck you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 03:56 AM
3

What’s your income? What’s her income? If hers is less than yours, quit being a white knight and file for child support. The money is for the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 03:18 AM
4

Usually scheduling conflicts. Family court in most places is just broken
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 01:39 AM
2

Oooofff. I hope that you got a provision that if you get disabled that her spousal support goes away
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:16 AM
5

The fire was always coming. The only difference is who gets burned first.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:26 PM
2

So. You’re saying that your 50% equity in the house is pretty close to your retirement and other liquid assets? And no spousal support? I’d take that every day and twice on Sunday
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 05:55 PM
1

A check, but may be jurisdiction dependent. Her name. If you’re adults fine. But, I guarantee that you missed something important. For example, my MSA cannot be changed. There’s no “going back to court,” provisions that if I become disabled that support goes away, provisions for termination of support if she co-habitats with someone
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 04:07 AM
5

Welp. Don’t let her off the child support and alimony hook. Don’t do the white knight shit. For a fun thought exercise, keep the details the same and reverse the genders and post over in the divorce sub. There’s your advice
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 07:14 PM
5

Report the therapist to the state board. The complaints are usually anonymous. Nothing will come of it, except the therapist will be notified of the nature of the complaint and maybe gleam some education from it. Alternatively, write a google review outlining your experience. Because of HIPAA, they can’t respond except in the generic
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 05:18 AM
1

You should be good.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 03:09 AM
1

You may want to meet with your county commissioners also. You’ll need to get some people on your side. You’re going to have to be sweet as pie when dealing with these people. If you come off aggressive, they will walk you off and make your life miserable
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 12:14 AM
1

Trust me. It’s incompetence. Family court system in Ohio is completely broken
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 05:17 PM
2

Fellow Ohioan. Not sure what county you are in, but yes - they are absolutely 100% incompetent. With a little malice towards fathers. You will have to be your advocate. Use Gemini or ChatGPT to help you navigate and learn their language. Also, bite your tongue and be sweet as pie with those fucktards. There’s a skill to speaking with people in positions of power. AI 🤖can help you learn their language
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 05:04 PM
3

If she called the police on you once, she’ll do it again. And while she may have postpartum depression, she’s still an adult and accountable for her actions. Her actions are her choices.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 10:00 PM
4

She’s a dumbass. Let her do stupid shit.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 04:45 AM
10

Could you imagine if the reverse were true? Remember you’re safer around a 100 bears than me
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:59 AM
2

You’ll be ahead even after the alimony and spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:56 AM
2

Do you and your wife have equal incomes?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:51 PM
2

What’s your question? When you’re married, it’s community property. As far as the spending differences, the spouse is usually buying groceries, household supplies, furniture, travel, etc. Are you saying that you have no idea how your money was spent while you were married?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 11:22 PM
0

Where does he say to not get a lawyer. He’s saying, be an adult and figure this shit out
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:52 PM
2

Yeah. Sounds like this is the case.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 02:19 PM
8

Bruh, what she did is childish and fucking cruel. She made her self look small. Fuck her
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:45 PM
7

Thoughts??? I’d bet a paycheck someone else is balls deep in her already
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:44 PM
5

Translation : “you’re life is going to be peaceful after I’m gone”
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 06:42 PM
1

Nope. He was just a dumbass and had a sweet heart deal but was so bitter he couldn’t get past it when she remarried someone very well off. Seriously thought he was gonna get CS
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 12:12 AM
4

She can move out.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 11:39 PM
1

Yeah. My dumbass sibling thought this too. His went up. Somehow his original calc was only $400/mo and he actually thought he would get CS after she married. Well, his went to $700/mo.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 11:28 PM
4

Wrong. Step-parents have no legal obligation to provide for stepchildren. Their income is not considered. If the wife stops working, her income should be imputed by the court.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 07:49 PM
1

This is incorrect. Even if she remarried, the new spouse’s income doesn’t count.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 07:22 PM
1

How much equity is in the house
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:21 AM
1

JFC bruh. Good for you. I’d be ready for the funny farm by now
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:04 AM
0

List your assests (cash, cars/boats, real estate, business), list your debts (mortgages, loans, credit cards, student loans) and then divide by 2. List em out here and we’ll help you out
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 02:29 AM
13

Correct. And here’s my argument-it’s worth NOTHING. Try to sell it. It’s worthless. Or ask her what her valuation is. Say she says it’s worth $500k. So $250,000 is yours and $250,000 is your partner. She wants $125,000. Tell her “ I give you my entire position, $250,000 worth. Now you owe me $125,000. I’ll walk away and enjoy your business”. I’m the end, it’s not a business - you just own your job. There’s a difference. Make that difference obvious.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:05 AM
-1

Always take the high road. Leave your kids out of it. Your stock answer for when people ask “what happened” is “things didn’t work out like we had hoped, thank you for respecting our privacy during this difficult time” That being said, the other wife, she deserves to know. You don’t get to be the gatekeeper of the truth. Tell her, give her your evidence. What she does with that information is up to her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 05:23 AM
3

Tell her you respect her boundaries and it’s time for the relationship to end.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:29 PM
3

Who are you hurting here? Your daughter. Do you think any of the other three GAF about you? You’re not getting over on them. In fact, they’ll get a chuckle that you are still butt hurt by something that happened in the past. (No saying I agree - but that’s how they’ll think) Always take the high ground
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 06:55 PM
5

My income tripled after I divorced
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:33 PM
6

You’re correct. Always always always take the high ground when the kids are involved.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:32 PM
3

Custody order has nothing to do with your residence. She will have to claim abuse (which may happen) to get you out of the house. Learn to gray rock her. Only speak to her about the children. Schedules. Appointments. Pickup dropoffs. Do not speak to her about anything else. Do not raise your voice. No yelling. No fighting. No nothing. Assume everything is being recorded and will be shown to a judge. Always be civil and polite. Be an active parent to your children. No drinking. No drugs. Lift wei…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:29 PM
9

Change your pronouns. It’s “our” savings. And you get your cash from the house or will force its sale. Don’t fall for her bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 07:03 AM
5

With what money is she “buying” you out of the house with? Is her mom giving it to her?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:50 AM
1

How much will you loose? Depends on how much you have and what you make. Basically you need to list out your premarital assets. Then figure out what you accumulated during your marriage. Then, you’ll need to try to impute her income. She could work, but chooses not to. So, you’ll need to convince the judge of that. List your numbers and we can help. Basically in your case, she may get 50% of your accumulations during the marriage. I’d argue she does need spousal support. She’s an adult and can s…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 05:03 PM
9

Da fuk?? Turn the tables. Would she die for you??
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 01:13 AM
2

Well, then she’s gonna have to trade some of her other assets to buy you out of that house. Probably her interest in the rental properties.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 01:08 AM
4

OK, so for a baseline add up all of your assets and equity in your businesses and properties. Add up all of your liabilities. Subtracted two and create a net worth. Divide by two. That’s how much each of you should walk away from in this relationship. So just imagine you sold everything. You’re piece of the pie and her piece of the pie should be the same. From there you can figure out child support and spousal support. However, you may also want to figure a way to impute her income. She’s no lon…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:26 PM
4

All of them. You moving out of the house. Why doesn’t she move out of the house?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:15 PM
3

Who made all of these decisions? Her?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:13 PM
4

11-day-old Reddit account… fixing 20-year marriages… with an app. That account hasn’t lasted long enough to be wrong. Nothing says ‘I care about your marriage’ like surge pricing therapy from a guy who still has the default avatar. If your marriage advice comes bundled with push notifications and a referral link, it’s not wisdom, it’s a scam.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 08:28 AM
5

This isn’t “tough love,” it’s just being a jackass. Working 70+ hours and getting overwhelmed isn’t weakness, it’s what happens when you’re actually carrying weight. If you’ve never hit a wall, you haven’t been doing anything hard. Calling a man weak because his wife threatened divorce and it shook him is clown logic. That’s a real hit, not a bench press analogy. And “walkaway wife syndrome” is just Reddit pop-psych bullshit to excuse her contempt and blame you for everything. OP: you don’t get …
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 07:03 AM
2

Or so Biggie tells me. 10 Crack Commandments.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 03:58 AM
14

The level of contempt that she has shown you is not recoverable. Don’t you know that bad boys move in silence and violence. You be as nice as fucking pie to her. Smile. Take her shit. Sweetie. Honey. And get your shit together. Then make your move when it’s time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 03:49 AM
1

For me, anything other than 50/50 was a non-starter. Especially with teens. Moms want to be their friends when kids need parents.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 08:15 PM
2

If she’s got hidden accounts during the marriage (when things are presumably good) how forthcoming do you think she’ll be during a divorce? She
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:03 AM
5

Keep records. And remember half of “her business” is yours.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:03 PM
5

Bruh - you probably shouldn’t be paying any alimony. Maybe 1 year tops.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 11:19 PM
22

I also believe that if you decide to have the baby, a man should not have to pay. That is fair. If you can kill this motherfucker, I can at least abandon 'em. Dave Chapelle
/r/MensRights15/12/25 10:45 PM
2

Has she signed the quit claim deed yet? If she has then she has no access to the property. If her name is still on the deed, then she does have access.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 02:07 AM
2

Stop telling your wife your business. She’s not your friend.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 11:07 PM
0

Most states won’t allow it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 02:42 AM
9

She goes to the attorney and gets the same advice. And then she files on you. Only takes 1 to divorce
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 02:48 AM
2

Haha yep! Forgot about that one
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 02:48 AM
4

Yep. So hard for some people accept. We cannot control what other people do or don’t do
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 05:48 PM
19

Three rules. 1. Be attractive. 2. Be attractive. 3. See rule #1
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:33 PM
3

You’re so right. Can’t make this shit up
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 01:14 AM
7

File for a modification. It’s moral and legal.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:24 AM
4

I’m sorry. And you’ll need to learn to change some pronouns here - to “we.” We have a 401. We have a paid off house. We share all assets. However, you’ll be the one paying alimony. Why do you think she won’t be able to “buy you out?” She’ll have a much cash as you will, plus your alimony as her income stream. Often selling the house and dividing 50/50 is reasonable, but often one person can stay. In my divorce, she kept the house and I kept some commercial real estate.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 07:43 PM
10

What she wants and what she gets are 2 different things. She’s more than welcome to move the fuck out too
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 10:56 PM
18

You were her plan B. Until she fucked around (literally) and then found the reality of the situation. Time for an upgrade, and she ain’t it
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 03:01 AM
8

You dipped your dick in crazy
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 08:39 PM
5

Maintains the status quo. She gets to stay in the house until it gets sold. Still has everything paid for. Gets to live the same life just like married.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 04:48 AM
9

The loosing side always drags things out to maintain the status quo. Continuances, re-scheduling, long times between status conferences, delay, delay, delay. Welcome to the hell that is family court. Because engineers are a pain in the ass when things don’t go as they expect in their minds. Your lawyer hasn’t failed you. A standard delay tactic was used.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:05 AM
5

You’re still married. She’s wants to remain married to you. You have a few options: end the marriage and relationship with her, stay married and remain monogamous to each other, stay married and explore ethical non-monogamy, and (what you’re currently doing now) end the marriage and continue ducking her and other women. Your choice
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:29 PM
1

Yeah. That ain’t gonna work. Have you ever spoken to a magistrate or a judge? They work 9-3 and take an hour lunch break. They will not understand the nuances of what you’re arguing. Come to a reasonable settlement as FAST as you can. Time works against you. If you understand ‘time decay’ call options then you’ll get my point.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:24 PM
5

This is standard stuff for family court. I’m going to hazard a guess about your occupation-engineer.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:19 PM
1

I fight wars not battles. What this means is - the war that you want to win is to be able to be a parent to your children. My response would be something like - that’s fine, you can have them this year on Christmas, but I’ll be (whatever you want - birthday, Easter, long weekend with MLK or presidents weekend) The point is, to agree to the compromise and then take the next thing you want. Once she gets her yes, she can’t say no. As an aside gentleman, I doubt that two very importsnt weekends are…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 05:47 AM
2

https://ohiochildsupportcalculator.ohio.gov/home.html Did you use this?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 08:27 PM
4

I fight wars not battles.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 07:58 PM
2

You can get the titles at the county title office. Run a free credit report. Your plan administrator can Your pension administrator can Household goods? Haha. Give her all the crap. Do yourself a favor. I took my tools and clothes (and left half my clothes for her to deal with) and started a new life
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 02:43 AM
3

Be cool, calm and collected. Judges are dumb (usually) and can figure this stuff out
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:57 AM
3

What type of date is this? In my county nothing of this sort would ever happen
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 02:34 AM
1

Is there a written agreement between the three of you? IANAL but I would presume (and may be wrong) that you each own 1/3 of the mortgage. No, is the personal loan just between you and the FIL or is your wife’s name on the loan papers too? I’m suspecting she’s not. So - sell the house for $400,000. You each have $133,000. However, you have a personal loan of $80,000 (not a mortgage) so you would get $53,000 and they would each have $133,000. Now, if it’s a true mortgage you have, then yes - that…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 09:47 PM
2

YNAB.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 05:41 PM
2

She’s correct. But, you can read and do your own work individually. If you like to read, read “Attached” by Amir Levine
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 01:34 PM
5

Bruh
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 03:22 AM
3

That’s not how it works. It’s works how I described it. Look at every asset. Divide by two. And go from there. Yes you can negotiate. So, we had a paid off home. She wanted the home. We also have investment property. She kept the house. I kept the investment property. It was an even trade of our interests in each portion. In your case, my negotiating would be to not negotiate. I’d be happy to have the 55/45 split of each asset like I illustrated. If you can swing that without having to go to tri…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 02:05 AM
1

Get on your favorite GPT and ask for the cliff notes of Guy Finley’s “Secret of Letting Go.” Specifically on the “false self” versus the “true self.” He says almost all human suffering comes from living through a false identity “false self” a mental and emotional construct that pretends to be you. The “True Self” is your natural consciousness. It’s the quiet awareness before thought and emotion arise. It doesn’t need validation because it’s already whole. You’re seeking validation for your “fals…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 06:06 AM
2

Would she sell now? And just divide the money. Then file, and take of the rest afterwards
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 10:50 PM
4

I’m confused. Not sure where you’re getting $1.2M net worth. Adding up your equity, investment account and IRA that comes to $930,000 Regardless . Using the 55% distribution- take a look at every asset. So, the house sells and you net $300,000. That’s $165k her and $135k to you. The brokerage accounts $90,000 and that nets $49.5k to her and $40.5k to you. The IRA is $540k and nets $297k her and $243k to you. So, $511,500 to her and $418k to you. Start like this and then horse trade from there. B…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 10:04 PM
38

This on the list of “Things I don’t give a fuck about”
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 05:25 PM
2

Venmo should always be private
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 02:25 AM
2

Things didn’t work out like we had hoped. Thank you for respecting our privacy during this difficult time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:26 AM
8

The word you’re looking for is “schadenfreude” It’s a German word that combines harm and joy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 07:02 PM
2

We all like to get our dicks wet. Just go on tinder and smash and ghost
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:24 AM
4

Bruh why? Just why?
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 12:54 AM
9

Unless she’s going to agree to 50/50, there’s no point in anything else. You need a trial date. She’ll avoid a trial because that’s the worst that she’ll get. You need a trial because that’s the best you can get if she won’t give it to you in a negotiation
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 10:08 PM
2

Legal separation keeps each other from remarriage. Keeps the clock running for alimony. I don’t see a positive for you for a legal separation
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 05:39 PM
2

Mortal enemy
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 05:03 PM
3

Today you learned who your real friends are and aren’t. Most people just want the gossip. This is why you need a therapist. Dump all this shit on the therapist every week and you’ll be good to go. We all need to be heard - but only by people that care. The “friends” don’t care. Your therapist will (it’s their job to care).
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:13 AM
8

Bruh- stop. Just fucking stop. The way you reconcile is to not be emotionally and financially available to her. The way you protect yourself is not be emotionally or financially available to her. Set a firm boundary - “we will only discuss the kids. You filed for divorce and now we are beginning the legal process of separation and I will have nothing else to say to you” It’s really that fucking easy. If it’s not about the kids it’s not spoken. Anything else, “I’m not discussing that” Divorce has…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:59 PM
6

Bruh - I was so fucking happy to finally have some peace. I cherish it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 10:43 PM
12

“Things didn’t go as we had hoped. Thank you for respecting our privacy during this difficult time.” And those dudes aren’t your “friends.” A friend would never push
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:55 PM
13

wtf? Keeping it cordial? Why? You don’t have anything else to loose. Stand up for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 01:03 AM
10

This falls into the lists of “things I can’t control” and those things don’t get my energy. Things I can control (my thoughts and my actions) get my energy. I’ve tripled my income since my divorce. I refocused my energy. That alimony check is now only 12% of my take home pay. It was 35% when I started paying
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 07:39 PM
2

Said 1 too many things to her. You’re not “stonewalling” you’re only going to communicate with her about the children. No other communication is needed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 11:01 PM
1

If she’s on the mortgage, it’s unlikely assumable. Meaning, the only way to get her off the mortgage is to refinance. If she’s not on the mortgage you could get a HELOC. Alternatively, you could pay her from retirement or some other asset. My wife “bought me out” by not making a claim on my business. I kept the business. She kept the house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 02:32 AM
4

Here’s what to need to watch - learn to gray rock. Stop responding to her unless it’s about the children
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 06:26 PM
12

No body cares. No body. No one cares about your problems and half the people are glad you have them. “Things didn’t work out as planned, thanks for respecting our privacy during this difficult time”
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 06:25 PM
9

She’s right.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 05:29 AM
1

State dependent but yeah generally has to be a material change. Also, in most states- remarriage doesn’t affect that. You having more dependents or making less could lower yours
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 02:09 AM
1

Yep. Healthcare just sucks in general - not just for women.
/r/MensRights20/10/25 08:30 PM
3

People just want to hear the gossip for their own pleasure. It’s junk food entertainment. No one really cares. If you have a true bro - he’ll take you golfing, to the race track, hiking, skiing, for a bike ride and talk about nothing. Just be. But don’t count on it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 08:21 PM
25

You have no friends. None. You want a friend, it’s your dog. Get a therapist. That’s the person you dump all of this on. Nobody cares about your problems. And half the people are glad you’ve got them. Whenever anyone asks “what happened” you answer - things don’t work out like we hoped, thank you for respecting our privacy during this difficult time.” Walk, gym, meditation, prayer No alcohol or drugs. Never drink on emotions. Only makes it worse. SHE’S YOU’RE MORTAL ENEMY. Treat her as such Get …
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 05:43 PM
2

Basically, a divorce is three things. First separation agreement that’s the division of assets. Next, parenting plan that’s which child lives with which parent for what amount of time. Three child support. Should basically be a state calculation. If her boyfriend is far away, make sure that the parenting plan has specific language that the child is to remain in the same school district unless parents mutually agree.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 03:26 PM
3

If you make the same money, then no alimony and really should not be child support as custody should be 50-50. So then it’s very simple. Just divide the assets and liabilities and walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 01:49 PM
1

Add up the assets. Add up the liabilities. Divide by two. Was her 500 acquired all during the marriage? If so, your 401k and her 401k be equal after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 12:44 PM
6

Don’t do legal separation. You’re still legally married. Just get divorced
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 07:53 PM
2

If you don’t love me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best - girrrl power 🤫
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 03:32 PM
3

SS payments are not affected by divorce. My exwife will file under my SS (she was SAHM for 20 years) and I have more credits than her. It will not affect my SS payment. I loose nothing when she files under mine. You and her have to reach an agreement as to if/how much spousal support. The higher earner may pay the lower earner. Same with pensions. If she has a pension and you don’t, you could make a realistic claim against a portion of hers.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 11:12 AM
9

Do not do this. Listen to the professional that you are paying
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 10:11 AM
1

Sell the house. Take that $200,000 and pay off all the debt. That leaves 100,000 so each of you will get 50. You each get hundred thousand dollars of the retirement. So now your debt free $50,000 in cash you’re gonna be on the hook for child support which should be a state calculation. You’re probably going to pay some alimony. The thing is, you need to get her income appeared to 100,000 a year. That’s going to be the key for all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 07:11 PM
8

Bruh - stop If she’s in the house, she’s in the house. You can’t control what she does or doesn’t do. Otherwise - force the sale of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 01:00 AM
3

You absolutely can. It’s the cornerstone of cognitive behavioral therapy. You are the master of your domain.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 10:57 PM
5

Write that shit down. Never read it again. That’s the point get it out. Never speak to anybody about your problems. Nobody cares about your problems and half the people are glad you got them. That’s what a therapist is for. The only thing in this world you can control are your thoughts and your actions. Take control of them. Being happy is a choice. Feel free to make it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 09:38 PM
8

Your parenting styles are not aligned. I’m thinking that she’s solved every problem that your children have faced to “make them happy.” Kids need adversity. You and her are not aligned with your parenting. This will kill a marriage. And how much “hanging out” is she doing? Match her energy and you do the same with your friends. See how that goes. Haha
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 11:35 AM
5

How much money do you have? How much do you make? If you have nothing and protecting nothing then there’s no point. If you have a lot and earn a lot - then yeah - you need good representation. That being said - $300k and are still nowhere is insane
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 09:22 PM
6

Bruh - we get it. We are just saying to treat lightly. Judges in many jurisdictions are reticent to cancel alimony. Many lawyers are very good and don’t be surprised if her lawyer doesn’t find a way to rehabilitate this for her. Don’t let your guard down and be prepared for the unexpected.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 01:39 PM
17

Stay quiet. In many states it’s hard to prove. Loose lips will sink ships. It will take time to build this case
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 12:09 PM
1

In both instances- that’s the correct advice for the wrong reason. They are doing the guy a favor
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 12:03 PM
5

Bruh. Don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 03:38 AM
46

Because men don’t watch TV. We’re fucking working And when I do, it’s sports, James Bond, John Wick, and Ethan Hunt
/r/MensRights03/10/25 02:17 AM
4

My last house purchase. Appraiser : What number do we need here? Me : lol wut
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 08:34 PM
14

Bruh? That’s just weird My income literally tripled after my divorce. When you’re not miserable- other parts of your life get better. But hey - you do you. Suffer in silence
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:39 AM
2

You have no friends. When people ask what happened, smile and say “things didn’t work out like I planned and thank you for respecting my privacy during this difficult time”
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 02:03 PM
4

Bruh - that’s not being nice, that’s being dumb.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 02:04 AM
1

That’s not how any of this works. Turn the tables. If she wanted the house and you were leaving, what would be your offer. Your kids are over 18. They won’t matter in this negotiation. Sell the house.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:57 AM
-1

A person that has $200,000 in student loan debt. And can’t find or keep a paying job in private practice. So, they open an office on their own and get very few clients because they suck. Can’t make ends meet. So, they take what ever they can get - and voila - they are a GAL
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:42 AM
1

My state does. They are all failed lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 11:40 PM
14

They are lawyers that have failed in practice and so the only clients they get are court appointed. Lower quality than public defense attorneys
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 09:04 PM
2

Said no lawyer ever!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 03:25 AM
5

$5,000 to $10,000 would be typical
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 06:37 PM
3

A highly contested divorce can be +$100,000
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 06:36 PM
6

Wait until you find out she’s fucking another dude
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 12:30 PM
2

The WSJ news department is to the left the NYT
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 07:18 PM
1

And you’re married why??
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 03:16 AM
11

Bruh leave the kids out of this. And, adults fuck. She’s fucking him
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 06:33 PM
8

Bruh- on the day of the separation- add up your assets and debts and divide by two. It’s a big balance sheet. What’s the value and equity of the home? Half the equity is yours. Debts - are still 50/50. Her and your incomes? You get the picture. Lay it out and we can give an idea of what to expect
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 05:46 PM
4

I have a very similar story. Don’t do a buy out. What if you die or become disabled? She gets your money and not you or your kids. Please tell me you have a disability clause. Yes it gets easier. I’m on year 7 of 10 years paying $6000/mo. I make triple now what I was making when we divorced. I literally give her a year’s worth of pre signed and post dated checks and don’t even think about it. Yes, it gets easier
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 08:44 AM
9

A year before we divorced
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 04:09 PM
1

What’s your income from the business?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 02:26 PM
2

Then just wait for trial. End all communication and wait for trial. After trial, you’ll really never speak with her again. It’s an awful experience
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 02:56 PM
1

The way to look at this is as big business transaction. Create a balance sheet and list out all assets and liabilities. Divide by 2. And work from there. Can swap assets and debts so that the end it’s all equal at the end
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 03:20 PM
1

It’s all a business transaction. You could take some debt, pay more alimony, or just do the QDRO
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 03:10 PM
3

It’s all a negotiation. A common tactic is that you give her your equity in the house for exchange of her position in your retirement
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 02:56 PM
5

Adults fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 12:11 PM
1

Agreed. She can’t control what you do your time and you can’t control what she does on her time. Anything you can do to avoid a trial - you do. Court is a total crap shoot
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 12:22 PM
4

Agreed. Live like a single male and he’ll be fine. Don’t spend money on dumb shit. After paying spousal support and paying 100% of kids activities - I had more money than when married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 08:05 PM
7

And this gentleman is why you don’t do this dumb shit. You’re fucked and she knows it’s. She’ll stop paying and you’ll have to pay for her mortgage. Or she stop and wreck your credit and good luck finding another place. Your case is closed. No one. And I mean no one gives a fuck about you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 09:28 PM
1

So true. It is absolutely mind-boggling.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 11:48 AM
6

Yep. Put her on the list of things that don’t affect you anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:44 PM
15

You can’t afford not to have good counsel. If you have a job you have money. Stop paying things that aren’t your 4 walls - food (cheap nutritional food), utilities, rent and transportation. That’s it. Stop spending on everything else
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:25 PM
3

I’m in Ohio also. In my county, my marital separation agreement states that any remarry or cohabitation ends spousal support. I would argue strongly in court that since she’s already cohabitating that possible support does not require required. That is a very winnable case with strong precedent in the state of Ohio.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 12:33 AM
1

What state? In my state - she ain’t getting support
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 11:02 PM
3

19 year marriage. Kids at home. And she makes 7X what you make. Be sure to get your spousal support and child support and 50/50 custody (if not more). You’re still a dad and the kids need a father.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 12:13 PM
2

Meh - he knows better than everyone else, including the divorce lawyers. Bro is gonna get raped in court
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 02:29 PM
2

“I’ve felt pretty strongly that it’s her responsibility to dissolve this as it’s been entirely her choices that have brought us here.” He’d rather loose his kids so that she’d learn her lesson 🙄🙄🙄 Fucking dumbass
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 10:43 AM
3

I’ll take “things that aren’t my problem “ for $1000 Are there other assests that can be divided? Say there’s a 401 with $200,000 and she’s entitled to $100,000. You could trade the equity in the house and keep the 401k Otherwise - if she can’t afford the house on her own then the house will need to be sold
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 12:15 AM
1

I don’t know what any of this means 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 02:06 PM
3

They exist. They are however- currently in a happy marriage
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 05:53 PM
12

They all want the guy that pays and stays quiet
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 01:42 PM
1

How did you ever survive with a house payment that’s 40% if you’re take home. Then, you have $1500 in 3 car payments? Why three? Here’s what I see in your future. Force the sale of the home. Force the sale of the cars. You should pay your child support and since you’re in Texas, it’s likely you’ll owe little to no alimony. Some really bad personal finance decisions have been made, this would be a great time to fix all of that
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 03:34 AM
11

What she wants and what she gets are 2 different things.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:00 AM
5

Bruh - you’re not going to like this but you need to hear this. You’re an alcoholic and you need to quit drinking. If you don’t, you will die alone. Forget about your marriage, it’s done. I would ask your wife to not file, and give you one year to pull yourself together. She can date, and do whatever she wants during that time. So, find an inpatient rehab facility and the longer the better. 30 days won’t cut it. 90 days minimum. Then commit yourself to a 10 step recovery program and OIT and work…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:39 AM
9

She’s not delaying anything. You are. You’re in control of the timeline but you’ve given the control to her
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 02:01 PM
3

There are 2 things in this world that you can control. Your thoughts and your actions. You’re making a conscious choice to let her bother you. You could instead choose to focus you and bettering yourself. What she does or doesn’t do has absolutely no effect on your life, unless you choose to let it bother you. For example - prior to my divorce I was making $300 to $400k/yr. A really nice income. After my divorce, after getting rid of all that negativity and choosing to focus my energy on other t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 01:41 PM
3

Quit drinking Get to the gym Get a therapist Get your proper sleep Then see where things are - I’d bet you’ll be ready to move on
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 12:10 AM
1

Need some more details. Why? Jurisdiction. Extenuating circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 07:44 PM
2

Looks like he makes $1000/week. And seems she makes the same. So, house hold income of $100,000 year. But yeah, still needs a better income. Also, needs a set a budget and stick to it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 07:39 PM
1

Just agree to be served. Eventually they’ll serve you at work.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 12:44 AM
1

Unless you can prove to the court that he’s a danger to the child - then ‘no’ there’s little you can do when the child is with her. Likewise - there’s little she can do when the child is with you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 03:23 AM
1

Her income sources were not claimed on his joint income tax statement. Tread lightly
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 06:30 PM
5

Do you think things in the relationship can improve? Have a better marriage than before - even after you find out she’s been cheating?? If yes, there’s a path forward. It’s not easy - but there is a path. If no, then it’s time to divorce and being the process of learning to co-parent. Reconciliation that’s a A LOT of effort. She has to be willing to be honest about her actions and lies. If that can’t happen, don’t even try
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 09:14 PM
1

What are you making, $25/hr? What state are you in? I’m very familiar with what RNs make. You should be getting $35 an hour on up with $15,000 or $20,000 sign on bonus.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:53 AM
6

If the genders were reversed this would not have happened. To paraphrase “the soft sexism of low expectations”
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:46 AM
9

Bro - you don’t know what you don’t know. Nothing in this world would make your STBXW happier than when she finds out you’re going pro se. You think having an attorney is expensive. Wait until you find out how expensive it will be without one when you get destroyed in court.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 11:00 PM
7

$20k - I know it seems like a lot of money / but you’ll spend way more than that and may not win. I personally would forget it and move on. It’s not worth the hassle
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:03 AM
9

Repeat after me “she is my mortal enemy.” Please treat her as such. You’re still trying to show her that you’re a good person. She and her thoughts of you are not your concern. Your only job is to be a good father to your children.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 10:00 AM
21

My income almost quadrupled after divorce. It’s amazing what can happen when you removed the toxicity from your life. It’s over, move on and don’t look back.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 04:43 PM
4

Go no contact. Learn to stop caring what she says or does. It’s over. Nothing left to do except for getting to business of dividing assets
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 01:19 AM
9

You’ll be better off in the long run. Since she’s so independent and spiritual, she shouldn’t need material things and blood money to survive. Let’s see if she can figure it out for herself
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 09:39 PM
1

Bruh, what’s the question here? You’ve never had sex with her? She’s not your wife. You’re her paycheck. Block her and move out. Start a new life. She was never your wife
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 05:09 PM
34

Bad news bro, she’s fucking someone else. As others of said, get a lawyer. Get to the gym. No alcohol (new drink on emotions). Get a therapist. Walk. Meditate. Read books. Be the father your kids will need. Control your emotions. No yelling. No lecturing. No “just talking” No asking questions. No nothing. Learn to gray rock. She’s not your friend. She’s your mortal enemy. Do not speak one word with her unless it’s about the kids. She may claim DV. She’s going to show you who she really is. You h…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 10:08 AM
3

I went to Half Moon Bay. Live in the Midwest. Played golf and hung at the bar. Tinder hookups too
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 02:47 AM
1

How is not marital debt? Did it pre-exist the marriage Because by my math, if it’s martial debt, you each have $50,000 of debt. I’d give her what she wants because she’s asking for an additional $20,000 of home equity. With a 70/30 you walk with $8000 verses $18,000 if 50/50. So negotiate down to $60/40 or the lawyer fees will fucking be more that the difference
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:03 PM
3

How much money are we talking about. What about the rest of the financials. Need more context. Sometimes losing the battle winning, the war is worth it. Anything to stay out of court in a trial.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 05:19 PM
6

This is good for you
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 10:02 PM
3

IANAL Joint Legal Custody: means both parents share decision-making authority for major aspects of the child’s life, including: religion, education, medical care and the like. Joint Physical Custody: refers to where the child lives and how their time is split between parents. Usually the child spends significant time with each parent. It does not always mean a 50/50 split and in your case is 70/30. The focus is on ensuring frequent and continuing contact with both parents
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 02:22 AM
25

Adults fuck. She’s fucking him. You’re an idiot for “really letting her have it” to the points that cops get called. You’re an adult with children, be the father they need. Control your actions. She doesn’t give a fuck about your lectures, your moralizing, your thoughts about your meds or you at all. Learn about “gray rock” and how to get through the next year. Time to file for divorce and handle the business transaction of separating a family. It’s time to grieve your marriage and open a new ch…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 10:04 AM
5

Make a throwaway account. Reverse the genders. Go post in r/divorce and see what the responses are. There’s your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 08:06 PM
6

Yep. And sorry bro - a divorce is nothing more than a business transaction. 3 parts: the martial separation agreement (MSA) which is the division of marital assets and debts. A child custody agreement. And spousal support. The all are just a business negotiation. Treat it as such
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 03:17 AM
1

Naw dog, that’s not how it works. Post up your financials and location and we can get you in the ball park. Or even try AI and see what you get.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 12:13 AM
3

She’s fucking crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 09:00 PM
1

Your argument about comparing 401/home values is mathematically correct. However, judges don’t do math. If you went to trial, they won’t take that into consideration. This is a “loose the battle win the war scenario” What’s your take home compared to hers? I’m paying $6000/mo 10 years. And I made out like a bandit.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 07:26 PM
4

This should have been addressed in your parenting plan. Most plans state that the child cannot be moved districts unless both parents agree. Additionally, if she still decides to move then your custody would increase and should become the residential parent for school purposes also
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 08:34 PM
1

Some people just think the judges orders don’t apply to them
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 01:16 AM
1

In my county - the picking up person picks up at the others house. You pick up at hers and she picks up at your place.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 01:06 AM
1

Damn dude that’s terrible. Time for a serious consult with a new lawyer and see if this is possible to get fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 12:14 AM
3

So wait - there was no language is your separation agreement that would allow modification of alimony? What would happen if you became disabled? What would happen if you had to take another job earning less? All of this should have been spelled out in the separation agreement
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 11:51 PM
5

Nobody cares about your problems and half the people are glad you’ve got them
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:24 PM
11

Affair fog is a hell of a drug
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 04:01 PM
2

So wait? You’re telling me that the person you are divorcing and you don’t communicate well? Shocker?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:46 PM
13

Bruh - she don’t give a flying fuck about you and yours. She wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire. Gray rock her and move on
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 09:43 PM
3

Bruh…Rent free. She be living rent free
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 12:38 AM
3

Great response- but few people pay in cash. It’s all Venmo and CashApp
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 03:46 AM
4

🤨
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 10:08 AM
-1

What’s not accurate? My evaluation comes in at 100,000 and their evaluation comes in at 1 million the arbitrator cannot say well it’s worth 500,000. They have to pick one of them. At least in my state.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 12:57 AM
2

In family court - each gets their own valuation. The mediator picks one. They cannot “split the difference” or make up their own number. It’s fucked but that’s what it is
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 10:53 PM
9

Same boat. My kids are in their mid 20s too. Divorced 7 years. Yeah - she’s right. That ship sailed. Your kids are adults. They can be responsible for their mom’s Mother’s Day
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 02:08 AM
2

Bruh
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 03:32 AM
12

Ding, ding, ding. Winner winner chicken dinner. And then the gaslighting to make it seem like he’s the problem
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 02:46 PM
16

Who’s gonna tell him?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 01:49 PM
2

He’ll find you. You don’t have to do anything
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 08:28 PM
5

He/she will find you. And can put a lien on your shit too.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 06:23 PM
3

Bruh - do us all a favor and don’t date anyone again. To answer your question- no. No one and I mean no one gives a flying fuck about your problems. And half the people are glad you have them. If you’re going to do dumb shit things like fuck your subordinates, you better have your shit locked down. You were lazy and sloppy and got busted.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:16 AM
7

Live rent free in your head. Mixed signals to leverage a negotiation. She’s horny and wants fucked. Does it matter? Ignore her
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 12:17 PM
8

Bruh - she already getting fucked hard. Just not by you
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 03:11 AM
6

Here’s what I tell people- look at your job/career/trade - how many people do you know that suck at their job? A lot right? It’s no different with attorneys. 90% suck or are barely adequate. Your job is to find the 10%
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:27 PM
2

How much equity do you have in the home? How much are the 401 balances? How much were they prior to the marriage? Other assets and debts accumulated during the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:23 PM
5

When you loose hope that things will improve in the future
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 11:12 PM
2

Can she file at some point? Yes. Will she win? Thats another issue.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 10:54 PM
0

Bruh - the pronouns you are looking for is she/her. This they/them crap unreadable. And yes- your exwife is trying to destroy your life. She is trying to undermine you. She’s not the person you married, she’s now your mortal enemy. And yes - her ultimate goal is to have full custody and cut you out of her life completely - except for your money. She’ll still want that
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 08:11 PM
10

This is 💯 what happened
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 10:10 PM
8

First thing that I would do is quietly secure the child’s passport.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:10 PM
1

Hahahahahhahahahahhahahaahhahahabhahahhahahah Nope
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 02:24 PM
1

Learn about attachment styles in relationships. She’s an avoidant attachment. She did you a favor
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 12:09 AM
2

Bruh? You ok?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 11:46 PM
1

Lay it all out and let’s see where you’re at
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:41 PM
3

Why did you file a legal separation and not just divorce 6 years ago?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:21 PM
1

All the same -alimony/spousal support/spousal severance packages
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 05:33 PM
6

I do cover everything for the kids. College, cars, insurance, spending money. Everything. That was part of it too. She left my businesses alone and I gave her a car and paid off home and a fixed income to get her to a point when she can access retirement money. She was good with that. Again, it’s all a business negotiation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 08:36 PM
9

When i divorced I was making $350,000 to $400,000. I would net $15-$20,000/mo. Currently make about $975,000. Got rid of the wife and everything else in my life got better
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 08:04 PM
7

OH - we negotiated $6000/mo for 10 years. 24 year marriage. She would have gotten 6 at trial and the amount could have been anywhere between $5000 and $10,000 It’s a business transaction. Treat it as such
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 03:46 PM
4

Jesus bro - sac up and stop taking legal advice from your wife. She’s going to owe you money and she doesn’t want to pay. Also - she’s fucking someone else
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 01:44 AM
3

“She says” is not legal advice. You’re owed a lot more. Don’t believe me? Reverse the genders and go post is R/divorce and read the responses.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 12:25 AM
4

It could be a basic business transaction, until she gets the hens chirping in her ear about what “she deserves”
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 08:59 PM
6

I want my dick sucked every day too. If you didn’t adopt, didn’t sign anything, and didn’t hold yourself out as the father long-term, you likely aren’t liable. But you should still fight any attempt to impose support—don’t assume the judge will automatically see it your way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 01:31 AM
3

💯 I would argue that most everyone can benefit from counseling. We all need someone to listen to us. No judgement. Just listening.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 03:09 AM
3

Turn the tables around, you’re the engineering and she’s the schoolteacher. Do you think she’d leave you alone? You know the answer. Take the money. It’s not about gender. It’s a business transaction pure and simple. And when she goes and starts a relationship with a physician making $1 million a year you’re gonna feel really stupid that you didn’t take the money then.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 01:41 PM
11

She’s letting peers and instagram raise her daughter. It should be her parents. You’re right. She’s wrong
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 03:14 AM
5

Hold it back from whatever you owe her in the future. You’re not going to waste money going to court over it and neither will she.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 04:23 PM
2

When you lose hope that things can improve in the future
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 07:17 PM
6

See your friends - see your future
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:02 PM
1

Please tell me English is your second or third language. This makes no sense.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 03:33 AM
11

Bruh - stop listening to your dumb wife. She’s your mortal enemy. File and tell her to kick fucking rocks
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:50 AM
5

Jesus dude. Grow a pair end this craziness You’re trying to manipulate her with the 80/20 and 50/50 and vacations and the bull shit. Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence? That means shut the fuck up. Quit communicating with her. Gray rock her. End the fucking co-dependency.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 12:56 AM
3

Jesus fuck dude. She’s not your friend. Get a dog or a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 04:31 PM
20

Who’s gonna tell him?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 01:26 PM
2

My friend’s ex-wife tapped their HELOC for breast implants - then filed. Diabolical - but not dumb on her part
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 01:46 PM
4

Bruh - sack the fuck up. She’s for the streets and cut the bitch off. Unfuxking real
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 09:43 PM
2

So divide assets acquired during the marriage by 2. I’d consider throwing $10,000 at her to do an uncontested dissolution and be done with it
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 08:59 PM
3

NAL but I’m in Ohio and in my county less than 5 years is a short marriage with no support awarded. If it is awarded it’s generally 1 yr of support for every three years of marriage. So like 18 months tops. As far as amount - she’s more than capable supporting herself in $70,000. Hell, the judge is probably only making $125,000 and I’d bet the magistrate is only making $95,000. She’ll get half of debts and assets accumulated in the marriage. But, it’s a business transaction and treat it as such.…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 08:29 PM
2

Nope
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 08:24 PM
1

Exactly!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 02:29 PM
11

A few things will happen. Most of y’all have wives that spend money without a relationship with reality. Staying married would have resulted in increasing budgets every year. Well, now your ex is a fixed amount. It makes it infinitely easier to budget. Whatever you’re paying her, it’s a known amount and is the same every month. Yes, it’s going to suck. Yes, your standard of living is going to take a hit for a while. But, your career will take off. You’ll have less stress and drama in your life. …
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 01:30 PM
2

Kids aren’t dumb. They will be well aware of what’s happening. More is caught then taught. They will see you setting boundaries with their mother. They will see you being a good father to them when you have them. She’s not your problem. Look, you can make all the fucking excuses and rationalizations - but at the end of the day - you still want to control her. Let her the fuck go. She’s not your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 04:50 AM
5

2 years minimum. The first 12 months are a grieving period. The next twelve are healing. And that’s only if he does the work. We talk about what that means, but if he’s not doing the work - it won’t be a good relationship
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 06:30 PM
1

Bruh - you’re co-dependent. Stop fixing her problems. And stop using the kids as an excuse. Buying “crap for the kids” is not taking care of them. She’s horrible with money and always will be. You’re not fixing her. The kids need stability. Let them find it with you. Unless she’s dangerous/harming the kids, let her sink.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 11:39 AM
3

You’re turning her problems into your problems. Stop solving her problems When you divorce, whatever the number is, the number is. She’s not going to able to survive on it. Not your problem. Focus on you, and once you’ve fixed your expense (her) you’ll end up better off
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 04:05 AM
19

Create a throwaway account. Reverse genders in your situation. Keep the rest of the details the same - lol at the responses
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 08:43 PM
6

Bruh - you copied and pasted one of my other responses!! 😂😂😂😂Fucking brilliant ! And spot on too
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 04:39 AM
35

She’s fucking someone else She has zero respect for you She wants you to pay for everything while she fucks other dudes. Divorce, be done with her. Figure the rest out. It’s going to fucking suck balls for 1-2 years but you’ll come out better
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 04:30 AM
5

Bro - just stop
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:27 AM
21

Hmmmm. So men are responsible for their actions but women are the victims of their hormones when they destroy their family. Gotcha. Why can’t it be that some people are just shit people and make shit decisions and try to avoid accountability for their CHOICES
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 02:15 AM
2

Bruh - you gonna still be married to her this time next year. Don’t waste your time with a legal separation. And stop paying, or sell some shit or work 100 hours a week.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 05:47 AM
5

It’s the same old story every single time. It’s happened to all of us, me included. Fortunately for you, you’ve got hundreds of bros that got your back. Listen to us. We’ve all been there Be sweet as fucking pie to her. Do not fight with her. Do not cry. Do not beg. Look right through her and take comfort that you’re nobody’s chump. Speaking of chumps - go to chumplady.com and r/survivinginfidelity
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 01:29 AM
14

Bruh - rent free. She’s living rent free in your head. You need to stop giving any fucks about what she does or doesn’t do. Here’s a newsflash. She dont give a fuck about you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 10:09 PM
33

She cheating. Stop begging. Learn to grey rock her. Don’t speak to her unless it’s about the kid. Period. She’s now your mortal enemy. Treat her as such. Separate your finances. Redirect your paychecks to new account. Cut her off your credit cards. You have no friends anymore. No one gives a shit about your problems and half the people are glad you’ve got problems. Tell them nothing. When they ask what’s happening - “things didn’t work out like we planned and thank you for respecting our privacy…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 12:09 PM
4

This is the way. There’s a bunch of apps. Cheaters are known to install and delete apps. Also, sometimes if your Apple account is on the family plan and you have purchase sharing enabled you can look at downloaded apps. Also, if you have access to her phone - settings>privacy&security>System services (all the way at the bottom)>significant locations (3/4 the way down) It’s enabled by default- if it’s turned off, she made a significant concerted effort to hide her location. But, tells you where s…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:01 PM
1

Yes. Got my own.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 06:34 PM
12

OBGYN - I went from independent solo practice to a large physician owned group that I’m now a part owner of.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 05:56 AM
28

When I divorced in 2018 I was making $350k ish a year. I agreed on $6000/mo for 10 years. That was tight. Making $950k now. That payment is an afterthought now Hang in there. This is the bottom and it only gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 03:36 AM
1

That’s a terrible idea. If neither of you can afford the home - it should be sold
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 05:51 PM
1

In most states, anything that occurs after the separation date doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 07:12 PM
1

You’re absolutely right. But litigation and experts and years in court is how that ends up. Big money spent being right.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 11:22 PM
12

Bruh - they fucking
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 08:14 PM
3

It’s a balance sheet. Forget what was spent during the marriage, that’s all community property. Unless you had significant premarital assets this is how it works Create a spreadsheet of your assets and debts. Divide by 2. So, you have $200,000 of equity in your house, each of you is owed $100,000. She wants to stay - she owes you $100,000. There’s $500,000 of money in retirement. Each of you have $250,000 coming. Say she wants the house, she can “pay” you by only getting $150,000 of retirement -…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 05:23 PM
5

Prenups only protect what you bring into a marriage. There’s no protecting what you accumulate during a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 02:11 PM
1

$6000 for 10 years
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 02:05 PM
6

Listen to this guy. Don’t play the pick me dance. Learn about “gray rock” which is basically you’re only going to communicate with her about the kids. Learn about boundaries and how to set them. Basically, when she starts gibberish nonsense at you that isn’t about the children you say “I would only like to communicate about the children, so I’m going to end this conversation now” and resume what you were doing or walk away. Go to the gym, eat healthy, pray, meditate, walk, sleep. Read books - li…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 02:40 AM
1

You can file and appeal to the judge. But your lawyer should have told you this already
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 09:10 AM
2

What was the length of marriage? Also, since you’re a teacher - I’m willing to bet that you could get more than 50/50 especially in the summer! You only work when the kids are in school. She’ll need to send them to daycare depending on their ages. Plug in your incomes into your state child support calculator. You’re owed money. Serious money. Same with spousal support. How long was your marriage? She’s trying to get out of this cheap! Would she be taking the offer if she make $60k and you made $…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 01:17 AM
3

Exactly! Reverse it and we all know what would happen
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:26 PM
3

I’m not even going to waste my energy reading that drivel. Let. Her. Go. She showed you who she really is, believe her. Leave that message on “read” and get on with it. Get an attorney. Get a therapist. Secure your assets. Get to the gym. No drinking or drugs. Walk, meditate and exercise. Focus on you and your recovery. You’re going to grieve the loss of your marriage and will take one year minimum. You’ll go through all of the steps of grieving. You’ll have setbacks- give yourself grace. But do…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 08:49 PM
2

Sometimes people just want normal adult interaction.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 02:57 AM
6

What happens when she doesn’t pay the mortgage? When happens when she doesn’t pay the repairs. What happens in 2 years when you want to buy a house but can’t because you have another mortgage? The answer is-you’re fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 03:17 PM
11

Hahahahahbahahaba Welp - if you think this is a good idea and win/win - you are going to get your clocked cleaned by her. This is an absolute TERRIBLE idea. She’s made her problem your problem. Don’t believe me - imagine you are both divorced - you each walk away with whatever you have. But, you’ve got a nice chunk of cash because you’ve been smart over the years. Would you go buy, and finance her “dream home” that she can’t afford and rent it to her? Of course not. That’s just the stupidest thi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 08:00 PM
12

Bro - stop And I was having some drinks tonight with my friends and there was all the VD couples having dinner. They were all staring into the abyss or their phones. No one was talking to each other. It was a comedy skit but real
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:35 AM
1

Explain? Because if you’re the only one litigating- the judge may give you everything you ask for
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:57 AM
3

I disagree with the lump sum. Here’s why: you may die (your net worth and estate is lower and affects your beneficiaries), you may become disabled (mine goes away if I become permanently disabled - imagine not being able to work and having given away hundreds of thousands of dollars), she may die, she may co-habitate or remarry (she won’t but the irony is that she’s telling her friends that you were too controlling during the marriage - well now you are controlling her residency) And, your incom…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:26 AM
19

Bro you for real? She’s for the streets cut her loose.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 04:57 PM
4

50/50. Boys were teens and ended up being 90% me
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 11:07 PM
2

Turn the tables - would you let her move away with the child or would you want consistency and fight for much increased custody
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:29 PM
1

What state? What’s does your separation agreement say?
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 07:04 PM
11

She doesn’t understand what divorce means. When you’ve upgraded and have a younger, prettier, smarter, better employed girlfriend - she will change her tune
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 12:58 PM
3

Not sure how. You’re not married. Might as well put me on your insurance. Your child yes, your ex - nope. Not allowed
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 03:50 PM
10

Tell. You are not the gatekeeper of the truth. She (the other spouse) is making plans with her life using incomplete information. She should know the truth. What she does with that information is up to her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:25 PM
13

Just so we are clear - he didn’t cheat on her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:11 PM
10

What birthday? These people are not your friends.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 01:57 PM
7

Sleeping with the enemy bro - these people are not your friends. Be polite and courteous but NEVER let your guard down.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:49 AM
2

Have you ever gone to an al-anon meeting? Also, learn about co-dependency and caretaking behavior. You may find it familiar. I’ll end with - the only thing you can control are your thoughts and actions. Everything else is out of your control. What she does or doesn’t did is not your concern.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 02:46 AM
3

Exactly right.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 10:35 PM
6

What state?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 05:12 AM
2

Medicaid has no out of pocket costs. We call it the “Gold Card.” Unlimited ER visits. Unlimited office visits. Free prescriptions (when they are on formulary or prior authed) I don’t know - this is pretty ambiguous language for a separation agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 03:46 AM
2

Sounds like you agreed to cover her for a year in your separation agreement. Does it say what insurance is acceptable? I am a physician and I am intimately aware of Medicaid and insurance plans. I’m willing to bet that any of the hospital owned practices in the area or university affiliated physicians accept Medicaid. In fact, probably most private practices do also. Maybe just not her preferred provider. But, if it doesn’t specify in the separation agreement- again she’s not your problem anymor…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 03:23 AM
3

Why is Medicaid not acceptable? Why is she still your problem??
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 02:03 AM
5

In all seriousness- a 15 year old should be able to decide where they reside. Hopefully she can come to her senses. My ex and I had 50/50 with me being residential parent. I have 3 boys. They were with me 95% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 12:22 AM
2

Welp - then I potentially see a GAL in your future. Just get ready if things don’t go your way. Hopefully your 15 year old is independent and strong minded and willing to tell the truth
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 12:17 AM
4

Be adults. GAL are generally a nightmare. The last thing you want is some “neutral third party” telling you what you can or can’t do
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 11:36 PM
7

In New York State, child support obligations are typically established from the date a formal petition is filed with the court. This means that any retroactive child support—covering the period between the filing of the petition and the issuance of the support order—may be owed. However, retroactive support generally does not extend to periods before the petition’s filing.  Therefore, if a custodial parent did not file a petition for child support at the time of separation, the non-custodial pa…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 11:27 PM
7

Mediation is for reasonable people
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 03:32 PM
5

Bruh - leave that shit in “read” non response or acknowledgment needed Or just use the passive aggressive 👍🏽
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 12:10 AM
6

Humans can rationalize anything, including murder. Divorce is nothing
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 01:53 AM
2

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 11:36 PM
5

Why did you assume the debt? That shit is 50/50. This is a war - treat it as such
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 11:06 PM
1

What state? 5 years for most is a short marriage - many with no to 18 months of support. Your child support is a formula and your state typically has an online calculator - put in your information
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 09:16 PM
2

Agree with other posters - you need a lawyer. But in the meantime- use ChatGPT - it’s remarkably helpful for legal pleadings and logic
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 05:46 PM
10

Nothing. Just smile and say nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 11:02 PM
1

Your situation is complex and emotionally charged, and you’re absolutely right to seek legal counsel to navigate this. While I’m not an attorney, here’s a breakdown of key points, considerations, and questions you should prepare for when meeting with your attorney: Custody Issues 1. Options for Gaining Visitation: • Since your current order grants your wife sole custody with no visitation for you, you’ll need to file a petition for modification of custody/visitation in the Juvenile Domestic Rela…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 06:55 PM
9

Exactly- she can do whatever the fuck she wants with the house after she writes you a check for $435,000 Or if you owe her from the 401 split - she can pay you with that. Turn the tables - she moves out and you keep the house and just pay the mortgage until you want to sell. Would she go for that? I seriously doubt it. Whenever I’m faced with a dilemma- reverse it and see how it feels. There’s your answer
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 05:40 PM
3

Bruh - stop
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 12:07 AM
1

And actually implement
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 09:12 PM
1

Well there’s your answer. You both have to agree. Neither of you can make a decision on your own. You each need each other
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 12:55 AM
1

Do you have a parenting plan? Who is the medical decision maker?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 12:34 AM
0

Don’t do any debt consolidation. Don’t use those debt relieve companies. Eventually they cut off your credit card. The entire process takes months and years. With your income - you’ll be able to pay cash for things. Watch Dave Ramsey YouTube. You can do this
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 07:41 PM
1

Quit paying the debt.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 04:58 PM
10

Stop paying the debt. Look at Dave Ramsey for advice at this point. Look out for your “four walls.” Food, housing, utilities and transportation. Nothing else needs paid after that - least of which of which is credit cards
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 04:57 PM
5

Sending her a K1 that she owes taxes on would probably motivated her too
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 08:27 AM
1

Coincidental with the time when things have been off. The ILYBNILWY is next (probably already been said)
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 05:33 PM
15

2 years ? - yeah there’s a dude. Sorry bro.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 03:02 PM
6

Learn about gray rock and setting and keeping boundaries
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 05:36 AM
17

Hard truth- she was done
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 06:06 PM
-1

Found the cheater - what’s so fucking PRIVATE between your wife and some Chad? Just pics of her tits and pussy And who are they keeping them from? Just you and the other spouse. No one’s lives are that important that we need encryption of our conversations.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 08:58 PM
13

What 2 schmoes need E2E encryption? What are they discussing? Nuclear launch codes? Please - no sex in 10 years - you’re not a fool you know what’s what
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 01:05 PM
6

You’re literally in mourning. You’re mourning the loss of a live that you had planned. You’ve lost a loved one, just not to death but to whatever bullshit she was up to. So, go through the steps of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Please don’t get stuck in one of the steps. Or, just cheat and accept it - cause it’s fucking over.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 04:54 AM
8

Co-dependency. And you don’t “love her.” Dr. M. Scott Peck, in his book The Road Less Traveled, defines love as: “The will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” Key Points of Peck’s Definition: 1. Love is an Action, Not Just a Feeling: Peck emphasizes that love is not merely a feeling or emotion but an act of will and commitment. 2. Extension of Self: Loving someone requires effort, sacrifice, and the willingness to go beyond one’s comfort zone.…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 04:08 AM
4

Most states to not treat inheritance as a marital asset. Seek advice of local counsel This isn’t as bad as you think.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 02:00 AM
14

Success is the best revenge
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 02:53 AM
2

Bro - why on gods green earth are you selling at wholesale? List it, stage it and maximize your sale. It sounds like $20,000 would really move the needle and make a difference in your life. If it doesn’t, then sell it wholesale and pay her half of the appraisal amount. Whenever I’m faced with a dilemma, I turn the tables and see how it feels to me. I think she’s right.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 01:00 AM
3

She has nothing to loose and everything to gain. What’s your attorney telling you likely outcome at trial? If the lawyer says 50/50 custody and $2,500/mo alimony for 5 years - then I’d go to 70/30 (your favor) and $1,000/mo alimony at mediation. Your job is to convince her that she’s going to do worse at trial. That being said, she has to start the negotiations. Read “Never Split the Difference” by Christoper Voss. It’s a fantastic read
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 10:23 PM
3

Nobody cares about your bullshit. Trust me, he doesn’t GAF. Reverse the scenario- he’s getting divorced and his ex-wife is texting you - do you care? You may say, “awe that’s terrible” and a whole bunch of dumb platitudes- but really you’re just saying in your head -please leave me alone
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 02:51 PM
1

Dude. Get a lawyer. She needs a lawyer. Just be truthful. And except as the poster above states (separation date, reimbursement of squandered marital assets) - an affair is not relevant. And yeah, be honest, you were cheating. In reality- no one cares. I say this frequently here, no one cares about your problems and half the people are glad you have them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 12:55 PM
2

Only one way to know - is to plug the numbers in. You don’t get to pick and choose CS amounts. It’s a calculation for a reason, it’s for the benefit of the child. But , she only has 1 child now. Donthe calculation and let us know what you find out
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 10:37 PM
1

Do your states child support estimate online. If there’s a change, then you can file yourself - it’s just a form and a formula. If you want to modify your separation agreement, you’ll probably need an attorney or can do pro se if you know what you’re doing. ChatGPT could be helpful with the pleadings
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 08:33 PM
7

Rent - and the weeks you don’t have your kids - work like a madman. Sorry bro - you’ve gotta get that income up. Welding, building trades, HVAC, something
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 01:03 PM
12

Show me a woman - I’ll show you a man that’s tired of fucking her
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/25 04:15 AM
1

Gotcha. So yeah if her 401 and pension equal your cash, then great - but hopefully the house doesn’t make you house poor because you’re way behind on retirement. Better get saving at least 25% of your gross and probably more
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 10:06 PM
1

Where’s your $90,000 in investments going?
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 09:54 PM
2

So you’ll have $230,000 in equity and 120,000 in cash? And she’ll have $385,000 and her full pension? Naw. Sell the house. Get a valuation on the pension. She’s going to owe you a pretty penny off the pension. This sounds wildly in her favor
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 09:40 PM
10

Who’s gonna tell her
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 07:25 PM
2

Yeah. It’s difficult to prove but most reasonable ex-wives are afraid to chance it so won’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 10:53 PM
9

Sorry - 10 years. Was married 25. She would have been awarded 8, but negotiated for 10- get her to an age she can access retirement money. We agreed on an amount I could live with. She would have received substantially more if we went to trial. Caught her in the affair fog and she agreed to a reasonable amount
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 09:16 PM
16

After I divorced- my income tripled. It’s a blip in the road. Our agreement is such that there’s no upward modification for her amount. Only elimination if she cohabitates, remarries or I become disabled. Once, you get that negativity and bullshit from your life - watch your career take off
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 09:11 PM
6

I agree. House, 401k, cash, debt - it’s all one big pile. You should each walk away with the same amounts. Sounds like there’s $600k of equity in the house -$300,000 each. The way Cali is, that house may appreciate more than a 401k. Keep the house, QDRO her $300 from the 401 after equalizing the amounts. Or if she wants the house - reverse it. Many possibilities
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:56 AM
21

Yep. If you want entertainment- when you post there, make a throwaway and reverse the genders. Hilarity will ensue
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 08:24 PM
1

Your friend is wrong
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 01:47 PM
3

You can structure the settlement so that she cant come back for additional support
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:51 AM
4

All that shit in your house - it’s worthless. Don’t believe me? When you move into your new place - go buy a used mattress. Take your tools, clothes and personal effects. Pictures of the kids and leave the rest for her. It’s just stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 08:41 PM
12

I put “who my ex fucks” on the list of things that I don’t give a flying fuck about. I don’t give it 1 single thought. Don’t let her live rent free. Move the fuck on - she’s not your worry anymore
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 08:22 PM
5

158 candles. Enough cosemetic and hair products to fill an entire closet. 37 pairs of Lulu yoga pants. And I kid you not 7 fucking Stanley cups 😂😂 I ask myself one simple question - does this add value to my life? That 1/2 cordless impact - it sure as shit does!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 03:30 AM
15

It’s all fucking garbage. I took my tools, my clothes and personal items. That’s it. If you have pictures of kids, take some of them too. Then, start your new life. I’ve grasped minimalism and quit worshipping stuff - except for tools - always need tools
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 03:45 PM
4

The longer you stay married, the more it’s gonna cost ya
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 02:11 AM
3

She needs a new mortgage! Or maybe you have an assumable loan (relatively few are) but she still needs to qualify. This should have all been worked out prior to the divorce
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 11:14 PM
4

If asked “things didn’t work out the way we hoped, I thank you for respecting our privacy during these difficult times” Nobody cares about your problems. No one wants to hear about your problems. And half the people are glad you’ve got problems.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 05:37 PM
1

Mods - We need to sticky this
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 12:44 AM
5

Yep. You got her in the affair fog. Take advantage. The judge will only require child support. Do not offer alimony. If she wanted it, she would ask for it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 11:46 PM
2

Exactly right
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 02:47 AM
2

Don’t be ridiculous. First, the AirTag will notify her. Second, stop giving a fuck what she does or doesn’t do.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 02:27 AM
4

I was told that gender is just a social construct.
/r/MensRights19/12/24 02:52 AM
3

The pronoun you are looking for is “we” We have xyz money. Half of that is yours. We have xyz household income. And you’re entitled to maintain similar after divorce, hence the need for you to receive spousal support. Don’t believe me? Post in r/divorce with a throwaway account and reverse the genders.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 03:04 PM
6

Time. That’s it. Just time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 05:08 AM
5

It’s all garbage. Don’t believe me? Try to sell a used mattress. They are literally worthless. The process is this, you each take what you want. The rest stays with the house. She’s welcome to take anything that you don’t want and try to monetize it. It’s all crap and literally worthless. If she pushes back thinking that she should be compensated for the remaining items, tell her they are hers and she has until x days to have it removed from the house. I walked away from my house and took my too…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/24 12:57 AM
7

Yeah. That’s not gonna work
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 11:02 PM
2

I want to be woken up every day with a blow job. But like Mic Jager says - you can’t always get what you want The simple answer is that you don’t. That’s why you’re getting divorced. Hopefully her lawyer is reasonable
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 04:45 PM
3

There was a mortgage and a heloc. The bank will have the loan docs
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:42 AM
2

No. Just go to the bank. It’s your house and your loan.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:35 AM
1

Need to see the original loan docs.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 04:25 AM
2

None of that matters in the eyes of court. You maaay have a shot at getting the $75,000 back. Otherwise- add your assets and debts by two. Your challenge will be getting your spousal support to a reasonable number.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 01:04 AM
1

What are all of your assets and liabilities? And income
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 11:51 PM
9

Just listen. She’s going to ask for the moon and the stars. Approach it as a business transaction. It’s like buying a car. Those aren’t your kids, they are widgets to be bargained with. You’re going to see a part of her that you’ve never seen. Be like Fonzie
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 04:22 PM
1

Win by a life well lived. Sharp words are meaningless and petty. Nobody gives a fuck about your problems and half the people are glad you got them. So why be small? What does it achieve? Nothing. You want to win? Be successful.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:33 PM
4

Smile and let your new amazing and happiness do the talking. Anything that you say and do against her will validate her decisions to cheat. Smile, be happy, be successful and show her a life well lived.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 02:12 PM
8

Forget the FWB. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. No drinking. No drugs. Eat well. Lift weights. Walk. Meditate. Get your proper sleep. Pray. I suggest starting with a Road Less Traveled- M Scott Peck. No more mister nice guy. I throw in some budgeting books. The Money Guys. The little red book of common sense investing. The Boglehead series. I love Bob Rotella - Golf is not a game of perfect. You get the idea.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 03:46 AM
3

Do what’s in the parenting plan. Nothing more. Nothing less. In many places - the picking up party does just that - pick up the child at the child’s current place (within reason)
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:53 AM
2

Here’s who these lawyers work. They handle what is right infront of them. The “good” family law lawyers are so busy that there’s no planning. So, do the work, collect the information and give it to him when he needs it
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 04:09 PM
2

Exchange offers via email It’s a business transaction, so treat it as such
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:31 AM
14

She not my friend. We are civil and co-parent our children. But we are not friends
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:30 AM
13

Terrible idea. You maintain financial ties to someone that you’re not with. From AI A legal separation and a divorce differ significantly, and each has advantages depending on your circumstances. Here’s a comparison: Advantages of a Legal Separation: 1. Preservation of Marriage Benefits: • Health Insurance: You may remain on your spouse’s health insurance plan, which is typically not possible after a divorce. • Social Security: Staying legally married for 10 years or more may entitle you to Soci…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:27 AM
6

Hysterical bonding
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 03:02 AM
1

Divorce her. Hopefully she works too or short marriage so you won’t have much alimony. A couple of bucks isn’t worth your sanity. Divorce her. Pay the stupid tax and move the fuck on. With your income- you’ll be flush in no time at all
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:45 PM
2

Yes. A judge will care. It’s obvious what you’re doing. Now, take a guys vacation golfing, buy a Patek, do some shit like that and wait 6-12 months and you’ve got a chance. Move the money to your mom - good luck with that
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:40 PM
0

The judge don’t give a flying fuck why you are getting divorced. It’s a business transaction. Treat it as such. Leave the rest to your therapist
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:32 PM
2

A judge absolutely would not like it. It’s called dissipation of martial assets. Very much frowned upon Edit - not sure what’s up here today. A lot of shit advice here.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:29 PM
2

Yeah. That’s not going to work. Turn the tables - would it work against you?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 07:17 PM
10

Why are you leaving the house? Sleep in your bed. If she don’t like it - she can move the fuck out. Otherwise sleep in your bed
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 09:57 PM
12

Ummm. That’s a hard no. You - Normally I’d love to be able to help out, but I cannot do that Her - Why not? You - I’m not able to that Her - Why not? You - same answer There’s no argument. There’s no discussion. There’s no reason given. Just, no. No is a complete sentence. She’ll get the picture soon enough
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:41 PM
0

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅😅
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 05:48 PM
1

What does he do with his time?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 08:34 PM
3

Legally it’s a marital asset. Morally it’s the child’s asset.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:05 PM
1

Never drink on emotions
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 01:54 PM
3

It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy. It’s not your job to make her happy. Happiness comes from within. Love yourself. You’re the source of your happiness. Love is a choice. Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual development- M. Scott Peck So, do you love her? If the answer is yes, then make a choice and love her. If the answer is no, then it’s time to separate. But you’re responsible for your happiness- not her
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:28 AM
13

She’s worried about you drinking and you drink 5 days a year??? That’s not even a thing! No worries there. Here’s the hard truth- unless she agrees that all your marital assets and debts are to be split 50/50 then she’s planning on screwing you over. Please stop listening to her. You’ll have money when you sell your house. Go get your own attorney
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 04:21 AM
4

Naw. They are generally incapable of admitting a mistake. Forget that noise and move on. She’s for the streets now
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 11:34 PM
1

ChatGPT 4.0 $20/mo I just copied your question and put it into ChatGPT. That was the result it generated.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 05:54 PM
5

Easy. You should know her pretty well by now. Higher the attorney that you know that she likes and respects. She’s not going to want to come off, looking like an asshole against her peers. She has to work with these people for the rest of her life. She will generally seek their approval, unless she’s a total jerk Do not hire the attorney that she has lost to or is frequently battling in court with and complains about.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 12:58 AM
2

Set it in the back of a closet. She’s welcome to come get it whenever she wants
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 09:47 PM
7

ChatGPT 4.0 answer It may be possible to reduce or eliminate your spousal support obligation, especially if there has been a significant change in circumstances or if your ex-wife is now self-sufficient. Here are some strategies you can consider: File a Motion for Modification of Spousal Support • Key Factors to Argue: • Your ex-wife’s financial situation has significantly improved (e.g., employment, rental income, or other assets like her home and properties). • Your own financial situation has…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 03:25 PM
1

If you’re going to an appeals court. You’ll have blown through your retainer plus another $20,000.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 04:16 PM
8

Sorry bro, Wait until you find out the real reason.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 03:54 AM
8

Same here. The best that I can say - is that when you cut the bullshit and negativity from your life - good things happen. When you do the work - lifting, counseling, nutrition, quitting alcohol, all of the things we preach - good things happen. When you focus on yourself and your life and happiness - good things happen. Case in point
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 02:22 AM
2

Legal separation is a waste of energy. Just get divorced
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 03:41 PM
5

Pay her $150 from your retirement. Or just sell the house.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 05:41 AM
2

IANAL. But fuck! Yeah I think they just gave you a $300k gift
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 04:33 AM
2

Ummm. It is that simple. She’s probably paying your legal bills. She’s probably paying you alimony. She’s definitely paying you C/S. You need to fight for 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:23 PM
7

You’re separated? If so, then why the fuck you care what or who she is doing? She’s not your worry. She’s for the streets
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 05:10 PM
6

Then cut your losses and be done. The marriage is over. You’re gonna seriously regret paying the mortgage on your house that she lives in. Trust and believe- it’s all rainbows and butterflies now. But wait until either one of you starts a serious relationship. It won’t be then. And sorry bro - I’m calling you on your bullshit - it’s not about “the kids” it’s cause you want to maintain some semblance of control over her. Just divorce - collect the $500,000 from her retirement. Quit claim deed the…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 11:34 PM
8

Structure it as alimony payment. She owes you $500,000 from retirement plans. You pay her x dollars alimony for x years plus a lump sum at 6 years. Get your name off the house and mortgage. Go live your life. Some of your people crack me up. You’re more loyal to the mortgage than you are to the marriage. The mortgage is worth saving but the marriage isn’t. Lol. You absolutely do not want any ties to her financially after the divorce. The cleanest ways to just structure alimony payments.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 10:32 PM
2

You are an enabler. Please go to AlAnon to learn more. Behind every addict is someone that helps them be an addict. That person is you. You cannot control her. You cannot make her stop drinking. The only control you have is over your thoughts and your actions. That’s it! So, plan your future. Learn about co-dependency and enabling. Learn to set boundaries. The first boundary that needs set is that she is NEVER to drive with your children. That’s a hard stop for me. And the boundary goes like thi…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 03:01 AM
1

That’s not how this works. There’s $35,000 of equity. Each of you will get $17,500 from the sale of the house. It doesn’t matter who contributed what, it’s community property. It gets divided by 2
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 05:40 AM
3

Please learn about marital asset dissipation. This is what she has done. And whoever advised her is a moron. The courts don’t look favorably on the party that does this. And as far as “stuff” goes - it’s all trash. I took my personal effects, clothes and tools. She could have the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:30 AM
3

R/survivinginfidelity ChumpLady.com
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 02:30 PM
2

Yeah. Just custody.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:48 AM
6

Ask her WTF she is doing. Inform her that half of that money is yours.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:59 PM
37

Credentialism at work. He showed grace, she needed to be shown the door
/r/MensRights09/11/24 03:58 PM
6

Yes. You’ll be fine. Life has a way of working out. You’re in a better place emotionally and physically and that will translate into your career. You’ll be more positive. Happy successful person because all of the bullshit in your life will have been removed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 01:57 PM
3

People have lost their fucking minds. When will people learn that national level politicians DGAF about us. None of them. It’s not R v D, it’s the ruling class v normal Americans. They are all playing us and we are all pawns. There are two things in this world that we can control – our thoughts and our actions - that’s it. These people are all pissed off and agitated and blowing up their lives over things that are outside of their control. That’s crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:06 AM
4

It’s all just dumb. None of these people give a flying fuck about any of us. My life is so much better when I quit caring about politics. I quit FB and IG years ago. This is my only guilty pleasure and I stay away from politics. By favorite subs are just rolled onto the shop and felling gone wild 😜
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 04:26 PM
23

These fucking people that base their identity on politics and political parties are absolutely crazy. It’s just insane that she’s willing to end a marriage over this. But, she has shown you who she really is - believe her
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 04:18 PM
15

Space is a euphemism for “I’m fucking other dudes”
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 12:51 PM
3

Get a therapist. No one wants to hear about your problems
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 05:15 AM
5

Here’s an idea - file for divorce. You’ve been supporting her for three years. That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve heard all day. Paying for a house that you’re living in. And you’re worried about how expensive divorce is. Keep doing what you’re doing and that’s stupid expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 05:43 PM
6

No. It’s for the benefit of the child. Some judges won’t sign off on agreements that don’t include the stand CS calcutions
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 11:09 AM
7

She’s been fucking for him for a year. Cut all ties to her. All of them. You have absolutely no need to speak another word to her. Also, congratulations! Young are a 25% owner of a business. What are you going to do with your new found business? She’s not your friend. You have no friends. You look out for you. Gym, therapist, walking, no alcohol. All the usual. Cut off her access to your future money. I do see a nice vegas trip in your near future. Change your direct deposit. Cut off her access …
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 01:32 AM
5

One weekend in vegas with hookers, blow and gambling - fuck. I could loose a half mil without even trying
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 01:29 AM
1

FB or Mike linebacker.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 01:18 AM
5

Height, weight, arm span, 40 time, 225 reps? We need the details. D-line? LB? Fullback? TE? These are your best options
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 06:30 PM
1

She writes you a check for your equity in the house. Where that money comes from is not your problem. She can find a new boyfriend, her parents, cash out refi, whatever. It’s not your problem. But yes, she owes you real money. You can also as other suggested trade for you the retirement money. Or she can take on other debt if you have it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 04:11 PM
2

Watching my back account grow
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 11:39 AM
2

What does your separation agreement say?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:33 AM
4

Exactly- this “blowing up” to the friends and kid is a bitch ass punk move. Wanting to be the victim and feel sorry for me. Fuck that. You’re not a victim. Be ice fucking cold. Be the gangster making moves that no one sees coming. I get it, you want to hurt her. You hurt her by not being hurt by her betrayal. By thriving in your new life. By being above all the grade school bull shit. “Thanks for your concern. Things didn’t work out like we hoped. I appreciate you respecting our privacy in this …
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:32 AM
3

And - she’s gonna cheat again. She’s got nothing to loose.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:25 AM
7

Cut bait. Sunk cost fallacy. Waylon Jennings - Out of Jail by Now. I could do this all day. You don’t know what the future holds. After I divorced, my income tripled. That alimony, while substantial, is a fraction of my new income.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:48 AM
2

Exactly. To all the ass hats dumping your shitty marriage crap on your kid - that’s just completely fucked. WHEN your ex does it (and she will do after you’ve opened the door) - you’ll say is shitty for her to do it. There’s no moral high ground here. Leave your kid out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 10:25 PM
3

It’s called “trickle truth” Infidelity has its own jargon. Spend some time over on r/survivinginfidelity and chumplady.com You’re going to get an education
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:09 PM
-7

I disagree with the kid “Things didn’t work out the way we had planned, your mom is an amazing mother and we’ve had a great life together. But things have changed and it’s time for us to go our separate ways” Not another word.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:07 PM
3

You absolutely 100% go for spousal support. If the tables were turned, you know that she would be going after you. All is fair in love and war. And yes, I love mixed metaphors, platitudes and hip hop lyrics
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:05 PM
1

I hope you feel better. Because that’s the only good that came of it. Now she has evidence that you’re what she wants to paint you as. Don’t you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence? Learn to set and keep boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:32 PM
16

Never let ‘em know your next move Don’t you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence? Tell no one. Nobody cares about your problems and half the people are glad you got them. You have no friends. Trust me and repeat after me - you have no friends. Get a therapist. Go to the gym. No drugs or alcohol. You don’t let on that you know about anything until you do what you’re gonna do. And you get an attorney. You separate your bank accounts. You redirect your direct deposit. You cancel her CC on you…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 07:24 PM
14

I don’t think she understands what a divorce is. After you’re divorced, there’s no mechanism for you to pay for her insurance. She will not be eligible on your employer sponsored plan. So the only option would be to pay for her marketplace plan. This would be dumb. she might as well be asking you to pay for her landscaping services for the next 20 years also.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 03:38 PM
11

Why would you have to pay her health insurance?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 03:20 PM
1

Nope. Just maybe a dog. I’d fight like hell to keep my dog
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 12:06 PM
2

Live near your kids. You’ll maximize your time with them. Less time wasted on the pickup thing. Plus, you’ll probably get bonus when she’s busy. You’ll want “right of refusal” language in your parenting plan. Say it’s her time, she’s busy, you can get the kids before she makes other arrangements. Helps if you’re nearby.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 10:59 PM
7

Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:48 AM
10

There’s this thing. It’s called a divorce. You need one. You can’t control what she does or doesn’t do, but you can control your response to her actions. Her actions would cause me to hire an attorney and divorce her
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:38 AM
4

It’s your house? Search with impunity. Who gives a fuck? What’s she going to do? Nothing. There’s nothing she can do. Don’t be a dick about it. Just be calm, cool and collected. Remember “Pulp Fiction?” Be like Fonzi Turn the tables - would she allow you to have hidden camera in the house? Nope. Then why should she have hidden cameras?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:55 PM
28

Hysteroscopic sterilization is not a thing anymore. The device used was “Essure” and has been withdrawn from the market.
/r/MensRights02/11/24 07:40 PM
9

The public side - nobody gives a flying fuck about you, your marriage, your divorce or anyone’s story. No one. And half the people are glad you’ve got problems. Your story is this if anyone asks “things didn’t work out like we had hoped, thank you for giving us privacy during this difficult time” And walk away. Save the rest for your therapist. And yes - you NEED a therapist to dump this shit on
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:36 PM
5

Wait? Whose house? Whose bedroom. Whose closet? This isn’t clear?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:33 PM
6

And never say a single fucking word to her that isn’t about your child. Not one word. Texts get left on read. Phone calls go to VM get left unanswered. Not a single word. And seriously, and it will never get to this, but once the judge speaks with your son, the case is over.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:25 PM
13

You’re a doormat. You’ve let her push boundary after boundary and boundary. She literally has no legal case you. None. I’d pay an attorney $20,000 before I’d pay her a dime.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:11 PM
18

The longer that you are involved in civil litigation, the more that you will realize - no one cares. Period. Full stop. They grant continuances and extensions like I gave out candy at Halloween. The attorneys would love to keep the case alive. It’s easier to keep a case going than get a new client. The judge doesn’t care. It’s easier to keep a case going than get a new one. No. One. Cares. Do what best for you and stop worrying about others. So, please don’t kill yourself, especially over this n…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 01:45 PM
14

I’m 54 and divorced after 24 years of marriage at age 48. So, not too far off from you. Are you married or divorced? If you’re married, then be married. If you’re divorced, then be divorced. My ex-wife and I have 3 adult aged children together. We do communicate about them, but ONLY about them. She’s not my friend and I’m not hers. You should be learning about boundaries and boundary setting. What the two of you are doing isn’t healthy. She’s getting the benefits of you without you. Sorry bro, s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:39 AM
6

Hahaha. Tell her “it’s in our child’s best interest if you move out”. Dad’s are as important as mom’s
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 09:15 PM
6

You need to be better. I would take the 50/50. Here’s why: you’ll make more money. You’re not going to be financially crippled. My ex gets $6000/month - I was making $400/yr and now making $975/yr. Being a father is so important for your child. So important. In fact, my boys moved in with me. Their mother is a good mother, but my boys need me. I would never have allowed them to move away. So here’s what you do. Cut ties with your “soul mate.” It’s bullshit. Focus on parenting and work on yoursel…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 03:50 AM
4

Listen dude. There’s $310k of equity. If she wants the house. She owes you $155k. If you’re on the mortgage - she has to get a new loan regardless. She is not your fucking problem. Get over it. Her money and finances are your fucking problem. You need to be like Paulie in “Goodfellas” - fuck you, pay me. What the fuck do care about her interest rate? Do you think she gives two fucks about you? Nope. If she can’t buy you out and refinance, then sell the place, take your money and start a new fuck…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/24 04:53 PM
8

In most states - YEP! And splitting marital assets 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 11:05 PM
2

Bingo!
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 12:02 AM
19

r/daveramsey Seriously. You all need to get your shit together. That being said. Divorce will be cheaper for you in the long run unless she changes. She’s spending 120% of your money now. 50% is less than 120%
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 11:32 PM
2

Adults fuck. She was (and probably still is) fucking him Get an attorney and file yesterday It doesn’t matter how long you were together, it only matters how long you were married. 4 years is short. She’s probably not getting spousal support Any premarital assets? Add you marital assets up, debts up and divide by two. And yeah - start respecting yourself. You’ve been supporting a woman that lied and cheated (and probably still is) on you for almost a year. Raising her kids. Has this benefited yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 11:31 AM
2

Yes. You owe her $60,000. Yes, you can pay her $60,000 of debt from other sources, say credit cards. Imagine you have $120,000 of equity in your home and $120,000 of credit card debts. If you sold the house and paid off the cards - you each would walk away free and clear. If you want the house - she walks away free and clear and you get the $120,000 equity position in the house and $120,000 of credit card debt. Or you could “pay” her with something else - say from your 401k. Say you’ve got $1MM …
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 05:42 PM
33

Yep. And I was reminded of the scorpion and the frog. It’s a woman’s nature
/r/MensRights22/10/24 12:39 PM
2

Put down the crack pipe. Learn how to use a period and correctly use a comma.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 05:57 AM
14

Terrible. I’m so sorry. She’s still your wife. Do you have children? If so, be the man and person your child need. That’s their mother. If not, she still your wife and the grieving process is going to begin. Godspeed
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 01:21 AM
4

Put her on the list of things that aren’t your problem. Learn about boundaries. Make it clear to her that you will only communicate with her about your child. That’s it. All other communication will be ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 01:20 PM
4

In my state - cohabitation is grounds to cancel/end spousal support. But, here’s how the house should be handled - it’s sold and proceeds split, one party “buys out” the other of their equity position. I would never suggest a deferred sale. That only benefits her. So why do it? What is she giving you in exchange for the consideration?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 01:14 AM
2

There are phone recordings apps.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 04:55 PM
1

Fuck me. You’re making me do this. I’m not even a fucking Trump supporter. Trump is not a policy guy in the least. He can’t articulate a single policy on a single subject- let alone a comprehensive work like Project 2025. His politics are purely transactional. But I’m sure you won’t believe him, but he’s pretty clear here. Trump disavowing Project 2025
/r/MensRights09/10/24 12:33 AM
1

That’s rich if her concerning she married Doug Emhoff - an alleged domestic violence offender per an eye witness
/r/MensRights09/10/24 12:27 AM
4

You hurt her by stringing her along. “I’ve made a mistake. I really like you but I’m not ready to date yet. I’m going to take a year and do some self improvement and grieve the loss of my marriage and family. I sincerely hope our paths cross in the future. Thank you for your understanding and compassion.”
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 12:30 AM
5

50/50 assets. 50/50 parenting time. You may need to sell the house if neither one can afford on your own
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 08:18 PM
1

Quit taking advice from your mortal enemy. You should get 50% of all assets including retirement. The house and its equity is 50% yours. She probably will end up paying your legal fees also Strike while she’s still in the affair fog and will give you anything to be with her new boo.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:00 PM
1

You could not be more wrong. Take your white knight bullshit somewhere else It’s not about “deserve” it’s about what the law allows. The law allows for 50/50 division of assets. The law allows for spousal support. The laws were written for a reason. Turn the tables - she would be asking for the same. That’s what he deserves
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 05:57 PM
2

The word you are looking for is “we.” “We” bought a home, “we” put a down payment on a house, “we” have “$300,000” in cash. We, we, we. Learn the word
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 02:46 PM
3

Bro, you know what you’ve got to do. It won’t be easy. Nothing worth doing is easy. You’ll be so much better off in the long run
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:22 PM
1

I took my tools. I gave her everything else. I came out on top in this battle. 95% of your stuff, is just that - stuff. Let it the fuck go
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 05:48 AM
5

Better than being married to them
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 12:01 AM
7

Dude. We’ve told you a bunch of times. Get a lawyer. Stop taking legal advise from you enemy. If you don’t have money, then neither does she. You’re married. It’s all of your money!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 05:50 PM
9

I don’t think you fully understand how SS retirement benefits work. You can file for whoever has the higher credits. It doesn’t affect the other’s amount received. If she makes/made more money than you because you didn’t work much or earn much, then sure. Go right ahead. My ex wife will file on mine. It won’t affect how much I can collect.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 01:38 PM
9

Nope. You’re still married. and everything that is done that concerns the kids, the overriding principle should be “what’s in their best interest.” Tell you wife, “shame on you for using the kids as pawns in our bullshit” She’s not the decider. You both are.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 09:45 AM
5

You’re getting fucked. Don’t believe me? Post in the divorce subreddit and reverse the genders. Unless you’re abusive, you should get 50/50. You will get child support. You will get 50% of the 401 that was acquired during the marriage. You know the rest. Don’t take legal advice from your adversaries. If you were in a business dispute with another business that threatened your business, would you take legal advice from opposing counsel? Fuck no you wouldn’t. It’s the same here. That lawyer is leg…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 03:38 PM
20

Here’s what you do: Read “No more mister nice guy” or listen on audible Separate your finances. You get a new bank account and make your direct deposit there. You pay your bills from your account and the rest of the bills are 50/50 and you cut her off the credit cards and she can get her own She can sleep in the guest room or couch or basement. She wants the divorce, she can leave the marital bedroom You only communicate with her about kids (if you have them.) Not another word about anything els…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 10:25 AM
6

I used to make $350 when I was married. I make $900+ now. Go live your best life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 03:52 PM
3

Prostitutes, gambling and cocaine.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 12:53 PM
10

Don’t be a fool. Follow the law and legal precedent. Because if the tables were turned, that’s exactly what she would do to you. Stop the white knight shit
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 07:51 PM
1

Add all of your assets up. Divide by 2. Along the way, she cuts her hours because you’re killing it. Starts to work on herself. Ten years Lester you’re making double of what she is making. Takes half of the marital assets and now you’re paying her permanent alimony with your 25 year marriage. Edit. What you can do is consider a post-nuptial agreement. Because let’s be honest- this is not a marriage, it’s a business agreement. And every good business agreement has a clear separation clause
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:21 PM
11

Ok. I get it. Say you’re 40 and she’s 30 and your son is 5. In 15 years, he’s 20 and living his life. You’re 55 and she’s 45 and it’s now just the 2 of you at home. You barely have sex because, let’s be real, she’s not going to want to fuck her roomate. You’ve spent time getting your shit together and look great. You’re good with money and have accumulated at ton of money and are contemplating when you retire. But your life is boring and dull. And you’re not going to divorce because you don’t wa…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:03 PM
13

Do not do this. Nothing good comes from this. It may make you feel better, but in the no one, and I mean no one cares. You’re just trying to be the victim and gather sympathy. Don’t be a victim. No body cares about your problems and half the people are glad that you have them. Quit all social media. And if anyone asks you what happened, your answer is “things didn’t work out like we planned, and thank you for respecting our privacy during this difficult time.” Get a therapist. That’s the person …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 12:21 PM
6

Show her no emotion except happiness, contentment and approval. Nothing sarcastic, no snide remarks, no disappointment, no nothing. Absolutely no negativity. She says she’s going out - smile and say have a great time. And then plan something fun and special with your son. She says she’s working lake, take you son to dinner and enjoy the extra time. She’s going away for the weekend, great! Take your son somewhere fun. Don’t try to control her, don’t manipulate her. Go to the gym. Lift heavy. Take…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 02:11 AM
4

The word they are searching for is “raping”.
/r/MensRights01/09/24 08:52 PM
7

Yes. Wrote a note and sat with a loaded gun in my hands. Very dark indeed. Please contact someone, anyone. You are loved and your life is worth living. PM me anytime 💙
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 05:37 PM
12

I’d be gay if it weren’t for rhe sex
/r/MensRights31/08/24 12:14 AM
6

Based
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 02:37 AM
5

Bro - give it up. Who gives a flying fuck what they do or don’t do? You’re trying to control her. Stop. Your only concern is your child. Unless the dude a pedo or some shit, then let it the fuck go. She’s living rent free in your head. Time to move on and stop caring. If not, you’re going to be miserable
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 04:58 PM
15

“She is the source of my depression/alcoholism” Are we all just whistling past this one? No she isn’t. You are the source. Not her. You and you alone are responsible for your thoughts and actions. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want to fuck or be around a depressed alcoholic either. Time for some introspection.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 10:22 AM
6

Oh, in about friends. You don’t have any. When friends ask you what’s going on your answer is things didn’t work out like we planned. I thank you for respecting our privacy. . Nobody cares about your problems absolutely nobody. And half the people are glad you got them. Only speak to a therapist. Nobody else.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:45 AM
16

Wrong. You’re a hands on father. A provider. A friend. And you think she’s going to BLOW UP HER ENTIRE LIFE AND THE LIVES OF 5 CHILDREN for no discerning reason? Nope. Wrong. Here’s what you do. You separate yourself from her physically in the home. Spare bedroom basement or better yet have her separate herself from you in the house. She’s the one that wants this. You communicate with her only about the children. That’s it... You open a new account that is only yours. You make your paycheck goin…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 12:39 AM
23

She’s aware that you catch more flies with honey. So she’s being kind to get something from you
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 05:51 PM
8

Ugh. So sorry you’re going through this. My dad used to say “they better pray I never get diagnosed with a terminal illness”
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 12:08 AM
6

Anything and everything you say and do will be used against you. The marriage is over. Be civil and respectful. But you’re no longer friends. Learn about setting and keeping boundaries. You owe her nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 01:15 AM
1

I’d be gay if it weren’t for the sex part - think “I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry”
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 08:42 PM
1

It’s a business transaction. Get as much as possible from her. She would do the exact same if the tables were turned
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 03:46 PM
1

Excellent. This needs a sticky
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 03:43 PM
4

Yep. Co-dependent behavior
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 10:51 PM
4

What would you have done if you didn’t divorce? That’s your answer
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 04:04 AM
3

It’s all a business transaction at this point. Think like a businessman and do what’s in your best interest
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 02:37 AM
12

And yes. You’ll want “her” money. It’s really “our” money. That being said - reverse it. Would she try to get “your” money if she was the SAHM? I’m pretty sure the answer is yes. So there you go
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 03:34 PM
2

She needs a jobby job. But, why wait 4 more years? More alimony. Larger assets to be divided. What’s the upside?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:53 AM
1

He was asking about what you would fight for. That doesn’t mean you will get it. If your ex-wife is a great mother and you’re a great father - then yes - 50/50. Why would anyone fight for more in this scenario. His scenario is his ex seems to not be a good mother but he’s considered only going for 50/50. Hell no
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 09:03 PM
3

Pure and simple - what’s in the best interest of the children. That’s the only guiding principle
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 06:47 PM
6

I went to the Ritz Carlton Half Moon Bay. Rented a M4 convertible. Played golf. Lifted. Massage. Spent a week alone. Good times
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 01:02 AM
11

Leave your shit with the baby mama aside. That has nothing to do with the child. Every child deserves a good father.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:16 PM
7

The cause of the divorce is irrelevant to the court in almost all jurisdictions with a few exceptions. Given the duration of marriage and income disparity, you’re going to pay child support along with spousal support. Your only hope is to catch her in the affair fog and have her agreed to, a separation agreement that is “fair” in order to quickly end this. However, once the cackle of hens gets in her ear and convinces her huh you’re abusing her and treating her unfairly she’ll lawyer up and then…
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 08:33 PM
1

What’s your income? What’s her income? How long was marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 06:19 PM
5

For $7000? He’s not bankrupt. He could have settled that debt for less than 50% had he just paid attention.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 03:05 PM
12

Don’t file bankruptcy. You ignored a lawsuit? Sorry bro - that’s straight dumb. No problem ever solved itself. You need a 3rd and 4th job. There’s a 168 hours in a week. You need to be working 80 or 90 of them. It’s not forever, just for a season. Get these debts paid off. Also, watch some Dave Ramsey YouTube and learn about debt and budgeting. Quit eating out. Quit vacationing. Quit all non-necessities (food, shelter, transportation and utilities) for now and crush that debt. Get an emergency f…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 12:35 PM
4

She’s a cunt. She’s trying to hurt you and ends up hurting the boys. Basically have a conversation like this. I think that we can agree that it’s of utmost importance that children have BOTH parents involved in their upbringing. That parenting time is of utmost importance to the children. That the way things have been going by trying to limit or eliminate one person’s parenting time, only hurts the kids. Tell her, turn about is fair play. She wants money. Unless it’s explicitly in the parenting …
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 02:06 AM
3

Jesus dude - it’s over. They are laughing at you. Sorry to say. Move her to spare bedroom. File. Gym. No alcohol. Get a therapist. Gray rock that bitch (YouTube if you don’t know). And only talk about the kids. Start the financial separation. Cut her off your credit cards. Change your direct deposit to an only you bank account. Take 50% of the money from joint accounts to yours. Tell her to fuck off
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 03:43 PM
2

Sounds like you’re a retire/rehire situation. This is very much local jurisdiction dependent. Some don’t provide for alimony during retirement- others do. You need effective local counsel. And yes - stop talking to your STBXW. What she wants and what she gets are 2 different things.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 03:53 PM
5

What’s her income and what’s your income? Ages, current assets, pre-marital assets, career trajectory for each? Provide some numbers and we can give you a likely scenario
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 06:04 AM
2

The only people on the planet that circumcise babies are Jews and Muslims (the are more similar than they let on) and Americans. The rest of the planet doesn’t do it. If his father was born in Italy, he’s probably not circumcised.
/r/MensRights28/07/24 03:30 AM
4

You’ll be posting here this time next year - best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 01:56 AM
10

File yesterday. If she’s calling you names. This marriage is over. I would suggest trying to find her hidden accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:58 PM
10

As a professional- online ratings are absolutely meaningless.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 09:55 PM
4

Follow your attorney’s advice
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 10:10 AM
3

What everyone else has said is true. I’ll give you my opinion and it’s worth exactly what you’re paying for it. First, you’re dating way too soon. Work on you for a year before dating. You wanna tinder hookup great. Don’t date. It takes time to grieve the loss of a marriage and family. Work through that first. Work on yourself. Become a better person-physically, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. Finally - put everything on hold for 6 months. Don’t date. Don’t progress with the divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 08:25 PM
7

You’ll end up better unless your wife was frugal during the marriage. Men can live on nothing. My monthly budget with 90% custody of 2 kids and a third in college was $10,000. While married was easily $20,000. So, even with her spousal support - I’m still ahead
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 12:31 AM
13

I’m actually shocked it’s not 100%
/r/MensRights22/07/24 02:27 PM
2

This will be the mind fuck - you’re never going to know. You’re going to have to come to terms with the reality that some things don’t have answers. My EW cheated on me multiple times over the years during our 24 year marriage. I never knew. It’s a long story but the short story is - she cheated for no reason. Blew up an otherwise good marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:53 AM
1

Think of the virus (HIV) that causes AIDS. Not the virus that causes a cold sore (HSV)
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:50 AM
3

Has she been diagnosed by an infectious disease specialist? Or is this just getting figured out from her initial positive screen?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 01:39 AM
2

I pay $6000. 6 years down and 4 to go Your income goes up and hers won’t. Women don’t realize that living on a fixed income is not easy. Especially with inflation.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:55 PM
1

$750,000 + $600,000 = $1.3MM which is $650,000 each. You also each have $500,000 in equity in the house. You have 3 options for the student loans. 1. Pay them off with the $600,000. 2. Convince her that’s her debt and she’ll keep it (fat chance) 3. Refinance half of it and pay at your discretion. I’d personally do 1. Personally- I’d give her the house and (and the ongoing expenses) and take all of the after tax cash ($300,000 that she owes) and only give her $125,000 in retirement. She would the…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:36 PM
2

Yes. If she’ll go for it
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:21 PM
1

So basically you’ve got $1 million in equity in the house. To buy each other out one would owe the other one 500,000. If it were me, she could “pay you” the $500,000 she owes you with the money you owe her from the retirement. Assuming you have at least 1 million in retirement. so for example, if you had a total $1 million in retirement, you owe her 500,000. This way you would walk out of the marriage with still $1 million in retirement she would still have nothing. But she would have the house.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:11 PM
2

After tax investment accounts are generally split. As far as retirement accounts, generally they are equalized. So if you have 1 million in yours and she has 500,000 in hers, then you would have QDRO which would then send $250,000 tohers. If there is significant assets in retirement, this is what I would recommend using to buy each other out in the house. It’s basically a business transaction in horse trading. You each walk away with equal assets, but not necessarily individual equal account val…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:06 PM
1

I gave her the house. We had plenty of other assets that she exchanged with me (commercial real estate). You could do the same. Say you have a combined million dollars in retirement funds. Say there’s $500,000 of total equity in the house. She could buy you out of the house (or vice versa.) she would then have the house in $250,000 in cash and you would not have the house and have $750,000 in cash.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:46 PM
4

Two years? I think you should each walk away with what you walked into the marriage with and I would work to try to convince a judge of the same.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:32 PM
1

Be adults. Learn to work with each other. There’s going to be a bunch of times when it’s “your weekend” that you’re going to want to switch and vice versa. Unless you’ve got something pressing your time and she didn’t give you any notice - go pick up your kid and enjoy the bonus time with your child. Alternatively- she’ll just send the kid to a sitter or daycare and that’s not what’s best for your child
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 03:08 PM
1

You don’t. They won’t change your mind. You won’t change theirs
/r/MensRights20/07/24 03:01 PM
1

Inheritance is generally not community property - unless it has been “co-mingled.” And that MAY have occurred here. You’ll definitely need consultation with an attorney. In general - divorce is a business negotiation (except for child support). There are 3 parts - child custody and support, division of marital assets and spousal support. In your case - you’re going to want 50/50 custody and then child support based on an “imputed income” for her. She could work and make money - she’s just choosi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 01:52 PM
5

You 100% should. You do not have an exclusive right to the truth. You’re not telling the other betrayed spouse to get back at the cheaters - you’re doing it because they have a right to know the truth in the their life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:09 PM
9

She hasn’t fessed up to all of it. It’s called “trickle truth.” More to come
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 05:59 PM
10

chumplady.com Sorry you’re living this. It’s going to be a terrible ride. Godspeed
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 05:58 PM
2

I may be wrong on this - but it sounds like you may want to try to sell everything. Payoff all the debts and then split the remaining. Then, you would just have to negotiate some type spousal support. That will be your biggest sticking point. I would sell it as a “fresh start.” She may not like it - but that may be the cleanest
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 05:20 AM
5

So - ya’ll have $260 in retirement. Which means that you have $130 and she was $130. Ya’ll have $150 in debt, so each of you have $75,000 of debt. You’re going to split everything in 2. Your main concern is going to be alimony - it may be permanent depending on your location and length of marriage. We need a lot more details to help
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 12:38 AM
19

Adults fuck. They’re fucking
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 11:45 PM
3

Co-habitation is the term. Very much state and local court dependent. But you’ll want language the spouse support terminates on either of your deaths, your permanent disability, remarriage or co-habitation. Does he have his own home or apartment? If so, you’ll loose. You have to prove to the court that the reside together and that he contributes to the household finances.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 09:19 PM
2

Yeah. They work at their pace. They file continuances and extensions all of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:20 PM
4

What’s best for your son? There’s your answer
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:08 AM
3

I like this idea. But, I also like the idea of winning. That’s the best revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 10:17 PM
2

😂 I raised 3 boys so I’ve never actually watched the movie
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 04:11 AM
4

This is the shit that you need to learn to ignore. You need to start playing the long game. And that means not winning every battle in order to win the war. Channel Ariel and say to yourself “let it go, let it go 🎶🎼” You can only control 2 things in this world. Your thoughts and your actions. In this scenario- they controlled you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 02:34 AM
0

Edit - im dumb
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 12:28 AM
1

3 years. No kids. You leave with what you brought plus split any increase as joint assets
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 03:58 AM
6

Stop dating. You’re not ready
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 04:31 AM
3

My income tripled after I divorced. Better mind. Better work. Better money.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 06:59 PM
6

All AMERCIANS We are all EQUAL under the law. Male, female, white, black, purple, gay, straight, transgender. All equal. And when the military gets you - your individuality gets broken down and everyone is green and expendable
/r/MensRights10/06/24 05:05 PM
3

Nope. Now I wonder what’s wrong with me 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 12:46 AM
4

5 months? I seriously doubt the court is going to waste its time and reconsider this
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 08:44 PM
6

No. See, that’s a complete sentence. To everyone of those requests from your “wife” - “no” should have been the answer. Please learn about setting and maintaining personal boundaries. It’s a required skill and will take some training on your part. As far as the kid goes - smile and them and say “thank you for your concern” and turn and walk away. There’s not a single thing you can tell them that is going to change their mind or position on anything. So, why try? Don’t even engage. I’m not going …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 04:12 AM
3

If you’re correct - then that would increase your support obligation. So - the short answer is “no” the step parents income is not part of the equation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 05:16 PM
0

Your ex’s spouse’s income is not considered by the court.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 05:15 PM
1

Unless she’s a more and she’s not going to sign that. The only caveat being unless she has an asset that she would like to protect from you. Say she had an inheritance that she commingled and would like to keep for herself. I’m in year six of a 10 year alimony arrangement and was married 24 years.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:50 PM
16

Get off dating apps and dating all together.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 08:01 AM
13

The court doesn’t give one flying fuck about what she’s adamant about. The court only cares about what is best for the kids. What’s best for the kids is for them to remain in the same community that they have been in with 2 parents that can share 50/50 in the upbringing. And sorry - no judge is going to sign off on “no child support” even if that’s what the mother says she wants if she has no other source of income. Again - the prevailing interest is what’s best for the kids
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 09:07 PM
-2

Tell it to the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 05:15 AM
4

Cheated first time while engaged with an ex boyfriend. “Just wanted to see if I really loved you. Cheated all during my residency while I was working 100 hours a week and she was a flight attendant. “It was just a little fun it didn’t mean anything.” Cheated with my son’s baseball coach. “It’s just a fling, it doesn’t mean anything.” Cheated with some random dude she met at a college football game that she went to with her girlfriends. I didn’t find out until the last one. She filled me in as a …
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:56 PM
5

It’s not worth it. Cut ties. Block/gray rock her. Then all the usual. No alcohol. Eat well. Lift weights. Walk. Meditate. Read books. Focus on sleep. Become a better and healthier version of yourself
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 09:03 PM
4

Nice. You own have of a new property that she wants all to herself. You have leverage now
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 11:33 PM
11

It’s over dude. You were her plan b. Focus on being a good father and be present and consistent in their lives. Your time with them will be more meaningful than before.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 03:48 PM
4

She will not listen to you. You’re not gonna tell her what to do. Nobody likes to be told what to do especially by an ex spouse. Focus on yourself
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 05:56 PM
3

Sounds like you have contempt each other. Marriages cannot succeed with contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 03:18 PM
14

That’s because people don’t live where Bears do
/r/MensRights22/05/24 07:09 PM
1

You’re not responsible for her “happiness.” She’s just bored and wants a little fun. Too bad she couldn’t include you in on the fun she’s having. Trust me. Give her the bare minimum. Five years from now, you’ll be thinking differently than you do now. Time for her to get a job and support herself
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 05:17 PM
1

In all seriousness - that settlement is reasonable. But she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 10:01 PM
15

She’s “threatening?” Hahaha - why the fuck are you getting legal advice from your STBW? She can go kick rocks. She’s probably going get nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 07:25 PM
3

Good for you. In all seriousness- she didn’t see this coming? Her lawyer should have told her this was possible if not probable and pushed for a reasonable settlement. Or is she just that dumb?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 07:23 PM
2

Equity means that 50% of population is female. Every special forces unit should have an all female counterpart. 50% females in the Rangers would be fantastic. They should even have their own all female units too. Now, I’d love to see female recruiters convincing women how awesome Ranger school is.
/r/MensRights20/05/24 07:16 PM
2

It’s hard. I get it. But ignore her and her stupid posts. Don’t give her the gratification of a response. That what she wants. She wants a response from you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 05:12 PM
57

Age doesn’t matter. She’s a teacher and that creates coercion. She deserves jail.
/r/MensRights20/05/24 05:10 PM
1

“Thank you for your concern. Things didn’t work out the way we planned. We hope you can respect our privacy during these difficult times.” Take the high road. Your actions speak volumes. Words and stupid Facebook posts are meaningless and will paint her in a bad light, not you
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 05:08 PM
42

Yep. In real numbers it’s 4,000 to 5,000 deaths/yr for men. And 300 to 400 deaths/year for women
/r/MensRights19/05/24 02:25 PM
31

Teach her a lesson
/r/MensRights18/05/24 02:17 AM
14

Fuck that noise - stack cash
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:55 AM
79

The only person I’ve ever seen deny a patient an epidural is a woman. Sometimes when a teenager is pregnant and in labor the patient’s mom will refuse to allow the patient to have an epidural. And yes this is legal because the patient is a minor and requires parental consent for epidural. Source - I’m a obgyn
/r/MensRights18/05/24 12:36 AM
4

Don’t have diarrhea of the mouth. Yes, no, I don’t know, it depends, can you please repeat the question, I’m not sure what you’re asking, would this be a good time to take a break (every 50 minutes) You’ll never win a case during deposition, but you sure can lose it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 03:33 PM
0

This is correct. You do not get to be the gatekeeper of the truth. The other spouse has a right to know what is happening in his life. What she does with the information is up to her. But, you don’t have to disclose until your business is done.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 02:36 PM
2

The answer is it depends. Some courts will consider any appreciation of the initial money to be a marital asset. Therefore, you would only be able to keep 100% of the initial account balance at the time of marriage in any growth would be split 50%. So any growth from marriage on including contributions is split 50-50. Using your example $10,000-$400=$9600. She would get $4,800 and you would get $5,200.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:13 PM
10

It’s a generic release and includes social media. You’re not the only parent that would be upset. This is taken care of at the beginning of the school year. There’s an annoying stack (or online) stuff that gets signed at the beginning of the school year. I’m willing to bet that this is one of those forms that you (or the children’s mother) signed. As the residential parent for my children, I know for certain this form was included.
/r/MensRights16/05/24 02:10 PM
25

I am willing to bet that the school previously had a signed release for children in pictures and videos. I know for 100% certainty that my children’s school does.
/r/MensRights16/05/24 01:57 PM
7

Kids need stable, consistent and present parents. Your obligation to your children is to be that. You have no additional obligation to your exwife other than what the court decides. Morally, everything should be 50/50 - assets and debts and parenting time. You should make sure that legally- 50/50 happens. The rest is up to you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 01:53 PM
3

Takes 2 to get married and 1 to divorce. Good for you. I hope all goes well.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 12:21 AM
2

Great for you! How much was your spousal support?My ex wife will never cohabitate or remarry. She knows where her bread is buttered. I only have four more years of support and I can’t wait.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 11:35 PM
1

School age children? If so, it may be difficult to move unless she agrees to it. Not impossible, just difficult
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 03:54 AM
1

Post your assets, debts and incomes. I suspect she’s going to get a rude awakening
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 05:47 AM
6

Because they are her family and blood is thicker than water. You will learn this lesson very quickly. You will find that you have very few friends. your only friend will be a therapist. This is the only person you unload this crap on. Everybody else when they ask what happened you tell them “things didn’t work out the way we planned. I just want what’s best for my kids. I hope you can respect our privacy during this very difficult time.” Don’t say a word to anyone about this. Here’s a lesson you…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 05:34 PM
6

In theory, yes. However, the source of the funds can be traced. So how is this person going to fund those accounts? If we’re talking about significant assets, then a forensic accountant would be able to identify the source of the funding for those accounts. Generally courts don’t treat kindly to parties hiding assets in a divorce
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 06:47 PM
2

Don’t do that. No problem ever solves itself. You need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 03:41 AM
2

Yeah. Just men for the most part. I’m sure some women read but very very few post.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 01:16 AM
2

I don’t think you have to be apart a year to file in Ohio
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 06:51 PM
2

$60,000 over 5 years when he’s made $500,000+ during the same time period. I’d take that in a heartbeat
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 11:36 PM
1

I’m taking it that your marital separation agreement and child support agreement are silent on this issue?
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 06:29 PM
18

She’s living with in your head rent free. She’s gonna laugh at you
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 12:32 PM
1

If you have a low asset, short duration marriage, then you should really be able to work it out amongst yourselves for the most part. And just have a lawyer draft the papers that are required. If you have a long duration, marriage and significant assets and businesses and what not then you’ll both need lawyers and it’s gonna be very adversarial. And others have said the judges a total wildcard. You never know what they’re going to do. It’s seldom just 50-50. Because the simple 50-50 stuff is alr…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 06:57 PM
1

I don’t think you’re understanding the risk of alimony without a clause adjustment of your income. I’m a surgeon who’s currently laid up after having a nerve surgery on my arm. What happens if this goes sideways and I can’t practice anymore? Without a clause for adjustment of my alimony, I would quickly be broke. Injury, disability, sickness, all happen. You need to plan for it. Otherwise you’re on the hook paying for, her when you can’t even pay for yourself Also, I think you’re greatly underes…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 03:15 PM
10

She’s trying to FIRE and you’re funding it. Use the state CS calculator for CS. And will go down as kids age out Duration of alimony? Generally 1 year for every 3 years of marriage. So 4 years in your case. She better be getting a job What are your family expenses like? $2000 k a week? That’s a lot of money with no monthly debt support. Especially if you’re paying half of the kids expenses. Who’s paying for cars, car insurance and repairs for the kids. Who pays for college? Who pays for dance, b…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 11:05 AM
2

And spend four hours talking about nothing. I play golf with a group of 16 guys every Friday and Sunday. One of the guys is a ex major league pitcher. If you traveled around the course with us and overheard our conversations, you wouldn’t even know that he was a professional athlete. Baseball hardly ever gets mentioned other than somebody’s stupid parlay
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 05:27 PM
10

If you do a legal separation in most states. You’re still accruing time in the alimony calculation when you eventually divorce. There’s absolutely no benefit to legal separation. You’re still gonna have to support her. And at any point in time, she can still file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 02:25 PM
1

Re-marriage doesn’t affect CS Her income does unless she modified her income down. So, in your case. She should be imputed on her historical income. So, begs the question- why seek a modification? She’s decreased her income from prior calculations
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 12:06 PM
1

529 is an account for the child. Health insurance. Medical bills. Broken bones. Surgeries. Car. Gasoline. Car insurance. Tires. Oil changes. Repairs. Clothes. Shoes. Hair. Sports. Sports equipment. Dance. Horseback riding. Cell phones. Computers. Prom. Dresses. Vacation that your kid goes on with others. Skiing. Golf. Tennis. Shall I go on? Not much “left over” especially if you’ve saved for college. If you’ve really taken care of your child - there’s not enough money.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 04:50 PM
4

Raising kids is expense. That money should be added to your household budget. If you have excess money pay down any debts you have - car notes or CC. Then you’ll need a 6 month emergency fund. Then you’ll pay extra on your mortgage and invest max amounts in Roth IRA and 401k and then save money for college (529 plans). It goes fast.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 03:29 PM
1

Rule of thumb. Your housing expenses (rent or mortgage) should not exceed 25% of your monthly income So in your case $2100/mo should be your max housing expense
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 03:31 AM
2

In general - pre-retirement balance is not a marital asset. Any contributions and their growth after marriage are.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 10:19 PM
20

The US should absolutely Selective Service registration for women. They have a lot to offer our military. I love when people point to European countries as a model for the US to follow when it comes to taxation. But, ignore them when discussing: Conscription into the military Birth right citizenship. Citizenship is currently offered to all children who are born in 39 countries (with the exception of children of diplomats), most of which are in the Western Hemisphere. No country in Western Europe…
/r/MensRights27/04/24 02:38 PM
9

In both cases - the person pushing for the mutilation of their children is the mother.
/r/MensRights26/04/24 03:17 AM
3

That’s entirely up to you. If you want to pay for your kids college, you’re more than welcome to. If you don’t wanna pay for your kids college, you’re more than welcome not to. The same goes if you and your wife were married. There’s no legal expectation that you pay for your children’s college. Those are all personal decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 07:55 PM
1

Don’t do it. She could get remarried. You could die. She could die. You could get disabled and really need the money. I don’t think any potential discount is worth the risk of the unknown.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 01:14 PM
3

Loose lips sink ships
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 10:08 PM
4

This is Reddit. You’re allowed to swear
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 08:58 AM
7

I raised my kids. They chose to live with me. My EW makes more than you sitting at home doing nothing. All told / she’ll have received a few million. I raised 3 boys on my own and cover 100% of their needs while she cries poor. Best money I’ve ever spend. Now go away
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 04:18 PM
1

I so want to believe this is true. I need to believe this is true!
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 12:59 PM
13

5 year marriage and no kids? What’s to argue about? This is easy peasy lemon squeezey
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 04:18 AM
3

It wasn’t the first time she’s thought about it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 02:12 AM
19

Dude. You’re a dumpster fire. If you want to stay married, here’s what you do : cut all ties with your fair partner. Even if that means getting a new job. This is nonnegotiable. Move out of your bedroom to the basement or a spare bedroom for at least six months. You were only to speak to your wife about the children were scheduling. Not about your marriage or relationship. Get counseling and go weekly. This is the person that you dump all of this stuff on. Not your friends not your parents not y…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:41 AM
4

Yep. It’s awful. So much catecholamines running around. Focus on protein and lifting. It’s called the divorce diet and it’s a thing
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 02:04 PM
4

6 years? She can go kick rocks. Inheritance? She co-mingled and turned it into a community property. Too bad so sad for her. She better be polishing up that resume. You’ll be paying child support but fight hard for 50/50 custody. Dads are equally important as moms
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 03:08 AM
7

I’d bet a paycheck that she wasn’t “advised” by a lawyer- but by some dumb friend expect her to keep getting dumb advice And tell her since she thinks that’s true - that you’ll pay her $30,000 for the house. See how that goes.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 05:25 PM
9

Nobody cares about your problems and half the people are glad you have them. Get a therapist. That’s who you unload all of this shit on. Tell your friends - things didn’t work out the way I hoped - I appreciate your concern and thank you for respecting out privacy during this difficult time
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 07:20 PM
2

Happiness comes from within.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 03:51 AM
5

You’re a good example for your children. Kids need that. What I wouldn’t have given to hear my ex say those words to me. You handled it all so well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 10:14 PM
4

Hahaha. That’s funny. I listen too but have never heard that. But TBH - I’m more the Lithium type
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 01:02 AM
10

It’s all fake. Just to piss you off. Learn to gray rock that bitch. I wouldn’t say one single word to her that isn’t about your child
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:59 AM
2

My kids call the channel “Turbo” on Sirius XM - divorced dad rock
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:51 AM
1

How much do you make? What about alimony? So you’re thinking about liquidating your retirement to “buy her out” of the house if you keep it? Can you afford to keep the house and still save/replenish your retirement? I’d look hard at selling. It’s scary because you don’t know the future, but it may be the better financial decision
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 07:53 PM
6

The is why “separation” is dumb. Just get divorced
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:03 AM
2

Be adults and come up with a mutually agreeable plan and stick to it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 01:41 AM
1

What about Thanksgiving, X-mas, New Year’s, Memorial Day, Labor Day. I suspect if Easter wasn’t addressed that your lawyers failed you guys. I see problems in the future
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 12:50 AM
1

Holidays should be spelled out in the parenting plan.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 10:42 PM
1

Was her dissipation of martial assets ever addressed? And if not - why not?
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 02:21 AM
9

These trifling women. I would not have agreed to her moving without court approval. You need 50/50 custody. Live where ever the fuck you want. And trust me - she ain’t moving again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 10:16 PM
8

What ever she wants from you - she already has. She has $16,000 of your money. I would politely remind her of that and remind her that every single fucking time she mention money that she stole $16,000 of your money. Paint that bitch a thief. Fuck that bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 09:35 PM
2

What type of physician? ER? Anesthesia?
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 04:52 PM
6

You’ll be fine. She’s going to have to name some names and get some DNA to get some CS. You at least get some LOL at the list of “maybe baby daddies” that she’s got to try to piece together
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 11:48 AM
1

Each of you have a $250,000 position in the house. If she disagrees, then tell her you want the house and you will pay her the $75,000 that by her math she thinks you are owed. Simple, she’s wrong. Not that that’s said, whoever wants the house she has to figure an away to give the other $250,000. Most people will refi and take a new mortgage with the higher loan balance or trade some other marital asset. She’s not going to qualify for a$550,000 mortgage with no job. Is there a large balance in a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 12:54 AM
1

You each have $250,000 coming from the house. If she doesn’t agree, then tell her you’ll buy her out with a check tomorrow for the $75,000 you would owe her using her math. She’ll get the point then. The rest of the marital assets get divided up by 2. She would need to take a cash out refi to pay you the $150,000 she owes and would need to borrow $450,000 with her only income being alimony. It’s not going to happen. She’s probably not going to be able to keep the house. So, sell the house. Each …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:42 PM
1

How long was the marriage? Does she have any income potential?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 01:03 PM
8

Quit thinking about her ex-wife
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 08:50 PM
4

Hire a lawyer. If you think you can’t afford a lawyer- wait until you get fucked over for the next 18’years. That’s expensive AF. You need money. Go find a second and 3rd and fourth job. You’ll need the money You fight for 50/50. Don’t accept anything less. You’re as much a parent as the mother. All assets and debts get divided 50/50. You should not be paying child support. She should be paying you. You should not be paying alimony. If anyone is paying - she is paying you. In general - alimony d…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 08:45 PM
2

Omg. So much wrong here. Can somebody please help this dude? He’s got so much bad information here I can’t even
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 07:47 PM
2

Sum ting wong
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 07:46 PM
1

This is why legal separation is a dumb idea. She’s going to push (and win) that it will occur at todays value
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 04:36 PM
5

As a physician and parent- yes. Unless your child has a chronic condition- like asthma or some genetic disorder.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 04:16 AM
18

Happiness comes from within. You are not responsible for her “happiness,” she is. Let her go. Focus on your mental and physical health. Focus on being a parent to your children- they are going to need it. Girls gone wild phase coming up next for her
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 12:31 PM
27

She’s already shown you who she is Believe her
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 01:26 AM
16

Go faster. She’s in the affair fog and wants this marriage over so she can go live her best life Let her. Focus on you mental and physical health and parenting your kids. I filed 5 years ago and was 24 years into a marriage with an 18’year old and 15 year old twins. So, I know where you’re at. Fuck that bitch and just incase you don’t know - they’ve been fucking for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 08:43 PM
2

Yes. That’s what’s expected.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 03:46 PM
1

It’s not “her” debt unless she came into the marriage with it. If it was accumulated during the marriage it’s “our” debt. Not saying it’s right. Just saying that’s the way it is
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 08:42 PM
5

QDRO. No penalty. No taxes. There may be a fee paid to the retirement plan administrator Edit - oh wait - you want to cash out the 401 after to pay off some stuff? Don’t do it. Just figure out another way. You will owe the taxes (it’s income to you) and will owe a 10% penalty unless you qualify for an exemption
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 07:44 PM
5

The increase in your homes value is a marital asset. Everything accumulated in the marriage is a marital assets. So - it all goes into a big pile and gets divided. You (we) have $30k in cash and $30k in debt. So that’s taken care of. The house increased in value $160k. If you want to stay - she needs $80k from you. You can remortgage or pay from somewhere else - say your 401k Sorry bro it sucks but this is the way it’s going to go down.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 07:18 PM
3

Jesus. So much dumb here! Gentlemen. Don’t do this. Don’t pay her mortgage. Don’t keep her on your health insurance. Might as well stay married.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 07:13 PM
3

It’s a negotiation. It’s whatever the two of you agree to. Also, are you certain that your mortgage is assumable?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 02:53 AM
2

Hilariously blunt but all true I’m stealing some of it
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 03:04 PM
13

Reverse it. Would she give to you what she is asking from you?? There’s your answer
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 07:33 PM
1

Time. It just takes time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 06:08 AM
9

Hahhahahahah. Don’t even respond. Or respond “new phone - who dis”
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:11 AM
7

Sometimes you can loose a battle to win the war. Pick your battles
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:56 AM
5

Best advice for the kids - be present. Present for all of their activities. Present for all of their events. Present for all of their troubles. Be constant and reliable. Be the father we all wish we had.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 05:40 PM
13

Words are meaningless. What as a person does is what counts. No need to rush anything. I would suggest halting legal proceedings and live a separate life for now and learn to live alone and work on yourself. Learn to co-parent. Give it a year - and then decide.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 01:30 PM
4

Figure the equity in each car. There’s your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 05:51 AM
2

Sure they do, the little phrase is -“in my judgement.” That’s the justification
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 01:32 PM
3

I believe this is a common experience. You are generally trusting your entire future on the wisdom of a total stranger - in many cases a single 20 something with no kids and no understanding of the world. Unless your ex wife is completely unreasonable- I would not recommend a GAL
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 01:32 PM
23

Show me a man/woman and I’ll show you someone that is tired of fucking them -unknown
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 10:11 PM
4

Tackle the debt smallest to largest. It’s called the debt snowball. Has more success than paying the highest interest first because you get quick wins early and that keeps you motivated
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 09:25 PM
8

It’s going to be a long long long co-parenting journey if you two can’t share some common decency. If she wants to be the asshole you can’t stop her. Doesn’t mean you have to be one too.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 12:55 PM
3

You pay her with retirement money. You’re not house poor with your income. It’s less than 25% of your monthly income which is very reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 12:02 PM
3

This dude is a troll or deserves everything he’s got coming. He owes >$1MM in back taxes. He has the assets that if all liquidated would cover said tax bill. But he hasn’t done a single thing except guess about what his alimony is going to be. Here’s what he needs to do and some observations Sell everything His monthly take home is $18,000 He keeps saying “she wants this and she wants that” we keep telling him it doesn’t matter what she wants. But all he says is what she wants. Who cares. His sp…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 03:55 PM
1

You cannot dodge alimony. Well you ‘can’ but it will end very badly for you. Judges really do not take kindly to people not doing what they agreed to do in a court proceeding
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 03:47 PM
1

And his medical license
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 03:44 PM
1

Because he owes >$1M in taxes. And he’s stubborn AF
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 03:44 PM
3

She’s a horrible human. She can eat a sac of dicks
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:23 AM
2

Clothes. You buy the clothes for your house. She buys the clothes for her house. Extracurricular activity: 50/50. It’s not all on you unless your parenting plan states that
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:06 AM
7

Please. I get it. I’ve been there. It’s so dark that you can’t see the light. I promise you - there is light. Call someone that you trust and talk with them. People absolutely love you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:45 AM
1

These “mothers” are amazing. I’ve been divorced now 5+ years. My EW gets a nice alimony check every month. She has yet to take my kids on a single trip. I take them every winter on a weeklong ski trip to Vail, Aspen, Telluride, Jackson Hole and even Whistler. Plus every summer we go to Hilton Head and play golf and beach for a week. My boys have played several PGA events courses. But, she goes somewhere every other month.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 08:24 PM
7

You’re in Canada so I’m really ignorant as to divorce proceedings there You can always make more money. When you don’t have your kids, I would work like a maniac. Picking up overtime side jobs you name it everything possible to reestablish a nest egg. You have a limited amount of time with your children. Cherish it and get as much as you can. Once they become college age - hopefully they have the skills to lead independent lives. I would fight like hell for 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:53 AM
4

A seven month marriage? You each walk away and get nothing from each other. Don’t give her a dime she doesn’t deserve it morally and she’s not entitled to it legally.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:44 AM
2

Also, important is who the decision-maker is on the extracurriculars. Generally makes sense for 50-50 if you’re both in agreement. If you’re not in complete agreement, then the person who wants it done should pay 100%. There’s going to come a time when these extracurriculars are going to impinge on your parenting time. Especially annoying if it’s an activity that you don’t necessarily support , the kid doesn’t like and the mom is basically making them do.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:42 AM
15

It’s over. There’s no answer. There’s no remorse. There’s no meaning. There’s nothing. It’s just over. You job is to accept the above and build a new life that doesn’t include her. That’s just the way it is. You’ll know you’re better when you feel nothing pertaining to her. Only peace.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 01:30 AM
4

Stop communicating with her. Nothing good is going to come from it. In her narrative you’re going to be the next sexual assault perpetrator
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:28 PM
14

I like getting my dick wet
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 08:19 PM
1

The implications are, he won’t be able to see your children. If you’re OK with that no big deal. If you’re not OK, with that thing you’re going to have to come to an agreement with her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 08:11 PM
9

Sounds like you agree with her in concept. You have to ask yourself is this a Hill worth dying on?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 06:30 PM
2

How much money are we talking about? What is your annual income? What is your net worth? We are talking about hundred of thousands of dollars or even millions – and you want to go pro se? Sounds like a really bad idea.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 12:03 PM
14

So she left. You have the kid. You pay her nothing. She comes around occasionally. What’s the problem? She says dumb shit? Who cares what she says? This is a win. Move on and be a great father to your child
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:05 PM
6

It’s your house. Go home. You can’t be kicked out of your marital home.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:26 PM
1

That assumes no money is spent along the way. If you’re spending 7,000/mo and earning 7.5% interest- the money lasts 10 years - and assumes no sequence of returns problems
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:36 PM
5

I would not do a lump sum. Too much can happen along the way. If you get disabled the payments can be reduced. If you die, the payments stop. If she marries or cohabitates, the payments stop. If she dies, the payments stop. Too many things can happen that cause the payments to stop. So, unless you’re getting a big discount- I would prefer to pay monthly and not in a lump sum.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:08 AM
1

Any asset or debts acquired during the marriage are community property. There’s no “mine, yours, his hers” – it’s all “ours.” The source of the debt is not regarded either. Officially a marriage is considered one legal entity. No if you came into the marriage with premarital assets are premarital that, especially if they’re numerator on a prenuptial agreement, the court may take those into consideration. If you want a better answer, why don’t you go ahead and list all of the assets that’s acquir…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 07:49 PM
6

Go on seeking.com. Find someone to accompany you. You never know 🤪
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:53 PM
3

Let it the fuck go. She’s not your concern anymore
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:08 AM
4

Here’s the real bullshit part. In my state - you get your expert and she gets her expert. The judge has to pick one. The judge cannot make a judgement and say “split the difference”. It’s one or the other. Pay whatever it takes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:55 PM
4

You need a lot of skills. You should be present, positive and consistent in your kids lives. Never speak badly (or speak at all) about their mother. Never. Please stop communicating with her about anything that isn’t directly about the kids. If she blocked you then that’s a problem for her. Your parenting time should be stipulated in your parenting plan. Follow it. The correct reason for “cutting her off” is not because she upset you. The correct reason is because it’s not your duty to give her …
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 04:39 AM
1

You continue to accrue years of marriage to calculate the inevitable divorce and alimony. Just rip the bandaid off. It’s to her advantage
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 04:22 AM
1

Maybe. Post your financials. Income, debts, assets and you could get some better suggestions.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:49 PM
2

Let’s do a thought experiment. Reverse the genders, put numbers to your incomes, include your financials (assets and debts) and post over in r/divorce. There’s your answer. Your gender shouldn’t matter. No Yes - but you should contact an attorney now. It’s based on incomes, not money spent. Post your assets, debts and incomes and we can give you a better idea about what you’ve got coming
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 05:14 PM
17

The old ILYBNILWY means one of two things: she found new dick or she’s been checked out for years and is done with you and your shit. If you’re not an asshole, then it’s the first.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 05:04 AM
9

Here’s the way I look at it. Imagine you own a business with a partner. The two of you built a successful company for 20 years. And now you’ve decided to part ways. But your partner is upset and thinks he’s going to get screwed. This separation will require a valuation of the company and assessment of future earnings. It will require the transfer of large sums of hard earned money. Would you do this without the guidance of a lawyer? I wouldn’t. This is what a divorce is.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 01:45 AM
8

Then she’s dumb. Sell it whenever you damn well please.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 06:21 AM
4

That’s a classic “trickle truth, and I know it gets overused, an example of gaslighting. Telling lies and then make you feel crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 02:49 AM
10

Deny, deny and deny That’s how. Humans can rationalize homicide. We can rationalize anything and make it the other person’s fault.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 01:55 AM
9

Because I like getting my dick wet
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 01:50 AM
2

I moved pics to a Dropbox.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:37 PM
9

If the business is a looser - you don’t have to take half of it. In fact, I would tell her it’s all hers. She can have everything. Otherwise you can get divorced and you can continue to be a half owner of her business. I don’t think she’s going to want that. That’s your leverage.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 06:59 PM
7

Legally - no Morally - yes
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 02:51 AM
5

Here’s the answer you need. You are absolutely fucking broke. You have said in other posts that you owe $1.3MM in taxes. You own (but haven’t disclosed) your total assets. You should sell everything to satisfy your IRS bill. You’re still married and this needs cleaned up before the marriage is ended. Learn about the alimony laws in FL. You have an attorney. Your lawyer should have already educated you on the FL laws. Alimony is very much local jurisdiction specific, it may even vary from county …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:33 PM
1

You guys are fucking BROKE. You owe the IRS $1.3M and according to you your gross income is $300k. You’re broke. She’s broke. You’re all broke. Sell everything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:16 PM
0

Again - this is where you’re WRONG. There’s no her money and my money in a marriage. It’s all OUR money. Please understand this concept. And she shares in the $1.3MM tax bill that is coming your way
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:13 PM
0

Well. It’s sounds like you really need a better accountant. Some of that tax bill is hers. Alimony isn’t your problem. The IRS is your problem. And staying out of jail. Your business is worth nothing. Sell everything. Find a better accountant. If that numbers correct - you haven’t paid taxes is a while. Hopefully you weren’t doing dumb like collecting payroll taxes and then not making the deposits. If so - jail is a possibility. Your wife benefited from not paying taxes too. A portion of that is…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:16 AM
6

Dude. You are really really stubborn. You’re still married. That’s both of yours money. Pay your fucking taxes with marital assets. Your business is worth zero. Don’t believe me? Then sell it. See what you get. I guarantee it’s nothing. Source - I’m a physician too. You are the business. And your patients are loyal to you not the address. The second you leave - your business is worthless. And most states you get 1 year of alimony for every 3 years of marriage. I don’t know about FL.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:41 AM
5

WE HAVE $317k IN THE BANK.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 10:53 PM
17

Why do you care what she does or doesn’t do? Stop communicating with her. The only contact you should have with her is through text. And it’s only about the kids. She’s not your friend. You shouldn’t know a damn about her life. Just what time she’s picking up or dropping the kids off Set a boundary- when you text anything that isn’t about the kids - it will be left on read. “If you try to speak to me about anything that isn’t the kids - I will turn and walk away” This “kids sleep in their own be…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 06:14 PM
9

What does it matter? The marriage is over. Forget about her. You’re trying to win a stupid argument about who left who. Stop communicating with her. Your kids are teens - you really don’t have much to communicate about. Move on- don’t let her live in your head rent free.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:13 PM
0

You let her in the house?! Fuck that noise!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 08:30 PM
6

Need more information. Ages, kids, financial situation, cheating, ect
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:19 PM
2

How much do “you and her” owe the IRS? From where I sit- it’s both y’all’s debt. So, whatever it is - it should be paid tomorrow with marital assets. That cash that both of you have is a good place to start. Step 1. List debts. Step 2. List assets. Step 3. Play debts with non- retirement cash Step 4. Divide the rest by 2 Show us that math and we’ll comment more b
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 01:03 PM
3

Good job. Don’t have to win every battle to win the war. Play the long game. Give little wins and you won the war!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 07:38 PM
16

Well the good news is - you won’t be paying CS or SS. And it’s “our money”. Find out where “hers” is because is half yours
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:42 PM
3

You’ve heard the song a million times. Know most of the lyrics. But what you didn’t know is that Kurt is describing is a rape. polly wants a cracker lyrics https://g.co/kgs/EWvJ3PH Now “Rape Me” is interpreted as anti-rape song and I believe as a statement against the music industry’s exploitation of talent. He was told not to play it on the 1992 MTV Music awards and play Lithium instead. He plays a snippet of the song and then cuts into Lithium like nothing happened. These are both songs that w…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:25 PM
7

Yeah - you get to have her served at work - in front of her dumb affair partner
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:11 PM
5

I can’t name a single TS song. I wouldn’t know her if she stood in front of me. Kurt Cobain and Courtney on the other hand. Wanna know about “Polly” 🤔
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:08 PM
1

That’s your answer
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:26 AM
2

There 3 sides to every story. Yours, his and the truth. I’m sure his story is a little different than yours.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:15 AM
1

1000% agree Some of you people make me laugh. You’ll divorce a spouse but you’ll stay with the stupid mortgage. The stupid mortgage interest rate is more important than than a marriage. It’s a short marriage two years. Divorce and divide everything by 50% and move the fuck on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:59 PM
1

You can do what ever you want. The question is - is she going to agree to it? So, if you think that a court is going to give you some consideration for “her debt” that “you paid off” during the marriage, you may be misguided. The court will say “we paid off debt during our marriage”. That being said- yeah go for it and see what she says. It’s all a negotiation. So I wouldn’t start at 50/50 if you don’t have too. But understand- she may lawyer up and blow the whole thing up. But in all honesty- i…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 04:42 PM
1

And when she fully grass how child support payments are tied to amount of custody, she will be fighting for full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 01:06 AM
4

Same. It’s a hard row. Time and a year of counseling helped me too.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 03:03 PM
8

Our communications are only about our kids and schedules. That’s it. Oh and her alimony check which she usually wants a day early 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 03:02 PM
2

Barrister - ahh you’re British - no idea mate
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 02:09 AM
1

Wait. Details matter. A 3 year marriage? Don’t give her a single thing!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 01:10 AM
4

End all financial entanglements. It’s not even a question.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 07:38 AM
4

Ummm. Is there a question here?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 11:46 AM
5

So she’s allowed to look out for her best interests- and you aren’t?? Gotcha - answer her with silence. You owe her nothing
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 01:14 AM
4

Has to be “fair and equitable”. No judge will sign off on anything that does not give a reasonable distribution of assets accumulated during a marriage. I’m a very high income earner, and my ex-wife was a stay at home mom. There’s not a judge in the planet that’s not gonna give her a good chunk of the business and assets that I created over the 25 years of our marriage. no matter what the prenuptial agreement says.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 07:33 PM
4

Prenup wouldn’t have mattered. Assets were made during the marriage. Only protects premarital money
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 12:41 PM
1

They are if you divorced prior to Jan 1, 2018🫠 Mine was finalized Oct 2017. My wife couldn’t understand why I was “so rushed to get divorced” She knows now 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 11:27 PM
10

Here’s what I did (I may have forgotten something) Spousal support ends if any of the following occur: Remarriage Co-habitation (this is state and sometimes local jurisdiction dependent) The payee being deemed permanently disabled and unable to work A reduction in income below $XX. the number we used was 50% of my average income. Death of either party. Depending on your age and duration of support-retirement. You should have equalized retirement accounts. And do not pay her in a lump sum unless …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 09:45 PM
4

And she continues to accrue time for alimony. Maybe even into permanent alimony territory.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 03:38 PM
15

Quit drinking. Nothing good comes for it. You’re self medicating. You need A LOT of counseling and a psychiatrist Quit social medial Quit dating sites. They are a cesspool Get your financial shit together Learn to be a parent, read about boundaries. Forgive yourself. We are all worthy of love and that begins with forgiveness
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 04:23 PM
18

Get off social media. Nothing good comes from it And yes - I get the irony 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 04:04 AM
9

There are 2 things. Only 2 things in this world that you can control - your thoughts and your actions What she does or doesn’t do is of absolutely no concern to you anymore. What she does or doesn’t do during her parenting time is of no concern unless the kids are being harmed. Likewise, what you do or don’t do is not of her concern. Time for you to learn to let some shit go. You’re going to loose some battles (some on purpose) because the goal is to win the war.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 03:36 AM
3

Kids. Accounts are in EW name. But I do the hands on work. She gets the statement. And I have electronic access. Hasn’t been a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:56 PM
4

Go to the legal advice subs
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:28 PM
7

The investigation was the court hearing that you didn’t attend. The tells the court that you cannot dispute the TRO.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:06 PM
8

SHE.IS.NOT.YOUR.FRIEND!!! She filed a restraining order against you. What more do you need to know to understand that. She literally wants the police to arrest you every time you’re within 100 feet of her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:05 PM
9

Time for a mindset change. The correct pronoun is “We”. We had credit card debt. We had a bank account. There’s no “yours and mine” prior to the date of separation. It’s all marital property. My EW was a SAHM and she left the marriage a multi-millionaire. Didn’t earn a single penny of it. Held of everything was hers. Since no one has filed and she has a restraining order against you, the courts MAY use that as a day of separation. But this question should be answered by your attorney. Otherwise …
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:02 PM
6

She doesn’t owe you a penny from prior to being served divorce papers
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 08:42 PM
3

The only thing you can control are your thoughts and your actions. It’s not easy. But you’ll learn to not give a fuck
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 01:15 AM
6

Anything she does or doesn’t do - gets absolutely no reaction She does that she to get you upset. Don’t be a fool and act the way she wants you to act. Do the opposite. Do nothing. Eventually she’ll learn she can’t bother you anymore and will leave you alone
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 01:12 AM
2

You guys are WAAAAAAAAY over complicating this. No court gives a fuck about who spent what when. I had an 911, M3 and M5 during our marriage. Should my EW get more alimony because I had nice cars??? Nope. The house value is what it is. It’s a number. Pay an appraisal $500 and agree to the value. Divide by 2 and go from there. You guys are what if this and what if that. Stop. Agree to a number and go from there. Also, your career could go to shit tomorrow. Nothing is guaranteed. Also, put a disab…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 10:56 AM
9

About the same. Worth every penny
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:06 AM
10

None of the past matters. Marital assets and debts at the time of divorce should be divided by 2.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 01:29 AM
3

Have you retained an attorney yet? It’s been 2 months of us telling you to get an attorney. You have a complex case. You need effective counsel
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:08 PM
9

She’s probably just using top line revenue on your businesses as income. She obviously failed accounting 101
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 08:19 PM
4

Exactly. This isn’t hard. Submit the last 3 years tax returns. She can go kick rocks
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 06:55 PM
18

I hope you get the picture. Don’t move out. She can move out. Not you. She’s more than welcome to move to a spare bedroom or the basement. But don’t you dare leave that house. Now - don’t fucking speak to her either about anything except the kids and their schedules. Not a single fucking word about divorce. Not a word Do not under any circumstances engage in any discussion or argument about anything. Especially your relationship. It’s over Johnny. Start the process of separating financially. Ope…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 06:52 PM
1

I have the complete Nirvana box set. The only thing I listen to
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 12:57 PM
4

Bro. It ain’t happening. Getting rid of your wife means getting rid of everything - mortgage included. Here’s what will need to happen. You’ll file a quit claim deed and she’s off the title of the house. She could (but if she has a brain she won’t) stay in the mortgage and you would keep paying as usual. But- she’s not going to (correctly) allow that to happen. So- you’ll have to refi the remaining balance. You’ll be getting a new mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 07:29 AM
7

“I’ll take things you should never do for a $1000, Alex”
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 12:21 AM
6

The only reasonable separation is you each take 50/50 of marital assets. You would be silly to give her a penny more. She’s probably not going to get spousal support or if she does it will be very short.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:33 PM
3

Haha. You beat me to it 😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:06 PM
13

Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend - Biz Markie
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:05 PM
5

Where is she getting $110,000 to “buy you out.” What’s the loan balance? She’s going to have to refi and qualify for the new mortgage on her own, unless you have an assumable mortgage - which are not common. If you’re both making $60k and 50/50 custody - there shouldn’t be any CS or spousal support. Sounds like you and her will be identical financially
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 12:22 AM
1

No hope. Time to work on an exit strategy. She has no interest in personal growth
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 09:26 PM
3

How motivated is she to divorce? If she’s motivated (in the affair fog) then you can get a lot from her. If she’s pissed and scorched earth - then RIP. Or if she’s sane and proud - she don’t need your money. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 06:17 PM
5

I was told by my attorney that it requires neither to have another residence. And for each to contribute to the household. So - living together and sharing expenses
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:19 PM
5

This is a boundary - "when you yell - I will end the conversation until tomorrow." "When you don't support a decision that I have made as a parent, I will xxxx" Gaslighting - I don't think she knows the meaning of the term. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality. For example - you know your wife was at point A for 2 hours (somewhere she shouldn't be - hotel) and you ask "Where have you been?" and the…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 04:41 AM
3

What specialty are you planning on?I’m an OB/GYN so I feel I could offer some insight
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 04:41 PM
2

You need an attorney. Half of the money in “her” account is yours. Please hire an attorney ASAP
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:26 PM
3

Once the petition is granted - it all becomes individual. Plus you should have physically separated your accounts by now and each taken your half
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 02:24 PM
1

“I concur” - Dr. Frank Conners
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 04:26 AM
12

Nope. Divorced for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 05:50 PM
4

She needs alcohol rehab or she needs to move in with a relative while you be the responsible parent
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 02:41 AM
1

Does change involve individual counseling for either of you? You can definitely put a hold on things for a while. Personally, I would suggest still physically separating. You may need to physically separate and learn about yourself as individuals before you do anything marriage wise. Reading, counseling, learning about communication, physical transformation, quitting vices - “I’m a don’t tell me - show me” kind of person.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 01:17 AM
2

The second she divorces - she’s filing for SS and can file under you using your credits. It doesn’t affect you - but she’ll get more $$$ filing under you than filing under hers
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 09:06 PM
11

OP. Listen to throwawayitiswhatitos3 STFU She’s your mortal enemy She’s ruined and ruining you financially. I’m an OBGYN and I teach residents about personal finance. Listen to your attorney Act like nothing is happening I’d bet $100,000 she’s got a long time BF. Don’t be surprised if she’s been in an affair for a really long time. And is now going to monkey branch to him Strap up butter cup. Shits going to get real
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:51 PM
17

Naw - I’m the Bank of America Dad. The Fix-it dad, the Mechanic Dad, the car dealer dad, the doctor/nurse dad. In other words- the guy that cares for and maintains everything that happens Dad. One thing I admire about British Slang is their gratuitous use of the word -cunt. I wish we had adopted that usage
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 01:55 PM
7

And the corollary - show me a woman and I’ll show you a man that’s tired of fucking her
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 01:16 AM
2

My separation agreement has “cohabitation or marriage.” Unless she’s a total ding dong - I’d bet she spoke with an attorney also. This are is very state and even local dependent. It all comes down to what the local judge will rule.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:35 PM
2

You know that client or customer that is never satisfied? They abuse your employees and still talk shit and give you bad reviews. We all have them. What do you do with them? I know what I do - we get rid of them and focus on our good clients. Same in a marriage. Just be done and move on. She’ll never be satisfied
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 02:37 PM
2

I uploaded to a Dropbox.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 11:58 PM
4

I paid $XM to never have to fuck her again. That’s my answer…let it sink in. That’s how bad I wanted out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:22 PM
1

Make sure your separation agreement spells this shit out. Generally (I’m an Ohio resident too) you are expected to pay CS and whatever medical is agreed to. Sometimes her insurance is better than yours. Generally healthcare is 50/50 and there’s an adjustment if you’re providing the coverage to the CS calculation. As far as day care goes. You’re going to have to learn about boundaries. That’s a “her” problem. Say you’re 80/20 and you get the child in the summer and you have her in daycare while s…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 04:12 AM
1

Also where are you in the divorce process?
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 08:36 PM
1

What did you move out of? You owned home. A rented home? An apt? Whose name is on the deed or lease? If your name is on any of them - you can still go in. If it’s a rental - I would suggest contacting the landlord and ask them to escort you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 08:35 PM
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