Hey guys - new guy here. So my wife and I have been married for 20 years. About a year and a half ago, we both basically decided we didn't want to do this anymore. All we do is argue. I always get the blame, etc. (cause she's never ever been wrong lol) We went to our first mediation meeting a few weeks ago. But since then, it basically made it even worse. We wanted to go thru mediation in order to avoid paying for lawyers, but we can't come to agreement on the most basic things. To sum up my situation - she has basically no income. She stayed home with the kids when they were young - but she could have easily started working at least10 years ago. She just doesn't want to. So I've always paid for anything and everything, and we've struggled because of the one person income. I told her I want to continue to live in the house and be the custodial parent for the kids. She has no way of paying the mortgage, and one of us needs to be in the same school district until they graduate. I said I would pay the mortgage and all bills, plus all expenses for the kids (two are teens, and two are over 18). She would just have to find her own place and support herself. Plus, I'd likely even have to pay her spousal support as well, which is ridiculous. Also, I'm not trying to keep her from seeing the kids. She'd be free to do that whenever and they can stay with her whenever once she has a place. So basically she would have to pay for absolutely nothing except supporting herself. So, she freaked out over this proposal and thinks it's completely unfair, and is threatening to call a lawyer (don't know how she plans on paying?).

So first question - does that sound like an unfair proposal? Cause I feel like I'm the one actually getting screwed because I'd still be paying for everything.

Second - if this ever went to court, wouldn't it be worse for her if the judge split things 50/50 or 60/40 because now she'd have to pay all these expenses for the kids, which she can't even do?

Oh, and her idea for our situation was to do "nesting" where we switch off which parent stays in the house, like every other week. In that case, she said I could stay with my mom while she's at the house. No way in hell I'm open to doing this. And she'd be living in the house half the time still without paying for a single thing? Nope. And I don't see that being beneficial to the family in any way.

I really don't know what the hell she's thinking. As far as I'm concerned she should not be allowed to live in the house unless she can pay the mortgage and bills.

So I'm open to opinions and advice. Basically, help! Cause I need to get something moving in this situation. I've been going thru this for almost 2 years and it's just getting worse. Hopefully you guys have some experience and can offer some good advice!

Thanks!