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ApprehensiveSpare925 Archive

View 15 posts and 213 comments by ApprehensiveSpare925 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I have 50/50. Mine are 10 and 12 though. I have Wednesday at 9 AM thru Friday at 9 AM. Every other week Wednesday at 9 AM thru Monday at 9 AM. Your 2 weeks on and 2 weeks seems a little unusual to me.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 12:34 PM
3

Not anymore, my divorce was final earlier this year.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 03:17 AM
2

It depends on the state. For example, in Missouri there would only be spousal support for her to get her “on her feet.” Missouri would expect her to get a job and support herself.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 04:04 PM
12

Glad you healed bro. You obviously will not take her back.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 01:15 AM
1

She had lies in her PDL filings. I had screenshots of text messages and emails proving those were lies. Judge never even asked about a single question about any of her claims. She just stated 50/50 custody awarded. Kids eventually figure out who their parents are.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 10:29 PM
1

In Missouri that’s not enough. My ex wife punched our son twice and threw his phone against the wall. She was also denying our daughter her eye surgery that doctor recommended. I had to have the GAL order her surgery. Both of these together were not enough to even go to court and ask for a change of custody (per my attorney).
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 03:28 PM
1

That sucks bro. Keep going. I got 50/50. In Missouri it’s pretty difficult to change that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 03:24 PM
5

Dude, I pay her every month. My ex wife is lying to our daughter to make me look bad. In divorce proceedings she went for 100% custody, parental alienation and high conflict divorce option.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 11:09 AM
0

Oh! I guess you are new to this sub and are not yet familiar with how bitter and vindictive women can be. Welcome. Yes, of course I pay it on time. My ex wife went for 100% custody, did parental alienation and chose the high conflict divorce option. My son has realized who she is, he figured it out on his own. My daughter is figuring it out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 11:06 AM
2

Why not have a body cam and record everything? Get a bunch of recordings and go to court. Might be able to have a change of custody? Maybe you could even get him charged with harassment (by police, not the court)?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 11:59 AM
3

💯 this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 11:45 AM
7

Go to trial. You will get 50/50 (roughly).
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:46 PM
9

😂 That’s how I would react. No way in hell.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:44 PM
1

Ask for her ex husbands number.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:46 PM
1

If you don’t have kids together, break it off completely. If you have kids together, keep it to text only. And only talk about the kids. And you don’t have to see her at drop off if you can coordinate it. I personally don’t care if I see my ex or not, she is an absolutely horrible person. However, she knows I know most of what she did so she tries to avoid me altogether. During the summer she drops our kids off at my place and leaves. Doesn’t see me at all.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 01:25 PM
1

Oh man. That sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:44 PM
13

Missouri is a 50/50 state but my ex wife went for 100% anyway. Court ordered a GAL. I got 50/50 but it cost me. Funny thing that I will probably end up with 100% custody. My ex is a narcissist and my son sees her now for who she is. He said he will move in with me full time when he can. So going back to court in a year or two.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 11:54 AM
15

Let me guess. She never told you until now what bothered her. She most likely found someone else she thinks she better. Look up monkey branching. She is just telling you that you are 100% at fault for the marriage failing. I am sure she claims she did nothing wrong. Women love to be held unless it’s accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 09:33 PM
3

Yep. She met someone else. 💯. He just hasn’t figured it out yet.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 09:29 PM
2

That is a great quote. I am borrowing it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:12 AM
17

Woman love to be held as long as it isn’t accountable. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 11:11 AM
6

I was going to say that’s women’s code she met someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 12:19 PM
2

Thanks! I did not know that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:31 PM
8

He isn’t saying that at all. He said he would pay the CS to his son instead of her. I plan to do the same for my kids. My son said he plans to go out of state for college. I am going to be paying for college tuition since I make way more than my ex. I am not going to pay her if he doesn’t live with her and I am paying tuition. I obviously will have to petition the court.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 11:25 AM
2

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:46 AM
3

Unfortunately she wasn’t the only one. A girlfriend I planned on marrying cheated on me as well.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 12:26 PM
3

I am pretty sure she didn’t cheat from when we married until she demanded an open marriage (I said no). So about 10 years. The reason I am pretty sure is I looked at her FB messenger (we shared a computer with no password. I only did this after she said she had friended the guy she danced with and was talking to him via messenger). She seemed to never close any FB messenger message. I had looked back and found no messages between guys until before we were married. During the time we were dating/…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 11:26 AM
3

And that was just the highlights! LOL. There was a lot more I didn’t even mention.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 12:19 AM
2

She didn’t know I found the evidence. When we were in mediation I confronted her. She didn’t even try to deny it. I caught her off guard because she didn’t know that I knew. Just keep going. It gets better. I promise.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 09:24 PM
2

I saw some highs and lows, that’s for sure. My therapist said bipolar explains her hyper sexuality. Before we married she told me she had been with 7 guys. Between our 9th and 10th year of marriage she told me the truth, it was over 100. And at least a few women. And she was 26 when I met her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 11:37 PM
6

My ex was secretly recording. I figured it out. I wasn’t doing anything wrong or worth playing to the court. Don’t be a dick and you will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 11:23 PM
3

“Happily” for 10 years. Total length of marriage is 15 years. Actually, I don’t have any anger or resentment. To do so requires energy and I am not going to waste energy on that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 10:52 AM
2

😂
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 10:50 AM
12

My ex wanted the moon as well. In the end she didn’t get any of it. Cost me 75k in attorneys fees though. And I would rather give it to my attorney than her anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 11:40 AM
8

They are not worth it either. My STBXW is originally from Ukraine. She wore a mask for 10 years. She visited a girlfriend in San Diego for a long weekend. She had sex with her. She also met a guy and danced with him. She said he turned her on. She told me when she got back “I want an open marriage. Wedding vows mean nothing. It’s my body and I will sleep with whoever I want whenever I want.” I didn’t agree and she cheated. Found out she had cheated on me with at least 4 guys while we were dating…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 10:59 AM
8

If your dead she wins. Do you really want that? Your kids would be crushed. They are more likely to commit suicide if you do. Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it just passes it to them. Do you really want that? You don’t want a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I was suicidal as well. Didn’t tell anyone. Had it planned out but had to wait for my suicide clause expired on my term policy. What changed my mind was my kids. They would have been crushed. I also found evidence my ex was trying t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 11:59 PM
10

Please reread his post. And chill out. Seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 10:39 PM
5

Yes, eventually. Judge to sign our divorce decree this week. Life is amazing!! You just gotta keep going.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 12:09 PM
9

She is showing you who she really is. My STBXW did the same.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 12:52 PM
4

Yep, same here. Most women are absolutely horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 01:59 AM
10

A woman never belongs to a man. It was just your turn. Your turn is over. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 09:43 PM
3

Same here.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 08:39 PM
3

I am with you bro. Three years in the divorce so far. Wiped out financially at 57. I have a negative net worth of 250k. Got a great relationship with my kids though. My son is 12 and he sees now who his mom really is. My daughter is 10 and hadn’t put it together yet. Life doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be amazing. Just keep going. It will work out exactly as it’s supposed to.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:08 PM
1

They never are yours. It was just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 03:46 PM
7

I have a negative net worth of about 230k. Not worried about it. I will figure it out. I started a business in 2019. Got wiped out financially because of Covid. She wanted a divorce because of getting wiped out. I wanted a divorce because she put me thru narcissistic abuse; cheated, lied, gaslighted, and manipulated me. She was also sexting and sending nudes to a guy in prison for sex trafficking. That’s just the highlights. Pretty sure she is bipolar as well. I am glad I have no money to split …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 12:01 AM
3

Same. I can’t marry again. I have to rebuild my life at 56. I have to really save for retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:41 PM
6

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:40 PM
6

Once you learn how someone thinks they can become unattractive. That’s my story.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 02:10 AM
10

I read a pretty funny take on it (gotta find humor). I just remember one line: From cream pies to no replies There was alot more. Gotta find it again. I have been thru hell and came out fire proof. Looking forward to getting my revenge by living my best life.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 01:56 AM
3

He figured it out on his. He told me he will move in with me full time when he can.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 04:08 PM
12

My son, who’s 12, said to me recently that “mama always plays the victim.” Glad he is learning this at such a young age.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:56 PM
7

He nails it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:54 PM
3

My divorce is almost done. My STBXW is a covert malignant narcissist and bipolar. Fun times. She cheated, lied, gaslighted and manipulated me. Bonus; she plotted against me with another man to try and entrap me (I didn’t know about it but it didn’t work). This guy so happens to be in prison for sex trafficking. She sexted him and sent him nudes. She also tried to manipulate me to commit suicide. I was already very depressed, she was almost successful. I found proof of her intentions after the fa…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 12:26 AM
1

😂 Still a stud. I did the usual thing most guys do when getting a divorce - hit the gym. Best shape of my life. I have been taking KravMaga for 3 years now as well. Got good genes, look a lot younger. Got hit on by a woman no older than 30 recently. Another woman wants to go out with me but she is 23 (with a 2 year old). I haven’t told her my real age. My kids are older, 10 and 12. Couldn’t date someone with a 2 year old 😂. Or that young.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 01:33 AM
3

56.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 12:06 AM
4

I am not lonely by any means. Once you are happy by yourself no woman can control you. Once my divorce is final I plan on seeing a professional once or twice a month. Most woman are transactional in a relationship so why not I do the same?
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:26 PM
14

Also, a lot of men have given up on dating altogether because they have been repeatedly burned by women. I am one of them. I have had two women cheat on me; a woman I was going to marry and my STBXW. I am not actively looking but if I met someone organically I may consider. But she is going to have to approach me because I will not.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:43 PM
2

My attorney is friends with our GAL. Told me they all go out to dinner at least once a month. Of course I got 50/50 custody (ex was going for 100% custody). Missouri is a 50/50 state anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:40 AM
6

Hell no.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:47 PM
4

I was married for 15 years, ex wanted support. She got nothing. We almost went to trial and she gave in on that and several other items. Each state is different though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:37 PM
8

She doesn’t care. Write and then burn it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 11:46 AM
1

Keep going. Your kids won’t know what it cost you. They will just know you were there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 05:51 PM
3

Definitely. Don’t say anything bad about your ex. That’s their mom. Don’t drag them into the drama either. Just focus on them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:41 PM
2

You don’t. Women aren’t headed. They just go on to their next victim. Women love opportunistically. Men love authentically (Not all for both, but a very high percentage for each. There are exceptions).
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 08:08 AM
11

Yep, 100% cheating. Once you been thru it you can see it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 12:53 AM
3

This is good. Thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 01:58 AM
2

I didn’t change lawyers but had to fight for my 50/50 (which I got). Agreement finally reached. Best 70k I ever spent.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:50 PM
4

I as cheated on in two relationships; one was a woman I was going to marry and another one is my STBXW. Just focusing on my kids and myself. I am not actively looking. If I met someone, great. If not, no big deal. My happiness is not contingent upon someone else. For sex I may hire a professional from time to time. Certainly cheaper!!! 😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 06:39 PM
21

I am 56m. My divorce will be final soon. Don’t feel like dating. Will never remarry. Every relationship I have been in shows me why women can’t be trusted.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 02:10 PM
-3

I did it for a year. Slept in the same bed. It is a king bed though so there was plenty of room.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 07:48 PM
5

My STBXW put me thru narcissistic abuse; cheated, lied, gaslighted, and manipulation. She also plotted against me with another man to try and entrap me (didn’t work). She sexted and sent nudes to this other man. This man is in prison for sex trafficking. She also tried to manipulate me into committing suicide so she could get my life insurance. I found proof of her intentions. She also did parental alienation (thankfully it didn’t work), went for 100% custody (I went for a got 50/50) and she als…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 12:39 PM
1

Bottom line is my kids are my motivation. I couldn’t give up for them. Not going to lie. Was severely depressed and planned to unalive myself. So glad now I didn’t. And besides, if I had done so my ex would have won.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 10:11 AM
6

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. Been thru hell and came out fire proof. Not going to lie, you got tough times ahead. But life is so much better now. You got this bro.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/26 01:45 PM
1

May I suggest therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 04:59 PM
3

That’s a great way to think of it!!!! Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:27 AM
0

If you actually said that it’s a dick move for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:17 PM
3

Yep, I was there once upon a time when I was in a dark place. Thank goodness I got myself out of it. I even got a semicolon tattoo on my left wrist (Google it if you don’t know). First, my kids saved me. They will most likely never know though. They are why I am still here. I got out of my dark place because of them. Also, killing yourself doesn’t get rid of the pain, it just passes it to your kids. Children of a parent who committed suicide are more likely to kill themselves later in life. Do y…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 02:02 PM
1

Great information and I agree with all except number 3. That is old information and the trend is to more a 50/50 custody. My state is a mandatory 50/50 except for child abuse or molestation. Great information on number 8. I will look that up. Thanks for sharing!!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:50 PM
1

You are 100% wrong. My attorney told me not to worry about it. I would not have to pay her anything.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 03:06 PM
1

Are you an attorney in my state? Didn’t think so. Mine does for sure. 100%. I checked with my attorney since my STBXW might lose her job. If she loses her job the court expects her to get a similar job with similar income etc. My attorney said I would not have to pay her anything. In my state it is very difficult to get alimony and it’s not for life either, if it’s even awarded.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 02:54 PM
1

He needs to talk to an attorney yesterday. My state is not like that, if a spouse loses her job to bad. No support from STBXH. I know this because my STBXW’s job is in jeopardy and I already checked with my attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 01:27 PM
3

Depends on the state. In my state if she made 100k and lost her job the court would expect her to get a similar job making 100k. Once again, depends on the state. Talk to an attorney yesterday. And why the hell would one wait to file? If it’s over get out!!!
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 01:20 PM
3

I was you a few years ago. It’s going to be difficult, ngl. You got this. You will probably not believe me right now but it gets better. A lot better. Living my best life now and I don’t miss my ex at all. She turned out to be a horrible person.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 02:44 AM
14

Yes, tell the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:58 PM
2

I actually didn’t have to take them over to her place on Christmas Day. Nothing in our custody agreement addresses it. In our custody agreement I get our kids on Halloween and she gets them New Years Eve. That’s the only holidays addressed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 01:13 PM
2

If you move out that’s considered abandonment. Will be used against you. Why haven’t you lawyered up?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:18 PM
1

They are 10 and 12. I had coordinated the schedule with my ex prior but my kids don’t want to go. They are old enough not to force them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:22 PM
3

Sweet!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 10:08 PM
6

That must of been a sweet sound to your ears.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 09:47 PM
1

My STBXW was throwing out crazy numbers as well. Mediator asked me how much I was willing to spend at trial to which I replied “30k, 50k, 100k I don’t care. I am not paying her anything (she wanted 50k) because she cheated, lied, gaslighted, manipulated, plotted against me with another man, this man is in prison for sex trafficking, she sexted this man and sent him nudes. She also tried to manipulate me into committing suicide so she could get the insurance money.” She didn’t try to deny anythin…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 06:31 PM
3

My STBXW and I went to mediation this past Saturday. He educated her on what she could realistically get in the divorce. We actually ended up getting an agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 10:13 PM
3

Same here.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:47 PM
15

My divorce will be final in a few months, just wanting for the judge to sign the settlement agreement. Wanting for it to be signed before I do anything, I want to make sure it’s done first. But I plan on using an escort. I have one picked out already. My reason is I just want sex. If you think about it dating a woman and then getting to sex is just transactional anyway so why not just cut out the bullshit? I make good money so paying $800 to $1,600 for an hour to a few hours once a month is wort…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:18 PM
9

I agree. It’s complete bs. I think women are making it up since they can’t take accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:15 PM
5

KravMaga, gym, reading, cooking/baking…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:01 PM
3

You are still in love with a woman who never existed. It is all in your head. She was wearing a mask. Been there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 09:07 PM
2

You are still in love with a woman that never existed. It was all an act. Been there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 09:06 PM
3

This is what I plan to do once my divorce is complete. Most relationships with women are transactional anyway, it’s just straight to the point when you pay for it. Less bullshit and drama as well. And this is coming from a guy who was a diehard romantic and wanted to be married for as long as I can remember. I even waited until 22 to lose my virginity because I wanted to be in a serious relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 01:56 PM
2

You won’t get anything. Most of us in this sub have gone thru the same. The court doesn’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 01:36 PM
6

Sounds eerily familiar. I am 70k in the whole for attorney fees. Trial in April.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 02:51 AM
12

This 💯. It didn’t work out with the new guy you knew nothing about.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 05:38 PM
11

I have been, and still going, thru something very similar. Went self employed in 2019. My one year non solicitation expired during the heart of Covid. My income went from 240k pre self employed to 60k self employed. Got wiped out financially, went from 2.5 million to a negative net worth now of about 240k. In 2021 my STBXW told “I want an open marriage. Wedding vows mean nothing. It’s my body and I will sleep with whoever I want whenever I want.” I didn’t agree so she cheated anyway. Found out s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 12:26 AM
1

Yes, I am doing great. Thank you for following up. That means alot to me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 07:44 PM
1

Give up all of your equity you have in the house?
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 01:19 PM
3

I am good now, thanks. Been going thru therapy for a while. Second time I have been cheated on, first time was a woman I was going to marry. I will never love that hard again. Or even marry, most women can’t be trusted.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:50 PM
10

At least she waited. My STBXW was bringing home guys to bang in our bed when I was at work. She didn’t think I would find out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 11:56 AM
22

Mine was sexting and sending nudes to a guy in prison. He is in prison for sex trafficking. That was just one of the many betrayals.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 01:50 PM
7

Now that’s epic.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 06:01 PM
2

Unfortunately no! I am just getting back into it. I only felt interested in dating again about 5 months ago. I did try Match and Stir. Match seemed to be a lot of scammers and for Stir I really didn’t find anyone I was really interested in. I only tried them for one month until I hid my profile. I had a little more luck on FB dating. But women don’t seem to put in much effort. They reply but don’t really ask questions to get to know you. I guess it’s a function of how many likes they get (since …
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 05:39 PM
4

I am happy for you almost done!! I am 2 1/2 years in now! Spent 65k so far. Going to trial in April for absolutely no reason.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 09:17 PM
6

My STBXW is both a narcissist and bi polar. Fun times.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 12:39 PM
2

Not all but but a very high percentage, IMHO.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:37 PM
3

I have been cheated on in two relationships now; one was a woman I was going to marrying and my STBXW. I was at a bar with some friends recently. I saw a man with his girlfriend/wife sitting at the bar across from me. When he went to the bathroom I witnessed his girlfriend/wife give the male bartender her phone number. Unfortunately he never was by himself again or I would I have told him what I saw. I will never trust a woman fully ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:10 PM
10

There is no such thing as a perfect wife. She is wearing a mask if you think that’s what she is.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 11:39 AM
8

How did you find this provider? You can DM if you like. I am asking for a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:29 AM
2

My STBXW went for 100% and I went for, and got, 50/50. That is what the GAL recommended.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 08:22 PM
4

Yes. My STBXW filed for 100% custody. I went for, and got, 50/50. I live in Missouri and it’s a default 50/50 state. We had to get a Guardian Ad Litum. Sounds like she is going nuclear like my STBXW has done. I am at 64k in attorney fees so far. We go to trial in April because she won’t agree to anything. Hang in there. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 04:49 PM
20

Yep, they sure will. I think most wives do cheat at some point (75%+).
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 12:05 PM
5

Yep.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 11:41 AM
3

“I thought about quitting but then I noticed who was watching.” I am going to get my revenge by living my best life. I will recreate my wealth, did it once already. This time it will be quicker and sweeter. Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:40 PM
3

I always pay my debts. And the 250k I reached this year from my self employed job. Last year it was 120k (not including DoorDash).
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:35 PM
3

Same, 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:24 PM
3

I am stuck with the credit card debt. Not going to file for bankruptcy although I could. Plus attorneys fees were running 10k per month for a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 01:17 PM
51

I am 56. I had 3 million in 2019. I left a corporate job paying me 240k to become self employed. My 1 year non solicitation came off during Covid. I did increase my client base but not like I expected. During Covid I had to start selling stuff when it was down even though I knew it would come back (and pay the taxes/penalties). No choice. Ran out of money. Ran up credit cards. Again, no choice. I did get my income up to 120k though. Late 21 my wife demanded an open marriage. I refused so she che…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 11:14 AM
6

This 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 01:22 AM
3

Thanks bro. I thought the same. However, they are not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:22 PM
4

Well, there is one woman that noticed and commented (she said, “wow! You have gotten huge!” When she saw me). She is my esthetician that I see a few times each year (since 2018). I told her last year in my sessions about my divorce. She is divorced as well, she is 50. Recently she said she needs to hit the gym before getting back on FB dating. I told her “I think you look great.” She replied “I think you look great too. You have gotten really muscular.” She said a few other things that makes me …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:47 PM
2

I suggest going to the gym. It helped me alot. It’s boosted my confidence as well because I know I look a lot better. Take a class of some kind that gets you physical activity. I do KravMaga. Been doing it for 2 plus years and it helps my confidence. Getting pretty good at it as well. I got into cooking and baking as well. Gotten really good at it. My son says I should open a restaurant. I did it at first to piss off my ex (posted pictures on FB of my dishes, I know she sees it) but now I really…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:39 PM
7

Yes, been in therapy for about 3 years (I go every couple of months). I am no longer in my dark place. My divorce trial is scheduled for April and will be finalized by September. There are no assets left (I have a negative net worth now) but she wants me to pay her hundreds of thousands of dollars. My attorney said that won’t happen. So far my divorce has cost 65k. My self employed business has taken off. My relationship with my kids has only gotten stronger (she went for 100% custody and I went…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 01:10 PM
9

High level overview; my STBXW put me thru narcissistic abuse. She cheated, lied, gas lighted, manipulated and even plotted against me with another man. She was sexting and sending nudes to a guy in prison. He is in prison for sex trafficking. She went off on me every day for 2 months while she knew I was depressed. Telling me everything was my fault. Narcissists are great at getting you to believe that. One time she said “If you kill yourself it would hurt (our 7 year old son’s name) but (our 5 …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 12:26 PM
11

F60.81 would be a good one. It’s the billable code for narcissistic personality disorder.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 11:12 PM
2

My STBXW wants me to pay her hundreds of thousands from me that doesn’t exist. 😂 I have negative net worth now. I could file for bankruptcy. She is trying to get blood out of a turnip.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 11:36 PM
1

Missouri here, 65k and still going!!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 08:12 PM
2

Thankfully I haven’t had that issue yet.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 04:08 PM
1

These narcissists think they can manipulate the court like they have done with guys all of their life. Courts have seen it all already and see thru their bullshit. They don’t get what they think they can in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:58 PM
1

Thanks! It’s been hell so far so I don’t have high expectations. I know she will lose her ass in trial though with all the stuff I have on her. I hope it goes smooth for you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 11:44 PM
2

This is the way if she truly is a full blown narcissist.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 06:20 PM
6

My STBXW is a narcissist. Here is what will most likely happen; she will try parental alienation, go for 100% custody of your kids, never agree to anything in the settlement offers, make countless false claims in court filings, try to control what you do in your custody time, and take your divorce to trial. That’s what has happened so far for me. Spent 65k in attorneys fees so far. It will be at least another 25k for trial (in April). Oh, and it doesn’t matter if she said that she will be amicab…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 04:27 PM
5

Yes. It helped me work thru my PTSD which was the result of narcissistic abuse. Helped me thru my depression. Helped to hold myself accountable. Helped me see red flags in a woman who was interested in me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 11:46 PM
26

I got two great kids out of my marriage and am grateful. I won’t get married again. I should have just gone the surrogate route for kids. And the sugar daddy route for companionship. It would have been cheaper. And less painful.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 06:34 PM
16

Single women are bitter and will ruin another woman’s relationship because they don’t want them to be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 03:02 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 12:05 PM
2

Get a lawyer. You can’t do this by yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 12:48 PM
6

If you don’t take the test, congratulations!!! You are a dad and now how to pay child support. If you refuse it will be a default ruling against you for the mom/child.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 11:22 AM
1

It’s been 2 1/2 years in the divorce process for me. Going to trial in April. She is a narcissist, they never agree to anything and always go to trial. So I am a lot further along. Believe me, it’s get better. ALOT better. Not going to lie, it’s going to get more difficult. But getting to the other side is worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 12:34 AM
2

I am 56 and my divorce has been going on for 2 years. Separated but lived together for a year before that. I haven’t been interested in dating until recently.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 12:51 AM
3

This 💯%.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 11:33 AM
2

I am divorcing my wife who is originally from Ukraine. Unfortunately she is narcissistic and bipolar (and bisexual lol). If you want to know how Ukrainian women act or are treated while they lived there DM me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 11:39 PM
3

Its been 2 1/2 years in the divorce process so far. Going to trial in April. So a little different situation. Only recently have I felt like dating again. So it seems I am reversed compared to your experience. I did try the apps for a few months. I was very picky in whom I swiped right on. Went on one date. She decided not to go on another date since my divorce wasn’t final yet. There is one woman that I have known for a while that I am interested in and attracted to. She seems to be dropping hi…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 07:54 PM
4

You got it bro!!
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 08:38 PM
3

This 100%. Go see an attorney. Just don’t tell her at this time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:54 PM
2

😂🤣
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 10:09 PM
1

Oh it’s not. That’s for sure. I just read a post in the divorce subreddit saying his wife had an emotional affair. As I said, it’s never emotional. It seems a lot of men believe it. Unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 02:00 PM
6

I didn’t take offense at all. Already moved on even though the divorce isn’t final yet.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 01:17 PM
7

Yep. Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 12:48 PM
7

I disagree. Rant is an available option and this is a safe place to do so. If you don’t agree then you can ignore or even leave this sub. Edit: upon reflection you are most likely a woman who is lurking in this men’s subreddit and who probably had “just” an emotional affair. That’s the only reason I can think of that you are offended by this post. Have a good day ma’am.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 12:26 PM
4

Yes! Freedom. That’s it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 04:01 AM
8

Life is definitely better. I don’t have to worry about being stabbed in the back anymore. Rebuilding myself. Relationship with my kids is stronger than ever.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 03:14 AM
3

I am in a 50/50 state. About the only way you cannot get this is if you a pedo, domestic violence, child abuse. My STBXW went for 100% custody and I went for, and got, 50/50. Your attorney should met with you before your GAL appointment. They should know and have experience with what the GAL will want to discuss. Turned out my attorney and the GAL were friends; her and her spouse went out regularly with him and his spouse. The irony is there might be a change of custody in my favor. My STBXW pun…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 02:05 PM
1

Big mistake. You need an attorney, don’t handle it yourself. You will make mistakes and end up getting screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 01:52 PM
2

I just have no idea why you wait to file. Boggles my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:21 AM
5

Never take an ex back. He is in love with the image of her that’s in his head. That’s not who she really is.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:45 PM
3

The funny thing is she is the one who put me thru narcissistic abuse; cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulation and plotting against me with another man. She sexted and sent nudes to a guy in prison for sex trafficking. She went for 100% custody and I went for/got 50/50. She is trying to punish me. I think it goes back to “once you know the truth about a liar you are enemy number one.” I can see when they get older (son, 11, and daughter 9) that they will chose to live with me. My son is almost…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 01:33 PM
2

💯% this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 11:37 AM
9

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing. Definitely do not say anything negative to your kids about their mom. Document anything the kids say about your ex that she is doing wrong. Never pry or try to get information on her. Asking your kids about their day and the things they did is ok. Kids eventually figure out what kind of person their parents are. You want them to be able to be proud of you when they figure you out. My STBXW did do parental alienation. I documented everything but the courts haven’t …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 11:37 AM
3

I have been working out 4 to 5 days a week for almost 2 years. I work out 20 to 30 minutes. Upper body one day, lower body next. I do enough to cover all the muscle groups, upper body it’s 7 exercises. This past December I started one day a week with a personal trainer to do free weights. At the start of summer I do two sessions a week. Still working out on my own. For the last 2 years I take KravMaga classes. Three months ago I started one private lesson a week and at least 2 group classes. I h…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 03:02 AM
2

Investments/Finance.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:20 PM
1

I don’t know how much she spent. I guess 20k at least, maybe up to 30k. I have had to counter her bullshit. Which I have been doing, it just costs more. I have all the debt, she wouldn’t make any payments. I have also not paid my Federal taxes for the 3 years (yet anyway). My choice was to 1.) pay my taxes and not my attorney. I most likely would not have any custody and almost never see my kids again(if ever). Or 2.) Not pay my taxes and pay my attorney instead to get 50/50 custody. I chose opt…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 06:12 PM
3

Oh I will. Her big mistake was that she underestimated me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 05:08 PM
11

F that. I am not going to let my STBXW win. She cheated, lied, gaslighted, manipulated and plotted against me with another man. She sexted and sent nudes to a guy in prison for sex trafficking. She recently physically abused our son and is refusing required surgery for our daughter. When we split I said let’s divorce amicably. A few months latter she did something and I texted her I thought we agreed to be amicable. She replied “you agreed.” She wanted war so I am responding in kind. So I don’t …
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 04:40 PM
9

Why are you waiting for her to file? Get a lawyer and file already.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 11:56 AM
6

My STBXW removed me from her health insurance plan without telling me before she filed for divorce. That was allowable according to my attorney. My attorney said that if she had removed me from health insurance AFTER she had filed it would be a problem. Sounds like your STBXW may have a problem. Wait to hear from your attorney before doing anything. And be very careful. Look both ways before crossing the street. In fact, just stay home. Don’t leave.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 11:29 PM
3

👍
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 07:51 PM
4

Most states 50/50 is the default option (which is my state). My STBXW went for 100% and I went for 50/50. I got 50/50 (court hearing was February of 2024). The irony is our kids Guardian Ad Litem is considering changing custody now because my ex is refusing surgery for our daughter (medical neglect). She also punched our son a few times. There are a few other reasons. Sounds like you are depressed. Instead of fighting for your kids you could just give up and let her have custody. You probably wi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 12:22 PM
10

Going thru a brutal divorce (she cheated). Two years in the divorce and 63k in attorneys fees so far. She is absolutely a horrible person and I don’t care if she remembers my birthday or not (kids remind her I am sure). July 3rd was our 14th year wedding anniversary. I didn’t even remember it was our anniversary until about 9 PM that night. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 10:40 PM
1

This post is completely horrible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 02:43 PM
3

Ask your attorney but generally not a good idea. Ex can claim dissipation of martial assets. If judge finds you guilty then the court could order you to pay her share out of your income (if you have no assets left). And your ex will most likely find out. Also, if judge finds out you did this then the whole divorce trial will not go your way at all.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 02:42 PM
9

If you move out that could be considered abandonment. Get a lawyer yesterday bro.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 12:50 AM
2

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 02:14 AM
7

Same here. I find almost all women unattractive (like 99.5%). I shudder at the thought of another relationship (been cheated on in two relationships, one was a girlfriend and my STBXW). Going thru a brutal divorce. Why bother with relationships when I will probably be cheated on? I have just been working on myself. Being the best dad I can be. Seeing a therapist. Getting back into my old interests. Reconnecting with old friends. Working out a lot (people have been commenting that I have gotten h…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 10:43 PM
1

😂
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:52 PM
7

It’s tough, that’s for sure! I made a move recently. My STBXW is going to be shocked and surprised. My STBXW is refusing eye surgery for our daughter (to correct a lazy eye). Got a letter from her doctor (this is medical neglect and a form of child abuse). She also punched my son twice in the back and threw his phone against the wall. I also have multiple instances of her trying to control my custody time. We meet with the Guardian Ad Litum the week before last. Got notice that a pretrial confer…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 04:23 PM
1

Looks like the court is considering changing custody, see my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/YrMb6Nm4TD Kids and I met with the GAL last week. Was notified today of a pretrial conference scheduled late July. It said my ex and I are required to attend. What I thought was interesting was that my ex and I were NOT required to attend a pretrial conference that had been scheduled a few months ago. I am wondering if they will change custody and give me 100% legal at a minimum. Si…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 12:17 AM
8

My STBXW was sexting and sending nudes to a guy in prison. He is in prison for sex trafficking. He gets out in 2030. Not sure if she is still in contact with him or not.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 08:50 PM
5

My STBXW’s PDL filings were full of lies. The judge never even addressed her PDL filings, they could tell it was all BS. Guardian Ad Litum recommend 50/50 and that’s what I got. Thankfully.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 01:03 PM
4

If you move out it could be considered abandonment. Hire an attorney before you do anything.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 12:16 PM
4

My STBXW is holding up the surgery, not my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 12:45 PM
10

I am a chill guy. In 14 years of marriage I never yelled at my STBXW (10 years that I thought were good, 2 years of basically roommates and now 2 years of divorce process). This because my ex stepfather was both mentally and verbally abusive to me (he tried to beat me a couple of times but I was to fast, he couldn’t catch me 😂). The verbal abuse included lots of yelling. Anyway, women hope that their STBXH lose their cool and yell (and do stupid shit). I noticed my STBXW has a camera on the mant…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 01:33 PM
4

100% belongs to my STBXW. After 10 years of marriage my STBXW had sex with her girlfriend. She danced with a guy and told me he turned her on. She told me “I want an open marriage. Wedding vows mean nothing. It’s my body and I will sleep with whoever I want whenever I want.” Found out she had cheated on me with at least 4 guys while we were dating and engaged. She was also sexting and sending nudes to a guy in prison. He is in prison for sex trafficking. And these examples are just the highlight…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 02:45 PM
2

That’s awesome!! Unfortunately we are going to trial since she won’t agree to anything. Trial was set for November of this year. Her attorney just requested a change of judge this past week. That will change the court date until next year now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 02:20 PM
4

It’s always the man’s fault. They never take responsibility. Looking forward for my divorce to be finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 02:11 PM
1

The dragging out part sucks. I want this to be over. My STBXW went for 100% and I went for 50/50. Court ordered a Guardian Ad Litum. Had a custody hearing and I got 50/50. That was February of last year. I have an appointment next week with the GAL. My STBXW punched my son a few times and took his phone, then threw it against the wall. He said she also calls them “bitch”. I had my kids over Mothers Day weekend. I agreed with her to drop them off for lunch and she would bring them back. My son re…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 09:08 PM
3

Sounds like things are going your way. Sucks her employer was colluding with her though regarding stock options. We were supposed to go to trial in November but my STBXW petitioned for a new judge. Since we are switching judges we will have a new trial date sometime next year. I am definitely disappointed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 08:55 PM
2

💯% this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 12:05 PM
2

I have been were you are now. You are doing all the right things so far but you do need to see a therapist. Believe me, it gets better. You got this bro.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 07:57 PM
5

I did DoorDash on the side.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 12:43 AM
3

💯% this!! I used to be were OP is now, even though my STBXW put me thru narcissistic abuse. My life is so much better. I don’t have to worry about my STBXW stabbing me in the back anymore. My relationship with my kids has only gotten stronger. I am SE and this year my business took off, well into 6 figures now (STBXW will find out at trial I suppose). She won’t receive spousal maintenance at all, she earns a decent salary (but mine is 3.5x hers now). I am deeply in debt but don’t care. I will di…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 02:03 PM
5

14 years; first 10 I thought were good, the next 2 miserable and the last 2 in the process of divorce. Actually I am wiped out with a negative net worth of about 250k. I offered to take all of this debt and call it even but my STBXW wants me to pay her 250k. That’s why we are going to trial. As a side note, my net worth was about 3 million in 2019 (I had made about 2/3 of that prior to marriage). I had a corporate job that paid me 240k per year (but the hours got to be insane, 12 hour days). In …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 02:19 PM
4

60k so far. Trial in November, will cost at least 25k.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 03:53 AM
2

That’s great! I have been seeing a counselor for several years. It definitely helps.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 12:56 PM
3

Well said. You are 100% correct.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 09:24 PM
5

Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me. You need to see a counselor as well as listen to your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 12:17 PM
6

I love your statement “torture them with success.”
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 01:24 PM
3

My son said that “mama makes everything miserable.” I had him call her, I wasn’t going to get into the middle of that. He didn’t go but my daughter did. She said “mama yelled at me because I did a sleepover at (her friends) house.” Her mom doesn’t let her do sleepovers at her friends but I do. Now my daughter is scared to do so. My daughter has her friends sleepover at my place but not her moms. I asked why and my daughter said “mama doesn’t like my friends.” My daughter is 9. So that will be di…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 01:23 AM
3

My STBXW went for 100% custody and I went for 50/50. No idea why except to be vengeful for finally figuring out who she truly is (she cheated, lied etc. I got proof). Once you know the truth about a liar you are enemy number one. Guardian Ad Litum recommended 50/50 which is what I got. Going back for a follow up appointment with the GAL because she has been abusing our 11 year old son as well as calling our children “bitch”. Mother’s Day weekend I had my kids. Our son refused to see his mom on M…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 10:51 PM
10

How do you guys find so many women to bang? I use a couple of apps but only swipe right on 1/2% I would guess. So many women are overweight. Not interested in that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 07:37 PM
9

My divorce is not quite over but I am over her. She lied, cheated, manipulated, gaslighted, plotted against me with another man, sexted/sent nudes to a guy in prison for sex trafficking, went for 100% custody, etc.. And these are just the highlights. The old advice, hit the gym. I take KravMaga. Best shape of my life. Find some hobbies. Get counseling. I have friends to do stuff with occasionally but not always available. I have no problem going out to eat by myself and then a bar for some music…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 12:06 PM
4

This is my answer as well. In addition, we do have two great kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 01:11 PM
1

GAL is “Guadian Ad Litum” which is an attorney for the kids. Court ordered one since she went for 100% custody and wouldn’t budge.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 12:25 PM
2

Good advice. I do most of what you suggested. He is very smart, straight As without trying. He is fluent in 2 languages. School put him in AP for this fall when he starts 6th grade. He loves playing Airsoft, there is an Airsoft field nearby. I need to get a gun and gear so I can join him. He has really gotten interested in playing guitar. He has taken lessons for two years but would never practice outside of class. That changed recently. He played a song at the school talent show. All the kids w…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 03:48 PM
5

Yes, he said punched. I guess she wanted to get his phone away from him (which I pay for). He is 11 but is bigger than her. Still a kid mentality though. Regardless, she shouldn’t be hitting him. Sounds like verbal abuse as well. Wasn’t expecting this but not too surprised.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 03:54 AM
3

Custody is already decided to be 50/50. Wasn’t expecting this but not too surprised.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 03:51 AM
15

I am 56 and looks like my divorce will be over in November at the latest (trial date set). Trying to settle. Already spent 60k on attorneys fees. In 2019 I had 3 million (I got married at 40 and already had saved up quite a bit). I started my own business in 2019 and got wiped out because of Covid. Had to sell stuff when it was down just to have money to live. Ran out of money and started running up cards (wife wasn’t working, youngest was 3 and not in school). In 2021 my STBXW visited a girlfri…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 02:33 AM
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