Fuck it

tempussecundus · 2024-06-17T22:36:54+00:00

Same here, OP. Wife took out an OOP against me. Was ble to win some supervised visitation. The burden of proof is so low that anything they say the Judge usually agrees to. She agreed to file a joint petition so hopefully I'll be able to claw back some custody. I haven't seen my daughter in a month because of it.

lebonroidagobert · 2024-06-17T02:22:36+00:00

man i’m sorry to hear this. i’ve def thought that before and all the time. i stay though bc it’s not the kids fault. and at least at the end of the day even if you are alienated and whatever other kind of nonsense can happen at least you can say you showed up and tried your best. ❤️❤️

MrKSquire · 2024-06-15T22:08:26+00:00

This is my worst fear with my wife. She has accused me of being abusive with my kids multiple times and actually forced me to see a therapist (who inevitably said my wife was the one with the issues not me). My best defense is that both therapists I’ve seen over the past 4 years both concluded that she is the one with the bizarre behavior not me

BrooklynBanksBrother · 2024-06-15T18:21:41+00:00

Modern women are terrible. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. You are not the only one by a longshot. Damn near every man I know that’s going through a divorce or has recently gone through a divorce is facing this kind of nonsense.

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-06-15T13:58:11+00:00

Take a loan from your 401k and go see a lawyer.

wonderer4920 · 2024-06-15T06:10:49+00:00

Don’t give up, that’s what she wants you to do.

Skaeofficial · 2024-06-14T15:26:09+00:00

At first i fought back but i eventually reached a point where i said fuck it she can have my daughter because no matter how nice i tried too be no matter how cvil i tried too be for the sake of my daughter her mom always found a way too blame something on me and take her away this on top of the lies she tells her boyfriend and others too justify why she did it and on top of that she has done several things too ruin my chances with my daughter like getting me arrested on false domestic charges which Got dropped dcfs investigation because she kept calling the cops on me over the most smallest and ridiculous things over time it just became not worth it i love my daughter but i love my freedom more im not going too jail over a toxic bitch

Jake_Barnes_ · 2024-06-14T22:25:11+00:00

Testimony is a form of evidence. Most of the time it after a hearing a judge puts that into place they have a good reason.

Sam_N_Emmy · 2024-06-14T20:23:47+00:00

Don’t let her win. It sucks but if you give up she wins and basically you are whatever she says you are.

WindowFuzz · 2024-06-14T20:03:58+00:00

Before you call it quits, please, please watch this video-she will help you see things from the eyes of your daughter:

https://youtu.be/R1bwfT2rdJU?si=5BdOZdEPTkWstgmb

Classic_Dill · 2024-06-14T20:01:14+00:00

You’re going to keep being abused and you’re gonna keep getting kicked in the chest until you actually get a lawyer, you’re gonna have to figure this out I paid $3000 retainer and that was it, you have to hit her for faults claims, you cannot do that it will destroy your visitation and custody, get a good lawyer may a woman and make sure she’s a complete bastard.

bk2747 · 2024-06-14T19:51:56+00:00

“I haven’t filed for divorce yet.” Just go ahead and let her and the courts know that you don’t value your life and you want to be homeless. All this shit and you’re dragging your fucking feet, whistling Dixie. You wanna get the ball rolling or are you gonna wait tell you get bent over in court? Since everything’s just a joke and a game to you.

Supervised visitation? Zoom calls? For what? And you’re still playing Mr. Nice Guy. This is what’s wrong with men. Your 6ft 200lbs asses let some 4ft 11in woman bend you over her knee and spank you on the ass and y’all just take it. “I just wanna see my kids” ass motherfuckers.

“I have a small 401k and she’s just gonna take that anyway.” Instead of emptying the 401k and getting your own lawyer and filing for divorce.

Nope. Sometimes you gotta say “fuck you and them kids” to save your own life. There’s a whole world to govern explore and live in. You’re not trapped in Small Town, USA.

You’ve got two options. Reach down, grab your fucking balls and take control of your life, or let this woman continue to fuck you in the ass with a 12” strap on while you sit there with your thumb in your mouth, begging for zoom call time with no sons to carry on your name.

Up to you. 🤷🏿‍♂️

And fuck alimony. Get a job, bitch. That’s where my head is and has always been.

If you need to do it, pull the trigger and go start your life over. Can’t do much with daughters anyway, they’ll take after mom regardless and your legacy doesn’t continue with grandchildren.

probebeta · 2024-06-14T17:54:38+00:00

If you're planning to pay child support and alimony and get no access to your kids then you're basically letting her get away with everything. If you said "I'm paying no support, moving out of country fuk it" then, as unpopular as that idea sounds, at least it makes some sense. She asked for war, give her one, and make it epic!

008muse · 2024-06-14T17:30:25+00:00

Get another job, start earning more money. Interview maybe 3-4 lawyers and hire them. Get ready for war brother, you’re built for this. Don’t let her wear you down any longer.

Commercial-Rub-3223 · 2024-06-14T17:03:30+00:00

You are letting her take control of the narrative STOP!!!! Man up get a freaking lawyer be ready for war

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-06-14T14:47:52+00:00

As your kids get older they’re going to wish you fought to have them in your life. Went to a wedding recently where the bride didn’t invite her father for that purpose. Kids are always watching, show them the right way

NewDay0110 · 2024-06-14T14:21:55+00:00

I've been through the same kind of accusations. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Worst part is that there is no punishment for her lies.

I fought the good fight and won. Judge saw through her lies and I have 50/50 custody and time. Just be a great dad. Show up to all thr Zoom calls. Get as much time as you can. If you can show you are a good dad it will help you through this. That's how I did it - I had quality parenting time that contradicted her story that I was abusive.

NuncaContent · 2024-06-14T14:03:15+00:00

You would certainly reshuffle her deck if all the sudden you took a I don’t give a fuck approach. Think through it, map out the consequences as best you can and think through how you’ll respond to the different scenarios.

This_Train340i · 2024-06-14T11:48:27+00:00

I know men who say fuck it and move out of the country because they refuse to pay vaginamoney and child support for kids they aren't given a chance to have a relationship with anymore. But to stick around just to punish yourself and voluntarily pay vaginamoney and CS for kids you'll never see? I don't see the logic in that whatsoever. Your wife has checked out, she's evil, a liar, and should be in jail for making up false criminal charges. She doesn't care what you think unless it is detrimental to your mental health. Stop giving her power over you. It's time to live your life solely on your own terms now so get busy making the best of it by aborting that Succubus from your life.

Internal_Echidna5646 · 2024-06-14T09:28:50+00:00

Not permanently but sometimes you have to take about 3 big steps back & not be so "available".

(Just an example) : Big deal if you don't make every damn zoom call or BS supervised visit. She is probably the one that blew it all up anyway. Why should you have to jump through hoops to talk to the kids. She (probably) created the situation.

When they know something is really important to you they will try & ruin it. Years ago when mine were little I stopped telling the ex certain dates were important because she would be late, cause unnecessary drama etc.

The kids will figure it out soon enough.

You need to file though immediately. This woman has falsely claimed you abused your daughters. She is now a threat to you physically, mentally & financially.

Actually now I think about it, stepping way back might be the better option in a situation like this anyway for now. Maybe explain to the supervisor & court why. I don't know but I do see why some guys do bail on all the nonsense.

Hell half the time if the guy disappears all the woman does is think about it constantly. Step back for awhile if you need to. Let her know you're not going to be jumping through unnecessary BS hoops anymore.

alifeofpeace · 2024-06-14T09:16:19+00:00

Sorry to hear about this bullshit. I too was subjected to false allegations of abuse. Lucky for me I filed first and made my own REAL allegations of her being a drunk and a fuck up. I beat her to the punch and it took some steam away. It doesn’t change the fact that she STILL makes up fabricated lies about me.

Stay calm. Keep fighting her lying ass. If she goes down the road of poisoning your daughters minds and is successful with alienation that’s a different conversation. I really hope that it’s not effective. I suspect we have the same model of ex wife which is an evil person.

capnjackstation · 2024-06-14T08:54:02+00:00

Nope. I’ve thought that a few times as well. The problem is I love my kids, she uses that to her advantage even though she’s destroying the kids.

whoisgodiam · 2024-06-14T06:31:13+00:00

Just go to SE Asia bro and never marry again.

CRobinsFly · 2024-06-14T06:19:25+00:00

You're not a piece of shit for thinking that.

That's our gynocentric society gaslighting you into believing you should "die" for your kids essentially at the hands of a vindictive babymomma terrorist - just accept your fate as an ATM-slave, bish, at the foot of the golden padussy - why should men have to sacrifice everything just to have a shot at equal custody of their kids? There comes a point when men should realize the battle is just unwinnable, and it is best to just "wash your hands".... you can always make more kids if the mother can't see that having you in your children's life is in the best interest of the child. That is absolutely on her.

This will probably get me downvotes, but being willing to walk away and actually doing it gave me leverage over my ex. Mind you, I do have means and funds - so I just moved 1500mi away when she became unreasonable and after a year of unsuccessful litigation from her, she pleaded with me for a settlement and we settled and I returned (however, it turns out she had no intention of following the settlement and I have now had to reopen litigation against her, but now I have the upper hand, the parenting agreement is binding and she agreed to it... now it's her in the wrong).

While the consequences can be very steep if they can keep up with you... many men do successfully avoid child support or even just make more money such that it doesn't affect them that much.

Reflog1791 · 2024-06-14T05:51:51+00:00

It’s a thought we’ve all had but you’re middle ground of losing the relationships and still paying is not it. It would really just be moving away no return address and work odd jobs forever. I don’t think that’s your best option.

The supervised visits will eventually end. I remember talking to a relative and he thought the allegations would follow him forever. A year later he had a perfectly good parenting plan. I think that is what is going to happen to you.

Just keep being a stand up guy. Dig deep. Get buff and make your life better during this forsaken time. I think there will be a time when your ex has to answer for her lies. Maybe not in court. Very common for these lies to backfire stupendously. The truth has a way of coming out eventually. This shit you are dealing with is why many grandparents have no relationship with their grandchildren. And I’m talking about your ex. What she has done is cruel to your kids and there is a strong likelihood they will be pissed at their mom for her behavior. Even if the ex gets away with this one, she cannot hide her inherent vindictiveness forever and the kids will wise up. Stay strong and hang in there brother.

Title	Fuck it
Author	StreetREV
Upvotes	27
Comments	47
Date	June 14, 2024 5:43 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dfjnf6/fuck_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/fuck-it.1521527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521527

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