TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

CRobinsFly Archive

View 8 posts and 1,504 comments by CRobinsFly on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,504 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Blast through her retainer. Serve rogs. Send rfp. Everything. Divorce is war. You have to use the tools.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 12:19 AM
1

He's a clown because he has no leverage. 40+ women are absolutely desperate and know theyve become undesirable, especially if they have youngish children. These women will send me (38M) likes and message me first on dating apps because theyre just that desperate. 90% or more of them I just ignore, as soon as I see their pictures, I can immediately tell theyre 40+ and immediately feel attraction fading if there was any at all. My first thought is usually "damn, this woman was probably hot 5+ year…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 12:10 AM
2

No problem, PMs on reddit are counterintuitive. You're entering the world of family court where it's essentially the Wild West. Zero accountability for the system, it does exactly what it wants to all of the time and your voice almost has no meaning. Total incompetence is rampant in the system and everyone within it seems to exist to steal your money or to make you give up - after 3 years and numerous orders I have 35% timesharing ordered but am currently on SV and maximum CS. The 7th trial in m…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 04:43 PM
7

You just described half of the women in NM, man, at least the ones I have found here. Buckle up. You're in for a ride. She is gonna file for a Temporary Protective Order/Order of Protection. Prepare your behind. DO NOT BREAK THE TOP. I'm approx 3 years deep into a custody war here and she's spent >100k and as of this moment am on Supervised Visitation because she accused me of molesting my 5yo daughter. Feel free to PM.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 10:41 PM
6

Vasectomy or you arent serious. I say that semi jokingly. I feel exactly like you at 38. I got a vasectomy 4 years ago and have had several women since try to baby trap me and became frustrated when after several months they werent pregnant... but they didnt know those were blanks. 😀
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 06:43 PM
1

I say this from a place of caring and empathy - you need to grow a spine and fight back. Maybe to reframe it a little, you've essentially lost everything already. Fight back!!! That hearing where you took a shitty deal because you were afraid of losing even more? GO TO TRIAL! First thing you need to do here is to modify the PO to get supervised visitation. Is contact with their father in their best interests or not? Of course the opposing party is not going to suggest anything that benefits you …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 12:31 AM
1

Well that sucks man. Was the PO for the ex or the kids too? If it wasnt on the kids, you can and should be able to still get custody. NCIC hits are huge if you have a high trust position/career. Dont agree to shit that your wife asks for. These women always ask for sole custody. Mine did, after we had agreed to a parenting plan that gave me custody, lol. Most states have a rebuttable presumption that involvement by both parents is in the children's best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 11:42 PM
1

Need to read your state laws. Mine specifically says if there is a finding of abuse, the court needs to make findings that the victim is adequately protected. Did the RO/PO get granted? If yes, you now have hits on NCIC which can affect many things.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 11:15 PM
4

You need to interview multiple attorneys and read their reviews. There was a sticky on here about how to pick a good attorney. For me the primary attributes are "do they listen and implement your goals and are they accessible". That said, I have interacted with a total of 6 attorneys on my case (my ex has had 4 and I have had 2) most of the time I have been pro se. I am rehiring my most recent attorney, a woman, because my case has played out almost exactly as she predicted approximately a year …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 06:55 PM
2

I watch/listen to a lot of fundamental philosophy stuff on YT. I happened upon an episode the other day talking about how all primates seem to exhibit "Inequity Aversion". Meaning there is a preference for fairness and resistance to unequal outcomes, even if it comes at a personal cost. So like the chimp would throw a tantrum and throw its cucumber away if it saw the other chimp get a grape. What happens in family court is often deep inequity (ironic because it calls itself a court of equity). I…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 10:41 PM
2

I'm convinced most are actually psychopaths.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 10:33 PM
17

Family law creates men who have nothing to lose every single day. Quite frankly I am surprised that events like this dont happen more often (just live out of spite, guys). Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of that fact that someone who has nothing to lose is basically already dead and therefore essentially has no prohibition to doing things that could lead to their death.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:54 AM
4

Pareto principle. 90/10 is close enough. I got dat snip snip and dont tell them. 🤣 Approximately a year ago one expressed concerns why she wasnt pregnant yet and demanded I see a urologist. Found a reason to cut it off not long after that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 01:00 AM
7

There are a bunch of sayings out there - women will destroy their family for their happiness while men sacrifice their happiness for their family. Or Women will dump the 80% guy (their husband) for the 20% theyre missing and not realize they'll never find someone like that 80% guy again. They rarely admit to having made a mistake (many regret it in secret). To briefly reference my story - post partum (hormonal fluctuations) killed my relationship. On paper I was reasonably desirable and decent t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:45 AM
10

These women's hormones absolutely control them. Tons of marriages and relationships end during menopause or perimenupause, mine did. There was a study recently that showed women literally pick different men to "partner" with on hormonal birth control versus when theyre off it. I would suspect that who they pick during menopause is also similar to who they would pick whilst on birth control - I sure see it - guy my ex replaced me with is definitely soft AF and not masculine at all.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:09 AM
8

Oh boo whoo, I dont give a shit. I got a vasectomy and I dont tell these women so it isnt like I am giving guidance that I myself dont even deploy. You'd be surprised how many will gladly just allow you to nut up in them knowing they might could get a child from it. Do you think they ever clearly said what was going to happen if they pregnant? Most don't. Hint hint, theyre gonna keep it and make you pay for it. On the contrary, do you as a man have any right to force an abortion? No. The rights …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 08:57 PM
20

Bro you won the damn lottery here. Quit your bitchin! I do have some specific advice though that might help you: First, stop tying your self worth to women! Your life is about you and to a lesser extent, your children, congratz on getting significant custody of them. From the other details you conveyed about yourself, youre high value, most of these women come nowhere close to you. Secondly, stop disclosing your vasectomy status to women. Seriously. Let these women who made it to their early 30s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 06:54 PM
1

Some weird typos in there. Anyway, my 2 cents: frame it practically. How much will it cost you to divorce this woman from a financial perspective? Acceptable? Then divorce. Consult with a lawyer to maybe help you understand it. I frame it this way because the property and financial aspects are the only things that effectively escape the marriage contract. You'll still have meaningful access to your kids. Youre already seeing the aspects of a contract that are basically unenforceable to begin wit…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 09:05 PM
1

Nice necro of this thread. 7mo I agree with myself still. Stay realistic.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:24 PM
3

One of the biggest flaws of a litigant is not recognizing that theyre in an adversial system when theyre in custody battle/divorce. As much as it hurts, your ex is not your friend anymore. They'll gut you if you give them the chance. Watch out for your kids and then yourself, like you said. Excellent advice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 03:21 AM
2

Dont accept supervised visitation bro. That'll be the status quo and they'll make you pay for it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 02:40 AM
3

Agreed sir. Go for full to start as the strategy. A mistake I made early on was accepting that I was anything less than a full parent and I had to earn equality. You dont need to prove shit as a parent. Youre their father, last I checked, a father is a parent. Do not hire any attorney that advises you that you will receive less than 50% timesharing if youre capable of it and want it. Go all of the way to trial. Hell even go pro se. You can "lose for free" on your own. These 86/14 splits happen b…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:43 AM
4

Similar to other comments, FB does actually randomly move tabs around on the app. I have personally observed it. Infact, it made my dating tab literally disappear for like a year and a half when I deleted my profile on there to take a break. I was baffled that I couldnt find the dating tab anywhere. Then one day recently it reappeared. That said, just the tab go, man. Pretty much all women have an A-B-C guy at all times, it's a survival mechanism for them. Joke was on us for committing to them a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:51 PM
2

Most definitely. Absurdity at its core. The condom rule of mine came about because one chick I had been with a couple of times invited me over because she had "freshened up for an evening together". Well, let's just say there was evidence I was following up someone's creampie and she continued to demand I use a condom despite both of us testing clean and we'd done it a few times prior.... I wasnt the top dog allowed to go raw so I was done with her after that. Also relevant is that woman I was w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 10:41 PM
2

My strategy is I dont even use my real name. I use a similar name that could easily be framed as "this is my nickname", they wouldnt have a clue and a lot dont even make it to the point whereby them knowing my real name would matter. I'm talking to several right now who dont know. I've been posted on the AWDTSG before because a chick mentioned she tried to run a background check on me and nothing came up and that I seemed like a ghost. Yup. I am not convinced this is anything other than a number…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:59 PM
1

Court Clinic guidelines state it is required for parents who have been less than fully involved. I had to move away for a year at divorce onset due to work so I conceded maybe I needed a little adjustment period to "coming back" and we agreed to that parenting plan with the process while I was gone. The thing is, ex obviously never anticipated that I would actually come back and force her to follow the plan. I did, within 1mo of having agreed to the plan. And when I did come back she stated that…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 03:15 PM
2

The parenting plan contained a step up process to increase my timesharing to 5050 as a "goal". I met thresholds for an increase a year ago. This meant increasing timesharing via the court clinic guidelines (+1 day to the 2 week schedule every 3mo until equal timesharing is reached - almost a direct quote). I clearly asked 9 times for compliance over the course of the year, it became an exhibit the court accepted as evidence. She stalled and essentially broke the plan when she said "I refuse to i…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 01:28 PM
1

Yup. He has said it verbally to me before on more than one occasion. Today's straw broke the camels back and I more or less sent him a demand letter that he put his position in writing so I can actively sue over it. I may even go to the news, too - my state already has serious drama as it relates to PCs since they are framed as intentionally stoking conflict. His finding would be especially pernicious relative to his written finding that mother has an on-again-off-again relationship with a man m…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 05:06 AM
1

I live in a "child" state and the overwhelming feedback I have been given from people is I should just give up and walk away. I recently won 35% TS after 2yr nonstop litigation (ex's bill is probably 100k+) because my parenting plan says I should have 5050. And you know my reward? The court-appointed parenting coordinator has begun imputing speculative impermanence to me and saying that because he thinks I might give up and move away in a year or two, that he wont recommend more parenting time f…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:57 AM
7

I've been litigating incessantly for 5050 timesharing for the previous 24 months. I only recently got 35% TS a couple of months ago after the court ruled they couldnt find her in contempt because our parenting plan was "ambiguous" regarding the timesharing I was supposed to have. It said I was supposed to have 5050. I have zero criminal record. A TS clearance. 840+ credit score. I wfh (or used to - just got laid off). So try again on the because they "want to" or "criminal issues".
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:47 AM
3

Then how about "paying not to parent"? Does that make it better? Bro your son is in the most formative years of his adolescence right now. You need way more custody of him than EOWE. I grew up with an "at most" EOWE dad from age 5 to 18. And from my personal experience, I'd describe it as essentially not having a father.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:38 PM
3

If a father has less than 5050 timesharing, yes, the child's mother is babysitting so dad doesnt have to parent. This is one of the original frames of why child support is "just" and "equitable". The problem is the family court makes it near impossible to change the status quo.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:29 AM
4

Use that as an attack vector for parental alienation. I am personally thankful for these simps who get with single mothers thinking theyre the new dad. Any child psychologist who's worth their salt will speak out against it, I think mine sucks but at least he has specifically condemned mom for using the new man to "replace dad".
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 02:59 AM
8

Fight for 5050. EOWE parent isnt a parent at all, you'll fail your child in the long term having such little parenting time. And then there's the CS, why should you have subsidize your ex's life because she is babysitting your kid? At 5050 she might could be paying you. After Tender Years Doctrine, it'll be a tough battle for your ex to claim >50% timesharing. Ultimately, who cares about the ex. All women are replaceable, just as men are. Who cares about her new boyfriend, be thankful he's wasti…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:06 AM
20

I've found that most women feel pretty similar in the dark.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 06:29 PM
8

If she has genuine burning desire for you, she'd pay for some things. I typically pay for most dates but I do ask for a "cover 20 dollars of this" every once in a while. Since yours doesn't, she's just letting this gravy train run its course. You are definitely being used, gold diggers just vary in their overtness. Since youre considering breaking up with her, might I suggest what I'd do since it will probably lead to a breakup? Just do the bare minimum and stop taking her on dates and spending …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:19 AM
3

It's not going to get better. Let me be real with you - I wanted children too, but the whole experience of now having to deal with a person who's made it her life's mission to delete me as a parent makes me wish I didnt have a child at all, hence my vasectomy. This whole experience has been heartbreaking and was entirely avoidable. To jump into the abortion aspect - I am 4/5 on women I have been intimate with in the last couple of years admitting or outright offering that they had an abortion. S…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 05:07 PM
3

Bro. Do yourself a favor and divorce this woman. What I really keyed in on was the conversation about children never going the way you hoped. You didnt say the specifics but I can speculate in both directions and theyre both terrible: if she wants children now and you don't, youre going to end up with a kid and on max CS. You'll have a legal fight of epic proportions if you find out the kid isnt even yours, since youre married, it's default yours in most states. If you want children and she does…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 04:46 PM
1

Her boyfriend ran their car into mine a year ago at 40mph, and I have a current settlement request with a PI attorney to their insurance company since they were found at fault for the accident. As a background, they got a temp DVRO for 90 days (multiple continuances) against me which restricted contact with our daughter. She didnt even perform the supervised visitation that the court ordered. She got an order to show cause for that. After a half day hearing regarding the DVRO, it was dismissed w…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 03:20 PM
-1

I agree, he was a lil redundant - blonde and dumb. Could have just left it at blonde.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 02:59 PM
2

You need a reframe, man. There is nothing impressive at all about women essentially finding men who will fuck them. At this point that is really all that is being exchanged when she is "successful". These men arent true options for her; this isnt worth being jealous over, she has your children, first of all, that is the greatest gift a woman can give a man even though our society has largely made men pay through the nose for the "privilege". Many of these women incur true emotional damage from m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 12:11 AM
6

That's how they hook you. The good ones always give you a rush like that. I've felt it too, infact I have two chicks currently fueling me. You have to control the uptake though. A lot of the time mistakes are made during this period which are life-long and some personality disorders in women PUSH to trick you during this time. Be careful man. Always watch out for #1.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:44 PM
6

Why are you being so critical of yourself? Have fun, dont get them pregnant and you didnt do anything wrong. Two suggestions: dont spend so much time with them. 10x in 14 days? That's way too much. Should have been like 4x max and you should have had sex each and every time at least once. Second, dont pull from the work pool man. You have to see these crazy women when you make money and they could destroy your life via work. Women her age are my favorite because theyre at the transition point of…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 11:14 PM
8

You need a forensic accountant. She's most likely hidden financial assets from you either in the form of gift cards, cash, etc. Find receipts if you can to review them. For example, did she spend unusually large amounts in places? Like a weekly 500 dollar shopping trip to Kroger/Smiths? She's buying giftcards. Ultimately, sorry man, it sucks when you realize you had been sleeping with the enemy for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 03:26 PM
4

While I do love my daughter very much and she is wanted, I regret having a child with a Western Woman. Never again! The last 4 years of custody war have been literally hell. I got a vasectomy 3.5yr ago and dont regret it at all, 38yo now. As some of the other comments allude to, it's a super power. It really really is. Dont tell women you had it done and watch as they try to trap you. It becomes so obvious once you know that they arent getting pregnant. It's truly comical imo. I had one woman op…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:42 AM
2

I agree about the AI justifications for CS being flat out sickening. My ex is very high income for women. 150k. Her boyfriend lives with her and pays her rent for the privilege, tax free. My CS? 1600/mo. Oh and some of that is daycare which is now free where we are. My ex has blown 100k in atty fees in the last 18mo trying to ensure I never get any more timesharing and stay on max CS. So at least, for now, I've made this very very expensive for her. Meanwhile I am remodeling a house and have an …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 09:13 PM
1

Simply and idiomesque: the source of women's power is men.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 03:42 PM
4

Accept the win of not having had children with this woman, execute the math problem and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 06:59 AM
4

Welcome to the gaslight of modernity: child support is only for mothers. Wrong. File for child support if not to use it to gain leverage. She would 100% do it to you if the situation were reversed. These women wanted this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 10:59 PM
5

Wanted to endorse this well-thought-out comment. This is comprehensive for why wives leave and you should encourage them to. Hell put a proverbial boot in their behind, get your 5050 custody of the kids and move on. Women live in delulu land and think what they saw happen to their fathers they can make happen to you (max CS, you live in a box). False. Fight hard. My custody battle is going on 2.5yr in court and I have all but won, we have a hearing for contempt of my timesharing in 2 months and …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 09:15 PM
5

I follow you around on Reddit to say that I agree with you on almost every point you make. Child support is a massive, massive scam. If the state wouldnt be paying benefits to a mother, a father shouldnt have to, either. Exceptions could be made if he refused to assume 50% parenting time/supply but generally the reverse is true, she withholds parenting time so as to maximize CS.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:21 PM
16

Logically they have to downgrade. It's truly the exception if she was able to get a "better" man after bringing another man's children to a new relationship and a divorce in tow. Most seriously downgrade if theyre able to even find a new man at all. The majority of single mothers I know personally are still single many years later - sure they still have guys who will sleep with them for a few weeks or months but they just get ran through for recreation and admittedly I have participated in that,…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 06:02 PM
3

Youre just putting off the inevitable. Without children, divorces are really just a math problem. That said, if you dont want to go to trial and the other side wants a continuance, why not stipulate to it?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 06:38 PM
1

Hit her with discovery immediately upon service of the motion. Cheap to send as a pro se and most attorneys dont expect it. I credit my discovery fight for OC's exit (they missed RFA and I motioned for Partial Summary Judgement) and basically a total loss for my ex. Throw it into chatgpt to create excellent discovery stupid fast. Feel free to PM me for a sanity check. Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 05:44 PM
2

It's time for contempt. Research the elements of contempt. Despite hundreds of hours of research, I am admittedly still unclear whether it's 3 or 4 elements, it might be caselaw specific for the state. The three primary elements: Clear order. Knowledge of order. Ability to comply. The fourth: willful refusal to comply. Some people might call this "intent". It seems to also be required. It's the fourth that gets most people out of contempt in my jurisdiction, I even found adverse caselaw where fa…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 05:23 PM
2

Bro. I had to dive in here fast. You need to file for a DVRO yesterday. Men are gaslit to think they and their children cant be "abused" by their mother. Your ex's suicide attempt is extreme, she shouldnt have custody under those circumstances. Petition the court for a DVRO injunction, and if the facts that you alleged seem even partially true, it'll be granted. Suicidal parents kill their children and the courts know this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 04:27 PM
5

That's why you go for a simultaneous one on the ex wife. She shouldnt be allowing him to abuse you. I got an RO on my ex's boyfriend. Slam dunked it the hearing and won. Official finding of abuse. He wasnt allowed to come near me for 6mo. However, it didnt change my custody and she retaliated against me by petitioning for an RO against me, which was granted as an injunction and continued 2x for 97 days. She lost once it was heard. My parenting plan needs to be changed now since I regularly have …
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:13 AM
17

Get a couple of recordings, message your ex wife asking it stop. If it doesnt stop immediately, file for a domestic violence restraining order against your ex and the boyfriend. Youre being abused under the definition of the Courts. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT do anything to him or lose your cool as this could be a trap to do to you what I suggested you do to them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:52 AM
3

If the DV shit continues, serve them with a motion for rule 11 sanctions due to frivolous and unfounded claims. Mention that in settlement "talks". Her lawyer will know exactly what youre talking about. The DV court wont give a shit if you actually file it though because "muh vagina" is enough to get a DV injunction - "believe all wahmen!" The DV injunction against me got continued 3x and prevented all contact with my daughter for 97 days. HCBM took the opportunity to make several changes relate…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 01:15 AM
1

Motion for temporary timesharing orders or supervised visitation you both pay for.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:11 AM
3

Man, I feel ya. I got this weird deja vu feeling when I saw your title because I'm currently in the same boat (have a full evidentiary hearing in 90 days for contempt of my timesharing but I am getting most of the relief I want, I am leaning towards settling). Having filed for contempt 4 times now in my case, I've come to understand it well. That said, pass your position through AI and ask it whether your case and circumstance has the elements necessary for civil contempt as established by casel…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 12:57 AM
3

The best defense is a good offense. Men lose because they are always responding & refuting. The court doesnt care for the most part, I have found. These women and especially their attorneys have a play book for how to attack men - I legitimately think opposing counsel actually gets confused about the facts and who I an amongst all of her other clients' OPs. Fire back, brothers, it works.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 05:18 PM
3

You need to reframe your perspective, which I think you notice. Your children are important and can/should be a major part of your life, but you still have to keep your needs in mind. Breaks away from your children are important so you can keep your life on track, whether it's so you can date, take vacations, work more, etc. Truly single mothers, when they will complain about being SMs, frequently mention they have no freetime and it is usually because they have withholding their kids from the o…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 04:32 AM
2

OP. This. 100% this. Listen to me, OP, I'm only a couple of years older than you and several years out from "divorce" - this woman is giving you the greatest gift ever, leaving without kids. I guess I am one of those bitter guys but damn if getting divorced without kids aint like a normal breakup. You are lucky. Meanwhile her fertility clock is near used up and she's leaving to find the streets are cold AF.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 11:29 PM
4

100% this. OP, you are on the right track. Do not. I repeat! DO NOT do ANYTHING thay could be spun as you violating the injunction. After spending hundreds of hours reading posts from others, as well as experiencing an injunction for 97 days myself (continued 2x!!! Later dismissed), I am completely convinced that the injunction is really just a trap/extra-judicial examination of your character. It's meant to piss you off. It's meant to stress you out. It's MEANT to make you break it. DO NOT VIOL…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 12:07 AM
1

I wasnt cheated on. And a man can have their vasectomy reversed at a later date if they choose to have children with someone. I would never. This approximates just deciding to stop taking the pill from the women's side. A person's fertility decisions are entirely their own. Do women announce there is a 50% chance theyre going to leave you and demand child support while they're pursuing a pregnancy? I've never encountered that, meanwhile they willingly get nutted in raw as if that's some implicit…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:52 AM
0

Lol. And how about if they fall pregnant after youre snipped? Your family plans are your own.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:43 AM
-3

Yeah man. Dont tell them. I have several women in my past who 100% wouldnt have been with me if they knew I was snipped. Hate to tell you but it's probably over with this chick. Yes it will sting, but frame it this way: if this is an impasse for her, she never really liked you anyway and was just using you to have children which is like winning an annuity. Youre missing out on the pain that was ahead when she decided that she had enough children and enough of you - like my ex did. And remember t…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:37 AM
1

You let her know!?!?
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:52 AM
1

If you havent already gotten a vasectomy.... shoot.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:27 AM
3

He may have been referring to alimony. To my knowledge, CS has never been deductible.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 07:26 PM
3

Yup. It's insane. I count my lucky stars every day that my CS is ONLY 1600/mo for 1 kid. They imputed my income from the limited information I provided and put me on a "visitation only" CS schedule even though I am supposed to have our kid at least 35% of the time - ex has lost approximately 80k$ in the last 18mo fighting it and we have a hearing for contempt in January. Mind you, also, that CS is being paid to a woman who makes 140k and is also claiming deductions for children, daycare (that wa…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 07:20 PM
6

It's all just a big scam. On another topic, this made me realize that the tax code should also be updated to make CS deductible for the parent that pays (it's calculated from your gross after all) and taxable for the recipient since theyre likely double deducting too (get to claim child tax credit, etc). Or at least have proportional deductions - 5050 TS? 50% tax credits/deductions for the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:34 PM
4

Ignoring the order to retest is contempt. File for it. All of the elements are there from what you've said.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 09:48 PM
2

Lol. Definitely not. Use a burner/throwaway.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 12:01 AM
11

Not trying to be rude, but you'd probably get more constructive feedback if you posted this circumstance in Divorce Women sub. Swap the genders of course. Most of the men here have not been in anything close to your situation. That said, absent an error of law, your ex will lose the appeal. Too bad. So sad. Why she just doesnt suck it up and pay 5yr of alimony and move on is beyond me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 05:35 AM
3

Gotta smash. Dont put a baby in it. You'll feel better. Now for the biased side of me. Many many women are full on predatory and they prey on divorced men because they perceive you as emotionally vulnerable, because you are. I have found many wont even date me once they found out I have already been fleeced for resources (CS). Anyway, always remember, most women have 5 to 10 years of dating and manipulation experience on their same-age male peers. Men are behind the 8ball and women know it. Be c…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 02:26 AM
17

I'd sue anyway, just to have it on record that you are the sole legal custodian.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:24 PM
6

Which part? Second marriages fail at a high rate. Even higher for third and so on. If youre a man of means, aka you make bank, you are absolutely being targetted by women to fleece you for child support. Happened to me. >50% chance if you have a child with a Western Woman, you will owe child support at some point before that child is 18. It might even be >75% nowadays. And you think you have rights to your child? Think again, unless you have money and time, expect to fight for years in court - I…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 04:06 AM
13

Having children with a Western Woman would be an enormous mistake for you considering your history and perspectives. I wouldnt worry about women wanting you, many will gladly take you in as a step dummy to their pre-made family. Men's value (relative to their female peers) generally goes up at 35 whilst women's plummets.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 12:30 AM
7

Dump this broad. She's at the wall, with your half of the wealth, you can do so much better than her. It'd be horrific if she magically fell pregnant, prevent that at all costs.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 10:49 PM
3

100%. Why would you? They have no right to know your medical history and your body, your choice.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 02:51 PM
3

Not at all. After the fact, I have found it hilarious how overt at-wall women are in their attempt to babytrap. Too bad they dont know those are blanks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:28 AM
3

A lot of factors go into it. Generally though, 90% chance they can be reversed successfully.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 03:25 AM
4

Document it and next time it occurs, file. Stalking is a pattern of behavior so you need >1 instance. I successfully got an RO on my ex's boyfriend after I filmed them driving by my properties and taking pictures twice. He also routinely participated in custody exchanges by approaching my vehicle even after I requested he stay in the car and leave me alone.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 09:58 PM
5

Is she also 38? Planning for a kid? If she is, lmfao! She's choosing childlessness by leaving you. Definitely let her go!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 06:45 PM
2

Once upon a time, I had your perspective. "She isnt cheating". Let me tell you, years out of it - hahaha (sad laugh) - she's most likely cheating. Mine found a boyfriend to move into her place practically weeks after she booted me. I realize men are thirsty, but that pathetically? Nah, he was there towards the end. She vehemently denied it when I confronted her about it years ago. She was cheating and he was the monkey branch she grabbed, he came through because he's a big time loser (has never …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 03:26 AM
5

Like youre saying, paying nothing at all shows willfulness. Defeat that element of contempt by putting it into a not absolutely certain light: pay something, anything.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 04:37 PM
2

Hard advice brother. 37M. Marriage is generally trash, it's a stupid institution for men nowadays all it does is amplify how much you can lose when a woman inevitably grows "unhappy". You can have a family outside of it very easily - I do - my family still got destroyed though by her becoming "unhappy". While I love my now 4yo daughter very much and have changed my entire life around to be with her, I never want to try this again and I got a vasectomy at 35. No more kids for me. That's not to sa…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:22 AM
2

The puss pass certainly wins DVRO injunctions. I frequently joke that women could put "I have a vagina" on a DVRO petition and an injunction will be granted. My ex got one against me as clearly retaliatory for me getting one on her boyfriend. Her petition was literally describing how they had in fact abused me. I actually won the hearing and they lost theirs... but they still took my kid away for 90 days. Oh and one of the continuances was granted because her attorney (another woman) was getting…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 03:08 AM
1

Absolutely not. I'd die on that hill. Get ROFR too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:12 PM
1

Assumption, yes - may also be basically common-law married in some states and definitely in Canada. However, it is possible that OP is infact unmarried (I'm a regular here and was never married...) If you were married OP, this comment is correct and due to the income disparity, you will likely be responsible for her legal bills as well. Crummy situation, you're being basically preying mantis'd - these new mothers will start fights for no reason and then blame you - exact thing happened to me. My…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 09:10 PM
2

💯 I havent been on a date for a year at this point. When I was dating, I kept a file on every woman who could possibly make a weird accusation. For the final woman I was with, she got weird and said something along the lines of "if we have sex and I dont like it, I might have to consider it SA". I told her how offputting that was considering the current climate and I ended up leaving her place without having sex. She texted me a few hours later and basically apologized and said she saw how I cou…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 07:39 PM
2

Okay brother. Deep breath. You will get through this. DVRO injunctions are traps. Theyre a psych test to see if you can control yourself. The initial injunction is basically always granted because vagina. They are meant to make you angry and for you to violate the injunction (which is an actual crime you can go to jail for). Under no circumstances should you violate the injunction. Again, please do not violate the injunction in any way, eventually it will end. Behave at all costs, even if it mea…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 03:41 AM
3

Agreed. Since he has legal representation though, it isnt worth going for sanctions due to slander/basic lies. I (whilst still pro se) filed a motion for Civil Rule 11 sanctions on the silver bullet that was filed on me, her attorney responded to the multiple papers and ultimately she lost the DVRO injunction... so it cost her thousands to lie... I dont have to pay my atty to file those papers. My point here is ultimately the topic here is DV, as a person with a penis, youre just wrong. Even if …
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 03:32 AM
2

To be fair sir, and I know and remember your story well: your ex wife is a real piece of work. It'd be silly to have hired a lawyer to kick her ass. Pro se was the way to go - rapid attack capable and invested in the outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 01:45 AM
4

Perhaps a good outlet is to start building your argument using chatgpt? I'm historically pro se but I did hire an atty earlier this year to defeat a DVRO - I also started using chatgpt around that time. You know what I found? Chatgpt was better than my 20yr experienced lawyer, corrected many of the illogical arguments in her papers for me before I approved them - I recently fired this lawyer and am going pro se again for contempt. For full disclosure, I did fire the atty because she got under my…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 09:45 PM
2

Yeah I feel no empathy for these men that literally stand in the way of fathers having more time with their children. My ex literally sends her boyfriend to pickup our kid from daycare on her behalf even though they both know I am fully available and willing to do it. If I were him (and he's a father with limited custody of his kids) I'd tell her to kick rocks and let the kid's dad have them more....
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 08:24 PM
3

Same. The trauma from just fighting over custody and CS for 1 child made me realize I never ever want to experience this again. I also get a laugh when women let me roar raw and they think they might be scoring CS off me... ma'am those were blanks... but I dont tell them that. 🤫
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 10:10 PM
7

Congratz on scoring younger but barf on her being a 2x sm. She is looking to put a second man on child support. Single mothers are extremely dangerous for this reason. You are willingly signing up to swim where another man has drowned. Me personally? Keep SM always at arms length. Dont give them more children. Dont let them move in. Enjoy the ride. Make sure another man is legally responsible for their children.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 09:33 PM
13

At least most of the expenses for the teenagers are behind you. Silver lining. It seems weird to say, but it is super hard for men to admit who is supposed to be their closest ally is actually one of their greatest enemies - once they have contempt, there's no going back. You need to start protecting yourself sir. Keep up appearances but be planning to get divorced. I can practically guarantee your wife is already planning it, but without another branch to grab (read: dick to grab) they rarely j…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 11:00 PM
8

I dont disagree with what you said at all. Eventually we have to get over it though and "move on". As unhealthy as it may be, I've rewritten history myself and framed it all as basically being manipulated and used to achieve her life goals.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 07:49 PM
2

Completely agree that it is a trap. Make them order this type of evaluation if they really want it.... and if they do, make sure they get the same type of evaluation by a third party.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 10:39 PM
3

Just dont tell the new ladies that youre snipped. More powerful with them not knowing those are blanks.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 02:12 PM
1

That's about the cutoff that I would say dont bother considering his response.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 11:16 PM
1

I was also intrigued by his assertion because it seemed false. I carefully worded a research question to chatgpt and it responded that his claims are wrong. Remarriage (to the same partner that you just divorced) refail 70% of the time. Essentially it is just like getting married to a stranger the second time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 08:56 PM
16

At its core, this is precisely the reason why promiscuous women simply cannot be wifed up after they have more than a couple bodies - every subsequent man is compared against the best man in that area. So, in her mind, she essentially has the image of the perfect man who is all of the best attributes of her exes, the easiest one being the size and how they wielded their pecker. They become damaged beyond repair after a certain point and I've been burned thinking I could fix them. Your friend sho…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 08:05 PM
2

Hey, jumping in on this thread. Since you're pro se(and I have similar experience there), file a motion for an order to show cause regarding the unilateral enrollment in a private school. If she cant demonstrate you both agreed to it, that's contempt. To generate evidence, consider asking her to disenroll from the private school citing your concerns, if she goes nuclear and you never actually agreed, she is digging herself into a hole fast. Have AI help you, contempt is very technical and all el…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 02:28 AM
1

Snail mail and manually printing things is the way. Print some double sided, others single sided. Some upside down. Bonus points for coffee stains and it being generally disorganized. "It's all there. Just as you asked."
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 07:17 AM
3

That can easily be framed as harassment.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 07:02 AM
2

Baring some requirements to allow a call, I'd just reject all calls from her that are not an emergency/not scheduled. If she tries to spin this as you "alienating her", I'd just frame it as "well this is what happens when families split - you get your parenting time and I get mine, stop interrupting my time". Almost guaranteed she is screen recording the calls looking for things to try to nail you for.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 07:00 AM
4

What does your parenting plan say? My ex was using daily calls during my parenting time to essentially spy on me whilst simultaneously suppressing my parenting time to below the "standard order" of some states. She testified during a hearing about what she saw in the video calls - it was petty and stupid whining on her part that the judge gave zero shits about. After that hearing, I sent her lawyer a letter, "In accordance with our parenting plan, I am open to video calls. However, this does not…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 06:56 AM
13

Men are in love and women are in business. -Coach Greg Adams
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 04:30 PM
6

Married buddy sent me this article on his own volition a few days ago pretty much with the same tagline "funny how when there aren't any cash and prizes, there isn't any reason to get divorced anymore!"
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 05:41 AM
3

Sorry man. I had a close call like this where my ex was going for a DVRO not caring if it ruined my life. Fortunately, she didn't get it. However, her piece of shit lawyer did get it continued frivolously (one of the reasons was so her attorney could get married that weekend, no joke). These continuances made the injunction last for 90 days, so in a way it was as if I was under it for 90 days. Anyway, I did learn a lot about the process as I ruminatinated about it. If I may offer some suggestion…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:32 AM
2

Terrance Popp mentioned on one of his live streams he knew of a guy who was making 6 figures in the 90s but got divorce graped to kingdom come and basically decided to flip the bird to the system and become homeless and not pay, they already werent letting him see his kids so he was like "what do I have to lose". This guy quickly reached a felony level of back child support/alimony, was quickly found in contempt and therefore basically always had a warrant out for his arrest - so every winter he…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 05:18 AM
3

Fortunately, since this is a narrow issue, the paperwork is limited. She's just missing a final element here for contempt- willfulness. You can establish that by sending a demand to cure: demonstrate she has awareness of the order, cite the requirement of the order, show a screenshot of the removal, request the cure of the deficient condition. Say you give her like 72 hours to respond or you will consider the issue ignored/willful Then just write the motion, serve it and all that. Judges hate co…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 01:20 AM
5

Also, first send her a demand to cure letter then consider filing a motion for an order to show cause (contempt). Gutting financial accounts like this is a violation of the temporary domestic order on the case which is obviously a court order.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 11:34 PM
5

Realize that ALL relationships are temporary and therefore you should just enjoy them while they last. To reveal some bitterness earned through hard knocks - I will NEVER be in a relationship with a woman again whereby she has significant leverage of any type over me - because I am shooting blanks and I will never let her move in. You cant behave and exist within my frame under my constraints? Okay, bye. I feel nothing about potentially preventing a woman from having a family/children because I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 12:45 AM
3

Definitely dont have a kid with her! She's let herself go now that she has the pin from the fat grenade on her finger... after children it will be equivalent to a MOAB in that realm. Pun intended.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 07:27 PM
2

💯 The formula for women to remain attractive to men is quite simple and I argue trivial: never let yourself go. The formula for men to remain attractive and desired is significantly more complex but can be simplified as: always be improving. Women will often divorce because of just the feeling that they might could do better. Often, they dont. I do however have a compromise suggestion for OP, because I am a nice guy, ladies, (lol) and dont think men should just blow up relationships without havi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 07:16 PM
13

Can sleep in the same bed as your enemy for years and not even know it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 10:14 PM
2

There's a saying specifically about this phenomenon youre describing: "single women keep other women single" and "ask the fishermen not the fish [about how to fish]" Men are your customers. Pleasant chatting with you; you'll be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 07:34 PM
2

That changes things then. Your ex may in fact be a narc/sociopath and the whole situation sounds traumatizing. Legit shame you had to experience it all at once. You sound like a good, caring mother. Many men will appreciate that. You're going to be fine. Being that you were brave enough to post here, seemingly open to accept some game, here's what I would do, knowing what I know, if I were in your position: study the reasons why men do not date single mothers (youtube is full of these videos, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 06:29 PM
2

There is a name for what has been done to us, the "preying mantis". As unpopular as it may be, I strongly recommend getting a vasectomy and keeping it secret. After 30, most women are looking to score a kid off of men, some are more obvious about it than others. You'll really notice it after you get snipped. 37 here, 4yo daughter, ex is 40. It will be both of ours only child. Been in court heavily for the last 18mo, it has been horrific. This all started 3yr ago during her post partum depression…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 06:00 PM
2

Okay? It isnt always about money. My ex has been with a guy who makes 25% what I do for longer than she was even with me - she's already in the 6 figures and didnt need his money. This other guy is essentially her errand boy ("they want help") - taking our kid to daycare for her, working on her house, etc. She gets services from him that I refused to do as I was clearly the bread winner and worked a far more demanding job. I never cheated on her or anything, it was nearly a year before I slept w…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 05:43 PM
2

It's always an arrangement of some type that you dont know the complete set of terms to, including the duration. Overtime, as you lose leverage and she gains it, you discover terms that were there all along. In my case, it was all to just get a kid and bounce - score, he owes me for the next 18yr and I don't need him anymore and new men will take me - many women do this. There are women who just want something casual (fwb) and that's totally cool. I've entertained a few since, but all of them ha…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 04:14 PM
2

We're always a form of utility to them, and you've succinctly mentioned the reasons why. Single mothers aren't looking for love, they're looking for help.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:51 PM
1

Agree. Fantastic idea. Tiny critique though - tell wife nothing about this plan or even the job change. Imo most can easily get away with this as wives dont actually care what their man-slave is doing, just as long as he is going and supposedly making money. Keep the same schedule even if it means disappearing to go play golf etc.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 08:10 PM
3

"Send nudes"
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 01:06 AM
7

I mean, it's pretty close to all of them that have issues and major emotional baggage, even the widows (because losing the father of your children is in fact traumatizing). And conversely, these women chose to have children with an abuser or a bad man if you believe them... no, the problem was most likely them and theyre extremely selfish as they got rid of their kid's father who is an essential figure for the children to grow up properly. Not disagreeing with you though. I've pounded out single…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:03 PM
13

This is simply the marriage wheel in action. I wanted to comment regarding the third man. While I have empathy for him and think he shouldnt have deployed a permanent solution to a temporary problem: I absolutely despise how our culture glorifies "step fathers". Why on earth do men think oh let me swim where another man has drowned (lost his kids) and expect a separate outcome. Only men of extremely low self esteem and worth do this and end up losing everything many times over it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 08:48 PM
6

Unless she is filthy rich and is willing to leave you a massive chunk in a prenuptial agreement, why would you ever risk getting married again? Each additional marriage has a higher likelihood of failure. On and like other comments point out, make sure youre not already married via common law.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 08:39 PM
4

You ever see the bumper sticker: "divorce your Republican husband"? I've got one better: "don't marry your Democrat girlfriend" Problem averted.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 08:37 PM
1

Stop tying your self worth to women. The fact that youre doing this is the root of most of your problems with women.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:37 AM
3

Almost 8yr later and I still consistently think of a borderline I was into. Liked her more (magnitude-wise) than my ex/child's mother that I met immediately after her. Best sex and most fun by far out of all of my partners. She's also the only woman from my past that consistently tries to reconnect about every year around Christmas of course offering a hook up and NSA sex an obvious borderline snare. I havent seen her since, because she's patently toxic so I either ignore her or ask for nudes. I…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 04:38 AM
1

Without a doubt. If they are single for any reason after 35, there is something seriously wrong with them mentally. Borderlines sure are fun but they will wreck your life if you let them.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 04:22 AM
1

It's honestly a bad spot to be in, many men, including myself have been in it (I had a frivolous TPO get continued for 90 days only to get dismissed). DV court is a game and a trap, the goal is to get you to violate it and then they can really screw you. The key is to remain cool and calm, bide your time, there isn't much else you can really do.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:30 PM
1

He shouldn't come to that conclusion. Homeless children are not safe. A parent without a home is unstable parent and not fit for custody. I would file for ex parte temporary full custody considering the circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:46 PM
3

Go for sole custody and CS. Indifference is what you should feel for your child's mother. Her struggles are 100% not your problem and definitely shouldn't be your son's problem, either. She had a responsibility to your child and she is failing that. Yes, it is that simple.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:19 PM
15

Usually theyre bringing a lot of unresolved trauma, emotional baggage and another man's children. Pass to all.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 03:41 AM
19

Women choose men, we've always been the prize due to our functionality that we offer. Unfortunately, it takes men until about 40 to realize their value. After about 40, most men are just done and dont care enough anymore. This causes the well of candidates to seriously dry up for women of the same age, their normal methods of emotionally manipulating dont work as well anymore because men dont invest or care. They still give up the cheeks though, easier than ever in my experience. Men have little…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 10:13 PM
10

Women with bpd are like metastasizing cancer in the long term. Like someone else mentioned, this is how people get killed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 01:58 PM
2

It's eye-opening when you begin seeing women with dogs as having the single mother intro kit. Yours just bought hers late.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 12:27 AM
2

The exceptions unfortunately prove the rule. Widows and actual domestic violence victims are not the norm by far. I will also victim blame a little bit in that I am going to assert these abused women chose these men and had children with them, they are in fact partially to blame for their circumstances. I noticed youre making a similar argument and in that I don't disagree. And, too, for example, if you solely consider my ex's side of the story, I am an abuser even though her petition for a rest…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 08:53 PM
1

Definitely keep a journal and document those statements. They're intentionally creating/stoking conflict between the children's parents which is not in the best interest of the children. In a future custody lawsuit, she will likely be penalized as a result - wait until they break up and you can flip this back on them by subpoenaing her boyfriend as a witness, lol. You'll get the last laugh here bro, stay strong. 💪
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:57 PM
2

It's a problem created by white knights, men who think they can just step in and "step up" to a dad role when the actual father is around and willing. A divorced mother should have sole and complete control over her children without him, many say they "dont need a man" after all. In an optimum scenario, the white knight should defer any discipline problems to the mother, since that's her responsibility to manage without him. Many actually enforce this boundary and it causes their relationship to…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:37 PM
8

Once again, here here from me on agreement. This simp enforcer like pretty much all of them is a loser. Only men of the lowest value thresholds go for (commit to) single mothers and their children; he's committing his resources to children that arent his and ultimately he will have no rights to his portion of the investment in them. He's also following up the children's father, essentially a willing cuck. These guys and the corresponding single mothers get a rise out of basically annoying their …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 05:19 PM
1

Per month? Shoot I wish I were making 150k/mo. I'm not making that. 20% is the rule of thumb for the calculated support changes; "if the estimated support at the new income level is now greater than +/-20% of the previous value, bring the case, otherwise, we wont hear it". I havent looked hard for the rule that invokes that, theyre also good for at least a year in my state - I have seen the rule that says you cannot request financials until a year has passed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:17 AM
2

Scopes in for me: time to get a lawyer and sue. Youre now accruing daycare expenses, this changes the child support calc, or it would where I am. There's active alienation occurring with the child calling the new AP daddy. She shouldn't be the primary custodian from what you've said. See about getting a parenting coordinator/child psychologist appointed, they should be able to find these issues and make recommendations to the court.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 01:28 AM
1

Equal timesharing? I am expecting to land in a similar area as you once I get to 5050.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 12:27 AM
1

Your child support will go up if you get a substantial promotion - typically 20% - as it constitutes a change of circumstances. I'm high income. Ahem, court thinks my income is 140k/yr, same as her mother. I pay 1.5k/mo for 1 child. I have 27% overnights. Should have 35% and am actively suing for contempt, parenting plan is supposed to get me to 5050. At equal timesharing my ex is under the belief that my CS will drop to zero or go negative (they used income numbers from when I was living 1kmi a…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 12:26 AM
2

That was a fascinating read about Michael Reuschel. While I think the verdict from the jury was correct, this man certainly suffered under the abuse of his wife for years. He could have crushed her at least once with his own Silver Bullet and he refused. One of the key points that didnt add up for me was the wrist wound. She claimed it happened about 5hr prior to when the police showed up, forensics insisted that if that were true, she'd have died. I think they staged it and Michael took it a li…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 12:02 AM
11

Healing does come in time. I know it's annoying because "dammit, I want that time to be now". It'll come. I skimmed the other comments, they're very good. I have a few things to add. 1. Your life is about you, it always will be. It's now also about your children in a varying degree. Yes, youre always a father, but youre only really a daddy probably half time or less - same goes for the inverse wrt your ex - I joke that it is hilarious to me that so many of them choose to become part time moms, a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 11:20 PM
1

I think OP's case is one of the few instances when a GAL may be helpful for a man. If this woman really is gone this much, she has a lot of chaos around her schedule and that isnt good for children, I think GALs have an especially strong bias to maintain the status quo if there isnt any smoking gun for initiate changes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 03:02 AM
4

It's even worse when they twist "their truth" into pursuing a restraining order because you hurt their feelings. Smh. Delusion runs deep with some folks.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 02:56 AM
2

Not disagreeing but rather suggesting to turn defense againsg outright lies into an attack via sanctions motion. The best defense is a good offense. Civil rule 11 or the equivalent in the state. I know I always say this in here and every attorney I have talked to has said, "yeah, good luck with that" or at best "that is not out of the question". But attorneys have a duty to perform a reasonable investigation into the facts, theyre failing their ethical duty of candor with the tribunal if theyre …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 02:51 AM
2

I'm regularly accused of being excessively mean in this war that is divorce, but I am seeing plenty of evidence to obtain a restraining order here. You'd get one, ask for it, put your kids on it. Silverbullet her azz.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 06:07 PM
2

This is just too good as I am replying to myself! Contrast: Men: tends to center on functional challenges (fitness, career burnout, personal productivity) and tends to be pragmatic. Women: more emotionally geared, narrative-driven, reflecting on emotional labor, self-worth, and relationship complexities. They also include lifestyle topics like fashion or body image as intrinsic to identity. Even chatgpt is saying men focus on objective extrinsicly-clear success while women focus on imagining the…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 06:00 PM
2

Shoot I want to throw the comparison into chatgpt now! I did it and it's cracking me up!!! Check out these representative posts: Men: "how fit are you in your 40s compared to 30s... sweat more... cardio makes me feel 20 years older." Women: "anyone else feel like life has passed them by and it's just too late?" It even threw in this representative post from WomenDatingOverForty: "Men measure women's suffering as commitment... he does not like you." I'm crying!!! 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 05:53 PM
1

Concur with this in full as it is my situation. Start at 5050. You MUST.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 07:15 PM
11

This is probably the best advice. OP. You arent going to bring her back. You shouldn't want her back, do you want to follow up this other guy? Sloppy seconds on your kids mom after she's been ran through by countless more men? This other guy is absolutely doing you a favor if he spends his resources on your kids and doesn't abuse them, plus it distracts her so she cant pester you. 5050 custody and your ex with a less-valuable man? Big time L for her. She's lucky she can even find anyone. I perso…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 07:03 PM
3

There's a longstanding idiom that goes with this: he gets married thinking she wont change, she gets married thinking he will. Inevitably both are disappointed.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 04:56 PM
1

Haha. I wish.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 03:33 PM
14

If there's any place ever to spend legal dollars, it's on this. You're most likely going to jail and because this is an emergency protective order, the DA could increase the charges. Youre not going to like this, but because this was DV in front of children, your hope of custody in the short to medium term is zilch and you most likely just lost the divorce, too. We're all just sharing women. It's actually a blessing if they have an affair, as it distracts them and makes them willing to concede c…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 03:20 PM
4

Honestly the hiring Chad idea is probably the best and most effective solution to this and it should work, too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:50 PM
17

I briefly looked into this when I got silverbulleted, which in the end, didnt work. I came to the following conclusions assuming I didnt want to risk immediate arrest upon returning to the US under my passport: 1. You would need to establish citizenship in another, non-Hague country, so basically Africa and SE Asia 2. The barriers to establishing citizenship vary widely, including the waiting periods I saw 5yr continuous residency and substantial investment as required in a few places. 3. After …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:40 PM
2

Aggressive tactics. Generally: those that are non-compliant with "rules" in some instances. He correctly identifies that most rules are poorly enforced. They are poorly enforced. Enforcement is very very poor in my experience, most attorneys wont even bother with enforcement of a rule. Judges only seem to enforce rules if it enables them to do as little as possible. An example from me was the striking one of my motions, showing the judge why a ruling was not inline with caselaw because I attache…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 07:14 PM
1

PK's insights are factual and accurate in my experience; he's a staple in this sub. I actually like that some of what he suggests is effective and in a morally gray area. Divorce is war and PK knows what's up.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 06:58 PM
4

CGA: "men are in love, women are in business". When you look back on it, the whole execution of the dating and then destruction of the marriage looks like a business plan for women. CGA has also coined this "The Marriage Wheel". Never get back on to completion. Recognize when youre on it and protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 03:21 AM
1

Brother, you have it made. You're basically a housewife despite the approx 6 figure income you allude to. You're probably owed lifetime alimony. I say this somewhat in jest, but maybe lurking in divorce women is a better place for this post? Okay now I am serious: throw this into chat GPT and have it switch the gender roles and watch what women over there say. Okay, brass tacks: your ex says she isnt going to screw you in mediation because she is absolutely on the chopping block. She knows it. S…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 01:44 AM
2

I am fully aligned with you in logic and in spirit. People paint us as heartless because for us, there exists such a point that we can say "well, I tried my best for my child". If the Court so orders us to be a second class parent, "well I guess that's it then"! For me, this actually motivates me to fight even harder because some day I can always point to a mountain of literal effort I put into the child. And, fortunately our children are still young, so the fight is worth it. Keep your chin up …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 02:48 AM
10

I think you have a solid handle on what's going on. And how's this for some positive advice: I think you'll be fine and this is the correct answer given your story, it's certainly what I'd do. In the last 10mo I have had two trials and "won" both as a pro se and then with an attorney on retainer (ex tried to silver bullet me, didnt work - so she's 50k deep on legal fees, meanwhile I've spent like 7k). At the 10kft level, women beat men in divorce/custody largely because men accept bad deals in m…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:51 AM
2

Oh yeah, she'll lose hard on those aspects. Definitely motion for attorneys fees if she brings you in due to her unemployment.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 01:27 AM
3

Anecdotal and general but many men here have stated that layoffs havent helped them reduce their owed CS. It probably wont help you either but rather could make it worse. That said, your current order stands. She needs to obtain a new order to get you to pay more. She'll need to sue for that. Arguments opposed to the new order would be pretty strong - how or why shouldn't she be expected to return to work? If she is incapable of supporting herself with a job, why should she even have custody of …
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 06:30 PM
1

Could be splitting 50% of a 401k....
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:17 AM
6

This is a good comment. OP. Chill out man. What happened to you has happened to most of us. If what you say is true (I think it is) youre not going to be relegated to a two weekend a month father. Just dont lose your cool. If you do anything that could be construed as abuse: if you think youre mad now, just wait until a sheriff serves you a temporary restraining order/order of protection full of lies and extreme exaggerations which can be used to prevent you from seeing your kids for at least a …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 05:41 AM
5

The easy counter to that is: if it's so amicable, why not just pay her the CS according to the state formula and if she doesnt want the money, she can give it back?... She won't, watch. From what you've said, there is a high likelihood she will owe you CS in a year or so once she is making more. She wants to pretend to do you a favor (in the short term) hoping you will not care and basically return the favor in the long term. Your services as a daycare provider, what most women see their childre…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 09:08 PM
1

What were the prompts you asked ChatGPT?
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 07:25 PM
1

They obtained a frivolous Temp OP on me for 90 days (got it continued twice) I was ordered to have sup visits in there and none occurred because she wouldnt bring our daughter. That ended 20 days ago. My 4yo daughter called me an abuser last week when I was taking her fishing. "Mommy says you are". Our daughter doesnt know what she is saying because she still routinely says she loves me very much. She also said that her mother said she was never going to see me again during the TRO and she neede…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:58 PM
8

Many are completely ignorant and even going through it still dont necessarily understand it; to be fair, many men dont get it either and accept terrible deals and lose because of that reason, not having even gone to trial. Especially custody of children stuff - you dont automatically have sole custody and get CS just because you have a vagina. My advice is to shut up about this and get a divorce. No matter what anyone says to the contrary, this person is your adversary in this war. Information t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 03:47 AM
2

If they dont have a full body shot: you know why. Don't even bother with them. Women's trade in the sexual marketplace is their looks/beauty and weight is an enormous part of that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 08:54 PM
3

This is an excellent list that I will cosign as having personally observed and am in the midst of. Thanks for posting.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 02:54 PM
1

I got thrown into the bathtub as an approximately 8yo by my mother's boyfriend of a couple years. His reason was he was mad that I was refusing to take a bath (now as an adult: presumably because he wanted to bang my mom or something and I was in the way of it). Told my dad about it and he got CPS involved, they interviewed everyone, never saw that boyfriend again. Neither parent ever mentioned what ultimately happened but I also didnt ask. It's truly sad how pervasive abuse by stepfathers is bu…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 05:07 PM
1

Yes and keep in mind those stats are a blend of mostly step fathers who had no prior history of abuse. The already-identified abusers/predators though? I'd say 75% chance they do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 04:28 PM
2

Oh no sir, do not misunderstand me: this man shouldn't be around your young daughter. My statement was merely to identify a pseudo reasonable argument to present to any layman who challenges you. He probably didnt do any such treatment, nor will he.... it may be enough to scare him off if you demand just that standard. While society has devalued us, we're still the protectors of our children. You have my blessing - I've done similar things - see my PO against my 4yo daughter's step dad. Should s…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 03:34 AM
9

I'd 100% be opening up a lawsuit for a custody change over this if I were you. Maybe even a temporary restraining order for full custody of your kid. I got a full protective order against my child's step father due to some property damage he did to me as well as battery of a minor child a year ago. This man should be required to demonstrate he has undergone the required treatment/program normally prescribed for sex offenders - which he is - before he is allowed extensive access to your young dau…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 02:02 AM
5

I was obviously making a summary of what you said but okay. You did make a "be a man" argument, and did again here ("wanna be a beta and whine") but I guess we're done talking about it. 👍
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 07:16 PM
5

Alright, excellent. I did read your post again and thought it was possible you may already have 100% custody and adult children. Glad you all are safe from that toxicity!
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 07:02 PM
3

"Be a real man" F off.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 06:54 PM
6

Golden opportunity right here and now, sir. Take out a temporary protective order against him and the ex immediately. Get custody of your kids. Your children are being exposed to hazardous DV conditions, you should have sole custody for now. An arrest is significant. Keep in mind this will escalate conflict, but it's what I would do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 06:52 PM
2

You can play process server games, it does work if being served doesnt serve your needs at the moment. I've done it. Ex has done it. It isn't illegal. In retrospect, I wish I'd have done it harder. One lawsuit I pushed all the way until they did "for publication". If she cant get you served, actions against you do not progress and she will need extensions and stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 02:01 AM
2

That's fine. Infact, I dont want you tracking with me so lest I be discovered. Less people doing what I do the better. Your post seems super blue pill, you're well on track to being abused by one of these women again. I am absolutely comfortable with who I am: nice go at trying to shame me. There isnt much I would change about myself in my late 30s, I'm quite fit (havent weighed this little since college), highly-compensating job that allows me to WFH 100%, I do have a large amount of custody of…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 01:50 AM
11

It isn't complicated. It took me years to really come to terms with it, including dating additional women after: women's romantic love for you is always, always conditional. You may never become aware of the terms, but they were there. For most though, it's what you provide/how you make them feel. Women are only loyal to their feelings (I believe that's a CGA-coined term). I'm not telling you not to "love" again, but I can't. Even years later I am still stuck on the resentment aspect of how I wa…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 07:21 PM
7

No, they escalate. As other comments point out - this is the eve of a DV accusation, especially if she is saying things like "supervised visitation" when youre already near 40%. A DV accusation will get you on supervised visitation, at least temporarily. Start recording everything and minimize interaction with her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 04:24 PM
10

If you're currently involved in divorce proceedings, her moving and not telling you where the kids are is a violation of the Temporary Domestic Order.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 04:05 PM
3

I actually wouldn't recommend you enter anything related to computer science. AI is absolutely crushing coders and designers. While I do not know anyone personally out of work, there are plenty of posts about unemployed computer science people. While it seems contrary to your goals(not wanting to do electrical or anything mechanical): have you ever considered fire protection fitter or alarm tech. Could even do drafting in that field. This field is going absolutely no where and is very lucrative.…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 05:15 PM
1

Yes. However, since this is likely occurring on public property where there is zero expectations of privacy, video footage is likely always admissible without issue, it's just the audio that may require consent, depending on state.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 01:38 PM
1

Record custody exchanges. Mr. Felon really shouldn't be attending or participating in custody exchanges at all. Be sure to capture that you politely requested he stop attending. I used similar recordings to get a PO on my kid's mom's misdemeanor-man. Be warned though, if you go for a PO, theyre probably gonna go for one on you and they could obtain frivolous continuances for a temp one. I was just under a temp one for 90 days, preventing me from seeing my kid - her filing followed her guy being …
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:10 PM
1

Indeed. I'd just schedule the surgery regardless. Especially with the letter saying it's needed ASAP and the mother ceded for it to be "later". Nope it happens now! Let her go for contempt of joint legal custody. That'll go over so well considering it's borderline neglectful to continue to delay something medically necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 11:11 PM
1

Judge was threatening to give you primary due to her antics! 😀
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 04:08 PM
1

To tack on what the other comments are getting at: she's attempting to pin this child on you and establish a status quo that you deserve no custody. Ahem. Are you sure you weren't in HI 2wk longer than you thought? You need to file for divorce now, where-ever the jurisdiction applies. A Temporary Domestic Order will go out which, once she's served, will stop her in-state travels. This is an emergency.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:24 PM
4

Unless she's significantly wealthier than me, never. Got the snip and just enjoy shooting blanks into 304s. Also, entertaining impregnating a broad over 40? Do you want a healthy child? Let alone probably needing IVF. Free women cost the most. Acquiring a wife is "free" because she will make you pay on the back end. Thanks CGA.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 12:22 AM
2

Yes. I'm good with that. The message in my story was that this woman left our kid with her friend for multiple days, with her friend also taking her to daycare. Her friend was supposed to get 7 days while mom was physically in another country, meanwhile I was only supposed to have 1. It's the overnights that irk me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/25 02:10 PM
1

CGA referenced him today as the main topic. Really disgusting when you think Joe Rogan convinced him to not be fleeced by record companies but of course the real predator slept in the same bed with him for 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 11:34 PM
2

Right of First Refusal!!! I dont care if it is "not easily enforceable". I have had my parenting time minimized several times in the last year with the justification being "ROFR isnt in our parenting plan". In one instance the bish literally left the country and left our toddler with her friend for a week. Fortunately I was able to get the child out of daycare and just didnt give her back until her mother was back in town.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 08:22 PM
2

I agree with this comment. I'd even go so far as to say that unless it's Christmas or their birthday, buy almost nothing new for them. Almost everything a child needs can be found at second-hand stores or via trading with people via FB marketplace. It's perfectly fine. People who always buy new shit for their kids are unequivocally on the "poorer" side and broke.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 06:49 PM
4

Brother. Nice win! This is exactly what you should do. It legitimately disgusts me when fathers continue to pay child support when they dont have to. No bish. Youre lucky the state forces me to pay anything, when it says I dont have to pay anymore: lets go to Court! There's a prominent father's rights activist who just recently obtained 5050 timesharing. What did he go and do? Accepted a settlement for continuing to pay the same CS as he was at a lower custody level. F that!!! He claimed it wasn…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:22 AM
1

While I dont agree with it, there's been recent caselaw that opened the flood gates on abuse claims. Abuse from any time is valid. This has made it all the way up to the Supreme Court. I dont recall the case offhand, a lawyer should be able to. Considering this, if the Court hasn't seen the claim before and ruled on it, which would make the item res judicata, it's fair game for an abuse claim. As far as custody evaluators go, not really much you can do to prepare. Just be emotionally stable, hav…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 03:02 AM
2

Without reading the body of your post, because frankly it's irrelevant: Ask yourself what you will gain by a retaliatory DV claim? They're not going to modify the original in any meaningful way. You're possibly granting them a defacto extension of theirs since they're going to be heard at the same time. In the end, it just looks retaliatory, don't do it. Keep your distance and file later if you need to. Source: myself. I literally had a hearing for a DVRO against me today. I had been under it fo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 01:47 AM
21

Legit tear came to my eye about your kids' reactions when you were forced to leave. Thanks for sharing that. Women end marriages "just 'cuz". For real, they do. Their feelings told them to. Women are only loyal to their feelings. She hasn't told you why because she doesnt actually know. We could speculate all day long on what the primary driver was and still be wrong, but ultimately unless you were demonstrably abusive, do NOT blame yourself. Divorce goes off the deep end so quickly that it's no…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 09:10 PM
2

Exact known figures: me 10k, 5k of which was a fee award to her. She's spent 20k (-5k fee award). Litigation is ongoing and has been for going on 3yr now. I suspect she's probably spent 50k in the current state of things: she hired a new lawyer to do a frivolous TPO against me which they've obtained bogus continuances for 2x. Fortunately I got an order to show cause (with her being in contempt for withholding visitation) which will be heard shortly, it should stick. CS, assuming no changes over …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 08:05 PM
-1

False Orders of Protection and parents going for sole custody rise to the level of abuse and neglect in my book...
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 05:34 AM
1

You have to manage your attorney, theyre basically your employee. Me personally? I basically did 90% of my battle pro se. I have had two attorneys though and currently have one because I am such an antagonist/fighter about lingering coparenting & custody issues that I currently have a TPO against me because "he's a meanie bobeanie" - I am spending the money on the atty to help me - I expect she'll lose and I have managed to flip her TPO into also a contempt hearing (she's been denying me supervi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:50 AM
2

I believe Volokh is right too. I draw the line at the validity of a threat (a threat without capability to carry out is not really a "threat"), I don't even agree with excited utterances being an exception to the hearsay rule either. People say things they didnt mean when they were mad all of the time! And, what happens in family court is cruel, especially to men and children. Regarding appeals. Tons of family court rulings are reversible. Is it worth it? Probably not. I have seen multiple anecd…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 12:53 AM
3

In a way, being reminded of that is somewhat of a relief - I won't be falling for it again. Dropped the nuke, didn't work.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 06:05 PM
2

While I do agree with you out of principle, we have the nebulous application of constitutional rights in family court. Preponderance of evidence applies. That said, it does appear he plead guilty in criminal court (disorderly), which is beyond a reasonable doubt. He possibly could have won his criminal trial by claiming 1st amendment and there was no indication he actually posed a threat. Possibly. There are several videos on YT of men losing RO/PO cases simply because of things they said. The s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 05:58 PM
7

I need success stories like this. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 04:52 PM
6

Take a step back. Never forget this person is your enemy for having deployed the SB on you. Never. Ever. Forget. Because a possible outcome to the SB is ending up in prison, where people have a significantly higher chance to be murdered (theyre in the same room with people who've allegedly murdered others, amongst other things...), she was essentially making an attempt on the life of her children's father and willing to make him disappear, depriving your children of your resources and presence. …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 04:38 PM
4

Goggins is amazing and very motivational!!! As someone who's still fighting in courts over custody of our child, I am sure I seem like a demon and relentless: “Nothing wants to stand in front of anything that is relentless”
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 04:25 PM
2

This is what they do. Happens to most men. The threshold to obtain a TPO is basically zero. I kid you not, they could literally put "I have a vagina" on there and it's possible it could be granted. They'll also suffer basically no consequences for false/exaggerated allegations - I'll be an extreme data point on that shortly since I have both a CR11 sanctions motion (exaggerated claims, referencing witnesses who know absolutely nothing) and an order to show cause (violating my supervised visitati…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 12:13 AM
2

You probably have an order in your case that says they have to share financial information upon reasonable written request. Definitely request it now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 08:18 PM
2

Assume your facts are accepted. What does the state's calculator say?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 04:33 PM
1

If anything I see reason that she should be stripped of some custody/timesharing - she moved her boyfriend in and doesn't play an active role in managing day-to-day in what looks to be her obvious choice. Change in circumstances? Check.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 01:04 AM
7

Maybe be the "monster" she's accusing you of? Certainly accept that you'll always be the villain. Either way men just sorta lose no matter what they do regarding coparenting, we're always the villain for one reason or another. It's downright hilarious to me that she's getting ripped off by an attorney who has somehow convinced her she can strip 5050 off of you. From what you have said, there's like a zero percent chance.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:30 PM
3

Restraining orders and protective orders, if they stick to you, are possibly one of the worst things ever for custody of your kids and generally your future. They WILL dog you for the rest of your life. If you're going to spend legal dollars, spend it on this! You need to walk away from this feeling as though you did your best to fight it - unless you are practiced in running trials and know evidence rules, you're going to get steamrolled by the other party, especially if they have an attorney. …
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 11:54 PM
2

Just dont tell them those are blanks. I legit get a thrill out of roaring raw into divorced women who clearly thought I didn't see they were trying to score a CS bag off of me but after a few months asked me to see a fertility specialist with them. Nope. See ya! It really was special to see them ovulation track and present negative pregnancy tests... as if I ever explicitly consented let alone discussed having a child with them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 04:38 AM
8

Echo this. Undoubtedly they are going to file things that violate multiple legal doctrines and thus your state's Civil Rule 11 which typically allows for sanctions. Research the following topics heavily: res judicata, stare decisis, collateral estoppel and Rule 11 sanctions.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 04:14 AM
1

Get your own cameras. She's setting you up for a trap. Another TPO attempt is coming.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 03:46 AM
1

Good news is, at least where I am, anything that happens within 48 hours of the hearing doesn't really matter since to do so would violate the order on exhibits.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 03:33 AM
2

Changing ones mind regarding a position is a violation of judicial estoppel doctrine. It's an ethics violation to milk fees. Ex and her attorney should be sanctioned in your case. Will they? Probably not. Unfortunately this system just wants to eat us and doesn't actually care. While I am riding high at the moment, my contempt motion will probably also go nowhere. Same with your emergency motion. Will you have to pay her attorneys fees? There's a ton of caselaw on that. Have to fulfill the facto…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 02:19 AM
2

It makes exactly zero sense that the "financial abuse" claim resulted in a TPO against you. Judges however will just grant them because vagina. The key with contempt is to address the three elements - awareness, willfulness and the actual violation itself. I probably didn't do a good job on my first two motions for that, now it's very clear. Ultimately contempt convictions in some states actually result in custody exchanges. Especially if you can get a finding of parental alienation - AI indicat…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:58 AM
1

Second response: the judge in this matter has never actually had a hearing with any of us, it's her hearing officer who hears everything for her. Lawyers have also quietly told me during consults that she's terrible and you don't want her ruling on anything. When I have previously said judge, I'm referring to the HO. The actual judge assigned though is patently incompetent as the lawyers have suggested. On abnormal motions/filings, she takes over 90 days to rule if she even does at all (she didn…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:51 AM
2

We're making similar arguments and experiencing very similar things- theyre bringing domestic matters into DV court. Literally some of my ex's exhibits are my previous filings in domestic matters that have already been ruled on - I noted in my filings that these violate the res judicata doctrine/collateral estoppel because theyre trying to get a different ruling on an issue that's been decided. The first continuance was granted because the judge saw the list of exhibits (theirs 15, mine 20+) and…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:15 AM
1

Has yours been heard or is it still temporary? It's weird that your child was included on the order but you still have overnight visitation. My child was included, causing me to not see her for now 70 days, whereas before I had 35% overnights, in the latest hearing (they keep filing for continuances) the judge granted supervised visitation sua sponte. As expected, my child's mother is refusing to even present her to the supervised visitation center, 6 visits missed so far, so I just filed for co…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 11:52 PM
2

Shoot. I need to get a mani-pedi. Pretty much always have dirt under my nails from all of the remodeling and mechanical work I do as a hobby. I've definitely been splurging on the massages recently, too. If anything it's a break from life to think. As a tip to others: see about finding a local massage school to get massages with students. Yes there's a lot of variation to what they do, but the price is typically right - 40 to 60$ per 55 min session. I was going weekly.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 11:36 PM
3

You're one of the people that I am most aligned with here, you've influenced a lot of the way I think. Don't pay a lawyer. You're probably going to "lose" anyway regardless of whether you have a lawyer. Pay to lose? Nah, can lose on my own. Judge's discretion overrules everything and tbh they basically don't care about or apply the law for the most part. Just do your best to fight on your own, no one knows your case better than you. Present evidence, make good arguments then the chips will fall …
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 06:03 PM
4

I had 1/4 of her fees ordered against me. Judge meant to do 1/2 but her reading comprehension is poor. In her order she made it accrue interest at 9% per annum with no minimum payment. Imma let it accrue since war is still raging over custody of our daughter and I am saving it for leverage. Also, these judgements are typically dischargeable in chapter 7 bk since they're unsecured debt. Worse comes to worst, she can fight my other creditors and likely get nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:46 AM
2

That's a win if I ever heard one. Holy crap. What a crazy woman. Good riddance. My CS for 1 kid is what you pay in maintenance. I have 14 yr, you have 2. Lucky.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 03:20 AM
2

The crypto comment made me laugh out loud!!! I'd probably bounce it back at her and say yeah, I already gave you 1000 bitcoin with the wallet key, I want my share. She'd shut right the fuck up then. Why these people even bother going after bitcoin is beyond me. It's equivalent to saying someone has buried treasure in the desert without even knowing the location. Unless you can find it, access it: does not exist. And good luck trying to extract it from them if they chose not to remit it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 06:22 PM
2

It's radical acceptance. You must adopt it to move forward. It's not cheaper to keep her. Wanting to hold your family together is wanting life to be ideal - not happening, it isn't realistic. I wasnt married to her legally but was spiritually and financially married, similar to the way you probably are. While I was the one who was left (because she "wasnt happy") I am absolutely certain that I would have left her with everything that's happened to get here. 3yr later I am still fighting for cust…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 05:26 PM
1

Yes, tbh that's one of my worst fears, hiring an attorney and having them suck at trial and not objecting properly, amongst other things - but because I hired them, I forego my ability to object. I don't want to be passing notes(or texting, since all hearings seem to be zoom nowadays) saying "object object object!" Only for it to be untimely. Always ask how much trial experience an attorney has.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 03:30 PM
3

Excellent news! You've got this. I've been fighting over custody for a similar time frame and it's longer than we were even together at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 05:36 PM
1

Quite possibly the only silver lining to feminism encouraging women to value their jobs more than their families...
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 11:02 PM
2

Dude, samesies. I have a TS clearance. Definitely bring it up that she is aware you have those credentials and she knows what it could do to you during cross examination (could even do it during interrogatories/deposition). It shows obvious bad faith on her part. I completely agree - good luck with the child support if I become unemployable in my career. The standards of abuse are so stupid. Her statement of "I would sacrifice my life for my kids" could be twisted to be a threat to self-delete -…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 08:51 PM
2

Holy F. Fire your attorney!!! There's no reason to have a bill that high. They intentionally run up bills if they see you have money. Give James a chance. He's way cheaper. 80/hr and he says the same thing attorneys have told me, and he helps.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 08:34 PM
3

You have total control as a pro se. Learn evidence rules and you should be quite unstoppable. Ex spent 20k on her attorney and lost to me. They did award attorneys fees against me of 5k because I believe the female judge (who didn't even hear our case, her hearing officer did) got confused about who filed what. I did file several followup motions after contesting the award, lost those obviously. Even then, 15/5k cost with a good outcome on custody and CS? Worked out fine. Check out and schedule …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 08:26 PM
2

Friend, you sound exactly like me!!! Bro they literally have some of my "evidence" of abuse and likelihood of re-abuse being statements in emails of "I have parental rights. I was ordered to have custody. Perhaps it is time to go back to court? Putting our daughter in daycare for 10hr per day is not in the best interest of our child when I am home all day and can care for her. You and your boyfriend are alienating our daughter by having her call him dad and upsetting her prior to exchanging cust…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 08:19 PM
2

Maybe this was missed in my comment(not trying to argue) but they just grant TROs, for no real reason, she said the magic words(especially if she has an attorney) and has the correct genitals. I've been under a TRO keeping me away from my daughter for 2mo now. It was supposed to be heard 10 days after issuance but my ex's attorney made her exhibit and witness list literally a mile long to trick the court into granting a continuance of the hearing. Some of the evidence they want to bring in are m…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 07:59 PM
1

I did okay. Divorce-lite since it was just child custody/support. Probably did better pro se, actually. Always remember: no one cares about your case more than you. People give attorneys too much credit imo. They're really only good at trial imo. Half of them are below average and a quarter of them were in the bottom quarter of their class - which one are you getting? 95%+ of cases settle out of court, so you didn't even need a trial attorney. I will say though, in closing, be sure pro se is wha…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 07:44 PM
1

To weigh in, also: this is not grounds for a restraining order. Not harassment. Not stalking. There needs to be a pattern of behavior. Good chance you will win this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 07:30 PM
1

Never agree to anything whilst potentially at risk for plenary restraining order. It is leverage that will be used against you and it's permanently on your record, whether it's in place or not. It will come up later.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 07:28 PM
2

They grant TROs out of GP because if they're wrong and dont grant it, the judge will get smeared to kingdom come because they could have done something to prevent the event. If a legal professional says they don't hand out TROs like water, they're not telling the truth. It doesn't sound like the kids were on your RO. Thank goodness! You'd been absolutely screwed if they were included... silver bullet.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 07:26 PM
3

NAL. Talk to a personal injury attorney, this is ripe for a lawsuit against your un or underinsured coverage, you werent at fault for this. Of course an insurance agent will tell you not to sue them. I'm in NM, not far from you. Wild wild out here for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 06:12 PM
3

Maybe I am a dumbass (definitely not a lawyer) but I get seriously tripped up by the definition of extortion in the law - just about almost everything they demand and ask for in divorce and child custody seems like extortion to me. "Pay us 1k to stipulate to this motion of yours" "This will take longer and cost you more if you don't give us the docs" "Stipulate to this order, this isn't something the judge should have to rule on" "We believe you're abusing your child, pay us some attorneys fees"…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 05:44 PM
6

Maybe a little off topic but go see a doctor immediately for your injuries to document. Not a doctor but you have made statements which in my non expert opinion demonstrate to me that you have exhibited emotional as well as physical trauma. If you didn't create a police report of the incident, do it now. You may be entitled to an insurance claim of damages even if the other party effectively "got away". Healing is hard. Live out of spite, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 05:31 PM
1

Shiiiiiiiit. That's my size and I almost constantly have a caffeine OD throughout the day recently. Guess I'm mentally ill too!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 04:50 PM
0

Three ways: pay men for the services they need, find a simp to perform in the role of husband/provider, or finally: not need the services (because they rent, for example).
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 01:23 AM
1

I've done many of these "man" tasks for myself in the last 6mo. I am currently in the midst of a remodel on my second home, that I've been doing mostly by myself. Not sure what I will do when I finish in the next couple of months, likely sell it - I have never, not once in my 37 years met a woman who remodeled and flipped houses. Fortunately, I also live in the desert so no lawn to mow. Anyway. She did try to tell me multiple times she was unhappy because I wasn't supporting her. At the time, mi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 01:06 AM
1

Lol!!! Those arent even remotely related and this claim fails to consider the typical outcomes when exposed to family court system. We're getting so off track here. Doesn't another comment also point out that divorced/single mothers aren't extremely happy? It literally proves my point - sacrifice their family (father's and children's happiness is not considered) for their happiness. While only a single data point - my child's mother has spent 40k$ in the last year to ensure she remains a "single…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:49 AM
4

Fortunately the criminal court is beyond a reasonable doubt. They couldn't get him on preponderance, so they're not going to get him beyond a reasonable doubt either. Stupid that they are still trying, our tax dollars at work - OP, whatever you do, don't accept a plea.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:37 AM
0

Yes, I'm talking about the cherries they brought.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:33 AM
0

Nice cherry picking. I can see why a spouse would leave following a terminal illness. I might - haven't been faced with it - depends on the totality of the circumstances. Out of GP, I would stay if she had life insurance to see her off and to be able to collect. Yes I am aware men are more predispositioned to do it but women absolutely do it too - there are some viral videos recently of women going on vacation and blowing their late husband's money instead of even going to his funeral. The flips…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:04 AM
0

I'll happily do the dishes if she can change the car's oil, mow the lawn, repair appliances, typical "man" tasks. I will admit that those items take strength and some level of endurance, which men have more of due to their genetics. I actually want to do things because my family needs them to be done and I can do them. That's the "natural inclination" I have. She won't even attempt those things? What are women supposed to do then in a family unit? Nothing? They have no obligation at all? Just be…
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:57 PM
8

Dunno why you're being down voted. Nothing you said is incorrect. Marriage and long term relationships are a scam which mostly benefits women (and children). Men sacrifice their happiness for their family whilst most women will sacrifice their family for their happiness, especially if they perceive they can get a better deal.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:44 PM
8

This may not help much, but one way I have found to not feel envy is at least this guy has money and your child inherently benefits from it... it could be worse... she could be giving this man (and his children) your son's resources.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:23 PM
7

Honestly this is probably the biggest obstacle in my way for "healing". I/We got used. I think about it every day. It was always just about business for her, not love or because she genuinely cared about me. Everything she did was cold and calculating - and with time that becomes even more apparent. Once she got what she wanted though? Time to bounce and take the kid and let this new inferior man come in, while my former man (me) pays the bills. I resent that she even had access to me. She picke…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 11:05 PM
5

This is state-dependent. As much as I generally dislike when people say this: consult with an attorney in your area, this is 100% a question for them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 07:05 PM
1

Unfortunately I don't see anything in what you've said that could be used for an Order of Protection. "Threat" under the DV statutes means expressing an intent to inflict bodily harm or some other unlawful act. My child's mother used the word "threat" as probably 5% of the words in her petition for an OOP, while she got it granted temporarily, during the hearing, they'll see that what I was "threatening" in writing was additional litigation to uphold my parental rights and enforce my court-order…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 04:13 AM
2

I'd say definitely respond to all of the injury claims. Cumulatively she could turn that into a PO if you ignore it. Don't let her control that narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 04:35 PM
3

Yeah, I was going to mention in my comment to him that the long term psychological and emotional abuse qualifies for a protection order at least under my state's laws.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 10:51 PM
1

This may not seem like a pick me up but this comment is yet another echoing resounding support for you, bro. You're doing great, despite what it may seem. You have your kids, many men have the flip side of your schedule - I'm one of those and it isn't by my choice either.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 10:50 PM
1

While you should be able to get ex parte temporary full custody, the issue is going to be serving them upon her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:47 PM
3

It's dark, and you could be opening up a can of worms to get one on yourself... but you could pre-empt her with your SB. I find her sleeping situation and nocturnal activities incredibly weird.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:12 PM
10

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this story. Just when I think my life is shitty, I see someone who clearly has it worse. I'll leave you with this: Be careful brother, find ways to protect yourself from the Silver Bullet. If she decides to deploy this on you, your situation will get much much worse.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 05:25 PM
1

That's a legit protection order - she practically did a home invasion.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 03:08 PM
2

Could do a lease-to-own type of deal. Contractually obligate them to purchase it for x price at a later date. During Rona, I had RE investors basically offering to do just that for some of my properties. They were scams from my perspective (required me to maintain the property, they'd take over the mortgage and agreed to buy it for X amount at a later date). HOWEVER, they could back out of the purchase contract later for basically any reason (worth less later) and let's say that the property val…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 05:01 AM
3

Huh? Ever remodel a house? Rebuild an engine? Move residences by yourself? Do electrical work? Fix a broken appliance? Hell, cut down a tree in your yard? Change a tire? How much do you make in your career? The older I get, and I'm 37 right now, the more I realize that women absolutely need the services men provide because they wouldn't survive without them. Men are the prize, not women. My child's mother says she's strong and independent- can't do any of the above by herself (I've done all of t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 10:09 PM
10

Women come back because they couldn't do better. It's even easier to leave the second time because they have practice. Never give them a second chance at upgrading from you/destroying you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 08:09 PM
10

Smells of alienation and could be considered contempt. The boyfriend does not have legal custody, whilst you do. Document and use this against them later.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:45 AM
4

It's simply business. Divorce is like a 40B industry. The laws are changing somewhat (look at the shared parenting bill in TN) but there are always loopholes - Restraining/Protective Orders which will usurp a father's custodial rights - bam, shared parenting laws don't matter anymore. The BAR association in TN even argued that 5050 parenting will result in an increase in DV (theyre right, because more women with their attorneys will abuse the system). There won't be any significant meaningful ch…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 04:27 PM
3

It is literally partial-slavery. And I even have it good compared to many other men. I do get my jollies now post-vasectomy popping off into at-wall women who think they're going to score a 1.5k/mo+ CS payment off of me like my ex did (even with 5050 custody I will have paid >250k in CS until my daughter is 18yo, 14yr to go). Joke is on them and it's hilarious when after a few months they ask me to go to a fertility specialist because they were cleared but arent pregnant... yet at no time did I …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 04:14 PM
4

You don't mind a healthy debate but have not responded to a single comment as of my comment. Go away, troll.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 05:47 PM
1

I had a temporary protective order put on me for stuff that wasn't even verbally abusive or threatening, she just said it was... but we haven't had a hearing yet.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 10:12 PM
1

I had noticed that you'd gone slient and wondered what happened.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 09:42 PM
2

I just wanted to say that your comment is very comforting for others also going through this situation. Appreciate you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 08:33 PM
6

Live out of spite, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 08:28 PM
3

Chances are you may have to pay child support even if the child comes back as not yours, as you're acting as their father. It seems like you want him to be yours. Women do say hurtful and false things, there is still a decent chance he is yours and she's just lying (only you'd know more than me, though). She will use this child to torment you for years to come. In terms of walking away? Tough call. As I opened with, you may still be responsible for the child and emotionally he's yours. Not to be…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 06:49 AM
2

In my experience, attorneys rarely issue subpoenas. In my personal cases (civil litigation, child custody&CS and now DV) exactly zero attorneys have issued a subpoena to anyone. Meanwhile, I have issued 5 as a pro se. Regarding your case, subpoenas must be issued for a lawful purpose. Your phone records will demonstrate no wrongdoing and therefore are basically useless. A subpoena issued to you for them is done to needlessly harass you and you should protest it. Cheating isn't a crime, unfortuna…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 05:58 PM
1

Oh my goodness!!! It never ends. Glad you're still kicking.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 10:05 PM
3

Checking in a year later, how'd it turn out? Hope you still have 5050, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 06:48 PM
0

No disagreement there.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 03:24 AM
5

Coach Greg Adams analyzed this in one of his streams and determined women actually cheat more. Way more if you consider emotional infidelity to be cheating, too... it sorta is.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 10:16 PM
18

This is a golden opportunity, sir. You can be fair, as your children do need their mother, but always always always ask yourself what she would do to you if the situation were reversed - you should probably show no quarter - maybe offer her visitation but to stay away from you, your house and place of employment. As far as what's coming next - prepare for this to be flipped against you. She could and probably will file a reciprocal restraining order against you. It'll make her look stupid but it…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 07:27 PM
2

"Settled for a confidential amount" could mean almost anything. Imo, the lawyers got paid and the guy got next to nothing. I really wouldn't suggest pursing this for the general layman. It's an enormous gamble because your lawyer will rack up bills the entire time and he WILL be paid whether you win or lose.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 06:29 PM
13

Listen to me good, sir, this will seem harsh but it is the truth - they come back because you are the best they could do. It's not endearing. She essentially left you for dead, abandoning you because she thought she could do better, but surprise, she can't. Don't go back.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:13 PM
16

Many manosphere YouTubers have concluded the actual number of happily married people is <5% based off of the data. If they aren't legally divorced, they're emotionally, physically, sexually or spiritually divorced. Most of my close friends (and I am a Millennial) are still married. Their marriages are "okay". Once in a while one of them will let it slip that they are not all that happy and given the choice, they would never marry again. Coach Greg Adams says, or at least I think he is the source…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 07:25 PM
6

Lazy ass attorneys want all communication to be via email so they can search it. They love email because they can spend 5 mins typing an email and bill you for at least 15 mins if not a half hour. They also love phone calls too because it is basically unactionable unless someone recorded it and took notes. Bunch of do-nothings! My ex's attorney insists I only communicate with her via email. So I only send snail mail. She bounces all of the mail. Lol. She's missing filings as a result if she isn'…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 07:18 PM
12

The divorce is planned before the wedding, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 06:44 PM
2

Bruh. Hard truth here. This woman is a sperm jacker and is just using you, it's glaringly obvious to me. It hurts but that's the reality. This happened to me a couple of years ago. It's baby rabies. Even your child's mother having her first child didn't cure her of it - it's bad - and the probability of having complications from birth at 40+ are high. Can you imagine what it would be like to have her dump you after she gets that other kid and you have a special needs child and have to pay child …
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:52 AM
4

For REAL on this one. If OP thinks being forced to raise another man's child is bad, if she has the baby during their forthcoming marriage, he will 95% be responsible for the child support for that child too! Oh and I put 99% probability that their relationship doesn't work out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 01:44 AM
9

Brother, awww hell no. Divorce that bish. There is no reason to be unhappily married to this harpy. She literally told you that she'll leave you when she has the chance - most women won't tell you this but most will do it! Yes, the children will suffer somewhat but as cold as it sounds, your life is not entirely about them and women destroy their families all of the time for their "happiness".... that's the standard they've set. All I would ask yourself though is - is it likely you will get 5050…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 03:46 AM
2

Okay. Unfortunately you're going to have to have evidence of all of those things and then convince the judge of it. And again, the judge will have to decide not having an assigned father for the child is in the child's best interest - he probably won't. I sincerely hope you are successful in this battle but you could literally still be litigating this 2yr from now. Your legal bills will be 10k+ if this drags out and you could still lose. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 08:16 PM
2

I know this seems cold, but you're probably going to lose in trial (see: "best interest of child") and it will be expensive if you use an attorney. There is a recent YouTube video about an ex husband barely getting off for this exact issue (and he was initially ordered to pay child support) in Texas for a child that clearly wasn't his as the child was born over a year after they separated(and the mother was testifying it wasn't his). All the mother has to say is that it's your child. I mean, she…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 07:49 PM
3

You're going to need to fight this tooth and nail, they can and will likely assign you as the child's father because the court does what is "in the best interest of the child" or claims to, at all times. Having someone assigned to pay child support is unfortunately in the best interest of the child. This is 100% why men should never ever date or even marry single mothers. Sorry man. Don't even meeting their children if you risk dating them. What she is going for is known as an "equitable parent"…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 07:24 PM
3

Definitely. Insurance has already decided they were at fault for the accident and while my whip received a tiny dent and some paint swappage, they are ready to issue me a 5k$ check, meanwhile her car is a total loss. The morons ended up calling the police and demanded a police report. They chose to pull behind me and tailgate me when I passed them when the lane I was in literally didn't go where they claimed to be going. I used the report against them in my petition for a protective restraining …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 06:17 AM
8

All this. At the very least, OP, pay for a background check for this guy or dig deeper. My child's mother moved her boyfriend into the house literally weeks after I was gone. I poured through court records and found he was divorced - read the divorce decree, found out he had limited custody even though he was described to me as having 5050 (lol!). And last April, he assaulted a strange minor child in a park, breaking their bike. He got arrested for it. Then last October, I video taped an admissi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 05:03 AM
2

This. One should always be looking at the docket/register. My ex's new attorney likes to play games with me by rejecting my mail and demanding we only email. It's perfectly legal for me to send filings only via mail and so that's all that I do and she bounces them. She's like over a month behind on knowledge of filings, at least that's the impression I get from the emails she sends me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 09:50 PM
6

You're going to go through the stages of grief. Completely normal. I hope for your sake that you had limited marital assets and thank yourself for not having any children. It seems cold - but trust me, life will go on and you'll be good. Don't get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 05:00 PM
3

Then divorce him and put him on child support? Why wait 20 years?! You're both ignorant and a good little simpy-poo if you dont see that marriage laws are completely designed to extract from the provider (still men), regardless of whether he actually did anything wrong. My child's mother (and thank God I only had one kid with her) decided she was above "woman's work" and needed to return to her six figure job. I refused and was abusive because I made a quarter mil and said she should focus on ou…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 03:16 PM
2

One child with a bad man is explainable as him being bad and not realizing until you had a kid with him. But to then have another? Totally on her. Nothing stops women from leaving nowadays. They're actually incentivized to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 02:05 PM
3

And yet she had multiple children with him. Stupid comment.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 02:58 AM
27

Men are in love and women are in business. Once you grow and study the marriage wheel, it will change your entire perspective on women. I don't hate them, I understand them now, but I can't ever love them again.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 02:57 AM
1

My pushback would be - and they'll figure out you didn't disclose how exactly? I am absolutely convinced men weave their own noose in divorce court. Give them only what they know beyond a reasonable doubt that you have. Most lawyers will not lift a finger to go after some hearsay shit and the judge will do even less. My ex and her attorney demanded the settlement letter from a lawsuit I won. I told them I already presented it to them as the W2 the company issued me and yes, that was some of it. …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 09:10 PM
4

Bruh. Do you know how many JuCo 2.0M could buy?! Absolutely stop thinking about your ex. Men destroy their lives over mediocre cat. Get your divorce done ASAP and tell no one about this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 09:04 PM
14

Live out of spite. Thanks Terrance Popp for that gem.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:49 AM
2

From what you've described, a second child will nuke your marriage. 2-3 more years tops. I'd put money on it... sorry. For your own sake, don't have more kids, it just restarts the CS clock and increases it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 08:09 PM
1

Soylent green is people!!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 10:01 PM
2

I concur with this comment. Being pro se is not for everyone, it IS a lot of work. I was arguably successful in my self representation - the only thing she got was an increase in child support of 300/mo when I was already paying 1200/mo, bit whoop, considering how much I make and that she paid 25k$ for that privilege. Meanwhile, I got approximately 30% custody and immediate overnights with our child despite being "gone" an "estranged" for 2yr. I'll be suing for a modification for 5050 in a coupl…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 06:16 PM
1

I have a convoluted EOW and all Wednesdays plan. On months with 31 days it works out to be 25.7%. I want 5050!!! The convolution comes from when a weekend is split between months since my ex is adamant that the language of the PP, which says 2nd and 4th weekends for 9 overnigths and then 35% timesharing as the standard. She refuses to compromise on the meaning - so there are periods that I go 3 weeks without a weekend. I will be suing again in 2 months, even though the order is only 4mo old beca…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 05:31 PM
21

I personally deeply, deeply resent this aspect. At its core, the money clearly drives her to prevent me from getting custody and possibly taking the dependent status on alternating years. They should pass this, it'd actually be better for children imo. I obviously pay CS with after tax dollars. This amount includes direct reimbursement for the daycare subsidy she receives working at the VA - so I am literally reimbursing costs she never incurred (I have complained to the Court in written objecti…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 11:49 AM
1

I skimmed the comments and your post; fixating on a certain aspect: Bruh, if she is banging other dudes (and playing games with BC!?!?!) and "isn't sure if she might want a baby" in her late 30s, dump this broad now!!! These women are EXTREMELY dangerous. Next thing you know, she's pregnant, convinces you it's yours (or even not!) and because you're married, you're presumed to be the father! Some states won't even let you disavow a child conceived during a marriage because having a man on the ho…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 02:02 AM
1

If we can take our children half of the time and you women continue to fight it so you can maximize your child support despite all evidence showing that equal access to both parents is generally in the best interest of the child... who's the bitter and greedy one? Your children aren't an annuity. My child's mother has spent no less than 30k (1.5yr of CS "proceeds") fighting me (pro se) in court and losing.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 05:41 PM
3

This is probably the best and simplest comment here. Just be careful though, bankruptcy will not purge your CS judgements, but it may suspend payment of it temporarily - the amount will continue to accrue. However, like the previous comment is getting at, many states have limits on just how much of your income CS can take. For most of them, it is 40% and that's across all judgements/kids.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 07:33 PM
1

Briefly: Debt that is not directly associated with any collateral.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 07:29 PM
2

I've got other items too - like having completed step up. And other items from court orders she isnt doing, contempt. I do get your point though. There's a pattern occurring, this is just the most egregious and recent example.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 02:36 PM
2

She fortunately created a notarized power of attorney for a minor child and sent it to me. She was the only one that signed it, it put me dead last in the decision making process - her friend was first and her in-Mexico-ass was still ahead of me. This contempt and modification for more custody is going to be easy. Pretty sure her now previous attorney fired her over this because he's trying to withdraw.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 02:24 PM
1

OP, I think this is the best argument right here as it relates to the best interest of the child.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 07:23 AM
1

So this might be an unpopular comment. And from what you've said, you've probably been a father for longer than I have, but I am reasonably confident that I am older than you. Brother, your life is about you, not your kid and certainly not your ex. Do you have a level of custody of your child that youre happy with? If yes, who gives a shit what she's doing as long as your kids is safe? While it is okay to prioritize your child in your life, you should seek your own happiness first. This new woma…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 06:55 AM
7

Yup, the latest one is her sending our daughter to her (mother's) friends house for a week in December while she went to Mexico for a week, all without telling me - claiming she didnt have to because it wasnt my custody time anyway. I snatched our child out of daycare so fast and got a free week of custody... and in a week or two I will finish my motion for contempt and more custody. In what world should a child go to a stranger's house for a week instead of her parent's? We have joint custody!
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 12:07 AM
10

Unfortunately, like the other comments suggest, this is just something that we will have to deal with until our children are 18. I personally dispise how she fights me in court over whether I can minimize how often I even have to see her - I would prefer to use daycare as the "neutral" exchange location and just basically never see her again, meanwhile she pushes for a weird schedule that has me at least see her twice or three times a week because we exchange in a public place. In the latest req…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 10:41 PM
3

I like your approach: if you want something you have to do something. When I've done this before, suddenly she doesn't really want that thing if she has to do xyz.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 10:36 PM
2

Having read what you wrote here and a couple of other responses, it appears to me that maybe your lawyer thinks he isn't your lawyer? Sorry you're going through this. Lawyers really are do-nothing scammers.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 07:23 PM
3

An expensive lesson for prior use of vagina; CS too. Just don't make the mistake again, promise yourself you won't do it again - I have found that forgiving myself for making the mistake helps manage the bitterness, we are going to make mistakes in our lives.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 09:43 PM
2

I should probably clarify somewhat - I don't care to sue him for legal malpractice, I agree that would be my ex's job, as he took her money whilst violating the ethical standards to which he is bound. Where I have issues though is in his failed candor with the tribunal and possibly my ex, that he controverted an issue (award attorneys fees) without identifying any caselaw at all. There is significant adverse binding caselaw which states the primary test is the difference in income/resources betw…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 01:47 AM
0

With that delta in your incomes, you're likely the one owed child support, not her. Generally speaking. See if you can find the official calculator.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 01:54 AM
2

This is a solid comment. I will say that the naysayers got to me and I spent several more hours studying meritorious analysis of Rule 11 sanctions. And would you know it: had I not done that, I might have violated Rule 11 by just submitting the motion for sanctions. So, in a way, they might have been trying to trick me. I have to provide the attorney with a "safe harbor" period of 21 days to withdraw or amend his filing before filing for sanctions as well as give the court notice of my intent. M…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/24 03:15 PM
1

That's constructive feedback, thank you. I openly acknowledge that it wouldn't take much at all to tear me down from the advantage that I perceive myself to have at the moment. I do have moments when I think their incompetence (or the feign of it) is being weaponized against me and I am missing something. But the rules are the rules and this motion for fees is frivolous... I would just like to be done. I will admit that I would pay 5k to just get a correct parenting plan and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 06:41 PM
1

The world isn't fair, that's true. However, to refuse to fight back, as you have a constitutional right to do, is to ensure you lose. I have several personal, albiet anecdotal examples of men who just rolled over in court and clearly lost as a result. In my case, they would have motioned for attorney fees following settlement anyway, as the statutes here permits them to do so, from my interpretation. I'm not seeing how I have any other option than to fight back and hiring an attorney would just …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 06:29 PM
1

I'm aware, George Carlin. I'd say if anything they should just want me to go away. I will keep filing. They have yet to identify a single rule violation on me, because, I haven't violated any.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 06:23 PM
2

Yes, I am not a lawyer. I will heed your advice and refrain from suggesting any "legal malpractice" in my communications. I agree that might be a bridge too far. Edit, to add: I have been to court. Twice now, in fact, and I had an tort lawsuit against a business over a year ago that I won (had a lawyer for that). My day-to-day role in my job is actually in the application of Codes and Standards ("laws") to government ops - lawyers could literally bring me to the stand as an "expert" on the topic…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 02:21 PM
4

Just use the rules of thumb "7 year itch" or "after a child, she changes". It's that simple. Just don't get married and get a vasectomy too, while you're at it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 05:28 AM
5

They haven't even scheduled hearings on my two contempt motions, one of them is over 4mo old and still no hearing scheduled. The court is trying to deflect to a parenting coordinator that I objected to on 14th Amendment/Troxel v. Granville grounds. They still haven't responded to my objection filing and it's been nearly 3 weeks. Fortunately, though, I think with this motion for sanctions and a recommendation to my ex that she sue her attorney for legal malpractice(lmfao), it may be over soon. Be…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 05:04 AM
3

Many hours of studying various YouTube videos on the topic (Coach Greg Adams, "HowIGotCustody"/FathersRights&Resources, TheLeadAttorney, Child Support School). I have done several calls with James at FathersRights&Resources. While he's kind of a dick with a very abrasive personality, I highly recommend him, he's better than the attorneys I consulted with throughout the process. Book a session with him if you can. Admittedly, it also helps that I work from home as an engineering consultant and ca…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 04:59 AM
5

Thanks man. I have always thought they were scammers. First (and only) divorce/custody battle. I had an attorney over a year ago but she definitely rubbed me the wrong way by saying she loved male clients because "they have money". Fired her. As far as I am concerned, they can all kiss my ass. Just follow the law, you bitches. The System should be dissolved. Absent a finding of fact that a parent is unfit, 5050 should always be presumed, with the party ceding custody dictating terms.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 04:05 AM
7

Hey, I just wanted to point out, since I am currently working on this issue at the moment (as a pro se): in my state, the primary test for the award of attorneys fees is the finding of a 'resource disparity' between the parties. It's all over the caselaw. As you've indicated, "I don't want her money", if you make materially less than her: it is YOU that are entitled to the award of attorneys fees, not her. If you're becoming financially drained, you may motion for an interim award of fees. You b…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 07:02 AM
2

The only way I know how to materially defeat these entities, having read the reviews of others, is to never have them assigned in the first place. I objected to the order to assign one in my case, citing Troxel v Granville's Constitutional rights and the horrific reviews the coordinator had on health grades. "How can assigning a likely sociopath to assist two fit parents in coordinating their parenting be in the best interest of the child?" They've been dragging ass on responding to my objection…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 06:52 AM
1

I always correct the term as well. You have a period of responsibility for your children, parenting or parental time sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:19 AM
1

I have no second hand knowledge of it, all of mine is third hand. My take on it: entirely possible. You must select a non Hague signatory country to start, to have the best chance. Several of your questions imply that you might come back to the US. If you have this perspective, I would say stop now - if you leave to basically engage in avoiding the enforcement of court orders, never plan on returning. Anything left in the US should be assumed lost forever. Should you return for any reason, you c…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:08 AM
7

Sorry this has happened to you, it's a fear of mine as well. General suggestion - if these accusations have findings of fact and the court determines they are not valid, this is a frivolous motion. Even with it being a "protection" type order and exempt from collecting attorneys fees (review case law), you should be entitled to fees in your general divorce case because it has delayed resolution of the case and cost you, and a frivolous motion is a bad faith activity and can resort in sanctions a…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 08:06 PM
3

I have two motions for contempt against her for interstate travel with our child and for modifying extracurriculars without my approval. 6mo and not even a hearing scheduled on them. I wouldn't be surprised if they just dismissed them. I fed them incomplete financial information and nothing has come from it. They even assigned my child support using the information that was several years old. The flip side is also true - they didn't seem to care about my objections that the information was too o…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 08:25 PM
3

This is the best advice. Never forget that she had your child(ren), not this other guys'. You planted your flag pole first and did so when it was a more 'valuable' conquest. Stated another way, he's eating food you threw out or developed a distaste for. This man is a loser, a true bottom feeder. It is basically certain that she feels almost no attraction for him, too, or it will be very short-lived. She's likely literally using him to tick you off - women play games like that. Just crush life an…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 07:29 PM
8

Women just don't get caught as easily.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 02:55 AM
10

The Monkey Branch is real, undefeated. The exceptions prove the rule. She won't leave one man that is not overtly abusing her without having another to cling to. Bar none. Take the anecdotal evidence I have - just how can one explain how a mid-single mother can go fresh onto the dating scene and get into a sometimes multi-year relationship soon after a marriage ends? Meanwhile there are single mothers I have seen on dating apps for literal years who admit to just tearing through guys, unable to …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 02:53 AM
1

You will need to appear. I'd go about it via a motion for summary judgement in which you will present all of the evidence and given the facts, you'll basically direct the judge to do xyz. Shouldn't be expensive. While I do get annoyed when people say "you need an attorney", many are free, why not get a few consults? I have paid to consult with a few and am still pro se in NM.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:41 AM
0

I'll be the "bitter and hurt" man here. 0 - F no. Do NOT tell her you got snipped. It's none of her business and at 40yo, are you trying to end up in child support or with a child who has a disability? I have always said IF I ever risked letting a women steal a child from me again, I would require her to prepay all of the CS she could potentially be awarded upfront. Aka never. I feel exactly zero qualms about omitting that information from these women- are they going to tell you that they will g…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 02:54 AM
6

It's frequently said that until women become the overall net "losers" in divorce, the laws will not change. It's likely more women are losing than ever but the disparity is still enormous. I don't expect any truly-meaningful change in our lifetime.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 02:33 PM
3

It's still very early, but in time, say a year, you will come to see her as having given you the blessing of a lifetime. Men are the prize and if women ditch them prior to 35 or so and especially without having obtained children, the women have inevitably fumbled the bag, whether they realize it down the line or not. Check out some of CGA's live shows or his book "The Free Agent Lifestyle".
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:28 AM
2

Yup. "Handing you the scissors" On the flip side, they often misbehave and get angry when you just tolerate it and refuse to leave them. Mine said "why do you have to make me be the bad guy?" Smh. I hate to say it, but I now totally agree with CGA on this: more men need to divorce their wives.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 08:46 PM
1

She cut his willy off long ago when he left the toilet seat up.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 08:43 PM
1

Gotta be careful ever mentioning you had a vasectomy if you have been with her a while. A couple of fancy mental gymnastics and you SA'd her because you were having sex with her under false pretenses - which is funny when you think about it - as she was always therefore having sex for the purpose of potentially getting a child. Just never tell them, it's none of their business, ultimately.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 03:55 PM
3

Absolutely. They expect us to come in there and "redeem" their basically empty egg carton. After 30, they're all using you for your sperm. CS is an annuity to these people. I got used and even with 35% custody of my daughter, I still owe 1.5k/mo for the next 15 years. To add to the digust factor, my daughter's mother aborted her first child (with someone else) 10yr prior. But for me? "nah, maximum CS for you and I will fight you every step of the way to preserve custody". A vasectomy was the bes…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 10:08 PM
1

Good, bro. Please be more careful. You never really know who someone is until they decide they've had enough of you and if you have children with them... omg.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 05:17 PM
2

Tbh, the details aren't that relevant and even though we don't agree about them, they are not static at all - she seems like she likes you now. She's obviously receiving your seed now. I would hope a woman generally wants to be with a man she's receiving the seed of... but time tells all. What happens when she has secured your child in time? All new relationships have tons of the chemicals flowing to bond and invest, but those fade in time, but mistakes made during this period are lifelong. The …
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 05:19 PM
6

Bro I'm cringing over here!!! She's literally the prime candidate for a woman looking to trap a man - distance, knows you already have kids and therefore unlikely to contest no custody of another. She can in theory double the child support she receives if she gets you on the hook. These women are massive scammers and use the system to trap and enslave men.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 02:46 AM
4

Good luck, brother. Make an appointment to get snipped regardless. 😢
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 02:22 AM
5

It's a reference to Coach Greg Adams, an author and YouTuber. Highly recommended. He has helped me navigate the last 2 years of serious turmoil in my life of having my family nuked by a woman for basically no reason - basically because she felt she deserved better than me (she didn't do better). CGA frequently says "the rapist" on his show when referring to therapists. And, with what your wife is doing to you, "handing you the scissors", she's trying to piss you off to get you to cut the relatio…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 01:27 AM
6

Don't feel bad at all, brother. Just for the love of God, do not impregnate her. Some women love to intentionally target divorced dudes because they perceive them as desperate for anything and because they're used to it: they'll roar raw in them since they used to do that with their wife. Many people end up impregnated by or with "rebound" relationships. I personally only nut for half of the sexual interactions I have with women recently. I suppose it doesn't help that I basically know what most…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 11:52 PM
7

I like the way you summarized this. This is undoubtedly narcissistic abuse of this man in several ways. Separating (or attempting to) him from his familial relationships. Depriving him of assets and resources. (Car, possible job loss) Intentionally obstructing ability to recover or care for one's self. (Took wallet) Sees herself as justified in "punishing" him.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:21 PM
4

Coach Gayyyang!!! She's absolutely handing this guy the scissors.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:15 PM
1

Yes sir. I've already drafted up one. The things she said to me were contrary to the best interests of children in the state (joint custody) and arguably against the perspectives of the state BAR, which is or should be to follow and enforce the laws of the state.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 10:54 PM
1

You can't help people who won't help themselves. Reading your story made me question which sub I was in for a second, since frequently mothers say what you have. They call it being a "married single mother". My ex would say it about me, that she did everything and I did nothing (which of course was false). Anyway, I'm not trying to disagree with you here, as I think you're being truthful with how you feel and you're both clearly unhappy. Many people, including myself, would argue that the mere a…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 10:43 PM
-2

I do not mention a child anywhere so it always leaves it open for them to ask if they care. I evaluate whether I will tell each woman based off of what they're looking for on the app. I generally tell single mothers pretty quickly and express I am open to more even though I am not (snipped, dont tell them). Single women without children I do not mention it to in most cases. I have had multiple situationships that never knew I had a kid. I have no qualms with lying through omission to them. None.…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 05:37 AM
1

Maybe watch some CGA? There is so much more to life than relationships and that's what I am getting at. Women in the long term are detractors. I haven't had a thoroughly satisfying relationship since initially meeting my child's mother like 7yr ago and we can see how that turned out... 15yr of child support and custody lawsuits for me. Don't marry again. It shouldn't even be a consideration on your mind imo. I'd say definitely get snipped too if you haven't. 30-35 women are trolling hard for a m…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:47 AM
-2

Not too much different from you - 36, 510, quarter mil income, one 4yo daugther I am currently litigating my custody of. It sounds like you're doing the right things to me. Earlier this year I had a string of first dates and zero second dates. The women wouldn't just abruptly stop talking to me but they would slowly ghost over a day or two or penpal me for weeks. I was legitimately annoyed and hopped on and off the apps repeatedly. Now, I have taken the approach that women who ghost and bounce b…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:34 AM
3

It was in mediation since the mediator was bouncing between rooms. Appreciate you pointing out the difference as I didn't understand it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:23 AM
1

Yeah. It may be time. I have consulted with several prior to all of my filings who basically assured me that I should have extensive custody already and her violating the parenting plan is contempt in itself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 01:51 AM
16

Didn't work for me. It was a WOMBAT - waste of money brains and time. She had already decided she was done despite counseling being her suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 01:46 AM
4

Oh for sure. One of these women got me (and I now have a 4yo daughter) and that's how I know what they're upto. 30-36yo women are actually my favorite demographic due to their desperation - they'll let you roar raw up in there really quickly hoping to catch a baby off ya. Too bad they don't know those are now blanks. 😉 I also knocked down my first 'egg freezer' last week. I unfortunately made her mad when I said under no circumstances would I ever participate in IVF in the future as I'd rather c…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:37 AM
2

I put a Motion For Cause (Re Contempt) in on her ass for taking our daughter out of state 2x and changing her extracurricular activities. Technically, I did give her permission literally as she was boarding the plane and in the car crossing the state-border, but at the time she was withholding my daughter, so I claimed coercion. I didn't even really read her lawyer's response because I got her 'dead to rights'. Tbh, I don't think anything will come of it, but she definitely shaped right up when …
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:28 AM
18

Bro, you can practically hear their eggs turning to dust at 35. Please do not marry her or give her a child. This may seem cruel but their desperation is off of the charts at that age, if they can't lock someone down immediately they'll never have a child at all. She should literally be paying you to marry her, and I am not at all joking.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 03:54 AM
6

Per Psych Today, the primary source (~50%) of a cheater is a close friend. Secondary source (~30%) is coworkers. Applying this general research to the medical field is appropriate and probably even stronger due to the reasons I mentioned, but yes, I have not seen an actual study. Broadly, hypergamy is extremely strong for women in the medical field - they know some of the wealthiest men around.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 11:01 PM
3

I think it's because there is a very polarizing dynamic in the medical workplace - female subordinates to a male superior and they both already have high resources, demanding schedules and extensive periods of time in close proximity to eachother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:55 PM
3

OP. This. You need your soon to be ex under a temporary domestic order immediately. File now! She can easily wreck your life and future by strategically removing protection from you (insurance, etc.) Leaving you totally screwed over potentially. She can still do that stuff but after she's been served the TDO, it's officially illegal/contempt of court for her to harm you (or your children, if you have any) in basically any way. There's another guy too. Best take that bitter pill now. You are enti…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:53 PM
3

In my personal life, and because I am a troll to some divorced women on dating apps: I have already been seeing women screaming about how unfair having to share custody (the horror!) and in some cases pay their ex spouse CS. Not saying there will be reforms any time soon, but there are a lot of very angry women out there about the "fair" family law system we have. These same women will be quick to point out that they're homeowners and have successful careers... pick which reality you want, ladie…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 10:46 PM
1

NM but this shouldn't be terribly different from other states I have seen. That said, my previous comment here is 8mo old and a lot has changed. I ended up having to reopen the lawsuit because my ex decided she could just suspend the parenting plan at will but I still had to pay her CS and all the arrears I agreed to. I have a motion for enforcement in and contempt (due to travel during a TDO). We're supposed to have settlement in a week but they keep pushing it off. She did hire a lawyer but I …
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 04:23 PM
2

If only CS calculators included adjustments for inflation! Lmao. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 12:34 AM
4

Seriously, this. It might seem nice pounding away at a psleeve you liked, but for sure she is attempting to score a child off of you. Mine tried hard and I would pull out and it'd piss her off(she'd scream "wtf!")... and ultimately she still took my daughter... now I'm snipped so this never happens again to me. Literally one of the best things a man can do(if they're having sex with Western Women) is get snipped and not tell her; it's so incredibly empowering to shoot blanks into them with them …
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 02:20 AM
1

It's hard to argue with Ozempic's success. My female cousins clearly started using it about 6mo ago and today they're almost unrecognizable. One of them has never been thin in basically her entire adult life and she's 40 now. I don't know for sure they are using Ozempic but, it's the only plausible explanation for what's occurred. With this considered, studies show that if you have a sexual partner that loses a lot of weight, there's a >90% chance of divorce/breakup in 3 years. It's a major issu…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 11:32 PM
6

This is an excellent comment and summary of what needs to be done. It is just sad to me that many men find this out kinda late in life. Men need to start approaching relationships with the question of "how is she trying to manipulate me?". Stop living in denial guys, "but she's different, she loves me!", women have told me this shit too(!) and I am with none of them today... she IS manipulating you and has some other goal than being "in love" with you. She wants access to your resources - whethe…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 05:43 PM
0

Ironically, my mother is a devout Catholic and she filed for divorce in Utah... never remarried though. I do vaguely recall her saying she knew she wouldn't be allowed to remarry because of her faith. I chose to disavow my Catholicism because I think the church should do more to combat divorce which destroys children's future.... by excommunicated people, since marriage is a sacrament. On top of this my child's mother and her live in divorced with 2 babymoms boyfriend are both devout Catholics a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 10:04 PM
3

TechLead's divorce is a recent celeb (D-List? He's a YT star) divorce with excessive drama. As I recall, his wife split, took his kids and disappeared to Japan. I believe he got arrested for simply trying to recover them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:50 PM
2

They find a way. Infact, Utah (with the highest per capita population of Mormons) has one of the highest divorce rates in the US... I grew up there and my parents (non-mormons) were divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:47 PM
3

You're both not wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:43 PM
-1

This is readily google-able in the broad and outside of reddit sense. Posed to me: Western European Heritage for both of us, both parents previous divorced, 3-4 gen immigrants. That said, from the data, the one that amuses me is Black American women - least married and most divorced. As the Kang of Kang (CGA) says, that's quite a feat, BW.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 09:39 PM
3

Bipolar disorder could also be an acronym of bpd. People should just spell it out, imo. Either way, women with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder are to be avoided.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:46 PM
0

Yes. As much as women claim they are open to children, they mean THEIR [future/current] children. I intentionally hide that I have a child to most of them because I can easily navigate around it with my schedule and multiple properties/cars. Potentially, they will never know. Culturally, people seem to shame men who don't want single mothers, when I think the problem, when inverted, is actually much worse - women do not want men who already have tapped resources (divorced/CS). Even single mother…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:44 AM
2

Friend. Unpopular opinion: while I do love and care for my daughter - having a child in the West with a Western Woman will be the worst thing that ever happens to you. Fucking don't do it!!! The amount of stress custody and CS has caused me has eclipsed every single event in my life and I am graying hard at 36 and I literally have a lawsuit against my child's mother at this very moment... 15 years to go! I'm very high income for the region, top 3%. My child's mother, fortunately, also exceeds 6 …
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:59 AM
1

Oh you'll get half of everything alright. Push for trial and just get it over with. You ain't getting everything though. Nice try.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:45 AM
5

Could also stand for borderline personality disorder, which imo is more destructive and common.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:41 AM
10

Bruh. I'm also a 36M. Let me share my insights. Dating market absolutely blows unless you're in the top 25% of men. I probably am and I tend to do okay(when on the apps, I easily manage a match every few days and usually run a queue of women "interested"), haven't been >6mo without a reliable 'GF' and I have been "divorced" for years. That's not to say these women are any good, last two have been divorced/broke/little fat and the current one has two kids I haven't met yet (I buzz by for nooners …
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:37 AM
9

Shocking to me that 35yo+ women actually think marriage is still on the table for them when they're bringing infertility and another man's children (and not just two, four!) to the table. I know there are dumb men out there but my goodness, who do you really expect to signup for that situation?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/09/24 09:52 PM
10

I love this for you, brother. Consider writing a longer story and sharing it with us while it's still fresh - might help someone.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 10:17 PM
4

Oh man, I grew up in Utah so you and I have that common ground. Everything there family/relationship-wise appears fine and dandy until one day it doesn't- my parents divorced back then too. It was rough, I saw my dad maybe one weekend a month from 5yo onwards. Anyway, let's talk about you. Your wife wants to get dicked down by someone else she met. He's there already. I know this seems unpleasant but you need to accept this.... this is the playbook women follow. The direct quotes you referenced …
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 10:26 PM
5

You have slight protection with an LLC since you technically can control how much money you take as profit. Still not good. I still say close that F-er because they're gonna tear through and challenge all of your records with a forensic accountant and you'll pay for the privilege. Depending on how crazy they get with subpeonas, they essentially could destroy your business relationships anyway (look up the break dancing dad divorce lawsuits)... just close the business and simplify all of this. To…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 03:34 AM
2

Brother, sorry, they're like 10 steps ahead of you like women are with most men. Divorce is a playbook they are all aware of and most of them share notes. Do something they wouldnt expect and this is not advice by any stretch of the imagination but it would sure be unfortunate if your new business endeavor fell on hard times and had to close its doors. What a shame. Fortunately you know what's tried and true, you had been making 50k for years. Not advice. Just what I would do if you catch my dri…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 03:16 AM
5

I found that curious as well. The wife used it as a perfect opportunity to say "peak earning potential achieved, pull the rip cord". OP needs to find that this business was lost in an unfortunate boating accident or equivalent and he was only really making 50k/yr. As I mentioned in another comment, if he hasn't setup this business correctly, it is quite possible that he could find himself paying out 1M in CS within the next 15yr.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:03 PM
7

Divorce is a social disease, brother. If it starts happening in your inner circles, everyone gets infected. It took me a long time to figure that out... a woman with single women as their primary friends and family will become like them essentially through hook or crook.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 06:24 PM
9

Bro this is such a praying mantis if I have ever seen one, disgusting. Sahm are the worst to divorce, too. This was absolutely a setup, sorry. In brief, you need to see a lawyer. That said, here's what is generically going to happen to you: alimony will be per the length of marriage, assets will be split 5050, she will be owed CS for at least the next 15yr. I know you said you don't mind the CS - I am of the opinion you should mind - do you even know a ballpark figure of how much it will work ou…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 06:06 PM
5

Are you here to provide support for divorced men?
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 12:07 AM
2

It's shocking, isn't it? I was part of the groom for a lifelong engineer friend of mine when he got married. I privately told him he shouldn't marry the woman because she literally looked like a cave troll at 30. Who cares if she had an MD, I know my man could do better.... of course he still married her and she hated me so that was basically the end of my friendship with him. I think selecting inferior women is an echo of the low self-esteem many male engineers have which likely developed in HS…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 12:03 AM
12

Bro, as you know, she was just wearing a mask with you - first 90 days everyone puts on an act of who they are. Her anger issues were the real her that you would eventually get to experience at 6mo+. Good riddance! I completely agree regarding the perspective of abundance with women. They're half the population and depreciating every second with new and more appealing-models becoming available all the time. After 35, men dominate the dating market place if they have their act together. It's a sa…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 08:45 PM
2

That's the philosophical principle of Occam's Razor. The least amount of assumptions needed to come to a conclusion is usually the correct one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 04:23 PM
1

Okay. You're entitled to your opinion. My seed, my choice. They are not entitled to my health status, anyway, by HIPAA. While we're on this topic, is she going to tell you that she's sleeping with other men, that she may abort your child through her own discretion, that she plans to fleece you for maximum child support, that she herself is infertile (I have slept with women who clearly had PCOS or other diseases which likely rendered them infertile anyway but they "promised" me they could have k…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 09:18 PM
1

Do you know all of the details of your friends vasectomy? Did he verify the pipes were cleared afterward? A lot of men fail to do this properly. I have had friends tell me similar horror stories and without all of the details, I just dismiss it. It reminds me of people who would say their hormonal birth control didn't work - if you pry deep enough, they were doing something wrong. I realize you conveyed this same message but when you compare the overall effectiveness of vasectomies compared to o…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 09:12 PM
3

What? I can honestly say, I have never been happier and more content about where my life is. I live in abundance with women now and basically without fear of how they can steal from and hurt me... and I get the last laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 07:05 PM
5

I agree that it is disgusting and that's a thought I have frequently, but it is what it is now. I consider myself lucky at this point if I catch them and their body count is 3x mine or less. I've just learned to not ask them the questions to which I don't want the answer. I have realized they all have a roster of dudes; yes, plural and this isn't an offer to join the roster but to supplant them as the one she uses for other resources. One chick inparticular I distinctly remember waited an unusua…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 01:07 AM
3

As a wise coworker of mine frequently said "would you be with a woman if she didn't have that one special organ?" "No?" It's true. I like my friends more than I have ever liked any woman (in the long term). I accept that I am now infact a [covert] fuckboi. I don't just ejaculate and evacuate though. I come back around, to go for more dips. They get that type of commitment. Infact, I have never had a ONS. I have always banged my conquests more than once.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 11:10 PM
3

Smart man on the snip. Delay delay delay. Say let's see each other for a while and see where it goes. Offer things like "I intend to be exclusive with you but want to ensure you don't for crazy after getting the D". Commitment is your currency/leverage. If you're high value enough, you can delay forever. My last chick was in a situationship with me for 6mo. Don't ever tell them how you really feel - ie no marriage, no kids - as you gain nothing by telling them that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 11:02 PM
12

I've browsed a few of your other comments. It sounds like you're pretty good with chatting with women. In my experience in only a couple instances have I seen them trying to weed out fuckbois and ONS with me by demanding a relationship/commitment. If they're actually doing this, it's comical because there's basically no way you're the only guy she's banging regularly, let alone just talking to. I would consider them to be in a serious drought if they have even gone a month without having sex... …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 10:51 PM
22

She said in there that the conversations stop after a few sentences. There is an easy way to fix the lack of success: push for a date immediately with guys who are talking with you, as that's a shot on goal and already a privilege theyre giving you. Offer to pay for the date. Be accomodating. Ultimately, you have to buy 'valuable' men's attention now, at 40+. You have to open up the ability to score, we already know you were a wide open goal previously and now you want us to put shots on goal wi…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/07/24 07:10 PM
3

Spoken like a Coach Gang member. Once you see the light you can't unsee it. Men are in love and women are in business. Pay on the front or the back end. I have to tell you I just have become soooo resentful recently of my child's mother - it's so clear she never ever cared about me, she just wanted to hook me for CS and then to hold the child away so as to maximize CS. She's literally fighting me in court at this moment to give me any custody or even an overnight with our 3yo despite having a PP…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 12:25 AM
1

Yeah, you're right. Out of all of the things not to insure, why wouldn't you have homeowners insurance whether you owned it outright or under a mortgage? It's just an asset to be able to steal though and if it should burn down and was uninsured, you deprived someone of the right to steal it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 09:00 PM
1

Home insurance is pointing back to securing the value of assets. Terminology common in temporary domestic orders. Concur regarding the finding ways to screw OP over. Failure to comply with the terms of a TDO is grounds for a contempt claim.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 07:13 PM
8

I'll tell you why: it's simple, "business", men have resources to steal. It is the same reason men are the net the taxpayers. If the system were concerned with actually being fair, it'd quite likely put itself out of business because CS for example is quite nearly nullified by equal custody arrangements - the government and judges receive kickbacks for the net childsupport exchanged between parties.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 07:08 PM
13

Women willingly bringing a child into this world without a father should be illegal as it's essentially child abuse.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/07/24 11:19 PM
4

Yeah. Fuck right off with that BP garbage. These women had their chances(!) to have a family. Many of them eventually destroy their family if they even get it, arguably intentionally. There were plenty of great men they passed over on the way to becoming a postwall woman. I am one of those men; eventually, I got used by one of these women, who, to add insult-to-injury, aborted her first child she conceived during her teenage years. But for me? "No bish, you get to pay 1.5k/mo CS, with 5050 custo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 05:59 AM
4

Jealous. It is likely going to be the greatest blessing you ever receive. Never marry again and strongly consider having a vasectomy - after 27 or so, every woman who dates you is going to want kids and they are totally open to skipping marriage for that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:40 AM
4

I love seeing wins like OP's. Stuck her for more child support! You know she is gonna seethe with 5050 custody and owing CS. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:24 AM
7

It will be one of the best things you can ever do for yourself. I had mine done two years ago and my friend (still married) just had his done last month - not terribly painful or expensive. And, do yourself a solid afterward and tell no woman that you've had it done either... I've already plowed one chick for 6mo who was clearly trying to snag a kid off me (she was fully aware of how much the CS from me would be might have even mentioned it to my face once, >2k/mo, a nearly 50% increase in her m…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:19 AM
5

Can she legally do that? No. Assuming many of the details and assumptions which are true for most people are also true for you, and they probably are from what you wrote. Now, the truth is, she could do that. Your lawyer is wrong and ultimately it is no skin off of his back if he is wrong, infact, he secretly could want her to try to do that, because he will make money the whole time he is 'helping you'. In reality, she was most likely lashing out against you because she was hurt - she leveraged…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 10:50 PM
-1

Not to belabor this - but you are well within your rights to subpoena her clients for information. Just the act of doing that will absolutely destroy their business relationship because for them to respond to your subpoena costs them money and time that they get almost no compensation for. I forget the guy's name but Google the story of the "break dancing dad divorce". His ex wife's subpeonas single-handledly destroyed this guy's multi-million dollar business basically overnight. Ultimately he f…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 01:17 AM
2

Subpoena the heck out of the LLC and go after its clients, subpoena them too. If she wants alimony, burn her business relationships to the ground. This is going to be a mess.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 01:05 AM
1

CGA has helped me accept reality so much. More than any therapist or friend. However, I am still finding difficulty accepting JuCo is the way to go, but I am warming up to it. I dabbled in the JuCo a month ago and found women were very willing to pursue me but of course they want money quickly, most times to even just meet. Some average or below average woman wanting 400 just for a night... while I could easily afford it, I still seem unable to accept the tenet that "all men pay" and instead try…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 01:01 AM
1

Coach Greg Adams, YouTuber and author for men's issues.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 12:56 AM
1

I am about to go through this with my child's mother - she moved her boyfriend into her house immediately and I am sure he is paying her to live there as she has never not done that to her boyfriends when she owns the house. I am going to push for the "rent" she gets from him to be considered income. My understanding is that as long as he isn't a co-owner on the house, has a co-lease through a third party and doesn't have a lease agreement with her to split operating costs/utilities equally, him…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 12:50 AM
2

CS is gross income in all cases. Alimony I believe is taxed and is tax deductible as well and therefore it may be based off net - I can't say for sure though. You should push all your income through an LLC and go 1099. Perhaps future goals... of course an attorney would never give you this advice...
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 12:45 AM
6

To jump in here: hire a lawyer, bro, as she's responsible for your legal fees, too, being the breadwinner and potentially at-fault. She best settle quickly - half of the assets, alimony, CS, 5050 or greater custody for you. Dems the laws for SAHM, which is basically what you are. Should be an easy win, good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 03:11 PM
1

Yeah okay, I dont know what gaslighting means. Stfu. The correct amount of child support is zero under a 5050 custody schema. Hell in the world of no fault divorce I'd go so far as to say that the person filing for divorce gets nothing - no custody, no child support, no alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 03:23 AM
2

This is exactly the move. 💯 aligned. You don't want a father for your children? K bye. Men are either a father or an ATM. In marriage they're both, in divorce you can try to pick one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 06:55 AM
1

This is gaslighting. A father's contentment and staying motivated in life is more important. A child seeing their father remain successful and resilient is one of the most important things a child can see. I still think about to this day how much of just a plain sulking loser my father became when he and my mother divorced when I was 5. I'd rather he be happy with his life but instead he just gave up. Anyway, please, adopt my kid, raise them "right", then, when she nukes your step family and goe…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 06:52 AM
2

I am with you, framing CS as mostly a daycare and babysitting payment has been the only way I have been able to stomach it easily. I keep telling myself if I were alone and had sole custody, I would still have to pay the same amount (or more!) for daycare and babysitting, so it's okay. Whether she gives me the custody schedule we agreed to... that's another story.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 06:40 AM
1

What's wrong with 35%? Because at most all I will ever be is a part time parent now. I also don't want nor care to have the child more than that? Now that I have reopened litigation I am going for 5050 (still a part-time parent) since my ex won't even give me 35%.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 08:03 PM
3

Honestly, I am certain I will get into it when they go AI-powered. The interaction with the housekeeper/wife/ai in BladeRunner would be a dream, I could fall in love with that and be content for the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:43 PM
4

Then just say no, let's go to trial. There's no requirement to come to any sort of agreement in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 07:45 AM
6

Hey, I know in another comment I said walking away might be a strategy - but if you're willing to go to mediation, don't just give up, brother. Most states have laws that say joint custody is in the best interest of the child. If you're able to defeat the false accusations and just try to get custody of your kids, you will get some, potentially even 5050. When you cede and just say "take the kids" is the way most men lose, by refusing to fight. It is either ghost or "die on the hill" of 5050 imo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 06:32 AM
9

You're not a piece of shit for thinking that. That's our gynocentric society gaslighting you into believing you should "die" for your kids essentially at the hands of a vindictive babymomma terrorist - just accept your fate as an ATM-slave, bish, at the foot of the golden padussy - why should men have to sacrifice everything just to have a shot at equal custody of their kids? There comes a point when men should realize the battle is just unwinnable, and it is best to just "wash your hands".... y…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 06:19 AM
2

If she put that intent in writing, that's grounds enough to reopen the case and motion to enforce. "Based on information and belief, this person intends to do x" by the time they get the judge's attention, it will be July and will have escalated to the point where he could just motion for cause/contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:59 AM
1

Absolutely. Like other comments have said, if the tables were turned, she would sue you. I am literally engaged in this right now. A parenting plan, ordered or even if just signed and notarized is NOT optional. This agreement is binding. See if you can get her to put in writing that she has suspended the parenting plan. Mine was dumb enough to do that and she is actively denying custody (I should have 35%, instead I am getting 4hr per week, if that). 3/3 lawyers I have consulted with so far have…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:50 AM
5

She wants a life insurance policy on you with her as a beneficiary? JFC, talk about a conflict of interest, what is the point of divorce? Creepy bish. No more mediation. Trial time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 05:33 AM
9

Good post. While CGA hasn't said this for a while: the maneuver your ex pulled regarding that incident with discipline of your child is "handing you the scissors", her calling a family member over was "appealing to the court of public opinion" and deploying a "toy soldier". She was absolutely planning to leave you and just trying to justify (destruction of your family and your children's future) to herself and her family. For me, it was mine screaming, literally at the top of her lungs, as soon …
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 04:17 AM
3

You should be entitled to alimony and CS too. The notes of my root comment are absolute, if it goes to trial, this is what you would get.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 11:32 PM
5

You are entitled to half of the joint assets. You are entitled to equal custody of your children. You are entitled to alimony if you made less. These are the facts of most divorces. Want a different arrangement? What is she willing to give you? You get less assets but you get primary custody and alimony? That's more reasonable and an actual compromise.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 10:28 PM
2

Not divorce but custody and child support of 1yo. Originally began in Nov '22. She dropped 5k on an attorney who scammed her good, by the time she got to serve me via publication and receive my response, the 4.5k$ was consumed. I spent 2k on an attorney to do my response. Thought she sucked, so I fired her. Convinced the ex to go pro se with me and we'd settle on a parenting plan in July '23. Obtained a notarized parenting plan (63/35 with agreed arrears of 6k, 1.2k/mo going forward, 1.5k of her…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:55 PM
1

That's a huge win, I am happy for you. This is how divorce should go - since attorney's fees were not mentioned, I take it you're both pro se?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:46 PM
5

Why?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 05:47 PM
9

A couple of sayings that apply here: Women can only serve one man/master at a time. She served you at one point, she's now serving him, she will serve yet another in due time. A leopard doesn't change its spots. Once a cheater always a cheater. She will cheat again for the "bigger better deal". Women resort to manipulation, subterfuge and lying to achieve their ends, it's just a survival tactic. This is because women lack the physical strength to be able to overpower men and therefore have to us…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 09:34 PM
12

It's actually super disappointing imo. The solution is right there in front of them and it's (arguably) easy and cheap to implement. Drop 30lb and most men would be interested. It's nothing like what men have to do in regards to attracting the attention of women - be fit, wealthy, own a house, be interesting, etc and even then that doesn't work on many women. Two years ago I briefly dated a couple of women who made the leap and recently lost 40lb+. One did it through weightloss drugs (ozempic?) …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/24 07:53 PM
10

Many of the other comments are excellent so the only thing I have to add is, in response to the title: "you can move away if you'd like, the kids are staying here, you can come back and see them as often as you'd like".
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 03:13 PM
2

Not disagreeing with you, so I hope I didnt come off that way. My ex also struggled with breastfeeding. By month 2 she was just pumping. I just think any sort of preference arguments which are gender-specific should be completely dismissed and not considered. Mothers and fathers are equal under the law, they have the same rights, there must be solid evidence to establish that 5050 custody is NOT in the best interest of the child. Hyperbolically - both parents should have the right to equally scr…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 06:09 PM
3

"Postpartum depression" is largely an excuse to behave in a garbage fashion and nuke your family's happiness in pursuit of your own. If society were serious about it, the mental health condition should mean you lose your rights to make life changing decisions that affect other people close to you because of how you feel - CGA talks about this frequently - why should someone who's diagnosed mental health condition(which could mean you are a danger to your children) be allowed to even have primary…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 05:53 PM
0

Absolutely. Even claims of a right to significant custody because of breast-feeding are bogus because they stem from the Tender Years Doctrine. To articulate and examine the claim - so do mothers who supply an inadequate milk amount also get to claim "I'm breastfeeding!" even though she's receiving most of her milk as donations or formula? If the father has the capability, experience and willingness to care for an infant at a time sharing level of 50%, they should get it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 05:40 PM
7

Absolutely. This is 100% a buzzer beater baby and a preying mantis. She is hoping to soak up a second one from OP on the way out before the first was even a year old, my ex tried that as well. I can almost promise she will do what mine did too and immediately find a broke but subservient simp to "do her bidding" - I find it absolutely laughable that there are simps out there who not only get with single mothers but who get with single mothers with very very young children - it's like bro, do you…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 01:55 PM
1

Don't pay for a nanny to appease her, it won't help and then it will establish a status quo that you will be forced to maintain after you are separated and divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 01:42 PM
2

I've always thought this right here is an insane double standard: Woman wants kid, doesn't have a Father for the child from the get-go: "okay, here's some sperm, we gotcha should you need anything" Man doesn't want a child: "pay your child support, you deadbeat!"
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:55 AM
1

Bro, don't even get me started on this. Their time to have kids was in the past. Then add on too that they will for sure cut you out of the kids life once they get the amount they want (and you'll pay for IVF and CS for 17+ years). My ex tricked me, got the one kid she wanted and [tried to] completely cut me out of the kid's life before she was even 1yo. I never would have given her a kid if I knew she only wanted one and wanted to use me in this manner (as I would argue after 30, they ALL do). …
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:50 AM
3

It's also reversible should you decide you want to, with approximately a 90% success rate. Me personally? I'll never have mine reversed. It's cheaper than a CS payment for most people and the recovery isn't all that bad.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 12:39 AM
12

This. Some women also deliberately target recently divorced men as a strategy. The Marriage Wheel is always in play, never get back on after you were able to get off.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 10:20 PM
2

Indeed. I had a wonderful time, even during the winter. I have been dying to go back so I may feast on Duck in a Can, Poutine and beer.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/05/24 03:52 AM
2

Just be careful, as that's obviously Canada. The family law there is insane for men - you can be getting legally divorced when you were never even legally married due to the loose common law marriage definitions. That said, when I was visiting Montreal (for a bachelor party, no less) about 5 years ago, several women hit on me in the bars and I got several numbers unsolicited.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/05/24 03:18 AM
3

404 instead of 304.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/05/24 04:07 PM
8

Occam's Razor would say it's therefore real. I mean, it isn't like the talking points exist because they're describing some fantastical condition - they're describing observable characteristics and this woman just happens to have all of them. KS: "you can't make this S up"
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/05/24 02:54 PM
10

I am proud of men, as her ratio on Bumble is what should be happening more often. Being that many men swipe right indiscriminately, it is fantastic that most stopped to look at say "nope".
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/05/24 04:55 AM
3

The probability of success in vasectomy reversal is 90%. Don't let these propagandists convince you that you've permanently sterilized yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:44 PM
3

My two cents - you don't know what the future holds and it is better to future proof yourself by just getting the snip snip. To the people saying "it isn't worth it". My procedure cost 1500 bucks and is equivalent to ONE month's child support payment to my ex. I have 180x more payments to make. For the record, my ex conceived on our second month of trying and while she nearly died due to pre-eclampsia before giving birth, she was 35 at the time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:40 PM
4

It's really weird to see their propaganda at work. A good friend of mine (a marriage worshipper) insisted that he knows several people who had failed vasectomies and despite doing occasional sampling still managed to impregnate their wife. I of course told him that the first thing I would do if I were that guy would be a DNA test and my friend insists "they did one and it was his kid". I still don't believe it, something is off. Anyway, the fact is vasectomy is the most effective form of birth c…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:34 PM
2

36 and "gaslighting" confuses me too!!! My mental model is also gas-lit street lamps as well! Lol It took me years to really grasp that it just meant someone provides so much misinformation to someone that eventually their target doubts themselves even though they're probably right. Even then I still don't feel as though I "grasp" the concept at 100% because it seems like it should be more complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 04:35 PM
16

If she won't sign the papers, time for summary judgement or default. We live in an empowered gynocracy and with that came no fault divorce - the other party does not have to consent to the ending of their legal union. With no kids nor assets it really is a no-brainer. I wish the best for you and a speedy recovery. Don't get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 05:16 AM
1

This is the best option. It will cost her thousands to investigate you and if you have been successful in hiding what is going on, she won't have any reason to think she can gain... and trust me, she is aware of plenty of women who have "lost" trying to score more. I threaten mine as an additional bluff with "I'll be a subpeonaing your boyfriend to find out how much he is paying to live in your house - that's income you never listed and our child is entitled to."
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:31 PM
0

Mine turns 40 this year. What gets me is my ex took a divorced man into 'her' home and I am certain she is having him pay her rent. The guy has never owned a home himself. Between the child support he pays his ex (1k) and the rent he pays mine(probably 1k, she wont tell me the amount because I threatened to pull it in as her income when she files for a modification), he must have nearly nothing leftover as he only makes 50k. I kinda feel sorry for the guy, as when she inevitably dumps him, he'll…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 07:04 PM
1

It's gone. Your marriage is over. You can't decide you want a divorce, go back on that decision and then decide once more that you want it. Using your marriage (your family) like a bargaining chip to essentially control and manipulate him is a bridge too far. You need to get divorced. There are a bunch of questions more I could ask regarding the circumstances but I will stick to this comment - if this man is supporting your family together with his income and he has decided this new role is in h…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 10:21 PM
2

I see two objectives here which are typically contradictory: you can't have a woman want to divorce you and not want to hurt you. Divorce is an attack, it's pain, it induces strife, these terms are synonymous even in "amicable" divorces. To answer your question, directly, there is a very easy way to make her want divorce: misbehave. Send your money energy attention and time (MEAT) to an outlet she does not want it going to. The most common default "outlet" women resent MEAT going to is another w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 05:12 PM
1

She's definitely killing it in terms of ensnaring men. Got me for 1k/mo, and I am sure she has her new boyfriend is paying her 1k/mo rent to live in the house with his kids - she wanted to charge me "rent" back in the day when our daughter was born but I told her to kick rocks (since I lived in my own house) and I would only split costs for the kid. I have confronted her multiple times to cement a family with this new man, get married and have more kids.... in a couple months she will have been …
/r/MensRights18/04/24 04:47 PM
2

You're doing the right things in my opinion. Do not leave until you have court orders for 5050 custody. Maybe offer to just settle out of court for that? It took 18 months of wearing my ex down to get her to just settle out of court - by that time, unfortunately, the damage to our child was already done. Another purely stupid aspect about my situation was that the new boyfriend she moved in literally weeks after locking me out had 5050 custody of his children, or so she claimed at the time (I sa…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 04:36 PM
3

Maybe that advice is correct in terms of "how do you prove they're not giving RoFR to you?" But that's not how I am approaching it. Said "privilege/right" would enable a parent to show up and rightfully receive custody of the child when they're not in the other parent's custody. So a babysitter, grandparent etc would have to immediately relinquish custody if the other parent demanded it, which now that I am thinking about it, a custodial parent already has anyway. Certainly the babysitter/grandp…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 02:57 PM
1

The idea of a soon to be ex wife spending time with children she will soon have no legal access to makes me uncomfortable. People change when getting divorced and next thing you know: she deletes your kids out of anger toward you and hatred of their mother. I'd immediately go full restraining order and no contact for her - being a step parent, there's no way she will get any custody of the kids unless she assumed responsibility by adopting (which almost all bio mothers wouldn't willingly allow).…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 05:07 AM
6

It's sad. As you're predicting, she absolutely exploded in an unhinged rant over email (unusual for her) when I confronted her with that report containing interview testimony showing she was using other people to keep the kid away from me as I had predicted all along - it also explained why she intentionally removed the "right of first refusal" from the parenting plan. As CGA has said, many people are complicit in helping mothers alienate their children from their father.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 04:30 AM
1

Yup. DDay speaketh. OP, definitely do not make these deeply-postwall women the priority in your life - if she's willing to risk losing what few men will date her, let her, she'll find herself single and alone most likely. I might be talking out of my azz on this, but in my perception, at that age, the ratio of single women to single men (willing to date them) has to be something like 2:1 or worse. I can tell you for a fact: once I get to that age I'd only "date" those women if they were wealthy …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 07:06 PM
1

You are in a really bad spot. Like bad as in like my worst nightmare bad; I'm sorry you're going through this. If you don't make some major and uncomfortable changes now, you're going to basically be a 'slave' for life. There is still time to recover, and I think there's hope for you - being that you recognize you're probably being a whiny millennial, you are (and I say that as a fellow Millennial who also whines sometimes). As an aside, my ex's boyfriend's circumstances could almost be a perfec…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:42 PM
12

Depending on the circles you run in today & at this moment, the rates of divorce/separation fluctuate wildly. Their happyness means nothing(I'd even say "good for them"), it's mostly just appearances at the end of the day. As CGA says, basically 99% of relationships ("marriages") have failed already or will fail. If I may share my anecdotal experience and status at 36yo: I have zero divorced friends at the moment. My circle of friends is about half un/never-married men, the rest are "happily" ma…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 09:14 PM
7

It gets even wilder, college-educated women file for divorce at a 90% rate instead of the 75-80% that is discussed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 03:37 PM
20

Women and simps push the narrative that women wanting a man defines his self worth. This is evinced by the ever-so-popular term incel. The reality is, like you said, the pursuit of women or seeking their validation is a waste of time. Inevitably what you do for her, what you bring to the table, will eventually become insufficient and the person deciding the insufficiency hasn't "grown" themselves in the ways men generally desire, typically the exact opposite. Men need to be driven to achieve for…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 12:38 AM
1

I jokingly call this the "conquerer theory" in human sexual evolution, it's an RP talking point. Like you said, it makes logical sense that women who were "ride or dies" with their previous mate were eliminated by the conflict and thus their gene lines ended there as the children would also perish. Thus in our past evolutionary behavior, it doesn't benefit women at all to be permanently attached to men who are "gone" because they won't have any more of those men's children, he can't 'provide and…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 10:20 PM
3

Expecting an adversary to reciprocate kindness and understanding is a very poor strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 09:00 PM
1

Hey, just wanted to say a couple of things - I actually admire how you have things going for you. New kitty is the best way I have personally found to get over a woman you actually loved. Ultimately though screw these women trying to control you, eventually all of them let the mask slip in some way after a while. It's good that you "dump" them before they dump you. Each time I have done that I had reached various levels of disgust with them and how they put on a facade to what they're manipulati…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 07:06 PM
7

36M. Bro. What the heck? You have all of the time in the world, it's women our age who are out of time. One of those women got me, and they can get you too if you let them - I've plowed through several since my ex who let me shoot up the club raw. The child I gave her will likely be her only child (and mine, since I got a vasectomy). My reward? 17 years of child support, amounting to over 300k or so and at most being a part-time dad. What did this experience teach me? I didn't actually want to b…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 06:50 PM
6

Listen. As long as more men than women are losing in divorce, the laws will not change. Don't waste your time on this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:07 PM
5

Yeah, even if it isn't court-ordered she should be contributing something. something. Lord knows she'd make you do it...
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 07:22 PM
3

I loved this. I wouldn't even have answered her question about some of the home's equity being given to her, making her ask again ("did you hear me?"), to which I would respond with "a question that stupid isn't deserving of an answer"... but I'm definitely a dick and bad at Grey rocking.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 07:21 PM
6

Sorry to hear that you've been exposed to a Gray divorce. I feel for you - the fact that I still have time to recover is one of the few things keeping me motivated nowadays. That is not to say you're alone though, many boomers are experiencing Gray divorce, per CGA it's actually the fastest increasing demographic of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 02:32 AM
2

It's literally the dumbest thing they could do to leave without a new branch (dick) to grab onto - very very few are actually that stupid. The reason I say that is because just look at the dating market place on the dating apps. While I realize these women most likely aren't single with reasonable certainty they are looking for a relationship. Months upon months later... the same ones I saw months prior still there (and I am certain theyre active since some of them I actually talked to). Not to …
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 09:23 AM
3

I'm referring to the total assignment of CS from birth to emancipation (18). Other guys call it an "annuity" for single mothers - that's exactly what it is - these people no qualms with eliminating the father from the life of their child, they decide you're worth more absent than present. My agreement with my ex is for 1.2k/mo for my 1 daughter that I have 35% custody of. The calculation on that is 1.2k/mo * 12mo/yr * 18yr = 259.2k . My ex won a cheap house essentially tricking me into giving he…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 01:09 AM
0

I have a couple comments; I'm apprpximately your age and have many of the same feelings. Should you blow it up? Probably. This stuff doesn't improve on its own. Just make sure you are willing to sign on the dotted line when it comes to the consequences (child support, alimony, half of your assets). The penalties will be steep (maybe pay a lawyer to help you project what your penalties will be, but you can project this on your own relatively easily) but you're basically realizing them (and more) …
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 12:24 AM
5

I think most of what is affecting us is just psychological. At 35 I still struggle to emotionally accept that none of these women are actually interested in me but rather what they can fleece from me(resources, a child, etc). They're just leveraging their p-sleeve as a loss-leader. My circuit to form an emotional connection with them is gone and this has bled over into me desiring them. My gear still works though, solo I am completely fine. I think I just don't desire actual women much anymore, …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 08:52 PM
1

It's downright predatory when you see the signs.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 08:32 PM
5

This is what I do! "Sweetie, I don't know what's wrong, I've been shooting up the club, I don't know why you aren't pregnant yet. Maybe you need to do a gyno visit?" Got 6mo of unlimited action from a fwb who believed she was going to snag 300k+ in CS for the price of a couple of steaks and beers. Women after 30 shouldn't be having kids (philosophically and physically). They missed their chance. My ex's geriatric pregnancy nearly killed her at 35 (fr, 2 week hospital stay at 28 weeks) - fortunat…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 08:31 PM
2

Popp's ex wife stole his dog too. The evil some of these people have in them...
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 12:30 AM
2

If it is any consolation and a stab at dark humor: she's just embracing that there are cats and boxed wine in her future.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 03:00 AM
3

It doesn't matter if she signs it. That isn't how divorce works - the feminists got their no fault divorce - it only takes one party to want to leave the marriage now. You need to file immediately and if she refuses to play ball, just default her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 01:59 AM
9

Bro really needs to file immediately. With the strange D she's probably picking up, if she gets pregnant, he's the presumed father and it's an even bigger battle.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 01:57 AM
7

70hr work weeks. Are you kidding?!? I have done that before for a couple of months at a time and that is miserable. You are working waaaay too hard and that's probably one of the reasons she is unhappy. You're a driven person if this is true and many other women will be lining up to sink their claws into you - you're essentially an ATM/slave. Do you have any kids? If you dont, oh my goodness, divorce asap and DO NOT get her pregnant. You really do need to divorce because she's out banging other …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 01:50 AM
1

CGA is Coach Greg Adams. He's a YT content creator, has a twice-daily podcast, author, father, divorced man. He's the only personality that I have literally committed hundreds of hours to listening to and >1k dollars, he's helped me accept what it is to be a man and to embrace masculinity. He also helps men see their marriage was destined to fail, as virtually all do. Checkout his segment on the "marriage wheel" if you're interested in getting started. Just know that your marriage failing is at …
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 05:04 PM
2

Sorry youre going through this and I'm not telling you what to do here but you probably need to divorce. One party cannot threaten to nuke the marriage because of boundaries - rather that's a boundary that should never be crossed. As CGA says, just the mere utterance or threat of divorce should be reason to divorce - "more men need to start divorcing women and stop staying until they divorce us" and "they are already telling you what they're going to do, they just haven't been able line up a bat…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 11:04 AM
2

Job loss should be no excuse for cessation in her contribution or at the very least her income should be imputed to minimum wage. Sounds like you're trying to so that though with the capacity for employment evaluation.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 10:56 AM
1

I wanted to add that not only is child support paid with after tax dollars but the "basis" for any deductible reimbursements is from her pretax. So she spends a dollar, gets 50 cents from me and then is able to get another 30 cents or so back in a deduction on her taxes - ignoring any other extra discounts. Her net payment was 20 cents while mine was 50. 1.5x hers It's all a big scam.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 10:51 AM
2

This is the only valid solution.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 04:00 AM
1

I'm currently in monk mode - let my fwb go - told her I was moving across the country for work, but I was actually moving because my ex and I agreed on custody and CS of our 3yo. This fwb was openly trying to baby trap me, I didn't give a shit because I am snipped so I gladly shot up the club and shrugged when she expressed concern "why am I not pregnant yet?!" 6mo into our situationship. Her behavior was actually quite off-putting when I think deeply about it - good thing I'm shooting blanks, w…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 05:06 AM
1

I have two comments: 1. I would try to negotiate some sort of per diem/moving stipend for having "moved to TX for work". I realize that a 20k signing bonus basically includes that but I would ask for more. DHS may be more willing to pay you per diem than the other "departments of ..." I have worked for. And I hate to seem like a downer, but having a child with a Western Woman was the worst thing I have ever done to myself. I am thankful that you didn't with your ex, it would have been much worse…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 11:23 PM
1

The new boyfriend is not the other party in the lawsuit. I would love for them to be - then their income can be factored into child support calculations.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 09:35 PM
1

I could barely see myself ever being an ltr again - I just dont see the value in it anymore - nowadays when I get bored of a woman after about 6mo I just replace her. I don't live in a mindset of scarcity anymore though. The only possible way to be protected (rather: reduce) CS is to have an income that is not transparent and has to be established externally. Most men don't have that or the ex knows enough to give someone leads on finding it. Even then, the best case scenario would be them imput…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:32 AM
7

I used to have that hope, like you. Truth is you can have kids and a family outside of marriage - I did, and she still blew it up. Now I get 15 more years of CS and can be at most a half-time dad. One of my deepest regrets in life that our child has basically been punished because mommy "wasn't happy"; I would have gotten a vasectomy at 18 if I knew this would eventually be the outcome of being a father (and it is for 50%+ of them). Hire a surrogate if you want kids. Marriage in The West is dead…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:23 AM
4

I agree with this, the better answer is to relocate out of a common-law area and just don't remarry.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:18 AM
1

No. It doesnt even matter who either of us are or our lived experience, ultimately. This is about managing risks (probability x consequence) as best you can and that means minimizing the consequence at this point. Going back to someone who had proven she will hurt you (probability =1) as much as she can, is just asking for her, rather - potentially allowing her to do as much damage as she is capable of inflicting under the law. This guy's marriage is over. It most likely cannot be saved and quit…
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 12:14 AM
4

What's the original source of this copy pasta trash?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 11:29 PM
3

This is dumb advice. The men here provide insight based off experience. Yes it is true they could reconcile but even if that does happen, how long will that last? Will the damage be worse the second time now that she's had more time to prepare? This guy's wife has been divorcing him for 8 months. The only reason why anyone (not just women) do a 180 in regards to something that significant is because something didn't work out as they had thought it would - that something might be as benign as the…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:56 PM
4

It's a death knell for your marriage or relationship when her friends or family tell her she can do better. It's insane to me that they put so much stock in what those people think - almost like having them envy her for her mate is the goal all along.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:53 AM
3

Hope strategists think that just because they haven't got annihilated yet that it won't happen to them; and that you must have done something wrong because it happened to you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:48 AM
1

Ah a loser necro-ing a thread to namecall. Having a father for your child is a privilege, not a right. I send her 1k/mo because I recognize that the child isnt free. She thinks it's much more than 5% of my income but I can wipe my ass with that money. Proud deadbeat is right!
/r/MensRights04/02/24 12:40 AM
1

Why not just do it now? Tell them you are going to at the very least.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:04 AM
1

This is weird that you're critiquing me when you're clearly the one who's wrong. Can you even do math, dude? 1 million women being owed just 1k each is over 1 billion dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 11:14 PM
2

I will delete my comment since no one's dating prospects/opportunities should be affected by their choices.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:25 PM
2

I meant exactly what I said - maybe she'd let herself go and the variety of options just wasnt there anymore? It happens. Many try to cope and say "well I don't want to date anyway [because I need to focus on my kids, career, mental health, etc]". They actually should do that imo. The truth is though that they would most likely be dating if they had someone who met their standards. Albiet I am sure you are exposed to many more women than me, since I believe you are one, I know of not one persona…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:10 PM
6

Your sister is a unicorn - I question was she even desirable though? How long of a timeline are we even talking until "the kids get older"? While I do acknowledge these women exist, I know of not one who "decided not to re-enter the dating scene to concentrate on themselves and the kids." 100% of the women I know (including my mother) covertly or overtly had someone in mind to replace their husband when they divorced and while I know this is an anomaly, approximately 95% of the divorces I am sec…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 06:50 PM
1

Happy for you man. Glad to hear that it eventually worked out, so to speak, for you. I recall that my mother basically lost her mind after my brother and I were done living with her and left the nest and that child support dried up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 07:10 AM
1

I actually have two locales for reference - a metro in TN and NM. The departing comments have been "your child is too young", "you need to focus on your daughter" or "I wanted to meet someone without kids". I agree, is weird that they all seem to care about my 3yo daughter - the only way I can explain it is that they want access to that sweet sweet CS check in a baby trapping maneuver (these women are primarily 30-36yo) kinda like I believe my ex pulled on me: got the kid and bounced before our …
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 06:29 AM
2

It's meant to mean "junior college". It's a Coach Greg Adams (CGA) coined-term. The real meaning is just women you pickup on SA or as a sugar baby who are frequently much younger and easier (because they're directly compensated for their presence).
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 06:19 AM
1

There are a lot of butthurt female lurkers here. They regularly downvote posts, especially when guys say they're successful or happy post-divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 06:16 AM
6

My friend, I made a post like this the other day in another sub. It's even worse when you have at least one child too. I'm done with attempting to "date". JuCo/Sugar Babies only from now, they're the better deal anyway. To take a step back, I actually get a rather large number of "matches" on the dating apps. Much more than I ever remember getting in my late 20s and early 30s before. I'm 35M, fit, make as much as some doctors as an engineer... anyway, once these women find out that I have a 3yo …
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 11:21 PM
7

This is one of those instances in life when I think the idiom "you make your own truth/reality", applies. You may never have the actual answer and you may always be missing all of the data pieces, so just conclude whatever you want if it will help you. You need to just move on from what actually happened because it doesn't undo anything that's been done. I chose to believe that my ex cheated on me. She has vehemently denied it in the limited confrontations I had with her on it. But she was behav…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 07:30 AM
1

100% of your comments on this thread have to do with The OrangeMan, while the root makes no mention of him. What's with the non sequitur?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 09:42 AM
0

Just accept the deal and move on; it's close enough to zero. Ultimately in family law and child custody you take an L because you have a dick. And eventually the child care does end, too - modification incoming - why spend 5k for a trial? Good job finding the paper trail of cash deposits, rest assured she won't make that same mistake again. If you want some objective evidence to feel that you actually have an exceptional deal on your hands: My ex's boyfriend has 5050 custody of his kids. He make…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 09:31 AM
4

Dude. She was gone 16+mo ago. She's trying to have multiple orbiters around her for 2x+ the supply - why even go therapy at this point? No woman has a golden padussy even though they all seemingly try to convince you of it. She is not special at all. Open the dating apps. Smash some easy tail and then you may realize (like I did) that you aren't even that interested in women anymore because they ultimately add little to nothing to your life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 09:21 PM
6

At this point, since she has had ample time to sell, it's time to force a sale and/or have his portion be paid out by her. Wasn't there any terms related to this described in the divorce decree? Have her take out a home equity loan and buy out his half.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 09:16 PM
3

This. At the very least, you have tenant rights to your domicile in NYC.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:34 PM
4

You need to watch the Marriage Wheel by Coach Greg Adams on YouTube; your wife got what she wanted and you're in the final stages of your marriage and she's handed you the scissors. It's time to take the RP.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:33 PM
4

It is typical; although, I received two free consultations. I hired the one that my friend referred me to (which got me the free consultation) for about 3mo until I fired her - ultimately I became fixated on several comments she made that I found gross and offputting: "I prefer male clients because they have the money" and "your ex is entitled by law to know everything about you if you want any custody of your daughter and the fairest deal in child support". The fuuuuu? That was eye-opening to m…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:24 PM
5

He'll still owe something and if she actually wants a kid, it's a subsidized kid at the very least.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 10:49 AM
2

It's not legal for her to change the name without your (the other parent's) consent. It's purely a feminist move and a power play. My ex gave our daughter her last name and I refused to sign the birth certificate because of it (we weren't married, so I could refuse). To this day I still haven't signed the birth certificate of my daughter. Ultimately though, while by default children should have their father's last name, it doesn't really matter; the kids can always change their name later if the…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 07:49 AM
6

PI and then subpoena the boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 07:29 AM
5

I will oversimplify this for you: no kids, no debt and otherwise no other reasons to tie you to this woman. Therefore you will become A FREE MAN by getting divorced. As far as women not wanting you? Are you serious? 28-35 women are a dime-a-dozen and they just want kids. Shoot blanks into them for 6mo and they'll be none the wiser until you move on to the next.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 03:43 AM
2

You have tons of options still, last of which should be self-deletion, if you're considering that. First and foremost, if youre wanting to go the "I want to be a good father" route, your child is being actively alienated against you. If you're not willing to attack this, then honestly, going pro se and getting this over as fast as possible might be worth it... I dunno (I'm not really convinced lawyers do much at all aside from providing a barrier to court processes)... I personally have already …
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 01:24 AM
2

I think that's an oversimplification of the consequences - multiple court orders would be required to be violated before you could get to that point and I dont think the IRS is the entity which could seize those assets pursuant to CS/alimony. Literally it would take most courts >6mo to do anything to go after someone if they started extracting money today, longer if they had no information regarding their whereabouts - took my ex 5mo to even serve me via publication, for example. While I haven't…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 09:53 PM
4

35M here. It's because men are nothing more than utilities to women at the end of it. I think about what you're suggesting every day. Ultimately I am pretty content with almost no amenities or comforts so it is possible I may one day just say F it and disappear/ghost. Heck I basically have done that for the last year. My ex isn't as awful as yours appears to be; she and I recently filed to dismiss her parentage lawsuit against me - I will just pay her the 1.2k/mo that she wants and she'll give m…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 09:44 PM
3

Reading their other posts, which skew strongly nonsequitur - this has to be a bot. I'm reporting to mods.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:46 PM
1

You might try heated mattress pads/blankets too if you have a source of electricity.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:45 PM
1

The system is intentionally setup to be confusing as possible to people who aren't normally exposed to it - so lawyers can charge (mostly men since men pay) hundreds of dollars per hour to literally file motions that anyone can file themselves without a lawyer. When I had a lawyer, she was so incompetent that she couldn't even file the correct paperwork. Rip off. Meanwhile, my ex and I filed a motion to dismiss her parentage lawsuit last week (it's my kid and I will provide support and receive c…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 02:43 AM
3

That's an insane L. You should get more custody and child support from your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:27 PM
3

Friend, you're owed child support in most states with that income disparity.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:26 PM
2

It's easy for them! You're seen as worth more to them divorced than married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:18 PM
-2

Won't come to fruition. I remember RISUG in the early 2000s - still hasn't happened in the US. RISUG is arguably superior to hormonal birth control in every way. Just get a vasectomy.
/r/MensRights19/12/23 06:11 AM
1

I don't understand the reference. A vasectomy is not an orchiectomy.
/r/MensRights19/12/23 06:06 AM
2

5050 timeshare/custody?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 05:09 AM
2

1200/mo for one child (in a Western State). Covers general CS "slush", health insurance and daycare for the child. Extra expenses split equally. Mother makes 110k (+10k/yr if you consider her boyfriend's rent to her). I make 240k, however, she thinks I make 160k. We settled out of court and without court orders (yes, I know I am taking a risk that she could come after me and claim she never got anything - I accept that). Per the state's worksheet, I am paying 80% of what the state says I should …
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 04:57 AM
-7

Uncircumsized so only half-mutilated being a post-vasectomy. Appreciate the reference though. The vasectomy procedure is overall amazing. It's fast (~15 mins) and arguably it's extremely cheap (cheaper than a single child support payment even with some custody of my daughter), 1.5k. There are no pills to remember to take, no Jimmy hats to put on, it's basically fool-proof. Nothing in life is guaranteed. The vasectomy itself may not even work (multiple friends have fear-mongered me on it - still …
/r/MensRights19/12/23 04:35 AM
-11

And yet you're willing to mess with your endocrine system potentially resulting in long term consequences such as truly permanent infertility and even death to hope for a "reversible" hormonal birth control for men. Anyway, now do the failure rate on having custody of the kids you create in the West from your marriage. If you're so deadset on retaining your ability to be a father, just knock up some chick and get it over with. I did. Then you can regret your decision afterwards and get that vase…
/r/MensRights19/12/23 04:05 AM
-26

Bullshit. I would consider >90% to be reliably reversible. Fact check me all you want. Most articles will readily cite 65-90% reversibility. And obviously the ability to reverse it goes down over time and I will tell you one thing - the more time goes on, the more certain I am that I never want it reversed. If you're really scared about being unable to reverse it, sperm bank it as a backup. If there is anyone spreading misinformation: it's you. Anecdotally, the one person I know who had theirs r…
/r/MensRights19/12/23 03:45 AM
-35

Just get a vasectomy. It's reversible and women can't easily tell you've had it done. Not getting it earlier in life is one of my biggest regrets. Edit, because the downvotes amuse me - most of you won't even have children, the ones that do, have at least a 50% chance of having reduced custody of them by the time they're 18, and subsequently being placed on child support. Why not pre-empt the condition and get the snip snip rather than depending on some "pie in the sky" birth control to 'protect…
/r/MensRights19/12/23 03:22 AM
5

I think no CS (aside from splitting extra expenses) in a 5050-custody situation is fair. However, some states don't see it that way, seeking to "preserve" the lifestyle the kids are accustomed to. What does Texas say? I know they're one of the few states that have a cap overall on child support.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 01:27 AM
1

It only takes one woman to make you pay for all of the others. Relationships with Western Women are literally a roll of the dice and rest assured, when it goes south, the legal system is not on your side should they choose to leverage it. Men basically have no rights at all.
/r/MensRights18/12/23 12:50 AM
1

Look, if you want to depend on the hope strategy(denial of red pill/black pill ideas), go for it. Statistically, it won't end well for you, but of course you can make your own decisions. They have blue pill subs as far as I know. I'm not much older than you. Around 30, I decided to tone back my red pill thoughts a bit (maybe purple pill?) and go for having a family with a nice Christian woman. By 34, I found myself babytrapped and with an ex girlfriend demanding child support at approximately 2k…
/r/MensRights17/12/23 08:52 PM
1

Those are my favorite. They'll burn soooo hot for 3 to 6mo and then you just dump em when theyre stale. Make sure you go in with a covert vasectomy too though, because rest assured they're pushing for the babytrap when they let you shoot up the club.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 03:49 PM
1

You can try. Good luck enforcing that. "Your honor, she moved her boyfriend in before they have been in a relationship for 90 days!" My ex tried to pull that shit by having ME wait until I was in a relationship with a new woman for 90 days before I could introduce our daughter to them. Meanwhile she waited a whole two weeks after she kicked me out to move a new man into the house to actively care for our daughter. I settled her request quick - "I have several women I have been in a "relationship…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 01:32 AM
3

Mine specifically refused to give me some pieces of furniture I paid for. Lo and behold a year and a half later she asks if I would want them. I told her "nope they're yours"... and then I saw her boyfriend selling them on FB. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:32 AM
6

Never give someone a second chance to finish you off.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 06:28 AM
19

Several states have ended lifetime alimony, several governors have issued mandates that custody is awarded 5050 unless a truly compelling reason exists to deny it, and at least one state in the last year passed a law to require DNA tests at birth for unmarried couples to place a father's name on the birth certificate. Wins have happened.
/r/MensRights12/12/23 05:33 AM
5

I will admit that I am absolutely terrified that my buddies with SAHM will end up getting totally screwed should they get divorced. That said, it seems wild, but SAHM I believe are the least likely to drag out divorces from some statistics shared by a [female] divorce lawyer. She said the worst at the women who have careers who suddenly have to pretend to need sole custody of the kids - educated women (with careers) also are responsible for filing for divorce 90% of the time instead of ~80% amon…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 06:24 AM
4

Yeah for sure. It's unfortunate we all had to suffer to find out that we weren't alone and there's a large community of men that can empathize. Anyway, I'm in a very niche field of engineering and the feds require my role to be present as oversight on major projects that they're funding. My client was having significant difficulties finding someone for the role and so it was kinda a "name your price" dealio, they were so desperate that they let me also say "and I want this to be 75% remote work,…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 12:47 AM
11

Very true. When I was still emotional about being dumped(for no good reason), I warned my ex that she was permanently downgrading to a lesser man by dumping me - our child's father - "because ain't no man at my level gonna sign up to raise another man's young child with a postwall single mother". To this day she still occasionally references my comment as "cruel and wrong". I wasn't wrong though. My "replacement" makes 50k and owes his ex wife 1k/mo in CS. I haven't made less than 50k/yr as an a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 09:24 PM
21

Women are rarely able to ever 'do better' after divorce. Especially after 35. It might seem like they win in the short term - they quickly find (or already had) a new simp to smash them, they steal assets, they take child support, custody and alimony - but rarely does it actually work out for them in the long term. Per Pearl Davis, she cited a stat that 18% of divorced women remarry and only 22% ever convince a guy to cohabitate with them again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 07:09 PM
3

It is not that simple. These women will absolutely leave you as well and nuke your family without a care in the world. Many try to become a "born again virgin/Christian" after divorce. As CGA says, "there's no God in marriage". Many men can attest here that their church did nothing to help them in their divorce. Few examples from my life: My mother is a devout Catholic. She still divorced my father when I was 5 for essentially no good reason (she never cited any reason but my father has suggeste…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 06:55 PM
1

I'd change jobs and make her spend money to continue to garnish your wages.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 02:20 AM
1

The legal costs from my parentage lawsuit has cost me 2700 dollars so far. My ex has lost 1k. I shielded her from it being 2.5k by convincing her that we can just settle this out of court (requiring dismissal without prejudice) and she can fire her lawyer, which she did and I gave her 1.5k. We are both pro se at the moment. Here's the wild part - all of this money has been spent on only serving me with the lawsuit and responses. We're not even at the motion for DNA test yet (it's my daughter, I …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 10:49 PM
0

I bypass all of this bullshit now via a vasectomy. None of the women I sleep with now know I had the procedure, and I never tell them. My latest has given me an exercise on this issue by offering out of the blue "I took a pregnancy test today and it was negative". Which prompted the discussion: "wait so you're telling me you were expecting that you might be pregnant? Weren't we going to have a discussion first?" "I figured since you were just nutting in me that you were cool with having a baby."…
/r/MensRights07/12/23 04:23 PM
1

That would explain everything. Men should always DNA test 'their' kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 04:09 PM
3

A spin on hypergamy. She just has to feel she's getting a better deal with this other guy and the consequences be damned.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:36 PM
6

Birds of a feather flock together. Misery loves company. There is a saying out there that you are essentially the sum of the three people you are closest to and spend the most time with. I have found in my personal experience, intuitively, this holds true - I end up thinking about the world in similar ways as my friends, coworkers, family depending on how my inner circle is setup at the time. Ultimately what I am saying is - divorce is absolutely contageous. Single women want other women to be s…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 08:31 PM
2

Yeah look at them one last time and then just delete them. 18mo from now you'll have some other chick's and realize you don't give two shits about her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:46 AM
2

No kids? Holy smokes! Block. Or "Send nudes, notes and maybe we can meet" (we wont)
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 05:39 AM
1

Like the previous guy said, you're unlikely to be settled about child custody/support by the time your final child is 18. Since you're under no order not to do this, I would start by obscuring your income and hiding assets that you can. She's basically given you a warning that she's gonna divorce you - this is a spin on "being handed the scissors" - she wants you to file so she doesn't look like the bad guy, but this actually causes women to act out and be even worse which leads to more fights a…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 09:40 PM
0

I haven't 'participated' and the outcome has been amazing for me (couldnt have asked for better). I refused to sign the birth certificate for my daughter knowing that it'd put me on the hook for an easy CS lawsuit (and thank goodness she rejected my marriage proposal, too!). On top of this, I still ran away to protect myself from her lawsuit to sue me for child support. 16 months later, it worked perfectly - she's blown 5k$ on legal fees and hasnt even motioned for a DNA test yet (the kid is min…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 09:05 PM
1

Interesting reference but maybe that's what society deserves. As I recall, once the beautiful ones appeared, the society collapsed anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:10 AM
1

I'd just tell them I turned gay and that was my new lover. I've heard of no restrictions whatsoever on ex wives having boyfriends move in immediately and as long as they aren't registered sex offenders or drug abusers, I would think there would be no standing on restricting who else was in the house at all.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:06 AM
1

I'd tell her I'm not free anymore. She can buy me a nice steak dinner, present me with an STD test showing me she's clean and I would consider it. Then I'd pound her out and not bust.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:03 AM
2

The fuuuuuh???
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:01 AM
13

Bullshit. The only way to live to fight another day is to realize there are fights you cannot win and you need to 'run away'. Divorce and child custody sometimes for many men is just unwinnable. As long as men remain the primary perceived "victims" in divorce, no fault divorce will remain in the States. There is still too much money to be made from family law. The best way to send a message which could cause change is "no impregnation, no marriage and no cohabitation". This is already occurring …
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 09:19 PM
2

That is a valid critique about the Census. However, I do recall that I checked bench warrants for overdue child support in the state that is applicable to me and there were thousands upon thousands of entries and I got tired of scrolling. Considering the complexity of getting to that point, I still believe there are 10s of millions of obligors out there who owe billions. Regarding the defamation from your ex, a lot of women do that. It is technically an illegal activity and parental alienation s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 11:23 AM
1

Respectfully disagree, it is 10s of millions of parents. Source: US Census. Per them: Only 44% of parents are current on child support. Edit to add - it's even higher when you consider what isn't on the books. I am one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:44 PM
6

I am convinced that the more complicated enforcement of anything gets, the less successful it is likely to be. Kinda a spin of Occam's Razor. We talk all of the time about how failure to pay child support will eventually land you in jail and I have to say "while it is possible, that'd be quite a feat". Maybe it's the circle of people I know who've shared private stories with me but it seems the overwelming story is collection is easily foiled if you just try (or even if you dont). Maybe it's con…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:25 PM
5

By Thailand's heat, I think you mean high temperatures? I can confirm that, I was there for two weeks in November 2022 and yep it was pretty hot. That trip was so cheap though that I kid you not, it cost me more to board my dog in the US than a nightly stay in a 4 star hotel in Bangkok. Anyway, just checked and Australia is a signatory on the Hague Convention.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 10:10 PM
5

Alpha widow and "the boyfriend store" are the best analogies for what happened to Heidi.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/11/23 11:26 PM
11

The part that infuriates me about my experience having been "baby trapped" is the woman who got me also rejected my marriage proposal when she was 6mo pregnant and I still stayed with her for 10mo after that (for our kid) - but fortunarely I refused to sign the birth certificate. She had me paying "child support" to her while we were still in a relationship of 1k/mo. After she left me (I was worth more to her as CS, obviously) she demanded 2k/mo in CS and I told her to "F off and sue me" which s…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/11/23 07:51 PM
16

This attitude really is the key. Men need to abandon the scarcity mindset that curses them. More than half of the population is female, there is nothing scarce about padussy... and even if you can't "get it for free" they all have a price and most you can afford. Being placed on child support before my daughter was 1yo was the biggest wakeup call ever that free padussy can be extremely expensive and just isn't worth it. I got a vasectomy and all the women I dated since haven't known about it. I …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/11/23 04:47 PM
18

Not me either, it is within the realm of possibilities that I havent even had 100 "matches" on the dating apps in my life, at 35yo. Definitely not 100 dates with unique women, maybe 50 total, 20% of those led to something beyond a first date. From what I understand, I'm actually doing alright on the apps compared to other men. It's a guess as my results have definitely changed through the years because now I am clearly in the "beta bux" category: I actually get a decent number of right swipes, m…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/11/23 04:39 PM
1

I am aware of this. The way CS works in my state (of jurisdiction), parents can agree to an amount and the judge will agree - modifications don't even get scheduled for a hearing if the parents are in agreement. Anyway, a betrayal of this magnitude in the future(claiming arrears on CS the mother signed receipts for) would resort in me completely abandoning - "chase me for it". I already live 1500mi away and she's gotten almost nowhere on her current lawsuit in the last 15mo. I could just move to…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 01:37 PM
28

It's still wild to me that her "slowed down" experience as a post-wall is still better than the experience of desirable men.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/11/23 06:45 AM
1

You might see if she'd go for having some of the child support go into a 529C that you control. Currently trying to negotiate this with my ex. If child support were "fair" and actually for the child, the net recipient (the mother) should be using it to save for their child's college. But we know how accountable women are in regards to how CS is spent. Worth a try. Only a significant minority of states might make you pay for college tuition and those that would have the risk of your child aging o…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 03:39 AM
4

Refresh. Turn it over on FB marketplace. Almost half of the stuff I have now I acquired in the last year from there. I wanted to add this tid-bit, my ex recently reached out to me regarding a few pieces of furniture and the TV of mine she overtly refused to return... she said I could have them if I wanted, now, 18mo later. It actually upset me and it took all my will to say "nope, they're yours now".... why after 18mo of getting through life without those things would I want them back? Tbh I alm…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 01:53 AM
5

Bro, this story is far more complex than you're letting on and it's definitely not your fault alone. Many men, including myself have experienced scenarios similar to this. There are some important and painful truths you need to emotionally accept asap: She has already moved on a while ago. She is likely already emotionally cheating if not physically. She has your replacement in mind, he will appear in a few weeks or months, this is going to hurt, sorry. She has decided you're worth more as a CS …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 06:25 AM
3

I'm getting there. A year ago I was seething in anger at having been essentially replaced in my 1yo's life. Now, through the help and insight from guys like you and friends IRL, I see this man for who he is: he's a broke loser who's just, like you said, enjoying cheap poon and shacking up, essentially using my ex for his benefit. I think this dumbass might have also given up some custody of his kids to move in with my ex because back when I cared who he was, I saw in court records that his ex wi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 03:25 AM
2

I agree with this. As CGA would say, they hang you by the rope you give them. Give them next to nothing. "You want it? come get it". This strategy has been working so far for me but I just have a parentage lawsuit.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 07:16 AM
5

And, unfortunately I had to learn the hard way: do not have kids with them after 30, hell, I'd say not at-all if in the West. A vasectomy was the best thing I ever did for myself.
/r/MensRights22/11/23 06:18 AM
17

It sucks because there are good step fathers out there but men need to have a spine and demand their own children and refuse to be step fathers. At the end of the day, she probably wouldn't be with you if she didn't have another man's kids. So many men forget that - she's hoping you're stupid enough to not realize that she is settling for you.
/r/MensRights22/11/23 05:32 AM
1

You're the exception.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 02:29 AM
6

What is with women being oblivious to the contents of their legal orders? Many times they requested them! The only thing to tell her is NO.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 11:45 PM
3

Came here to post this. I am practically laughing over here (at the absurdity of her behavior) that she strangely thinks she is getting some kind of victory over you from marrying some guy after 10 hours together. What a moron. Let her lose and your kids will remember this. She is clearly doing this to hurt you - do not do not do not let her win by unaliving yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 06:08 PM
11

I came here to post this.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/11/23 05:57 PM
3

You can reject your oral red pill but when you're finally ready because you get really hurt, it'll be a surprise suppository.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:10 AM
1

Only person I personally knew who died at all in 2020-2023 was my vaxaholic stepmother-in-law who got my nephew-in-law illegally vaccinated for covid. She died in 2022 and had covid at least once after getting vaxxed. Karma as far as I am concerned - good riddance - always felt like she was a primary contributor to my marriage ending "you know you can divorce that asshole and get him for child support to the tune of 3k/mo - you can always remarry and find a good man like your dad even as a singl…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 08:38 AM
1

You do you. Sue away. Waste those college funds on legal bills. The more time that passes, the more covid appears to be one of the biggest scams ever. From the very beginning it was well documented that kids rarely contracted it and less common, suffered any long-term detriment. Has that changed??? Hey, ultimately, you can always just go get them vaccinated. [Shrugs] Many morons out there do nothing to verify that you have the legal right to obtain a medical procedure on a minor. Case-and-point:…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 08:26 AM
3

Now that would make more sense! Women are just so masculine nowadays
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 05:05 AM
7

Why does she have any idea what you're upto? Limit what she knows, now! It is unfortunate but one must understand that your ex spouse is now your adversary for life - the courts will legally back her to bring you down. I frequently tell mine that I am on the verge of bankruptcy and when I have our young daughter, it is in a trashy 1k/mo apartment. Meanwhile my income has increased nearly 100% since the divorce/separation and when I dont have our daughter, that apartment is essentially vacant.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 04:00 AM
1

Your governor is a hero. Is it De Santis? Just googled it! I knew it!
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 10:57 PM
3

Definitely like Truck Bed too! I briefly skimmed my favorites list on Spotify and here are some that I like and have listened to many times in the last year. Note though that my music tastes are kinda eclectic - blue grass, alt, country rap. Here Kitty Kitty by Twang and Round (prepare to lol) County Line by Overtime Bright Lights by Cannons Fifty by Franklin Embry Honey on My Tongue by Steep Canyon Rangers In Out Here by Ryan Waters Band On My Knees by Rufus Du Sol
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 04:40 PM
1

It doesn't sound like you're ready to be dating again, imo. Work on yourself for a while. Learn to be satisfied with who you are such that these rejections don't mean anything.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 01:22 PM
4

Sometimes I do write weird, or my syntax is unclear. I am the father.
/r/MensRights05/11/23 01:03 PM
1

They don't have to be, even close is fine. They were getting "unrelated".
/r/MensRights05/11/23 01:01 PM
5

Probable cause for requesting a test is biased and likely represents the maximum. However, someone (I think she's a purple pilled content creator) did a podcast recently where they reported that a DNA testing agency for organ donation found it was approximately 30%... that's a truly unbiased sample right there...
/r/MensRights05/11/23 02:13 AM
17

Yeah, don't even ask, just do it. I snuck one of my then 1yo daughter. To this day her mother still doesn't know that I know - heck she even offered to pay for a test if the kid turns out not to be mine - she's currently suing me for child support but fortunately since I refused to sign the birth certificate, as the child had her last name, her lawsuit has been going on for over a year and we may be about to settle out of court.
/r/MensRights05/11/23 02:08 AM
3

No Fault divorce with children must end, or a reform could be possibly that the person who invokes it cedes all custody initially to the respondent(typically the father). Children are hurt the most by no fault divorce; about the only thing I agree with tradcons on is marriage is for children. The American Psychological Association has found that death of a parent is easier to manage for most children than divorce - which is heartbreaking.
/r/MensRights03/11/23 11:33 AM
2

I will agree with that sentiment that it's a little strange, it is part of the reason why I have disavowed tradcons - they hate men too. (See many of them pushing laws for CS from the moment of conception) I think the reason blue states have done that (at least the one that is relevant to me, whose laws I am familiar with) is because they have adopted the largely nebulous approach to claiming "joint custody is in the best interest of children" which they can easily leverage to keep custody for t…
/r/MensRights03/11/23 11:19 AM
1

My friend, I can empathize as I'm going through something pretty similar, reading some of your other comments. We both got tricked by at-wall women intending to basically use us as sperm donors with a long-term annuity attached. What's helped me keep my head up is knowing my fallback plan will be to throw everything I have at my ex (she makes 115k) to get her placed on child support. You have the capability to basically have the same situation, too, in fact, you're clearly due much more custody …
/r/MensRights02/11/23 06:19 PM
2

Dude there are way too many simps for them to ever fully realize what it is like to be unable to get help from anyone - basically, to be a man. Case and point: within a month(if you believe that she didnt already know him) of kicking me out, mine found a guy to simp even harder than I was simping. He gave up his kids he had split custody of to move into the house and he makes like 25% what I do. Unfortunately for her, too, he's also clearly not as competent as I am, as I have seen him post "help…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 05:45 PM
0

"Be the bigger person". How about "no" or "maybe it's God's will that your mother perish". The American Psychological Association (ref link needed, presume citation is accurate because I dont want to locate the study) estimates that divorce negatively affects children to the same level as the death of a caregiver. The probability that she filed for divorce is +30% nominal. Therefore she willingly put the children through a knowingly traumatic event. In my book, not caring (as if caring actually …
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:13 AM
1

I'm just kidding, friend. Mistakes happen; I've made them too. It is important to teach these women that if they wanted husband-like service, then maybe they shouldn't have divorced them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:58 AM
2

The label of incel attached to men implies that a man's value is directly correlated to how many sexual partners he can acquire... if this is true then the inverse (female body count diminishes) is definitely true... yet women will tell you their body count doesn't matter. What's true?
/r/MensRights31/10/23 01:55 AM
2

Eh. Simp is still quite offensive as it implies desperation (via sacrifice of primal desires) well beyond incel level imo. I think it is implied an incel has boundaries... he's unwilling to pound out undesirable women. Edit, to add: I'm regularly called an incel (hilarious considering I have a child, a decent-sized body count and a current fwb). I have never been called a simp though.
/r/MensRights31/10/23 01:47 AM
3

About all you can do is hope that he legitimately cares about your child. That's free investment in your gene-line that doesn't cost you anything. Embrace it. Let it happen. Accept that there is nothing you can do, ultimately. Lastly, and I am sure that some are going to be mad by this: these men are losers! The only reason single mothers get with them is because they (the women) have declined so much in value that only these simps will give them a relationship... they can't get a childless woma…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:43 AM
2

Upvoted but was this post-divorce? If so you need a simp-smack. Like you said: let her friends and family deal with it now!
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:34 AM
8

As long as the group of women + blue-pilled simp men > general + red pilled men, there is no hope whatsoever of major overhauls to the family law system. Tennessee just passed a law which requires a DNA test for unmarried parents prior to placing a man on the birth certificate of a child. Arguably this process already existed if a man refused to sign thr BC - the courts could just adjudicate his parentage anyway - yet still many women opposed the new law citing that it is "not in the best intere…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 02:46 PM
2

Start with "The Marriage Wheel". It is one of his old videos from years ago. He recently rehashed this concept on a live stream but it is fundamental to understanding that your marriage failure is nothing really personal and for many is just an inevitable part of the process.... he often says "the divorce is planned before the wedding". Then, just look at his large collection of twice daily live streams. Besides helping you with "game", he's actually very entertaining too... I watch/listen every…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 05:10 AM
2

There are ways to keep the amount reasonable (and I do think some support is always warranted) but they will never be enacted because the system loves how Child Support is currently setup. Here' my approach for how I'd fix it: the support due child is capped at USDA calculated average cost of raising a child in the region. Assign 5050 custody at the rip. If a parent fails to assume their custody, they get assigned their portion of the child support (so ~50% of that USDA cost). Another approach w…
/r/MensRights27/10/23 12:09 PM
2

Child support is not worth it and runs directly contrary to your previously stated goal of making more money... assuming you accomplish that part, then you get to pay more child support! The probability that you end up on child support during your child's life is extremely high. I ended up 'on it' before my daughter was 1yo. Another important note is child support and custody are two separate topics. Just because you pay child support doesn't mean you even get to see your kids, infact the mother…
/r/MensRights27/10/23 12:06 AM
1

You're taking the wrong perspective/framing. She is still lower value now because of her baggage. Don't forget that she is competing with women 10yr younger for men's attention and resources. She's 35+ now, right? She's finished in the dating market if-so, most of these single moms never remarry, won't have more kids, and just will just get chewed up as 'target practice' by men or if they get a relationship, it is with a guy who's a loser-simp. This man left his kids because he is low value and …
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 10:58 PM
1

Now that her SMV has dropped substantially(aged up, had kids, divorced), sure she'll let an old simp from her past get some dips in. Try not to let it bother you, as you won. I kinda chuckle actually at how much of a loser my ex let replace me; pure, pure desperation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 09:58 PM
3

Be very careful bud. If you can have your big head take over before 30, you're doing great. It took my reckoning that I experienced at 33 for me to pull my head out of my ass... I'm 35 now. The wrong woman can be very dangerous for men and most women will be predispositioned to leech - it's just their nature. Men literally give and provide while women receive and nurture... it's who we are as the human species. Considering how young you are, there's almost nothing but upside for you in life - st…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 04:15 AM
2

Imo, 5050 should always mean no child support. However, ultimately, it depends on where you are but in most cases it is unlikely, as men typically earn more than women. In my circumstance, even the most generous legal outcome for me is 5050 custody and approximately 800/mo child support. My ex makes 110k, I make 250k now - to put numbers to it. It just points back to how I was deliberately targetted by this postwall woman, because any other man she had dated previously, including the man she is …
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 04:02 AM
3

Don't have kids with a Western woman!!! Omg - worst thing I ever did. At this point I will be lucky if I can scrape by and not pay 2.5k/mo in CS for 16 more years and get 5050 custody of my daughter. Keep in mind this woman basically stole the child from me, having left me before the child was 1yo, the child is 3yo now and the man she moved in as my replacement has literally had probably 2x more time with my child than I have ever had, at this point... and it's completely free for him. This care…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 03:51 AM
4

A good source of inspiration is the Free Agent Lifestyle. Spend some time with Coach Greg Adams (CGA) on YT. You will come to see your breakup as a gift from your ex - many men aren't so lucky but those of us that lost our SO prior to 35 can still rebuild from the wreckage. Don't look back. Marriage and long term relationships with women are a scam in the West and always will be; men lose bigly with >50% probability. You and I both dodged a bullet by never being married. I wreak my vengeance for…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 03:38 AM
6

Men are in love and women are in business. It is that simple.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 03:25 AM
18

Correct. It is amazing how they get the discretion to choose to be a sahm/w but if you suggest similar things for yourself as a man, she will 100% get the ick. It's a fun experiment to try with your girlfriend - ask if it'd be cool if you start a family and stay home for a while - not one I have asked has said that'd be okay. Professional women (sometimes with a lot of debt) are especially dangerous. Due to her elevated age, she'll make you go into additional debt to fund the IVF, you'll end up …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/10/23 12:08 AM
1

Hey, I get you man. I am pretty confident that this is entirely an emotional/mental problem for you as well as many other divorced men - ironically, for reference, the very first time I had sex, at 18, I literally lost my erection for about 5 minutes prior to even penetrating. It was weird and made no sense. Haven't experienced that since. Now, at 35, I have noticed the quality of the erections has diminished somewhat. I think a lot of it, at least for me, is I cannot shake the feeling that most…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 09:00 PM
1

I responded immediately because I could, I'm currently charging my car on a road trip and have time for you. I laughed at the guy because he is still stuck in fantasy land; that he can make it work with his ex. The real advice for him: this woman has slept with multiple men, multiple times and she is coming back because she hasn't done better, not because she loves him at all. Women do not love, they're in business. He is absolutely Plan B. Never ever give an ex a second chance to finish you off…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 01:11 PM
1

Definitely super soft and hence the "I want you to know if I sleep with other men, I am still willing to sleep with you", text. And the point of your comment here is what exactly? Also, do you not know the difference between here and hear?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 12:20 PM
5

First rebuttle- "you married him, didn't you? Was he like this when you married him?" Narrator: "he was"
/r/MensRights14/10/23 06:50 AM
9

They should "be a man!", right ladies? 🤣
/r/MensRights14/10/23 06:45 AM
4

Can I get a simp chant!?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 06:33 AM
5

"A woman can only have one master at a time". Old saying from CGA.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 06:31 AM
3

Lol. Bruh. She didn't just sleep with one person, she slept with several. It hurts, but you know why she's coming back? None of those other saps would commit to her and she couldn't upgrade. Dump and move on. Only pain lay ahead if you try to salvage this. For reference, my ex slept with at least one new guy within a week of kicking me out.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 06:27 AM
5

Then it must not have been an ex parte emergency motion - why even contact the other lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:33 AM
15

Dude you need to put this in front of a judge right now and seek an order of protection. If it is convincing enough, you can do it ex parte. Forget the PIs, this is a slam dunk for assumption of full custody.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:28 AM
-1

"Sign away your rights". This is a myth. It is perpetuated by morons(like my ex's father) who aren't aware of the laws regarding custody and CS. Sure, you may be presented with a divorce settlement saying if you agree with no custody you don't have to pay CS and it is just because the sole custodian doesn't pursue it. This may be offered because the other party is aware that if they don't have full custody, they will owe the other person child support. This also does nothing to prevent the sole …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:19 AM
1

It has been really difficult for me to mentally grasp that custody and CS are two separate issues, since they arguably are blurred in the legal processes. What I am trying to say is: you can have some custody of your children and child support can still be waived/not pursued. Maybe offer that arrangement? You need to maintain the rights to see your kids, if you agree to this, there exists the scenario that you have no right to ever see your kids again AND if she has sole custody, she could alway…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 10:11 PM
1

Your wife and her attorney do not want to pursue child support because... dun dun dun, she will have to pay you CS and alimony. This offer is not a gift. A gift would be she agreed to split custody with you and not pursue child support or alimony. As other comments have pointed out: she is already banging another dude. It is extraordinarily rare that women do not actually monkey branching- she's likely been planning this for years. Sorry, it hurts and it took me a long time to accept this myself…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 06:44 PM
2

I'm not legally divorced or separated because I wasnt legally married - but I hang out here extensively as it is helpful for me. I know for a fact that some here don't like to hear my opinions but I can't think of a single person attacking me also telling me to go to a different sub. I think you're welcome here.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 05:43 PM
19

Arguably it's the acceptance phase and the longest one. They now go back into the dating market with another man's children, age and emotional baggage - very very rarely are they able to do better than their ex. What thrills me is she still asks me for help with things around her house a year later (and she has had a boyfriend this whole time!). I don't reply because the answer is obviously "no" and after a while she will ask whether I saw the message. Just the other day she offered me my old fu…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 05:26 PM
2

I have to sleep around otherwise I am a low value incel apparently. Lol
/r/MensRights06/10/23 09:13 PM
2

Most men don't "abandon" their kids. True deadbeat dads are exceedingly rare. In modernity it seems we hear more about deadbeat moms who run off to ride the CC or get remarried and have more kids and then think that because they are a SAHM to their new children they do not need to contribute to any prior ones. The law is exceedingly lenient on these women. The most I will ever agree to in regards to supporting a child is that they are entitled to "an average life". There should be no requirement…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 09:52 PM
4

Reasonable child support does make sense. What's reasonable though? 500/mo, 1k/mo, 5k/mo? What about people who are assigned less, are they bad parents? Are they abusing their children? Reasonable to me is nothing more than the USDA calculated cost to raise the child in the area spread between two parents with equal custody. Essentially there should be a maximum required. I'll tell what what's vile: taking the child from its father before the child is even a year old and then withholding the chi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 09:12 PM
7

She is. I snuck a DNA test and she does look like me. Several of my friends have joked that she's my clone.
/r/MensRights05/10/23 06:11 AM
13

Women frequently argue that the fact that they even exist should be enough; "I am the table". Let alone be desirable to men. The same should be true for men, especially exceptional men with amazing careers, which is arguably one of the most desirable characteristics women seek. "A provider" CGA had an interesting comment today: women expect men to pitch a shut-out in their marriages and basically all are disappointed. The expectations are just too high.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 05:58 AM
2

I think that is pretty much what "Gone With Jon" on YouTube does and he appears to make good money doing it. I personally handyman on the side and pull down between 100-150/hr on most jobs on the weekends. I admittedly have cut it back recently because I have felt under-insured for the "risks" I have assumed. There's limitless work out there though - I have former clients from 18mo ago or more calling me and asking me to come out and I have to say "I am no longer in the business".
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 05:14 AM
2

What a trash outcome and what a dispicable boomer of a judge. This isn't the end, bro. File for a modification in 6mo. As I understand, WA does regularly grant 5050. Edit, to add - maybe consider going without legal representation next time? To lighten the mood: you've already gotten royally fucked over, you pretty much cannot make it worse. I'm not extensively experienced in it but there is a guy on YouTube ("HowIwonCustody": is his handle, I think) who regularly advertises that he won sole cus…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:58 AM
2

It's sad (and I fully understand) to think that many men self delete following divorce. They should actually use this experience as fuel to dust their ex and demonstrate what she missed out on. It's the best revenge and as Terrance Popp says: ain't no bish worth dying over.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 04:53 AM
0

Admittedly I pushed myself to go back to work with a slight limp. Where I screwed up though was getting into leg presses too quickly and ended up giving myself a sperm granuloma which was actually rather painful for a few days, moreso than the vasectomy.
/r/MensRights04/10/23 09:57 PM
1

So many people forget that at the end of the day, the lawyer's primary interest is the court, they couldn't care less if you lost everything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 09:23 PM
2

Either way men pay. A good lawyer will cost you. A bad lawyer will also cost you. My suggestion is at least try working with one. You can always fire them later and get the unused portion of your retainer back. I'm currently pro se (and so is my ex) at the moment dealing with child custody/support. The YouTuber The Lead Attorney said on one of his debates with a tradcon recently that he loves when his opposition is a man acting in pro se because he will wipe the floor with him.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 09:18 PM
14

Absolutely. It cost me less than one of my CS payments for my daughter. The doctor and I shot the shit for about 20 mins as he poked around in there and I was back at work an hour later. Just don't tell women you're shooting blanks though, because that's your business, not theirs. 🤣
/r/MensRights04/10/23 09:08 PM
23

The vasectomy is key. Society conditions men to believe that they shouldn't do it because it makes them less of a man and isn't reversible. Neither of which are true. The true reason they don't want men to get a vasectomy is because doing so actually liberates men from being enslaved by society due to the family law system. It's actually quietly amusing too when you're a juicy CS target and 30-37yo women let you roar into them without birth control.... but they don't know you're shooting blanks.…
/r/MensRights04/10/23 08:53 PM
31

Please for the love of anything do not have kids with a Western Woman. Please do not do it, it'll wreck your life. Let me share my story, I'm a little bit older than you, at 35. I am arguably pretty successful, making a quarter mil now as a consulting engineer. Around 31 though I desperately wanted a family, even doing such things as wrecklessly roaring inside women that were total losers in life (I am thankful AF they didnt get pregnant). Eventually, I found a woman that I thought was decent, s…
/r/MensRights04/10/23 08:40 PM
1

I believe I read somewhere that statistically only a minority of men remarry after divorce. Many people have their explanations though. I'd say the one I have heard the most common is "I ain't falling for that again!" Which would describe my father and myself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 05:28 AM
1

If it is like most states, it depends almost entirely on custody. Also, my state for example seems to have a limit on how frequently one can go back (6mo) and when it is warranted (CS change of >20%). While I am not subject to any custody nor CS orders as I was not married to my ex, we do have a "parenting plan" which is basically what the court would make us agree to anyway in mediation. I have fought hard to prevent any sharing of financial or even address information with my ex. It plays to m…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 05:17 AM
2

A Voice for Men has an article "All feminists are tradcons". They're the same picture.
/r/MensRights03/10/23 04:33 AM
13

Yeah, talk about an epic loser and delusional woman. She deserves to die a pauper. You can't make this shit up. "Hey I'm banging the tech guy renting our clubhouse. You better come home." Costner comes home, cancels Jellystone, unemploying countless staff "I hate you, I want a divorce!" "Okay, ya bish, you know we had a prenup, right?" "I don't care! It is invalid anyway! I am staying in our home!" Costner spends a fortune to ensure prenup upheld, exwife forcibly removed from home "The children …
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 04:43 AM
3

Yup. I've never met one nor even heard of one second hand.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 04:33 AM
1

I torment the ex by saying one of my sugar babies is pregnant and if she (my ex) withholds our child from me enough I'll just invest all of my time in my other family. Surprisingly, it keeps her in line and she is clearly very uncomfortable about other women potentially having my children. I won't be having any more kids though, got a vasectomy after divorce. IF I were to do it though, it'd be via a surrogate. Sadly the CS I will be paying for my daughter could have purchased the services of a s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 04:01 PM
1

I would say the transition times are 2-6mo with moderate effort(dating apps, taking women dates, etc). Since admittedly I am not the most attractive guy, there may be several month periods where I do not have a reliable source; for example I am basically in a transition period right now - retiring a FWB and moving. Nevertheless, she has still called me to come pound her out twice in the last 45 days. Ultimately I would say I am increasing my body count between 2-5 per year and I have never had a…
/r/MensRights26/09/23 04:33 PM
1

"Sure, let's calculate how much child support you'll begin owing me."
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 03:06 AM
2

My personal specifics were a reduction in total volume of 10%; there's still plenty - maybe tmi but I had a chick the other day say it was still a "lot" compared to what she was used to from other guys. It's still "foggy" too, though not as much - maybe it looks a bit like you already nutted earlier in the day. The key is, unless she was very familiar with what it was like pre-vasectomy, she wouldn't have a clue. It did leave a scar on the scrotum but it just looks like a fold and I don't know m…
/r/MensRights24/09/23 08:41 PM
1

Nut still comes out even with a vasectomy. You can still imagine her swallowing your kids. There is absolutely no way for them to tell unless they send off a semen sample for testing.
/r/MensRights24/09/23 08:06 PM
2

I used to have those dreams for about 6mo into the split when I knew she was banging another dude. It'll get better though, don't worry. At 18mo in now, I am not sure if it was a nightmare or a funny dream but I did have one the other night that she rolled over, while naked and handed me a positive pregnancy test. Like really? Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 07:04 PM
17

Don't ever have kids in the West, dude. You can skip the vasectomy but under no circumstance should you give one of these 304s a child. Biggest mistake of my life. You may think they love you -they dont- look at my story - and when their switch flips, society will ensure you pay through the nose for your child which you may never even get to see unless you want to make learning about the legal system a part time job or spend 10s if not 100s of thousands to just get 5050 from a vindictive woman w…
/r/MensRights24/09/23 04:02 PM
1

Document this. You need to lawyer up and push that in her current state, with her mental health issues (subpoena her health records to be released), she is not capable of being a caring parent.
/r/MensRights24/09/23 03:49 PM
28

A vasectomy isn't bad at all. We have been conditioned by society to be afraid of it because it actually empowers men. It wasn't even expensive either, as it cost me less than one child support payment. Took 15 mins and I even went back to work immediately. I will tell you what though, do not ever tell a woman you had a vasectomy even if she tries to foist a pregnancy on you. Just say that you are aware you have a fertility issue and that it isnt probable that it's your kid. Next thing you know …
/r/MensRights24/09/23 03:44 PM
19

Indeed, it took me a while to realize it was most effective to say I want a relationship and kids. They (30yo+) gladly let me roar rawski in them for 6mo until I get bored. They never learn I am shooting blanks and never intended to marry. I feel like I am having near entry-level Chad success now even though I am sure these women just see me as Beta Bux.
/r/MensRights24/09/23 12:06 PM
64

I embrace it. I dont even mind being considered a Beta Bux anymore. I just wish I had got a vasectomy before I got on the hook and had a kid with one of these desperate 30-37yo women that I thought loved me for me. Oh well. Got snipped. It really is amazing how easy these women are and how they'll let you just roar rawski if they think they can nail you for that CS. Too bad for these women though they'll never find out I am shooting blanks and will never marry them.
/r/MensRights24/09/23 12:03 PM
2

Men would do best to remove women from that list. Choose to understand them, not love them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 09:47 PM
6

More simply: it's about control. She feels powerless to improve herself so she destroys and controls you instead.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 09:46 PM
6

This is the story of most divorced men, man. It was almost exactly my experience, too. Lemme guess, she's between 35-40, too? That's when they go coocoo for cocopuffs. Like you, I was confused that my ex ever even wanted to change me. It never occurred to me that I was unsatisfactory in some way, I mean, she chose to have a child with me. The realization only came about when it was over and she decreed "I have decided I am done trying to change you, because you won't change [enough to make me st…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 09:43 PM
6

You need to have a temporary domestic order declared so she cannot move away with you all's child. Once a year visitation? That's a nonstarter - what kind of terrible mother wants their child to see their dad once a year? It may as well be not at all at that point.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 12:46 AM
7

You may not like this - but why does this man want to divorce this woman? So he can marry you? Why does he need to do that? I only see negative outcomes for him by trying to pursue this legally. Let the status quo be.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 04:07 AM
8

This. Seriously. OP, you win, dude.... if you had a kid with her, she'd have tormented you until the CS ended.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 02:53 AM
2

Alright man. Take a deep breath. I've been there (mine had him giving our infant daughter baths within 2 weeks of kicking me out). It sucks but there's ultimately nothing we can do. Our exs do some incredibly tasteless shit. Ironically my ex wanted to put terms in the parenting plan that said I couldn't introduce a new romantic interest to our daughter for at least 90 days into an 'official' relationship. I practically laughed her out of the room at the absurdity of that. I said "I have several …
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 11:36 PM
3

Mine took basically all the implements in the house. She was really gunning for the wall art since she had none to her name and actually did like my taste. She even offered to buy some it for literally pennies on the dollar for what I paid originally for some of the pieces (like I will give you 50 bucks for 5000 worth of art). The best part is I got my revenge in a way, a year later. You see, I got a non-functioning huge LED TV off Facebook Marketplace. I fixed it (by replacing the led backlight…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 11:28 PM
5

Most states determine child support based off of the level of physical custody. Many people confuse split (legal) custody with split time and so it comes as a surprise when they have "split custody" they have to pay a little bit.... because they don't have split time and there is an income disparity. Using the above approach, the only way to have "split custody" and not still owe child support would be if the incomes were the same and the children spent exactly 50% of the overnights in a year wi…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 05:04 AM
8

"Marriage causes divorce."
/r/MensRights12/09/23 02:10 AM
2

It's even higher when you consider that the step parent may be bringing non-related males (his children) into the household too, and if you have a female child, she is at risk from all of them. It's second hand, and anecdotal, but my ex's teenage nephew was inappropriately watching and trying to touch a younger unrelated female child in their household. Her sister caught her son several times engaged in this behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 11:12 PM
3

Overwhelmingly, single mothers are not in their state because the father ran out on his kid(s).
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 11:05 PM
2

Dumb that our lurkers downvoted you. Broken families raise broken people at a much higher rate than families that have stayed together - completely indisputable. Step parents may try to mend the damage done, but a significant number will still fail. What gets me is marriage is already a raw deal for men in general if they get kids out of it, what do these step parents see trying in trying to pickup someone else's mess? Then think if the step parentage effort fails (and it most likely WILL, >50% …
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 11:01 PM
3

I have a 3 year old daughter. I was only her dad for about 10mo of her life. My ex took a new man, who's still there, btw, almost 2 years later, into her house and he's been acting as my daughter's father. I have brought up to my ex that her new boyfriend should adopt our daughter (birth certificate is blank, so he can, easily) since he's basically her father and then our daughter would have a complete home to grow up in. My ex adamantly refuses, probably because then she couldn't scream for chi…
/r/MensRights11/09/23 07:37 PM
1

I often wonder about this as well. Many people use it synonymously even though they're different mental disorders. Since we're talking about women, I figure it's borderline, though, typically
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 07:03 PM
5

Like the other poster gets at: one last dip on the cock carousel to see if they can do better than their ex husband. They think he will still be there after a few years and she can draw him back anyway, afterall; "he simped for me once, he'll do it again". No, we won't.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 04:12 PM
15

And those gentlemen should be given default split access to their kids if they're forced to pay for them.
/r/MensRights10/09/23 03:59 PM
3

This man is spitting game and facts, no wonder our female lurkers downvoted him. Many women do sell positive pregnancy tests online. They're a great tool for a manipulator - they can bring a man back, they can make him skeet in their guts (and actually get her pregnant because he thinks she already is) etc etc.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 03:56 PM
1

Right, 185 obese at 5'10" male? This has to be a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 03:39 PM
4

That's when they love to blow it up, at 35-40.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 01:33 PM
1

Hire an attorney and take the steps to serve via publication. Evading service isn't illegal... I eventually got served via publication and refused the default. If you don't hear from her after service via publication you get a default in your favor.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 10:56 PM
2

Agreed. Coach Gang represent.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 10:52 PM
2

One of the major mindset changes that has occurred for me was realizing all men pay. Whether it's right then or later (via marriage & divorce) and it can really only take one woman to make you essentially pay for all of the others. This is a theory from Coach Greg Adams, author of the Free Agent Lifestyle. My child's mother gave me tons of sex but now I truly regret the damage she did to me financially and emotionally. She was the most expensive by far(hundreds of thousands lost and ongoing CS) …
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:50 PM
4

Text walls, man. Give her the annulment, "k, bye bish".
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:03 AM
2

Someone had a viral clip the other day explaining it actually is 30% in general. It was linked on AgainstMatrimony. They were able to eliminate the "concerned enough to check" variable by just using the randomness of "this person is an organ donor and we need to do a blood test". Turns out 30% of the people were not as related as they thought.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:25 AM
2

I just used an Amazon kit for my, then 12mo daughter. It was pretty easy to sneak the test while mom wasn't looking and I do kinda get a chuckle now and then remembering the weird look she was giving me as I swabbed her cheek. I didn't do 23andme because I didn't want anyone to get an "alert" for new family members, etc. I am already a member on there. She is mine and my ex doesn't know that I know. It's been a nice way to be petty in the parentage lawsuit. "Want CS from the courts? Motion for t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:22 AM
2

I constantly argue with my praying mantising (CGA term) ex that our daughter is, or should be, entitled only to an 'average' upbringing and nothing more should be required. She of course wants to create a household where she has full access to my income and gives me no custody, citing that our daughter is entitled to the quality of life having us as parents would entail. She conveniently forgets that we were never married so there never even was a "combined income household". She also never agre…
/r/MensRights03/09/23 12:34 AM
3

You said she violated the court order and you have evidence. Motion for contempt of court - this is an easy, massive victory for you. Following a hearing on the motion, if the judge agrees with your evidence, they are required to assess penalties to your ex for contempt of court... this is how men get sent to jail for failing to pay child support and women for failing to relinquish custody. If you want sole custody, this is how you need to obtain it. Edit, to add - if this woman indeed threatene…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 04:37 PM
2

Why didn't you say this in the beginning? Motion of contempt on the order violations. Did your lawyer mention this? If no, they legit suck and you should fire them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 04:23 PM
2

Many men here do. I could have written this as it is exactly how I feel, too. Maybe checkout Coach Greg Adams twice-daily YT show. He's also the author of the Free Agent Lifestyle. He has good general life advice for men and I find he keeps me up to date on manosphere pop culture too as well as adds humor to my day.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 03:46 AM
3

Yes, accept this deal. Bro. I'm not trying to be an asshole or rude to you but may I ask your rationale for why you should get sole custody? You're a bit sparse on the details. This statement or a form of it has been present in every state's custody laws that I have examined: "Joint custody is in the best interest of the children." Very rarely will I say "we have to be better than them" but this is one of the instances when I will say it. Let your children know their mother. Ultimately, the chil…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 03:16 AM
0

CGA? That you, kaaaang? I agree with you. I'll go further, even: willingly choosing to be a single mother should be illegal. Baring documented and recent abuse, custody should default to 5050 and "child support" awarded at a later date. Eventually basically all marriages become unhappy and many end because of it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 10:04 PM
0

cough they won't miss or want what they don't know about
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 09:44 PM
1

No. I had it done a year ago. Something like 95% of those who get snipped do not regret it AND it has something like an over 90% success rate on being reversed should you ever change your mind. You could even get a little insurance and do a sperm bank for a few years. Now, whether you choose to tell future women regarding your status, that's upto you, I choose not to after having observed many many single women demanding children and their 'partners' to be on the same page. Current FWB openly of…
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 06:38 PM
2

The problem is that women always have the ability to walk away (they can all go coocoo for coco puffs). Many men don't realize they have the option too. Commitment means nothing, ultimately - look at the sub we're in. I'd argue that it's simps who sign up for relationships and they absolutely lose leverage and desirability when they do. You could try to rephrase and say "I am not seeing other women right now", which isn't a lie. The moment you start sleeping with other women, just end it with he…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 08:06 PM
2

I'd just lie to her and agree to exclusivity but continue to date, I mean technically you already are exclusive. If you find someone else just dump her. Current fwb pleads with me for a relationship but 6mo in she is still coming around. I have told her technically she does have my commitment because I am not sleeping with anyone else. Men of value are shared, dont forget that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:22 PM
6

It's gotta be a troll because this pure comedy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:07 AM
2

Coach gaaayyyng!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 03:09 PM
3

Hey if you want to risk potentially getting f-d over again, power to you, the odds are not in your favor. A prenup probably won't save you. There are countless times where they have failed in an epic way (look at Costner, as a recent example - dont you think he paid 10s of thousands for lawyers to come up with an ironclad prenup considering he divorced before?). The only way to win is to not play. The bish won't accept just a relationship(I dont even give them that anymore)? Replace - "there's t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 03:05 PM
1

She's jealous. It is uncommon for women to actually upgrade (in the mid to long term) from leaving a marriage to become a single mother, despite what they may think. The branch they grab onto (which typically wasn't an objective upgrade anyway) inevitably breaks. My ex did the same thing to me. She's still in the relationship with the guy but randomly offered that she didn't have strong feelings anymore for him after a year, "he's just kinda there"... what??? She asked what I had going on romant…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 02:30 PM
3

I think the waves analogy is a good one. Most of the time now I actually feel empowered and in some control of the developing coparenting situation. I wouldn't say that my ex is more difficult than most women in this situation, maybe average... but sometimes it irks me (and I rage wave) when it appears she is trying to use me as an ATM and let me see the child as little as possible. It honestly seems at times that she would select "no bond with a father" for our daughter versus one that may not …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 02:14 PM
3

No. False. If it weren't for my ongoing custody issues with my ex, I would be the happiest I have ever been right now. If you are not content being alone, then you aren't ready to share your contentment. Personally I seriously question what long term value any woman actually adds to my life... my recent fwb turned into an incredible annoyance after 6mo and quite frankly I told her to get lost. She demanded a relationship ... "what for?" I'll replace her when I get around to it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:44 PM
5

I'm confused. Did you intentionally misspell the Roman god's name or are you stupider?
/r/MensRights20/08/23 06:36 AM
3

Bro. You're welcome here. Feel free to reach out to us. It seems like you're doing the right things to me. Hopefully she signs the settlement and you're done, she ultimately deserves less than even that, imo. Other comments are excellent. Don't beat yourself up for having simped, it happens.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 06:02 AM
3

They don't even require jail time for overdue child support, otherwise it'd be debtor's prison.... they bend the rules and send parents to jail for contempt of the order to pay child support.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 11:29 PM
3

If you lose your job or the ability to pay, you need to file for a modification immediately because the courts take time and it is an acknowledgement that you recognize the obligation but cannot comply. The timeline (90 days) for being thrown into jail because of it is wrong imo. I have seen several outrageous court hearings that despite a contempt charge, the guy didn't go to jail because of it (at least not right then). It takes a long time for the courts to process stuff and some judges do us…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 11:24 PM
1

You're missing an option here: 1.1 - JuCo. It's what I am doing as a 35M. Obviously I am extremely jaded but you should be terrified AF of divorce. You will get divorced again, the numbers are absolutely against you. Just accept it. It doesnt mean your life is "over", I personally find it empowering that I am not worried about getting married again. I actually find it painful that you are still even considering getting married again. Like, didn't you learn your lesson the first time? Throw some …
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 03:12 PM
1

Abso-freaking-lutely. Just because they're still together does not mean they're happy at all - could still be together for the kids, cheaper to keep her, she feels like she can't do better, etc. Coach Greg Adams ran some numbers and determined that approximately 10% of marriages are "happy".
/r/MensRights10/08/23 05:10 PM
1

I approached it from a different perspective but also pointed out that claim from the previous comment is incorrect, in another comment; each subsequent marriage dilutes the stats so any marriage picked at random actually has a >50% chance of failing.
/r/MensRights10/08/23 02:43 PM
1

-1 but I do agree we are here because we've experienced some trauma. However, at least in my case, it's more of a question of how did this happen? How was I so stupid to not see the trauma coming? Anyway, can we dive more deeply into the claim of divorce rates are falling? If it is divorces relative to married people, that would be a positive for marriage to identify that it is falling. However, if it is divorces in the general population(per 1000 people... and a quick Google shows that is how t…
/r/MensRights10/08/23 02:38 PM
1

The marriage that I was on the groom of 5 years ago is still going. Quite frankly it has a lot of characteristics which should lead it to fail but I know my extremely blue-pilled friend will never leave her, so I guess we can conclude that "she's not decided to leave, yet". She's on the extreme left and we definitely don't get along at all, I bet my friend went through hell just convincing her to let me, his friend for over 20 years, be on the groom - he never discussed it with me, but honestly …
/r/MensRights10/08/23 02:16 PM
1

Maybe just reason with him that maybe he should only follow through with it after a few years. I mean if this woman really loves him, she should be willing to wait a little, right? (I'd bet that if he suggested a few years wait that it'd implode his relationship... which proves the point that he is just being used) Good luck to you and your son. Hopefully it works out for the best... after 35, women are just very predatory though and it's just their nature.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 12:13 AM
5

Bro. Divorce as fast as possible!!! Without kids, there is nothing tying you to this woman for life but if you last even another year longer in some states you could owe her lifetime alimony. These situations never improve. You make think she's pretty but if you don't love or enjoy her company anymore she's just like any other woman (and man) - completely replaceable. Gotta move on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 10:11 PM
113

This is why you don't get your honey where you get your money...
/r/MensRights09/08/23 09:50 PM
2

Your son is being setup to become a slave!!! I'm somewhat distant from Mike's age, being nearly 10 years older, but I still remember what it is like and especially dating at that age. I was definitely an incel from 26-28. It was demoralizing. I can remember that despite being an engineer, having most of my hair still and being fit I just couldn't attract even low value women. It blinded me and made me basically being willing to accept anything. I'm sure Mike is being blinded by it too and that's…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 09:40 PM
6

I say bring it. I am an engineer and moonlight as a handyman for 150/hr. I will continue to charge these women out the nose for DIY tasks their hubby could have done for them if they had one.
/r/MensRights08/08/23 05:39 AM
4

This is the correct answer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 02:20 AM
9

Pretty much all of them claim abuse... to this day my ex claims I abused her (emotionally) before and after the divorce for numerous reasons: told her because we have a kid now, she basically can't draw high value men anymore and was a postwall (all of the men she's dated and been in a relationship with since have proven this true), told her she was an evil person because she fought 5050 custody and wanted to deny our daughter the right to know her father (she has since relented but claims me ev…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 04:17 PM
4

I've dated several divorced women and while their explanation for why they initiated divorce/breakup seemed justified hearing it from them, I always remember I am hearing their side of it - who is going to say they shouldn't have divorced when it was as recently as 3 years ago or less? Also, note, I've dated exactly zero women who stated they were NOT the ones who filed. I ultimately don't care because I'm never going to be in a LTR/committed relationship with them - I'm not going to be the next…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 04:12 PM
3

Once I burn through my current FWB, I'm likely going JuCo permanently. All men pay. Even though my FWB is "free", I wouldn't pay for her anyway and she requires MEAT... JuCo is a better deal.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 02:35 PM
7

Hinge has produced the best results(most chemistry, most dates considering timeframe) for me as well, however, my current FWB I acquired from Bumble. Tinder is just a waste of time and PoF is plenty of fatties. Met my exwife/babymom on OKC.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 03:05 AM
1

This is the correct answer.
/r/MensRights26/07/23 11:15 PM
1

Watch Coach Greg Adams. These are references to the Free Agent Lifestyle.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 09:55 PM
6

Congratz but watch your back until she's truly gone-gone.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 09:01 PM
2

Dying at the Indian Raid comment. 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:59 PM
3

I cheered at this comment. He learned!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:56 PM
1

Okay, you are allowed to not believe me, I don't care. If it makes you feel any better, my chick isnt a catch(despite having a body count 2x mine), it took me 6mo to find her and is pretty much a "Gordita". I just dont desire her or any woman that much anymore, proof: This week alone I elected to wank each night by myself in lieu of just going over to her place and staying the night. I actually get off with Palmala every time... only half of the time with her and I make her feed me a steak in or…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:23 PM
2

Sorry man. This is hard to take. What you must do though, and a therapist can help you: reframe your father's self deletion as having nothing to do with you. Savor the memories of your father and realize at the end of the day, you were one of the most important parts of his life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 05:50 PM
1

Once you subscribe to the theory that women are basically Lillith and Jezebel incarnate, it explains much of their behavior; theyre agents of chaos. They want chaos. They thrive on it. I won't go so far to say that women are evil but pretty darn close to it. The "you must have a woman to be a real man" is so deeply ingrained in our culture that is unlikely ever to be removed as a tenet. I mean, it trickles down so deeply that you can see it in the primary derogatory term being thrown around nowa…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 05:42 PM
1

There's a lot to learn about the way CS works under our laws. Once you are assigned CS, you basically ain't getting taken off, and eventually you have to sue again to have the obligation completed when the child is phased out due to age/death - it's an outrageous system that quite frankly should be labeled unconstitutional (since you can go to prison for failing to pay a debt, they call it contempt of court but it's actually failure to pay). I recently made a post in another sub about a man who …
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:46 PM
2

Dang dude. This is hard to read. She's got ya fully invested and she'll make it painful to leave - she's going to torment you regardless - you've been targetted and trapped. I was feeling the exact same way and was in your shoes just 3yr ago after my GF fell pregnant. 35m now. Fortunately mine rejected my marriage proposal, which at this time might have been a disadvantage because at least if we were married I'd have some custody of my daughter already meanwhile I haven't even been assigned as h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 11:31 PM
10

I'll expand on this- abortion if someone is married should be outright illegal for a woman to decide alone, potentially not even permitted even if the husband agrees to an abortion.... If you are unwilling to have a child while married, why are you married then when literally every single advantage offered by the state to married couples is to support their bearing children. Custody of children should default to 5050 and without child support obligations unless the ability to provide by either p…
/r/MensRights25/07/23 04:53 AM
3

Understand. It can be hard to sever the connection but it has to be done. She's not your friend anymore (maybe subscribe to the theory that she never actually was your friend?, this helped me a lot) - anything you say or do can and will be used against you. It's an adversarial relationship henceforth. Your old friendships are still there. Rekindle them. Mine fully reactivated and are potentially even more fulfilling than they ever have been. I don't think I am just lucky in that regard - your ol…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 04:39 AM
5

If she isn't parenting then she isn't fulfilling split custody requirements as outlined in the parenting plan. Sue for more custody! Regarding Grey Rock. It's hard with a co parent but just answer and only communicate factually regarding the kids and nothing else. Unfortunately you kinda failed the Grey Rock strat (as I would have, too) by getting emotional and laughing when she announced her engagement to you - A true Grey Rock would have said "okay" and that's it. Stoicism.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 04:30 AM
2

Ahh, thank goodness. Grey Rock time, sir. Be sure to report back here when the juicy details emerge, as some of us are really into vicarious justice.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 04:26 AM
7

You cite the facts yourself and you're not wrong. Third marriage for her? Epically low success rate. Even with you laughing on the phone, you're nicer than I'd have been - I'd have asked so when are you getting married then? And then pushed that anything less than basically next month is cop-out on her fiancé's part. Engaged so quickly? Why not just get married immediately then too? If you're so valuable he should be willing to sign that certificate now, right?! Just grab your popcorn and let he…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 04:12 AM
1

I dunno if I lucked out but my latest counselor had gone through divorce and child custody issues himself. It's hard to screen for these attributes but I would recommend a male and previously divorced therapist if you can find one. After about 6 sessions I felt so much better about everything and haven't paid for a session in over 4mo. This is one of the few issues I actually sorta disagree with CGA on - a good, empathetic therapist is necessary for men going through divorce. CGA claims he's neu…
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 09:51 PM
6

LOL mine did the same thing and made similar comments, "tired of living in a construction zone". Yet in the months after, I saw her new boyfriend post ads on the local FB group for handyman help wanted on the tasks she forced me to walk away from. I almost sent the guy a message and offered to bid at 150/hr, which is what I typically charge for handyman stuff in my side hustle. I also got a kick the other day when I was video chatting our toddler. Couldn't help but notice that the ex and her BF …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 08:09 PM
6

Absolutely not a viable option! Things will stop being platonic once she thinks that she owns the child and you're there to help and conform to how she wants to raise the child. She will change once she gets that leverage (mine changed midway through pregnancy) and don't forget - the state is always on her side, even though they claim they're just doing what's in the best interests of the child. This is just a sneaky way for women, who are approaching the end of their fertility window, to accele…
/r/MensRights20/07/23 01:33 PM
1

LMAO. IF my significant other had an only fans, not only would I not be subscribing, but I would demand a portion of the revenue AND rights to make content with her. What a joke to think you should subscribe to have access at a relationship. May as well be spam.
/r/MensRights19/07/23 03:09 PM
1

If you want a more intense dose of how marriage or LTRs suck, find the AgainstMatrimony sub.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:58 PM
11

This needs to be the top post.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:46 AM
0

Not to poo-poo this, but let me shamelessly promote vasectomy here. It's such a great option that society has seemingly trained men to believe isn't viable or a good one, claiming many things: it hurts, is expensive and will render you permanently infertile, will mess up your hormones amongst many other negative things. Basically none of those claims are objectively true. My total cost for the procedure was about 1.5k (less than the cost of 1mo of my CS) and it barely hurt, mostly just felt weir…
/r/MensRights18/07/23 05:04 PM
5

Sorry man. It happened to you, as it did me. Coach Greg Adams calls this maneuver the "preying mantis". My ex left me for another man when the child was 8mo as well. Moved him and his two kids into the home basically immediately, posted videos of him caring for our daughter like he had always been her father (he's not, I got the DNA test to prove it and she looks like me). I was targeted because of my high income and she just wanted to be a single mother with sole custody and receive max CS. At …
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 03:52 PM
8

Welcome to the game. If you're a high earner(you probably are, IVF aint cheap), rest assured she will keep it and implant it when you are unaware and she has a new man. After the kid is a couple years old and you've moved on/away - wham CS lawsuit with charges for arrears and she'll win it. It's just business and they do this all the time - having a child with a man they never intended to stay with (divorcing before child is 4yo). They're in business. I don't even know if it is possible to compe…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 04:39 AM
4

Along the same lines "I hope we can be effective coparents" ... Sues for sole physical and legal custody and refuses to accept any less. Citing "he has no interest in being a father to his child". Also refuses to listen to any input medically or educationally about the child.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 12:08 AM
2

Giving it the benefit of the doubt, it might but arguably AIDS is still quite rare in The West. So essentially we'd be taking extreme countermeasures(as genital mutilation is) to mitigate something that is, at most only a minor problem(I am not intending to minimize people with AIDS by this statement). Every man I know who is uncircumcised, feels good or neutral about it. Aside from some smegma if you cannot get a daily shower in, there really aren't any downsides imo. Maybe it looks a little we…
/r/MensRights13/07/23 11:51 PM
5

Gotta love it when they're either so stupid or so brazen&arrogant that they tell you their battle plan. Nuke their plan. File where it best suits you, now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 09:23 PM
1

You misspelled misery.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:45 AM
2

It's a little more nuanced than that (since there are outrageous situations where you can have primary custody with an ex but still pay CS) but otherwise, yes 100% correct - taxed dollars pay for a child's needs which may include deductible expenses (child care, medical, education).
/r/MensRights12/07/23 03:31 AM
12

What's even more fucked up is how the (typically) mother then does not have to report that income to the IRS and can receive deductions for the child at their lower income levels while the father receives no such deductions.
/r/MensRights12/07/23 03:27 AM
7

You'll have to prepay child support to the government in order to use it. No freaking way will they give up the potential to obtain Title IV-D funds from you.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 12:37 PM
23

A year removed and I am legitimately glad she left me. My life has improved immensely. I'm no longer spending entire weekends working on projects she prioritized as being more important than mine or what I wanted/needed to do. Doing the grocery shopping that she could have done during the week. I no longer dread returning from working away from home for several days and having her greet me first thing with "the garbage and diaper pail are full" despite the fact that I paid for a full time nanny …
/r/MensRights11/07/23 05:33 AM
4

It really is gross that she told on herself that way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 08:50 PM
7

I purchased an Amazon test kit and snuck a mouth swab of my 14mo daughter while mom wasnt looking. Swabbed myself. Sent in. Got the results like 10 days later. It was my daughter and I did it just a piece of mind. I wouldn't tell anyone who has contact with mom or the kids that you did it and ultimately the court won't care about your at-home test... it'll just be for piece of mind for you and tell you whether you should push for a legally sanctioned test if you even can as the presumed father.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 08:49 PM
15

Stop. Full stop. Emergency stop. Maybe I missed it, but do you have children with this woman? If you don't, full guillotine all contact with her and her family. There is no objective reason for why you should still be communicating with her at all anymore. Yeah it's funny that her monkey branching ass got burnt, and thanks for sharing your story on that... but move the F on, right now! The world is absolutely full of women, this one is not special, she is completely replaceable, in almost the ex…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 07:24 PM
1

Cute strawman but yes, under today's laws, 100% of marriages are a bad idea [for men] when they predominantly fail.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 09:25 PM
1

My ex and my current fwb seem to be convinced that I prefer to be alone. For the most part, I definitely do. In the past year, I have had some serious introspection and have learned that if anything I was more unhappy whilst in a relationship than not in one. Why is it so triggering to people to think that others are doing just fine being alone romantically?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 09:23 PM
10

You missed her intact request. First time I've seen it phrased so directly, usually it's "if you aren't 100% certain about having more children (these women are >38 and have >3 kids) then I am NOT interested." Yeah sweetie, I'm still intact, you must be having problems with your fertility due to your age. Unvaxxed, uncircumcised and to all the women out there: yes, I'm not shooting blanks. Lol.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/07/23 08:33 PM
15

Definitely called her Tyrone over for the deed... he won't be asked to pay child support either. She'll reserve that request for the next simp to come her way.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/07/23 08:28 PM
3

It was hard to do this in my case but choosing to block everywhere was one of the best choices I have ever made for moving on. It's not a cliché. A year later, she only communicates with me now via email about our daughter. She tries every now and then to try to be "friendly" and send a random photo or a yt video. I never reply. Infact, I am tempted to tell her if she can't stop doing communication outside of that for our daughter, I will block her on email too and we'll only communicate via an …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 05:24 PM
4

You already know this but I just wanted to emphasize that hypergamy is real. It's the primary force behind what drives women. It's just an evolutionary feature, it helped women survive. The sooner we understand and accept it, the sooner we can avoid being hurt by women.
/r/MensRights08/07/23 05:18 PM
5

Couples counseling is a WOMBAT. Waste of money brains and time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 04:59 PM
2

I think this is bad advice, sorry. While it may be nostalgic to look at those old videos, I guarantee you if you do a juxtaposition for her, she'll explode. I can think of numerous complaints off the cuff: "why'd you record me?" "Are you planning on using this against me?" "You made me into this new person, it's your fault". Further, I'd put my money on her smuggling some random dude's sausage during the 1mo separation. Women can find replacement d*ck extremely fast and it is likely she already …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 04:56 PM
2

If your ex husband died, wouldn't it be a death sentence for you too, then?
/r/MensRights08/07/23 05:04 AM
1

I love this. I wasn't aware of that language - it's critical. Now if that way of thinking could just be applied to CS. IE the child is entitled to an average life with reasonable needs rather than the status quo of having the household privided by the marriage/relationship be upheld. I can dream on I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 04:56 AM
1

I agree, complete eliminate of alimony might be a step too far. It should be dependent on the ancillary assets divided up in the divorce and it should be very temporary, (6-12mo) depending on circumstance. That said, with how slow the divorce process can be, would a temporary assignment of alimony of 12mo when the divorce took years, actually be meaningful?
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 04:52 AM
2

Any ex husband remitting lifetime alimony will at least get one victory upon his death - payments to his ex wife would stop. Crazy, a lot of these men probably cannot retire because of their lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 04:43 AM
2

It should be the bare minimum to give children an average life per USDA calculations. Provide an actual incentive to stay together as a family... you want a better than average life for your kids? Keep dad around. Arguing the other point ("you as the father must sustain a family's luxury lifestyle if it breaks up") implies potentially there should be penalties for those who earn below average.
/r/MensRights08/07/23 02:36 AM
1

I agree with you. It's aggressive and potentially mean, and my ex definitely disagreed with me vehemently - probably why we're no longer together and I get to pay CS... children should only be entitled to the resources required to give them an average life. The USDA calculates that amount for the region. CS should be that amount, proportionally from each parent according to their income ratio with 5050 custody by default and nothing more than that. I'm sorry, I don't think if someone has "won th…
/r/MensRights08/07/23 02:31 AM
1

This isnt an orphan. This child still has a biological father and a mother... and a step father who unbeknownst to him, was acting as a step father for most of the child's life. I consider this behavior to be weak because he doesnt see that he has options here. It says "poor me, I can never have a family of my own, so I may as well care for this child I was essentially tricked into pouring resources into." He's throwing away his life and future for a child that isn't even his. It is self sacrifi…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 08:43 PM
4

It is okay to love the child and stick around. It's truly your choice. I would inform the families of the truth and then bounce though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 06:05 PM
11

Bruh. You were married to this woman and are on the child's birth certificate, no? It would be hard for her to deny you custody now, you were the presumed father. Just do the normal process of divorcing and you will get custody of your child. Me personally, I'd fight to get out of CS and custody of another man's kid but I'm a trash human being. In my perspective, their mother did this to them, not you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 05:55 PM
3

I'm glad to see there other people have thought about this critically as well. There's a perverse incentive for single motherhood in the current system - she is actively rewarded via increased child support compensation for keeping the children away from their father. This paradigm needs to be completely destroyed. The court system should award 5050 custody to both parents and NO child support (regardless of income disparity) and refuse to hear cases requesting otherwise unless there are extreme…
/r/MensRights02/07/23 04:43 PM
2

No, it's a valid statement. It serves to demonstrate, that, at one time perhaps even recently, it appeared to be worth it. I think marriage stopped really being worth it just before the Boomer's time to get married, when no fault divorce came about.
/r/MensRights02/07/23 11:59 AM
5

+1 Get a secret vasectomy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 06:12 AM
13

Duh. It's because the juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore.
/r/MensRights02/07/23 05:48 AM
55

Highest so far*. It'll get worse and that's exactly what should happen.
/r/MensRights02/07/23 03:40 AM
7

In a similar vein, I'm divorced today because amongst other reasons, I told my now ex to "Fuck off" when the first thing she'd say to me after I got home was "take out the trash and the diaper pail." This was after being gone for 5 days, working 12-14hrs every day, driving 3 hours to come home, paying for a daily full-time nanny and just wanting to come home to a nice meal (which was never there, btw). Good riddance. I don't even care if I was the asshole at this point.
/r/MensRights02/07/23 12:31 AM
2

Def a conservative libertarian over here. Sometimes I wonder if I am actually an anarchist because of how F'd up I think it all is and how we should just start over - the American Experiment was a success up until the last 40 years or so.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 09:35 PM
7

There are some. And I'll step out here: it's more their own fault for being femcels than male incels. Many times it is because they cannot even find a Chad to bang them out because Chad is too busy with his other women. They're not appealing to Chad. Secondly, many will not accept men actually on their level. So bam they aren't allowing anyone to have sex with them. Meanwhile male incels can't find anyone willing to have sex with them.
/r/MensRights01/07/23 08:42 PM
5

Even conservatives are in that bag too, they're just not as open about it. I got downvoted pretty hard the other day (in the conservative sub) for saying no man should get married today because it's a losing venture. Case and point - conservatives advocate and have passed some laws in some regions for CS from the moment of conception for presumably unmarried fathers. A lot of men, myself included, are willing to pay a reasonable amount of child support for the kids, with marginal demands placed …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:30 PM
2

Finally. Damn. Women are empowered nowadays, they earn the majority of college degrees. There is no excuse whatsoever to pay an educated wife alimony if she chose to stay home. Even though I am a conservative myself, their obsession with pushing marriage disgusts me. At this time, men who get married take an enormous L even if they don't get divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:26 PM
1

Yup. Never ever get your honey where you get your money. Otherwise you could find yourself without either.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:01 PM
1

It is hard to accept and I am dealing with this myself... but the only answer is to accept it and maybe even be thankful that your ex and child have help. That said, I think it is pretty shocking how pathetically some men will simp and be step fathers to another man's kids. It is such a losing prospect for the guy. Even at 35yo, I still am able to get younger childless women, I have never made it past the first date with a single mother.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 07:57 PM
4

I agree. This might be aggressive, but maybe completely ignore the parenting plan and spend as much time as you can with your boys. One last hurrah! If it's true that you have pancreatic cancer, any legal ramifications cause for yourself won't mean anything in 90 days or less - sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 09:07 PM
3

Yeah, shit, exactly my life. Can match all day long with below average women and average-to-good single mothers. Still haven't even hooked up with one of the latter because I detest contributing resources to another man's child and the woman has shown she's a terrible decision maker since she's creating a broken home. It does feel like a transition time in society. A major conflict of some type is due.... Keying in on the Fourth Turning phase of American society if you're aware of the book/theor…
/r/MensRights29/06/23 08:55 PM
6

I think you've nailed it here with this comment. 250k at 30? Decent looking? In shape? Compared to your peers and basically 95% of women, you're crushing it in terms of desirability. But guess what? You'll be lucky if you can get a broke woman who's a little overweight at 30 to even be marginally interested in you. I realize I took liberties with what I expect is the interest you receive from women - because I basically am you, just 5yr older - it's what I experienced at your age with a similar …
/r/MensRights29/06/23 08:21 PM
2

Why worry about all of this crap? Just don't get married to them or otherwise seriously emotionally invest? Problem solved. When I think back on my series of relationships at this point now that I am 35, I will say there is a reasonably strong correlation between attractiveness and just how much of a pain in the ass she was willing to openly be. I've dated probably 4s through 7s. It's true the 4s will buck too but the worst one, by far, was a former model and 2x masters grad with 150k in student…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:10 PM
3

Dude settle. Settle now. She's thinking she's happy with this young guy banging her and you should take advantage of that. You claim she doesn't have money to pay for legal fees but you're wrong, sure she does - you all's marital assets! Unless youre in an at-fault state, courts do not give a shit that she is banging another guy. Women are replaceable, you're much better off trying to build something new with someone else (if you care to) than trying to salvage something that has already failed …
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 02:57 PM
26

I don't doubt the veracity of this but it's wild to think that a grown ass adult woman would be entitled to services while her male minor-child could be made to be homeless.
/r/MensRights28/06/23 06:51 PM
14

First item on the checklist: be certain marriage offers you something (a benefit) unique from just being in an LTR. Don't get married.
/r/MensRights28/06/23 02:45 AM
7

You nailed it. We live in the era of empowered women, that will come with consequences (for these women) under the law even if the court has a legacy bias towards obsolete doctrines like the Tender Years. On top of this, these people live in a constant state of denial - broken homes raise broken people. Breaking up a neutral or somewhat unhappy marriage because your puss tingles is the epitome of selfishness. Newly-minted single mothers will not be an exception to the rule, they'll become part o…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 07:19 PM
6

I completely agree with this. I've said before: being a SAHM is a privilege of being in a marriage. In today's world of strong and independent women, more of whom have college degrees than their male peers, there's no justification to failing to earn.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 01:01 PM
2

I understand your perspective, man. Coparenting ultimately is very very flawed and you're not the only man who feels this way. As you know, you have a post-divorce parenting situation many men dream of and would fight for - but don't let that shame you - it's your life and ultimately (if) your ex wife ended your marriage she basically ended your family too. Like you, presumably, I'm quite well-off and I can easily afford CS but it annoys me, I hate that my ex basically profits from having nuked …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:23 PM
7

I love these women! Searching for that CS payday!!! Get a vasectomy and string them along catching seed for months thinking they'll get a baby out of you. I practically laugh out loud when they text me that they got their period and say to myself "of course you did!" They're pretty gross when you think about it, not caring whatsoever to trap a dude into CS and raise a broken home. Joke's on them in my case, one babymomma is enough for me!
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 06:00 PM
6

This is closer to the way it should be. I believe that in no instance should single parenting situations be 'incentivized' under the law which arguably they are if a parent is able to obtain more 'child support' for denying the access of the other parent. I'll take it a step further, custody should default to 5050 unless there are clear and compelling reasons (DV records, documented abuse, clear absenteeism) to deny equal custody to the other parent. Without a reason the court shouldn't even hea…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 08:43 PM
5

This theory meshes with the conjecture of many RP relationship analysts. CGA calls the phenomenon "being handed the scissors". The cute part is, that even after being handed the scissors, many men still refuse to give up due to being stubborn and the fallacy of sunk costs - I was one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:10 PM
2

Bro. My ex had a boyfriend within 1mo of our separation/moveout and he was actively parenting our 1yo daughter. Ex would send me (and my mother) videos and pictures of our daughter with her 'new dad'. He's still there almost a year later. Originally I was mad as hell, probably like you. Now I don't care: if the loser wants to commit his resources to my child and my washed up, overweight postwall ex - go right ahead, thanks for your donation! Just think, when they break up, he'll walk away with a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 09:35 PM
1

A sensitive flower that is easily trampled.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 07:39 PM
1

I agree with you. OP's ex's child is not his problem, besides, he has no legal rights to the child anyway. "Sorry kid, your mom is just a fucktard... good luck in life" Secondly, yeah try to complete the collegiate course with a good grade. If you don't pass though? Don't beat yourself up; who gives a shit, ultimately? Once you're able to market yourself, basically no one will care about your failure - even the college, as they'll gladly take your tuition as you attempt it again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 03:14 AM
2

Sorry man. You know what you need to do. Good luck. 👍
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 03:09 AM
7

Like. Um. Is this seriously your real life? (I'm not questioning or trying to be mean, just asking for effect... like WTF?) No remorse about what happened and your impending loss. Divorce this loser. Move on, literally 95% of the women out there offer more than her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 03:03 AM
5

I think it is still worth it, barely. Never ever marry again though. Get a vasectomy, too; and dont tell women you have, either. I have chosen to understand women rather than love them. This is a reference to The Free Agent Lifestyle and Coach Greg Adams. It is empowering A-F. I have a fwb at the moment (who wants to be my GF) but I am perfectly satisfied with our 'relationship' and if she leaves, I will just replace her or be fine being alone. My emotional attachment circuit has been eliminated…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 02:43 PM
5

She wants maximum child support and control. You're involved and active. No is a complete sentence. Get your arrangement documented immediately and then basically ignore her. Like other comments have mentioned, let her violate it and go to jail over it via contempt of court. Overall what a cunt. Reminds me of mine. In what world would a decent parent think it is acceptable to deprive a child of equal access to both of their parents? Women do it all of the time though, see first sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 05:41 PM
8

The OF content creation must not be lucrative enough for her and she's bored, gracing us with her presence.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:15 PM
1

Yes, I read it again and you're right. I will rescind my comment with the note that his comment is poorly written and needlessly confusing. 39% of first marriages are ended by women therefore 11% by men. This means 50% persist and don't end.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 05:13 AM
1

My friend. You need to take action and now. Don't let the status quo be set that you aren't in these kid's lives since it sounds like you don't want that. Since you werent married: are you on the birth certificate and are you certain these kids are yours? If so that makes it easier. Hire an attorney and have her served for a custody agreement. You have rights here, but keep in mind, that will place you on child support or vice versa (on her) too. If you don't do this she can always place you on …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:33 AM
7

For sure. My ex felt like a superstar when she finally got a promotion to 95k. I told her that was cool, she's a big dog now! Congratz! Apparently she got upset that I didn't throw a grand celebration that she was so successful - why should I though? I passed 100k like a decade earlier and if anything she's behind having 2x masters degrees. We were done like 2mo later; she'd said "I feel like you want me to fail in life!" She's still making her 95k while I broke 200k last year. Now I just need t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:10 AM
9

Spot on. Mine even told my mother: "I feel empowered". Nice.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:01 AM
2

Potential conflict of interest and lack of impartiality, as occurred here.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 01:34 AM
1

Operate under the table in cash and barter. What they can't find, they can't prove and therefore it's immune. Not sure how much this will help you though if you are getting alimony and CS assigned as part of the divorce. Some states won't even consider a 'modification' unless the amount has changed by 20% or more.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 08:44 PM
8

I wouldn't underwrite that program, as is often said in this space: never enter into a contract where the other party is rewarded for breaking it. In the risk management business, the best means of controlling the hazard is elimination of the source. So, just don't get married.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 08:34 PM
2

For what it's worth, I only think one of my exs was a Borderline and she isn't the one I had a child with.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 06:24 PM
11

*without kids Otherwise, OP, I'd put serious money on children not improving your marriage. The only thing you'd certainly be doing by having kids is just increasing the consequences should your marriage fail.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:40 PM
1

It may be time to file for bankruptcy and I'm not trying to be a dick or hyperbolic - doing so may actually help you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 06:18 PM
3

Lol. Take it up with the women, first. They legally end 80% or more of marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 06:13 PM
3

This woman would fail the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI). She sounds like she's lost it. Document these problems. Distance yourself. Go covert and do not trigger her. Next thing you know she takes herself out and you get blamed - it's certainly the first place law enforcement would seek to lay blame.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:52 PM
6

Vows don't mean shit in the no-fault-divorce Era.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:48 PM
7

LTRs and marriage to women in The West is like reverse Russian Roulette - only one chamber doesn't have a round.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:23 PM
5

CGA says if she leaves you before approximately 35yo, she's done you a favor.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 07:22 PM
2

This is the best perspective to have. Accept it or even be optimistic about it: this man is expending his resources, foolishly, on your children. Many men are desperate simps with a scarcity mindset and so they have to target single mothers.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:57 PM
1

You can be mad. It's okay and normal. But, ultimately, you can do nothing about it if the children do not report any abuse to you. My ex had a new man caring for our 8mo daughter within 1mo of kicking me out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:42 PM
1

Yup. One of the first things I did following my separation was get a vasectomy, to ensure I am never in this situation again. I want to be able to provide a father's love to my daughter but her mother plays so many games and clearly intended to fleece me for CS all along, as evinced by the fact that we separated before the child was 8mo and I was already paying her "child support" before that, now she's leveraging the state to double the amount she gets out of me (>2k$).
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:39 PM
1

How disgusting. It means nothing coming from me, but your child is entitled to the most love and attention from her bio parents - when a parent is diluting that by having more half-related children... maybe the parent should be relinquishing custody???
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 08:31 PM
2

A person (the child) is entitled to receive the basic resources necessary to have a life from their parents. To me, this means support equivalent to the USDA's requirements and nothing more. The current system says the child should be entitled to the resources of both parents should they be residing in their home should they still be together, for some without any custody, this can be a truly ridiculous sum of money (my CS will be 120% of rent for the moderate 3/2 house I am renting... how does …
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 08:23 PM
3

He's saying that she has a family with another person and is bogged down with other child care duties and hence has her income decrease, making this guy responsible for more CS to their child. It's one of the weird nuances of the CS system, it's technically the child's money but mom receives and manages it... she can get several men on the hook for CS and be a professional mother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 08:11 PM
12

You're going to be replaced. It is the inevitable part of what happens in divorce and breakups. It's frequently said here that if a woman can fog a mirror, she can find a new dick, and it's true! Women inherently have the advantage in finding a new partner in the short term, as it has been proven many of then have a plan B guy to replace you at the ready. It happens. So. You know what you get to do? While it may take some time, replace her! Or don't! You are going to need to accept it was just y…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 06:17 PM
6

They want a scarcity mindset to be present in men because it inflates their value. Another manipulation is postwalls and single mothers as their value is decreasing demand the most out of men as if it will help them get more! They think because they ask the world as the opening bid, that guys will think they are worth the world! You see a bunch of them as call ins to Kevin Samuel's shows. It's all manipulation and marketing; don't fall for it!
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 02:58 PM
30

My sexual market value is the same or will go up. My kids will be fine, they don't need their father. I'll be able to run my life better without their father "helping" A man with value will still marry me. I can find a new step-dad for my kids. My career will blossom.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 02:41 PM
8

You're getting downvoted pretty good even on a men's space. I'll join you! Not only is the kid going to come before you in the list of priorities when you date a single mother, but it's possible you'll be darn near last place, even behind the needs of her baby daddy (her kid's father, afterall!). There's no upside whatsoever to date a single mother versus finding the equivalent single childless woman. None! Further, she's proven she will leave the father of her children, when children undisputed…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 02:32 PM
10

Man, you even beat me, I just got several of my posts there deleted - I may as well be banned - I just lurk now and throw in my downvotes on particularly stupid stuff. I find it hilarious how delusional these single mothers are and you're not wrong at all. Sure you can get guys to bang you out, congratz on showing you willingly submit to objectification. But the only ones who will commit to you are single dads (with their own resource commitments) or just plain losers no other women want ... and…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 02:24 PM
1

You'll know what college they'll be going to, because, ya know: $$$$
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 02:11 AM
3

I like discussions regarding the family law court and how it basically bypasses the Constitution. One point you didn't touch on that'll make here: placing (mostly) men into prison for failure to pay child support is debtor's prison which is against the Constitution. Society pushes back and says "well you defied a court order". So what? The court order was "pay a debt determined by the courts". The overdue amount will accrue interest for crying out loud - it's debt and imprisoning someone for fai…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 12:00 AM
1

Appreciate you sharing your story & experience. This should be nearer to the top comment.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 10:10 PM
1

Unpopular opinion here: a good bit of the damage to the kids is just inevitable since you're divorcing and if you dont have significant custody time, the damage of not having their father will inevitably be significant. From my personal&lived experience, when my parents divorced when I was 4yo, I saw my dad for a weekend once a month, which may as well have been not-at-all imo, it'd have been basically the same... I'm basically a fatherless man, some might say that'd why I'm such a garbage human…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 10:00 PM
1

Lol. In that statement she implied she will make you buy out her share as part of the divorce. She'll then get the house SHE wants.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 11:55 AM
2

This. She'll never ever forget this event nor admit fault (if everyone is apologizing to you, the least you can do is admit maybe you overreacted!). Sell the house as the market is still high. For the love of everything, do not put a baby in her, as she'll be wanting that now that you've got that house.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 11:17 AM
6

What were you hoping to accomplish by this comment?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 08:19 PM
12

In many ways, marriage is a prison for men but most take years to realize it after it's over, if they ever do at all. You realized it pretty quickly and I'm glad your perspective has resulted in positive things for you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:41 PM
2

Specific portions of his comment are actionable and arguably optimistic that some men shouldn't see their divorce as some hopeless situation. Meanwhile, your comment is ad hominem. Are you specifically feeling hurt about what he said because it might apply to you?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 07:37 PM
2

Worse. They'd have pushed for criminal charges for child endangerment, etc - you'd be truly lucky if you stayed out of prison. Supervised visitation would be the best you could hope for after all of this played out, for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 02:30 PM
1

An education that could cost you your life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 12:22 AM
3

My old boss used to mention this, along with "being more successful" as a married man. He and I lost touch but I did find out that approximately 3yr after these comments that his SAHW with 4 kids divorced him while he was building a home for his family a state away. She remarried within 3mo. Tempted to reach out to him to get his take but I'm sure it's changed.... at least she let him off of the alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 12:18 AM
5

Kids can be had outside of marriage... so strike that as being a benefit exclusive to marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 02:46 PM
1

I'd be up for just dissolving the family law system. That'll provide relief to the 'overworked' judges.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 09:47 PM
2

If I may provide some assurance - you'll get your grove back, don't worry. I went almost 9mo after my significant breakup/divorce from my babymom before I found another sex partner and I identify a lot with feeling like I don't have any game anymore.... not that I really ever had game, since I have a personality similar to Sheldon Cooper IRL. Churn and burn the women on the dating apps. Certainly you'll find one who has chemistry with you... keeping in mind that sometimes you just need a "slump …
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 04:12 PM
2

Fair enough. I accept that it could be or is fiction. Sounds like we agree though that children have self-deleted for far less than that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 08:19 PM
4

It's almost like they don't realize free pron already has semi-attractive women in it doing 'adventurous' sexual acts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:26 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/onh5yx/ive_been_depressed_and_suicidal_because_of_my/ Source
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:18 PM
7

There was a story recently about a child who was threatening (or did) self deletion because his mother refused to stop her OF activity and he was being teased mercilessly at school. The shame must have been incredible. She cited self-empowerment as the reason for her refusal to stop. Child abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:15 PM
6

Amusing to think they're essentially being [willingly] shackled with an 'obligation' to perform sex work to pay their child support debts. Keep being strong and empowered ladies, just be sure to pay your taxes!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:07 PM
6

Similar story here, friend. Mine also says I need an evaluation before she'll grant any overnights for my daughter, it's outrageous... unfortunately several lawyers I have seen said I should probably accept that I'll receive no custody but also say "you wont lose" when I say "I've just accepted I'm going to lose". Lol. A weekend-a-month custody schedule after having had a custody evaluation is losing. I keyed in on your comment/question: "did she need me to get pregnant?" ... was she in her 30s?…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 04:56 PM
4

Lol! Dating over 30 is already the train approaching its last stop, the end of the line. So dating over 40 must be the train stopped and doors open, a waste of time for all who get on.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:58 PM
5

I need to hear more of your friend's story... sounds like lord o' the simps.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 03:59 PM
3

I don't know either way regarding Texas, but if the script were flipped, she would, so OP should, too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 02:32 PM
2

There's really nothing more to be said.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 09:42 PM
6

I downvoted because the premise of your comment is to encourage step-parentage, especially in a circumstance when the person never agreed to it. I'm firmly on the opposite side of that argument: don't be a step parent to someone else's kids, but if you do, be sure it is of your own volition. Secondly, while yes he is the legal father regardless via the married-at-birth presumption, there are avenues for him to get out of it. The test will reveal whether that path could be pursued. It's more than…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:07 PM
3

Yes. Just do the cheek swabs and get it over with. Mom doesn't have to know either way. The challenging part will be what you could decide to do with the result if the child doesn't end up being yours, as you're already on the birth certificate for the child being that you were married at your son's birth.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 08:52 PM
4

CGA, that you???
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 08:24 PM
4

Coach Greg Adams, he's a men's issues YouTuber and author of Free Agent LifeStyle.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 04:03 PM
8

Didn't she threaten something about his Yellowstone series or Costner say he was going to retire after the season or something? This divorce has been brewing for a while. The ambience of the situation was eerily similar to Gissell and Tom Brady with the NFL before that divorce. Can't wait to hear what CGA has to say about this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 10:53 AM
6

Indeed. Don't fall for their bullshit, pretty much all of them are predatory in some form or fashion.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:03 PM
2

It was a joke. I'm definitely not nice, intentionally.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:13 PM
19

Yes, aim waaaaay lower my friend, you can get 'em. Within a month, my ex snagged a guy her age, 37, with his own two kids. I will admit, it took me a while, 8mo, to find some reliable tail. I'm 35 and was going for 25-40. You know what I found? After 33 or so(postwalls), the women were incredibly difficult to deal with and would reject me. It's a weird phenomenon other guys in the manosphere have pointed out: as women lose desirability they increase selectivity and demand more from men. Current …
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 03:50 PM
2

What can I say, I'm a nice guy. 😅
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 01:30 PM
3

Everyone is flawed in some way. I am, you are. What are flaws to someone may not be to someone else. Rest assured, even the most attractive people have someone out there who's tired of them. So yes, they potentially become "someone else's problem", or maybe not???
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 12:36 PM
2

Someone's imagining things.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 12:21 PM
3

I laughed at the Prime Country reference. I've referenced Mark Chesnutt here too. Good luck brotha.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:09 PM
5

My main criticism is never ever tailor your life around a woman. You will get burned for your choices in that arena. You're making two mistakes here: you care what your ex wife thinks about you or your new - stop that. You're making major life changes (potentially leaving your children, that you have an established relationship with), and moving, for puss. A mindset change is needed, puss is not scarce, it's arguably easier to obtain than ever.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:26 PM
1

Not sure why that response was warranted; if but to attack me? Infact, I said the exact opposite as a recommendation - don't give up, you're basically already committed to this path anyway - and you should therefore expect years more of pain. Like I said, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 07:33 PM
1

My friend, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Honestly, your experience is what I expected to go through with my ex (never married, but dealing with wholesale denial of custody). I tried for 6mo to be somewhat involved in my then 8mo daughter's life - hard to do when she would inform me literally last minute of doctor appointments and activities, further, she had her new BF acting as the kid's father within 1mo of her leaving me. She also allowed zero overnight custody even if my mothe…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 06:13 PM
11

She's getting played hard. What a dummy. Once that limerance is over for her (or the AP) she's likely going to plead with you to return - don't.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:42 PM
1

So what you're saying is we need FUMoney. Username checks out. 😀
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:22 PM
2

Kudos to your sister, she cares about you and wanted to help. Let's hope she didnt intend for you to go to the other divorce sub, though, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 03:00 AM
5

Your kid(s?) are always going to be yours. She never was yours, it was just your turn with her, accept and choose to not care about this other guy (not saying you need to accomodate him, you don't). This woman is now in your life forever but she's going to do what she's going to do. It's best to exit the family law system as quickly as possible with as minimal damage as you can and you have an opportunity to do that here. This is a frenetic victory that most men arent presented with.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 06:15 PM
17

She's in the affair fog, limerance! Take the frenetic victory [and step back].
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 05:35 PM
15

It's always about the money. Always. One of the last interactions I had with my ex & babymom was her expressing concern when I notified her I was changing my 'employment situation' (going private consultant/contractor, 1099). She immediately said "did you get fired again?" In a condescending tone implying the first and only time was my fault. I sued that company for violating employment law and retaliating against me and won a large settlement... I think that validates I was wrongfully terminate…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 05:22 PM
2

Unless you are pretty familiar with the processes, it's a dangerous route to go and you're more likely to 'lose'. As one of the more prominent members here will say "Divorce is not something you DIY", he's right, most manosohere figures also agree. In my case, I've already figured I've lost custody and am going to just default on everything, assuming my ex can even get her parentage lawsuit served. It's been 6mo and still no service of process on me... I know I make some men mad here, since I'm …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:57 PM
2

It's like a near permanent case of "post-nut-clarity".
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:14 PM
5

I feel like getting divorced is just catching a near permanent case of "post-nut-clarity".
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:12 PM
5

The bait and switch is the prime strategy for a lot of people; men included, but mostly women. "men get married thinking that she won't change, while women get married thinking that he will" - she's the bait and switcher.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 08:11 PM
8

After a while you start to realize that men have it really great now following the sexual revolution of women - sex is ubiquitous and potentially near 'free' in transactional and short-term relationships. Without commitment, women (and society) are the real losers from this, but as long as no fault divorce exists and the other draconian family laws exist, this is EXACTLY the way it should be.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:32 PM
3

Forgive by just letting it go and realize that's who she always was. Don't forget though, and always remember too: they're all like that when it would suit them - don't give them access to any of your vulnerabilities.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:28 PM
9

I feel this way, too. Relationships do seem like a waste of time now and I'll actually admit it - I'm bitter, having been praying mantis'd by my ex, but IRL I keep it to myself for the most part. I(35) also have a FWB(30) who thinks she'll eventually get a relationship and maybe a child out of me. She might get a relationship-lite out of me, but there will be zero children (I'm snipped and she doesnt know). She's been kinda pushy recently to say ILY and that we're in a relationship, I asked her …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:21 PM
6

Nailed it, thank you sir.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 10:36 PM
8

And nation-wise: Canada. There is an amazing common law marriage story from Ontario, if I recall correctly. Should be enough to shock any man into refusing to risk a common law marriage situation. To OP: yes you are right, it's still quite rare to hear common law marriage horror stories but unless there's a clear and tangible benefit to cohab (besides the seggs), don't, it just isnt worth the risk.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 08:33 PM
3

They've definitely intentionally made it difficult to get vasectomies both administratively and via social conditioning. Even my urologist who performed it on me, asked me multiple times: "are you sure? I mean, you have a child already and this woman hurt you but dont you think you might want more kids with someone else?" I had to literally bite my tongue to avoid yelling at him "did you not hear me!? This woman targetted me, and tricked me into having a kid with her. I trusted her with everythi…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/03/23 04:36 PM
4

Well, for starters, she's asking questions to which she already knows the only answer she'll accept, she'd be best served by just stating exactly what she wants: you will make six figures you will give me a child asap you will marry me you will be 6' tall
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/03/23 04:24 PM
5

Yeah, good job bro. One of these predators got me and I have a 2yo daughter now. As much as I do love my child, I refuse to fight her mother to be a parent, especially being that that mother threw me away when our child was 8mo. She never intended for our kid to have a father, she just wanted a sperm donor with a paycheck attached. I should have gotten a vasectomy at 18 (I'm 35 now), like you. All men should. It can be reversed should you change your mind - there's a ton of conditioning and prop…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/03/23 04:20 PM
3

The desperation for children is ridiculous, legit baby rabies. Had the current one I'm banging out say that she almost didnt give me a chance because I had "not sure" on kids. I also saw some 42yo the other day put "if you arent 100% sure on kids, WE ARE NOT A MATCH! I will be having more!" That woman already had 3, what a joker. Anyway, feedback received!!! From now on it will be: "I want kids too!!! Let's see if it just happens!" ... 6mo later ... "why am I not pregnant yet?" "I dunno, let's p…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/03/23 04:12 PM
10

Absolutely. As CGA would say let them "tell on themselves".
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 06:53 PM
5

That sub is hilarious!!! Even the first 5 most recent posts are gold for delusion and exaggeration. Thanks for this.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 06:03 PM
17

From a purely practical perspective, please for the love of everything, do not champion FDS befalling the same fate as MGTOW by being banned. FDS provides sooooo much important content - whether it be to point and laugh, cautionary tales, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 05:57 PM
4

Gym. Gym. And more gym. Planet fitness. 10/mo Build your own gym in your house (can find old bowflexes for 50 bucks in most areas). Just don't sit there and drink. Infact, don't even drink at all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 11:39 PM
3

The real turning point is once you're able to reframe what she's done as quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to you. In time, all divorced men will see it, or they just go right back onto the plantation. Good job brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 09:11 PM
1

Who runs Bartertown!?!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 09:10 PM
5

Try r/datingoverthirty
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 12:43 PM
2

Came here to say this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 11:25 AM
5

You'll get the order in time. If you have the ability to look up your case online: you should just to get a heads up for what's doing on and so you could potentially start responding to your case. I'm 6mo into a lawsuit for parentage myself and still havent been served yet but I know that I'll receive a domestic order when I do because I see it as records on my file.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 12:54 AM
7

It's part of the modus operandi of filing for divorce and custody - she's accepted basically a restraining order lite for both of you, some jurisdictions call them domestic orders - it essentially locks the status quo to being what it is until your divorce is settled. She's already violating the order if she's engaging in interstate travel with the child, especially if you oppose it. Did you not receive a domestic order when you were served?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 12:49 AM
12

She can't just up and leave like that. If she filed, she's put you both under a domestic restraining order. What a stupid woman. sigh Just document what she's doing and be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 12:41 AM
19

Yeah, it's sad that men still seem to care about their former partners getting ran through. To OP, bro, it's okay to hurt somewhat over it but just pull the bandaid off and just accept it; pretty much all of our exs are getting plowed regularly and readily, doing things they'd never do for us. Din't forget the cardinal rule though: as long as they can fog a mirror, they can find new d*ck. Once you get over that it doesnt take anything special to do that: you actually kinda see it as pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 11:36 PM
21

She's trying to establish a status quo for the child being in her custody, 6hr away. She may have an "agreement" with you now but once she positions herself properly, it could royally screw you. Watch, she'll do 50/50 amicably initially, then it will get less and less and less until it's nothing (or you have to retrieve and return your daughter). Never did say where you are. Perhaps she's moving to a state that has harsher divorce laws. Sounds like you're doing this outside of the legal system. …
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 11:19 PM
21

Some men just never wake up from the matrix.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 04:30 PM
2

No lawyer needed. Contact the court clinic and they'll set you up with the forms.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 05:08 AM
3

Just wanted to say, I appreciate that you're here and what you've done for a lot of us, even if some of it is "copy pasta". Ultimately I've found that your perspectives are the most accurate and the easiest credo to follow. You deserve the gold. Pretty cool that we're both engineers, didnt know that until now. Have a good day.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 05:27 PM
12

This is the best strategy. Do not ever, under any circumstances, return to the plantation (marriage). Get a vasectomy. Completely control your frame such that it's a privilege for a woman to even exist in it. Men are the prize.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:13 PM
3

It's pretty much all skills. As former military, you likely qualify even if it's to provide security via one of our subcontractors - PM me - I have stalkers on reddit and don't want them all up in my bidness so I won't post publicly.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:55 AM
14

That's because every other day of the year is men's day, you misogynist! (edit: downvoting me when I'm clearly being hyperbolic/sarcastic? okay) My company is construction - large industrial facilities/pipelines. Pretty much always hiring. Nearly every position is approaching or surpassing six-figures. There are women who work here, but probably 20% of actual staff and <5% in "labor/craft" roles.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 05:04 PM
19

Take yourself on a date.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 04:29 PM
3

Mine plays this game. Switches the appointment last minute and brings her BF instead of me. About all I can offer is putting the requirement to inform into a parenting plan.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 04:34 PM
2

This. New guy is at bat, may not be willing to be a father to your kids so she's trying to keep you in orbit and subservient to her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:13 PM
8

I liked the ones that immediately jumped to trying to shame you if you think it's an accurate representation of the experience of a lot of men. It's always a man's fault. "If this upsets you, you're an incel". "Man up and accept she doesnt want you anymore." "Fight for your kids"
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 01:54 PM
6

Never bring women into The West unless you're willing to accept they'll become a woman of The West.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 03:00 AM
13

Okay. Listen to me very carefully, sir - it's time to make a rash decision because you're powered by emotional pain: get a vasectomy. This will be the best defense ever from getting baby trapped (do not tell any future women that you had it done). You're getting close to the wall for women and that's when they'll target you solely to validate them via motherhood. And you think you feel disposable now? Just wait until the mother of your child(ren) throws you away like you were literally nothing a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 12:54 AM
6

Confirmation bias is a powerful thing. If I may share my experience: mine applied an inordinant amount of significance to her friend and sister (both truly miserable single mothers themselves) who validated her feelings of leaving a man who'd she just grown "unhappy with". My mother, who only somewhat expressed regret at divorcing my father (she never was able to remarry) when I was 5, implored my ex to reconsider "for your child's future". Of course my ex ignored my mother, citing: "I feel empo…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 06:57 PM
6

Isn't there a verse in The Bible about this? Proverbs 30:20 “This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’"
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 06:12 PM
3

The hope strategy is extremely strong for some men.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:16 PM
5

Well, at least you led off that train.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:15 PM
4

Once they lose respect, it's over as there's no recovering from it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 02:52 AM
1

The puss is a way to maintain control over you. My ex used it and initially it was like we weren't getting divorced. We always had a healthy sex life. It was weird - I intentially ceased nutting in her which upset her (can't know for certain but she was likely trying to hook me for yet another kid, I see that now). Even after I moved away, she'd send me sexts and nudes. She also stated that "just want you to know, I miss the sex and I'm down for more, even if I've been with other men". It came o…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 01:27 AM
2

This is the correct frame.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 12:41 AM
3

I'm slowly coming to emotionally accept that this is the way...
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 04:35 PM
5

It's a daily thought of mine. I just don't care enough to even date anymore. I'm 35. Decent looking, 5'10" 170lb, fit. Amazing job, making >200k. Flaws-wise: I'm bald and I'm definitely an asshole (Jordan Peterson's personality test has me as the 99-100th percentile for disagreeable people), so basically zero EQ. I've learned to be nicer but I absolutely will not put up with incompetence and sadly the world has a lot of that recently... I also have a 2yo daughter that unfortunately I've just had…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 11:06 PM
12

There's like no chance whatsoever. If the mother were reasonable, she would have rejected the money. You know she spent all of it already, knowing she could do so with impunity.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 09:56 PM
1

Stupid bot. Go away.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:28 PM
8

You're potentially asking the member of the hive mind to intervene. Mediators don't really care about being fair, they want to be done with their role and that means leaning on the weaker party to expedite things. In divorce, men are simply the weaker party, typically. Women are excellent at recognizing weakness so be prepared for a female mediator to push on the man to wear him down.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:18 PM
2

r/AgainstMatrimony
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:12 PM
7

Yeah, this is the better perspective: where are the most treacherous ones? I'll offer my perspective: the stories I've read here and other locations regarding divorces in CA and NY are absolutely horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:12 PM
3

At least make her pay through the nose to play. She's already at least 3k deep on parentage. Assuming they can convince a judge it's acceptable to default assign me paternity, then they have to find me and study my accounting. The only thing she has in writing is that I have made at least minimum wage... she's gonna spend 20k to get a minimum wage CS assignment and then will have to encourage CSED to collect CS from states away. Enormous waste of time. As CGA says, the family law system is simpl…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:58 AM
2

It's everything "general" - so housing, clothing, food. Then she can nickle and dime you for deductibles and other "extra" stuff. My petty ex, who's in the process of suing me for parentage, sends me receipts for two dollars and fifty cents. $2.50. Seriously. I offered her 1k/mo the other day to basically leave me alone and dismiss her parentage lawsuit. Nope! she wants more!!! She already makes 100k and doesnt need the money, obstructing my time with our child when I do visit. Well now until th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 12:38 AM
5

A bunch of YouTubers have broken down the numbers and many have concluded that basically <10% of marriages are "happy". It's bleak but if people are truly honest, it sounds about right, imo. As much as I want to be in denial of it, humans weren't made for monogamy nor to be in long-term relationships. It is what it is.... I'm emotionally not there yet. Eventually, men just realize that life goes on and in many ways their divorce can be reframed as a great thing for them. A year out, as a 35yo, a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 09:44 PM
7

For me, the majority of the healing came when at about 6mo in when I finally came to the realization that she acquired this new guy as her monkey branch and was likely getting clapped by him prior to leaving me. He might have been a "backup" for years; I acknowledge he has value as a person but the fact that he'd be considered an "upgrade" compared to me is downright hilarious, truly demonstrative of how far she's fallen in SMV as a 37yo postwall single mother. The evidence is there - "you know,…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 01:09 PM
1

I will admit it is a red herring and probably one of the most extreme instances. I heard about it from a manosphere content creator, it was over a year ago and it might have been overturned... I havent found the specific case despite looking so it could very-well have been a fabrication. However, there are literally dozens of examples on equitable parent doctrine cases - mostly due to recent dissolution of same-sex marriages. If you read the case studies on them the "neighbor equitable parent" s…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 10:47 PM
1

This theory goes by a different name in the US: "equitable parent doctrine" and it's rather ubiquitous (and necessarily so?) due to non-bio parents adopting or having children.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:31 PM
2

The obligation (to the children) for CS will remain with the person assigned despite the (re)marriage of either parent. However, in the US, with many states recognizing what's known as the "equitable parent doctrine", a child without an assigned second parent could gain one even without marriage- the equitable parent must simply knowingly and consistently act in a parental role for the child. There have been downright ridiculous cases suchas where a neighbor repeatedly watched the children of a …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 08:26 PM
1

dating over forty exists? I'm surprised because it shouldnt - just accept you've made mistakes and you'll be single forever now and there's ultimately nothing wrong with that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 06:13 PM
6

The dynamics for men versus women post-divorce are completely different for most people.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 09:28 PM
9

Right? Seems out of touch to even think that this sub exists for any other reasons than ostracism.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 04:53 PM
6

Do you want to get babytrapped/praying mantis'd? That's essentially all women after 30 are looking to do. Get a vasectomy, brother, and don't tell them you did neither.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 06:17 PM
1

Yes, that's correct. Even after the DoHA one can still sue. I just hope to never get to that point. While I won the lawsuit against a former employer (a government contractor) and got a bag, I hope to never be involved in the legal system again...
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 12:23 AM
2

My experience with divorce and clearances was via someone else, who temporarily had their clearance suspended due to a RO. While I was never legally married and have the joy of fighting over my daughter with my ex, I have a clearance and havent lost it. I wouldnt be too terribly concerned if you do lose your clearance because you'll get it back... and you can always sue the NNSA if they dont restore it. Every person I know who's resorted to suing the NNSA has won. While a clearance is a privileg…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 11:24 PM
3

Absolutely. This whole experience has made me realize she is an evil and broken person. She absolutely blessed me by largely removing herself from my life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:59 PM
1

I think it's wrong, but CS payments are not considering in taxes for deductions or income.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:45 PM
3

Mine got a new guy within 1mo of separation. He took over parenting my 1yo daughter and everything... going to Dr. appointments, outings, picking up our daughter, etc. Absolutely enraging. Most likely he was already there in the background - from the brief information she shared about him, it sounds like he might could be a coworker. Originally it made me enraged and every communication I had with her had elements of my anger in it. Now, nearing 1yr out, I havent even spoken to her for about 1.5…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:35 PM
3

It's legitimately a joke for a woman to find a new man. I too was shocked with how simps will sign up to raise another man's children - I figured my overweight 37yo ex with a 1yo child was done-for, dating-wise - nope!!! She had a new man banging her out within a month (possibly before) of her kicking me out. Mindyou, the guy is a loser on paper and I'd never want to be him, but yeah, he's banging out my ex. Anyway, it will take a while to realize this but she had already had a plan B and C guy …
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 08:14 PM
13

Scuttle the ship. At least it will then sink in a controlled and intentional fashion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:15 PM
2

I'm not familiar with WA state but it is possible, and rather likely considering the political perspective in a lot of WA cities, that you have what's known as squatter's rights and cannot be evicted even without a lease agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 05:21 PM
7

My ex GF nearly died giving birth to our daughter due to pre-eclampsia at age 35. I will forever remember the trauma associated with that experience which the geriatric pregnancy likely contributed a lot to... delusional to think pregnancy after 35 will be "just fine", it's not, and that's why it has a medical term associated with the condition. Without significant medical assistance, our daughter wouldnt have survived, she spent over 90 days in the NICU as it was.
/r/AntiFeminists24/01/23 03:27 PM
5

1) Refusal to negotiate without leveraging the legal system is spite. 2) Eh, it actually is. Not recognized by the court of course - which is why men should only give what the court demands and nothing more. Honestly receipts should be required to receive child support and it should be taxed but that's a pipe dream. 3) Congratz to him! Definitely sue her for CS now since she established the precedent.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 02:18 PM
6

"They won't apply to my children as I'm a good mother" - Every Single Mother
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 05:32 PM
13

Yeah, I kinda cringe to see these guys report positive status within 1-3 years of the relationship originating. If anything, thinking you've found the unicorn is the most dangerous perspective to have.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 02:56 PM
8

You can always request he establish a boundary with her; specifically prohibit communication at certain times when it is obviously unnecessary. I actually agree with you - drunk calls on Fridays are inappropriate.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:31 AM
4

You could have at least said NAWALT. There are women that seek to destroy men, the evidence abounds. Let's start with this anecdote: why is it that fathers have to consider themselves lucky to even get 50/50 custody of their children? People abuse power but women moreso - see the way in which your ex wielded the power of the family law system against you. It's a common story.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:17 AM
2

I can't. I have had 3 LTRs in my life (34M), bunch of short term relationships amongst those. The first one was ironically the longest and we ended semi-amicably having just grown apart after 8 years and it had turned into an LDR that neither of us wanted anymore. TBH, it wouldnt have worked out anyway because this woman was obsessed with the fact that her career was more important than anything else, "I didnt go to college for 4 years so I could be a SAHM" - she was obviously a closet feminist.…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:08 AM
4

Okay, be rude to me - I read what you wrote. You're worrying about literally nothing. Disconnected or not, who cares? It's of no consequence whether it is or isn't.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:33 PM
5

Can we trade baby mommas? If all she's doing is using nebulously-inflammatory language, consider yourself lucky. Let this go.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:29 PM
1

Now you've piqued my curiousity and I feel an urge to let some toxicity out - what would the guidance for women be to recover from divorce? Step one: Call an orbiter if you hadnt already to be sure you have sausage smuggling taken care of in the near-to-mid term. You can finally see if Billy is as good as you thought he might be. Step two: Take as much as you possibly can from your ex husband. This will ensure that you can stay on your feet financially and cripple your ex in the eyes of other wo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 08:25 PM
2

Not sure why you got downvoted so badly, my friend. I've also read the book and while some of it made sense, I realized that after a while, the languages don't matter anymore; queue CGA's soundbite "you can't win!" and it's just over.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 06:40 PM
3

I love the reference to the equitable parent doctrine - it's definitely a risk if OP cares for the new child of his ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:26 PM
1

While I agree with what you've said, it is Las Vegas, there's plenty to fun to be had outside of this broad. OP doesnt have any kids. I know it falls on deaf ears, but divorce without children is so much more manageable... just start getting the D wet again, who cares about her, there are a million more like her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 02:53 AM
9

What's with women getting new furniture following a divorce? Must be because they lost their doormat. lol - That sounded funnier in my head. My ex bought new furniture too. Never offered to give me the furniture I bought, just had it chucked. It is possible she is spending it all frivolously to avoid you getting at it. Can't help but think that'd be in direct violation of a TDO that you're both under.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 09:35 PM
2

There's always "Goin' Through The Big D" by Mark Chesnutt. ... I got the Jeep and she got the palace... It's actually a great country song, despite the topic. It always gives me a sarcastic smile, since it came out when my mother was divorcing my father and I was 5 years old, 1994.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 05:38 PM
1

Thanks for the clarification. I would think that since they can't extract CS, they then likely can't extract alimony either.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 07:23 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter