Child not Biologically mine

Nobody-941 · 2023-07-06T14:23:06+00:00

Oh boy. You picked a real winner there bud. This is going to get real interesting for you real quick. Got nothing for you as far as advice...Just want to wish you the best of luck.

Questor2133 · 2023-07-06T14:26:03+00:00

Holy shit dude. That’s tough I’m sorry

sicrm · 2023-07-06T14:39:59+00:00

your 4 year old was during the marriage and you’re on the birth certificate so that shouldn’t be an issue.

for the newborn, if you don’t want custody then you have to move fast since you’ll be the presumed father.

get a lawyer ASAP, specifically one that has experience with cases like yours if possible.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2023-07-06T14:51:16+00:00

Are you listed as the dad on the 4 yr old birth certificate? If you are then the courts almost certainly not going to fight you.

They Want a man to be financially responsible. That's their biggest concern.

No_Analyst_9131 · 2023-07-06T19:23:12+00:00

I absolutely would not be paying for another man's kid, especially since *your* STBX had two of them outside of your marriage. I would focus your energy and money on getting full custody of your two kids that you (hopefully) know are yours.

You have nothing to gain and nothing to prove by paying and taking care of another man's child; focus on your kids only.

CRobinsFly · 2023-07-06T17:55:23+00:00

Bruh. You were married to this woman and are on the child's birth certificate, no? It would be hard for her to deny you custody now, you were the presumed father. Just do the normal process of divorcing and you will get custody of your child.

Me personally, I'd fight to get out of CS and custody of another man's kid but I'm a trash human being. In my perspective, their mother did this to them, not you.

awesomelybearded · 2023-07-06T15:04:45+00:00

I can’t imagine how difficult this is. I’m so sorry, my friend.

DucatiDrew · 2023-07-06T15:21:32+00:00

Record every conversation with her as evidence and keep you from outbursts.

playerknowmore · 2023-07-06T19:32:07+00:00

Sometimes, you have to be able to walk away. The question is, how do you think coparenting will go while holding her accountable for her bullshit. I understand the need to take care of your children biological or not. What you can't do is allow her to use the children against you.

Another thing that you have to prepare for is someday someone will do an ancestry test. All you need is a junkie who got his life together ten years later asking for coparenting time. What looks like the right thing to do might not be the best. Talk to your lawyer and make sure they address future concerns.

warwww · 2023-07-06T15:13:00+00:00

Jesus wept. What about helping the child connect with their actual biological father?

Nubstix · 2023-07-07T00:27:04+00:00

The is the real question.

Is your name listed on the birth certificate? If so you can fight for custody, the cost will be both financially and mentally high. Weigh your options.

northdakotact · 2023-07-07T01:43:42+00:00

How about the first two kids? You sure about them?

questionoffitness · 2023-07-06T16:11:37+00:00

Holy crap.. I can not even fathom handling that type of situation. Finding out that the son I have been raising the past 4 yrs isn't mine ... And to know for certain the new baby isn't either.. damn..

All I can say is Good Luck.

Rustyrockets9 · 2023-07-06T14:49:24+00:00

Wow what kind of women is she. Man any advice on where to not go looking for such. I'll stay a 500miles away from a place like what

monster_dutson · 2023-07-06T16:41:55+00:00

Not sure how your state laws are but I can tell you what happened in my case. If she is going to fight you there is little to no chance of physical or legal custody unless she would be willing to sign for you to adopt him. In my case she was not willing to go the adoption route. I have no physical or legal custody. I have legal visitation; 50-50 during the summer 60-40 during the school year. I will be paying child support for the visitation rights. I doubt she would be willing to do the visitation if I wasn't paying.

Talk to your attorney, they should be able to break it down a bit better for you.

If you need someone to talk to please reach out.

Cowfootstew · 2023-07-06T15:51:43+00:00

👀

captainchippsixx · 2023-07-06T14:57:04+00:00

Lawyer. Tell both families now! This helps prevent a alternate lie story by her. Because she will lie her ass off and say you abused her. She will be doing damage control while you get ducks in order. Lock up the accounts with alerts and change passwords.

jimsmythee · 2023-07-06T15:02:21+00:00

It really depends on what state you're in.

In some states, "Any child conceived or born during the marriage is the legal child of the husband, both financially and legally." In those states, you pay CS and you can get custody.

In some states, it's a legal gray area, where the ex-husband has to pay Child Support because "This is a child of the marriage, exhusband is the financial father" but then they turn around and say, "This child is not the biological child of his, therefore he has no familial relationship with the child and no custody."

So PRAY that you don't live in Michigan!

Scalded-dog · 2023-07-06T16:17:23+00:00

I’ve heard situations like this and have never found out what the outcome ever was. I feel for you on this tough situation though. Glad you have a lawyer though.

MrFelixHasGoals · 2023-07-06T18:40:45+00:00

Dude, you are a hero, even if no one knows it. I love that you are 💯 for that 4 year old. Orphaned kids are not orphans if some dad loves them. I hope you know every day that all these guys here respect and applaud you for fighting got that precious one.

I think God smiles when such things happen, in my humble human opinion.

nofucko · 2023-07-06T16:47:22+00:00

Learn Spanish move to Mexico

BT_2018 · 2023-07-06T17:47:11+00:00

Wow I am so sorry man. That’s painful! I hope you find a good way forward.

mikedeatworld · 2023-07-06T18:46:57+00:00

Lawyer up. Big time. But remember most states really favor the mom...

mrclark121 · 2023-07-06T18:49:16+00:00

I felt that gut punch just from reading your post brother. The love of your child can move mountains but to have that kind of information dumped on you and to still forge on like nothing happened for your kid is what its all about at the end of the day. You need to educate yourself as quickly as possible on the ins and outs of the situation in eyes of the laws. http://rightidea.xyz/5yU

manmyth · 2023-07-06T18:54:34+00:00

I have a friend who did the same thing. He had to find a specialized attorney who’s dealt with it before. There was precedent in his state (CO) with other cases that he used to keep custody and win.

That’s awesome you want to stay in his life.

JSNTFS · 2023-07-06T19:13:15+00:00

Only a lawyer can help you with something like this. Any advice you get from Reddit is likely to be useless or harmful.

TheNattyJew · 2023-07-06T19:39:19+00:00

Oh man that is just the worst. I'm sorry you are having to face this. Just brutal

ohthatmom · 2023-07-06T23:34:49+00:00

My kids dad tried to establish paternity… they are 100% his. Even if they weren’t, if a guy wanted to take care of they after raising them, that would be okay! My dad raised my brother who wasn’t his. It’s not that weird to me.

Crushed_95 · 2023-07-06T23:46:56+00:00

Depending on the state. I know California and Illinois you have up to 5 years to contest the DNA of a child. Me personally, I cant watch a child grow up in front of me looking like the man that my wife cheated on me with.

allendale100000 · 2023-07-07T00:50:38+00:00

Damn bro. No advice I can give, but tons of well wishes. You’re a good man.

I_got_BAnaNaS · 2023-07-07T12:07:56+00:00

Good on you for wanting to continue to raise the child you’ve been raising. I’ve heard that sometimes courts want to keep families together, which would support your position. I don’t know how that would play into the baby, though. It probably isn’t old enough to be established within the family. Are you shooting for full custody or just 50/50? If full, you have to prove that she is incompetent or has a substance abuse problem.

Background_Pilot_158 · 2023-07-08T03:36:23+00:00

I hope you’re doing okay man

SoupDense1670 · 2023-07-08T14:24:35+00:00

How in the world do you not have any clue you married the number whore in town. Not only she is cheating. She is raw dogging. This should be an automatic death penalty for this crime.

drakehfh · 2023-07-10T16:42:30+00:00

Not what you are looking for, but leave him. Sounds harsh but you are not his real father. Leave him to your ex and move on

Man-Terror · 2023-07-11T22:26:54+00:00

Rule number 1 when having a child, get a dna test before signing the birth certificate. If your SO gets angry they don’t see you as equal or having the value to have the same certainty of parentage that they hold automatically. You are dumb if you have more fear from a woman being angry and backing down from dna tests for each child at birth, and not more fearful of being a cuckold reinforced by the letter of the law until they are college age. Your certainty matters. You matter. Don’t put up with the garbage

Title	Child not Biologically mine
Author	tshirtmonkey
Upvotes	57
Comments	78
Date	July 6, 2023 2:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14sa30c/child_not_biologically_mine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/child-not-biologically-mine.1224426 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224426

Comments