For brevity I won't go through the whole history, but after almost 15 years of marriage I'm accepting my wife's request for a divorce. I am about to turn 40. Over the years, when she would very angry she would say she wanted a divorce. I'm talking probably 20+ times. A little over a week ago she asked again saying that "I needed to let her go". I said okay and began doing just that. I've worked hard for our family to provide and be a good husband and father. We have a 10 and 12 year old. We live in a great house, nice neighborhood, I'm earning approx 175k, we have very little debt, and we own our cars outright. She is in education but has taken the year off for a LOA so she can pursue other interests and trying to decide what to next if she doesnt return to her job, so I have been singularly supporting us. Despite the income, our cost of living (21% over national average, housing being 41% above the national average) is high and we live a little above paycheck to paycheck. All that being said, after I accepted this most recent request for divorce, she has since been asking (not quite, but almost begging) for me to reconsider. At first, I thought this was absurd. Granted, we (especially I) have a LOT to lose. Our family being the most important, just like everyone who's gone through this. However, I can't seem to get past the fact that she has asked this so many times, and each time I work on whatever it is she claims I'm doing to push her away such as not being sensitive enough, not cuddling enough, not telling her she's pretty often enough, not smiling enough, being too defensive in arguments, etc. It mostly comes down to the fact that I just am simply not the right person for her to meet her emotional, and in some ways, physical needs. This I have accepted and thus the reason I am extremely hesitant to give it one last try.

I had the idea that if she was willing to sign a post-nup to equitably distribute assets if she yet again wants a divorce, I would be more willing. This also would include other expectations such as therapy, continued couples counseling, ground rules for conflict resolution, etc. Our house is worth around 1 million with approximately 650k in equity. I have around 500k in retirement, she has around 100 (she is 7 years older than me).

Hopefully my overview is helpful to get an idea of the situation. My questions mainly revolve around we should try mediation for the divorce or should hire individual council. She agrees I should keep the house rather than sell (I've put a shit load of work into it) but I don't know the best way to handle the 300+k I'd have to buy her out with.

She's been talking more and more about what she would to to reconcile, but i am having a really hard time imagining the future where we don't end up back where we are now.

Advice, previous experience, or suggestions would really help as i feel at this point it is up to me which direction we go. Thanks!