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Enough_Youth_4564 Archive

View 29 posts and 309 comments by Enough_Youth_4564 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
46

Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 04:09 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 11:33 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 08:52 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 06:24 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 06:05 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:24 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 07:27 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:18 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 11:37 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 03:57 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 01:35 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 08:31 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 12:36 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 04:22 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 12:27 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:42 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:59 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:59 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 02:55 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 02:20 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 02:10 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 04:07 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 04:33 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:30 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:23 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:33 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 01:57 AM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:11 PM
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Enough_Youth_4564/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 04:30 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Fucking lawyers..
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 09:57 AM
2

I don’t get it. You have your kids all the time and you’re crying for what again?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 05:20 AM
1

I hope I won’t be remembering her name in 20 years..
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 05:15 AM
5

I’m happy for you. Good luck, and be the best dad you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 05:12 AM
4

Never trust lawyers. Their business is inherently against your interest. My two cents: 1- set a budget, and tell you lawyer this is what you are willing to pay to win x,y,z and monitor your legal cost against how close or far you are getting to x,y,z. If it’s dragging, hold your lawyer accountable and tell him/her to adjust. Be firm. 2- check out BillingLens.com, it’s made to monitor legal cost and tells you chances of your lawyer strategy to succeed in your county.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 05:24 AM
5

5 months since I finalized a very nasty divorce, and I can’t agree more with all what OP said. We live once. Take the energy from that punch in the guts you received and use it to become the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 08:53 AM
19

I finalized a very nasty divorce in March this year… and as much as I hate that snake I married, I’m thankful that she fucked off to let me discover myself again. Divorce can be the best opportunity a man can have.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:32 AM
9

$150k+ My lawyer was taking me on a ride... At one point I discovered she was changing her rates in her invoices, when I confronted her she referred me to the footnotes in the agreement that she can do that and I have 7 days to push back on it. My lawyer almost certainly billed me for things she didn’t do or exaggerated her hours in minor things she did. I am now working on an AI service that checks and verifies lawyers agreements/invoices , sets a budget, and helps newbies like me manage their …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 11:46 AM
2

Thanks for the explanations
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 03:38 AM
3

You made few mistakes here: 1- Women can ask for divorce for many reasons including a dead bed room. 2- Islamic marriage requires a defined agreement of what the wife would take in case of divorce, more like a prenup. This can include alimony if both parties agree to it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 03:55 AM
5

Divorce lawyers are the worst. They size the money they can make from you and play the case out to get their numbers. If your lawyer is acting like this, change him. My advice is to spend as little as you can on lawyers. There’s is no positive ROI there
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:00 AM
3

Top advice here. I would emphasize setting a budget and holding them to it. Yes the case CAN go in different directions, and yes it CAN have different conversations, but make it a point that you want the shortest route to achieve (whatever you want to achieve).. I know a company building an AI agent that helps manage and guide lawyers spend and I think it will be a game changer in this space.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/25 12:32 PM
4

Run
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 03:40 AM
1

It’s not you. It’s her hormones.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 03:06 AM
3

That was my case. She wasn’t cheating, but she lost something in her mind that I couldn’t figure out. I can tell you it wasn’t cheating. But that was my case… You have to grey rock her. Lawyer up. The more you try to get her back the more she will want to distance herself. Trust us on this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:32 AM
11

No respect = kick her out of your life. Once respect is broken, that’s it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 03:24 AM
1

One year in the basement is not really separation. Maybe consider 1 year of living away ? If financially that would work for you.. but consider that a divorce will also cost you money for separate living anyway… so this can be a chance to try the divorce before actually doing it. You can also put conditions on her during this time to redeem herself.. I think this will also be easier on the kids and on you to see how they will react. You got options and leverage and a wife that didn’t go full cra…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 03:55 PM
1

Divorce is ugly , I can tell you that. It’s hard, distracting, and will affect your children in the short term (custody and new routine) and long term (new partners etc.). Aside from her immaturity of asking for divorce every now and then, how’s your day to day life with her? Do you’ll fight? Are you intimate? If she comes back to her rational and signs the post-nup, do you see yourself aging with her? Would a separation for sometime to see how you both would be help? You clearly have good lever…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 06:47 PM
18

Grey rock. Lawyer (set a budget). Keep an eye on this thread. Whatever happens you will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 04:35 AM
1

Can you explain more ?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 03:22 AM
8

No Peru buddy, no international travel for the kids. Your x wife can go fuck her self there. No court will allow her to take them if you don’t approve it
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 03:39 AM
2

How much did you pay in total for legal fees over those two years?
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 04:30 AM
2

Normal , and you’re not alone. Life throws shit at us, and this shit comes in different shapes and forms, but men are men because they can handle it. You have your life, you’re good, she didn’t deserve you and she wasn’t committed. Her loss. Focus on you and your kids without the deadweight of emotional burden.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 11:46 AM
2

I agree with you OP.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:09 AM
1

And make sure they don’t drain you financially. There are ways where you can keep them in check, make sure they’re not doing unnecessary work to charge you. Basically to have them within the budget you agreed upon when you hire the lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 01:52 AM
1

Ah it seems you’re in Australia.. In Texas , from my experience at least, filing first gave her the upside of making claims of abuse that put me on defence throughout our case. I knew she wanted out and wanted to maximize financial gain, had I filed first I would have substantially challenged her abuse claims because “why didn’t file for divorce if he was really abusing you?”. It’s not a rock solid argument, but that’s from my personal experience
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 01:31 AM
2

The more you beg the more you lose. Greg stone her, lawyer up , and if you’re lucky enough, smart enough, and strong enough to, you will file before she files. Huge upside for whoever files first.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 05:23 AM
2

Keep it to the minimum with who? The lawyer or the wife ? Also, what do you mean by actively managing your case ?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 05:19 AM
1

I have a couple of questions for you: 1- Did you initially expect it to be in $100k range? Would 2- were you able to control the ongoing cost? I mean, did you speak with your lawyer about what’s the billing about and how it can be reduced etc. ?
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 02:40 PM
3

How many Children ? For two kids , Texas is maximum $2,300 per month for child support with your custody schedule. You’re already paying more than you should
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 10:08 AM
7

Hey, it’s not that bad. Could be worse. Some men work oversees and see their kids once or twice a year. Driving every other weekend is fine. Listen to podcasts and enjoy the ride. You will probably miss some weekends, but that’s fine too. They will always be your girls and you seem to be a good man who won’t abandon them. As for your x wife… don’t worry, she will pay for her deeds. They always do. Wait and see. Focus on yourself now and become the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:44 AM
1

1- Will it really financially ruin you ? 2- Wouldn’t she and having the kids full time with you cost that amount at least ?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 07:58 AM
4

Find another woman. A hobby. Millions and millions of people go through this and come out of it unscathed. If they can, you can.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 04:47 AM
1

Search online , someone in your county familiar with tracing work for family courts will be great
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 07:41 PM
3

I did yes. Their role was to trace separate property (from inheritance) and that I didn’t “fraud the community property” which my x wife accused me of (knowing that she didn’t work and I was treating her like a princess). It cost money, and time, but gave me a solid report that I used as leverage in mediation. I didn’t end up taking out my separate property which I proved because I wanted to end the marriage in mediation without going to court. My lawyer who encouraged me to get that financial a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 03:51 AM
7

That was probably the bitch I married
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 03:43 AM
1

Heh yeah mine didn’t want to reconcile … went through 14 months of hard court war, multiple lawyers and more than $250k in lawyer fees down the drain… all for her to end up with less what I begged her to take. Their world is telling them they will win everything, why would they reconcile?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 03:18 AM
2

You’re probably right…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 05:40 AM
1

How come you’re doing multiple mediation ? Why not go directly to court for a final hearing ?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 08:50 PM
1

Thanks, super helpful. Did you have any challenges around custody ?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 07:21 PM
6

Congratulations. Now it’s your opportunity to become the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 04:28 AM
5

💯 It’s a wake up call to prioritising yourself, without the negativity an undeserving woman brings. Also becoming a better version of yourself is the ultimate F U to her and who believed her..
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 02:57 PM
2

Isn’t it great when hate blinds them ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 04:20 AM
1

Day of filing or day of finalising the divorce ?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 02:19 PM
2

Good man. Court didn’t penalise you for siphoning community money ?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 02:19 PM
2

You push yourself not to think about it, and focus on the silver linings of being free from a wife like that. I thank the universe everyday for this.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/25 01:59 PM
11

Women are more complicated than men…physically, emotionally, and mentally. In cases like mine (and from what I read yours looks similar), they lacked commitment to marriage/family. It could be because of another man, or some other issue… in all cases, a divorce from an uncommitted wife is a bliss (for men who strong and smart to handle their divorce)
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 08:33 PM
20

When mine threatened to file , I discovered she had been planning it for at least 2 years as well. Waiting to hit the 10-year mark to maximize gains… also SAHM , privileged , with everything most normal women would die to have… in my case she didn’t even want to do counseling or therapy. During the discovery phase of the divorce she shared recordings she had of me from 3 years ago, financial documents and business contracts from years before that… mind you, no abuse or any major conflict. Nothin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 07:57 PM
1

It’s shit, we’re all in the same boat. But you get to have the remaining of your life free of her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 07:44 PM
1

Yeah , she lied so you lie. Many states are no-fault-divorce states, so you can be as awful as she claims and still this wouldn’t translate to nothing in division of property.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 04:20 AM
1

In which state are you ?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 04:19 AM
8

Say the truth, now that you’re richer you want a hotter wife. It’s okay… you dirty stud
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 04:28 AM
8

Hah I didn’t leave the house either and she’s been going crazy about it. She’s staying at her parents’ house 10 min away from me and we share the kids almost 50/50. She filed a motion asking the court to have her take the house until the divorce is finalized, the judge told her NO. What kind of a man doesn’t leave the house for a cheating wife? A real man.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 05:14 AM
2

Ah yeah makes sense - I think mine will remain scorched earth till after life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 06:08 AM
1

4 years !! Fuck !! Why ? Can’t you have a final hearing date set and get it over ??
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 03:47 AM
5

Is it me or there are more women joining this sub ?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 05:53 AM
1

I’m in my early 40s. It will be very possible that when I turn 50, I will marry a smoking hot 30 year old… and my kids will be in college then…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 07:36 AM
1

You can be richer in 10 years. She won’t be prettier in 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:45 PM
1

This is what we call in business schools “sunk cost”… it’s behind you now. Your life and your freedom and your self respect and your ability to start fresh are all ahead of you now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:44 PM
2

You’re free from someone who didn’t appreciate you and would’ve mentally and emotionally drained you. This is wealth today and after 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:43 PM
1

We’re free now to become the men we really are. Amen!
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:42 PM
8

Money will come back - cream her in court so her lies don’t metamorphose to something else.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 03:41 AM
1

No he’s trash, would never donate to anything. His best friend however probably did… Yeah..
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:33 AM
1

Yes, given that the judge refused to recused herself initially.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 04:30 AM
13

It doesn’t suck. You didn’t want to age with a cheater. You will have a beautiful life without her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 05:18 AM
2

Gym/sauna/cold plunges/hot tub.. Do a sauna /cold plunge cycle for 2 or 3 times. Then take melatonin And baby sleep you will have
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 04:54 AM
3

Now you know :)
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 11:58 AM
5

I’m on “go to the gym, hang out with friends and don’t be scared to meet new women” drugs and it’s fantastic…. Works like magic.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 06:04 AM
1

You don’t have kids, so you should be able to find a woman with no prior marriage. You can also try an overseas vacation …. Choose a continent depending on your type. Many many women out there who want to come to murikah
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:44 AM
8

Hey, with all love and brotherhood I tell you, man up. She didn’t want to stay or give your relationship another chance, for whatever reason, then she’s not worthy of your feelings. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 03:43 AM
1

I see it as the cost of peace of mind….
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 03:12 AM
1

Hah yeah I was also nervous about it. Turned to be okay with an au pair that went through re-match, so I had her for 3 months only. I have a new one joining us soon after this one leaves. She has 50% of her time off (when I don’t have the kids) , and she has tons of au pair friends. Look at nationalities that are known to be hardworking and meticulous…. And see her like a big sister of your daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 03:11 AM
5

Similar to you, only adhoc fights. Nothing physical , nothing deep. Then found out she’s been planning this for years. It’s always the case. They wanted out long before they asked for it. Number one reason for divorce by women is their lack of commitment to family. They always regret it. My best advice to you is not to argue with her and show her that okay, if you want to go go , I’m sad this is happening , but if you want to go ——-> go. Don’t cry or beg or argue or fight. Let her go, keep your …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 06:30 AM
2

Same story. She wants the house which I bought with community and separate property. I don’t want to give it to her, because she’s an ungrateful bitch. Also she can’t afford keeping it, so she will be selling it and my kids will lose the last sense of stability they have. Curious to know how much $$ have you spent so far? We’re $100k in, before mediation and before court. Seems will be $200k in after court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 03:00 AM
1

lol good for you man.. fight for every penny. I told her you’re leaving too early, it’s not going to be the ending you saw on “The Real Housewives Show”
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 03:24 AM
25

Don’t leave the house.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 02:56 AM
1

Thanks. Will check it out
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 07:37 AM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 07:35 AM
7

Doesn’t matter why she left. It could be one reason could be multiple reasons. She lie and believe her lies. Whatever it is, your goal is to move on and become the best version of yourself. My x did the same, except with a lot of hate and blackmail and wanting revenge for some reasons only in her mind. And we have two kids … if you don’t have any kids, consider yourself very lucky and move on
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 12:39 AM
2

Changed profile picture, unfriended and blocked. We’ve been separated for 7 months , she filed and pushed for divorce , but for some weird reason she still has our family picture on her profile. Crazy bitch is crazy
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 04:19 AM
2

How did they establish the companies valuations?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 07:18 PM
3

Get a life coach, a real one. And man up
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 03:59 AM
3

1- how long has it been going ? 2- why are you paying for her fees? And what’s the mechanism for that ? Like her lawyer (who’s her AP ??) send you his bills and you pay them ?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 03:57 AM
5

I have a very similar case, without the AP and with a health sex life until two weeks before she filed and went crazy. Apparently she had been planning divorce for years, waiting to cash out when I exit my company or get real funding. I got lucky by pushing her to file when I’m still poor. Look, if she had an AP, don’t give her shit and fight for the last dime. The.last.dime.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 03:50 AM
5

Mine was a marriage for 10 years, two kids with also two year difference. She turned into a crazy aggressive witch that had been planning divorce for few years (collecting documents on me, recording me etc.). I’m having my kids 50/50 in summers and 12 days a month during school year. They’re older than yours so it’s a bit easier for me. Yours will grow and it will be easy for you too. But at their age you will need help. Do you have family around ?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 03:28 AM
1

Why not file bankruptcy?
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:07 PM
3

Gym and maybe Botox (It worked great with me and there’s no shame with it costs $300 every 6 months), take care of your skin , perfume , dress up nicely etc… But most importantly , confidence. This doesn’t age.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 06:24 AM
3

Please tell me more… 10 months including the temporary agreement ? Or 10 months from when the divorce was finalized ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 04:53 AM
1

Can you discuss property before kids ? In my case for example, I would love to keep the kids 50% of the time. But if I don’t manage to buy her out (with a reasonable share of the house equity - the seperate property I put in the house) , we will have to sell the house and I will not be able to have them 50% of the time in a two bedroom apartment. My kids will hate it, and will prefer to stay at STBX parents house (where she lives now).
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 04:56 AM
6

Have fun with the boys. Legit men’s time smoking cigars and talking worldly stuff without having to worry about my crazy x hallucinations
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 04:14 AM
1

I want to convince the judge with this, not her… Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 03:29 PM
0

What about the best interest of the kids? It’s been their house for years, right across the street from where they live. Both kids are struggling with the divorce and all the changes, both in therapy. The house is literally the only stability they are left with. She can’t buy me out, I can buy her out over installments. How’s that for a reason ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 05:07 AM
0

Why’s the law on her side ?
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 08:57 PM
2

Not to give her money I don’t have
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 08:27 PM
5

I have exclusive use of the house in the temporary agreement. I don’t want to give her a big lump sum of money now because 1- I can’t afford it and 2- fuck her. I want to buy her out over 3-5 years or more. Let her wait. She was nothing short of evil and nasty and wants the most amount she can get immediately. Don’t want to give her that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 07:58 PM
-2

I want to buy her out, but can’t afford it now and don’t want to sell the house. I want to buy her out over 3-5 year installments.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 07:56 PM
2

Thanks, yes I have a lawyer. But this subreddit has been more helpful tbh in tactics like this the my lawyer… You said if I can buy her out within a year at most… why one year ? Can it not be 3-5 years ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 07:56 PM
5

Could pay her out in installments , over 5-7 years, a possibility ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 07:53 PM
6

I have a lawyer. A bit passive one though. I’m getting more insights and strategies from this subreddit than what I’m getting her..
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 07:52 PM
0

Anything less than physical/emotional abuse should not (in general) be a reason for divorce. Unless the woman is not committed to the marriage anymore. Lack of commitment is the number one reason for women divorcing. Whatever the reasons are, blaming yourself is not going to help. Move quickly into the mentality of “it is what it is, I will move on and be a better person.” Also FYI, divorce life can be fantastic for a man who knows how to stand on his feet.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 08:21 PM
10

A good wife/mother would go above and beyond to fix her marriage. Unless you were physically and emotionally (truly) abusing her. And I mean truly, not the BS that some wives claim. In anyway , 50% of marriages in america end in divorce. Don’t overthink it , you will have another chance with other women. Take care of the kids, take care of yourself, minimize your losses, and handle it like James Bond would.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 05:00 PM
3

No. But I will file a lawsuit anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 02:56 PM
1

Love it
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 03:09 AM
1

Top advice, thanks. It’s on Monday, I’m working on my mindset and getting ready for it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 12:22 AM
2

I wouldn’t like it if your wife files before you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 09:23 PM
-1

She recorded me
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 09:13 PM
-2

How would you answer “did you call your wife a stupid bitch?” ,the answer is yes, but the reason I called her is because she was calling me names or provoking me. A “yes” without elaboration will hurt me. No ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 07:45 PM
5

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 02:01 PM
1

I like that, thanks. Can I yawn and act uninterested while giving a generic answer ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 11:44 AM
0

Nice. What else ? Can I yawn and act completely not interested or phased out ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 11:41 AM
2

So it’s about character, and not about proofs and claims and right and wrong ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 05:10 AM
-5

The “reaction” is not being aggressive or angry or disrespectful. Just sarcastic, belittle her lawyers attempts to get under my skin. You know what mean? Witty, annoying, sarcastic, but with subtle fuck you bitch attitude
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 04:30 AM
2

I can’t feel being blamed and shamed for things I didn’t do. It’s been 5 months of me on defence against a whore that went crazy to destroy our family and my life. I’m not going to take it from a nasty lawyer that knows her client is a liar.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 04:20 AM
1

Why is it a bad idea? No one is telling me why
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 04:19 AM
0

Thank you for the elaborate answer. You asked why would I do that, it’s because that’s my style in defusing my frustration or short temper. I will still answer honestly and give the direct answer , but adding some spice to it will give me confidence of moving forward in a controlled manner. I feel better if I say something like “I explained to you few times already but it seems you’re not prepared enough or don’t get what I’m saying” or “you’re asking me if I am hiding money when your client has…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 04:17 AM
1

Can I be cool and upbeat , but a little prick when her lawyer is being a bitch with me? I can be
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:54 AM
-10

Good point. My lawyer immediate answer was just shut up and answer concisely. I don’t like that. It felt like she wants me to “respect lawyers”. Fuck that. I will push her to explain my limits more.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:53 AM
3

That’s what the lawyer said, but don’t you think the judge would be affected by it. Divorce judges seem to have a very wide room to be as subjective as they want. No?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 08:40 PM
1

I’m on my best shape ever, physically at least. But they’ve been damaging my reputation, her and her parents. I must fix that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 11:27 AM
3

Texas, but she will use this in court to her maximize pay day.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 03:06 AM
3

Yes she’s planning or use it in court, claiming abuse in order to prove she couldn’t work while married to me in order to take me to the cleaners…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 03:06 AM
5

lol I had to read that again too. Good for you OP, I’m hitting the gym and love my physical transformation. I’m at 4 eggs only brother, how tall and what’s your weight now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 02:18 AM
2

It’s a naked picture of me with her next to me infront of the bathroom mirror and the phone in her hand. Simple.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:25 PM
2

Working on not acting emotionally, but I have a lot at stake here. Not sure what the strike at the right time exactly mean… I have her on deposition on Friday and she will asked a lot about this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:23 PM
4

No man - that’s not true. Not in the U.S at least.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:15 PM
4

Thank you for the questions. My lawyer didn’t reply yet, we’re preparing for her deposition on Friday. I asked my lawyer to have a censored version of the picture printed and handed over to her during the deposition to explain why she did send it, why did she save it, and how fucking stupid she is. Will update you on Friday.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:10 PM
3

How come? Why would the judge discriminate ? SHE took the picture and SHE showed it around.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:06 PM
2

You mean I let her circulate it further ? She already showed it at least to her family and her lawyer/paralegal.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:05 PM
3

You mean I let her circulate it further ?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:04 PM
4

She’s not, only me. Everyone is asking the same question. Have her in deposition on Friday and it’s on the list to ask.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:03 PM
1

No, it’s just me naked with my dick hanging out. I’m a father of two young boys and the ceo of a small company. If the picture goes out it will surely be humiliating.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 01:15 PM
1

I was told that it’s almost always the woman who decides when and who she wants to marry…. I had a similar experience. She didn’t let me go for years until I finally proposed. What a fucking liability lol.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 03:01 AM
2

Yep, same. Abuse , control, and the last one was that I forced sex on her. All lies. We fought every now and then , but never laid a finger on her. She had recordings of me calling her “stupid bitch” when she was flirting with another man in front of me. I told my lawyer I will call her a stupid bitch everyday because facts are facts. Anyway, depending on the state this is all useless. In my case the maximum she would get is 5-10% of community property. I have 4 years of daily what’s app chat be…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:06 PM
6

It’s okay. You got a used car and it turned out to be a lemon.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 12:00 PM
4

Good for you. I’m following your footsteps here, will report soon on how I turned the shock and pain to everything I needed to become the best version of myself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 03:13 AM
11

Yeah she doesn’t want a husband, she wants a caretaker. You probably want to tell her that you want a divorce you can’t be her driver anymore. I read so much about men not sleeping with their wives for months and years. This by itself is a reason to divorce imo.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 11:43 AM
6

Lost trust , but still love how they taste
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 10:43 PM
3

I tried to talk her out of this when she came to pick up her stuff (with her friends and filthy parents) , and it’s the only thing I regret in my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 01:02 AM
1

Pay the minimum, increase your debt, be poor until it’s signed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 04:36 AM
3

3X a day ! Good for you man. And have the kids is awesome. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 04:31 AM
1

If thinking about it is not getting you any new ideas/plans/strategies, then stop thinking about it. Just stop thinking about it. I delegated everything to a lawyer I trust and started seeing my divorce as a legal case I have to win. Drop all the emotions, I know it’s not easy, but you got to do it. She’s dead. You have kids/finances to deal with as a case.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 04:23 AM
3

Do you have trial scheduled already ?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 04:16 AM
1

Discover new places ? Music concerts ? Art exhibitions? Cooking? Is she’s into sports we can watch games…. Etc Women 22-26 years of age can have everything I would want, without the drama.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 11:42 PM
5

41 and would love to hang out with early 20s. 1- They’re still feminine 2- They show me what this generation is up to, helps me better understand where my kids are heading to. 3- Don’t remind me of my crazy STBX
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:18 PM
2

Why you wanna do that ?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:43 AM
4

I feel mediators just work on getting someone to accept something to wrap it up. Mine is in July, will work on sending them her way not mine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 04:17 AM
21

I cried first few months, now I thank god she left. Last thing I wanted was an ungrateful woman to age with.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 03:06 AM
12

Lawyer: yesterday ! Keep the kids close or you will lose them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 02:38 AM
10

End what man ? Wtf are you talking about. You’re not the first and won’t be the last to divorce and move out. Keep your head up and be the best man/father you can be. Fuck the repairs and fuck the memories, you can have an amazing future ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 04:45 AM
2

My kids are 7 and 5. They both go to school, but my work can be very demanding and I have no family around. In terms of pay , au pairs get $200 a week (in addition to the living expenses). Overall it’s not expensive, especially that having the kids 50% should remove the child support I pay the devil.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 12:24 PM
7

Most of the divorce cases in this sub are from abusive, lying, cheating, delusional or spoiled women that decided “they’re not happy.” You either didn’t explain well why you want to divorce her, or you just seem “not happy”.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 04:07 AM
6

Continuous PDF with no particular order and occasional 180 degrees flipped pages would be the epic.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 04:02 AM
5

Wait till to you go through the discovery phase, and she shares her arguments on why she deserves more money or more child custody. My ex portrayed me in the worst image ever (note, I’m a good man). I have 4 year history of our daily sms and what’s pp chats and pictures that any junior analyst can analyse to determine that her claims of abuse are lies. But yes, expect the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:48 PM
3

Which state ?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 06:23 AM
7

I discovered she voice recordings of our fights since 2021… luckily I was a gentleman even when I was calling her a lying bitch and she has nothing on me. She’s been keeping records of my financials since before then. She had hard copies of business contracts I signed hoping she would make a case for more money. This is the mother my children, and a woman I’ve been with for 14 years. So glad it all cleared up now and I’m getting rid of her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 02:45 AM
2

Buying the house was probably the milestone she was waiting for. Houses are real assets they crave to have as part of their plan
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:39 PM
1

Perfect. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 01:04 PM
4

Top feedback
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:35 PM
2

For nice guys… and you seem to be one. But what you did is what the book preaches anyway
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:33 PM
4

Did you read no more mr since guy ?
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 04:03 AM
6

This is all true.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 05:15 AM
12

I think I am in peak sympathy now. By the time the divorce is finalised, she will be one step away from being a memory (and she probably knows that…)
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 05:13 AM
2

Why ?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 03:47 AM
0

Hang in there for few years , yes, until he’s 12.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 03:47 AM
2

I’m not trying anything. We are born alone, we die alone. If you love your kids, become the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 03:20 AM
3

I suspect that OP is actually a woman. And if he’s a man… I’m suspicious how someone who understands women that much is going through divorce. Excellent post though
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 03:06 AM
2

You have a lot of things beside the kids. You have you man. Take care of YOU. And YOU will take care of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 02:48 AM
2

I’m kinda of in the same boat OP. I think most will look at it strictly as community property vs. Separate property etc.. But I’m hoping the judge would consider other elements like your case for example. I couldn’t get an answer for that. However, what I did (and suggest you do), is get official documents that prove what you said about her potential inheritance. Hire a private investigator if you don’t have access to such documents. I would have those ready and present them in your case.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 02:39 AM
5

Look, it’s shit, but you got to manage your feelings and move on. You’re not the first and won’t be the last, don’t over think it. Just kick her out of your life and move on. If there are kids, be the best father you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 02:43 AM
4

Ctrl+alt+dlt And move on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 03:58 AM
3

Amen A man
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:49 AM
8

As a black belt in divorced women psychology, I concur with all what been said above.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:03 PM
4

I’m going through the now and I’m neither saving on anything I want to buy for myself nor i’m saving on attorney fees. When I was $7,000 into my attorney fees, I realized she had spent more than $25,000 (taking loans from her family and friends). Tell your friend to see the world with a 50% Sale lens. Everything is 50% cheaper to him and only him. The Sale will be over by final agreement signature.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 03:27 AM
2

Loneliness is not an excuse or a reason for anything. This is literally under your full control. Figure it out. You can.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 02:46 AM
9

Her threatening is enough to raise your concerns. But what really really matters is knowing who is she talking to and what kind of advice is she getting. If she’s surrounded by people supporting her with divorce, know that she WILL file it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 04:01 AM
1

What kind of a judge asks for a breathalyzer because of a crazy wife claim ?! Where was your lawyer ?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 03:52 AM
4

It’s okay to hurt for a bit, but make sure you’re on the positive track. You get on the track by reminding yourself, everytime you’re down, that: a- This too shall pass b- A woman who didn’t appreciate you and stick with you, regardless of who and what you are, is not someone you want in your life. In my case, I’m discovering how epic life can be without a drama queen ungrateful bitch like my stbx. I feel blessed every day.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:39 AM
8

Haha love it. It hurts me so much when I see a man trapped in his guilt and fears and regrets because of some woman that he loved many years before. Shit on any woman that tries to break her husband. Kick her out of your life like you would kick a rat to the sewers. Good for you man. Keep inspiring.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:38 AM
1

You did the right thing man. What kind of a crazy mother feeds her 6-year old in baby milk bottles ?! Good luck. There are lawyers that take cases in pro bono, I hope yours is good and ethical.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 12:32 AM
1

And what have you seen in this regards ?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 12:43 AM
-2

In Texas the court wouldn’t give spousal support for more than 6 months. It’s not by law , but kind of the norm. At least that’s what I’ve been told, and hoping for…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 04:48 AM
0

There’s no alimony in Texas. She can fight for spousal support , but in Texas this is limited to 6 months maximum. and the fact you only been together for 5 years makes it even harder for her to get that. Just be kind and as amicable as possible OP, because a judge can override all this if he sees you as a prick and she’s a victim.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:19 AM
5

Millions of men around the world have the exact same feelings as you. We, men, should aspire to big things in life. Making a woman central to your life is like giving yourself away for nothing. You have children , you probably have parents and siblings, you have friends, you have YOU. What is a woman in all this ? A detail. Someone you can and will replace.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:13 AM
4

This is a great piece that should be shared over and over again. Well done OP.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:01 AM
10

I can’t over emphasize how okay it will be, and how getting over her and her cheating is something you can do. Millions of men have been through this, they turned the page, and moved on. Millions of men are being cheated upon as we speak. losing a cheating woman is a blessing. dont overcomplicate your thoughts and ask questions. just drop her and move on. Karma is real.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 02:46 AM
3

Congratulations. Everything you lost you can build again. Thats the beauty of it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 03:21 AM
1

Good luck, I feel the same way. I know it will complicate things and a not a clean end with her, but I feel it’s worth trying. I’m not worried about her bringing someone to my bed, she seems to be “giving herself to Jesus” , so… Please keep me posted on how things go.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 02:57 AM
8

Apple Watch, learn how to activate the recorder quickly, and start recording anytime you’re around her , regardless of whether you’re talking or not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 02:52 AM
2

I appreciate that, all makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 06:54 PM
1

Create an S-Corp for you, open an account for it, she can’t have access to that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:07 PM
15

The more you try the more you will lose. End it and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:01 PM
1

She has her parent’s house, I will get a 1-bedroom. It just feels better than selling the house and kids end up moving from one rented place to another.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:58 PM
1

This law that after marriage property should be 50/50 is not fair. It makes sense to 50/50 if they were contributing $$ to the household, otherwise the formula should change and should be relative to other factors (how much they supported the breadwinner , fault in divorce , seperate property etc..). Whatever administration pushed for this 50/50 did so to win 50% of the votes (women), and I believe this law is a main contributor to empowering gold diggers and breaking families.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:13 AM
3

How old are the kids ? You can always win them back. Fix the issues that they might hate you for , and one day they will understand that they are not her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 04:00 AM
6

When they tell me “oh I’m sorry man” , I respond with “sorry for what ? I’m the happiest I’ve been since 10 years”
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:59 AM
1

Interested in this as well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:46 AM
3

Yeah the counseling first, it’s worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:43 AM
1

Sorry man, I married a whore too. It feels like the opposite of winning a lottery ticket. But meh, shit happens, there’s so much in life more important than whores. Are you going to fight for the house ? Are you in a community state too? My attorney is saying we can fight for it and along with other facts like fault in divorce , financial means, kids custody etc.. the judge might give me the house.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:36 AM
2

Was the title in both their names ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 01:41 PM
2

Which state was he in ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 10:06 AM
0

What if she left the marital property and I stayed in it during the temporary separation?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 04:53 AM
2

Get outta here !!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 04:39 AM
2

Incredible
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:25 AM
3

I am laughing with my kids when I have them. Genuine laughter.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 02:17 AM
1

We lived in 4 countries over the last 10 years. There is no way I have access to old accounts , I don’t even have the account numbers. I focused on where the money is, not where the money isn’t! But neither her nor her attorney have any good intentions. If they did, they would have talked and asked questions and looked at the tax filings and income/expenditure instead making accusations of fraud.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:44 AM
5

Beautifully said
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:29 AM
2

Start with what Google will show you. Hire a lawyer before asking for an aggressive lawyer. The aggressiveness part will play bigger later. Record everything you can. Keep calm. Protect your finances.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 03:16 AM
6

Yep, typical. Grey rock, it’s driving her crazy. We’re preparing for disposition soon, we’ll be asking her about all the threats and accusations she’s been making. The moment of truth is upon us.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 06:45 PM
3

Thats exactly what it is. After 10 years living in America she just learned what 401K is.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:30 AM
1

How it can be worse than going to trial ?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:29 AM
1

I know. Could have been much worse in an alimony state. But she’s anyway planning to take me to the cleaners, regardless what the disposition proves.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:27 AM
1

I am in TX ha! Is it even possible to “lend” my assets ? At this point I’m warming up for bankruptcy to give her shit, then start all over after I’m done with her and her fucking parents.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:26 AM
11

The life we live has many (many many) painful experiences. Losing a woman should be the least (least least) important of those experiences.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 03:24 AM
17

Don’t trust her , the well is poisoned. If you really want to test her intentions, draft a postnup and make it a condition for you to come back to the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:35 AM
7

Texas. It’s community until the divorce is finalized…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 03:31 AM
1

Thank you for all this. I’m a very loving person, I don’t hate, which is a weakness. If I don’t hate her, I will be taken advantage of, or at least not prepare enough while she’s gathering everything that can hurt me. Will research more stoicism in divorce situations.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 04:44 PM
1

I just want to hate her more in order to get to a place where I really don’t care about her any more. The more I hear her angry, spewing hate, and greed, and nastiness , and disrespect , and hear her talking about her fake dark memories with me the closer I get to writing her off completely.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 04:01 PM
2

I sometimes enjoy engaging with her in arguments while she’s threatening me and I’m telling her everything I feel about her and her parents, how cheap and petty she is etc.. These would be very ugly conversations but I just feel good about showing her what I feel. We’re still early in the process. 2 months into the divorce application. Am I doing it wrong ?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 03:20 PM
5

Yes, women have the power to become ultra evil. The woman you loved is not there anymore and will never come back again. I can’t emphasize how important for you to understand that she’s gone. And of this has been for years, then it’s gone gone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 03:15 PM
5

I’m going through something similar, except that her parents are 100% as evil and vindictive as she is. She’s literally threatening me to give her more than what she would get. At this stage I know that court is inevitable , and I’m making sure she doesn’t sleep one night without knowing that court will make her lose more. You can’t rational with them, you either grey rock or just fight.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 03:11 PM
4

Whoa!! You seem to have a black belt in women psycho ! All what you said makes perfect sense.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 03:08 PM
8

Can’t agree more. Bonding with my friends and old friends has been a great help. Who needs a crazy wife when you have good buddies ..
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 02:28 AM
11

I’m going through this right now. The system is unfair, especially towards the working spouse. In my case she didn’t work and I was the sole provider, now she’s just sitting on her ass with her parents and just rejecting my very generous offers because they have nothing to lose. I’m paying for her fees and she’s comfortable with the temporary arrangement we have in place. Meanwhile the kids are suffering being amid all this and I’m wasting my time and my money. If we go to court I will make sure…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 04:52 PM
4

Best.Advice.Ever. Asia / South America… they will be throwing themselves at that 6 pack.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 02:35 AM
1

Yes. Write her off and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:17 AM
1

As in having someone like a close friend or relative to interfere/ mediate. But to tell you the truth and many on this subreddit will agree with me, it’s often way too late to fix things by the time the word divorce had been mentioned. She probably checked out and is preparing for war, you should be too.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:16 AM
6

First, did you try all possible options to get her to change ? (Counseling, intervention ,etc…) If you did and are hopeless, then by all means carry on with the divorce. But first and foremost, prepare for it well. Protect your finances, and make sure you’re in control of them. There is a lot of material online about how to prepare for a divorce. Start by looking there. Divorce is War, especially with a narcissist woman who will fight.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 12:18 PM
1

Things are communal until filing date or until the divorce is finalized ?
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 09:40 PM
1

Can’t she just ask for half of that and what whatever she wants ?
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 06:44 PM
3

I’m in the same boat, except they dug up accounts that have been closed for many years and have nothing in them. I’m still learning how to handle this, but my lawyer told me the burden will be on them to prove there are hidden assets, until it goes to court and take different dimensions.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 06:32 PM
0

I couldn’t put it into trust, I moved it into an S-Corp which gave me enough time to figure things out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 12:17 PM
9

I learned from my first year of marriage that her and I will never become one , and that divorce is a possibility that can happen anytime. I rarely shared my secrets with her, and when I did she used them against me. Fast forward 10 years of marriage, when she started planning the divorce she found out that I have $9 in our savings account, and that I have safeguarded all my finances from her plans. She’s now running with her parents like mad dogs trying to find every $ I have.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/24 02:09 AM
1

Spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:33 PM
5

Most of my friends became dads between the age of 40-45
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:22 AM
1

I got a lawyer from day 1. I’m being delusional about her not being an enemy… but can’t resist that thought for long.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:21 AM
1

I am. She’s just being delusional and hateful. She will not stop until she goes to court and waste our money and… embarrass herself
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:21 AM
1

You’re right on everything you said here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:19 AM
4

Gym / X-box / connect with old friends / get to the hobby you never had time for / it’s okay to travel solo / it’s okay to go to movies alone / watch series (Shogun is epic and Larry David is funny)
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 12:54 AM
2

People working with her and him will eventually know. But listen to me, you should start transitioning into the “I don’t care” mentality. There will be talks and events and surprises and things you will be aware of and so on and so forth, you should restrain yourself from reacting to any of that and focus on the North Star, which is You. You have an average of 80 - (your age) years in this life, don’t let other people define how you will live your remaining time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 04:28 AM
2

Because everything you said indicates she’s in a relationship based on lust, in addition to cheating. These relationship fail. And when this happens it will have its toll on her, a surgeon that must be in control of her emotions. Did the word get out about her infidelity to your network of surgeons and nurses ?
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 11:16 AM
5

Hey, it’s hard. I know. But it happens all the time. One thing you must keep reminding yourself with is that it’s not your fault. It is not your fault that she turned to become the way she is. It’s not your fault. Cheating happens all the time. Strong men and women resist the temptations and prioritize their families. The woman you had made the wrong choice and you must let her go. She should become a person from the past. Grey rock her and move on as quickly as possible. As hard as it is on you…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 06:53 PM
9

Write her off, this woman has no values. You’re better off without her brother. FOCUS ON YOU AND THE KID. That man took your left overs.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:29 AM
1

Yes of course she’s safe. She’s been a good mother, but not a good wife. And I will monitor their everything and see how they are, if she ever changes with them I will step in.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 01:18 AM
1

Damn, why $100k?
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:29 AM
3

Thanks. Yeah I had it in the temporary agreement (and will have it in the final court decision) that she can’t move them out of county even without my consent.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:12 AM
1

I like that , thank you. Yes we FaceTime every day almost, except if she’s being a bitch and refuses to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:10 AM
3

Didn’t think of it that way. Makes sense.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:05 AM
1

Thanks. I’m pretty much in a similar boat. Working on making sure time spent with me is as great as it can be, while making sure they’re learning my values.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:04 AM
4

She probably blames you for many things in her life also. Just write her off and keep moving on. When she wants to talk to you she will, nothing you do today will change that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 08:17 PM
10

Nothing is worse than a hateful woman that destroyed her family than a delusional woman who is arrogantly pushing her way back in.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 03:11 AM
2

This is probably the most I resonate with the most in this group. This is 99% what happened to me. My consolation is that I saw it coming and had my assets protected, at least a bit. My other consolation is that I made sure we had a lot of sex, many times a week. That’s the only thing she was able to offer anyway (she didn’t work, no real conversations, couldn’t run real errands… nothing). Your explanation of the situation is correct, and you probably want to conclude your analysis here and deci…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 01:01 PM
8

I’m enjoying every minute of my freedom. Depending on your kids custody/age situation you should take advantage of being free and do what makes YOU happy and fulfilled. I go to the gym, do saunas, and take my time when packing up and leaving. More attention to my business. I started seeing a therapist to help me get better at things I know I wasn’t great at (not things my stbx accused me of, because she was a lying hypocrite and her accusations really meant nothing to me). Remember we live an av…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 05:35 AM
2

1- It doesn’t hurt like having a chronic sickness or a losing a limb. There are way more worse things in life than being heart broken. 2- but I know it hurts, believe me… it will get better and you rationalize it 3- she checked out many months before, you will realize this soon 4- protect your finances, ASAP 5- read though the subreddit , you will learn a lot. 6- don’t be disappointed if she doesn’t want to reconcile. If she really moves into divorce, then you’re dealing with a different woman n…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 02:57 AM
1

Sorry for the this shit of a wife you were given. Good news is that life will go on and it’s in your hand to come out of this better and stronger. It’s all in your hands. In your control.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 03:50 AM
-1

Yes, sometimes charity sex can help
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:55 AM
2

How did it come about ? And why do you assume it will continue to happen ?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:51 AM
1

Texas is big. You can limit it to the county you’re in. Unless you’re okay with the kids be 500 miles away from you…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:49 AM
1

Maybe OP means Thursday through Monday of every week (?) You seem to be handling it well man. Good luck. Just make sure to limit the children residence to the same county you’re in.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:25 AM
7

Not that it matters or you should be thinking about that; but I’m very curious what mistakes did you do ?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 07:12 PM
1

Do you know if she still has similar feelings to you or not ? If you are not sure, try to find answers to that as soon as possible. Don’t be a loser in how you seek the answer to this question person, don’t!! You know her enough by now that you should be able to get that question answered. If you truly believe she checked out and she doesn’t love you anymore, then read the advice from the gentlemen above and move on. If you find out she still has feelings for you (and there’s no one else in her …
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 04:55 AM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 02:20 AM
3

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 01:38 AM
1

Divorce him too. Fuck it
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:46 AM
1

Why 3 years ?!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:46 AM
1

It’s based on your annual income , so yes you can force a change later if your income goes down. Also some states have a maximum amount per month. In TX it’s $5k or 20% of monthly income (whatever is less). It’s never open ended. Also your lawyer can be a POS who wants to drag your divorce and make money of you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:44 AM
2

1- Buy “take the dog, survive the divorce” 2- Protect your money and assets before she files (or you file) 3- Prepare yourself for war. Be kind to yourself. And if you protect your assets, be kind to her too. She’s not the first nor the last cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:35 AM
3

I’m in exactly the same boat of dealing with a delusional woman and was wondering the same thing. I don’t know the answer tbh. In my arguments with her I dissect her words and bring references she cannot deny, but still the bitch lies, denies, and goes off tangent. So what I now do at times when we end up discussing our situation over the recorded line of OFW (we separated a month ago) is that I started countering her lies with made up stories that drive her crazy. We can both play this game.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:27 AM
6

How dare you ?!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:17 AM
3

Nothing will ever change my mind that Eve ate that apple just to fuck Adam up.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:16 AM
5

When I was at my lowest I thought of those who get into car accident and are handicapped for life, or those who lose eye sight, or those with severe cancer and are on their dying beds when their children are still babies. Etc etc There is so many things that are worse than divorce. We feel your pain and have been through it. Start learning how to forget her , keep focusing on you and your children. Go to Italy. Enjoy your solitude, I love being alone and taking care of myself and my children whe…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 05:10 AM
4

So I take it that mediation failed and you went to court ?
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 07:51 PM
3

Is she redeemable without you sacrificing your dignity for her ? If yes, then show her the path to get things better, for the sake of the kids. If she’s not , and only you can know, then write her off and focus on you and kids
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:41 AM
5

Can you offer her to sign a postnup in exchange to keep the marriage going ?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 10:02 PM
13

Yep. She looked cruel, not feminine, her nostrils were widened, and she had this cold evil eyes. What turned me off the most is her shouting. She became vulgar. Her shouting made me realize she’s in a dark place and I don’t want her around me anymore. My STBX always gaslightened me as well. Never admitted her mistakes, turned and twisted her stories, and whataboutisim was her way for every discussion I tried to initiate. Look, at one point you use realize that she is not redeemable and has to go…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 07:20 AM
1

It’s not because of you that she went with someone else. It happens to everyone, men and women. Just write her off and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 06:41 AM
1

Interesting. What’s a collaborative divorce ? Knowing that I’m going through a nasty one and her and her family are only after taking me to the cleaners.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 10:46 PM
1

I would call it a sin if you DON’T engage with other women.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 01:39 PM
1

Of course filed. We both filed. But alimony calculation (at least in my state) is from the date the divorce is finalized. Not when it was filed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 01:37 PM
0

I heard good things about bumble
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 05:48 AM
2

Wouldn’t you pay $80 a month to really increase your chances?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:36 AM
14

You’re 24… in 10 years, when you’re at the average age to marry, you will have forgotten her and her memories. Ctrl+alt+del
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:29 AM
2

Exactly. Who you loved is different than the woman you’re taking about now. That woman died. Write her off and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 09:31 PM
2

One month into this process and I’m realizing how blessed I am that she actually decided to leave. I’m done with her drama, her addiction to the Real Housewives , her selfishness, and her emotional burden. In all honesty, unless the woman was the main provider to the man, a divorce can always be a true bliss. More time for you , more quality time for you with your children (depends on their age and what resources you can have) and less financial/emotional liability. Just write her off your mind …
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 04:22 AM
1

Sounds like she’s a bag of complexes to me. Get rid of her and your future self will be happier.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 11:13 PM
6

Not sure why you’re being downvoted, I’m 100% with you on this. Write her off, and if you can find another mother for your child do it. Selfish bitches deserve to bear responsibility of their actions.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 10:33 PM
5

Light switch effect. She told me she never loved me and was faking it too. I told her I never loved her either, and if she didn’t harass my ass to marry her I wouldn’t have ended with garbage like her and her family. It was a good conversation 😀
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 10:16 PM
11

I noticed this from the get go and I was also mind blown by the phenomenon. I am now 1 month into the nasty filing she put and the nastiness she’s been showing and I accepted this phenomenon as a given. She’s a different person than the one I once knew. That’s it. To counter her light switch effect I’m creating in my mind a counter mechanism. I’m calling it the “write her off” mechanism where I view the good times I had with her as fake and unauthentic. They were not real. And having her out of …
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:29 PM
2

Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:12 PM
2

Thanks, if the case ends up going to court I’m thinking of switching to an in county attorney. Any harm in doing so ? (For example, new attorney unfamiliar with the case affecting their performance etc.)
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:12 PM
2

It’s child abuse not to allow them to see their father. Destroy that bitch, hate her as much as she hates you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:32 AM
1

Could be crazy x wife trying to find out if it’s me here somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:26 AM
1

Few years into my 10 year marriage I learned that my STBX wife was a copy of her mother and her grandmother in how they perceive/d their husbands. They viewed them as burden that takes away from their happiness. When I started seeing how miserable her father is (poor guy had no say in anything meaningful) , I realized this woman is not someone I want to age with. Fast forward, her father (the miserable guy) os her biggest supporter now in our divorce. I hate him a lot now, but part of my is very…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 02:39 AM
4

Don’t let the anger/elation/sadness define your life moving forward. Use this experience to propel you forward, way forward, to the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 10:51 PM
7

The person you thought you knew is dead. Get over it. Quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:35 AM
1

Reading through this thread, the common denominator is that women change and transform into completely new personalities. Happened to me too. It feels like she is under a spell or something. A whole new person, a shadow of the person I loved. And I don’t know if this is intentional or not, but i feel like she is empowered by this “light switch” effect. I think that she thinks that she feels stronger. So I’m doing the same. Blacking out her old memories and replacing them with ugly ones just like…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:31 AM
1

Love it Knowing my bitch soon to be ex she will paint me in the worst picture in front of the judge. Let’s see how objective that judge will be..
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 03:30 AM
6

Thanks. I’m getting very prepared for this :) Learned early on that lawyers will not have my interest as much as I do
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 02:11 AM
1

Thanks. Makes sense
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 02:10 AM
1

Interesting… She’s been accusing me of all this, no proof, but will probably go that route because she has nothing to lose… And this is mainly on attorneys ? Or court fees ? Or what ?
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:58 AM
1

I don’t understand how if she makes 3X what you make and you had the kids 50-50, you still have to pay child support. Anyway, don’t give up, and yes get a consultation with another lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:41 AM
1

Thank you, I appreciate this perspective. How much would you estimate going to court would cost ?
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:24 AM
1

I work from home and the kids school are across the street, so I will be seeing them very often over and above the standard possession. She hates that. She hated the fact that she was a stay at home mom (although I tried to support her to find a job for 10 years!) and views that 50-50 is her way to "burden" me and limit my chances to move on and find another woman to be with. I love my children, i wont go anywhere, and as soon as the dust settles i will have start the fight for more custody. Wha…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:15 PM
2

Hah - sorry this happened. But yes, overall I’m realizing in that unless they’re getting paid really well they’re pretty much like real estate agents who just want to get it over with.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:08 PM
1

The standing order in Texas is not to delete social media things… whatever… It’s really not understanding her psyche is what keeps me wondering. But then again, she’s in light switch mode and I don’t know who she is anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 05:06 PM
1

On average you will live another 80 years minus your current age. How do you want to spend those? Put a plan and focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:42 PM
1

We’re in the temporary agreement phase until the divorce is finalized (through mediation or court , will see). They asked for 2 x more than what the statute gives them based on my income (25% for two kids in Texas) and they asked for spousal maintenance (because she doesn’t work). They called this Global support. My attorney was telling me to take it although it’s 2X more than what the law says if we split this “Global Support” to child support + Spousal Maintenance. Makes sense ?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 04:52 AM
1

Maybe I should’ve, but I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready for 50-50. I will probably regret this later. But for now I need time to process all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 04:46 AM
2

A 1,000 vote
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 01:56 AM
8

6 years or 16 years it doesn’t matter. She’s sick and evil and it’s not your fault. The ONLY way to get back at her is to become the best version of yourself. Find another woman, don’t force yourself to fall in love but if you do good for you. You still have an average or 80 - (your age) in the world, make the best of it. Don’t let her feed off your misery to power herself (because that’s what evil people do)
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:38 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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