Why are you angry ?

Two_ents · 2024-11-20T07:09:47+00:00

I’ve shared my reasons here before, so there’s nothing new in that regard, but tonight I just need a space to vent.

Because of the kids and the divorce, we still have to interact. Lately, though, I’ve felt almost no desire to hear a single word from her. Still, I have to engage—it’s part of the situation.

Recently, I’ve started noticing some of her old habits, certain phrases and behaviors she used to use. They’ve been sticking in my mind more than usual, and as I piece things together, I can’t help but wonder just how long all of this has been going on. These little “clicks” in my head have been making me replay things in a new light, and honestly, it’s infuriating.

What really stings is knowing her AP is living in the house now. There’s no need for her to hide or be secretive anymore, but she still uses those same phrases, still acts in those familiar ways. It’s like a constant reminder of everything, and it leaves me reeling.

I’ve been feeling a lot of anger, which, strangely enough, helps me in small doses—it’s like my mind’s way of defending itself. But at the same time, I don’t want that anger to define me or how I move forward. I refuse to let it shape the kind of parent I am. The last thing I want is to be the “angry co-parent” my kids grow up with.

This whole situation is a mess, and sorting through it is harder than I imagined. But I’m trying, if only for them. So if one day I'll be happier and richer, I'm ready...

slow-motion-pearls · 2024-11-20T06:33:57+00:00

In 10 years when the CS obligation ends, and if the job market isn’t garbage and I’m still passionate in this line of work then yeah, i’ll be okay.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-11-20T06:19:47+00:00

Because she switched her life into easy mode while mine got extra hard. She did not even plan it like this, family law just did it for her - as reward for cheating and ripping apart our family and steal the father from our children.

Might be that I am richer in 10 years. But not nearly as rich as we would have been as a family.

ABBucsfan · 2024-11-20T05:50:54+00:00

She used me for the status, provision, and most notably as a sperm donor then basically admitted I was always a project that didn't pan out. I believe marriage is a one time thing so she basically wasted my shot at it. Also wasted my prime years, resources, sanity, and would have rather had kids with someone who actually genuinely loved me. Mostly mad at myself though for not seeing who she was

lamentforanation · 2024-11-20T05:12:52+00:00

You can’t stop a bird from shitting on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest there. I think feeling anger bubble up is natural and normal. In fact, it is an important part of the grieving process. The key is to acknowledge it, feel it, take steps to work through it, and work on not being controlled by an intrusive emotion. Do that long enough and indifference will meet a lot of that anger and let the air out of it.

Beauty2218 · 2024-11-20T05:08:35+00:00

Not in my case!!!

Confident-Crawdad · 2024-11-20T04:53:12+00:00

Being disrespected and stabbed in the back just isn't a positive experience.

At least not until some years down the road.

tyyyy110 · 2024-11-20T04:52:20+00:00

I truly can attest to this. But it's hard to see that far down the road when you're going through it😩

Title	Why are you angry ?
Author	Enough_Youth_4564
Upvotes	9
Comments	17
Date	November 20, 2024 4:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gvhlru/why_are_you_angry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-are-you-angry.1536324 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536324

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