Going through my first divorce process I realized that both my and her attorney don’t care about “winning” as much as they care about wrapping it up in a way that I (and her) will adapt to the outcome we “agree on” and move on. Side note that it is very clear to my and her attorney that not much money will come out of this divorce. So there’s no big cow to milk here.

A couple of days after I engaged my attorney (a friend of a friend and was just available with a discount) I felt like I’m working with a real estate agent whose first reaction to everything was “seems like a good offer from her, take it!!”. So I started pushing back and took control of the negotiations, asked him to just limit his advice to whether it’s legal or not and leave it to me to decide if it’s a good deal or not.

This resulted in: She moved out and I was able to keep the house (at least temporarily). My research is showing this can be to my advantage in mediation/ court. I chose the custody schedule: she wanted to do 50-50 knowing that I am all alone with no help and a busy schedule to take care of a 6 and 8 year old. I chose standard pocession until I can have more help. (She has her parents with her to help) I refused to pay the amount of spousal support she asked and brought it down to less than half.

I have a feeling her attorney is also acting like a real-estate agent that wants to just wrap it up and told her it’s a good idea to agree with my counters.

Anyone experienced a similar thing from divorce attorneys ? I also feel that mine and hers talk and can make side deals.