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One_Cartographer_465 Archive

View 2 posts and 260 comments by One_Cartographer_465 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

There you go, Good chance your friend ends up with majority custody. The EX sounds like she only makes decisions based on her libido so she will move in with Chad even at the cost of her children.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 07:26 PM
2

Does your friend's divorce stipulate the EX cannot move outside contiguous counties? If his EX is willing to uproot the kids and her life (she already destroyed the marriage) to move in with AB, I bet she will do it no matter what. If he does not agree she will still cohabitate, This still gets him off the hook for alimony, most likely child support (I would think the kids would stay with your friend)
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 06:26 PM
6

Part of the issue in my marriage/divorce was that my then, wife refused to even talk. She would leave for the entire weekend. When I voiced my concern, she would twist it to I wasn't doing enough (I was putting her through nursing school, she did not work, I took care of the chores and our 4 yr old son because she was NEVER home). She framed her own story and would not listen to a different side; kind of like a woman coming onto a men's forum to tell them how they are mistaken. You are making OP…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 01:12 PM
15

Get a Lawyer and file now. Your STBX just figured out she may have screwed up and wants a re-set to gain ground. You must understand (this is cold) that she is no longer your wife, just someone that will try and bargain with you, guilt you and manipulate you to get herself in a better position. You need to get the upper hand while she is in her tailspin. This is not to "WIN" but to get yourself in a situation that you are in control of your life/situation. If you choose to help her down the road…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 06:53 PM
1

I actually considered that, but refuse to give her that much real-estate in my mind.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:59 PM
1

Man, I was reading this and though I had written it. Almost identical situations.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:57 PM
2

OUCH
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 03:25 PM
4

Same thing here. I was a Principal at the time, took my son to and from school, only parent attend parent/teacher conferences, I did all the cooking, housework. She would go to her family's house for entire weekend (where she was having the affair). When I had surgery on my foot and could not walk she (the nursing student) Brought me home from the hospital on Thursday, immediately packed her bag and told me., "I know how you don't like to ask for help, so I am going to my brother's for the weeke…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 03:22 PM
25

She is/was a nurse. It is cliche' I put her through nursing school, and tutored her because she struggled. THE SAME MONTH she finally passed the INCLEX I came home to an empty house, she had taken my son and left. I later found out that nurses and teachers have the highest infidelity rates as a profession.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 12:44 PM
7

I am going to speak to the "mind set". Set aside that courts are skewed in favor of women for a moment, YOU HAVE AS MANY RIGHTS AS YOUR STBXW. She may want, that doesn't mean she out right gets it. You are all three established there. Her moving your baby away is a change in established domicile. You need to fight for your rights, do not assume she has the upper hand, or can take your child away from you with no consideration. Good luck and fight for your and your child.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 06:37 PM
2

I don't have advice how to make her stop, but you may look at it this way; Sometimes we are best known by our enemies. From what you describe, i bet EVERYONE know why you both are divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 06:53 PM
6

I have several degrees and the industry I am in requires not only a Bachelor but has a standard that must be met on your transcripts (minimum GPA requirement and certain courses must be taken). I am constantly evaluating transcripts and 2 things stand out; 1) only about 5% of the people use the degree they earned and 2) over the last 5 to 7 years the requirement to graduate bar has plummeted to the point half the people do not meet standard because they were able to graduate with no math or scie…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 03:20 PM
1

My read on your situation is, she got her trip, now on the the next victim. She sees her time and effort as an investment and in her judgement she reached the maximum return on investment at the trip.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 07:57 PM
5

It is not an ;easy thing to do but it is simple. You need to realize, SHE IS NOT THE PERSON YOU MARRIED. She may look the same with the same mannerisms, but she ended it. You must see her as someone else. The person you loved does not exist, this is a person you actually never knew.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 07:52 PM
6

Keep this in mind. She and the guy in bed next to her might have been having a laugh at your expense for trying so hard. BUT ONE DAY THAT WILL BE HIM getting laughed at. The difference is you had no reason to suspect this, he has fair warning because he participated and will one day be her target.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 07:43 PM
3

Well, I asked her to marry me. I own that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 06:01 PM
1

Similar story here. I got sole custody of my son because I brought PROOF that I was the majority custodian to my son during the marriage. Judges do not care about each other's stories, they only care about what is best for the child (I chocked a little on those words because I know the system favors the woman). Even though the system favors women It can be done.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:53 PM
1

If a woman feels financially abused, why doesn't she get a job? And why is financial abuse a thing, but the emotional abuse they put us through is not?
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 01:23 PM
1

This, I dive in Cozumel a lot. Piece of advice if vacationing solo, do something like diving or a hobby that you can schedule things to keep you busy and or meet people easily. Going alone is great, you can do whatever you want without "going to committee for a vote", but sitting alone can get old.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 06:05 PM
3

This guy is right. I got a female lawyer that had had a stroke so she did not have full use of a leg and an arm. This made her a mean bit*h, but she was my mean Bit*h. When she lit into my EX there was no way she (my lawyer) looked like the aggressor. One piece of advice, take control of your own divorce. Take your lawyers advice, do what she says, but don't follow blindly or expect her to take personal interest in your divorce (she has other clients). When my EX's lawyer sent letters insinuatin…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 04:17 PM
4

OK-Turnover, I have been where you are. I understand what you are dealing with and much of it is psychological due to the lack of the physical. I will try to bullet point what I learned after my divorce. + Her telling you her love is a more spiritual love than your ego based love is total BS. If she had that lofty spiritual level love, she would submit to your need for physical contact (her submitting to you would be Agape love, the highest form of love. +Her describing your love/needs as "lower…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 02:11 PM
2

This is the correct answer. If you give her an explanation, you give her something to argue.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:59 PM
1

Sorry to hear you are going through this, BUT i think you are putting too much of the blame on yourself. She may have stated that she was not happy and felt alone. It is not your sole responsibility to be her happiness. You should be there for her, but she can take action to make herself happy. Something doesn't add up. She felt alone and unhappy but now she says she wants to be alone??? This may seem hard right now, but Once you accept that she checked out of the relationship the sooner you can…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 01:34 PM
10

You mean as opposed to being intimate with a partner only to find she had been using you and putting you down to her friends? Using the secrets you shared with her against you?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 01:00 PM
1

Getting the lawyer is the right move. If she makes 3Xs what you make, she very well may be paying you alimony or some type of support, once this goes to the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 07:53 PM
3

Congratulations, keep up the good fight. I has a similar experience here in TX. My EX and I had full court case for custody of my son. Like you My then wife was lying and fabrication stories about what a monster I was. Even though is pissed me off, I stuck to just the facts, cold and emotionless. Well toward the end (3 hours into the hearing) my wife's lawyer made an accusation that I had little to do with my son, because I had not seen him in 2 weeks. The judge keyed in on that statement and st…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:31 PM
3

Blackbeard I get what you are saying but I need to correct a couple of things. Mine was posting this shit during our separation (initiated by me after her affair). Here are some quotes: SHE initiated the separation by having the affair "A partner who truly loves you will guard your heart and protect it from others" - This is the wrong quote, it should say, "A partner who truly loves you will guard HER VAGINA and protect it from others". There it is fixed.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 08:35 PM
1

What he said. Remember, women think with their emotions and see their world through their emotions. Her BS in some form probably makes sense to her. That doesn't mean there is an ounce of logic.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:26 PM
3

This, Hotantipasta is correct.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:19 PM
2

You are right, you are the author of your own life... healthy attitude. I do have a question about, why is it that the Guy leaves the house then there is conflict? Is it chivalry or that it seem to be expected that the guy leaves? I just saw digcycle beat me to the question.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 02:14 PM
1

You have every right your STBX has with the kids, however, you really should get a lawyer to protect your rights. If she calls the police when you are leaving with the kids, they could make you leave without the kids, then she fells with the kids. A lawyer can tell you how to avoid such things and even have papers filed to allow this to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:44 PM
2

This is spot on. I got custody on my son at our divorce trial. I had to keep reminding myself the court is not interested in the drama, they hear it all day everyday. While she was pointing out all my character flaws I was explaining (and had witnesses testifying) that I was the only parent going to parent conferences, taking him to the Dr. and baseball practice while mom is at her brother's drinking (EVERY WEEKEND). In the end the judge only cared about what was best for our son. I realize the …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:31 PM
3

You are not wishing for anything the women doesn't ask for, only they see it as a demand, not "pie in the sky"
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 06:57 PM
2

I did that once. I thought a fat girl would surly know how to cook.... Boy was I wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:03 PM
3

REMEMBER, you are trusting a woman to keep her verbal agreement about when she will allow you to have the kids who just backed out on the 50/50 agreement ???? You had better get it in writing (in the divorce)! You can pay for the lawyer now to get 50/50 or paylater for a lawyer to get her to do what she verbally agreed. She changed her mind after talking to her lawyer, the should raise some HUGE red flags.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 09:43 PM
1

My problem is not my standard to date, it is that when we get serious their looks fall. My (1st) EX was a solid 7 when I asked her to marry me, was a cheerleader and in homecoming court and athletic. right after we got married she became less than a 4, gained weight, started drinking and smoking, would not take care of herself. I don't mean the "normal" kind of loosing Sexual Marketplace Value from aging and having a child. I mean getting rosacea and not treating it, completely forgot what makeu…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 03:53 PM
1

You are trying to figure out if this is normal your marriage is not as bad as you perceive it to be. Well flip the roles, if you acted uppity and treated your wife's family and friends the way they treat yours, would they stand for it? Figure that out and you have your answer. Not about it this normal, but about is this right. Also you start treating your wife and her family how they treat you, and you will get your divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 03:31 PM
3

"Kind of just wondering what is going through her head right now" You are looking for reason from an unreasonable creature. In general women don't know what they want, why would a guy know? That is not being misogynistic women admit this all the time. On top of trying to find reason or logic in her wants there is the control issue. She doesn't know what she wants but she wants to be the one that directs whatever it is... That is my dime store phycology but end the end you are never going to figu…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:42 PM
2

Because the way divorce is portrayed on TV or media and/or because women are the fairer sex, people generally think of the man as the reason for the divorce (didn't try hard enough) or should have come to the rescue to save-a-hoe. Also the man is supposed to be the stronger party, therefore people tend to leave the man behind, everyone rallies around the woman.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:42 PM
6

You are about to find out who your true friends are. When she lies about you to the people you know, those that truly know you will see the lies for what they are, those that don't and believe her, you did not need anyway. Best of luck, the process is very hard on you in the beginning BUT even though it doesn't seem like it now, it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:13 PM
7

You need to File NOW. Georgia will be friendlier to the husband than California (law) will be. You want the venue for the divorce to be Georgia. When you file be sure to put in the protective order (or how ever Georgia does the original orders) that she cannot take the children out of state. This is personal experience, my Ex filed first and had a protective order that I could not take our son out of contiguous counties (this is Texas). Her filing first determined the county the divorces was han…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:04 PM
-1

Take heart in this: Men often feel "left for dead" because most people's default is in a divorce, It must be the man's fault. HOWEVER, a woman's identity is tied to who her husband is WAY mor than a man's identity is tied to who his wife, so there is a flipping point that she becomes the person without an identity.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 07:49 PM
8

I obviously don't know your attorney, but, he/she probably isn't doing anything because there is nothing to do. It seems to be an empty threat from your Ex's attorney, just racking up the billables.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 02:12 PM
6

Spared-no-expence explained it well. You are paying for someone else's wrong doing. You must understand the lesson he learned. He may want to give you his heart, but his lesson learned was, anything he gives will be used to hurt/punish him eventually. It is a scary thing to give someone the very thing that can be used as a weapon.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:10 PM
5

You guys have me concerned. I have sat on the toilet with the lid up, but I guess my ass is so big, I didn't fall in. I bet if i was still married I would be informed exactly how big my ass is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:57 PM
6

I've had two experiences with couples therapy. First experience my then wife chose the therapist. In our session the wife went first, took 15 minutes telling all of my short comings, mostly to do with her juvenal delinquent son (the police brought him home or showed up looking for him 5 times in a year. When the therapist asked what I thought about her accusations the wife jumped in telling the therapist my "mental illness" when it comes to her son. The therapist then told me that 1) in a blende…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:50 PM
6

Biz Markie wrote a song called, "(He's) Just a Friend".
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 01:38 PM
19

Perspective here: She put the onus on you to come over and say "Hi". She could have just as easily come to you. Don't feel any guilt for something she could have done by initiating the greeting.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 03:28 PM
4

Pack her shit. You mentioned this is a form of manipulation and you are right. As long as her shit is in your house she can manipulate the situation. If you pack her shit and put it in the garage, even though it is still manipulation, it is the LAST manipulation you will have to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 02:53 PM
4

I think she is the asshole for wanting the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 07:14 PM
3

In the big picture her holding drinking (to the low level you describe) over your head is a tiny thing compared to causing a divorce if you refuse to let her run/ruin your life. I rarely drink (partially religious reason, partially I just don't like the taste) my Ex felt about drinking the same as yours. It wasn't drinking she held over my head it was EVERY THING ELSE. She would make up an accusation based on her feeling, but totally unfounded to keep me on my heels and on the defensive. I know …
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 06:22 PM
15

It may have nothing to do with men's opinion of women (or less than you would think). Men learn that laws concerning marriage and divorce wholly benefit women. The rules bring no benefit to men, but instead put women in the "driver's seat" since she now has the full authority of the judicial system to make the man miserable, put him in jail (believe all women movement), or take 1/2 his stuff. There is no Return on Investment for a man to invest in marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 03:54 PM
5

I had a somewhat similar situation. My now ex wife filed for divorce in may 2022. She convinced me to cancel my meeting with my lawyer to "work on our marriage" then went the next day found a lawyer and filed. I rescheduled with my lawyer the next week and found out my wife had already filed the Friday before. This is in a small town so it turned out my lawyer and the wife's lawyer are close friends, so later I got some behind the scenes gossip. Turns out my wife pissed off her own lawyer (and m…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 06:54 PM
3

I found myself as a knee jerk reaction, trying to fix her problems or fix the marriage by myself. It took me a while to realize she didn't try because she didn't care. I wish I would have noticed this sooner (I had not found this forum at that point). Then I heard/learned the phrase "not my monkey, not my circus". When I realized that I only needed to handle what I can control and don't worry with things I have no control over (her emotional outbursts or her problems) I felt such a huge weight l…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 07:00 PM
1

If she doesn't want you involved in the first festival, you can ask that it be just you and your son (without her) the second time. All things being equal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:51 PM
3

Can not move further than contiguous county. I had this put in mine and was really glad I did. The weird thing is I got custody but since she put it on me, I had it apply to her as well. The unforeseen benefit, it kept her from trying to use the fact I had custody to take further controlling measures. Example, If she limited my introducing to new girlfriend to my son, I would do the same to her. This way she could not have her boyfriend/Affair Partner (that was a family friend) around our son fo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 06:48 PM
2

It is both your marriage. The feeling that you can't do anything right is 1/2 her or more. Don't take full blame, do your part and see who is pulling their load and who is not.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 01:15 PM
6

She is saying she ALREADY found someone better. Good news, that usually comes back around to bite her in the ass.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 01:06 PM
5

Short answer. His wife cheated after 11 years, that effects a man. You dated for 11 months, probably he felt it was time to "fish or cut bait" with your relationship so he panicked and cut out. This doesn't answer your question about figuring what to do, but understand why he left "out of the blue". He got cold feet.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 02:41 PM
8

My advice (just someone on the internet, but I have been in your situation); YOU MUST TAKE CONTROLL OF YOUR OWN LIFE. From what you have shared, your wife is making the decisions for you and your child when is comes to the marriage. Never let a depressed women make decisions for you. Yes, you will have to initiate the divorce, this way she can blame you for the failed marriage, but you will be taking control of your own destiny, not allowing her to plot your course.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 01:48 PM
0

I did it once. It fit the cliché both ganged up on me. The (then) wife talked for 20 about how I had a mental illness, that I took joy when the police brought her 15 year old home in trouble. I felt no joy, I was the one that had to deal with the police and/or parents her son had bullied. I got a call from his teacher about some pretty sick pictures he drew on his homework and turned in. the wife responded by taking me off the emergency contact list. The counselor started to tell me how the step…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 02:20 PM
1

GNBTCH
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 06:11 PM
2

If she tries to make it too hard on you, your parents can sue her for grandparents rights that would give them visitation rights.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 12:49 PM
7

It is just passive aggressive. Ask her why you don't find any folded page corners or marks/notes in the books from when she read them. Doesn't she think she might need the help/self improvement?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 06:30 PM
6

Almost every time a woman tells the husband she wants a divorce, she had decided to leave long before. She has been thinking of this for sometime now, so trying to change her mind is futile. I am surprised she is giving you 6 months notice. She needs the time to see if things work out with her new man, get things in order to screw you over, fine the best time to take the children and leave or all of the above. She made up her mind, you need to fight/protect yourself knowing that. Document EVERYT…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 01:22 PM
2

What motivated me to continue the divorce? EVERY TIME SHE OPENED HER MOUTH, or pointed her bony finger at me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 01:37 PM
3

My EX filed emptied our house, emptied checking account and took our son and hid him from me for almost two months until we got to court for the initial hearing. I got custody of my son in part due to her hiding him from me. There is more to shy I got custody, but when her lawyer asked me on the stand "isn't it true the you have had no contact with your son for the last few weeks?" I testified, then proved through school records that she took him and hid him the last several weeks (I was a Princ…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 03:39 PM
2

The cold Sterile view (how a judge should look at it); SHE left, SHE moved out, SHE changed the circumstances. Why should your child be uprooted from his home, school, friends and schedule because it is inconvenient for his mother. This is all about your son, it has nothing to do with her or you. It is about what is best for your son.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 03:24 PM
1

The vows are for better or worse. There is NEVER an excuse for cheating, many spouses stick with their partner through the addiction and sobriety. OP, my brother is an English teacher (holds an English degree). His method of self reflection is through writing, my self reflection is through study (Math and Science) and mundane physical activity. We all have our way of personal self reflection, DO NOT allow your ex to use your self reflection against you. Women will take what is personal to you an…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 01:23 PM
4

JohnnyD gave a very detailed on the nose answer. The Placenta is an amazing viral filter. With foreknowledge of an infected mother passing the infection to the baby can be prevented (We learned a lot about this with Harpies infected pregnant mothers). To OP, Although HIV can lye dormant up to 2 years (or 10 years depending or what research you read) the chances of her not knowing she was infected for 10+ years is extremely low. Just looking at the situation from a statical point of view, (a cold…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 02:20 PM
1

Texas was its own country, AND WE ARE PROUD OF THAT, thus the "Texas state of mind" and welcome.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 01:53 PM
1

LOL I went the opposite way. Traded my Vette (my toy) for a (new toy) Rubicon. It has been great fun going off road. Feels like I went from one kind of go-cart to a different kind of go-cart.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:29 PM
7

I think in large part is the culture but also due to the laws. Current laws incentivize women to leave the marriage. Your wife said her happiness comes first, therefore, when she feels she could be happier without you, but with 1/2 your stuff, she leaves. Change the rules so that a woman no longer gets lifetime welfare from a husband by leaving the marriage, you will see women staying in the marriage longer or until the end.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 04:25 PM
3

I don't have advice to help make her stop the evil behavior, but I can help you understand what you are dealing with. 1) understand this is as much of a spiritual battle as worldly one. You cannot control that part. 2) as a hunter (fighter in this case) you must understand the animal you are hunting or protecting yourself from. Women DO NOT think like men. They are not logical thinkers, even when they make an effort to be. They are emotional thinkers. When she sees your marriage as only bad, has…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 01:25 PM
1

Dude, trust me she is gong to play dirty. The only question will it be on her time line/terms or yours. Trust me, don't hold back because you think she will play nice. Women make decisions according to feelings, and one day she won't feel amiable even if you are a prince to her. Your first sentence said it "She wants a divorce", was there logic in that decision? Don't expect her to behave logically.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 08:23 PM
1

This is a good explanation. I wish there was some, measurable, way to mark your psyche the, day she informs you she wants a divorce, as a baseline to measure all other days to come. This would show progress even when your feelings don't agree. This would be along the line of the law of diminishing returns.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 07:52 PM
8

Don't worry about it. You now have the opportunity to find out who your real friends are.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 03:02 PM
9

Being alone sucks for men. I know my Ex wife is never lonely because of all the endless personalities talking to her in her head.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 03:00 PM
7

I heard about an amicable divorce once in a class on mythology. Seriously, you can try to be amicable during the divorce. The level of success is determined by how long it stayed amicable, not if it ended that way. If you get more than 1/2 way before the first shot is fired, consider it a success. You can play nice, BUT protect yourself, start your own personal bank account for when she empties the joint account, trust but verify everything she tells you. You can play nice and when you are lulle…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 01:44 PM
10

I like how you phrased you," killed the man she molded you into". Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:13 PM
3

That is exactly what I did. I Got a pup right after the divorce, when he was old enough to travel (ride a couple of hours and not pee) we headed to the Texas Gulf. There a lot of dog friendly towns along the coast. We had a blast. I highly recommend it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 01:19 PM
12

She is telling you this to convince HERSELF, not you. Trying to justify her confusion and bad judgement. Maybe even trying to convince herself that she loves her new man by convincing herself she doesn't love you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:41 PM
10

The fact she told your family, and the way she did it, should show everyone WHY the divorce is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:10 PM
2

I had to buy an app to make this work, but there is a song called "I've No More Fucks to Give" By Thomas Benjamin Wild. That is the EX's ring tone. Fortunately I have not heard that ring tone in almost a year.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:05 PM
2

I think it depends on the County and the Judge. I had a female judge in Tarrant County. I got full custody on our son, she got visitation. At one point the Judge made the stand up while she (judge) ripped her a new one. So in my opinion, it is hard to tell what the judge will be like toward you, until the trial starts.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:40 PM
3

Funny vent, I got a dog right after my divorce (first inside dog I have ever had). My brother says, if you want to see true loyalty put your dog and your wife in a crate for an hour. When you let them our, notice which one is happy to see you. BTW, I do not advocate putting your wife in a crate.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:01 PM
5

My Ex did the same thing, kept my last name because in my little world my family name has a little clout. Her and my lawyer(s) (they happen to be best friends) could not figure out why she would do everything in her power to make my life hell, hated my guts, and we were only married for 7 months. No kids. When picking up final paperwork my lawyer asked about her keeping my last name, when I explained that my mother was a pioneer in my industry and my EX works in the same industry. She called EX'…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 01:15 PM
10

Not exactly the same, but my (latest) EX, after only being married 7 months, thought she was going to get 1/2 of my inheritance. When we got married I owned house, cars property out right. My family own a couple of businesses (brother and I run), land other assets. After just under 6 months of marriage hell, my wife filed for divorce. She kept at her lawyer to go after my inheritance. Several problems here: 1) although Texas is a community property state, inheritances are not part of community p…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 01:01 PM
1

That makes sense. In TX you try to serve the other party for a reasonable amount of time (a week), then post a notice in the local paper (in the county the divorce is/will be filed) and then it goes forward without the other person.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 01:30 PM
2

Just last week a bartender friend (female) gave me the best explanation to this that I have heard. Context*I am coming up on 55, but in really good shape for 54, full head of hair that is still brown (good genes). I do well for myself (I run a family business). I made a comment that I seem to have to work harder to pick up a lesser class of woman than when I was 30, Hard getting old. She (bartender) told me that, that is not the problem, but older men intimidate women in their 30s and 40s. They …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 08:56 PM
6

No specific advice other than document everything like you seem to be doing. LET her keep doing this, don't get mad, you need to hope she gets in good with this new guy. She will be more willing to give in on custody it your son would interfere with her partying. Also if she had this new guy, he will speed her on to the self destruction faster. She may really screw up before the finalization, giving you the death blow you need to get custody. I know it is easy to say "don't get mad about her par…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 08:08 PM
3

Basically, if you want to help the process along, you can have your attorney contact STBXW's attorney to receive the notice on your behalf. If you don't have a lawyer, you can send an email to her lawyer's office making yourself available to be served. If you don't want to help the process along, just don't do anything. They are obligated to serve you, you on the other hand are not obligated to do a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 07:54 PM
10

Think of it in this "frame"; either he lied to her about what he does for a living, because he is embarrassed about it, or she is in denial about what he does for a living because SHE is embarrassed. Either way, you are the one they are trying to prove something to.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:38 PM
4

Valentine's Day??? I thought it was Ash Wednesday.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 02:48 PM
2

Go! Take up a hobby, something that will keep you occupied and out. My best trips were solo, I scuba dive so I book enough dives to keep me busy. More importantly a group of divers always "adopts me" when they find out I an solo (they are a group so a mix of married and solo people). It never disappoints. Oh and apparently I am quiet fun to be around when I don't have a wife in tow.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 08:02 PM
7

DO NOT SIGN THIS. I've had 4 divorces in Texas. Trust me, this agreement gives her everything. Others have given you good advise, let me arm you with information. 1) when she says "trust me" she is now the enemy, she is lying to disarm you. 2) She will tell you the "reasonable attorney's fees, expenses, and costs as requested above." is standard. Although it is normal to put this in, BOTH SIDES PUT IT IN, so it kinda off sets. With only her making the request, you will pay for everything. 3) If …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 02:25 PM
6

To your question: Freedom is great, I can't express how great. Dating post divorce, meh, I feel like, women, I can deal with them if a good one comes along, or I am just as happy if none do because there is that possibility each day to look forward to a good one showing up. Also I make my own decisions. To the amicable divorce comment, trust me start off treating it as if it is NOT. It is easier to start off protecting yourself and relaxing once into the process than it is to try and regain grou…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 07:13 PM
4

Great News, congratulations!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 07:06 PM
1

Life is a bitch, and so is she.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 03:13 PM
1

My last Ex cloned my phone a month after we got married. No good reason why, she just sized the opportunity and did it to have control. I found out about this because some setting changed (I guess an update) and my phone was telling me I was in town when I was at home and mapped a trip to the store. It was all about her having control over me. When I told her I wanted a divorce and had an appointment with a lawyer (on Monday), she got a lawyer that evening and filed the next day (Friday). She la…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:22 PM
1

I would imagine you could, that would technically not change the account. I have almost no social media, not my thing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:55 PM
2

In Texas we are warned not to change any accounts, both financial and social, while the divorce is pending. The thought being you cannot withdraw all the household money and/or delete any evidence in the social media. Once the divorce is finalized, you can do what ever you want.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:39 PM
2

States interpret law differently from one state to another, BUT, in general; a divorce decree is a contract. What is spelled out in the contract can only be altered if there was fraud or deception, so prima facia what she agreed to in the divorce is all she gets. Note Child Support is a variable not a constant. CS is on a % basis not set $ amount, so if your financial status changes CS can change. Oddly enough this only changes to the benefit of the woman.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:33 PM
2

I had a somewhat similar experience. I would say, "Take control of your divorce because it is not your attorney's divorce." My (then) STBXW initiated a phone call to me where she started telling me how sorry I was and what I owed her. I tole her "This is why we are getting divorced, so I don't have to put up with you." and hung up on her. A few days later my lawyer sent me a letter dressing me down and warning me not to call her again or speak to her in that manner (Her lawyer sent my lawyer a l…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:22 PM
5

I don't like, Just the other day a made a comment about a woman's post on here about men having lower standards. When I gave my personal experience as example, she trolled me trying to make me out to be the woman my relationship, after she claimed to be the man in hers. She has no f&^kin idea what she is talking about. Just another example of women invading a mans space.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 12:58 AM
13

The purpose of Gray Rock is to not give her anything to argue with you about. Women are better with language skills then men (it is in the physiology of the brain), therefore if they do something irritating or make a comment, the second you comment she has you. As an example, by responding to this question (I am assuming it is a legitimate question, so I answer) I am giving your, or any others something to reply to or start an argument. If I don't respond no one can go any where with it, and it …
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 03:46 PM
1

I am not sure it the "more womanly role" comment is supposed to be a slight against me, but this is the opposite of 1st EXs claim against me. Be that as it may, I was not asking to be diagnosed, but replying to your comment about husbands lower standards. As for the 4 divorces, I won each of them, so I stayed in a good place.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 02:09 PM
1

Actually not. My first 1st EX even brought this up in the divorce, "My high expectations". This only means that I cooked because my son and I wanted to eat, wives were all slobs, Contrary to what the poster claimed. I was taking umbrage with the claim "Husbands have lower and fewer standards than wives". Not getting personal.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:52 PM
6

I have noticed that many husbands have lower and fewer standards for life than their wives. I'm gonna have to call BS on this statement. I have been married 4 times, I am multitudes cleaner than ANY of my EXs. 3 of the 4 EXs I could not ride in their car because of the trash. Also the cooking and child care - I cooked (out of self defense) and ended up with full custody because I was the sole caretaker during the marriage. I am not the exception either. Also, I would put up a man's locker room a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 07:31 PM
4

Your STBXW is ultimately responsible for her own decisions. (irony - woman responsible for her decisions). Having said that I have delt with a few counselors, as a Principal mostly, and dated a couple (for context I have the same Masters that several of them have - Education and Child development). They are as bent as their patients. Ultimately they are just regular people, but all they hear is other people's problems. That has to wreck a person's moral compass. another thing to note - The divor…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 07:41 PM
22

When you dropped your restraining order, she did not drop hers. She had no thought FOR you, just to make you pay. WHY would you think that personality has changed because she reached out to you? Look at her actions not her words.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:16 PM
2

Unless you are impoverished, time is money, get a lawyer and make the divorce fast. There are horror stories about paying lawyers thousands, but you have control over that.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:49 PM
1

Again, 1/2 the IRS bill is hers. The IRS will find our what she makes. You should understand, this is actually a HUGE weapon you have over her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:45 PM
1

RevolutionaryLaw is right. She is making demands of millions when she owes 1/2 the IRS bill. She needs to be told," you want millions from me, but the Govt may be providing our room and board, or you can work with me so we stay out of jail." I realize you may not be heading to jail, she doesn't understand she is in this shit with you and that is a bigger problem than alimony. Once she understands her freedom is at stake she will know the stress you are under. That is assuming she is somewhat rea…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:39 PM
1

I am in Texas also. I have some years in TX Teacher Retirement so similar but not the same as your retirement. My lawyer (25 years ago) told me that in Texas you have to have been married 10 years before ya'll can get in each other's retirement. This was 25 years ago so laws may have changed. At the worst she is only entitled to 1/2 only for the years you were married. I hope this helps a little.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 10:05 PM
1

Apart from the obvious monkey branching, it is about power. If you recant and don't go through with the divorce, she has all the power.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:51 PM
1

My Ex MIL, Ex Sister and Brother In Laws helped my EX hide her first marriage from me (She had it annulled, so they would say she was never married). Then they helped my EX hide her affaire from me. She would go to their house to conduct the affair while I am at home with our son. So, I didn't see any red flags, as her family seemed very close and normal. I had gone to church with them for several years, my dad was their pastor. I found out about the first marriage after we were married and she …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:28 PM
5

There is a lot of excellent advice her. I would just add that what you are doing is akin to the "Pick me Dance" after a spouse has been caught cheating. You are doing HER dance to convince her to pick you. You need to set boundaries. She has/will not respect you until you have boundaries. If she is going to leave over this, nothing you do will stop that, if she wants to stay married, and no boundaries are set, she will either leave or walk all over you. You cannot control her but you can control…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 03:52 PM
3

The best thing I can tell you is that this happens to everyone to some extent. I bet your GF has caught herself about to say the wrong name. When my (then long term GF) would make me mad in a stressful situation, like start yammering in my ear about missing my turn in terrible traffic, I would snap back with my EXs name out of habit. She pretty much know it was an accident. There was one time she actually told me "I would rather you call me B*#$H instead of her name. If they care about you they …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 03:00 PM
6

It really only matters what your daughters think. If they feel she abandoned them, then she abandoned them. Pure and simple.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 01:57 PM
14

I honestly cannot think of anything I miss. BUT i know her now husband misses; making his own decisions, having any extra money, peace, OH AND HAVING SEX.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:32 PM
3

The benefit is, if you have kids your Lawyer can set the terms of any restraining order or word it in a way that she cannot (easily) make a restraining order (the restraining order in terms of your child). This way she cannot take the kid and run. If there are no kids, then no legal advantage, but there is the emotional one.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:14 PM
1

lol, when I read your "If you don't, pay cash" statement, I went an entirely different direction. Rent a hoe. Thanks for the laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:47 PM
5

Your idea/dream sounds like a seemingly rational way to have a healthy life for you and your kids. YOUR WIFE WILL NEVER ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN. You must understand something going into this, women do not think the same way men think, they are never (or are seldom) rational at all. They want to control and punish. If you suggest divorce she will become the enemy. you want to leave her the house while you live in an RV across the lot, she will file a DV report so you can not live anywhere near her. …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:25 PM
1

My situation was almost identical your what you describe. I was going to School full time (Under grad.) working nights with NO sleep. My parents would watch my son (infant at the time) and she would not come home from work and pick him up, instead go to her family. This caused a lot of stress between me and my family. I would spend every weekend shoeing horses with my dad to catch up on the business he missed due to baby sitting when my wife did not pick our son up. I had to bring my son (a todd…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 05:11 PM
4

MY (1st) EX's family helped her hid the affair, so F#$% them. She told our mutual friends that I was cheating on her, and of course people like to believe the worst, so that told me who my TRUE friends were. I ended up keeping one friend and his wife. When the truth of her affair came out (She started openly dating her AP days after leaving me) I got some apologies and admission that they believed her. I never tried to defend myself, if they knew me they knew I would NEVER have cheated. Also, I …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:06 PM
1

OH yes, I have actually seen this and many others like it. I am NEVER marrying again. Not tempting fate anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:00 PM
5

This. I couldn't agree more.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:34 PM
1

You are exactly right, but there were 4 marriages. My only defense for the bad decision(s), I actually won in the divorces (if there could be a winner). The other three all lasted less than a year. But never again..
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:10 PM
4

She was in nursing school, but EVERY weekend she would leave me with our son. She would spend the entire weekend getting drunk with her family, which is where her AP was also. Her family helped her hide the affair. The drunken weekends and the fact I had our son 24/7 is a huge reason I got custody. His teacher and counselor actually testified on my behalf.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:07 PM
3

I didn't mention budget. That is a sore spot. I paid off her substantial debt that she brought into the marriage on a teacher salary, paid the first two years of nursing school and had to tutor her because she couldn't pass the NCLEX (nursing exam). She left in August because; I made the last payment on HER credit card, she finally got her nursing license and a job and I made Principal so she knew I would have my hands full starting the new school year. Update, I am convinced she lost her nursin…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:02 PM
2

Ironically, no. She accused me, to everyone, of cheating (i had my son with me 24/7). Confessed, to me, that she knew I wasn't cheating and moved in with the AP two weeks after divorce was final (he moved in with her, he didn't have a job). Here is where I know God has a sense of humor. The AP is 10 years younger than me, but lost his hair, got fat and can only get a low wage job. I actually look considerable younger than he and own a successful business. She also got really ugly. The only word …
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:49 PM
4

I had the same experience with the washer and dryer ALWAYS running, and always full. Now I pick one room to clean every other day and all house work done by the weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 09:50 PM
2

Your STBX must be some piece of work if your daughter blew up and gave her a deadline.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:19 PM
4

I had similar, first EX didn't/couldn't cook but I really like to cook. She always accused me of using her as a guinea pig.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:10 PM
1

Short answer, it is the curse of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. "The woman's desire will be after her husband," meaning she wants to rule. And as other's have said free will.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:41 PM
3

Keep documentation! Mine was/is an alcoholic and I am pretty sure does drugs. We had a full on court battle, witnesses, exhibits the works except a jury. At the "trial" I got custody, temporarily but had to see the court counselor for the final decision. The counselor was definitely not on my side, or even neutral until two things came out, 1) We were ordered to take a drug test at a specific testing center (she was a nurse so we made sure to pick a center not associated with her hospital, she f…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:00 PM
0

Being mad at the AP is like being mad at the bum that went through your trash and took the broken electronic gadget covered in garbage that you discarded. He is only getting the worst of her, that you left behind.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:55 PM
2

I've divorced 4 times, won all four (I know nobody wins, but I won). I got full custody of my son (first divorce) she had visitation and paid me child support. The other three were a snap compared to the first. Two female lawyers in total, both were a bigger bitch than any of my Ex's and that is what I wanted. You need a bulldog of a lawyer whether male of female; but to watch a female have your ex on the stand, rip her a new one (Infront of the female judge) and force her to admit she endangere…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:42 PM
2

The best trips I have had were solo. I love to Scuba so I have taken several trips in the Caribbean. There have always been a dive group that would "adopt me" into their group when they found out I was solo. Apparently I am loads of fun when not attached to an anchor. Highly recommend the solo trip.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:31 PM
5

You are not too young, and you will have choices. I am 54, relatively good looking, still pretty fit and have all my hair (still on my head). However I am 5' 9" in a world where women want 6' or taller. I have discovered that I am actually 6'2" when standing on my wallet/bank account. Just be aware what they are after when dating you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:34 PM
9

My first EX did me a favor and got fat AND ugly, I mean repulsive, so no jealousy there. She is an identical twin, she went from cheerleader and on homecoming court to so ugly she made our dog flinch. Her twin, on the other hand is still about a 7/10, so I have a unique situation to see the "what if" she kept herself up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 04:07 PM
4

I won't go into the details, you can find it in my past posts, but, in my divorce I quit feeding her. When she got hungry she agreed to move out and suddenly was interested to get the divorce settled because of the promise of money upon finalization. In hind sight it is comical. Growing up in the country I learned, if you don't want the animals to keep coming back, DONT FEED THEM.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 03:54 PM
6

My first wife walked out of my son's and my life when I had just turned 29 (I had custody). I also had just been made Principal. So I know what you mean by expectation of having it together. I felt like you just described, so TRUST ME when I tell yo this. People of low character like our wives will only destroy those around them. It is 25 years later, she is still married to the simp AP, but they are almost destitute, living off family members. She is/was a nurse (I put her through nursing schoo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 06:51 PM
2

Hilarious, post of the day.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:59 PM
1

I asked my lawyer the same question in my last divorce (in TX also). She advised me to wait until the divorce was finalized. There is no rule expressly saying I have to wait, but it give the other party a reason to make a complaint, drag the divorce out and ask for more money or claim procedural unconscionability. In the end it was worth the three extra months of payments to not have the headache.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 05:20 PM
14

It is hard to wrap one's mind around the complexity of today's society. That said, today's woman is NOT the same as yesterday's women. The woman generally sets the tone of the marriage (happy wife, happy life). They have the power to strengthen or destroy the marriage. Our mothers and grandmothers supported the marriage and made it survive, that is not the case today, for the most part. MGTOW may be an over-correction, but it obviously has its place or some value as it has gained momentum. Helen…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 05:12 PM
2

The new Sherriff built a house across the road from my parents, out in the country, I helped him pull fence posts, being a good neighbor (this is important). Years later while going through a divorce, my STBX refuses to move out or my hours (in the city) so I would have to evict her. Instead I just sold the house and bought the house I grew up in from my parents. While renovating and in the process of buying, my STBX shows up with her luggage and tries to enter the house because she had no where…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:33 PM
5

My last marriage lasted a WHOLE 7 months, the divorce took 5 mo. I live in a small town (TX) so our two lawyers were good friends with each other. My X accused me of cheating (not a shred of evidence, I was always where I was supposed to be). Since my X is truly a B!*$h and the two lawyers and Paralegals were friends I got a lot of the gossip about my X's behavior's to her own lawyer. The conversation about the cheating accusations were," we met both parties and we believe the husband (me) not t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 04:01 PM
4

Not specifically what you asked, but, When you Grey Rock, it works because Her not knowing your "feelings" or what is going on with you, puts her imagination into over drive and will drive her crazy. HOWEVER, be aware it will do the same to you, but not to the same extent. Your imagination will work on you because you also will not know what is going on with her. The good news, this symptom/issue will make her crazier than you, because women are emotional creatures and cannot help but imagen the…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 09:54 PM
2

Great information, I want to add; when she makes an allegation and your attorney, questions the event surrounding the circumstances make sure they ask, "when you became aware of the abuse (or what ever) at what point did you notify authorities, meaning police? I realize she called CPS on you, but that does not require her to put "skin in the game". If she believed this or felt strongly she would have immediately called the police and possibility file a police report. When I was a M/S Principal a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 09:04 PM
1

Depending on the state, since you are made to pay home owners insurances (even if only in part) due to her actions, and she adds other items (her engagement ring) is may be considered theft. You may have grounds to sue for damages once the appeals are handled. It would not be worth the legal fees, but can give you leverage right now. People fight to the end if they believe they have no skin in the game. When she realizes her actions could bite her n the azz she may become more reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 04:53 PM
2

As weird as this sounds, the fact your son is making those statements, at the drop of the hat, may/should play in your favor. These counselors/evaluators have seen children that have been coached before (I am not saying the evaluators always care). When a child makes a statement like that, unprompted, it is a clear indication of coaching on the part of a parent. It is NEVER healthy for a child when they are coached to alienate the other parent. The counselor's job is to figure out which parent i…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 04:09 PM
1

I noticed you said it hurt to see YOUR DOG with the new man, not your ex with the new man. Making progress.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:43 PM
4

My view point, better keep those pics, she will never look that good again. I got her when she was hot.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:39 PM
2

LOL, Greatest response ever.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:43 PM
8

Grey rock is a technique to protect one's self. Sometime we faulter. You must adjust to the circumstances at the moment. It very well could be that that is exactly what your KIDS needed at the moment. Not such a bad stumble.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 02:25 PM
13

You sound like a Gold Digger.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:00 PM
1

It sounds like she is holding you hostage with all the threats what she will do. 1) the divorce never goes completely the way either party imagines it will. 2) from what you told us, no matter what, you will be happier out of the hostage situation. 3) She is trying to instill fear. Remember fear is only False Evidence Appearing Real Good luck and you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:46 PM
2

Not only is this normal, you seem to have a healthy attitude considering the situation. You understand it is "a version of her" you miss, not her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 03:12 PM
9

You both don't even know each other's last name and SHE IS MENTIONING MARRIAGE!!!! Don't just run SPRINT. Lock up your pets, she is a bunny boiler.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 03:09 PM
3

My personal experience can give yo a glimpse to your future. My (first) divorce was 26 years ago. My then wife just got her nursing license (thanks to me), was having an affair that her family supported her in and helped her hide from me. She accused me of having an affair, and being an aggressive, abusive monster. All our friends believed her at the time, people want to believe the worse. During a full blown trial for custody of our 5 year old, her lawyer tried to make me look like an angry ste…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:51 PM
2

Here is how I know I have not forgiven my EXs (any of them). I don't give them a second thought, BUT if I has an opportunity to screw one over, I would jump all over it. The closest opportunity I had was, recently one needed money (i think to keep care from getting repossessed). When she asked my reply was, "What about your Chad?" You know the one you were screwing while accusing me of having an affair to all our friends. BTW when she asked, she was having diner and asked that if I would lend he…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:20 PM
12

Soon after my divorce, I was on a Surviving Infidelity forum. The topic was (for those trying to reconcile), "does she call out the wrong name in the throughs of passion?". I posted that my Ex regularly calls out the wrong name, and it pisses off her boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 09:45 PM
53

My EX (wife at the time) were sitting on the front porch, she looked at me and said that I don't take her on a date or try anymore. (Important to note, she didn't work and I run a family business) I reminded her that yesterday we went to diner and a movie. her- yea but that was spur of the moment and doesn't count as a date. O.K. two days before that we were at your son's birthday party that I paid for and adjusted my schedule to attend, last weekend we went into the city to diner and shopping. …
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 08:52 PM
2

This is a hard truth, but when I accepted it my world was easier to maneuver. The truth is that even women in my generation (I'm 54) do not know how to love the way our mothers loved our fathers or the Bible tells us to love. Once I realized that no women would have an unconditional love, I was happier in life, in that, my expectations were not shattered. It is like dealing with a business partner, know your opponent and steel yourself against the likelihood attack and you will come out the othe…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 03:36 PM
2

Each state has different rules to sue for excessive frivolous law suits, but there is most likely an action you can take to make it worth her while to leave you alone. I see you spoke to your lawyer about this but there are ways to get your costs back and sue for the lawyer fees for the suit to stop frivolous suits. Example not related to divorce, here in Texas the state just made it easier for a school district to counter sue for fees and court costs when parents file frivolous suits. There is …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 03:28 PM
12

You have obviously done a lot of introspection to your own marriage as well as a deep dive to the cause of the walk-away-wife. You make valid fine points. My point of view of the cause is more blunt and simplistic. It is Hypergamy. The husband can indeed put his wife on a pedestal to the best of his ability, but through social media, friends and the things you listed, they believe they can find a "better" pedestal (better man), that they "deserve". So they leave for the life they should have had…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 07:30 PM
52

Translation: I am bored, i want to see what else there is out there for me, but I want to keep my options open with you incase i can't find better. It's called monkey branching. If she is open to reconnecting down the road, what will change in the future, that cannot change now to fix the marriage. She doesn't want to fix, she wants to explore but still have the safety net. Why would she destroy the marriage, split assets and force the sale of the home (in this terrible economy) if there was any…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 06:41 PM
4

Without knowing the particulars of the situation, my first question would be, What quality of men are willing to date your STBX before divorced? What quality woman are you considering that will not date until the divorce is final. The quality of person goes a long way to answering your question.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:29 PM
2

My (Ex) wife set up a counseling session with a husband / wife team of Christian counselors from our church. The short of it is, my Ex did not like the first question the husband asked (she didn't like that he asked the right question) and she jumped on him (verbally) so the wife jumped on my ex. It was a waist of time, but worth the price of admission.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 02:06 PM
39

Yes, she has the right to know. If things were flipped, wouldn't you want to know? Also, she has a right to know her husband is bringing home STIs.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 03:53 PM
1

Congratulations man. Not gonna hijack your thread, but just say 21 years ago My wife left me in the same month she passed the NCLEX and got her nursing license. Due to her being a crappy mother I got full custody and she got visitation. Now 21 years later I can see the SH!* show I dodged. I am convinced she somehow lost her nursing license as she has not worked in almost 10 yrs but is constantly applying with clinics. Her affair partner AKA "knight in shinning armor" has to support her and can b…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 07:17 PM
1

make sure she can not move outside of contiguous counties. Or at least limit distance she could move the kids. Also make sure you have all rights to decisions for school and reports.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 07:16 PM
2

Texas is a "no-fault" divorce state. No the courts don't about infidelity, only abandonment issues. The text messages are irrelevant in that they would have no impact on the status of divorce. Don't give up any texts, but also don't stress over them as they don't matter. His wife could only use them to vent in court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 03:32 PM
2

I would had said this is crazy at one time, but my, now Ex, cloned my phone a month after we got married. She could see every text and email I got. She could see who was calling also. I had nothing to hide, but when I found out I got a lawyer. Turns out she had already filed the Friday before. I found out about the cloned phone at Christmas because she shot her mouth off about texts from the jewelers she saw and accused me of having bought a necklace in November. I reminded her that I gave her a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 02:55 PM
1

Be glad yo are in Texas and have no kids. This should be relatively simple. It will get 1/2 of what you earned. It is rare but not unheard of that spousal support is given, in these cases the court looks at the ABILITY to work, not IF they work. From your information it looks like you are getting out at a good time. Believe me, you will be Soo much happier.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 08:45 PM
1

OP, this is an important point to your frustration. Women's perspective, memory and logic changes with their feelings. They are emotional creatures and hormones/feelings drive their brain. You are logical and seem to use empirical evidence to support your argument/point or belief. You will never understand women, but you can understand they will never use logic, but rather emotions to guide their thinking. Here is proof, when the relationship was new, she felt good and you could do no wrong. Now…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 01:30 PM
3

I totally agree with your sentiment, but also, who cares what your EX (or any of our EXs) thing/remember or re-tell. Simple truth is that the friends and spectators can see from the outside what is really happening. It may take a little time for the to realize, but it happens. Remember they all have wives doing the same thing to them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 01:22 PM
3

I am pretty much a do my own thing and don't really care what others think kind of guy. People rely on me, more than I do on them. Having said that, My Ex's family HELPED to hide her affair, so when we divorced, she told everyone that I was cheating (even though our 5 yr. old son was with me 24/7). I didn't care enough to explain to any of our mutual friends. Soon after the divorce it became obvious that she was cheating (her boyfriend moved in with her within two weeks). Our mutual friends felt…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 01:17 PM
3

More times than not, the woman checked out of the marriage long before the man. This is part of why men get blindsided and start off behind in the divorce proceedings. You're trying to reconcile while she gets a head start on the divorce, AND CALLS ALL THE SHOTS. The marriage is already over in her mind. The one with the least to lose wins the battle.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 04:04 PM
1

I divorced in Texas. Here is what I learned: the 10 year mark is serious, they get 1/2 your retirement The ability to earn is open ended, but there are actually standards that apply. My last EX (divorced in June) quit her teaching job a couple months after we were married. When I mentioned this to my lawyer, i didn't even get the sentence out before my female lawyer started laughing and said no one would consider her unable to earn, that as she has a degree and license in a high need area. Turns…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 02:58 PM
3

Funny/ironic, My third EX (Don't judge) was mad at me because I am not on social media. It was our during third knock down-drag out fight where she said I don't tell people we are married that I realized she meant my facebook status. The only reason I have facebook is that I run my company's facebook page through my personnel facebook that i haven't posted to in 10 + years. I only have 27 friends on it anyway. Turns out she had cloned my phone to "catch me" but since i am not on social media the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 07:38 PM
1

It DOES GET BETTER! You are being hit from all sides emotionally which is what is draining and depressing you. However, these things will get better/go away one by one. Your situation will improve incrementally. My last divorce I was stuck with my STBX in the same house and the most miserable part of the divorce was the stress of going home everyday to see her and deal withe her drama, her taking every opportunity to twist the knife. I suspect that this is a large part of your stress. When I fig…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 05:07 PM
8

My Divorce (the one with a child involved) was 25 years ago, however, I got full custody and she got visitation but no decision making authority. Here is what lead to it: I only focused on why it is best for my son to stay with me. I did not try to tell how evil my STBX is. She on the other hand tried to make me out to be a Steroid monster (I NEVER took steroids, but worked out pretty hard), but never explained how she would be a better parent. My son's teacher actually testified that his mother…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 04:05 PM
5

I am trying to say this as gently as I can. You are acting like you have to accept her scraps that she will parcel out to you. You need to get/be in control of this divorce. things are different from one state to another due to laws, but trying to bide your time only gives HER more to charge you with, more power. You think you will get mor keeping it in mediation, the mediator has neither of your interests at heart, they will take the easiest route. Understand this, IF YOU FIGHT you will get hal…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 06:04 PM
2

My brother says, put your dog and your wife in a trunk, let them out in an hour and see which one is glad to see you. I love the mental image of my EX emerging from that trunk.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 01:38 PM
3

Show him this sub Reddit, if you haven't already. Sometimes just knowing you are not the only one going through this and how others survived is what they need.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 01:03 PM
23

She is telling me if i say anything to them i will be ruining her relationship with them. She already ruined the marriage, now she is going to ruin YOUR relationship with your children. She cheated because she only cared about her self gratification, now she is protecting her own self interest, not the kid's, because she is a narcissist. STOP her cycle. The kids are old enough to understand.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 12:46 PM
8

I had a similar tornado issue with my X, except the house fell on her and some little girl came along and stole her shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 04:09 PM
1

That is a great list to make. I had not heard of this exercise before. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 01:47 PM
2

It is possible, My 1st divorce I got custody and my ex only paid $200 a month. She was a nurse and I was a new principal so we made roughly the same money. To the OP, I had the divorce sprung on me, I was devastated. I realized that I did not understand how much of a drag my Ex had on my life and financial situation. Today I own my own business, I own my house and cars out right, so no debt to speak of and make plenty to vacation and pretty much buy and toys and/or hobbies i like. I cannot but m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 07:26 PM
2

If she wants to claim past expenses and there is no contract/marriage, then those past expenses are considered a gift. this is the same as trying to get your engagement ring back from your ex. It is just a gift.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 06:10 PM
1

Punch a hole in 1 two or three of the condoms, and leave a note "guess which one has a hole".
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 01:29 PM
9

Take Solace in the face that by bringing this issue to your EX's attention, you speeded up the invadable. Women have no respect for white Knights, they use them for their own purposes and discard them. To make it worse White Knights that must be the center of attention piss them off when they keep the women from being the center. She will start noticing how he puts her down to make himself look good, or puts your/her boys down for the same reason. I have had similar experience. You will look lik…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 01:16 PM
1

I put my EX's pictures out AS the Halloween decorations. The last two years I took Scuba Diving trips solo. Scheduled a lot of dives to keep me busy but found out that there is always a group of divers (dive club, or retired vacationers club) that "adopt you" when they find out you are there alone. I got invited to group things and am apparently a really fun guy when not with a wife.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 08:47 PM
5

The one that files usually sets any TROs and decides when all assets remain in place. At the time of filing bank accounts cannot be emptied, debt cannot be created, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:10 PM
3

My belief: Men believe women are like classic cars, but they are not. When I fix up my car I like to be seen driving it around town. When I fix it, what I fix stays fixed. lastly, when I go to the garage each morning to turn it on, it is the same car I parked last night.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:17 PM
2

Men on Strike - Helen Smith. Should be a must read BEFORE marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 06:19 PM
2

This gave me the best laugh of the day. Thanks. Funny cuz it is true.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 07:59 PM
7

What azwildcat said but I would add that one should not give us the "not all women are like that" attitude. I dated a lot of women (married some of them) and THEY ARE ALL LIKE THAT.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 03:55 PM
3

I have a robotic vacuum that vacuums while I am at work, an alarm system that tells me welcome home and a dog that is forever loyal, That more could a man want. As for the physical part, I can date any time I like to get that, but they can go to their own house when it is time. I believe today's concept of marriage is a way around the 13th amendment.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 03:49 PM
21

No, Don't give her the satisfaction. If you confront her you give her the power to again tell you "oh fuck off". If you act like you could give a flying f@#$ she will have to wonder, why doesn't he care?
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 03:41 PM
1

Your Ex found out you were seeing someone and doesn't want anyone else "playing with her toys". Say NO, don't be a tool.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 01:24 PM
10

Sorry you are going through this. Loveless marriages are hard. I can only speak to Texas law, but 10 years is the magic number. After married ten years she is entitled to 1/2 your retirement, pensions and the like. Before ten years she is not entitled "whole cloth" she can fight for them but it is an up hill battle for her. A warning Also, now that she has notified you she doesn't love you any more, she has just given herself license to do as she pleases while you are her work mule. If you think…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 08:59 PM
1

Look at it this way, you left BEFORE the bipolar diagnosis not because of it, therefore, not your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 08:11 PM
1

I had mine made into a nugget on a necklace and gave it to my 2nd Now Ex-wife.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 08:02 PM
2

My EX filed and left the same month she passed the NCLEX. I have seen statistics (about 7 years ago, so not current) that nurses and police had highest divorce rates. High stress jobs, and high testosterones jobs equal high divorce rates.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 07:11 PM
2

With no kids and everything settled, 90 days will be a piece of piss. the wound will have scabbed over by the time your divorce is final. We have to wait 60 days here in TX. What kind of tattoo?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 01:20 PM
0

Paul spoke of being a stumbling block in Romans. Christians like this run more people away from Christ than the other sinners they judge. It is worse to be a stumbling block and stand in the way of someone coming to know Christ.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 07:51 PM
2

I told mine Happy Birthday three times; one time for each of her personalities. She loved it, she hated it and she hated it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 01:44 PM
2

That is weird. What good is it to enforce (or not enforce) a postnup if you call off the divorce. Does she want a re-set?
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 09:14 PM
2

Whether she already has someone or not, that is just entitlement speak. She has learned the system benefits her more if she leaves, so she thinks she holds all the cards.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 09:11 PM
6

This is a Great point. I would add, for those that will someday re-marry, the marriage is also a business deal. Approach it that way and your pending divorce will go better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:52 PM
5

She lied to you through out your marriage, why would you expect her not to lie to you during the divorce. That statement was more for her satisfaction, has nothing to do with her trying to fulfill a promise.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 02:29 PM
13

Well, when I come home everything is right where I left it. I fix what i like for dinner, and there is no one to explain why I am going to a different room (bathroom) or to explain what in am going there for. Also there is no-one's life to ruin or to be reason they are not happy.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 08:11 PM
3

You are thinking logically and that is why you can't figure out her motives. Women rarely think logically or have a plan. You were the work mule in the marriage, why would you expect not to be the work mule in the divorce. One thing I did to make my last EX stop stalling (I have told this before however, it will be more difficult for you with kids involved) BUT, my EX had no job no money, but also no incentive to leave. I simply stopped buying groceries. I grabbed something to eat on my way home…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:57 PM
7

Here is my two cents: Think of it like this, herpes gets better occasionally also, BUT IT IS STILL HERPES. But I digress, I am sure she is a lovely person. You must look at who she is... not who she is today.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:41 PM
1

How about just going to another room/bathroom and not have to explain then justify where you are going.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:31 PM
2

I am in Texas also. I wonder if, using your husband and leaving once you've milked him dry, is one of the nursing courses or if it is an internship. Just think of yourself as one of her rotations.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:13 PM
4

A follow up warning. When I got divorced I was 28yr old, competitive body building, and just became principal (not bragging just showing my station), THE MARRIED WOMEN came out of the wood work for me. DON"T GET CAUGHT IN THE TRAP. It seemed every woman that talked to me had anterior motives. Be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:06 PM
7

WOW this hit close to home. I put my first ex wife through nursing school (while I was a teacher). Not only did I pay her tuition and was sole support for the family so she could go to school full time, I had to tutor her because she could not pass the classes. I then tutored her for the NCLEX for her license. One day in August (I had just become the Principal) my son was not on the bus from the elementary school to my campus. I called his school and the Principal said his mother picked him up, …
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 02:02 PM
2

May sound Cliché but the Bible. Also No More Mr. Nice Guy; An interesting on for perspective on the decline of marriage and who it benefits is Men on Strike - Helen Smith. This will change the way you look at marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:56 PM
19

Marriage is dead. No need to beat a dead WHORSE <-- Se what I did there?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 03:23 PM
4

Not possible. Men ALWAYS pay for sex, one way or another, voluntarily of forcibly through the court.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:35 PM
2

I view the harsh way of messaging this as a "friendly" slap in the face to drive home the message, hey she is going to screw you 10 ways from Sunday in the divorce, has already started, so put on your armor and fight. Know your enemy. she has become your enemy. but that is just me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 04:14 PM
2

I live in TX and got custody of my son. I had the "can't move except to contiguous counties" limit put on me. I was told up front that this is standard in most divorces with young children and don't bother trying to get it changed down the line. In Tarrant County if you go back to court for a change in the divorce, you always go before the same judge that signed the divorce to prevent people continuously taking their EXs to court. The judge is highly unlikely to change his own ruling. the take a…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:26 PM
5

CLandman, sorry you are here, but cheers. 1) I would wait until the divorce was finalized to tell others, just so she doesn't have any leverage to make it worse. 2) having said that, she IS GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE anyway so get ready. She will be the kind understanding, going to make it right woman she wants you to think she is, while behind your back sticking the knife in. 3) the other man's family definitely has a right to know. Don't let her guilt you. The other guy screwed over his family not…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:08 PM
2

Skillet - It's not me it's you My chemical Romance - I don't Love You Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight Outkast - Roses Santana - Winning Nag - Joan Jet
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 12:57 PM
1

My last one had an expiration date upon finalization of the divorce, which if a minimum of 60 days. If there are kids involved (think restraining order limiting your rights to kids), the limiting your rights part only lasts 14 days, but property and financial remain. Just a note of interest, that we don't always get F'ed over, I have a son from first marriage. My wife surprised me by filing for divorce, leaving and filing a Temp. restraining order on me to limit my access/right to my son, took h…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:42 PM
1

I am through arguing. I can google that also, but there is still the face I have in fact, had as you put it a separation of finances, took my third XW to court for violating. The judge even explained in detail how we were ordered in the initial filing, and she could be held in contempt. There is a record of this in Tarrant county. we can talk semantics but my X was threatened with contempt for violating the TO, specifically the separation of finances and getting into my personal account.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:17 PM
1

Funny, I have had four divorces here in Texas four different attorneys, all four TOs addressed split of assets, put a hold on opening credit cards in each others name, what debt must remain in each other's name and two of the divorce documents (initial filing) actually state "date of legal separation". There is in actuality a way to legally separate in TX. One of my EX's even violated the terms of separation and the judge made her pay the debt she incurred in my name.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:31 PM
1

In Texas you get temporary orders instead of legal separation, which can give the same effect as separation. Courts sometimes refer to the date one party files as "legally separated". Two of my divorce documents state an actual date of separation. The filing party usually askes for temporary orders which can be contested or petitioned a change to the TO.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 08:40 PM
4

I am not familiar with divorce laws in California, but I have divorced in Texas and the attitude of the courts are more favorable toward men than in most other states, ESPECIALLY what I hear about California. Texas is a no fault divorce state, community property state. One issue you might have, you must be a resident of Texas for 6 months to file. I am sure people have filed having lived here less than 6 months, but I don't know how that is handled.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 01:25 PM
4

I have a truck, a dog and a Jeep. I am A LOT happier. If you want to see who loves you, put your dog and wife in the trunk. Come back in 30 minutes, let them out and see which one is happy to see you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:31 PM
1

The only thing the judge cares about (should care about) is trying to keep things as "normal" for the child as possible. Your argument is: 1) Although X's BF owns house and I rent, My living situation, job longevity and residence is more stable than hers. 2) Since changing school's inter district the new school feeds into the same (for example) Middle School as child's current school, so she will have the same friends. "normalcy" I used to be a Principal (while going through my 1st divorce) and …
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 07:41 PM
2

I am on the back end of the divorce process. Divorce final about 6 weeks ago. Believe me what you see today as boredom will change to bliss. I know it doesn't seem like but you will appreciate the quiet household and freedom. I also live in a small town. I threw myself into work, found some friends (bought a dog) and am truly blissfully happy. I don't want to minimalize the feeling you are having, but it is a faze that will pass.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 03:23 PM
1

My opinion, let her appeal the Judges decision. She is about to piss off the person officiating her divorce. Remember lawyers jobs actually rely on contacts and personal relationships in their world. An appeal sends the decision back to the lower court. In Tarrant County (TX) if you try to appeal or just go back to court to re litigate for a better decision, it goes back to the same judge. An appeal could come back to bite her in the ...
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 08:29 PM
1

You didn't give details of your life with ex-wife, so I am making assumptions; BUT she probably held you back or at least was an anchor to you in your career. Ask yourself, This issue with your step son, could it be that you are killing it and you ex-wife is trying to sabotage your progress? At a minimum she has handed you one of HER headaches.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 01:28 PM
3

In today's society when someone does not agree with you they call you names, it is as simple as that. Consider the source and live the good life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 06:46 PM
–

I asked the same question of my lawyer. Technically since there is no TRO of court order you can cut her off, BUT is highly advised against since the court may look negatively on this and/or in the TRO it would probably require that all debts/financials remain in place until the court decides or mediation decides. I am sorry but in a divorce both sides are not in control.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:19 PM
2

My first divorce similar situation, I got custody, the house ect.. . If yours is like mine went, your children already suspect she is leafing the whole family (my son was 5 at the time). Your explanation will be more about how the new daily schedule will be without mommy around. Mine was never home much anyway, so the only adjustment is we had to remember to take out the garbage. That is the only chore she did because she didn't want me to know she smoked. Good luck on your re-adjustment.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 03:26 PM
1

I agree. Her problem is you are doing it on YOUR timeline not hers. If you agree to try again, I bet she files on you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 05:00 PM
1

Believe it or not I keep winning them (If you can win a divorce). 1st divorce I got full custody of son. We owned nothing, so nothing to split. Unfortunately I paid off her credit cards before she filed. She left a week after passing the NCLEX/nursing license. 2nd we remained friends even during divorce, we both know we should not have married. 3rd a total nightmare but I owned everything before we were married so she could not get anything, had to leave. and 4th we were only married seven month…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 08:34 PM
2

WE ALL missed the red flags. The only guys that didn't miss the red flags are the ones lucky enough to marry the woman that is true wife material (which no longer exists). it is what we learn from our hindsight that keeps us from making the same mistake. And i say this as someone that just finished my 4th divorce. I just made a whole new batch of mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 01:35 PM
1

Just don't break down till AFTER she walks out the door. Nothing says men cannot have feelings (I believe we feel more than women). Stay composed, even stoic Infront of her. You believe she cares for your wellbeing and would "help her partner". You are now an adversary to her, any emotion is a perceived weakness and will be a point of attack. She needs to know that you are actually better off without her. It may not seem like it now, but you will come to realize you are actually better without h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:18 PM
1

I got a Jeep (Off Road). My son is 30 now, but when he was young it was a good hobby working on it and something we could do together.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:22 PM
5

This gave me a good laugh (not at the crap you are going through). My Ex refused to move out during the divorce (I owned the house before marriage). She even refused to move into the guest bedroom. The solution - I quit buying groceries. She has expensive taste, sushi, salmon, etc. It dawned on me, if you don't feed them they quit coming around. I ate out. When the pantry was bare, she made me shopping lists and kept asking when I was going to the store. Apparently she told her attorney because …
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:19 PM
1

Xmeeperx is exactly right. Judges see spouses quit or get fired before/during the divorce to get more.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:14 AM
3

The simple answers are the best. Make it short so there is nothing she can use to argue. I say, "There is a reason we have lawyers, I will work through our lawyers." In her fishing expedition, don't take the bait!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 08:41 PM
5

My divorce was finalized last Friday (in TX). I was only married 7 months so that played into the decision (I basically won), but my wife quit her job soon after we married, Teacher with a Bachelor degree. When I was explaining the situation to my lawyer, she started laughing and told me before I finished explaining, that the court only cares about the POTENTIAL to earn. That spouses (both sides) quit their job before a divorce, all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 08:13 PM
1

Women's biggest and often only asset is looks/sex. They use it like currency. In my gold digger's case the closer to the divorce we got the more she initiated sex. This kept me on a string until she could jump in and file before me. even after she filed she tried to have sex, it is a control tactic, don't be fooled. ​ BTW: it confuses them when you turn it down.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 03:38 PM
1

I don't know it it changed in 2023 or not, but I have a petition she filed with the court stating that we have a legal separation date Feb. 2nd.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:08 PM
3

We only dated a little over a year, We just knew each other for 12 years through work, church, mutual friends, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:04 PM
5

You are exactly right, but that is a whole other post.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:01 PM
1

Texas does allow legal separation, but convincing the court to post date 7 months is highly unlikely here. Since She filed (beat me to the punch) to "take control of the divorce" (her words) so we were legally separated upon her filing.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 05:58 PM
1

I understand wanting a long term relationship BUT you are young and as an old timer, I would tell you that mindset will get you in a relationship for the wrong reason (predetermined outcome). Take care/improve yourself for your own wellbeing. Date, but not with the ltr goal. If you find the one it will happen organically. Be honest with them up front you aren't looking for ltr, if it happens organically then BONUS. I wouldn't want a woman trying for the LTR with me for the sake of the LTR. Good …
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 05:53 PM
1

Like the vast majority of comments here, life after D is grand. Everything is still where I left it when I come home. My bank account only increases now. There is one "society lady" I go to ballets, plays and into the city with, a country girl I go off roading and to rodeo with and the athletic woman I go to the lake, horseback riding and she helps me work cattle sometimes. So my mood dictates with whom I am spending the weekend. I never imagined life would be this good after loosing your "soulm…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 08:41 PM
1

Simple statistics. (At least in America) Men propose 80% of the time. Women initiate the divorce 80% of the time. Men have nothing to gain and everything to loose in a marriage, women the opposite; everything to gain, nothing to loose in marriage. There is no incentive to stay married when you will get 1/2 or better of everything you husband earned.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 08:16 PM
2

What RuRu said. currently going through similar situation, married for 7 months. I owned everything before marriage, she quit work soon after we married so I was soul support. She only took, never gave. She actually filed before I could "so she could control the divorce" (her words. I gave her 3 months rent to vacate MY house. The only thing your STBX can do is what mine is doing and drag things out by not signing final papers, but then all you need is to set a court date for the judge to declar…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 01:52 PM
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