Single dads, did you consider having an Au Pair ?

Cultural-Tourist-917 · 2025-11-28T02:57:32+00:00

Yes and yes. It was great but my ex wife threw a fit.

Sawadi23 · 2024-08-28T13:32:22+00:00

I am a single dad, 7y/o daughter and yeah difintely i am searching one.

I have almost ZERO time for myself and having someone 24/7 would be a relief.

Starting talking with candidates i realize 90% of them dont really care of you or "cultural exchange" .
30% don't know what to do with their lives. 30% just want a way to be in your country and escape thier family/lives which is understandable Some.say want to come only for summer which can be fine too. 30% sound Psychos. Or weirdos.

Around 15% are really beautiful..hard to have that young bimbo at home 😆

What makes me really nervous is bring home a perfect stranger hoping it will work out.

LMS_THEORY_ · 2024-05-31T22:28:17+00:00

I thought about it as well but I hear the experience can be tricky. They can leave at any moment for any reason, including getting a better deal from another family. Family reviews say they had to keep giving in the the au pair asking for more, more money, more free time, a car and driving lessons, etc. it can add up quickly. Instead I just got a consistent nanny to help on the days I need. Try to keep her working regularly because if you cut back or cancel her she'll start looking for another family. Be upfront with costs and realize you're taking on another bill for the foreseeable future. Heck even ask some of your neighbors kids if they want some extra cash babysitting yours

qtipheadosaurus · 2024-05-31T19:55:27+00:00

How does it work when you only have the kids 50% of the time?

Will the au pair only work when the kids are with you? Or also when they are with the ex?

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-05-31T06:20:36+00:00

Age of children?

99corsair · 2024-05-31T08:20:53+00:00

sounds like a dream situation for an aupair, they get 50% extra free time just for them.

Chris_Chilled · 2024-05-31T19:39:42+00:00

We had a full time Nanny while still together which drove me crazy, super expensive. STBXW didn’t want to let the nanny go even free I was laid off.

Magia-Erebea · 2024-05-31T14:21:26+00:00

Not as a single father but we had one and let me tell you, its a game changer! Once yoi have help its hard to live without them. They are like little angels imo. Just make sure you give them time to do what they need to do and some time off. Thank you’s, small gifts (chocolate, food, extra pay) will keep things smooth.

Bluetoes1 · 2024-05-31T13:11:56+00:00

If you can afford it, go for it. Any help is help.

crager34 · 2024-05-31T14:26:27+00:00

I'm curious if you mean care while you're away? I would check into the normal 'first right of refusal' that's accompanies most divorces.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-05-31T12:24:15+00:00

My kids are 7 and 5. They both go to school, but my work can be very demanding and I have no family around. In terms of pay , au pairs get $200 a week (in addition to the living expenses). Overall it’s not expensive, especially that having the kids 50% should remove the child support I pay the devil.

who_tf_woke_me · 2024-05-31T11:32:39+00:00

Considered au pair in marriage, wife (who complains daily how exausted she is) rejected it outright. We have 2 spare rooms. Said she wanted a male au pair to spite me, and the idea died there.

akuvkdgm1246u · 2024-05-31T11:26:39+00:00

I’m in the same shoes and I’ve been wondering the same thing. I had a 21-year-old houseguest for three months that served as an Au Pair. The end, it was nice having somebody home on evenings that I had them which helped my dating life. But my kids were never really excited to be watched by him. And he felt more like having another child than having a childcare partner. So unless my work schedule becomes significantly more intense, I’m happier without one.

whiskey_piker · 2024-05-31T07:07:54+00:00

Then what; nothing the week they’re with their Mom while you’re still laying for the au pair? Have you looked into the costs?

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-05-31T05:42:18+00:00

Make sure she’s an absolute babe 😂

C20H25N3O-C21H30O2 · 2024-05-31T05:22:11+00:00

Need more context, especially your sons' ages and if they have any medical/mental condition. If your children are healthy and already school age, you can manage the daily care by yourself. It takes a bit of time to set the routine, and for things to settle, but otherwise it's grand. I have 50/50, full-time job, no au pair and my kids are 5 and 7. No issues, except when they are sick. When that happens my mom comes over to mind them so I don't lose my job.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-05-31T04:03:56+00:00

In what sense?

Reflog1791 · 2024-05-31T03:02:19+00:00

House cleaner once a month, you can handle the day to day. If they’re little and you can swing it, au pair sounds great until they’re in elementary.

Title	Single dads, did you consider having an Au Pair ?
Author	Enough_Youth_4564
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	May 31, 2024 2:55 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1d4ljne/single_dads_did_you_consider_having_an_au_pair/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/single-dads-did-you-consider-having-an-au-pair.1520101 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520101

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