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Comfortable-Angle660 Archive

View 9 posts and 2,060 comments by Comfortable-Angle660 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-1

Buddy, you did nothing “wrong”. This commenter is pushing idiotic “feels” reasons. You are dealing what a lot of us have dealt with, entitled women. Your mother did not set an unattainable standard, she set an appropriate standard. Don’t let this commenter gaslight you. Women today are entitled, selfish, and immature. You are “too nice” to them, and didn’t set enough boundaries to limit their bad behaviour.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 05:09 PM
1

Eventually some come back around while dealing with her bs and not having you to run interference for her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 05:16 PM
1

Exactly this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 02:37 PM
1

You have to lower your hours slowly over time, and make it look in the “best interest” of the children, and necessary, because your ex is “unfit”. It is a long intentional process.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:43 PM
2

Voluntary under-employment is a thing. The ex in my case did this, and the judge took it into account when computing retro-active spousal support (she got docked 30 percent). This was an almost 15 year marriage though. For a 5 year marriage, she won’t get much spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 12:39 PM
11

Absolutely. The only leverage a man has is his ability to walk away at a moment’s notice. Prenup and post-nup after each child is absolutely necessary, and if she is not willing, immediately dissolve the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 06:33 PM
3

You have no legal papers in place. You need temporary order asap! At the very least, exchanged emails agreeing on a schedule between lawyers. Otherwise, she can enforce a precedent, and the courts will be biased towards that! Get on it pronto!
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 02:02 PM
3

The Bible folks call it the Spirit of Jezebel.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 01:58 PM
1

Very good point about the iMessage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 01:55 PM
5

OP, there will not forced sale, your wife and you need to be on deed for that, and you both are not.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 01:43 PM
1

Exactly, and now you know the truth, she used you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:28 PM
1

Don’t spend money on her, worst thing you can do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:26 PM
1

She needs a damn job, and you need to force the situation OP. Your wife is trash, and you are approaching 10 year marriages, where in a lot of jurisdictional areas that means extended alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:23 PM
1

And women are not highly manipulative? Just stop with the bs. Both dread and your suggestions are highly unsustainable in the long term. If she is disrespectful, and his wife is, and is lazy (his wife is), is a roommate (his wife is) she is contentious and needs to go.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:21 PM
1

This is unsustainable advice. As soon as he gets older or get sick, she will be gone. What he needs to do is kick her to the curb for being a contentious b!tch.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:18 PM
1

Even if she agrees, she will use it against him.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:16 PM
1

Worst advice ever. Every man knows, you follow a woman, the relationship is doomed. You need to leave this forum with your erroneous advice, you are only setting men up for more pain and suffering.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:15 PM
10

Now you know the difference between most men, and all women. Most men have integrity, the gigolos and women don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:37 PM
5

You need to “heal”? What about her? Listen, she is bullsh!ting you, she wants you out of the house so she can entertain her new beau. You tell her, NO, immediate divorce, 50/50 on everything, including custody and parenting time of the kids. She can go get a job.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:25 PM
1

Because that is the tricks that are played in family court, doesn’t matter if you are paying for stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:22 PM
15

OP, NO!!!!!!! You need to keep the charges! For God’s sake, do you want that type of person raising your children? Wake the hell up. Sorry to be harsh, but you need it. File for divorce immediately!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 03:22 PM
1

All women act like children, to a varying degree, act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 11:56 AM
6

No matter how beautiful a woman, some man is sick of her bullsh!t.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 07:02 PM
1

Call the police!
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:38 PM
4

OP, ask yourself why you were depressed. Dealing with a witch like this is the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 01:35 PM
3

Same, took 4 years, she ended up with less. Schedule trial.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 07:27 PM
13

“Isn’t a lesbian anymore” until she is.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:22 PM
3

I tried, but the appraisals coming from her side were $100k higher than what it was worth, even a third party one. It sold for what the bank said it was worth, after deducting real estate and legal feels.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:18 PM
1

Can you obtain full custody of your daughter based on your wife’s psychological instability? If so, do so. I would hate to see the abuse your daughter would suffer if left alone with your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 03:03 PM
2

Take a loan or line of credit if necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:45 PM
3

Bud, that county employee is flying interference for your ex simply based upon the biased fact that she is a woman. Same happened with me. Years of a nothing burger, until situation looked so prejudicial that they had to act. The county clerk is hoping you will just drop the request, it’s what they do for women.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:09 AM
4

OP, I can tell you are a good father by how this is hitting you. Unfortunately, I suspect your child is going to have a rough life, because eventually her mother with get “bored” with this guy. All I can say is be that steady rock, your child is going to need it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 02:55 PM
4

Unfortunately, be on the other end of that. Biological is a raving lunatic, calls his daughter horrific names for literally no reason, etc. He has thrown her across rooms for arguing with him. Because of this, she has not seen him in at least 5 years. I have been the “dad”, but I get no recognition of that. Listen to her, encourage her, guide her critical thinking, etc. So, from the other side lads, don’t get with single mothers of any stripe in my opinion, their child rarely see you as anything…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 02:51 PM
8

Nurse
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 06:38 PM
4

Dude, blow it up, and take it down. This is not just about divorce, it is about infidelity, and this woman is in the pulpit!!
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 06:37 PM
0

It’s OP damn house, are you drunk?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 12:07 PM
5

OP, you give your “wife” time and she will knife you in the back with some false DV claim, have you removed from the house, and move her bf in. Use your head, act decisively and NOW. Infidelity is NOT forgivable in the normal sense.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 05:01 PM
2

Looking at the stats, women are mostly graduating with useless degrees. He’ll would freeze over before I spent money on another degree to “improve myself” to be accepted by women.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 12:58 AM
4

Exactly this. The ex is a lunatic with activities, always going because she never wants to actually parent. I can see it with my youngest, he no longer wants to go to her place, because he is exhausted and just wants to relax.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 10:41 PM
2

These other men have become feminized unfortunately…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 04:04 PM
3

Highly disagree. Coming from a LTR, that had all that, but defined s@x is absolute psychological torture, and I believe it is deliberate on the woman’s part. If she isn’t banging you, she is banging someone else, or wishing she was.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 04:02 PM
4

Nordic here, turned out her all the women in her family were cheaters, every single one of them. Didn’t find this out until after, due to language barrier.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 04:01 PM
1

Actually, she can, but she will be on the hook for half the payments come settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 10:44 PM
4

OP, she said she is leaving. Capitalize on it, short sell the house, or make a settlement offer while she is in the affair for. I hope you have lawyers involved.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 10:43 PM
1

65/35 split of money in my favour.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 08:53 PM
0

Sorry bud, extra-curriculars are the epitome of bs in my opinion, especially something akin to 4H. Micking farm activities into a contest, how about putting the kid to work on the farm and demand some input into the family. Most times, these are activities shoved onwards by neurotic women, to “show off” their children as “trophies” to the world, while at home, the mother sits on her @ss the entire day. Been there, done with those waste of $$ for ignorant women to show-off. Children belong workin…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:45 PM
0

Absolutely the truth, no matter what others say. When a woman seems more adjusted than the others that surround her, generally she had a strong father presence in her life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:39 PM
11

I spent close to $100k. I got full custody, and 100% of our eldest. She pays me child support. She was abusive. It was high conflict, I went into full war mode, she was told during settlement conference by judge she was not going to get what she wanted. Ask me in 5 years if it was worth it, I think it was, my cash flow is thankfully relatively high.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 09:10 PM
2

OP, she was pounded down behind the bleechers at the football field.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 06:49 PM
1

Perfectly played.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 06:46 PM
8

Let her suffer the consequences of her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 06:44 PM
2

Two things can be true at once.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 11:45 AM
8

OP, it’s called “selfish b!tch syndrome” aka victimization.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 11:41 AM
3

I would have cheered loudly.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 07:24 PM
3

No.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 07:23 PM
3

She is delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 06:13 PM
1

Notice she is not answering, she’s a cheater, only good for the streets.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:56 PM
3

Ok, yes, we understand that you were a doormat, but you need to realize she noticed this and intentionally manipulated you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:30 PM
6

Total lack of integrity.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:42 PM
5

Women only love you for what you provide, unless they are your mother. Cold hard fact.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:40 PM
4

Don’t agree with it. We are comparing a civil matter with travel rights which is guaranteed by the US constitution. I also disagree is payments of any type in general, and I say in general, because it disincentivizes the receiving party to work. Many a single mom sits on their @ss receiving only child support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 10:58 PM
8

Document, get a child psychologist involved, get a report, go for full custody. I don’t believe it was in your best interest to confront her. Unfortunately, you need to prove she is unfit, and the only way to do so it to allow this to continue. The ex did this to me, but it has backfired a lot, to the point that my son cries when he has to go to her place. Eventually he will stay with me full time. I don’t care what anyone says, no child needs an unfit parent.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 02:56 PM
6

OP, you shame her back, she is gaslighting you. You tell her: how dare you steal a future from our daughters, and double, then triple down on her. Refuse to back down, $100k is a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 06:42 PM
1

Does she have a green card? Maybe that is what she is trying to keep?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 06:34 PM
1

It is backed up by many a man’s historical experiences.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 01:20 PM
10

Nah, she wants YOU to be exclusive, but not HER.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 01:07 PM
2

OP, just stop blaming yourself. She’s a cheater. I assume your boundaries were broken? And you are wondering why you got angry? It was planned bud, she planned for that. You are playing into the typical scenario, of getting set up on DV charges. Stop, cool down, and divorce the cheating pos. If you think this is the first time, it isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 11:03 PM
1

Yeah, no, I wouldn’t be waiting, if and only for your own mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 09:54 PM
1

It’s not words, it’s not actions, it is patterns. This “it’s not all of them” is utter bs, they all act this way given enough rope, just to a varying degree.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 09:40 PM
6

The best way to sum it up: Frankly darling, I don’t give a damn. Unfortunately, even if children are involved. Women’s culture has become so toxic, the situation is dire.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 09:36 PM
2

Yes, very much so. Abused me, abused the children. Cheated also. You better believe I filed.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:59 PM
3

Look, OP, I do not condone your cheating, at all. I think what you did was terrible. That said, I suspect your ex was cheating. Have you DNA tested your son? Why SAA? Is it because of the cheating? You had an absolute dead bedroom for 5 years. Going to a hooker does not make you an addict. In fact, your wife denied you for five years, and in doing so committed infidelity herself by choosing herself over you, at least from a Christian spiritual perspective. I am not excusing you, I am just statin…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 10:35 PM
1

Have her income imputed at full-time, do not faulted in doing this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 09:01 PM
1

Default the house, walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 08:59 PM
3

OP, only had to read your first paragraph. First, stop talking about “how you feel”, because women weaponize that. Second, tell her to stop acting like a child. Third, tell her she is f’n wrong, and stop being such an ungrateful and disrespectful b!tch whenever she talks to you. Fourth, she’s a cheating whore, hire a PI if infidelity matters in your state. Lastly, call a lawyer and file.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 06:25 PM
1

Not sure about alimony, but for child support, the debt is sometimes sold to a global debt collector.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 04:32 PM
1

She cheated?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 11:12 PM
3

They are delusional, and full of sh!t, any feminist can die alone, for all I care.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 07:30 PM
4

Women will say they “sacrificed” but in reality they got free equity in a most likely appreciated asset and free food, utilities and whatever else he bought for her. She didn’t sacrifice anything. I will be telling my boys not to marry unless all their assets are in a trust, or have some other sort of leverage. The laws are too skewed in a woman’s favour.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 07:15 PM
12

Nah, not at all. Men are upset at the beginning, then realize what an entitled b!tch the ex was, and find freedom. Yes, women think they “got it all” after getting all the “cash and prizes” until they burn through it all and end up broke, then come crawling back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 07:12 PM
15

She was always that way, until her mask dropped. Or she started cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 01:05 PM
1

None of those “agreements” are enforceable in court, at least in any jurisdiction I know of. Check your’s, and let your ex sit in her anxiety by herself. So sick of women using mental illness as an excuse, and not doing anything about it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 12:37 PM
0

If they cheated together, full steam ahead. Otherwise, she just doesn’t want him to know the truth of the matter.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 12:42 PM
2

OP, she cheated, NEVER keep a cheating woman, be done with her with severe prejudice. She already broke your vows, there is no marriage in the eyes of God.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 11:12 AM
1

Because she is a liar.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 03:45 PM
3

Dude, lawyer now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 03:43 PM
7

They all come back after some time, in one way or another, after they are done riding other men. They are not coming back for you, they are coming back for what you provide, stability, which is why they left in the first place, they got border from the stability. I hope you see the insanity in that last sentence.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 10:19 AM
2

This is WHY you never move for a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 12:15 PM
2

CPS would NOT be happy about your daughter sleeping in the same room. I would suggest an anonymous call.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 09:34 PM
1

What is considered a few of your “high expectations”? What does she consider unhealthy about your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 09:20 PM
1

Exactly this. Filing first also controls the narrative, and is key for high conflict situations.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 07:31 PM
5

Living with a mentally ill woman who refuses treatment is hell.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 07:26 PM
5

Nah, it is for HER to blow and pretend she is a millionaire for a bit. She does NOT have the children’s future interest at heart, trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 06:44 PM
8

Now you record her and make it absolutely obvious.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 06:42 PM
1

Eh, she could have got the same job with a degree from a more affordable institution. You need to set these daughters up for if they had to pay for that degree THEMSELVES, rather than expecting Dad to pay for everything. At least STEM had a decent possibility of a job.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:42 PM
2

A lot of them “move on” while still in a marriage, it’s called “cheating”.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 12:48 PM
7

They are selfish to the core, dumb b!tches.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 12:17 PM
1

Geez, I knew this was BPD from the beginning. Look, I am going to level with you. If it truly was PMDD, they have a med to put her into a medical menopause. During use of that med, crazy is completely eliminated. In a lot of cases, even just birth control will accomplish similar. So if either of these were the case, and she still had “flare ups”, she does not have PMDD, it was either her lying to the doctor to get you off her case, or doctor refusing to diagnose her BPD due the the societal “sti…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 06:03 PM
1

Why would you “separate” without filing for divorce? That makes zero sense. As soon as you are out of the picture, of course she is going to go through a cowgirl saga. You should have filed for divorce immediately upon separation.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 10:59 AM
3

No, it is not a red flag, you do not understand female psychology.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 10:57 AM
0

If she was not taking care of you in the bedroom, she was choosing herself instead, and committing infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:46 PM
2

Right, no matter how “good guy” you are, it is never enough. Being “not a good guy” is the way, but it can be exhausting …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:44 PM
2

You cannot lead them to financial responsibility, that is the problem. If it wasn’t instilled in them as a child, or through some hard knocks, it will not happen.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:36 PM
5

The general consensus is the current female population is 16-19% Cluster B. This is a result of entitlement, and princess-attitude upbringing. Only approx. 10% of Cluster Bs had any identifiable and verifiable trauma in their past.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:16 PM
2

Similar, except ex bailed on work by going on disability, and when that ran out, refused to apply for disability from her pension.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:08 PM
5

Or even social media
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 12:04 PM
4

Yeah, no … most married men have sexless marriages, and have “learned to live with it” by basically denying a biological need and becoming stoic. If the majority of women didn’t chase after the top 5% of men, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 07:53 AM
1

Better than a savings account.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 09:02 PM
2

Stop with this “trying to do enough”, just stop. You tell her, if she deserved it, you would do extra, but she doesn’t, so you ain’t.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 11:45 AM
3

That’s why you call them out, tell them they are a major @hole, and stop rewriting history. It helps to also tell her to check herself into a mental institution if she keeps blathering on about bullsh!t. There’s the door “lady”, take it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 04:41 PM
2

We expect the woman to “fight her urges to be stupid and dumb”.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 04:33 PM
8

Yeah, absolutely deny her. She can leave your boy with you, and she can have the weekends and extended holidays.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 11:14 AM
3

Then tell her to f right off.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 11:12 AM
5

Teenage girls are dangerous, especially one’s with chips on their shoulder. Many a false allegation has been spread against step-dads.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 12:34 AM
1

Then you go younger until you find one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 12:32 AM
10

Look, in general, you have to follow your gut. My gf had older teenagers, I thought it was worth the risk. You need to assert, from the beginning, your level of involvement. No involvement, some involvement or full involvement. I chose full involvement, and yes, I subsidize some of their life, but I demand full authority for my efforts. Their father is not involved at all, except child support. I just kicked the 22yo out of the house for getting plastered and waking the whole house up at 3am, al…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 12:29 AM
4

If you want kids, first, you get a woman that can actually have them with spending tons of money.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 12:15 PM
0

Women are supposed to be a helpmate, not some boss b!tch pseudo-male. Your ex is a pseudo-male.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:11 PM
7

Your first mistake was dating a “career woman”, 90% divorce rate right there. The only thing I can say is your boy needs you as his masculine role model. No matter what society says, you are needed my man, otherwise your boy will wander aimlessly without you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:00 PM
1

She did ignore anything, she is just using them as excuses now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 08:29 PM
2

You should file first, in case she tries to go for a protection order to get you out of the house. Unfortunately, you are on the hook for half of her student loans.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 08:25 PM
1

This right here, thanks for posting this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 02:08 PM
1

She would be spending money to get “made up” either way.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 02:01 PM
2

Exactly, he is clueless. She ran-through like the corner hooker when she was away.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 01:58 PM
2

OP, I am sorry to say this, but you are an idiot. The only “reason” the ex came back was because she was jealous. Now you got rid of the good gf.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 01:57 PM
1

Right, so don’t give her anything more than you legally had to.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 01:54 PM
0

OP, she’s a cheater, or got another guy lined up. They all do this when want another man. They pick and you, and shame you, until you snap (because anyone would eventually) then they get a “protection order” to remove you from the house.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 01:51 PM
4

In other words, she’s a liar and just views you as a wallet.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 11:49 AM
2

Your mistakes? Yeah, no … her mistakes more like it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 07:33 PM
3

Either don’t respond, or tell her to F-off.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 07:32 PM
2

Dude, she doesn’t love you, and that is the reason for the intimacy, gay or not.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 05:41 PM
11

If left because of her abuse in every area that matters.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 03:24 PM
1

I would argue the majority of women these days are NOT logical, but we are welcoming to the ones that have enough self reflection to be somewhat logical.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 03:18 PM
1

Look, unless you signed that house away, you go after it for her abusing you. She f’n abused you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 06:50 PM
5

You take him when you are sick. Reframe it, it is YOUR time with him, not some duty. If you are sick, have your mom come over to help. If your son is sick, you still take him, full stop. You need a lawyer. Demand 50/50, no exceptions.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 02:06 PM
1

Terrible strategy. He needs to nail her to the wall, and prove his ex unfit as a parent. If there is a restraining order involved, he needs to work to get it over-turned. He needs temporary custody orders in place 50/50, and die on that hill. It is going to cost a fortune.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 03:15 AM
-1

Time to put the gf to work around your house, to lower your burden, and if she refuses, replace her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 08:34 PM
1

Oh, I can be …
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 07:03 PM
2

This is why you do not keep it out of court. You file first, and you set the narrative. You use intended false allegations as reasons to file first, as your ex is contentious and defaming your reputation. You file for full custody based on her parental alienation, and file also for a restraining order. Do this NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 04:52 AM
3

Bingo.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 04:17 PM
12

She used you to be a wallet for her kids, that’s what happened.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 04:13 PM
5

Immediately when I left.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 01:39 AM
0

Listen OP, she is not respectful, or submissive. She is argumentative, and contentious. She is not wife material, and you know it. For God’s sake do not have children with this woman.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 12:10 PM
4

That whole “cleaning terrorism” sounds very familiar, sorry you went through that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 10:14 PM
6

Yep, “Christian counsellors” tried to do the same to me. I shamed the living hell out of them, and told them the ex would pay the consequences for her evil behaviour. Come to find out, they were setting me up, compiling a list of lawyers for the ex. So in other words, they were trying to shove all that garbage down my throat to buy time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:09 PM
5

They dismiss it, because they only see the top 10-20% of men running around, and assume all men do that …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:05 PM
11

That isn’t chauvinism, it’s reality. Reagan said it best, “Trust but verify.” Unfortunately, many men never verified.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 01:01 PM
2

This is not completely true. The true issue is that our recent generations of men do not put women in their place by shaming them appropriately. These women walk around with a sense of entitlement. Men need to know that we are the bottom line, and if she doesn’t like it, the door is right there. This is the only leverage we have left, and it is strictly mental leverage. A man needs to not give a damn whether he “wins” or “loses”, and be willing to show her the door in a split second.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 10:14 AM
4

She has OP manipulated rather well, one day he hopefully wakes up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 03:42 AM
5

I gave a lot of thought, and did 99% of it. She sat on her @ss on her f’n phone, rarely did anything. I know for a fact it ain’t much, and is a luxury. This all while homeschooling eldest, working full time, and taking care of a toddler. She was on disability for two years, then refused to go back to work, but also refused to continue disability. How did I do it all? A lot of work from home, a lot of help from my mother.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 08:26 PM
2

And you paid off the house.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 08:22 PM
1

They are investing in “not appearing like the bad women”. I did the same, turned out good.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 04:50 PM
1

The only thing is alimony payments are tax deductible. One has to run the numbers.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 04:49 PM
3

Exactly, she will try and set OP up on some terrible DV charge …
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:59 AM
1

OP, I disagree with a lot what was posted here. You did the right thing, and to let is stay quiet would not be instantiating consequences. She deserved to be shamed, and her response shows you were right. Your ex is a piece of trash, treat her as such. Public shaming needs to make a return to our society.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 02:26 PM
1

You said one of the magic words: nurse Translation: floor floating whore
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 02:24 PM
1

That is where you figuratively take them by the neck and hold their face to the grindstone and shame them for the lack of appreciation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 02:23 PM
1

Her response proves you won, and are right, now be the king you were meant to be.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 02:21 PM
1

Diet Coke on the rocks …
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 01:03 AM
6

Exactly this. The ex is treated as dead to me, I think nothing of her. I pity the fact my children have to associate with her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:01 AM
9

Considering the financial devastation that can happen with me retiring into a ditch somewhere if I had to divorce a second time, it is not my favourite idea.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 10:00 PM
3

There used to be societal or legal ramifications for breaking vows, but as society has degraded, so have our laws.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:38 PM
2

She did, she just wanted the party aspect of it though.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:36 PM
6

“Dedicating her life to a bad decision” … no, she is just a selfish b*tch and treats her husband like trash, but at least she realized it was wrong to think that way, and let him go.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:33 PM
1

Listen, these forums are for support and “negative experiences”. Sweeping statement are through the lense of “my marriage was bad, so yea, I am biased.” I am sorry your man cheated on you, you did not deserve that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:23 PM
2

You felt sick when you proposed? Wow, that was some major red flag ignoring there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:21 PM
2

Eh, when one is close to retirement, we have more time for “emotional healing” than we do for “recreating wealth”.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 03:19 PM
2

No, there isn’t. This is entitlement on the stbxw’s part. None of what you listed is a valid reason, but then again, that’s why Soviet is such a circus show nowadays, isn’t it?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:52 AM
1

In my opinion, it is not the house, it is the defacto standard. In most cases the defacto standard is the house unless …someone leaves with the children, and lives with them for several months in another location. Judges are reluctant to change status quo, especially if the stbxw is abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:40 AM
1

OP, you can file now to halt the clock, and assure it is filed in your current county/state. You then file to get an immediate custody order in place, and a force sale of house order, and any other temp orders you deem necessary. Then you drag it out, just like they always do, to buy time to solidly your “situation”.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:21 PM
4

PPD is a “convenient” excuse used by women to cover-up selfish behaviour, and other diagnosable mental health conditions. OP, you are a boss, keep the accelerator to the floor.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:12 PM
1

What is this “structural imbalance” you speak of? We need the details.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 03:44 PM
1

You cares? She deserves it, she blew up the family.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 11:19 AM
2

Good Lord man, that sure was an oversight in signing that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 11:09 AM
5

This is the truth. Cash and prizes on the way out. Also temporary investment to get children.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 10:27 PM
2

OP, you need to think hard here. Why does a young daughter need DBT intervention? Answer that honestly. It ain’t you demonstrating Cluster B behaviours, it is your stbxw. Your stbxw doesn’t need a “break”, she needs DBT herself, along with being held responsible for her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 12:01 PM
2

Your “kids” are adults, don’t put too much brain resources into it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 01:01 AM
2

Stupid f’n women. We stopped slapping b*tches and they took that as a good ahead to start acting like children having a tantrum.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:59 PM
1

If she has any sort of education, you need to impute her to the total of that expected salary. It was HER choice to stay at home, you had ZERO decision in that, and you to seriously PUSH that narrative. You cannot force someone to work, were you supposed to divorce her immediately? In the truest legal sense, yes, you should have divorced her immediately, but we all know how that goes.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:18 PM
5

Two different circumstances. If the younger woman is a feminist nutjob, no man wants that. If the younger woman is feminine, and family oriented, a man will most likely go for her. How do you compete with that? Don’t be a feminist nutjob, and be feminine. Since you are older, you will also have more culturally in common with a man around your age.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 10:30 PM
2

Hire a PI, I suspect she is cheating. You need to get out of the clown show now!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 03:54 PM
4

Issues is, it wasn’t you that was the problem, it was solely her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 03:53 PM
5

Never beg.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 03:52 PM
3

Well observed Jedi …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:05 PM
2

You should have left with your stuff, then this argument would not be happening. It doesn’t if “you are not supposed to”, women do it all the time taking things that they are not entitled to. Guard your possessions. If she is not open to the idea of you buying out the property at a reasonable price, force the seller to, and get it done asap, otherwise you are going to bleed financially.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 08:29 PM
8

Never.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 08:26 PM
3

Dude, the aunt’s passing was just the excuse she needed to cheat …
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:13 PM
6

“Attacked and can never do anything right” coming from a woman, is her inability to be held accountable.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 07:11 PM
8

You need an f’n lawyer bud. You should be seeking alimony from her!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:41 PM
3

Ummm, what is SHE responsible for? Sounds like nothing … If she is this irresponsible now, how will she be with children? I can tell you: terrible. At all costs, do not have children with her. If she has black&white thinking, read up on personality disorders. She is abusive by her actions. The sooner you divorce, the better. Imagine how you exhausted you will be after 15 years!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 01:10 AM
1

Some jurisdictions don’t stop financial obligations on the date of separation.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 09:22 PM
4

Your story proves that society is full of sh*t. It should make a difference, and cheaters should be socially shamed.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 05:12 PM
11

OP, you sound like a woman. If she respects you, and you respect her, that is the foundation of a marriage. Try living with someone that doesn’t respect you, it is pure hell. You need serious therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:03 PM
2

Did you not input her to the six-figure salary? She should have to have a doctor note for partial disability if not.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:38 PM
3

Exactly this. He also needs to turn down any future promotions.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:36 PM
2

It could also cancel alimony, and affect custody of children are involved if at-fault is available.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 01:01 PM
5

You need to cancel any shared credit cards. She took all the money, and is attempting to make you burn all your cash, so she can crush you in court.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 02:36 AM
4

It is a symptom of “princess fever”. Every boy is brought up as to how to treat women, women are not brought up on how to treat men, only with what they “deserve”.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 02:32 PM
8

I guess “dirty wh*re” is out of the question as a label?
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 02:30 PM
1

OP, your wife is the one that should be in counselling! What are you doing? Seriously, you are bending over backwards, and she is reciprocating with borderline abusive ways.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 02:20 PM
2

Terrible!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 02:06 PM
1

Why would they let the youngest go with her? That whole “tender years doctrine”, even though I did 98% of the child rearing while she did her own thing. Basically, she has to abuse the youngest more before I can do anything about it. Ridiculous, but unfortunately the way it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:11 PM
1

Yes, she was involuntarily committed serval times, for a minimum of 72 hours, one time for months. No, the eldest is still a minor. They did not want to spend time with the ex because of the abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:07 PM
2

Text messages. Hospital records, which she had to respond to, which essentially verified she was mentally ill. Records of her psychiatric meds. Her own admissions. Affidavit from a common friend. I left with the children because of the abuse. She was in a mental institution when served. Lastly, Canadian version of guardian ad litem assigned a social worker to spend time with the children, and came to conclusion ex was unfit except for 50% parenting time with the youngest, without decision making…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 08:06 PM
2

Yes, typo
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 07:57 PM
4

I am aware, and it could have gone a lot worse if I had not had solid evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:53 PM
6

Canada. She was extremely abusive, and her mental health was heavily documented. My eldest also told the guardian ad litem what she had done.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:50 PM
1

I shamed the witch into giving it to me. I still have it, only because I have not had time to monetize it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 03:25 AM
3

No matter how beautiful a woman is, some man is done cleaning with her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 03:06 PM
6

Speculation here, but approximately 80% of mental health professionals suffer from mental health issues themselves. I suspect some of these therapists “get off” on the idea of breaking up couples.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 03:04 PM
3

Or they are projecting. There is a high propensity among women to have sub-clinical cluster B traits due to the degradation of society. It was once believed that cluster B existed in about 5% of women, whereas know, it is suspected to be approximately 19%.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 03:01 PM
10

Correct, it is a derogatory term used once a man uses the word “no”.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 02:59 PM
3

Correct, it is a derogatory term used once a man uses the word “no”.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 02:59 PM
1

The daughters don’t want to be at their mother’s place, that is why you don’t see their behaviours as much. When they are at the mother’s place, their anxiety increases, and the behaviours present.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 05:16 AM
1

No, statistics prove otherwise, you need to educate yourself. Any woman acting like that, is mentally ill, and will definitely take it out on her children if husband is no longer in the house. I unfortunately have experience in this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 11:53 PM
3

Ex was a literal b*tch to deal with. I practically did everything, so nothing has changed.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 01:31 PM
2

You think yourself “needy”? Ummm, no. If you were the man she wanted, she would be riding you like the cowgirl she should be. You deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 12:59 AM
1

“No.” Is a full sentence. Braces are not medically necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 11:57 PM
1

Overbite/underbite generally involves surgery, which would be medical, but braces are not.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 11:56 PM
-2

Braces are NOT medically necessary, at least by any definition I have read. Braces are voluntary.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 11:54 PM
4

This is the only comment on this thread that tell the truest reality of it all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 11:16 PM
3

Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 11:10 PM
2

That sounds like a nightmare!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:16 PM
3

It is just basic human decency. She wouldn’t talk like that to her boss, and if she did, she’d be fired.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:15 PM
2

No, the kid will not be fine if left with that woman, she will take her rage out on the child.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 01:58 PM
3

For the love of God, why the hell did you bring her coffee? She is trash. She is an abusive pos. You need to file for full custody of your child, because once you are gone, she WILL target your child with her rage. If you leave the house, you take the child with you due to her being abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 01:55 PM
1

She would back on SSDI, she would be imputed to that at a minimum.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 10:53 PM
11

She waited for the house to be closed on, because her name is now on a deed, and the money is locked up into it. If you had a bunch of cash, she might of thought you would “steal” it somehow. Now, she is most likely going to drag her feet, and fight for the house, while you are paying the mortgage. Lawyer up asap, and demand emergency motion for custody, and sale of the home. Yes, you are absolutely being used and manipulated. Stay calm, do not react, all interaction with lawyers. If you are in …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 06:50 PM
1

Get that all in writing pronto! Once she realizes she will be paying child support, she will go nuclear.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 06:35 PM
11

Absolutely not, never invite a cheating ex.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 04:33 PM
9

Ummm, not your problem she isn’t “ready”.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:06 AM
1

Time to carpet bomb the entire deal AFTER divorce done, then let his gf know.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:49 PM
2

The ex did the same with me. They want a “good man/provider” for the father, but a broke Chad for fun.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:47 PM
3

Yeah, heck no OP, divorce her with severe prejudice.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 11:45 PM
8

Now you know her true self, 304.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 10:58 PM
4

OP, she betrayed you in the grossest way possible, this is something you should NOT move past. Have more respect for yourself, because she literally has none for you. Divorce her with severe prejudice.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 06:36 PM
1

You just disconnect the call, you don’t tell her you are doing it. Now your daughter gets “bonus time” with Daddy!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 02:20 PM
5

Look, as someone else said, unless your ex truly is evil, in my opinion, there is no such thing as “incompatible”. What there is though, is feminism and this innate ability of a woman of being selfish. I guarantee you are not to blame in this, unless you cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:25 AM
6

Avoid her at all costs, get a body camera.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 08:29 PM
6

She’s cheating bud.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 01:17 PM
6

lol, not a chance, no passwords to anything.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 12:23 PM
2

I suspect you stbxw is not willing to take responsibility for, or be held accountable. Not much you can do with that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 06:29 PM
1

The only honest appraisal is by the bank, everything else is bs. The reason? They will only use the bank appraisal for people to get a mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 04:31 PM
1

Oh, it will, after she spends all her money, and is in danger of living on the streets, she’ll get all “nostalgic”.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:44 PM
2

This is the better perception. Men put up with way too much bullsh*t.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:41 PM
1

Cheating is an instant divorce, up there with abuse of any kind.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:40 PM
1

I personally do not believe it is ever helpful, it is a sham industry. If BOTH individuals in a relationship are level-headed, they will never need counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:39 PM
12

“Marriage counselling” is just a man bashing session. Go back in the my comments for this sub, and it can be even worse what a “counsellor” can be up to.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 02:35 PM
2

And “positive parenting” methods have produced furbies and twisted up teens as well, so get in line.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:44 PM
2

Exactly this, it is how a judge will perceive this situation, and that is the only thing that counts.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:41 PM
3

This is the perfect answer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:37 PM
14

She is behaving this way because she wants to remove custody from the father, full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 04:36 PM
4

She got free rent, and housing during this time. He has more than “paid” her for her services. No woman deserves alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:49 PM
3

Because the counsellor generally sides with the woman in the situations, and blames the man for everything. It also buys your soon to be ex time to blindside you. Women are rarely honest during these counselling situations in my opinion. Case in point, mine. Ex was abusive against me and our eldest, mentally, emotionally, and physically. She also cheated multiple times. Two counsellors, one male, one female. Both met with us separately. Male counsellor kept steering me towards accepting fault fo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 01:45 PM
1

No, you take the children with you. Your ex is abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 04:53 PM
1

Then get a RO against her, and have her removed from the house because of her abusive behaviour, or move out and take the children with you. Anything else is not an option.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 04:51 PM
-1

“Digging those holes” ends up turning into setting precedence, and defacto custody. OP, your lawyers are setting you up to losing your kids. You need to file for an emergency custody motion if you have not already. If you ever get those kids, do NOT return them. You seriously messed up by not moving out and taking the children with you, now you are seriously screwed if this precedence does not get flipped in your favour shortly. You are behaving like a “trained” little man, stop it. You take the…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 05:42 AM
3

I am sure it would have been admissible if you were the one being toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 06:26 PM
1

You get a loan
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:20 PM
4

Exactly this. The ex has drag it out for almost 4 years, and the only thing I successfully got done was the parenting agreement/custody. I have tried negotiating with her multiple times, and every time I think we have a deal, she up ends the table, and thousands more wasted. My opinion, get it straight to trial and/or motion for summary judgement as quickly as possible, THAT will save you money.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:18 PM
3

Ummm, no, it comes from entitlement from the cheating spouse, in the case of a wife cheating. For a man, it is either entitlement, or his wife uses sex as a weapon.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 08:50 PM
3

She obviously does NOT believe in him, therefore it will not work.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 08:49 PM
3

My ex was abusive to me and the kids on many levels, I would consider it also a sexless marriage, because who wants to sleep with an abuser. Divorced. Found new woman, things were great, then turned sexless. It is better than being abused, but I feel used, and my needs are clearly unmet.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 07:53 PM
3

When a woman says she does “everything”, I don’t believe her. If a man says he does “everything”, I tend to believe him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 01:54 AM
1

Truth, same with my experience.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 01:53 AM
1

He should leave with the child. She is abusive, and the environment is toxic to the child.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 01:48 AM
5

You have no respect for yourself if you stay. Take the trash to the curb, and don’t listen to a word she says. File, and do not tell her you are doing so. File for exclusive use of the home, and sole custody. Blindside her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 08:43 PM
7

Many women go through menopause and never think of doing “crazy sh*t”, so I don’t think that is it. I think the insanity has always been there, and maybe the change in hormones exasperates it, but that is far as it goes. Back in the day, these women would have been put in the mental ward.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:54 PM
1

She’s a cheater OP, time to take the trash out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 09:20 PM
1

You need a lawyer dude.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 03:34 PM
1

Sometimes a judge will force YOU to pay HER lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 02:47 AM
2

OP, if this was a “test” she is an absolutely horrendous person, and mentally ill. She FAFO, her problem. You deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 03:03 PM
6

Just an fyi from my case … Bank appraised property at $540k. Her appraiser set it to $660k. Judge suggested $595k, I said no way. 3rd appraiser put it at $620k. Property ended up selling for $578k. Guess what? $578k minus real estate and legal fees, ended up with ~$540k. So the bank was correct, and I lost a house I wanted to keep. Greed messes up a lot of things.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:56 PM
1

It as much as the internet lets on it does.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 11:27 PM
1

Perimenopause is an excuse that is over used. Many, many woman jump back into the sack after divorcing their husbands, without a whim or worry.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 11:25 PM
1

It’s an excuse, sorry to tell you. Just look at all the women that leave their husbands, and go ride Tyrone and Chad without a problem.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 11:23 PM
1

Nah, she became entitled and self-absorbed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 11:20 PM
1

Ummm, no. He is already putting in way too much effort, and he needs to stop doing that. He is basically raising another child that is entitled.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:07 PM
2

Of course she doesn’t. Any woman who was appreciative wouldn’t “allow” him to do so much.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:06 PM
2

You need to ask yourself WHY you are doing the majority of the work, and she gets off so easy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:04 PM
2

You cannot change the locks without a court order. If she does, she needs to provide a key, UNLESS she has a court order stating she has exclusive use of the home.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 04:09 PM
3

This is WHY you don’t allow them to stay in the house. I guarantee she is going for the long haul restraining order, and will not move out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:13 PM
1

My ex was dx’d borderline personality disorder and bipolar 1, and the marriage counsellor lined her up with divorce lawyers to blind slide me. Luckily the dummy left her Hotmail open on the family laptop, with the email right there. I think you need to think a bit harder.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:55 AM
1

He ain’t mocking them, he’s proving a point. Women and dysfunctional children are neurotic, and exaggerate and blow things way out of proportion. Even raising one’s voice is considered “yelling”, but the woman can scream like a deranged lunatic and she is just “raising her voice”.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:40 PM
0

It doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:36 PM
2

Correct. The courts needs to sort this out, no matter the method used to raise the child. OP can worry all he wants, won’t change anything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:36 PM
-2

Totally disagree here, especially with unruly teenagers. Who gives a care if they “hate” you, YOU know who the true “loser” is in this situation, the child. You are correct though, respect is not the same as love. The next time OP feels down about how a child views him, or viewed him, he needs to remember his job was to raise the child to be successful in society. Will the child’s future boss be “peaceful” when he shows up for work late for the third time? No, he will f’n fire them. Not our job …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:34 PM
1

It is hard for her family to admit their relative is a selfish b*tch, thus the confusion. :)
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:27 PM
1

Unfortunately, in a lot of areas are still biased. I did get the Guardian Ad Litem/OCL involved though, and that is how custody was determined. Judges rarely go against those reports. Not sure that existed when your father went to court.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:24 PM
3

OP, just stop now. This is a nightmare, and she is abusing you! She is possibly Cluster B. You need to divorce this abusive woman, and for God’s sake, stop sleeping with her!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 11:14 PM
1

OP, demand receipts, and court would be ok with that. Never provide money without proof of service rendered.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:32 PM
1

Not necessarily, court was willing to hear my 12yo (at the time) without a problem. The judge invited my child to speak privately in chambers, and extended the invitation to my attorney for the next court conference, but it ended up not being necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 07:31 PM
1

File the damn PO. Stop dragging your feet.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 06:15 PM
13

Never lie to your kids. Tell them the truth, or if too young, tell them you will tell them later.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 03:31 PM
5

And hopefully the kids won’t turn to illicit drugs and alcohol because of her selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 07:14 PM
4

Correction: 3
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 07:13 PM
9

BS. You fell out of love with her because she hen-pecked you to death. This whole “emotional avoidance/emotional intelligence” bs is womanese for you “not entertaining her drama, and disagreeing with her.” Assign blame for where it is due.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:23 PM
8

BS. These facts have proven false over and over again. Statistics state children have much better outcomes in happy intact homes. Will they be better in a divorce if the parent are not amicable? Of course. Children are not “resilient” and divorce causes them trauma no matter how well the exes get along. In a lot of cases, the exes should not even strive to recognize each other, because one of them did something heinous, and that includes “chasing happiness”.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:22 PM
2

You don’t forgive her unless you are ready.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:18 PM
6

If the deed is not in her name also, post it for sale. If it is in her name, get a court order to force the sale of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 04:40 PM
3

Talk about entitlement on her part, eh? Couldn’t even pick up your prescriptions for PNEUMONIA!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 03:49 PM
4

Nurse
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 03:33 PM
19

It means she is going to act on her internal selfishness, and no longer considers you a reason not to.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 12:25 AM
2

When men are dealing with the female dark triad traits, how do you expect anything different? It is not the men, it is the women.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 02:43 PM
3

Correct, society has DEVOLVED …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 02:40 PM
2

Here’s to hoping she gets a speeding ticket every day, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 02:14 PM
2

OP, women never believe a man unless they are faced with irrefutable proof, and even then they don’t want to believe him, because most likely they did something similar to your ex but got away with it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 02:13 PM
23

Nah, you tell the kids, they don’t deserve to live in her delusional world.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:57 PM
5

Exactly, tell her to go right ahead, be your guest. You tell her right back, if she does that, she get’s jack sh*t, you will stop paying everything, and she can live under a bridge somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:49 PM
12

The next time on you see the children, you take them back home to their home state, this needs to happen fast, and soon. As soon as they are in your custody, you stop all payments, and you file immediate court order for full custody. This needs to be done NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 05:23 AM
0

Geez man, when I found out about infidelity, the ex was dead to me. I don’t know how anyone would find that acceptable to go back to that kind of behaviour. She doesn’t love you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:17 PM
3

The only time one leaves, is if the stbxw is abusive. You leave with the children, full stop, and take them to a safe place.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 02:45 PM
-1

Exactly this. In my opinion, the only thing his wife cares about is the bank balance. The fact that they are sleeping in different rooms proves this. She doesn’t support him at all, and that in and of itself, proves she is a terrible wife.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 02:15 PM
4

It reads like someone trying to make a quick buck at the expense of someone’s vulnerability.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 08:45 PM
4

Yep, cheater diaries.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:28 PM
8

This is what it has become. The majority of “modern women” are damaged goods. Gone of the good days when a woman added to the family beyond giving birth. They spend like drunk sailors, and don’t even know how to parent effectively. The majority suffer from “main character syndrome”. Cannot even trust in a woman “from the church” nowadays. Enjoy your freedom, but especially your peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 05:37 PM
2

Which is good you know this up front, because these women that you speak of are “jealous” that you would need time with your children.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:46 PM
0

And most of them are rabid man-hating pseudo lesbians, or have serious mental health issues.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:45 PM
0

Honestly, OP, it is not worth it. Technically, I would have expected your son to put his foot done, and clear the way. Knowing how modern women react, it is best just to lay low. Taking the high road though, definitely do not make this a hard and fast rule, that is how you will be abused if you do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:28 PM
0

OP, This is the real point to rest your mind on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:26 PM
1

Well, I think you were an extremely well adjusted young man in my opinion. My youngest, who was 1.5yo when I took him and his older brother from our abusive family home, still to this day questions why things happened, and asks if it was his fault. This did not occur immediately, obviously, but he is a very intuitive little boy, and put two and two together. He is now five, and still struggles, because he does not remember how abusive his mother was, to them, and to me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 03:23 PM
1

Just NO.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 10:25 PM
2

In OP’s case, his stbxw is already a cheater, so no love lost.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:43 PM
3

OP, what were you thinking when you stayed after she cheated? That is something you do not back down on. You say nothing, and have her served for adultery. In a situation like this, you do NOT avoid lawyers, because her adultery NEEDS to be published to the public record. When she asks, you tell her the damn truth, she’s a sltty piece of sht, and she makes you want to vomit every time you see her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:40 PM
1

Go with the bank appraisal value, because that is the only “fair” amount a bank will mortgage to. If a secondary value is even higher, it is just pie in the sky, because no buyer will be able to obtain a mortgage unless they have a lot of cash for a down payment.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 04:16 AM
4

“Courted by a man she is sexually attracted to, and didn’t settle for”. Fixed that for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 06:36 AM
2

OP, she could have informed your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 09:37 PM
4

Take her to the cleaners.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 03:05 PM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 03:39 AM
4

No they don’t. Any respectful woman would NEVER bring this up, never.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:19 PM
2

This is why you get rid of women like that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:18 PM
4

If the parents have any integrity, they would appreciate the information. You better believe I told them, after that it is up them to use it as necessary. If they had integrity, especially the father, they would disown her. Public shaming of bad behaviour if the only thing that will stop it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:06 PM
-4

You send it, you deserve the justice of it. If they were good parents, they would disown her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:04 PM
4

Lost about 40 pounds …
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 07:12 AM
6

Any woman that say “bare minimum” needs to be shown the door post haste.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:17 PM
6

Time to influence her to do so, before filing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:07 PM
5

Sounds like a “her” problem.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:06 PM
3

In other words, she has lost respect for you, somehow, some way. Put her in her place, and if she keeps at it, time to divorce. Respect is the hill to die on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:05 PM
3

Delete
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 02:24 PM
1

Exactly. The best thing for these children is for the mother NOT to be in their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 12:48 AM
2

Look, her income needs to be imputed to the maximum her education can afford her, and the highest average over the last three years, whichever is higher.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 10:33 PM
2

You let her sleep in, how about hell no?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:26 PM
6

Not your responsibility to be her psychiatrist.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 05:45 PM
15

Women generate their own stress out of nothing, because they are eternally unhappy.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 05:43 PM
4

Is suspect a man was divorced, because his wife found out he was carrying on a homosexual affair for ten years behind her back. She told the “lover’s” mother, who disowned her son. The son being the husband’s “lover”.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:47 PM
3

Get emergency orders in place, don’t be stupid about this!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:55 PM
13

OP, I don’t know who has brainwashed you, but you need to get your big boy pants, file, and emergency orders for full custody and exclusive use of the home, like YESTERDAY!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:52 PM
4

Correct, a very female-centric bias. Any woman that respects her husband, would never cut off sex, never, ever. This might be a bit brash, but if things are “all good” at the beginning of a relationship, and she is all over the guy, but then now she is not, then obviously the problem is with her, I.e. lack of respect. “Emotional connection” is usually always generated by the man’s actions, but what has really changed is “her feelings”. The main question is, why should the man try any longer, if …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:51 PM
3

When someone does that, they typically have a high level neuroticism.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:37 PM
2

The ex was a liar, liar, pants of fire. She abused the children, and me, denied all of it. On top of this, the counsellor was drafting a list of lawyers for the ex, while stringing me along that things were getting better. The ex left her email open on the family laptop, and I read that email, filed shortly after.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:16 PM
3

Bud, the reason she wants another counsellor, is because your current one is holding her accountable. She wants a feminist pos counsellor that will enable her terrible behaviour.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 12:48 PM
13

Absolutely, full stop, file like yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 12:26 PM
4

OP, She manipulated you for the baby and your income. If she really was attracted to you, it would have never stopped.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 12:12 AM
4

People that get “bored” doing simple things are “boring”.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 01:15 AM
1

She is not legally entitled.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:24 PM
8

Bullsh*t excuses, all of it. If a woman is in love with a man, nothing about perimenopause will matter.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 11:23 PM
8

OP, your wife is not supposed to be your best friend, she is your wife, major difference. You two did not drift away, SHE decided to cut off all intimacy, and that is why you grew apart. I would be surprised if she had not at least emotionally cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 11:20 PM
1

Certain software enables the phone to be a spy device. OP has full custody, she has no business making demands.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 04:24 PM
1

Ummm, if she hasn’t helped during 15 surgeries, she ain’t going to change.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:51 PM
1

It I bet is was alright to have the sniffles and be in bed for a week …
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:51 PM
2

Good points.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:49 PM
1

Exactly this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:21 PM
2

Bro, if you take her back, she is going to manipulate the situation to back stab you. Never trust a person with BPD, especially in a situation like this. She will drop you, and abuse you, as soon as it is convenient to her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:20 PM
0

Irresponsible to say he has the personality disorder, but not irresponsible to question the irrationality of his decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 06:19 PM
29

When a woman says “show up better”, I tell her to stop talking like that, or she can pack her sh*t and leave. That is emotional manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 03:58 PM
2

There generally isn’t, but there should be.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:05 AM
2

Not for men, there isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:04 AM
2

The issue is OP should have filed an emergency custody hearing, and he didn’t. Now his ex is setting precedent.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 10:37 PM
1

None. I would not marry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 10:30 PM
3

If she is diagnosed, file for full custody, and do not go back. Get video of her outbursts, especially at the children. This is war bud, trust me, you need to protect those children.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 10:26 PM
4

No truer words have been spoken.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 10:05 PM
1

Sounds very familiar as well. Absolute greed and entitlement. Next fall will be 4 years in my litigation. Ex still has not provided any financials, can you f’n believe that? Only one disclosure in spring of 2022, with no income listed, and the rest was rubbish.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:31 PM
4

I would contradict your assertion that most women communicate, and argue that they do not. The social entitlement of feminism knows no bounds. Demanding, unapologetic behaviour is not communication.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:25 PM
7

Complete and utter rubbish. You are providing excuses and not leveling blame to where it needs to be directed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:22 PM
9

In short, it’s called entitlement. You will never meet a modern woman’s “needs”.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:17 PM
18

Wow, what a toxic family. I am glad you flexed your legal muscles.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:15 PM
1

Then f’n ignore her, and follow the parenting agreement to a tee, no negotiations.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 02:03 AM
2

That’s when you move out with the children, because she is abusive, and don’t tell me she is not with the children. She ever shout and scream in front of them? I thought so. You file for full custody, and exclusive use of the home, and a TRO. You play it fast and hard, then let the dust settle afterwards. Sorry, but a I am so sick and tired of mental lunatics abusing their husbands and children and getting away with it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 01:50 AM
3

Also, lack of character.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 04:58 AM
3

Correct, they drag out things when their side has no leverage, so that you spend more in lawyer fees to get things done, and end up panicking into make a deal against your best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:03 PM
15

If a woman cheats, she does not love the man she cheated on, full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 01:32 PM
7

You do equal chores? What the heck is wrong with you?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 04:03 AM
12

Ummm, it seems both of the women in your family are of low character, time for you and your father to cut your loses.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 12:18 AM
1

Entitlement, hard economic times.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:37 PM
2

It is because of the possible child support in some jurisdictions. It is because of, why did he cheat? Was he a serial cheater, or did you shutdown the bedroom? Be honest. Would you threat his children like your own? If the above three are eliminated, then any man with children would find you a candidate.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:30 PM
4

The reality is that modern women are lazy and selfish, full stop. Emotional labour, unpaid labour, what a joke.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 11:43 PM
15

Isn’t it ridiculous that they only clean when people are at home? It is like a performance.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 11:42 PM
10

They do it all, so they can complain later, it’s that simple.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 11:40 PM
2

lol, the ex f’d the family friend, his wife, and four truckers passing through, lmao. You got off easy OP. Lmao. On top of this, she tried to say I was abusive to our pastor at the time, go figure.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 07:24 PM
3

Ummm, OP, you are the victim, she is gas lighting you. If you file, she will sway the narrative. OTOH, why are you putting up with so much bs? Just file.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 06:57 PM
5

Good Lord! She was on a mood stabilizer, and they they gave her ADHD med? That doctor was completely incompetent.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 08:14 PM
6

OMG OP, you never take a f’n cheater back, for the love of God! File, file, and then file again. Include adultery in the filing, even if it is a no-fault. You are depressed, because you took her back. Listen, she is a POS, and you damn well know it. Now act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 02:53 AM
1

Bud, menopause is an excuse woman use, it has nothing really to do with it over a long term decline.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 06:53 AM
5

“Lost herself” … ok, whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 06:51 AM
3

Ummm, OP never said it was to himself, he was talking in general terms. I’ll give you a few: not following parenting agreements, ignoring court orders, hiding income, etc. Society enables this on a woman’s part, but never ignores it if a man did the same.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 04:58 AM
-2

Time to tell your son the truth, your ex is a pos. She didn’t “forget”, she decided not to make your son a priority in her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 01:04 PM
1

Shouldn’t be. Women waiting to their 30s is asinine, and beyond stupid. Early 20s is the optimum time, but the majority of then would rather ride the carousel.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:50 PM
2

Your BIL wasn’t dumb to have a child at 52, it is a biological imperative. Now, if he picked the wrong woman, then he was dumb.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:48 PM
3

Buddy, my Dad was 43 when I was born. I was 45 when my first biological child was born (adopted previously). I don’t believe in this whole “I’m too old to be a Dad” bs, have you ever read about how old some fathers were in centuries past? We can father children into our seventies for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 03:46 PM
1

Exactly this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 12:31 PM
1

Document, then take her back to court to have it stricken from the agreement. Women rarely follow the parenting agreement, they see it as a set of rules for YOU. If the child is on “her time”, you refuse to leave work to deal with anything. That is her problem, not your’s.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 12:30 PM
4

Control, vindictive attitude.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 11:16 AM
8

As a “step-father”/LTR (not married), I spend more time managing my woman’s emotional arguments with her kids, than I do the actual subject that began the actual disagreement. On top of that, on any whim, the mother can revoke any authority granted, which sometimes results in me having to drop the hammer and say, either they do what their told, or they are out of the house. Toxic. Leverage is everything, but once married, a man loses all leverage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 11:14 AM
17

Any woman that says “bare minimum” is an immediate disqualification, with severe prejudice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 12:10 AM
7

Deny, deny, deny. Impossible to bind a Reddit username to someone in real life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 11:26 AM
5

Or they see it as you are willing to put up with a lot of bs. I still haven’t decided what the truth of the matter is.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:14 PM
4

And then there are the grandmas who were not over weight when you meet them, then start gaining once they lock you down.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 09:11 PM
8

BS, I have both children. I was “awarded” child support, at a grand total of $135/month. She has paid a grand total of zero dollars, and owes me thousands in arrears. Hasn’t given any income statements to the court, the $135/month is based on a text message slip up on her part. The female Justice in our case has not issued a court order (been over a year now) to garnish her wages. Let’s see a man try that type of bs and not get put in jail.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 08:40 PM
8

OP, additionally I want to say, you have a good mother. Tell her we said “hi”.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 06:00 PM
4

OP, it’s called consequences. Consequences need to be harsh, or they never learn. Maybe her next husband won’t get cheated on, though hopefully no one will take a chance on her. Yeah, well, she caused you brutal, agonizing pain. Ask God to help you to redirect it to something positive. I don’t fault you for anything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 05:54 PM
10

And a possibility it was never true at all. I have seen my daughter “morph” to attract one man versus the other. I am still trying to set her straight, if she wants a really happy life, but in this society, it is a losing battle. I told her, if she gets married, and cheats on her husband, I am helping HIM with HIS legal bills, and she is out of the Will. It’s called consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:46 PM
3

And don’t forget the possibility of Down’s syndrome with a geriatric pregnancy.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:42 PM
1

38? She most likely not getting any children, chances are low, she needs to accept that, even if you were willing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 02:41 PM
3

My response was “because she is a pos”, but then again I was the one that filed.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:18 PM
2

Obviously a whole package of screws are loose …
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:14 PM
4

Did she have a witness, or were you recorded during the situation?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:03 PM
17

Disgusting!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 09:00 PM
1

“Mental load” a fallacy as long as time.
/r/TheRedPill04/11/25 05:51 PM
1

No, she abused them by hitting them and screaming at them, but I have already dealt with that to the best of my ability. Many, many overdoses, many hospitalizations. I understand your point, but I indeed was a victim, and so were my children. I quite understand the advice to not be a “victim”, and I accept it, that it matters little in court. I have run it to the extent it will go. Lying in court is not really allowed though, if one can prove perjury, but it is often not enforced. Myself, I don’…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 09:05 PM
3

The fact that they all live with you should have negated any alimony you should have had to pay, talk about lunacy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:49 AM
3

I don’t. If she wants daycare, she pays for it. She is supposed to pay ME child support, but has not so far. If she enrolls the child in an activity on her time, she pays for it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:47 AM
2

In my province/state, the trust was set up to hold the proceeds from the equity that was in the house. It was created by the real estate lawyer. Your position of putting the equity into something that makes interest is wise. My one concern is somehow I will be pushed into a trial, which will cost $$, and will not be rewarded legal fees. Supposedly a trial date is on the November docket, but I have not received confirmation with respect to that. Dealing with someone that personality disordered, I…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 12:44 AM
2

Will be going after attorneys fees either way. Thanks for your input.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 11:33 PM
2

Very interesting observation. Yes I can, but the basket motion for the divorce decree has been sitting on the Justice’s desk for 6 months, I wonder if that is the reason why.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 09:22 PM
1

No, you handle it like a boss, and force as many consequences as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 09:18 PM
1

Bingo.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 09:17 PM
3

Hell no, told anyone that asked. Cheating women don’t deserve any sympathy. The only person I have not told the truth to yet is my youngest.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 09:16 PM
2

Exactly my thoughts. Let it rot, eventually she will spend everything she has, and become desperate.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 08:00 PM
2

I completely agree with everything you said. If you look at my previous posts, I got the parenting agreement done within the first year, the courts have no contact with the children any longer. I know what I am fighting with, but what I am asking is opinions on tactics to shut the BS down. I take it, your belief is just to stop participating. Issue is, there is $100k in trust, that I am entitled to completely, no argument about it. I need a Justice’s order to release it. There is low probability…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 04:59 PM
2

I can, but a trial will cost another $70k. A “completed settlement conference” “needs” to occur before that. The Summary Judgement motion was supposed to stop the downward spiral, but the Justice adjourned it, and demanded another settlement conference. So to push to trial, $8k for the settlement conference, $10k for another trial conference, and minimum $70k for trial. You see the dilemma. Besides the parenting agreement being sorted, I have gained nothing over the past two years, because of he…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 04:51 PM
1

If you don’t care about the equity in the house, default and walk. You can go the judicial route, but even if you get a judgement that she owes you more than what is her equity share, good luck collecting on that, she’ll just declare bankruptcy. Run the numbers, and see how you come out ahead. I am in this position. I went the judicial route, forced sale. All that time I was paying for EVERYTHING, even though I was not in the house, but had full custody of the kids. Now, what she owes me, exceed…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 01:43 PM
3

It is not rational, but it happens.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:20 PM
5

He IS the victim.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:19 PM
1

She is entertaining another man is my guess … file now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 02:24 AM
1

Whenever you want, the sooner the better.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 03:16 PM
3

You signed papers without legal counsel present? In my jurisdiction, that could be over-turned and classified as signing under duress.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 02:28 AM
0

Hell no, it’s called getting full decision making in court, and if that fails, do parallel parenting. No need to “co-parent”.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 06:57 PM
1

Is the boy biologically your child?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 06:56 PM
0

No, he has seen her true nature, now is the time to act.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 06:53 PM
10

You did something that mad her mad at a child that is both of your’s? What a f’n piece of work. Time to terminate this marriage with severe prejudice, she is an abusive pos.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 06:51 PM
2

Oh, trust me, it can still happen, especially if the stbxw’s lawyer “acts” like they are in a pro-litigation jurisdiction.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/25 01:13 AM
2

I absolutely agree with filing first. It also saved me from a very malicious, dirty narrative. OP, file first, and lay out the entire narrative ahead of her. Do not allow her to file first, or you are going to end up with an immediate TRO, and be kicked out of your house.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/25 01:38 PM
2

I would say NO. If she cannot take care of the child herself, she needs to give you more parenting time. If she refuses, she can pay for the nanny. Only fair.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 02:52 PM
11

She may think it affects child support. In some jurisdictions, certain things change. For example, in my jurisdiction, insurance will use the step-dad’s first, before the biological father’s if the children live at the step-dad’s residence. Twisted, but true.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 12:25 PM
4

Right, Inhave no idea why the heck he would care what was happening with the ex.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 01:41 AM
15

He should never have told his ex about his date, none of her business.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 01:40 AM
5

This really is a sad situation. “Marriage” is destroyed due to men’s laws, and has nothing really to do with the spiritual aspect of it. It really is sad when we witness the complete collapse of an institution.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:49 AM
1

OP, she just wanted you for the child, that is why everything change after he was born. You need to come to terms with that reality, anything else she says is a smoke screen.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:45 PM
-1

Biggest load of bs I have ever read on this forum.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 09:44 PM
1

Ummm, I have FULL legal custody, and decision making. In a situation like this, it would be given if a competent lawyer is involved. If you are confusing “parenting time” with custody, I could see the mother retaining some sort of visitation, but certainly not legal custody or decision making. In your case you had a sh*t lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:10 PM
1

I doubt that increased alimony would be awarded, especially if argued correctly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:07 PM
4

Camping as in a RV in a non-freezing environment? I doubt it. In a tent, yes In a RV, in a freezing environment, most likely.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:04 PM
3

Not is family court. Family court has a much lower bar to reach, and if someone cannot slam-dunk disprove an accusation that was filed first, then the Judge is more that likely to “err on the side of caution”.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:19 AM
3

This is why it is important to file first, it says the precedence on what is considered the “narrative”.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:16 AM
1

There is no such thing as “co-parenting”.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:47 AM
1

Actually, it is not. He is staying for the children. OP knows the alternative is worse all around, his ex can move out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:47 AM
2

Nothing OP has done is selfish, or narc’ish. If he put the divorce on “warp speed” I am sure someone would call him selfish and narc’ish as well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:45 AM
2

Op, yeah, no, you are not a narc. Just by staying to be close to your children proves otherwise. Just be careful she doesn’t try and frame you. A narc, in a divorce, does more than delay. They obfuscate, lie, slander and delay in order to cost you more money.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:40 AM
2

Just NO!
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:04 AM
-2

OP, you think you leading is planning date nights? Ummm, no. If she is a SAHM, she can plan the damn date nights.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:34 AM
2

Umm, take her back to court for more custody, she cannot uphold her end of the bargain.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:27 AM
1

It actually seems reasonable, what is crazy is her f’n behaviour.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:15 AM
1

Umm, no, she is trying to piss him off, so she can have evidence to get a TRO.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:14 AM
3

He wasn’t the angry one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 10:03 PM
4

Wouldn’t make a difference.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 10:03 PM
9

Return only as a strategy, record everything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 10:02 PM
7

OP, She’s cheating, or has someone lined up already. You are under no obligation to take that kind of abuse. She says “you can come back?” Damn right you can, it’s your f’n house.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 10:02 PM
2

Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 12:41 AM
3

Doesn’t matter, horrible behaviour deserves severe consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 12:40 AM
8

Whatever “change” she would want you to make, would not “fix” anything, it is solely an excuse for inside emptiness.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 05:32 PM
2

If all of this, child support and alimony was thrown on the welfare state, it would sure shutdown the legal circus show. Why a man should be responsible for a cheating, lying, pos stbxw if unbelievable in a logical sense. People lie, and people wear psychological masks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 07:41 PM
1

Correction, she is a very selfish person.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 04:00 PM
6

The ex did this, gave tons of dinners and expensive stuff to bf, but nothing to both children.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:37 PM
4

Not a chance, don’t need any bs cheater drama in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:35 PM
1

Give the cats to a shelter, not your issue to put up with.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 03:03 PM
4

Most men love hard and true. It was genuine from your side, because men are simple in that department. You think, “she committed, and said she loved me, what else do I need?” I think we all need to be reminded of what happened to Adam in the Garden of Eden. The “good” is what God intended, the bad behaviours come from the Spirit of Jezebel (rebellion against God and Man by women).
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 02:41 PM
2

Eh, more like she knows the one she left is more of a push over, and is more easy to manipulate into taking her back.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:12 AM
1

Bud, she doesn’t let you have more time, because it is all about the money for her. The more time you get, the less money she gets.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:09 AM
0

You did the wrong thing many times. Honest question, she was distant when money was tight, did it ever cross your mind she only valued you for your wallet? Could this be the trigger of your downfall? You should have divorced her back then, not cheated on her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 06:48 PM
1

Not really, just the cost of using it as a strategy will eventually hurt you more.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 02:40 AM
2

Cluster B is “grand entitlement” at the core.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 02:38 AM
1

They are both cluster B, and co-morbid a large percentage of the time, sometimes one is indiscernible from the other. Please do not downplay either.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 02:37 AM
1

OP, I just want to state, people indeed do bad things to hurt other people because they are selfish. You are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 01:14 AM
1

No one. I have talk some with a long-time friend, but not all the gory details.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 01:11 AM
3

You will never see a dime of it if you do, so please don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 01:07 AM
1

The system in the UK and North America is too open to abuse by someone not negotiating in “good faith”, that is for sure. I did nothing wrong, literally nothing, and yet I am left holding the bad financially. I have decided to consult another lawyer tomorrow, to at least get another opinion on how my current lawyer is handling things.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 01:06 AM
1

Then quit your job and let it all burn, or she gets a job and helps with HER spending.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 06:22 PM
12

Sure, if you have a woman that actually appreciates that and doesn’t treat you like a pos.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 06:21 PM
1

And that is just fees for my side btw, not her’s.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 02:21 PM
1

Yes, very straight forward after her “bad behaviour” was proven. No-fault etc divorce, I didn’t even file for the adultery, was all based on her lunacy. They are just dragging it out, forcing me to spend to move it forward. It is not a word of a lie, that a bad woman gets all the leeway in the world for bad behaviour. My lawyer is telling me I can be awarded costs, and have everything she owes turned into “child support” and garnished through the enforcement agency, but that is only IF the Justi…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 02:07 PM
3

Complacency in being “too comfortable” in a relationship? If so, don’t take that bs guilt in, a relationship is supposed to be comfortable, you are not an entertainment director. If she get bored, tell her where to go.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 02:01 AM
2

No, the issue is not communication. The issue is with the wife treating the husband like a pin cushion when she should be in counselling. Yes, you can dock him a point for marrying her in the first place, but that is beside the point.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 01:56 AM
4

You should have called her out in front of them: Unfortunately, mom and Dad, this is the exact reason I have to divorce the witch.”
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 01:54 AM
3

He absolutely needs emergency custody orders in place.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 01:47 AM
2

To give context, she has switched lawyers six times, so all the back-and-forth costs. Lawyers nickel and dime you to death. Filing the papers with the court, drafting all the forms, correcting your damn lawyers (unbelievable). In my jurisdiction, initial meeting before Judge/justice, then case conference, then settlement conference (her side never showed, had 2nd and canceled it, because they had yet to file ANYTHING, you still get charged by your lawyer when this happens), then goes to trial co…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 01:40 AM
1

Still does not hurt to do a DNA test.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 01:32 AM
1

We don’t take ownership of someone becoming our enemy, no thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 01:28 AM
5

It is your responsibility to take care of yourself, not your husband’s responsibility. If you don’t get off on your husband being inside you, then you are not in love with him, full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:04 AM
11

Sometimes it has nothing to do with him.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:58 PM
3

It is a mental illness, to project someone as perfect in every way, when they are not, then blame them for not being perfect. It is lunacy on 10.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:24 PM
2

b*tch
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:11 PM
1

4 inches taller for the older crowd, minimum 6 ft for the newer generations.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:09 PM
18

I assure you they do.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:01 PM
11

OP, she is 36 and you are 29? Come on. She used you for the baby, you need to realize that. Divorce here, and file for emergency custody orders immediately, 50-50 parenting time, and do not compromise. You go for 100% legal custody/decision making, because believe me, she will try and move “back home”. Never sign for a passport, never.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 08:27 AM
11

There is no way to fix “it”. Women can be generally “unhappy”.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 05:30 PM
0

She is trying to sabotage you, and is purposely making herself fat so you do not touch her. It is the insanity some women go through, when they are too lazy to deal with themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:11 AM
8

So she is saying you are trying to change her, but she changed herself by packing on a bunch of weight, and doesn’t want to do anything about it? I guarantee she would do it for another man. I also guarantee she would not give you the same consideration if you were the one that packed on weight.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:06 AM
1

And the child’s preference needs to be known to the court.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 11:58 PM
3

OP, you have to play the long game on this one. Do I believe you deserve “justice” in some form? Yes. Will you get it given the current state of the “laws”? No, at least not in the way you wish. Eventually she will mess up and realize her mistake, but don’t wait around for the results.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 06:19 PM
2

The only entitlement I read is in OP’s post.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 03:48 AM
2

You should be filing now OP, there is no reason to wait.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 03:46 AM
4

Porn issue after being rejected a billion times, or not intimacy? Then you are not the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 06:54 PM
4

Nada.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:23 PM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 11:51 AM
1

OP, I was in an extremely abusive relationship for almost 15 years, and have been separated for over three. The other in-depth comment about narcissistic behaviours is dead on. It seems you have some knowledge on the subject. In reality, he does not need to speak with the ex, that is what lawyers are for. He needs to instruct his lawyer to schedule trial to get this tied up. His ex is responsible for half of that tax debt, at least in my jurisdiction, so check with his lawyer. All communication …
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 05:25 PM
1

This is very true, especially in no-fault jurisdictions. I would tell your partner to instruct his lawyer to push for trial.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 05:19 PM
1

File for a psych eval of the ex. Consider taking the children to another location, and file for full custody. Yes, have the children testify against her lunacy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:36 PM
7

Worked in my case, I got 100% legal custody of both children, with the youngest having 50% parenting time with the mother.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 09:55 PM
11

They don’t want equal treatment, they want to crush you for spoiling their “fun”.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 05:57 AM
9

She’s having an affair, get a lawyer, ring her for all it’s worth. I have no pity for cheaters, neither should you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 05:52 AM
3

Right, we cannot make an unhappy person happy, no matter how hard we try.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 04:44 PM
2

And even if it didn’t, she should have went for help by now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 12:33 AM
3

That’s when I step in and tell their wives to stfu!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:07 PM
8

Mine wasn’t, but I digress …
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:04 PM
4

Only if you have leverage, and can walk.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 07:03 PM
12

They cheat due to bad character. The ex had flings with her bbf’s husband AND her bbf, and too convicted convicts. She also defended another friend’s pedo convicted husband … so, yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 06:59 PM
2

This is right, his adult children can pay for their own education.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 02:56 PM
1

Get another job.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 02:53 PM
1

You subpoena bank statements of her, and her parents.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 02:52 PM
2

Wait, he has $240k and wants to unalive himself? Geez, op, hell of a lot more than I got. My question still stands, why was the house not sold and split?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 02:51 PM
2

Secondly, why the hell is the house not put up for sale, and split?
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 02:49 PM
4

I don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 05:25 PM
3

“Lack of emotional connection “ is woman speak for she is not attracted to you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 11:23 AM
4

Just buy a new bed/mattress.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 03:48 PM
2

I don’t hate her, but I am done with her. In other words, I have zero patience for any type of tomfoolery, and I make sure she knows it. She lied, spent like a fool, cheated numerous times, among other things. The grace I had is non-existent now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 03:59 AM
2

A truer statement has never been spoken.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 02:44 AM
3

No, not in my case. It was about the money, always about the money. The only person stamped with an F on their forward was her. Trash person, trash mother, and trash “wife”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 02:26 PM
6

Sorry, no, more infidelity in the nursing world, avoid at all cost, including teachers and police.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:26 PM
9

OP, she made the distance, no you. She probably has a new beau lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:24 PM
3

She is a cheater, she belongs on the curb.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:53 AM
8

It’s called projection.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:34 AM
8

I truly believe there are a lot of women with sub-clinical cluster B traits floating around out there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:31 AM
2

OP, no one is “incredible” except Christ Almighty, give your head a shake.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 07:30 PM
2

You could have used that alimony to even the playing field in court.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 03:13 AM
17

A cuck is not a man that has been cheated on, it is a man that allows it to happen more than once. In other words, he divorces her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 12:16 AM
7

OP, like everyone is saying, lawyer YESTERDAY. No, you get half the house, do not concede.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:34 PM
3

He’s talking like a woman in my opinion, “emotional needs” …
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:07 PM
5

Wrong, he could have filed for divorce. Don’t promote flawed character traits.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:59 PM
2

He cheated, he has no moral standing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 09:59 PM
2

Trust, but verify. If somebody says that isn’t trusting, tell them to take it up with Reagan in the afterlife.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 08:38 PM
2

They lie to the therapist anyhow. I won’t tell how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 01:00 AM
9

Don’t forget selfishness.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 10:17 PM
5

Bud, they are mostly like this, doesn’t matter if they have their v-card at the beginning or not.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:37 PM
6

You look at your ex for what she is: someone with flawed character, a liar, an abuser, and trash.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:41 PM
1

No, absolutely NOT. The children have a right to know their parent is a piece of trash (in appropriate language for their age). Enough with this BS or not enacting consequences for cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:33 AM
1

Since there was intention of getting back together, tell the AP’s wife once assets are secured. Time for scorched earth.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:32 AM
1

Go to war sir, justice is waiting in the wings.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:31 AM
1

In some jurisdictions, years.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:29 AM
1

The govt authors the “contract”, so someone should be held responsible for breaking said contract.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:27 AM
2

OP, if there was no intention of getting back together, then the “separation” was a means to an end. OTOH, if she was saying she wanted to get back together, yes, tell the wife, otherwise no.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 03:25 AM
1

Because, usually, these new men are just interested is messy around, and not actually be part of the “family”.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 01:00 AM
3

“hurt the way they did” … they don’t know the meaning of the word.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 12:59 AM
8

You should have filed a petition of sole use of the house at the beginning of this. You should do this before she moves back in. In the best interest of the children, she is causing disruption in their lives. Change the locks, since she voluntarily moved out. Get that motion filed yesterday. You file for house abandonment and child abandonment immediately as well.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:03 PM
3

The ex has done the same to me. Nothing goes anywhere, especially settlement offers, even ones in her favour. There will be nothing left, all consumed by lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:16 AM
2

OP, he needs a damn good lawyer that will knock this bs down one by one. His one mistake was trusting her, and giving her the opportunity to blindside him. In hindsight, he should have filed first to establish the narrative. She most likely cheated, no woman acts that crazy with someone in her ear.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:13 AM
3

An anonymous wellness check perhaps?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 11:01 PM
3

I don’t think it has anything to do with the birth order, but more so the “culture” of the family.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 10:59 PM
3

Do it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 07:48 PM
3

OP, I am sorry you are going through this. There is nothing wrong with blaming the ex if she is the root of the problem. Blame belongs where it is deserved.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 07:21 PM
7

Never confront her in my opinion, always have her served, or you rush her filing false allegations to get the upper hand.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 03:06 AM
5

“Try to fix it”, translation: what are you going to do to make me happy?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 03:04 AM
2

Interview the women lawyers with respect to their opinion on affairs, especially with children involved. Gauge their answers accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 02:31 AM
1

Borrow money from family, or take a loan. You need a lawyer, don’t try and do this yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 02:29 AM
3

The only thing you can do is use leverage. You keep track of what she is doing. Any mess ups, any neglect, anything against best interest of children. If she messes up enough, you go for more custody. Long, long battle.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 04:08 PM
4

If the prospective woman cannot give a good reason for why she has sole custody, dump her *ss.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:16 PM
2

I do not believe this at all, the whole “nowadays” statement. Many men, through no fault of their own, end up with 20% custody. This is the default, I don’t care what anyone says. A man has to fight w blitzkrieg divorce in most cases to get 50% custody.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:16 PM
11

Trust me, she is NOT a good woman.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 06:51 PM
9

Until no-fault is done away with, it will continue as such.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:27 PM
1

No, but she will lose custody over neglect.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:25 PM
-5

No, you get a lawyer that will crucify her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:20 PM
8

Op, she is dx’d BPD, and you didn’t go for 100% custody? What were you thinking? Document, take her back to court for neglect, and get your son in a stable home environment before he is damaged beyond repair.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 07:18 PM
2

File first and ignore her, she is lying.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:06 PM
3

So you dock the cost of that patio set from her side of the settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:04 PM
9

So you sock the cost of that patio set from her side of the settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:04 PM
6

Can always strip out the video from the file.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 03:03 PM
2

If you have it listed for sale, then yes, if both sides agree, you can stay in the house, and pay the bills until it sells. The equity would then need to be divided.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 02:50 PM
2

That is exactly what she will do. You only need to provide bank statements if the court orders you to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 12:52 AM
-2

So what, seen Hillary, Biden and Obama lose their sh*t in public as well.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 12:19 AM
-1

Prove me wrong. He always puts his enemies in their places. I didn’t vote for the guy, but I give credence where credence is due.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 12:18 AM
2

Exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 12:17 AM
1

Sure, but he can make her life a living hell as well to make her a back of. Men needs to being a bunch of wusses and put their exes in their places, especially if she cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 12:16 AM
0

“wife” on paper only, they haven’t lived together for years, and he filed for divorce. Do you expect someone to wait 10 years if a jurisdiction allows it? Not everywhere is like Texas where you can get a divorce decree in two weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 05:36 PM
0

Do a critical analysis of your girlfriend/spouse, is she truly in it for you, or a pay day? Think about it. Too me, she is showing a major red flag, and you should dump her *ss.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 05:35 PM
1

When some jurisdictions could take 10 years to finalize a divorce, that expectation is unreasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 05:33 PM
0

OP was drawing a parallel with creating a stoic persona, I see nothing wrong with the post.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/25 04:47 PM
1

Christianity also says for wives to honour their husbands, but we all know how that goes …
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 11:10 PM
1

No truer words have been typed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 11:08 PM
1

50, divorce has been going on for 3.5 years at this time (process in Canada is TERRIBLE). Definitely worse off financially, but I have been able to finance out, and keep cash flow high. After the financials are settled, I will still have a lot of debt from lawyers fees, but should be able to refinance at a lower rate.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 09:51 PM
4

If she cannot support taking care of the children, you should be filing for 100% custody. The only thing you are doing is removing consequences from her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 05:37 PM
5

Everyone abandoned me after the ex cheated on me (multiple times) after 14 years of emotional and financial abuse. Even the church tried to “blame me for not trying harder”. I never got to the point of wanting suicide, but if I had no faith, I might have. OP, you post spoke to me on a deep level. Thank you for reaching out to that brother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 01:20 AM
1

They “feel” because they take on a sh*t load of “house work”, when nobody asked them to, or because her husband “doesn’t do it right”, then grow resentful over the standards THEY set, and nobody else.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 12:45 AM
2

Exactly this. OP’s gut was telling him she was cheating, or intending to cheat.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/25 12:38 AM
7

Doesn’t really exist.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:06 PM
1

She has a decision to make, or you can make it for her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 09:03 PM
8

OMG, the “bad advice” really drags out the process. Wastes money like no tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 02:48 PM
9

What a f’n train wreck of a person!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 02:47 PM
5

OP, she’s cheating, trust me. If not in person, online. Divorce accordingly, before she tries to frame you with false allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 05:10 PM
3

I suspect she would owe him alimony if it went to court.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 03:10 PM
5

WTH! You tried to get back with someone that said false allegations against you in court? Holy sh*t!
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 06:11 PM
3

Exactly this. OP needs to understand the “other man” has no idea what the truth is as to what happened, and is living on “bad intel”. Being a simp only makes it worse. The thing is, we cannot control what people do, and so we just need to let it go.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 02:08 PM
6

One word: entitlement
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 03:33 PM
1

All depends on what the Judge “feels” that day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:43 PM
3

Unconstitutional? Family court does not abide by the constitution, it is a “business court”.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:41 PM
1

Some places dole out quite the “baby bonus”. The children are cash bags, no other reason.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 03:37 PM
6

OP, it doesn’t matter what you want, it only matters what she wants, and she has made that abundantly clear. 1). She abandoned you. 2). She abandoned your children. 3). Your wife is an entitled nutcase. Stop being a push over. File first, and file for emergency custody, and exclusive use of the home. As soon as a damn lawyer gets their hooks into her, she will convince her to do terrible things, you must file first! You ignore my warnings at your own peril.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:44 AM
5

Tell her the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 02:31 AM
1

Get a transcript.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 02:26 AM
1

Same sh*t, different pile.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 04:55 PM
6

Yep, same here. $200k drained from retirement savings, and they accuse me of hiding money, yet for three years the ex has not provided her financial information to the court, and neither has the Judge ordered her to provide it (just asks her to do so for next time).
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 04:55 PM
6

OP, you go back home with your child and file for sole custody for your son, if she wants to galavant all over the world. You are the stable parent, she is not. Honestly, your wife is trash, treat her as such. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 04:36 PM
1

OP, you f’n nuts. Your wife certainly needs to lose weight IN TIME. No man should ever be obsessed with a woman, that is a recipe for disaster, and you are proving my point by emotionally cheating on your wife with your ex. That said, does your wife still provide affection to you? Does she treat you like sh*t verbally? If you answered ‘yes’ to either of these, then she most likely married you to get children, and doesn’t love you anyhow.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 09:56 AM
1

Great comment. I really like your idea of an adventure board.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 03:52 PM
1

I read a sign once that said, “I am always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t catch on fire.” Lots of truth in that for me :)
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 04:55 AM
1

He yelled at her for being disobedient, took her by the hand, and led her away.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 04:50 AM
1

OP, I know you feel “guilty”, but in a sane world, you did nothing wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 04:49 AM
1

It sure can be, I have seen it personally. It all depends on who picks up the phone at the time of the report.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 04:48 AM
1

For the nitwit who downvoted me, I sat on round table discussions with the local CPS. The stuff they do, and discuss are NOT the innocence you would suspect.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 04:47 AM
10

Unfortunately, women tend to lie in court ad infinitum, and get away with it, even if you disprove it. It’s “her truth” they say. The only thing you can do is an affidavit, and counter.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:44 AM
0

Happens all the damn time, educators call CPS on a whim to cover their @ss.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:37 AM
2

Get you 14yo out of there asap, and have her RO’d yesterday. Don’t even wait on this. Grab a lawyer and do it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 08:25 PM
1

Exactly!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 07:59 PM
0

So if you assumed the mortgage, she expects you to take payments from her?
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 07:58 PM
2

lol
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 07:54 PM
5

OP, I don’t condone you talking to that other woman, but I completely understand your desire for emotional connection. That said, your wife broke practically every single vow she said on your wedding day. Think about it. In my opinion, she is a fair weather Christian at best. Stop dropping yourself on a sword, she isn’t who you thought she was. Lastly, I don’t believe she was ever in love with you, she settled. Why? The depression. Don’t blame yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 03:42 AM
5

OP, none of this is on you, all the “emotionally unavailable” bullsht is just that, bullsht. She just got bored, through no fault of your own, and decided to blow your family up. Full stop. No, she doesn’t hope for reconciliation, she is using that to buy time to fleece you during the divorce. Don’t be stupid, file NOW, if you have not already done so.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 03:26 AM
5

And yet the ex in my life hasn’t disclosed anything to the court about her finances in three years, been chastised twice, yet the court will not order her to produce anything. Nobody can tell me the system isn’t meant to drain every last dime out of men.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 03:23 AM
1

What height?
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 03:03 AM
2

I never understood chewing through the equity in the house with lawyer fees, it affects both side, but stupidity seems to rule a lot these days.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 02:58 AM
2

And why didn’t she have to pay your attorney fees since she dragged it out? I know, because you are a “man” …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 02:55 AM
3

She just has to act dumb during the interview, and will get rejected.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 02:52 AM
4

I suggest the payments were agreed to under duress, and that he received poor legal counsel. Nothing wrong with throwing a lawyer under the bus.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 02:49 AM
6

She probably had a lot earlier than she told the children.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 02:46 AM
8

OP, that is not the reason, she is not happy with herself internally, and projects that into you. Women like this are like a bucket with a hole in the bottom, one can never fill it. Your approach is correct though, move on, but make sure you get 50% of everything, including parenting time and joint custody.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/25 02:38 AM
2

You did get screwed, that is a terrible outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 05:49 PM
1

Get a job at Walmart, at least you get benefits.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 05:48 PM
4

Oh she is, come on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 05:47 PM
2

OP, she is projecting her feelings of herself into you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 03:55 AM
2

Any man who wants to be a “cuck” on purpose, deserves the eventual disrespect of his wife.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 04:01 PM
1

You can leave the house with the kids for their safety. It will be much more difficult and getting her kicked out for their safety. The key thing is getting a lawyer involved immediately, and getting her charged.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:55 PM
1

Yes, you need to get her charged before she can plant allegations.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:53 PM
1

Get a lawyer. If you know she is driving like that, call the cops so she gets charged with a DUI. Only way to use it in family court. Trap her as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:51 PM
6

Never, her presence makes me want to vomit.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 10:43 AM
9

Yes, some even sided with her, even though she is abusive. Even church members, because “women are never the abuser”. Today’s society has no morals, it’s all about being “happy”. If I were you, cut them off.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 10:37 AM
2

She is cheating on you. At the very minimum she is having an emotional affair. Divorce her @ss.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 01:56 PM
2

OP, stop talking to her, and get a lawyer to file immediately, with emergency custody hearing, and exclusive use of home. Have childcare ready. Under no circumstances do you let her file first. You can leave the house with the child if absolutely necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 01:17 AM
3

OP, stop talking to her, and get a lawyer to file immediately, with emergency custody hearing, and exclusive use of home. Have childcare ready. Under no circumstances do you let her file first. You can leave the house with the child is absolutely necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 01:17 AM
2

Court doesn’t care, because she is a “woman”. The ex was the same, and she was diagnosed professionally with all of these. The ex still takes sleeping pills when she has our youngest that she is allowed to parenting time with. What happens if there is a fire, or a break in? Everyone tells me: You have to wait for that to happen. Seriously, our courts are filled with jesters.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:14 PM
3

She can just quit, nothing you can do about it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:53 AM
0

How you cannot see the damage feminism has done to society, then you are blind. How about doubling the work force, and effective halving salaries? There are not enough jobs to support everyone working, because infinite growth is a fallacy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:52 AM
1

Women do not appreciate SAHD men. That said, I was a SAHD for the youngest, because I worked full-time from home. She was still there, but did nothing, literally nothing. I have full legal custody of the children, and am the designated primary parent.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:47 AM
0

She is not “sacrificing her career”, it was a choice she made. It is a damn privilege to be a SAHM, and should be treated as such. BTW, I did get injured, she decided to cheat because of it. Give your head a shake.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:43 AM
2

Yes, and in hindsight, I should have said “no”, but I was socially pressured to marry, but it is no excuse.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 03:38 AM
0

She is not “sacrificing her career”, it was a choice she made. It is a damn privilege to be a SAHM, and should be treated as such. BYW, I did get injured, she decided to cheat because of it. Give your head a shake.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:08 AM
1

The thing is, you have zero recourse. She can say all she wants to butter you up, but never go back to work. It is not like you can force her to get a job.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:07 AM
1

The ex did this to me, beyond her abuse, she claimed she was disabled from working, yet refused to fill out disability paperwork.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:02 AM
-3

Wealthy by family, not earning it themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:01 AM
2

OP doesn’t want to recognize the obvious.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:00 AM
8

Her lawyer knew the judge, full stop.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 11:55 PM
1

You only communicate via OFW, full stop. If she texts, you ignore. If she calls, you ignore. You force compliance. You follow up on ofw if you need a response. This creates a paper trail.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 03:15 AM
1

Brother, the idea of a “state marriage contract” is relatively “new” since the 1800s. I have seen stats stating evangelical divorce at a higher rate than non-believers. I have no issue with “marriage blessed by the church” but I have major issues with the “state marriage contract”. Biblically speaking, “marriage” was considered to occur after sleeping with someone. There are no other verses to back up anything anywhere more complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 01:44 PM
1

The “govt contract” hasn’t always existed, but people seem to avoid explaining that. I have no issue with “spiritual marriage” but signing that contract, without leverage, is a terrible idea.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 01:37 PM
1

“Bang maid” what a stupid label. Is this some hit on SAHM? If so, who the hell wants a daycare to raise their children? How to it make sense to pay another woman to watch your children while the woman in your life “works” outside the home? It is plan insanity from a financial perspective. That said, it seems the verse in Revelation is about right nowadays, where “wrong will be seen as right, and vice versa”. The ex wanted to be a “modern woman”. I was primary caregiver, even though I worked full…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 01:22 PM
4

Nah, not in my opinion, 99% of the time marriages end because the woman is “unhappy”. There, fixed that for you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 10:07 PM
1

Threw it in a river.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 01:58 PM
15

Demand the house be sold. If they won’t order it, default the damn mortgage. Default the car loans, get them repo’d. Cut the internet, cut the cable, cut extra cell phones. Quit the 2nd job, get a note from your doctor that it is not sustainable to do so, and is ruining your health. Do not take on debt to sustain her on any level.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 10:24 PM
1

OP, you stop laying her full stop, and you default the mortgage on the marital home. Why should you continuously go into debt to pay for her extravagant lifestyle? You need a new lawyer, and a new judge. At the very least, you need to force the sale of the home.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 01:24 PM
1

Default the house, problem solved .
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 01:21 PM
8

No, OP, you blitzkrieg the living sht out of her. You demand psychological assessment, and you go for full custody, and don’t you dare back down. You tell her you will not relent, and you will fight to the very last dime. You refuse to return the kids due to your fear of her abuse. You demand the judge forces otherwise, and go on record objecting to it due to her psychological instability, and the best interest of the kids. You chant “best interest of the children” over and over. Do not relent. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 12:08 AM
2

OP, you go for full custody, primary parent, and get her paying child support. File for exclusive custody, and sole use of the marital home. That’s what you need to do. Act now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 03:14 PM
2

Older=stability
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 02:43 PM
5

You people have been “polluted by society”. My spouse is the same age as me, so don’t think I am into this, but 20y age gaps used to be the norm, for a variety of reasons, especially financial stability. Additionally, women’s minds are childish and run on high octane “feelings”. Protecting them from themselves is necessary for a good long-term successful relationship. Unfortunately, society is so stupid at this point, nobody wants to recognize this glaring fact any longer. Age gaps in relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 02:41 PM
1

True, with one exception, you state her kids are no more important than your’s, and the kids certainly do not come before the adults in the relationship. You demand compliance, and if she objects, you are done. Any situation you are placed 2nd, you are done. If the “kid” is 18 and causing trouble, you kick them the hell out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 04:05 PM
3

If done to a woman …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 05:48 PM
1

According to court …
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 05:48 PM
1

OP, he needs to be pull from all sports, and forced to concentrate on his grades. Your ex is a moron. Get CPS involved if necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:48 PM
7

The ex keeps adding to her list of demands, because her lawyer and friends are a bunch of dumb*sses. I already spent enough on litigation. The rest can rot in a trust, and I will happily pay interest to the bank to cover all the debt I had to assume to get a new mortgage. She can continue to rent and throw her money away, she already blew through $75k in trust money, no more.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:32 PM
1

OP, she has no financial literacy. You either accept it, or you don’t. As a compromise, is there such a thing as a spousal 401k in the states? If so, that would give you reassurance she is not spending retirement. Maybe require two signatures to withdraw. Remember that all that debt you are responsible for in divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:26 PM
3

“Women things”. Nails, hair, skin treatments. All expensive and all “hidden”. “Gifts” for affair partners. “Gifts” for her friends. Easily done.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:23 PM
7

Just because you “co-parent” doesn’t mean you need to talk to her, at all. Consider “parallel parenting” instead.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 11:19 PM
1

Actually, the system will not force her to do anything, especially in Ontario. She can drag it out forever and cost him $100k before he ever see trial. Don’t spread false hope.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 06:10 PM
1

You need to having her income imputed to her education level. Pay for a vocational study if she has any higher education.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 06:08 PM
1

You have to both legally agree on a date if you didn’t officially file the separation. Since you both don’t agree, your filing would take precedence (I think). Time to get a lawyer. And btw, you should file now when your business is NOT DOING WELL.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:44 PM
2

Guys, you need to stop blaming menopause, it is only a complicating factor. What you are all dealing with is entitlement and “unhappiness”. The problem is HER not you guys.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 01:37 PM
2

Great comment.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 01:08 PM
2

OP, full stop, you need to file first. Your ex IS NOT a good mother, get that through your thick skull. No good mother would do things like this, I am shocked she wasn’t charged with child endangerment. You need to go for 100% legal decision making, and go for 100% physical custody. Settle at 80/20 in your favour if you “have to”. You want supervised visitation for her at first. You want a temporary R/O. You want exclusive use of the home. Emergency orders straight away. You need to file based o…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 12:32 AM
2

Why the heck would you ever allow yourself back with someone that demanded a divorce? You are sacrificing yourself over someone’s whim.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:56 PM
1

Given the selfishness in current society, it is projected the actual percentage is approximately 15%, and as your state, more likely to be female. My ex was diagnosed BPD, and bipolar 1. If was a harrowing experience that I doubt I will ever completely get over.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:47 PM
2

I can assure you your ex doesn’t have a literal clue what an actual narc is.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:43 PM
4

You should have said, “Yes, I am denying your sense of theatre.”
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:41 PM
2

Because your grandmother knew her place, and so did your grandfather. It is as simple as that. Your grandmother would have never dared to give unbridled attitude towards your grandfather, because she respected the lifestyle he provided to her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:39 PM
3

That is called gas lighting.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:35 PM
28

She’s most likely cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 08:33 PM
-8

Their libido is never low when they are with a man they are truly attracted to. Women having low libido is a myth.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 04:39 AM
1

She needs to be medicated, and most likely heavily.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 06:49 PM
1

No, it is usually the woman who dates low-life’s post divorce in my experience.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 05:22 PM
1

Unfortunately no.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 05:21 PM
1

Bingo.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 05:18 PM
2

Having a “highly educated woman” according to “today’s standards” increases the likelihood of divorce. It is a double edge sword.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 05:16 PM
1

Why the heck are you working two jobs? She makes $180k in the industry? Shouldn’t she be paying the lion share of things? Impute her damn income.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 03:05 PM
6

I blocked all communication, except OFW. She has no choice.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 05:37 PM
1

I prefer DSM4, 5 has overly political edits.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 04:30 PM
2

There is evil in this world. Don’t add more to it. There is righteous anger, and you use that to drive you forward. Realize your ex is a piece of trash if she has done things that go against you in an evil way. When you realize have zero control over your person, especially when no children are involved, you have reached the next level. When you realize most women act like “grown up children” you then act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 12:34 PM
9

Nope, family court is about “feelings” not proof.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 08:53 PM
1

Is the constantly being negative towards you? What is her childhood like, traumatic? Never offer “double child support”, you are not taking into account the cost of living these days.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/25 12:33 AM
11

Wait the two months.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 11:03 PM
1

You should of put a limit on the distance she can move from your residence. My parenting agreement prevents the ex from moving further than 25 miles from my address.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 09:42 PM
1

Correct. Women’s lawyers lie through their teeth, because they get away with it. OP’s lawyer should have indicated to the court that everything opposing counsel said was outright lies with no basis in fact, and demanded the court stick to the material submitted to the court (I.e. not throwing sh*t affidavits up on the bench that would never be accepted normally). Everyone needs to understand that Lawyers are not under oath.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:26 PM
-7

Downvoted for being a AH.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:22 PM
2

At the very least, he would be out of the ex’s orbit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:07 PM
3

To-mat-o, To-ma-to
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 12:06 PM
2

Or you were beyond selfish and started cheating on him.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 11:25 AM
12

OP, she is dragging it out, at the very least, cheating most likely. You need to file, like yesterday. If cheating will affect the outcome in your jurisdiction, get a PI to follow her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 11:22 AM
3

Honestly, no, you are not over reacting at all. I will say it seems your daughters are a bit entitled, but so are the vast majority of teenagers these days. If they cannot remember one day from the entire year, definitely disrespectful. To have their mother cover for them is even worse imho.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 06:46 PM
2

In my jurisdiction, bifurcated is called “severing the divorce from the settlements”. Mine is in progress, as well as a court order to force the ex to pay child support (she is over 20 grand behind). She refuses to settle the financials, without reopening the parenting agreement (ain’t going to happen). Lawyers just want to drive this towards a trial, which will involve two conferences prior, and about $90k additionally. This ain’t going to happen. I either wait her out until she spends everythi…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:29 PM
2

Nice how the judge deemed it “not abuse”. Such a low bar set for women accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:11 PM
2

It was because she was a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:04 PM
2

The issue is his ex can walk away from something settled within mediation, and cost him big $$ for nothing. In these types of situations, mediation is pennywise and pound foolish.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:03 PM
6

OP, I. The case of contentious or abusive relationship against yourself, you must file first, otherwise the abuser will spin the tail that YOU are the abuser.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 12:59 PM
1

Exactly this. Anyone that has downvoted you is a spineless pansy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:36 AM
12

What is the point of “chasing” someone who says they love you, but never wants intimacy? None. This is why men just give up, we can only be rejected so many times.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:22 AM
8

This is why at-fault divorce should exist, and that the cheating wife would lose child custody as well imho.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 03:19 AM
2

First, did she have legal counsel? If she did, she is sunk. Oppose with severe prejudice, and do not give in.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 04:37 PM
1

OP, if you are leaving her, you need to get a psych eval done on her. She needs to be on meds if it is that bad. If she is deemed “mental” you need to go for full custody. If she is disabled, she needs to be on Govt assistance, not just relying on you, because that ain’t fair, you are doing above and beyond. If her “condition” is all fake, then it will “magically disappear” if the court becomes involved.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:50 PM
2

You divorce them with severe prejudice.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:53 PM
6

OP, ignore what she says, and tell your lawyer you want 50/50 and make this the hill to die on. She is doing it for the money, always remember that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:10 PM
1

Some jurisdictions do not make the distinction.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 04:49 PM
1

Prenup, fully detailed. All assets are defined as the one who brings them. Pension/retirement funds accounted for. No co-mingling of finances. Leverage you have, no children with her, you can walk at any time. This leaves the marital home. If you paid it off in your name, include it in the pre-nup. If you buy it together, make it the only asset to split.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 04:48 PM
2

Exactly this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 04:24 PM
2

The issue is that one parent decided, by themselves, to stay home. It is not in most cases the “husband” forced the “wife” to stay home. In most cases, the woman quits her jobs and informs the man he is now responsible for everything, and he has no recourse.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 04:19 PM
7

Can you imagine the amount of DV charges filed by women if this was true for “abuse”?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 04:15 PM
0

Once a cheater, always a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 10:48 PM
2

“Bare minimum”. == she wants to do nothing, and you take all responsibility and expense, and do it with a smile.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 04:24 PM
2

You are lucky you won out during the second gamble. I am not taking any further risks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 04:22 PM
1

You have a court order, you can force list it, talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 07:16 PM
4

You tell her NO, and you are selling. She would do the same the other way around, guaranteed. She is dragging this out because she knows you are in a hard place financially, and hopes you will settle unfavourably once you are desperate.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 07:14 PM
25

OP, everyone here is saying to get 50/50. You are staying at home, and watching that child, she works. You go for 80/20 (in your favour) is my opinion, and go for max child support from her. File for spousal support as well, even if you will not win it, to put her in her place. Your ex is a cheating pos, and the less time your child spends with her, the better, in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 01:15 PM
2

She has another man already, or in the wings. Holding modern women accountable is like kryptonite to Superman. Be done with her, and take your time before getting involved with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 10:29 PM
1

Custody evaluator ruled in my favour, there is hope.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 09:57 PM
1

You are enabling an addict, divorce her with extreme prejudice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 09:26 PM
1

No, a week tops. She has no intent to sign it, that is obvious, unless forced by a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 12:43 AM
4

“Support or help” around the house, what a pathetic woman.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 01:52 PM
19

OP, you can’t make modern women happy in general. You did NOTHING wrong, and I tell you that with fortitude. No giving her “support” is the biggest cop out. Women are like children nowadays and should be treated from that point of view. You expect you to be their therapist, child care provider, money provider for everything, best friend, and Harlequin Romance stud. It isn’t even remotely possible or sustainable. You’re a man, stop living in your feelings, know that you are not responsible, she i…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 01:43 PM
3

Definitely lazy on so many levels.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 01:49 AM
4

$75k so far and counting, good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 01:34 AM
2

You need a post nup.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 01:14 AM
4

OP, time to get a post-nup in place, pronto!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 01:13 AM
6

Society doesn’t care, you’re a man, why would you expect different?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 03:28 AM
5

The switch always goes back and forth depending on who has the leverage. Your ex could only mask for so long, then the mask dropped.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 12:58 AM
2

Not that you want to cross your mental line from friends to relationship, but 12 years younger is “nothing”. She is almost 50, she can chose who beds her. With that said, even though alimony could be expected until 75, do they not take your retirement into account? Does it not drop drastically once you retire?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 02:33 PM
2

Your lawyer seems to be worth every dime. Blitzkrieg the ex like there is no tomorrow, real piece of work.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 11:56 AM
13

“There are no good guys out there that they are attracted to.” Translated that for you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 09:54 PM
7

Exactly what others are saying, email everything. I had verbal agreement with ex, for the two couches in the house. She took mine afterwards, because she “changed her mind”.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 01:17 PM
6

OP, she is snow balling you. Find another lawyer that is fair and legit. Keep your emotions in check. Women are 5x more neurotic than men, so even a man slightly raising his voice is going to come off as negative in a room of women. Lastly, record if legal in your state. Go pro if necessary, own room, stay locked in there. If children involved, when you have them, leave the house with them so she has no “oversight” of your time with them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 09:28 PM
4

What everyone said, and this time, keep your emotions in check.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 05:29 PM
1

You entice her to change it, by offering more money, if you care about it. If she cheated, then you shame the sh*t out of her on top of it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 02:01 PM
11

They don’t love their kids, they just see them as “money bags”.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 01:08 PM
1

In my jurisdiction, you can petition the court to severe the divorce free process from the financial and parental settlement. You can also file what is called a Summary Judgement which is used to force a decision on a particular subject. It all depends what is the more affordable route to take. Where I am at, a trial will cost to $85k all in.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:31 PM
1

They all do it OP, because they don’t respect us. The only thing to do is document, and take her back to court when ready.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 03:15 AM
6

Make sure that baby is your baby, get a DNA test asap.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:04 AM
3

I was, including my eldest. After she screamed at our youngest for the third time, I made my mind up.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 09:42 PM
6

She will not get a relationship out of any of them worth mentioning.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 03:01 PM
9

In this society, yes there is. I call it sub-clinical BPD. Too many women, sleeping around, and causing trauma bonds to the point they go nuts in the upstairs department. Narc’ish behaviours spurned on by social media.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 04:43 PM
-1

She never loved him, she used him for the money.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 01:48 PM
-1

Exactly, these other commenter’s are missing the damn point. It was HIS money, from sh*t directly related to him. The stocks tanked, she went stupid, and filed divorce. She was only in it for the money, and settled on him. She can rot for all I would care.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 01:47 PM
-4

His money, you missed that major point.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 01:44 PM
2

OP, unless you were physically abusive, or cheated, nothing you did literally contributed to the dissolution of your marriage. Too many men take the laundry list of “things they did wrong” according to their ex to heart.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 02:58 AM
1

Unfortunately, it most likely will not affect her relationship with her kids, society doesn’t allow it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 12:32 PM
3

Same here, 44, but I can recognize my lack of energy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:42 PM
3

Your concern about having children younger, than older, is valid. You have more energy when younger. You will have ZERO issues finding a woman that wants children in your age range. The issue is finding a woman that truly wants YOU.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:41 PM
3

OP, jazz ChatGPT to challenge her, but don’t go overboard. I would never confront her, but I would seed ChatGPT to challenge her. Seed it with all the cheating information, her lack of character, etc. Is it possible to do that without her seeing the data you input? I think it would be hilarious.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 12:45 PM
2

Eh, depends how much your freedom is worth to you. I do agree with your lawyer, but you should REALLY drive home to the stbxw that you are not going after alimony, that is major. You will go through the difference in legal fees, so maybe meet her half way? Since it is community debt, if you go to trial, that $50k-$80k is going to be completely burned up.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 08:47 PM
10

OP, have you taken her to court for changing his school? What about the other violations. Documents everything, and go to court to have her ability to make important decisions away from her. That said, you have two options; fight or walk away. If you fight, you need to make it like money doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 04:28 AM
3

Don’t forget to make sure the daughter is not acting like a spoiled brat. It happens more than we want to admit. 99% of marital issues start from an entitled attitude from the woman involved.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:38 AM
1

How do you know it ain’t your daughter that needs the improvement? 99% of issues in a marriage are because how a woman “feels”. Feeling ain’t facts sir.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:36 AM
2

How about not get married, to save the poor sap in case she becomes “unhappy”?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:34 AM
1

Put your “wife” in her place, and tell her to smarten up, or move the hell out. Did your “wife” ever state why she doesn’t like him? Jealousy perhaps?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:33 AM
11

Sexless 10 years, but three young children? How does that happen?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 10:41 AM
12

You put her through school, she should be paying you back for her tuition, considering the timing is suspicious. Your lawyer should be pursuing this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 10:10 PM
13

I’ll just drop the truth here, these people you refer to as “avoidant” are people with severe mental health conditions, and most likely personality disorders.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 02:03 PM
4

OP, you need to press charges to the full extent of the law, and go for full custody. You are down playing what this terrible woman has done. I disagree with the vast majority here, you would be doing those children a favour by excluding the mother as much as possible. She is an unstable train wreck, keep her away. 80/20 parenting time, in your favour, at a minimum.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 01:39 PM
1

support
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:20 PM
9

Hell no!
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:18 PM
1

OP, so you need to take her back to court, and file for more custody, based on the fact she is unable to take care of the child during her time. You DO NOT pay her a dime unless ordered to, and you shame the sh*t out of her for not putting the best interest of her child ahead of her unfounded animosity for your mother. Don’t jerk around on this, you hold her feet to the fire, unrepentantly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:15 PM
2

That is not right, behave not legal, there should be a way to appeal based on judicial bias. Any judge worth their salt would over-turn should overturn the decision.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 04:04 PM
3

No, that is not correct. The arbiter should have hired out for a third eval, and forced you and your ex to each pay for half of it, and it be from an independent evaluator.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 01:51 AM
3

Then you tank the business, declare bankruptcy, start at zero. At least you will not be stuck in the negative. Did they not use three years of earnings as a average? That is what is generally done.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 01:49 AM
8

Two things a man should never be to a woman: a therapist, or a long-term care-taker for “suspect” issues.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 05:56 PM
4

Time to get a new lawyer. If her side drags sh*t out, and it sounds like they do, you can do the same … I have been doing this almost three years now, provided everything, multiple court appearances, orders, and other side has provided NOTHING, you read that right. You know what happens? Court appearances: Her lawyer: He has provided nothing! My lawyer says I have provided everything. Judge gives court order FOR ME to provide what I have already (three times now) and give HER a slap on the wrist…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 12:52 AM
5

So is the house considered a “matrimonial home” in your jurisdiction? You need a window for access to that house to get your belongings, with the cops present to supervise. Talk to your lawyer about this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:55 PM
1

You state she is mentally ill. To what degree are we talking about, is she abusive? Do you feel like just a wallet? Has she cut off all emotion and intimacy with you? OR are you just so stressed you cannot handle things?
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 01:49 PM
8

OP, she has cheated on you, full stop. Don’t let her or anyone tell you otherwise. Maybe not physically, but certainly emotionally and mentally. You strike fast and hard. Like an armoured division across open terrain, and take absolutely no prisoners, and show no mercy. File immediately, and for exclusive use of the matrimonial home. God does not take infidelity lightly. She should be ashamed of her actions, and she should be shamed by the church. If your church is not willing to do so, you need…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 07:34 PM
11

Defamation lawsuit? You caused you to be fired.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 03:36 PM
7

Idle hands belong to the devil’s handmaiden.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 04:54 PM
15

Don’t forget self-centeredness, greed, and entitlement. Many women in our pasts have gone through menopause, without divorcing their husbands.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 04:52 PM
7

Bingo, top reply.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 06:45 PM
20

She has someone else lined up, mark my words. Either she is already cheating, or after the divorce is done, a new beau will pop up “quickly”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:06 PM
3

If it was “just family court”, then you are not “convicted”. You need to strategize to “prove her wrong” because “family court” will use this against you. You might even consider a motion for change of judge, because this seems errant to me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 11:25 PM
2

I remember reading that any child under the age of 7 is easily to sway. Repeating something a minimum of six times is enough to turn them against a parent.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 10:48 PM
1

The ex violated the parenting agreement, I have 100% decision making. Got a prescription, filled it, and administered against my will, by lying to a doctor. Court doesn’t give a sh*t since it was only one time. You are unlikely to get anywhere unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 05:06 PM
1

OMG, this is hilarious. In a good relationship, you still need to do some of these things to keep them jumping.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 11:55 PM
7

Your ex needs to see a shrink …
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 11:44 PM
5

Nah, these women are mental ill…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 11:44 PM
16

No “alpha” 30ish is going to bed a 50ish cougar, that is strictly beta behaviour, albeit not continuing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 11:43 PM
7

Similar here. Ex ended up with an unemployed street bum, with a criminal record.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 03:27 PM
4

OP, you separate all your finances, cancel any joint accounts and credit cards. If she is secondary in your credit card, cancel it. Consult a lawyer, and have a divorce filing ready. Install cameras in and around the house. You tell her you are f’n done. You tell her she needs to start respecting you, and get back in her lane. You tell her if her attitude doesn’t change fast, her ass will be hitting the pavement hard on the way out the door. If you suspect there is infidelity going on, you tell …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 02:21 AM
4

They do know what they are doing. If you have a dead bedroom, it is solely HER fault, no matter what anyone says (unless you are withholding).
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 02:15 AM
4

Ma’am, he is a cheater, he blew your vows right out of the water. You are no longer spiritually married, only legally, at least that is my perspective after the ex, so called born again Christian, slept with 5 people, on four different occasions. Once was with a couple from the faith of Islam. See the insanity in all that? Anyhow, ma’am go for maximums, hold fast, and I pray you are able to heal from the betrayal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 09:26 PM
8

OP, you have her income imputed to her masters degree level. That is what you do when someone refuses to work. File now, and move it like a juggernaut. Why the heck did you bail her out? You obviously were not thinking straight. This would have been completely over with if you stood your ground then.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 11:40 AM
8

Always tell the truth. You can sure believe I made sure the older children knew the ex was a multi-time cheater and pathological liar. The younger ones? Minimal “truth”.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 02:48 AM
3

She became selfish is what happened. She did want to participate in anything you found to be gratifying.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 11:39 AM
1

Men should never marry a woman that “did all that in college”.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 11:38 AM
3

You nailed it. This is why men say women act like children. The reason women hate when men say that, is because they know the vast majority of women act this way. God put men as the head of the family for this reason.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 11:37 AM
14

Because they “settled” for you, got what they “wanted”, and now have you trapped with child support and possible alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 11:28 AM
1

She won’t be alone, I will guarantee that.”
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:32 PM
2

You don’t need to co-parent, you do your thing, ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:31 PM
7

Pretty much the same with me, but the ex was certifiable as well.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:30 PM
5

Those insecurities were not caused by your ex, the root cause was YOU.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:27 PM
6

No. Boring (mediocre) people get border. “Boring” is the norm, and for anyone to think otherwise, needs their head examined.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 07:26 PM
1

Most narc won’t allowed to be dx’d, it is counter-intuitive to them. In reality, if a man says “no” to a woman, she will frame him as a narc sooner or later.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:16 PM
2

Nah, they are both the same. LTR live-in and marriage are the “same” in my books.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:10 PM
4

If it was a dead bedroom, and she was not cheating, then that is solely on her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 11:08 PM
1

I don’t think homeschooling is done “properly” without a Dad being involved to limit the insanity.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 06:43 PM
7

Then you are not really the definition of a “Disney dad.”
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 06:41 PM
1

“Love language” talk is just a book. In general terms, I can see the points, but a woman that really loves you will always want to do what YOU want to do.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 11:59 PM
3

Oh, but they want “equality”. I say give it to them. If a woman is such a dunce that she thinks she doesn’t have to do “anything”, she ain’t worth keeping.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 11:25 PM
9

You fight for 50/50 custody, right down to the last penny. You file first, to set the narrative. Make sure she is imputed for income, and don’t you dare give a penny more than required. She betrayed you on a visceral level, she is a piece of garbage, and deserves zero respect. You need to treat her as such. Trust me, been there, done that, and from Ontario Canada. They are not in school yet, there is no agreements in place, so there is nothing preventing you from moving to a more affordable area…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 03:40 PM
2

OMG, that judge is a pos.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/25 04:18 AM
11

Holy smokes man, you need to file. Forget the details, take her for alimony and child support, sole custody. Btw, she is not a good mother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 02:38 PM
2

Zero accountability, and never take responsibility. Most of them act entitled, and like children.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 03:53 AM
7

Of course she cheated OP, to think otherwise is denying reality.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 11:40 PM
8

OMG, serious red flag there.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 06:12 PM
1

That when you bring the MIL on board in your defense.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 12:40 AM
1

Bud, it is just common courtesy, stop lamenting over boundaries. You should have went to the pharmacy, got your inhaler, ask her you forgot something for her to have to go in and get, then left her there.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 12:20 AM
2

Too much YouTubing bud … if you get to the point t where you have to say ‘no’, the ship has already sailed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 12:17 AM
3

Good God OP, $4k is piss in a bucket. Wait until you get over $50k in legal fees, then you can complain. I am currently pushing $70k.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 10:51 PM
1

That won’t go anywhere, the lawyer and his ex will just laugh in their face.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 10:50 PM
3

Why the heck did you move out and still pay for everything? That was a major mistake. You should have defaulted the mortgage, you would have been further ahead I suspect.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 10:49 PM
3

Eh, though I agree no-fault divorce was a terrible “invention”, I don’t believe eliminating it would fix anything. Men would be stuck in miserable marriages, no respect, no intimacy, etc. I would prefer to keep no-fault, eliminate alimony completely to hold women accountable for their choices, and set child support to a quarter of the going rate. Why? Modern women view relationships today as completely transactional, giving them a reason to “keep their man happy” would go a long way in solving t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 12:10 PM
8

Sexual harassment? More like she is cheating OP.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 08:37 PM
2

You are only not rid of her, because you refuse to be.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 06:47 PM
6

No he doesn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 06:47 PM
7

All the posters down playing the significance of her behaviour are deluded. It is a parental alienation tactic used by women. At one point, it will come on heavier, and she will try and convince the children to stay with her full time, in order to garner more child support. OP, you need to be wary of this. Try and keep your household “top secret” and ask the children not to reveal details to her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:57 PM
1

As soon as you officially “split”, everything you posted will go down the river. You are deluded if you think overwise.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:53 PM
2

OP, it is an alienation tactic. She is attempting to bribe the children to stay with her 100% of the time, so she can screw you over on child support. This is the reality of the situation, do not brush this off.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:52 PM
2

He should not even acknowledge anything about her house. Of course she is trying to compete in order to bribe the children to stay with her full time, it is exactly what women do. It is a parental alienation tactic. OP needs to completely ignore that she exists, plain and simple.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 03:50 PM
1

You were “emotionally abusive” because you believe it or because she said so?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 02:35 PM
1

Unfortunately, RESP and RRSP accounts are divisible. The only thing you have on your side is to shame the sh*t out of her to prevent her going after the children’s RESPs. Once a RESP if withdrawn from, the grants and bonds will be clawed back, never to be given again, even if your ex deposits the exact amount of funds into a RESP that she set up. The system is disgusting.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 01:57 PM
4

OP, women with personality disorder are a hot mess, and nothing is past being done by them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 12:48 AM
1

OP, these numbskulls here preaching “co-parenting” have no frame of reference. I do, feel free to text me any time, though my response make not be quick.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 10:23 PM
1

Hell NO! You, sir, are enabling abuse, and OP, should do everything in his power to upend it. You have no idea of what you speak of, stand the heck back.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 10:20 PM
1

It isn’t about being a team player when a ex of dubious character is involved. They are nothing but a bad example to the child.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 10:19 PM
1

Hell no OP. AP needs to bud the f*ck out. Both your ex and the AP are scum, and deserve to be treated as such. Don’t let the naysays sway your determination on this. Torture the AP in subtle ways, to make his life miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 10:17 PM
1

It is not you that needs to change OP, this is squarely all on her. You need to stop “changing” for her, and put her in her place. She don’t like it, she can pack her sh*t and leave.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:45 PM
1

The post-nup is an absolute necessity in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:44 PM
7

Boyfriend dumped her *ss.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:42 PM
1

OP, get her to sign a post-nup asap, as terms of staying together. She needs to go straight back to work, like yesterday, don’t fall on your sword. Lastly, STOP fulfilling her ridiculous demands to “change”. If she refuses, file immediately, a go for 50/50 on everything.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 07:41 PM
8

One word: entitlement
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 12:27 PM
0

Only a simp does that disgusting act. No man should be dominated in that fashion.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 09:31 PM
1

Women without sex to manipulate, and to get what they want. If she has lost respect, the above two occur, and the lack of sex is the result.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 09:04 PM
1

Absolutely.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 09:03 PM
5

No she doesn’t, she holds women accountable for intentionally withholding sex to get what they want, because they do. I know of many men who suffer in this situations, because their wives are “unhappy” and too damn entitled.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 09:02 PM
1

OP, she betrayed you in all senses. You should have demanded a paternity test when he was born, but that is water under the bridge. Get a DNA test done with you and him, and don’t change or admit anything until you get the results. If you are not his biological father, you decide based on what the current, and future ramifications are.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 04:39 PM
7

Societal pressure from church. I am still a believer, though I have to state all former church going friends sided with the ex, despite the facts that she cheated, abused our eldest, ruined our finances, and abused me emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 02:28 AM
4

Op, as for Half of everything, including retirement, and her business, this is pay back for the abuse she put you through. Ask for alimony for a good long time. If possible, get the court to order her to cover you lawyer fees. Once everything is done, you go buy a 718, and relax. One last thing, I am on 2 blood pressure meds, I get it …
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 01:41 PM
1

You are describing a woman with mental illness, otherwise it is called a piece of paper and a pen. Men are not slaves, we will do what is necessary, the rest is white noise. You are enabling mental illness in women.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 10:43 AM
-2

No, them “remembering” those 15 things is not biological, that is a mentally ill, digital device over-stimulated mind.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 10:40 AM
3

We are not down voting him because we are “male-feminists”, we are down voting him because he is enabling bad behaviour in women. Modern women act like children, they are a caricature of their great grandmothers. What divorce taught me is put up with almost nothing. You show them the damn door as soon as they start being resentful. Anything else is being an enabler.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 10:39 AM
2

It necessarily true, with 50/50 decision making, one NO is enough from a legal standpoint.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 03:30 AM
3

Children can tell if someone loves them or not. You ex does not love your son, otherwise she would not have blown everything sky high. The only person she loves is herself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 05:18 AM
2

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 02:52 PM
8

She is a rotten person, considering she has you to herself 80% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:37 PM
14

Dump her. If she cannot understand the situation, she needs to see the door.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 09:36 PM
11

Why would you care? It’s called consequences. Have her charged.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 12:32 AM
1

OP, to answer your question, if the children are at your place a lot of the time, you can take your ex back to court for adjustment to custody in your favour.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 04:49 AM
28

OP! Slow down man, listen to these comments above. I will summarize. 1). Get a shark of a lawyer, file for immediate custody/support hearing. File for divorce first to control the narrative, because she will try and spin a lie. See #2. 2). Get her to work more, or at the very least, have her income imputed to her educational level, NOT just minimum wage. You might have to pay someone for this report. 3) You go to the doctor, you tell them you are suffering from burnout, because you are, full sto…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 12:49 PM
2

At her educational level, not just minimum wage either!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 12:38 PM
3

Same here bro. Ex cheated with five people on four occasions. Said she only ever cheated once, pathological liar. Ex said I stole the children, no, we left because she is a raging lunatic. She then proceeded to move her grifter boyfriend in immediately, and host parties for a year and a half, all the while I lived with the children in a travel trailer. They never take accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 02:16 AM
6

Our perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:41 AM
6

If you look at DSM, the layout of NPD or BPD is “asshole”. Personally, I have been in relationships with people that have been professionally dx’d as BPD. It is more prevalent than society is willing to admit, especially sub-clinical traits. My step daughter is also BPD, they are f’n nightmares.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:40 AM
1

I don’t care what she makes, but I don’t put myself in a position for that to matter.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 01:36 AM
1

You need to file first, to set the narrative. Emergency custody, and sole use of residence motions, like yesterday! If you don’t, she is going to lie like a gangster and silver bullet you. Get your lawyer to file immediately!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 12:14 AM
3

Learned behaviour and manipulation. Men are taught how to treat a woman, and she takes advantage of it, because she can. Social media has made it worse by allowing “comparison”. Family law has corrupted the ethos.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 10:57 PM
2

What annoys me the most, if you give them “time” to figure it out, seriously … one should not have to drop the hammer to get someone to behave properly, but it is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 10:54 PM
2

It is disappointing though when you want someone to improve, but they continue to let you down, and you have to cut ties.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 10:51 PM
2

Bingo.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 08:56 PM
2

She’s an adult, that’s her problem.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:58 PM
7

Get a damn lawyer, and emergency orders in place, before she wakes up to how stupid she is.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 04:55 PM
8

OP, she used you for the children. Now that she has them, you are no longer important.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 05:15 PM
3

And what did she do to make amends to you? Seriously, think about that. Actions, not words.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 03:10 PM
19

I hope you DNA test your first son. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She will, and does not respect you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 03:08 PM
13

You talking about men that have standards and demand accountability? I thought so.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 04:29 PM
1

I burnt all of them, therapeutic.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:23 AM
1

OP, if she is abusive too the children, you leave with the children. You should be filing for exclusive use of the home, and full custody in the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 01:04 AM
7

OP, she is cheating already dude, time to file. Cut all the money off, and tell her to get f’n job pronto. Pay for nothing that benefits her, you are no longer the provider. Your child is old enough, she can work. Be ruthless, and direct!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 09:00 PM
6

OP, you need to file for divorce with severe prejudice.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:35 PM
4

Keep dating your wife? No, you put her in her place and tell her to stop acting like a spoiled brat, or you are divorcing her ass.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:34 PM
6

Why should OP even bother, she’s banging other men, he should be repulsed by her.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:32 PM
7

OP, she is cheating, file for divorce. She never loved you, you need to realize that.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:31 PM
1

Drives the ex mental, to the point she will start to slip up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:18 AM
4

Just make sure she is not lying to you about her past. My ex was one of these women. She abused me, in all way, and me eldest. I had to flee the home at the time. She also cheated numerous times, and had quite the past, that I found out about after 14 years of marriage. Her native tongue was not English, thus it was easier to hide a lot of details from me. All I am saying is be careful, do not let your guard down.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 01:40 AM
1

Yeah, it is, she’s a lazy *ss. I am sorry, but in my marriage, I did everything, and I literally mean everything, child care of two included, even an infant, and work full time online. Homeschooled my eldest. She sat on her damn phone, because she was “depressed”. She was a f’n lunatic in reality. So sick and tired of people defending SAHM, and providing them every damn excuse under the sun for their laziness.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 12:28 AM
2

It is emotional abuse, by draining the living soul out of him, and never giving him a moment of peace.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 12:25 AM
2

Yes, OP, it is abuse. Women are generally frantic loons running around cleaning stuff, and expect you to do the same. What would take you 1.5 hours, will take her 8 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 12:23 AM
2

Take your age, and minus 10, start from there.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 07:02 PM
2

Wow, so he is saving for their future, which is technically an expense, but she doesn’t include that in her mental math, wow.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 08:22 PM
8

And we are only hearing her side of the story. When they say “I do everything” it means “I do more than I think I should”, which could only be 20% of “everything”.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 08:20 PM
1

lol, she should be happy he only likes certain foods, makes things easy. My gf is co stately switching things up, and I would rather she make the same plain things over and over. Why? Cause she stresses when making the “new” things, and I don’t need the drama.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 08:18 PM
2

It’s because it is a matrimonial home perhaps? In my jurisdiction, there is a rule of abandoning the matrimonial home. It is a terrible rule, and probably leads to a lot of false DV claims.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 04:08 PM
3

You can never be completely honest with a woman, because they will use it against you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 03:12 PM
3

Even though the article discusses the toll on women, it completely disregards the impact on the family. They will probably use these types of research to support alimony. Any logical person, given the data, should state this is perfect evidence as to why “no-fault” divorce should be done away with.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 01:03 PM
6

With the current disaster called family court, you can bet your bottom dollar it is a failure.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:54 PM
3

No, it happens because modern women are selfish beyond past generations, and expect the moon and back, while men work themselves to death for little to nothing. Women “settle” because they believe they deserve “James Bond”, but then come to resent their decision, and direct all that resentment towards their husband. There is zero reason a man should marry a modern woman, period.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:53 PM
8

Best answer here.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 04:49 PM
26

Doesn’t matter if it is, she is still to be held accountable. Stop giving women excuses. She can now take the menopause journey by herself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 04:49 PM
3

Doesn’t matter, she is still accountable for her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 10:04 PM
2

You might think it is “sexist”, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 10:03 PM
3

Go do your simping bud. No man should be his woman’s entertainment director. She should be planning the outings, especially if she is a home.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 10:01 PM
6

OP, she’s having an affair on those “work trips” with a coworker is my guess. Sorry bud.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 09:56 PM
2

Actually, not a lot of child free women out there with low body count.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 10:10 PM
10

Why the heck should you be supportive of her “career”, you are not her husband. She could lay bricks for all you care.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 10:27 PM
2

It is “voluntary”, hell, even financial statements are voluntary. The ex never disclosed anything, and hasn’t even supplied current income, and the judge let her away with it. The system is “unbelievable”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 01:26 AM
1

Stay in her life. Girls without fathers are a disaster waiting to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 01:17 AM
1

Exactly, they are using him.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 12:13 AM
19

OP, you don’t need to forgive her, you just need to forgive yourself for picking her in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 12:09 AM
2

Hilarious!
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 09:27 PM
3

OP, she had a new ride, sorry bro.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 09:13 PM
1

Or, he doesn’t give damn, because the decision is not necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:32 PM
1

Bingo. Line him up, marry him, pull the switch!
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:31 PM
2

Bingo.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:28 PM
1

Do you plan things? Holy sh*t man, like he doesn’t work all day, and she sits at home. She can plan it. It is no man’s job to ‘entertain’ his woman, this is feminist bs you are spewing. If she is “not happy” with the life he is providing, she can pack her stuff and leave.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:27 PM
3

I just got told I ruined someone’s day, because they inferred I was an idiot for getting locked out of a security system that had a fault fingerprint scanner, and I raised my voice and said “Are you f’n kidding me?” That was abuse supposedly. Yea, the person was a woman. You can’t win, even if you check ‘em nowadays.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 03:26 PM
5

OP, she can’t just “move home” with the children. You need to get an emergency order to prevent that asap.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 01:32 AM
11

OP, if it was physical abuse, I hope you filed police reports. Your line of argument is that she is violent, and would take it out on the child.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:47 PM
4

This is wrong, you need to switch, I bet this lawyer knows your current lawyer. You need to switch, file a continuance, and rehash everything, seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:40 PM
5

OP, blitzkreig the b*tch if money is no barrier. Get a new lawyer, file continuance, and get your story set straight. Inform the court of the errors of your previous lawyer, and file a complaint against them. Get the eval, file for primary. Do not back down, and fight for every extra minute with your son. You owe it to him, considering the failure rate of boys raised by women.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:37 PM
1

He is the custodial parent!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 03:42 PM
3

I don’t even let the ex on my property, meet her at a public place every time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 03:34 PM
3

Who cares if it is “lowly”, she can do them, or leave.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 03:27 PM
5

She is already gone, and unaccountable. Though I believe Gottman is the only viable method, she has completely checked out. To force her husband to work 70 hours a week to support her “lifestyle” is just evidence of that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 02:51 PM
2

Due to the child? Hell no, she can work. Have her income imputed to at least minimum wage. You need to cut back your hours, like yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 02:48 PM
2

Women need to be held accountable for their words.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 01:40 PM
0

She is only entitled to half of the increase during the time of the marriage, if any asset existed before the marriage, at least in most jurisdictions. Verify for Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 02:49 PM
1

And it should bother you, read my other comments on this thread for ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:38 PM
3

You could have bribed her with more settlement $$, or shamed the sh*t out of her. $$ talks.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:37 PM
-4

Ummm, no, it’s a legacy, and she ain’t entitled to it, especially if she cheated. If you don’t view your surname as a legacy, I pity you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:36 PM
6

Buzz off, seriously. If she cheated, she should be shamed into changing it. It is disgusting that a woman would cheat on her husband, and keep his surname, f’n disgusting, and the courts SHOULD recognize that, but our system is a piece of garbage.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:35 PM
3

Shame, you shame them to do so, especially if they cheated. You can also through a few extra thousand in settlement, if they change it within a certain time limit. No change, no extra $$. Legally, nothing can be done unfortunately in most jurisdictions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:30 PM
9

It’s the perimenopause, and her entitlement. Don’t tempt yourself with thinking if you did something different, it would’ve changed the outcome. She is on the way out, and dragging it out until she is ready. I would give her an ultimatum, but you have no idea if she will file behind your back. To control the narrative, once needs to file first.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 11:06 PM
1

The only answer to all of this is to hire a PI and dig up egregious behaviour by your ex, such as sex in front of the children, alcoholism, wild parties, drug abuse. The children need to express they want to live with you. The courts will do nothing until it is extremely bad, and the children are already traumatized.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 11:03 PM
1

I guess you lost decision making, and being primary parent, which you call ‘custody’? This is similar to Canada. You still have 50% parenting time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:47 PM
1

Low self esteem and chronic disease lead me to believe no one would ever love me. Someone actually told me no one would ever marry me because of my disease. When someone showed interest in me, it was all it took. She was abusive from the start, even before married, but somehow I believe she would change. Abused me the entire 14 years. Add in growing up in Christian culture, and the church basically telling me it was my fault, and try harder … She abused our eldest as well. Serious trauma bond. I…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:45 PM
2

Funny how we stumble across “personality disorder”, thank God for the internet.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:40 PM
1

If she didn’t appreciate that, she isn’t worth your time. I bet she spent the money without complaining.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:36 PM
2

And now you know the average woman does not care about character or honour.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:34 PM
3

In other words, she dumps everything on you, due to her childish mind, unless you nip it at the bud, and that is exhausting overtime. One reason: entitlement.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 05:33 PM
1

Unless the finances are co-mingled.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 02:18 AM
4

OP, I can almost guarantee you are not NPD, because you are actually questioning the possibility. A true narc would never be so introspective. People throw that crap around without even knowing what a true narc is, and I can tell you, there is no way in hell a “therapist” can diagnose it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 02:12 AM
1

Nothing wrong with her paying for dates.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 02:04 AM
2

“Missed out”? That’s a massive red flag there buddy …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 10:54 PM
9

Because 99% of the time, “financially abused” == “She cannot spend like a drunken sailor”. The ex said the same about me, guess what? She is the one hurting for money because of her insane spending, not me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 10:49 PM
9

Doesn’t matter if you “provoked” or not, that isn’t a get out of jail free card for assault. Flip it the other way, “women provoke men all the time …”
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 10:46 PM
16

“Abusive” and “financially controlling” … I know the drill, translation: She wanted to spend without limits, and the money ran up, possibly large amounts of debt … or he said “no” for some outlandish request.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 10:45 PM
2

Not your issue if she is hurting for money. 75/25 on based on a ratio of salaries like I stated about. There is NO way you should go 50/50 on any type of expenses.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:32 PM
1

Possible the judge will say “hell no” and order the child support.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:31 PM
7

No 50/50 on expenses! She will sign them up for some expensive bs thing, and it will bankrupt you. You pay for your extra-curriculars, she pays for her’s. And hell yes, you take alimony and child support.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:29 PM
12

Marriage is a business transaction. If this woman loves you, you need to bang her senseless. You are a dunce if you live your life like a female, always relegating your decisions to “feelings”. FFS, be a man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 05:04 AM
2

What is you file separately for those two years, and let her alone go delinquent on her taxes? Is that possible?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:11 AM
3

“A lot more of the world” is translated to “a lot more of men’s bedrooms”.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:08 AM
-4

Keep the son with you, don’t relent.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 02:22 AM
8

If you leave, you take the children with you, and refuse to grant access until she is medicated for her insanity. You show the evidence, the reckless behaviour, the cheating as proof of her insanity (not as a slight to you), and you grind her into the ground.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 05:53 PM
5

Sounds like you should have TRO’d her!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 05:50 PM
6

Listen, she will have spent all the equity in the house by that time if there is a HELOC against it. 18 months is way too long to entertain BS, which is men must file FIRST, and establish the narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 05:48 PM
0

She probably had no physical attraction to him in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 03:26 PM
1

I was wondering exactly the same.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 01:05 AM
1

OP, she is talking to an ex. What makes you think she isn’t shagging the ex when she is at her “parent’s place”?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:54 AM
1

Now is the time to push for change, because you will find out what she is made of.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:48 AM
1

It is not the kids that cause the problems, it is the character of your wife.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:36 AM
1

Exactly, just take the dog when she is not there, she will have zero say since one remains. He could possibly take both, when he leaves, and then reimburse her for the monetary value. It is property after all.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 12:03 AM
1

If she respects the man, that will never happen, he is be first, and should be.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 11:28 PM
1

Women leave men who are sick, men generally caregive. The only time a woman sticks around is when there is tons of $$ coming g her way.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 11:26 PM
1

Since the vast amount of modern women refuse to be held accountable, it rarely works. You have to have a really solid woman for it to even be plausible.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 10:19 PM
1

Exactly this. The ex was shopping lawyers with the help of the therapist, which I was with the other therapist, unbelievable. I find marriage counseling is used to “buy time” for the woman to get her ducks in a row for the divorce to be file, while the husband has no idea.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 10:11 PM
1

In my experience, the Gottman certified counsellors are more “biblical” than the ones from the church!
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 09:55 PM
1

Up to about 60k so far. Parenting agreement done, divorce done, but financial settlement not done, stay tuned, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 09:19 PM
13

You have to give a copy of the court order to the tax authority.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 07:32 PM
12

OP, blitzkrieg the hell out of her. File first, file fast, and document everything in your affidavit. Do not under any circumstances relent. You go for full custody, and not a percent less. You leave the house with the children if you feel it is the safest option. I got 100% legal custody/decision making for both of my children. 100% parenting time of the eldest, and 50% for the youngest. Nail her to the wall, no mercy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:25 AM
1

Just some food for thought. I hope you are not “getting in shape” to attract women, because it is a zero sum game. You might get injured, you might get sick, and if that woman was attracted to your body alone, she will be heading for the door. It is not a formula, it is an attitude. Yes, I have been working on my health, but in reality I am a very physically sick individual (not overweight), but I balance my lifestyle to get peak output the best I can. I tell the gf, you don’t like the way I loo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:13 PM
2

It is gaslighting, because his ex refused to even acknowledge her behaviours happened, and then expects him to do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 12:20 PM
20

In the last decades, women have been taught they are infallible, a princess that can do no wrong. The reality is this has caused generations to become entitlement, egotistical. On top of that, the sexual revolution “enabled” women to sleep around, adding up trauma of failed paired bonding, one after another. Every time that oxytocin fires is enough. To me, it promotes a situation of sub-clinical BPD in many women.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 12:18 PM
4

You need to go for at least 80% custody, and document everything to do, to prove she does pretty well nothing. Your wife is an entitled loser.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 08:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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