My ex and I have been Seperated for the past 9 months now and she is on and off again on wanting it to work out. A while ago she asked what I was doing and I said I had plans. I didn’t tell her with who now this is constantly brought up and thrown in my face.

That this is a matter of trust and secrets shouldn’t be kept if we are trying to work on our relationship. Am I in the wrong?

I don’t know what or where it’s going essentially my son had behavioral issues at our house, it really took a lot out of our relationship. He had to leave the house Than I went in Reddit like an idiot and started sending responses on local connections. Since I felt like a ghost in the house without my son. She believes living in separate houses would be the best because my son needs my attention so much. I honestly feel like if that’s the case is this even a marriage at this point or is it more like dating again and starting all over with our relationship. I think living Separate until my son is old enough stable enough to live on his own then moving back in is selfish on her part.

We were together for around seven years before marriage and this happened less than a year into our marriage and she knew my son was on the spectrum and would need extra support from me. I imagine the hell of mixed feelings my son must feel in this situation. That he isn’t worth enough to be part of her family, but I can still be part of it just on days I don’t have him.

I don’t want to fuck him up anymore emotionally over this. She says maybe eventually we could move back in but I feel realistically that there will always be too much hurt on all sides for us to fully heal and him to be accepted again.

During the time my son moved out I pretty much gave up on everything work, paying bills and pretty much fucked her over. So I have little or no trust in my corner which is deserved. I look at separation as in we are two separate entities free to do what we want.