Grey rock feelings.

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-01-13T19:57:05+00:00

I find role playing and "Okaying" to be the most helpful.

Roleplay encounters with her based on her past experiences, a lot of folks try to think it'll be "Better this time", when they should prep for the worst. Practice answers.

And default to "Okay." and "We'll talk about it" (stalling) for her inevitable demands/'requests'. The latter gives you time to step back and analyze.

90% of the time mine wants to do something "for the kids" it's actually about making her life easier at my expense, not actually for the benefit of the kids (like crazy drop off schedules to accomodate her schedule that are more disruptive for the kids). One of the reasons I filed is that she not only puts herself first, but is a scatter brain at time management.

One_Cartographer_465 · 2024-01-08T21:54:49+00:00

Not specifically what you asked, but, When you Grey Rock, it works because Her not knowing your "feelings" or what is going on with you, puts her imagination into over drive and will drive her crazy. HOWEVER, be aware it will do the same to you, but not to the same extent. Your imagination will work on you because you also will not know what is going on with her.

The good news, this symptom/issue will make her crazier than you, because women are emotional creatures and cannot help but imagen the worst. Men are more rational and can talk themselves down.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-01-07T17:19:16+00:00

If being a grey rock allows you to create boundaries and handle your ex better, so be it. The guild feelings will eventually go away. Time is on your side. Got and start to enjoy your new reality.

someguyinpa52 · 2024-01-07T04:34:28+00:00

Wow.. so this is a new one for me - Grey Rock? Google is my next step.

Lumpy-Prior3261 · 2024-01-07T01:09:05+00:00

If you do it right it works you have to stay at it .

WildernessHuntin · 2024-01-07T00:38:07+00:00

I treat it like a homeless woman who walks up to me at a gas station. I know she has a story for me. I know what she wants and it’s nothing in my best interest. Doesn’t mean I hate her or dislike her Sometimes I might even feel empathy that she might have made some bad decisions and is now homeless, but I can’t take on her problems, I have my own. I’m polite, fair and to the point. “I have nothing left to give, good luck and have a good day.”

I would only feel guilty if I was rude or did something purposefully to make things worse for her.

mjmsouth · 2024-01-07T00:20:39+00:00

Been grey rocking for almost 6 months. eating shit big time. Awaiting MSA to get signed or some sort of counter offer. Or fucking served. Everything’s is emotional for the STBXW.

Artistic-Trifle-555 · 2024-01-06T22:41:42+00:00

There's no way I will be "friendly" w my ex. Kids or no kids. Have some self respect if the x blew up the family.

HalfTheMan611 · 2024-01-06T22:19:19+00:00

While I think there are definitely scenarios where this is the way, like dealing with narcissists and highly manipulative people, for me, I felt like using it was a way to try and invoke some sort of punishment for my ex who left me. And while I dealt with anger and resentment for a very long time, having learned to let that go, being a kind communicative person feels better for ME. It's no longer about the ex, she threw it away. I won't let her take away my kindness. I'm a rock, but not gray. The kids pick up on it. I want them to see me treating their mom kindly and with respect (regardless of how she did me behind their back).

SpiritualEnema · 2024-01-06T19:33:50+00:00

I’m in almost exactly the same boat. We only communicate through snail mail now except for emergencies for the children. It’s comforting to know that she has no power over me now

Title	Grey rock feelings.
Author	Miserable_Ad_1172
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	January 6, 2024 7:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1907vz8/grey_rock_feelings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/grey-rock-feelings.1242384 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242384

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