How do judges view false restraining orders?

Part-Used · 2024-12-29T16:49:23+00:00

Im glad God walked this path with you, I am currently going thru the same thing. my 2yr old, I have been there since the day he was born. In August my x spouse did a restraining order to get me out of the house and end the relationship. I never came back after that and she dropped in on her own. Now she did another restraining order in Nov 30, 2024. This is the longest I have not seen my son since he was born (4 weeks) and court is in another week. I have faith I will not walk alone in this aswell. Should I lawyer up or not? u/warwww

danielschill · 2024-11-28T06:18:24+00:00

Same thing here too. I don't have a solution yet.

MsTropical1 · 2024-11-17T14:01:41+00:00

Yeah my heart goes out to everyone who is dealing with this right now! I’m dealing with it myself, it’s awful and unfair when the woman wrongly slaps a restraining order against her ex especially when there are children involved!! When they use it as a control/revenge tactic cuz they’re bitter! The children should always get visitation with both parents and both families regardless! Even if the relationship isn’t working and there’s a break-up don’t involve the kids! Both parents should have equal rights and be heard in the court! My son is going through this now.! He is a great father to his 10 year old son and recently had a new baby with his live in girlfriend. He works hard full-time and supports everyone. She works out of the home and banks her money. They have been bickering she feels he pays attention to his son and job and baby but doesn’t give her enough attention! So she decided to take off with the baby to live at her parents house 2 1/2 hours away said she needed a break whilst her mother is going to help out with the baby! My son after visiting up there with his child trying to be understanding of all of this 🤷‍♀️cuz what she says and wants is the rule 🙄then finds out she’s seeking attention elsewhere through cheating on dating sites and at the gym! So of course he is blindsided and devastated! So upset arguing back and forth via text between the both of them naturally upset, normal response 🤷‍♀️he expressed his anger by threatening the unknown guy she was pursuing through text message cuz understandably he was angry! She used that against him and took out a restraining order and also extended it for a year 😳so now he can’t even see his baby girl! He never threatened or abused her ever, still loves her! Made a threat via text to the unknown guy she was pursuing! And she took out a restraining order against him on a 3rd party person ! They listened to her in court but not him! What a mess! More court dates to follow to try to fight for visitation. Meanwhile all this time is going by where we can’t see the baby!! How awful that she is in the wrong and calls all the shots for control! And gets away with it! Like Wow! 😮

Zer0crewdoll · 2024-10-30T03:59:11+00:00

I found your post rather interesting, as my dad is going through a similar situation. He was in a long-term relationship (with his now ex), he moved out of their shared home early October (first week) and a couple of weeks later (third week) he contacted a real estate attorney to find out what options he has in regards to their shared home.

Some background points:

Between Oct 02 (m/o date( and Oct 17 (consultation w/ attorney) he attempted to arrange meeting with her in order to negotiate a mutually beneficial decision regarding the house. - She has been mostly uncooperative.

On 10/20 She came to the conclusion that it would be in her best interest if he signed the home over to her. (Her reason being that he is the sole-owner of another home and her only home is the one they purchased together).

He respectfully declined on the same date she proposed this idea. Not that there needs to be a reasonable explanation but he has paid the mortgage on their shared home since they purchased it and has paid for repairs on the home (estimated at about $45,000, respectively) she did not and has not put her own money toward the actual mortgage or repairs despite owning the home. What she does pay are the utilities.

She filed a DVPO on 10/23 that is basically a word salad without the dressing.

What can I do to help ease his mind? He is not an abusive person, he doesn't have any previous criminal charges, he's a by the book 📚 type of person and always has been.

Any words of encouragement or advice?

Xx

Ill_Personality_5704 · 2024-10-04T08:08:19+00:00

I am going through this rn. She took 3 of my kids. She's preggo with my 4th. Her family is funding this operation. Police report filed. Accusing me of everything under the sun except for murder(can't find dead body, that's why) but from DV to CA to SA. No evidence. 5 weeks passed. Trial after 3 weeks. Subpoena her for deposition to find more inconsistencies in her story.

Brilliant_Trifle2727 · 2024-09-06T11:30:19+00:00

my son is going thru same thing, and his wife was having an affair for several months! she filed for divorce and put protective order on my son, at same time! she lies everytime she opens her mouth! my son has not seen his daughter in two months! it is horrible, that all a women has to do is pick up phone, call police, and they arrest the man. he can't prove his innocence, till trial. so, he can't see his kids till trial.this woman did this to keep my son from seeing his daughter, and it is killing him! I'm sorry you a re going thru this. I pray God helps you, because I know it is very hard to go thru it.

Own_Efficiency4005 · 2024-09-01T02:24:08+00:00

a lot of them really dont care about the truth. they will just take the side of the woman because they worry they will be blamed if something bad happens.

francine522 · 2024-05-03T00:14:42+00:00

If you can afford to take it to trial then take it to trial . Have a psych evaluation. The truth eventually comes out . False accusations in family court abiut abuse are soooo common and should be easily recognized .

The problem is - in family court you get a judge / referee and you don’t really get to talk or defend yourself against BS claims l it’s almost like they don’t matter . At lease this was my experience. Don’t compromise, stay calm and just know in time things will get better. When you feel like things can’t get any worse - they probably won’t - rebuild your relationship with your kids, slowly , 1 day at a time , control what you can and don’t sweat the stuff out of your control . The truth always comes out and becomes very obvious . 95% of the time it’s 1 person fighting dirty and the other person reacting m don’t react crazy

firuz9 · 2024-03-23T07:48:21+00:00

can someone please recommend me the good just attorney a woman preferredly attorney who can take case in san francisco? Thank you so much in advance!

Significant_Rope976 · 2023-11-15T04:22:21+00:00

This is from a standard template. My friend had the exact same accusations. Can we have the itemized proactive defense for each one for future generation of men?

Due_Cap_9823 · 2023-09-12T17:46:55+00:00

Also if she's lying, she will have to perjurye herself. She will have to lie under oathe. Perjury us a serious crime, so talk with your lawyer about how to go about charging her with perjury after the OP case gets enivetably dropped. So you have 3 cases basically that you need to follow up on. First is getting the OP dropped which it will if she's lying. After you have that dropped you sue for 2 to 3 reasons (I can put you in contact with someone who can help with this). And then finally you start the criminal charges for perjury. Hit me up

Maseena_Ziegler · 2023-01-31T21:24:00+00:00

In my case the Judge granted my restraining order to get rid of me. He was tired of me filling his court room. He knew I did not have the woman’s real last name and knew I could never serve it. So basically I spent 175k on a phony piece of paper that means nothing. That’s was a get for being a narcissistic person I guess.

jlmsquared · 2023-01-10T18:37:22+00:00

This is the standard MO for women in a divorce. My X had two placed on me. Both dropped by the judge. You can ask for them to be dropped with prejudice, which is apparently a much bigger deal if they try to ever file another one.

ferdfarkle · 2023-01-10T16:07:07+00:00

My kids are adults and I was married for 30 years and my STBX filed a TRO against me. A week later after the damage was done and before I could defend myself in court she changed it to an MRO. Now in discovery and the questions her lawyer is asking are crazy. We are splitting assets. I hear you, anyone can get a restraining order and it hurts in so many ways. I am glad to hear the judge sided with you and I can't agree more about the recording device and also go no contact.

Dontgetmarriedever · 2023-01-10T15:29:06+00:00

First of all. Stay strong brother. I know it seems hopeless some times. And it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done was go through a divorce while having an ex wife that lied and tried to use the court as a weapon. My ex brought a temp injunction against me of all lies. Her lawyer told her to stop working and she was trying to take my house my kids my money she wanted alimony. It was dark man. Really dark. On top of that my lawyer at the time was a fucking shit bird. I was at my lowest point I mean ever… I Couldn’t get out of bed. It was the worst day of my life over and over again. I fired my lawyer. My new one was a great lady. I was going to give up and just sign my rights away just so she would stop. I told my lawyer just to give in. She wouldn’t let me. She said if I give up now I might not ever get my rights back as a dad. My exs lawyer buried me in paper work. I was fighting an injunction. I had 80 interrogatories that I spent 15 grand on. She wasn’t working. She was telling the court I was abusive. All lies. And in the end. I signed the papers last week and I’m waiting for the judge to sign now. But in the end I got the house. 50/50 legal 50/50 physical custody. I don’t have to pay alimony. My child support is 94$ a month! I have to give her a check for 55 grand. Which is nothing. It’s all starting to finally end. This is my 22 month since filing for divorce. It’s cost me almost 150 grand and has been the worst year of my life. I’ve had to live with this maniac too. My best advice? Stay calm brother. Record her as much as you can. Don’t escalate and let something get physical and she say you hit her or something. If she comes near you. Record her. Keep a diary. Write down your day everyday. Don’t lose your cool. Do not fight in front of kids. Do not even engage with her. Imagine yourself as a grey rock. Don’t talk to her don’t fight with her. Your a grey rock. Be on your best behavior. She can say whatever she wants. My ex tried to lie about all kinds of horrible shit. If she has no proof. There is no proof. If one of you gets caught in a lie in court. Your fucked. Credibility is huge. Be honest about everything. No one is perfect. Just tell it how it is. Let her get caught lying. The judge is going to side with the most sensible parent. Good luck man. The truth is going to come out. She can’t have lie after lie and be successful in court. Lawyers are paid to sniff out bullshit. The devil is in the details. Your going to get through this. She makes more money then you. That’s really good. Your lawyer is who she will argue with. Not you. Be good. Stay calm. Don’t fight with her. Keep records. Receipts. One day at a time. I’m not sure about the RO. If you can be around your kid. Go everywhere you can if your allowed. I don’t know how old your kid/kids are but know who their dr is. Go to their dr appointments. School activities. Talk to their teachers. Know their best friend. It’s ALL about the kid now. Before my divorce my ex made all the decisions based on the kids. She is very controlling. I wasn’t a hands on dad like i should have been. That’s all different now. Sports. School. Dr. Teachers. Babysitters. Be involved in every aspect of your kids life that is possible. Good luck man. Your gonna get through this. Your kid needs you.

Idaho2A · 2023-01-10T15:15:18+00:00

Mine just filed one on me and now I can’t see my kid. It’s fucking insane!

Rough-Area4765 · 2023-01-10T13:37:15+00:00

False allegations in family court is the standard approach. It’s a whole other level of angry when she files false criminal charges also. Read my story: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/u4mi6m/not_guilty/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Data_Fan · 2023-01-10T13:02:13+00:00

Dime a dozen. They actually prefer them to the real ones, because the real DVs can come back to bite them if they don't identify it and manage it appropriately.

Wasting months of your life is nothing to them, and kids can get over it. Not that all of them do, but they can. Thats good enough.

No_Analyst_5235 · 2023-01-10T12:13:10+00:00

My ex tried to paint the narrative that everything was my fault and she was a loving wife for decades. She used to call our son after every disagreement. I would ask her why is she bothering him. I realized after the shit went down. It was very effective. Parental alienation could happen at any age. But as they say, the truth will come out.

We have a wyze camera that also picks up sound and will record it all. One day I accessed it to check on a package delivery and heard her talking on the phone. She was saying the ugliest things, not things that a victim would be saying. whenever she talked to the scumbags in her life it was always aggressive, punitive and nasty toward me.

Now she knows she can't play the poor little me trick. It doesn't change anything but it validates my reality and what I've been saying. She almost got away with it.

If you are going to record someone , just check the laws in your State.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-01-10T10:08:51+00:00

Yup similar story . Get a Bodycam . Still not fun the only safe way is avoid letting them in your place … ideally , ever . Again. Even victory is an unnecessarily expensive draining traumatic experience you Don’t Need.

warwww · 2023-01-10T05:30:56+00:00

Thanks for all of the replies guys. If I can add here. I’ll put this in caps. If you even DREAM THAT YOUR DIVORCE IS BECOMING CONTENTIOUS, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET A PERSONAL RECORDING DEVICE AND KEEP IT IN YOUR BODY AT ALLLLLLLLLLL TIMES. HECK, SLEEP WITH IT ON YOU, SHOWER WITH IT ON YOU. Hopefully that got the point across.

Divorce will often bring out the true nature of people.

Substantial_Week3298 · 2023-01-10T05:17:54+00:00

Let me tell you something my friends.... The courts do care, the judges already know, chances are it was simply a plan by corrupt attorneys putting the false idea into the stupid woman's small brain that if she files a fake DV, she will automatically gain control over the kids and the house that belongs to you! Not going to happen if you stay the course and keep cool. I was stuck with a narcissist abusive psycho, literally. I wondered each day what she was going to do to me when I came home. She knew I had enough and was about to file.

What does she do? Files a fake DV, I'm ordered to leave my pre marital home and could not come near my house the school or see my kids. I hired the best father's rights attorneys who said, let's take it to trial, don't give in to her request of full custody, no visitation, possession of my home, crazy alimony, insane child support, all that dumb fake bs nonsense. So, I waited a month without seeing my kids, come trial day, she was full of fake drama, the judge knew it, we beat her ass really good in court. DV was dismissed. She was caught.

Now, came the 4 year, million dollar litagation and custody battle. 3 experts, plus employment experts, while my private investigators found several previous divorces on her plus a criminal record! I had no idea! Crazy low rent snake in the grass loser she was. She went full force with parental alienation tactics, which the custody experts and judges hate, planted recorders in the kids school bags, that's a federal crime, I can go on and on..

To sum this up, I went from being displaced from my own home and kids to demolishing the pig in court, kept my money, became primary parent and have my house back while she got her clothes tossed out the door. Was it all worth it? I had no other option, I had to take her to war. She's absolutely insane thinking she was going to get away with everything she has done to myself and my precious little kids. Now, she's going to face a federal judge on wiretapping charges. I'm not through with that cow yet. Never give up gentleman! The courts do know what women do to innocent men. Unfortunately, it's about the money being dumped into the courts, the attorneys, the custody experts, ect. I won but I had to pay a heavy price, financially emotionally and mentally. It wears you down, however, you will come back stronger than you ever thought possible.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-01-10T03:40:24+00:00

The damage to her and her lawyer's credibility has been done. Not sure of the lasting impact on your case but it's something.

2023-01-10T02:45:46+00:00

We’re you married to my ex?

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-01-10T02:41:51+00:00

Women lie. It's their true nature. You aren't going to find emotional justice in court, and she's never going to be punished for it.

pk2at · 2023-01-10T02:34:08+00:00

They don't care. Learn to fight or perish

AirSailer · 2023-01-10T02:32:56+00:00

How do judges view false restraining orders?

As barely an inconvenience to the man.

2023-01-10T02:27:55+00:00

Welcome to the club. Happened to me. Just be the absolute best man you can be in every regard right now. No drinking, no badmouthing, only communicate in writing through your attorneys. And, if you don't have one then you need one fast.... like yesterday.

http://realworlddivorce.com/DomesticViolence

Title	How do judges view false restraining orders?
Author	warwww
Upvotes	41
Comments	68
Date	January 10, 2023 1:59 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/107xadl/how_do_judges_view_false_restraining_orders/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-judges-view-false-restraining-orders.1146288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146288

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