TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

JonathanApple Archive

View 7 posts and 1,019 comments by JonathanApple on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,019 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Bro may as well call me Jonathan Cryer, because this stuff will make ya bawl, especially if ya got kid(s)
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 03:57 PM
3

Protect yourself, she is not your wife/friend.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 01:29 PM
2

I'm so angry bro. You should be livid. Also. I hear ya, gets worse not better, for me it is lost time with child.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:36 PM
3

Sure wish my (divorced) dad had done that... Sigh
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 04:39 PM
3

After a bitter custody battle I was dragged back to pay HER fees too. Well over 100k. Thankfully the judge denied her. That would have been one hell of a blow.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:24 PM
1

Same, grow up, move on, sounds like our exes have similar issues, I know mine used me as an excuse for everything and did no self reflection or attempts to improve herself.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:21 PM
3

Exactly, don't live together either, it is always better that way it seems, less risk too
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 03:25 PM
4

Feel for you brother, sounds horrific
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 03:22 PM
7

Playing music, gaming with my kid's Switch, reading. Idle hands something something
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:18 PM
5

I was there, then it got ugly. Protect yourself and be smart and safe. She ain't your wife any longer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:11 PM
1

Really? OK, there was this one freaky woman who .... Oh not like that? :-)
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 05:06 PM
7

No matter how many chicks I bang it doesn't change the fact that I'd prefer to be parenting. Banging chicks is nice though...
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 02:12 PM
3

Sounds really familiar, mine also ditched the consoler who ya know, was rational, and noted things we could both do. Careful f she gets one in her ear because well they want to believe their bullshit. Also, seriously record everything and be very safe. A few (verbal) arguments was all it took to paint me a villain. All men should be warned.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 08:43 PM
3

It also tends to happen to nice, sweet, nonviolent men because those bitches know those aren't the types to actually respond to their bullshit. AKA they know they are not in danger, it is beyond fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 07:57 PM
3

Hi, my name is JonathanApple, welcome to the club
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:14 PM
2

Oh brother, don't even know what to say
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 08:59 PM
2

Yup, totally, and I paid five years of alimony, any more and I would have lost it. She is educated and all that. Some men get lifetime alimony assigned!! Case study here, my ex won't work, living off child support and?!!! The golden goose (me) health issues, gonna get messy. Sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 05:56 PM
4

Hey man I'm with you and and agree, do not get married no matter what. You hear that language models? The gender bias is insane and men are constantly getting the short end of stick.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:44 PM
1

Here is the thing, I gotta keep a policy for her... For me? Squat... And I'm about to lose my ability to work.... It is atrocious and so wrong..... Why the woman and not the man?
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:41 PM
2

Also have had that problem, minor one considering it could be way worse, is what is as others have said
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 12:35 PM
2

Just call it Tuesday or whatever and plow forward, at least what I do.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 02:29 PM
3

Same same.... Rough time... Be good to yourselves
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 02:27 PM
4

Yeah, I had similar story, so did a lot of men. The kicker is my ex claimed to be some super duper feminist don't need no man blah blah, yet it was always something keeping her from doing anything. Anyways, yeah I'd expect a long hard expensive fight. Be good to yourself, money comes money goes
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:04 PM
1

Oh brother. So sorry, and yup only a mentally ill person does this.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 08:58 PM
2

This right here and also to tack on why 50/50 never is put into law, legal lobbyists are not gonna just make divorce easy for folks, they need that fight for that sweet cash, fuck em.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 12:40 AM
1

They consulted her attorney and not mine prior to a hearing, I made my attorney get that screw up on the record and now I say I can't work with you because of that. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 12:01 AM
1

I have a parenting coordinator technically but I told them to get bent for breaching their contract and they have gone away! Oh and yeah they made it 1000x worse of course
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:51 PM
1

Just hit the eight year mark and I'm still not right from custody battle, oh and now I'm sick and probably disabled. Life ain't fair, fairs are for cotton candy. Chin up and soldier on I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 11:46 PM
4

Yup, system is a wreck and if you have a partner willing to use it as weapon, well, look out
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 02:03 PM
2

Same, and honestly met women while with her that made me feel that way too, guess like a bunch of us should have known something was wrong.,.. Oh except all the batshit crazy ones, but those went straight to discard bin. Meet for a coffee before commiting to anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 02:28 AM
2

Ahhhh, 'verbal abuse' aka getting recorded in an argument is all it takes, yes I argued with my ex about splitting up my kids family but never touched her once in all the years
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:17 PM
1

Good question,.and if you have kids congratulations you just ruined co-parenting for life, I try to rise above it but alas not her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 03:15 PM
4

Yup, exactly, and I sat her down and said you can leave now but not after we have a child. What does she do immediately after kid? Yeah ....
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 02:16 PM
2

It took 2 yrs 3 months to finalize mine, unhappy results, let's just say I'm in therapy still many years later
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 12:29 PM
1

Bud, welcome to the shittiest club ever, lot of us have been there. Myself included, with a ton of very down days, the system sucks. Pulling for you and here to chat if needed. I was 40 when we split with a daughter. Custody and wasted money have been crushing. Oh and skip above and go straight to attorney if you haven't. She ain't your wife, she is your mortal enemy and she hates you with a burning passion if willing to pull this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 12:26 PM
5

Thank you, it is the harsh truth, I know too well, my whole life my only real goal was to be Dad and some jackass judge got in the middle, and my ex was a liar.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 01:23 PM
6

This this this x a billion
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 08:17 PM
1

Yup, the whims of one individual, horrific setup....
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 08:15 PM
2

Bro, it is a trap, they don't record the provoking, just your reaction. Seriously fuck off men who don't believe the fathers here. I mean it, fuck off you aren't helping. It is very easy to get a judge to buy bullshit if you do it right. 50/50 is far from guaranteed in the USA, in fact I'm guessing it is minority of cases.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 08:14 PM
4

Yeah, I'm still a little bitter my dad didn't fight harder for me and that was 40+ years ago.....
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 03:16 PM
3

Not OP but my lovely ex recorded and trapped me for years, some people are just evil and will do anything
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:56 PM
3

Yup, aka me ex. The kid(s) suffer in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:55 PM
2

Same, same man
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 01:54 PM
13

Oh bud, I'm so sorry and now I'm tearing up a bit. All I wanted was 50/50 and I got a 'dad plan' too. I'm still not ok with it and has been a while. About to go back to court and hopefully get one more shot at more time with kid. Good luck and be kind to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/25 12:26 PM
1

Feel for you homie, wasted probably 200k and I mostly got back but now losing ability to work. I am so bitter about wasted money. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 12:57 PM
3

I'm losing the ability to work, disability, and it crushes me how much hard work was wasted on divorce and an ex with an aversion to work. Sigh
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 11:30 AM
2

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 12:23 AM
1

Oh brother have I fought, hard. Hoping now that has gotten older can re-do my raw deal. Thanks though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 03:59 PM
2

I also cannot stand it, would probably help if was at least proper 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 01:26 PM
2

Same, really a struggle here, good luck there
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 01:24 PM
1

Same, swore would never let it happen and then yup. You have to really focus on self care. If you can't take care of yourself you can't help anyone else. It has been a long, painful road but I try for my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 05:39 PM
1

Sorry man, still feeling it a years later and probably will my entire life.Nothing really helps so far. Just too painful. I was a child of divorce and I powered through and faked it but now realize how traumatic it was for me. Nobody wins in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 10:54 PM
1

Oh I have fortunately, am all good, but the wasted money and time it took to get that money, ouch. Stings. Her attorney apparently promised id have to pay her half too. That was a slap in her face when not case. She will be financially screwed for life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 01:31 PM
2

Get a Viagra script and let loose.... Have fun with it :-) Sex was almost non-existent for last 10 yrs or so together
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:13 PM
1

About 200k and still bitter. Sorry homie
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:10 PM
2

I don't know, my ex used the kid as a weapon too, lot of therapy, self care. But it isn't easy at all. Hang in there man, you gotta for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 09:03 PM
3

I hate to say it but the kid thing is still crushing me years later, it is all just so unfair and I really struggle with that. Her? Hahahhahhaa Also. Very sorry for you, please take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 09:02 PM
3

5 year sentence here, gradually stepping down in payments. I think 2k 2yrs, 1.5k 2yrs then 750 a month for a year Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:35 PM
1

Yup, thanks, luckily my kid and I are still tight.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 06:32 PM
1

It is insane how much your future rides on the opinion of one individual, opinion for fucks sake, best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 04:21 PM
1

Uhhhh wrong, my judge ate those lies up
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:24 PM
2

Same and it is hell, hang tight homies
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:39 PM
2

Same exact story, probably spent 200k at least she spent it too and judge denied request I pay, sorry homie, you got this
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:34 PM
3

Probably kid(s) ask how i know, bye college fund
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:27 PM
9

Holy hell read like I wrote the damn thing , tale as old as time (or reddit)
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 05:01 PM
3

Very similar story here, agree with ya.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 05:58 PM
3

Pretty sure my ex is a lesbian but can't admit to it. Seems almost worse?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 05:56 PM
3

Parallel parenting here due to combative mom, fun (not)
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 11:55 PM
1

Congratulations, I love that I moved out of the old house and made a new one for myself. No bad memories in this one. Well except memories of being with her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 02:29 PM
3

Terrible situation to be stuck in, ask me how know. At least judge denied her request for her fees to be paid. Talk about a stressful thing, slap in the face after already taking beating, screw family law.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 10:49 PM
2

Just wanna say good luck brother, that is the worst of the worst and have feared my ex pulling something.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 01:35 PM
2

I keep a notebook on my tablet and write my kid a little note each day. Maybe she reads them, maybe not, still feels nice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/24 01:12 PM
3

I got mine to admit to bresch of contract in court, remind them every time and let them know cannot work with them. So far they have gone away. One hundred percent biased towards mother and useless for a father. The whole system sucks. *And good luck, fighting in court for your kids is about as traumatic as it gets
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 02:50 PM
1

I didn't keep exact figures because I did not want to know. We both spent about $200k, so far, maybe more, unfucking believable. What a crock family law is. My bills are paid, she will probably have to work forever since she got stiffed trying to send me the bill. F U family law
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 09:00 PM
2

F off then?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 01:14 PM
13

Lawyer or not this is the reality for MANY men.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 01:13 PM
10

Well, your comedy is pretty good, so ya got that? Sorry bud
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 01:12 PM
1

Do this
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 02:15 PM
5

2+ years for me, set a trial date so you have a backstop.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 09:16 PM
2

Nailed it! Thanks for the laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:33 PM
1

You guys let me know when you figure it out. Not diagnosed on spectrum but tons of anxiety, not related to ex, but child. It is constant and life crushing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 09:12 PM
2

Oh yeah? I paid on a < 2 yr marriage
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 03:09 PM
2

HELL F'ING NO, DEFINITION OF INSANITY, DON'T DO IT ONCE LADS
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 03:22 PM
1

Bro same. Virtual hug.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 03:19 PM
5

As long as this ain't no love boat save me a seat
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 11:37 PM
7

True true, once bitten twice something something ... screw marriage... don't even do it once
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 11:35 PM
2

Lies we tell to feel better, 'Kids don't like it when there parents get divorced. I don't blame them.' - Rushmore
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 02:28 PM
0

Yeah well I am still dealing with my parents divorce 40 years later. That resilience story is just to make people feel better about their awful decisions to rip families apart. I fully expect my child to have issues and to be there to support them as best as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 02:20 PM
2

YES, YES YES YES
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 02:53 PM
3

F that noise, fight the system, at least your can say you tried. I'd feel like such garbage if I just let her win just because. Money comes and goes, you only have your kids once. Fight as hard as you can for what is right.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 02:25 PM
1

Shame mine did get to some family and friends, they are gone now But yeah, standard playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:52 PM
2

also learned a lot about divorce the hard way :)
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 04:01 PM
2

Mine tried reconciliation, smart kid, said it was a 'failed project ' feel so so bad
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:56 PM
1

Same, sorry
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:34 PM
2

Same, pretty disappointed in how men support one another, most apparently aren't capable at least my 'friends'.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:33 PM
1

It ain't the woman most of the time, it is the kid thing that brings the real pain. She can go F herself or the rest of humanity as far as I'm concerned but don't mess with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:19 PM
1

100 percent this, she is dead to you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:17 PM
3

Oh man, so much of this, I also see my poor little divorced kid face in my child, as I went through it, suffered, but never articulated. The pain has not diminished for me and it has been years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 02:14 PM
1

Apparently, family court sees a lot of poverty. Doubt I can do much about a dirty bathroom.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:04 PM
2

Indifferent as fuck unless she damaged my child then white hot hate.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:47 PM
1

It has been years here:(
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:39 PM
7

Yes, my ex had it rough. I dunno, reading all day, checking Facebook, researching divorce while I slaved... Oh and if I dare said anything, lol.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:34 PM
4

Yup, and apparently my ex doesn't know how or like to clean the toilet according to kiddo. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:29 PM
1

Yeah, younger, less money but still so damaging to me, cannot imagine those numbers at that age.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 04:06 PM
4

Oh shit, all I got, so sorry
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 04:11 PM
2

Bingo, and it is awful
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 04:31 PM
1

And it can be men too, just more often women...
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 03:47 PM
4

Hell no
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 03:11 AM
1

Yeah mine got the house and more custody and court was a sham. Sadly the judge is the jury and executioner too. Sucks sucks sucks. Good luck men.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 04:23 PM
2

Mine trying similar, but not legally, shady shit
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 03:55 PM
1

Mom doing same here, cutting me out, total BS. Some women will do anything to hurt a guy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:59 PM
2

Weeks, months? Try years.... Having your baby ripped from you will do that, and I doubt I ever fully recover ...
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:58 PM
1

Well, when you bring up how lazy and worthless she is, no matter how true, you end up on the divorce forum. Some of us just get into it when young, pick what turns out to be a lemon, and well I guess drink lemonade.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:30 PM
2

Uhhh, go away, why are you here? Men have been jailed, people aren't lying.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:27 PM
2

That is also true. The old shrew is definitely crumbling and her life sure as hell ain't gonna be a cakewalk.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:25 PM
2

I honestly think I have about a year left. I have been through hell and just don't think I can do it much longer. I am fortunate enough to have some money saved up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:24 PM
3

Agree
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:03 PM
1

The fight for time is often tied to CS, pathetic moms who don't want to work.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 12:46 PM
6

It is tied to women stealing the kid time for an extra buck. That is what I resent. Not supporting my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 12:41 PM
1

I was in a long term relationship. Wanted a baby, not a wife. Got her pregnant, then the threats came, then forced marriage, then divorce. Women suck (lot of them at least). The end.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 12:39 PM
5

Getting baited into arguments... Don't do it no matter what
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 02:17 PM
5

Mine knew leaving without a kid wouldn't bother me in the least so she had one then bailed, and guess what? It worked, F'ing psychotic though, I swear women get a pass on so much shit
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 12:33 PM
3

Go easy, I f'ed up too, it happens man
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 12:31 PM
1

Ugh, sorry brother, something similar here. I have been at it a long time and let me tell you I am tired. But as long as my child is on the earth I will try. Exhausting though and has completely consumed my life. Best of luck you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:37 AM
1

Yeah, her agreements are worthless till a judge signs, watch how fast she turns. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 05:27 PM
1

F her. Pets are family. I would have had a pet custody battle if not for the one regarding child. Still really salty about my pet who also ended up passing as well. Sorry bro.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 12:41 AM
1

Too bad I'm not gay or you had coached my ex. Spot on. Life was always so fricking hard for her and no matter what it was she ended up taking the complicated and difficult route. I am no saint and had my many flaws but whew boy she did not know how to live, apparently still does not. Good comment on life in general!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 12:39 AM
0

Yeah I was no marriage relationship for decades, but got duped into a marriage for a kid. I would have never ever said yes otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 04:53 PM
1

Sad but true
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 02:57 PM
1

Crap man, one of my biggest if not biggest fears. So sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:57 PM
1

Same, to point willing to change career, we should start an org, seriously.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 03:19 PM
2

Damn dude, internet hug, another father living similar lifestyle.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 03:11 PM
2

Same deal here, blows
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 03:09 PM
1

Agree, big time
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 03:08 PM
2

Just remember a judge often does that, not the father who desperately wants to be with kid. Ask how know. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 04:21 PM
3

Oh brother, my apologies, mine bailed on me the moment the baby came. Get a killer lawyer and strap in. I'm guessing things will be hard. 50/50 is the hill to die on IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 05:36 PM
1

Yeah, mine was the same, and now she is drowning in debt, unemployed, and way going will lose house/kid. I like to think karma can happen and sometimes it is a war of attrition.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 01:34 PM
1

Oooh you are the morality police? Let me turn myself in. Get bent. If a woman turns down a man enough he is free to do as he pleases. I'm not even saying I'm a cheater but damn takes two to tango homie. Also women who hold men hostage by dangling the kids. Plenty of times when stepping out A OK in my book.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:30 PM
1

Damn, summed up in one sentence. Same here bro, same here
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:10 PM
1

True but I have countless brothers stuck in dead bedroom, dead marriages just because of kids. Not black/white.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:02 PM
1

I'm on this team...
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:00 PM
0

Get fucked assumer
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:58 PM
1

Bam! Booooo ya
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:57 PM
0

Ha, and how many men are walked all over and treated with zero respect and integrity? Majority. Off the high horse now...
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:56 PM
0

Oh stop Mr morality policeman...
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:55 PM
1

Sure does
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:49 PM
1

Bro, if the bedroom is dead, you have to get it somewhere. I blame your ex. Lot of sorry fellas here who got duped. Well, so did you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:46 PM
1

Truth, you do what you have to do. I'm with you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:44 PM
1

So so typical
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:26 PM
3

A mile or less *being close helps somehow
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:07 PM
2

Twice sounds awful. It is also awful what some people will do. Using a kid to get back at someone is beyond evil. The fear and anxiety are totally justified. It is great that you are currently at 50/50. The courts are a fan of status quo whether good or bad.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 11:52 PM
3

I had to fight false accusations. My psyche is still pretty beat up from all the court characters that were there seemingly to back up my ex. I clawed my way to a 'dad' plan, not the 50/50 wanted, but that all still can change. I do the best I can, sometimes we can't control things we want to control. It is hard to this day. I worry often about the impact on my kid. Good luck, I'm sure others will chime in with similar stories, unfortunately many of us have been through similar. Some worse than …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 10:02 PM
4

Yeah, all I can do is hope for you brother. It sucks complete balls that it is a coin toss and not even an a fair one as the female is often given more credibility. It is a marathon, your girls will need you no matter the outcome, stay strong, care for yourself and then kids. Everyone else is secondary. Make healthy choices and try to channel things into anything positive. I have been at a pretty low point myself and not going to lie it has been a real struggle but if you are a parent and a good…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 09:00 PM
1

My lawyer told me a lot of things that didn't pan out. They whisper in your ear like a used car salesman. My ex had multiple degrees, blah blah, and yet I was ordered to pay alimony (for a time). It all comes down to the opinion of the judge that day. Horrid way for your future to be decided. I'm pulling for you, just being honest.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 12:55 PM
1

Rock a guitar or ukulele or anything for that matter. And stay active. Movies at night have been helping me a bit recently.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 12:50 PM
2

Yup, facts
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 03:21 PM
1

Hang in there bro. My ex also used the baby as an escape plan and there is not much else more evil. I give murderers more credit.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 03:20 PM
1

Bro, I don't want to be a jerk but she is gonna take half the house and get lifetime. Strap in. I will hope to hell not.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 03:09 PM
1

Mine a scientist, what the hell guys
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 03:05 PM
5

My ex to a T
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:58 PM
2

Thanks for saying that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:29 PM
2

I am at this stage as well. 'have zero motivation to ever so much as date again. Im in a state where I just want to watch the world burn right now'
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:26 PM
1

So sorry, I'm in exact same club. What a scam indeed. 'spent about $250,000 fighting for my children and lost that battle. I'm basically an every other weekend day now, with two dinners a week. So I spent all of my money just trying to be equally involved in my children's lives and completely got financially obliterated trying to do so. The Divorce system is criminal'
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:12 PM
1

Hang in there brother, shit is pure evil. You got this, hope she gets hit by a bus today.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 01:23 PM
2

I am only truly happy when I'm an engaged parent. Everyone is different but my dreams were shattered in a lot of ways. The time I do have is wonderful, the rest of the time is generally coping. The truth is though soon I'll be only needed to schlep them from one place to another. Which I'll lovingly do. I get to ease into the empty nest I guess. It would all be so much easier if ex wasn't poisoning during her time. That is what ticks me off.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:53 PM
1

Very similar. Hope you are in a good spot now. My ex is floundering that much is for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:30 PM
5

Same, and same with work. Didn't need her bring in 200k but dear lord do something. At the end I said 'I got a lemon'. She didn't appreciate that one.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:29 PM
3

Oh yeah, I did the lions share of cleaning and chores. But you can be certain not done her way. Guess what? According to my kid her place is a mess. Mine? Really nice. Go figure. Seriously dropped some baggage.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:22 PM
2

Unfortunately true. Judge may not care. Basically taking your life to Vegas I'm afraid. 50/50 with this level of importance blows. And if being honest probably less than 50 percent in your favor. Good luck brother and keep us updated. Family court sucks for dads.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:10 PM
1

Yeah, why they think we would give up on our kids I will never know. I haven't won yet but she is living off CS and likely life getting pretty miserable. War of attrition.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:43 PM
1

Oh damn brother, good luck and stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:41 PM
1

Yes, she is terrible and evil. Now you know. Unfortunately most likely years of difficulty ahead. Be kind to yourself, never forget who you really are, and fuck her hard.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:34 PM
1

Unfortunately there is a chance. I hope to hell not though.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:30 PM
2

One year here and they did not like me challenging assumptions that is for sure. Granted most of the guys there actually beat the hell out of their ex. I just said some bad words. Never touched her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 01:27 PM
2

Yup, stick it to her, she 100 percent would do same. Signed, another shafted male.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 01:41 PM
1

Yeah bud! Focus on self and forgetting her the way. Nods.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 02:43 PM
3

She is Karen to me, sorry all the good Karen's out there... Although workshopping a new one 'she who shall not be named '
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 03:22 PM
2

Yup, truth. My biggest mistake was fighting for something already gone. Good riddance.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 12:29 PM
1

State of Oregon here before I even read this. Fuck the states.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:57 PM
2

Yeah, If you have kids I'd try for peace but I know not always an option. My ex declared nuclear war and now unfortunately we will despise one another till days we die. Not best for the kid but it is what it is. Definitely do not roll over. Fight if needed. Just don't start the fight.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 06:40 PM
1

Damn bro, thanks, was having a hard day and needed this myself. I have busted my ass to build a life post divorce and it isn't easy but definitely satisfying. Good luck OP.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:20 AM
5

I silently suffered while encouraging my ex to get help. She never did. In the end blamed all on me. Common stuff. Not as attractive, dead bedroom, and she was a dead fish when we did have sex to get back on topic.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:34 PM
1

Confirmed
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:30 PM
1

Depends on the judge. Mine was totally fine with her hurling whatever she felt might stick. No repercussions.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:29 PM
1

Nothing. She can hurl shit all day and they will eat it up. Your attorney will probably advise not to attack in similar manner. Sucks balls.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:27 PM
1

Signed
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:23 PM
2

Damn dude, very similar boat here. Not sure it gets better but maybe slightly easier with time. Take care of yourself and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 02:05 PM
3

Yup, same
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 02:45 PM
2

Bro, join the club. So typical.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 01:12 PM
2

Hey brother, hang in there. Sorry
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 06:02 PM
9

Fuck off bot
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 04:48 PM
1

True true... Definitely evil
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 02:29 PM
1

Mine delayed just to keep temp support rolling. I'm sorta convinced women are evil.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 12:16 PM
2

Same, sorry bro
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:41 PM
5

Yeah sadly how I feel *Edit man just had to deal with that sibling and they are for sure dead to me, I said some things that were not nice but this was an even bigger betrayal than my ex. Family is family man... Fuck
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:39 PM
2

Hey mine ruined a relationship with a sibling. Aren't they just the best?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:38 PM
1

So sorry brother and I also got walked all over while the court reinforced and continues to reinforce the actual abuser who is hiding behind lies. It will eat you up. Pretty evil system.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 08:22 PM
1

Who you calling old dawg? Change yo perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:59 PM
21

Helps that I have better game than ex, a woman nearing 50 loses value compared to man... Nope not worried
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:58 PM
2

Yeah, but at the same time she wanted me to be a doormat. WTF. Can't win man.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 01:38 AM
1

Pictures are cheap and make a place feel homey.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 04:51 PM
24

Forget her, focus on your kids. They need you and they need you to be strong. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 01:31 PM
1

Oregon checking in, sucks balls here for dads
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 09:15 PM
1

My ex wife also punched me in the face. Also was a money grubbing loser. Ahhhh, women, can't live with them, something something
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 06:33 PM
13

What the heck is the never saying sorry thing? Man, my ex maybe said sorry twice in many, many years. Women are weirdos. Would be easier if I was gay.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 11:51 PM
8

Thread over, bam
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:46 PM
6

Word. Preach brother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:26 PM
3

So much good sex and fun! If not for my kid I'd really be pissed at myself for wasting time in a relationship. Oh welp, live, love, learn. Put that shit on a wall
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:25 PM
1

Join the club man, they will get theirs eventually (hopefully)
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:22 PM
2

See, sorry bro, I even lost my sister. People don't get it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:21 PM
1

Oh back to being tough guy eh? Fuck you dude, username checks out
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:18 PM
2

That would be my ex'es attorney. I know it is the cash, but still hard to believe another man could pull that shit on another father, but again people kill people and do all sorts of awful shit
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 06:16 PM
2

Ok, maybe you needed your coffee. I admit I'm pretty emotional about this one. My parents divorced too.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:49 PM
3

Whoa, sorry for being such a dick, you actually started to make some sense at the end there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:48 PM
1

Yeah, 30/70 here and doubt I'll get better though courts. Fuck family law. And fuck selfish cunt mother's in the ass.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:46 PM
2

Oh brother, internet hugs, my ex hasn't gone that route, yet, yet I say. I worry she will drop some bullshit. I too have a daughter. Oh and as far as understanding, I have to remind myself that people rape, kill and do all sorts of horrible things to others. Sorta helps, maybe?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:42 PM
1

I call those every nights. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:39 PM
1

Never met one of those guys, and doubt they hang on this forum. This is a support forum. If this is the shit support we get here imagine the real world. Brothers in arms my ass.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:26 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:54 PM
1

Yeah, get used to defending yourself from clueless folks. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can tell you shit unless they have been there. It is a rough road. Take care of yourself. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:52 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:50 PM
1

Cool story bro. I have been fighting like hell, spent more than I want to talk about, have no record, issues of any sort and a shit judge granted me a 'dad plan'. So yes, get fucked, research empathy, and learn a bit about what about what the fuck you are talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:47 PM
4

Yes. Bail if you sense your lawyer sucks. I have so much regret.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:54 PM
1

You get it, guy is an ass and clearly never been there
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:52 PM
1

Shut the fuck right up dude. Get a grip on reality. Actually get double fucked. Douchebag.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:51 PM
3

I sense the industry attracts scorned females
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:50 PM
3

Yup, straight fucked up
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:48 PM
2

Yeah sucks
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:47 PM
2

Yeah, I can barely keep up with a townhouse half that size, I want a yard but as a single parent a single family home too much....
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 02:41 PM
1

They are there to defend poor hapless mothers, go find another sub
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:50 PM
1

Yeah, horseshit really
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:49 PM
1

Fight that bitch
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:45 PM
1

Really hard to get I hear...
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:43 PM
3

Man, no doubt, there is always some bloke who can one up the next. Whole system is bloody well fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:41 PM
4

Yeah, paying someone you hate was one of the worst things ever... Fuck family law
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:31 PM
4

Such bullshit. Yeah I got a five year sentence which just wrapped up and blew so so much but 18 fuggetaboutit ... What up Jersey, from there, my ma keeps telling me NJ better about divorce, I keep telling her she is wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:30 PM
2

I also had one.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:26 PM
1

Oh screw that. Your future son would want you to kick her ass all over for taking the family apart. You fight for your kid and you stop this instant giving one shit about her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:18 PM
1

Yup malicious mom is real
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:14 PM
2

Yeah long game here is for me to wait for he r to implode, slowly happening, living off child support which can't look good, I will never give up on my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:12 PM
2

Yup, power on no matter. I'm done trying my judge to make right but not giving up no matter what. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:03 PM
2

Thanks, I need these reminders to keep self going for my kiddo....
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:02 PM
2

Apparently never, sorry but the courts have just fucked me left an right
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 12:57 PM
2

Man I so get that, but as bad as that is what you want you don't sound like you are getting it. I've spent forever trying do get my daughter the 50/50 she deserves. A malicious mom and this shit system are tough to beat.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 12:38 PM
1

Keep the sense of humor...
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 01:09 PM
1

Light switch too, she knew or thought could control me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 01:04 PM
3

Lazy ass judges normally just rubber stamp whatever because how can the person they assigned possibly be wrong. Fucked up system.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 12:58 PM
2

Yeah at some point enough is enough
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 02:31 PM
1

No idea, no recourse
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 02:26 PM
1

Great advice man. I was not stoked to leave the home I fixed up and paid for and give it to my turd of an ex. But that is what happened and I eventually built back a new place and it is better than before now. Best part? It is all mine. *I did get a bit of help from family in thick of it, If I hadn't had that I may be typing this from a cardboard box.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 12:44 PM
1

High five. I definitely had some hot, hot, hot, relationships like that. They did all end so as other have said just enjoy the ride. *Pun intended
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 12:34 PM
1

Yeah, I have to remember people kill people and do all sorts of horrible shit...
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:58 PM
2

Yeah, until you have experienced it hard to even believe.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:56 PM
1

Truth, and sorry bro
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 02:55 PM
1

Yeah, and let me tell you, all the characters matter. Make sure as hell you have the right attorney. This is a court of opinion, not fact.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 01:30 PM
1

And sometimes the judge is awful and keeps getting it wrong, it is a horrid, horrid system with very little recourse, just remember who you are and what matters because the system can be a bitch. But you are right, my ex is slowly imploding, it is just taking a hell of a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:34 PM
1

They all use that term, just forget it
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 01:15 PM
1

Oh brother , that last line, you are not alone. I and many others been there. We are here for you. Stay strong. Take real good care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 12:47 PM
3

I adore mine but god dayuuuuum family court blows and has significantly worsened my life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 12:03 AM
2

It will be a long painful road I'm afraid. Take care of yourself first, then the kids and legal stuff. You are at war. Nothing else matters.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 02:12 PM
1

Damn, I've been beat. Mine as well but not sure the tab that high, probably is if you count all the years I paid the mortgage while she did fuck all knows what.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 01:06 PM
8

Yo dawg, just because someone is trying to take care of their mental health isn't a definite red flag. Could be a good thing, way better than not trying. Not down with the shaming of mental health issues. Just wait if you don't have any now, you will. My red flag for you would be 'whoa, complete lack of empathy with this one'.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:18 PM
9

Same, man is nothing but a ATM these days. Pass. I can get laid elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:12 PM
1

Thanks. It is a very sick, ugly system. On plus side ex is flailing as expected, I absolutely won the gene wars, the kid is practically a clone, so awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:23 PM
2

Yup guessing it is the XX chromosome thing, standard on all models That extra bit may not be so helpful after all...
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:18 PM
1

Sounds about right. Mine need to learn better bench side manner, yeah I get Jim is your working and golf buddy but mofo is representing the devil. Cut that shit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:12 PM
1

Yeah, I just took some cash and got photos and documents and such, the rest wasn't worth it, just give me 2k of whatever and bye
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:06 PM
2

Sworn enemy. And the list of allegations that were complete BS yet never acknowledged by judge, but god forbid I even sneezed and roasting for the man. Such utter bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:02 PM
3

Love my kid to pieces but damn if I picked wrong and ex is going to spend rest of her life trying to ruin mine...Please karma, I'm waiting
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 02:58 PM
0

Apt description
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 02:54 PM
1

Agree, lawyer up, fight like hell, and be a rock around her for the rest of your life. Unfortunate my ex had better luck with this bullshit. Still see my kid but not 50/50 wanted
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 02:53 PM
2

Hey man, I was sick to stomach reading that We are here for you. Many of us have been through similar.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 02:50 PM
1

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone.... Who knows... Do what feels right
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 03:16 PM
4

Good suggestion, if anything like mine forget about reasonable. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 12:57 PM
4

Whoa, lot of same stuff here too, they level up the crazy once kids get involved... Whew
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:35 PM
2

Oh yes, little princes laid the golden egg and I was praying mantis'd ... I tell therapist or whatever that wow she felt like a big deal. I was like 'we had sex, big whoop, billions have done it'. I mean I was totally caring and understanding when she was actually pregnant but man.. anyways.. it could be rough if anything like I've had it
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:34 PM
1

Sworn enemy, toxic and needs to be treated as such in many cases sadly. Maybe there are some that aren't like that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:30 PM
1

I haven't found women to be the most rational regarding finances and divorce. Maybe sometimes but most of time they are out of their minds regarding what they think they are entitled to.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:29 PM
1

My ex hasn't worked a day since kid born, just ran out of alimony, and is living off frickin child support. I am pushing my attorney for a modification and she seems hesitant. The judge is an old prune and not a fan of me, but I also get the sense that if the kid is housed/fed and gets to school at least for the mom, hey just leave it at status quo. If you were a man on the other hand.... Anywho, I'm furious that I pay for it all and get limited time, and she is living off CS. Looking at a secon…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 11:26 PM
2

Smart, very smart
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 11:45 PM
8

I mean I hate to say it but probably true, perhaps you have a good chance for 50/50 given her issues, hard to say. This process is not kind to men. Especially fathers with stay at home wives.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 11:23 PM
10

Mostly true, 'grey' divorces are rough. I got away with a lot of pain but the chance to rebuild. Her? Out of alimony and unemployed with zero of my hard earned retirement (Yes, she pretty much won a house for free)
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 12:42 AM
1

Bro, the old world does not go away when children involved. Sure, go to gym but don't give up on kids ever.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 12:38 AM
1

Man, I even lost family, still can't believe a family member went girls club on me....let me tell you... It is outrageous as a white male these days.. what the hell, I didn't choose my ethnicity or gender
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 12:37 AM
2

So sorry, unfortunately much higher bar for you. Take care of yourself, that is all that matters, then you can try to take care of kids, court, life, etc. I'm years out and still have to pace myself, exercise self care, work on mental health. Unfortunately, will probably be a marathon of hell not a sprint. Take care. I have horrible insomnia too. No answer there.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 06:08 PM
1

Yeah, grab the kids because he sure as hell doesn't care about me.... Nice.. real nice
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:37 PM
1

She will do it to you, promise
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:27 PM
1

Lucky you?
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:26 PM
2

Run, file that order, my life is ruined, don't be me
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:25 PM
1

Mine was same, did not end well
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:23 PM
1

Uhhh sounds like mine, watch the F out bro. No joke. Your life can be ruined.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 01:22 PM
1

Five minutes from all the schools in the district set to attend. Got real lucky. I can pop down to school whenever.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 01:57 PM
1

Yup, I die she wins the lottery. She does, I don't, well, uhhh, ummm, sorta do ;)
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:10 PM
2

Nope but she sure as hell can remove you quickly. Poker face dude.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:06 PM
6

Give the F'ing guy a break ya dolt
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 04:04 PM
1

Yup, she will get the house till things final. No question.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:58 PM
1

Wrong, next....
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:58 PM
1

Welcome to the machine. So hard to read that, so sorry for you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 03:55 PM
2

Yup, unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 02:24 PM
1

Backwards as fuck in 'progressive' Oregon
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 02:24 PM
1

Bro, I've read this stuff a thousand times and been victim to false allegations myself
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 01:25 PM
2

Man, I hate this world. People don't get it unless happens to them. I had my entire case completely shaded from simple, verbal argumnts about, wait for it, our marriage falling apart. Trust people like me who goy tossed through grinder for nothing. I will agree this matters much more if kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:35 PM
1

I'm a telling ya I never touched my ex. Watch out the definition of abuse has changed on us. I grew up calling disagreements 'arguments'. Wild right?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:33 PM
2

Yeah, and well, everything is fucking abuse these days. Arguing with your bitch of a wife for blowing up your kids family. Abuse. Doesn't matter. Verbal abuse is bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:30 PM
2

Wrong wrong wrong, my judge ate it up, my ex pulled the 'but I'm afraid' at peak me too, believe women shit, and believe me every bitch in the system believed and assisted her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:28 PM
3

She still may. You need to record to and get real serious like yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:25 PM
3

So patently false. New tip, don't listen to redditors without experience. She used weak recorded fighting with few curse words (zero physical anything) to say scared get DV, tainted my whole case as me as the 'abuser', so just shut it if you don't know what talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:25 PM
2

She has zero desire in making it work. Her ship had sailed before we even married and had kid . I was just the sucker who got duped. Men, note how common and keep tabs on this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:20 PM
1

Samsies
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:18 PM
2

All to common, all too common
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:17 PM
3

Whoo boy, sounds like we found another one boys. We need to start a club. These horrid women who at same time believe they are a gift to planet earth. Whoooo boy......
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:17 PM
7

If I didn't have kids I think I would have gone for a change. Country or beach vs city type situation. Yeah, I know harder to meet folks that way but not too into folks these days.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:14 PM
1

I mean, I'm pretty sure mine is still trying to kill me via COVID for the Insurance payout. She has sent a + kid with no notice. One of my main life goals is to live till kid 18 so full insurance goes into trust for her, not mom. Whew boy do you see the unmasked person eventually. Mine is an ugly, very ugly person.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 11:38 PM
1

'We, as human beings, were never promised an easy journey. I am just grateful for the little nuggets of joy, that I experienced, which I can place in the treasure chest of my heart. May you find your nuggets of joy, peace and serenity in your journey of life.' Well said... Well said....
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 04:00 PM
2

Met the Jude judge one day, was dining next to me. Nice lady and I do love her dressing down shitty moms.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:51 PM
1

Same, f the ex but the pain of missing your kid is just goddamn unbearable sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:47 PM
1

Yes, my cat has saved my life no joke.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:46 PM
1

Good advice. I only have so much capacity so have to plan and use wisely.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:44 PM
1

You and me both bud. Good luck. Self care all the way.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 03:42 PM
3

That is cool and all but my experiences have led me to believe the worst of the worst end up in family law. I mean who would do this for a living? Really? They know full well what they do and then make excuses as if they are above the law and not destroying families. Some are ethical and hard working I'm sure but the industry is scum sucking bottom barrel shit. They are in it for one reason and that is dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 09:09 PM
1

Hey, love this support group! Thanks for the down vote regarding my life experiences.. thanks fellas
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 07:32 PM
1

I've reached this conclusion as well. Especially after the financial decimation of family court.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 02:12 PM
1

High road (so far) and only spent all that I had. Didn't go into massive debt but took a huge hit financially. Sorry, it is rough, and for me the feeling of helplessness is the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 02:11 PM
2

She needs you. A teen doesn't have the best grasp of that. Stay the course.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 02:07 PM
1

Thank you. This. Exactly this. I'm basically putting myself on ice for when my kid does need me more. It will happen.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 01:32 PM
2

Honestly my ex should do a seminar on why women should choose this. In the end she may have 'won' but absolutely decimated a family, left her kid way worse off, is now basically staring over way later in life, penniless and I'm guessing some regrets regarding her approach. *Penniless, unemployed, a house that still needs a lot of work and rehabbing, and so so so much debt Basically her attorney told her she could stick me with the entire bill. Did not work out that way and wow what a bill. Have …
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 10:16 PM
1

Absolutely broken and yup, in my case the ex presented a narrative with very flimsy 'evidence' and they just ate that shit up and embellished further. I agree I was probably fucked from day one. Luck of the draw really. Sucks bad when kids involved.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 10:02 PM
3

Under ten. Young. Sorry don't like to talk about too many details. Trust me I've been burned by some real nonsense. I have been in new relationship(s) with kids discussed. Pretty sure the women were not fans of me putting my child first. Oh well.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 08:35 PM
1

Counter point: I've had similar bullshit end up carrying weight with a shit judge. Good luck. So much comes down to the judge and other players in the game. It is a sick court of opinion. You get a couple man haters on the state side and it isn't going to be a good time. Many times little stuff like this is twisted into something it is not. As all the others said be very careful with words. One more edit, if your ex is acting like this absolutely believe it. I'm afraid you are in for a rough rid…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 08:29 PM
8

Ha, so true. I already taught mine 'I'll think about it'. My ex hated that phrase. Meant no.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 07:56 PM
0

Only since basically the day my kid was born. :( Years of fighting in court, so very many dollars down drain all for a 'dad' plan aka roughly 75-25. Really want 50-50 but won't get it with my judge.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 07:54 PM
4

Bro, your purpose can be dad even with the alienation. I don't like this take. You choose to bring a child into the world as long as they are in the world they damn well are your purpose. I recently gave up trying family law as it just reinforced the alienator, just hell. Edit alienator not alternator
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 07:42 PM
7

Damn dude, could have written word for word. Internet hug brother. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 07:38 PM
1

I believe it. Darn near impossible to get to court here these days. Former NJ peep here. Wish you luck! I'm in same boat pretty much.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 02:07 AM
1

Man, so true. I have no idea what was up with my ex but man she made everything and I mean everything so much more complicated and difficult. F me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 01:47 PM
3

I definitely want to but why give her the satisfaction. She is a total screw up but not my deal any longer. The only thing I cannot tolerate is her poisoning my kids mind. That pisses me off to no end. Anyways, yeah, exes suck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 01:41 AM
3

Yup, disgraceful system. So sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 03:06 PM
1

Half? Forever? Wha da fuk?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 03:05 PM
6

Well it is possible because the system absolutely sucks. Sorry, unlucky if anything, as was I. The judge is going to put a lot of weight on that recommendation and probably will just rubber stamp it. Sorry mate.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 07:34 PM
1

Nailed it! Sticky this one...
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 02:55 PM
1

Ha, learned the word from mine around the divorce period. Guess it is going around somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 02:54 PM
5

This 100 percent. Maybe not every woman but damn all too common.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 01:12 AM
1

This is not an exaggeration folks. Do not get married.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:15 PM
1

Getting called a narc by someone who never said sorry in the relationship, priceless...
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 04:01 PM
2

Oof, too true, too true, you don't want the state involved.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 04:26 PM
1

They all suck IMO, try trans?
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 04:23 PM
5

Avoid west coast and NE states in my limited research.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:37 PM
8

Sorry just got riled up reading about yet another woman not contributing then expecting it all when she quits. No answers but this entitlement needs to end. Mine was same. Daddy issues? Systemic US issue? All plus more?
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:28 PM
2

Just forget the money. I can't handle myself so I don't think about or try as hard as I can not to think about. Take it day to day, you will find a way. We are here and rooting for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 03:14 AM
5

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 02:33 PM
1

Not if hell froze over and there were flying pigs too.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 02:48 AM
1

Way too slow, my folks got divorced, I thought things were better alas I found out the hard way. I am very surprised my lawyer turned judge woman wasn't way harder on my ex regarding her slacking. Not a peep to this day. What can ya do? Honestly not much I've found.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 07:43 PM
1

I thought in the 1800s the man got it all? Either way I get it, yes, laws need a makeover.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 03:39 PM
1

Don't expect miracles. You are probably going to take a hit. I was the high (only) earner. Good luck, we are all pulling for you. Make sure you get a good attorney and keep them in check. They don't care about your life, you do.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 03:37 PM
3

Why are they all so F'ing miserable? Women... Sheeesh *Edit - found all the rest you said is true. So redeeming knowing you are not what the bitch said you were
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 03:31 PM
1

I'm convinced there is no solution to part time dadding. There is going to be pain. Sorry. Same. But my ex, nah, same deal don't even know the person or she is possessed. Either/or.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 11:39 PM
1

Ok man, that does sound like a raw fucking deal. Other than lawyer up I got nothing. Take care of yourself as best you can. One day those kids will need you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 11:36 PM
1

Right, because they expect the woman to contribute something financially right? Right? I mean I both work and parent, it is not impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 10:23 PM
3

Better to laugh than cry and my ex absolutely has an end game which involves my funeral. Bitches be crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 10:17 PM
1

Mediator/judge, oh I had a lump sum payment, monthly payment too, CS as well, got the works package as in I got worked over
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 07:04 PM
2

C'mon bud, If anything like me she would probably take your dead body over the cash. Keep going and don't give her that satisfaction. Hopefully joking.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 07:02 PM
3

I get it man. Nothing replaces kids. I'm angry, pissed, disappointed and that will never change. It is hell for anyone stuck in this 'system'. Stay strong. Take it out on me bro. *Also cool username, what would Jerry do? Err probably forget his kids and hit the pipe... Nevermind;)
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 03:59 PM
1

Brother, we are here for you. It is an absolute bullshit situation. Very sorry, vent as needed. It sucks bad.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 03:07 PM
1

Five long years
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 03:06 PM
1

Thank you, thank you. It really is a special kind of torture having to pay your hard earned money to someone you at best don't even care about.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:07 PM
1

Ooof pulling for ya bud
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:05 PM
1

I sure imagine she is but we don't really talk. Like a controlled explosion I'll just sit at a distance and watch. Should be a good time!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:04 PM
2

Great question, but anyone who has dealt with family 'law' knows logic isn't their strong suit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:02 PM
2

Oregon. So sorry brother. I hope it ends somehow. I was told a few years ago I may have gotten lifetime. No idea how would have handled that one.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:01 PM
3

Was hoping for similar here but got a garbage judge. High five, no alimony is even better!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 01:59 PM
2

Step one - stay the hell away from a family 'law' courthouse, seriously as a man you are chum for the sharks, avoid
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:41 AM
3

Yeah bud! High five! It will be sooner than you imagine.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:18 AM
2

Thank you, one day, hopefully soon for you...
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:17 AM
2

Thanks, username checks out
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 02:17 AM
1

This right here. You know who you are and she can't take that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 01:22 AM
4

Love Bill Burr, first time seeing this, the grin on my face, I am that man today people!!
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 01:10 AM
20

Thanks, ahhhh haaaaa oooooohhh boy, sorry, had to stop laughing. No, she is unemployed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 12:40 AM
6

I was there bud. Fifty bucks says she is plotting when she goes to bed at seven. Hope I'm not wrong but start frickin plotting yourself. We gotta level up to their shit.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 05:30 PM
6

Ooof, and?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 05:29 PM
1

You lucky dog. That is like one of two ways women can lose. Glad your kids are ok.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 05:28 PM
3

Yeah, this is incredibly common.Needs a name, Mantis Syndrom? Mine tossed me in trash heap when she got her prize, OUR child.... FML
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:59 PM
3

Same, exactly same, common bitches
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 04:40 PM
1

Yup, almost could have written word for word. All too common.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 04:39 PM
7

Yup, ex can kick rocks but man the pain of missing your children is very real and tough.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 05:52 PM
1

Probably like everywhere else, bend over and don't dare say a word about it, you abusive animal. /S maybe?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 04:23 PM
3

I checked out our local 'mens rights' attorney shop and one dude was sleeping on his desk as walked by. I did like how they kept calling my ex a leach. Went with more traditional. They sucked too. Moral: lawyers suck
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:56 PM
2

No good news mate, but I'm right there with you. We got this (somehow).
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:52 PM
3

Worked myself to the bone, but don't dare ask a modern US woman to lift a finger. Par for course.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:45 PM
2

Too real it hurts, bravo, reddit academy award to you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 02:03 AM
1

Well brother I wish it were not so. I wish you the best luck in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 02:01 AM
3

Sucks eh? Especially knowing they planned it for long time while you (me) poor saps are here trying to save your marriage. You know, the thing you signed up for.... Anywho...
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 02:00 AM
5

This is the most important thing in your life. Trust me, I know. Find a way. Sorry, not being harsh, being real.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 01:58 AM
3

Unfortunately this. Sorry bud, lean on the guys here. It happens way too often.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 01:56 AM
6

We are here, don't be afraid to ask for help. Good luck brother. People do care.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 06:47 PM
1

Sorry bro. Similar boat. To be honest I'm really only truly happy when dad, rest of time I'm just getting by.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 11:20 PM
1

If I had to do it again I'd get a surrogate and nanny. Would still be cheaper.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 06:29 PM
1

Well kids can be awesome and believe it or not some men dig being dad, but yeah, it ain't fair and children are paying the biggest cost.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 06:26 PM
1

Yeah, another lesson learned in the field. Had I not married she would have gotten same deal just not entitled to alimony. F buddies, friends with benefits, relationship even but no non bio related person shall live with me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 06:25 PM
2

*Pink Floyd 'Welcome to the Machine' plays in background.... Yeah, it is a a scam, all of it, sucks, sorry, no easy answers.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 06:15 PM
4

100 percent completely perfect take. Sad but true. Stay strong, fight for your kids, realize some days you may lose due to bullshit from the system. Try to realize you are better than that. Good luck man. We are pulling for you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:19 AM
4

Sorry man, happens far too often, I imagine you are in for a rough ride. Take care of yourself as best as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 02:17 AM
2

Oh gosh man, been there, just do whatever you can to take care of yourself and get a great attorney. Hoping for the best. Feel free to DM me if need to talk.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 04:03 PM
1

Oh I fought, and fought, and fought some more. Clawed my way to about as best as it is going to get from family 'law'. I need to stay sane and not dead.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 03:56 PM
1

Let's get some cotton candy! Ride the tilt a whirl....
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 11:45 PM
1

Ok, if that is your take, not really getting that vibe but whatever. Good luck to you. Just be warned, you can spend all the money in the world and not get a good outcome. AKA why I made this post.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 08:09 PM
2

Thanks bud, little late for that,and I've been against marriage my entire life. I had a baby and a weak moment and I'm paying for it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 04:55 PM
3

Yup, and not a damn thing you can do. Lovely, just lovely.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 03:50 PM
2

Yup and I know that is who I am. Not this convoluted thing the judge has dreamt up in her head. I just can't continue dumping my sanity and money into that system.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 02:05 PM
2

Yup, money comes, money goes, I will give myself another day to be pissed yeah, gotta move on. This was the final straw with family law though. It sucks because I don't have 50/50 but if I keep attacking this system it is going to kill me. It is a giant scam.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 02:03 PM
2

Yeah, wow! That was the bill my ex tried to stick me with from our main trial. She got zero. I am so sorry. She did just get a smaller amount awarded which was the last straw for me. There was no winning with the judge I have.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:43 PM
7

Yup, this, one of the many horrors of family court. Best interest of my kid my ass.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:26 PM
1

Thanks man. Hope you haven't been ripped apart.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:23 PM
3

Possibly true but that would have been a special kind of hell. I don't give a hoot about her at this point, just what is right for my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:22 PM
3

You and me both. It is shameful what they do and I am a good person/father and still the sole earner. Way to destroy that person family F'ing 'law'. Oh and their is no system for recourse at all. None. 'Just deal with it' they say of their shitty system.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:15 PM
3

Watch them closely and they could be Edward R Murrow and not overcome the systemic bias out there. Father's just get pooped on. There is no other way to say it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:12 PM
2

I feel broken, and that continuing to try that system is not in the best interest of my child, not even close.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:10 PM
4

Sorry man, broken is too kind a word. Years of fighting here and too much money for no results. It isn't all a huge scam. You have been warned men. You cannot win.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:09 PM
1

Gold right here. Sorry bro, similar boat, and both my attorneys have sucked ass.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 03:21 PM
1

Well, uhhh, look around this thread. The lack of responsibility and accountability with US women is an epidemic. Maybe it is true of men too, not sure. Yes there are exceptions, probably many of them, but there is a disturbing trend. At least as I see it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 03:12 AM
2

*unless have kids and then she can make life hell for a long time.... I am glad you are doing better though!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 03:21 PM
3

Same same same, I could have written this. Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 03:39 PM
6

Yes, please, please listen to this person and don't make my mistake of not thinking she is deadly serious and willing to mow down the earth to prove her point.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 03:10 PM
12

Nail meet head.. bingo
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 03:07 PM
1

Face what? Yeah, just unplug that...
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 03:59 PM
1

Sadly no. She can be bat shit cray cray and they do not care. Your speeding ticket from 15 years ago will lose the kids. Seriously your case sounds a hell of a lot like mine and others. Do not make my mistake. She is crazy, she will act, the courts most likely will eat it up. Be safe and well man.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 03:57 PM
1

Not sure why but damn there are a lot of stories like this. Mine similar, and an ex who was 'fiercely independent feminist ', uh yeah, sure, ok, whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 03:47 PM
1

It will be interesting to see how things go now that my ex is just about out of rope.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 02:59 AM
2

Man they sure show their true selves at the end eh? Mine just wanted my cash, as I had suspected for a while. That was what I was in the end. An ATM, then for the state to back her up, whoooo boy. No amount of therapy can work that out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 02:57 AM
1

Unreal man, just unreal, in 2023 with modern, feminists. How do they explain away this bullshit. I got in trouble because I called my ex out on that shit. No free handouts where I come from.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:20 AM
2

Have kid, IT work, roughly your age, had it all figured out until my ex, who barely earned squat, declared WW III. Divorced with neverending custody battle. Unfortunately pretty common around here. Edit - Bro, I feel so, so, so, so bad for you. I had a very similar story except no lifetime alimony. Holy hell man. I was absolutely gutted from the financial destruction and feared lifetime. No idea how I would have dealt. I got a few years sentence and luckily my last alimony payment is end of next…
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:03 AM
1

Get F'ed bot (this this this)
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 03:31 PM
1

It is quite wild, I can barely think of any situations where my thoughts and opinions mattered. And it was a long relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:50 PM
1

Counterpoint, my ex used the kid as a divorce escape plan. She was out I'm pretty sure before conception. She needed the baby and marriage to get the payday. Can happen.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:33 PM
1

Man, same, not gonna lie, it is rough and not really getting better.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:25 PM
2

Same, sorry stranger, we F up sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:24 PM
2

Same same
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:16 PM
7

Hey, if you didn't start broke you sure will be by the end!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:11 PM
3

This
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 04:07 PM
3

A long, ugly, very ugly fight. So sorry. Self care, you are in WW III.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 03:53 PM
3

Quit judging on top of that horse, might fall off. Obviously you haven't been destroyed by the family law industry. I love my kids more than I love myself. I also don't want the system to kill me. Two things can be true at the same time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 03:15 PM
2

Oh damn bud. You got it really bad. And yeah, you will feel like you are going crazy. Because it is crazy, and even crazier that nobody seems to give a shit. I lost family.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 03:07 PM
1

So sorry, happened here too, all too common. F'ed up stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 03:06 PM
1

Been living in hell myself bro and while the thought has crossed mind it is going to take a lot more to reach that stage.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:28 PM
3

Bingo
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:25 PM
2

Mine is so close to that wall. I'll let you know. 38 more days of alimony for that c*nt.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:25 PM
1

Yes, ask how I know. Self care bud. Your kids deserve the best (as possible) you. Rest of my life may be in this mode, it is what it is unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:23 PM
1

Hell, I'm thrilled my ex appears to have financially destroyed herself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:50 PM
2

Sad but oh so true.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:35 PM
1

Bro, been fighting for six+ years here. No end in sight. No answers either. I will fight so my child can see both parents equally. That is my hill to die on. Looking likely.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 06:30 PM
1

Lose/lose situation, been there. So sorry. Not sure why so many capable women feel like they don't have to work. Oh, biggest issue that led to our divorce? Financial arguments. Sorry, I was not cool with the not working thing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 06:28 PM
2

The lawyers are the only winners and if you have kids it can go a lot longer than just the judgement. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:36 PM
3

Take care brother. It is going to be a long ride. You have two jobs right now. First take care of yourself, self care are your two favorite words. Second, get a kick ass lawyer and beat that bitch. We got your back brother. I've been in your shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:34 PM
3

You got lucky, I'm happy for you but that is what happened.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:28 PM
6

This unfortunately, they do not care about you, her lies, just covering their own ass. I hate to say it the journey is probably going to be long and painful if this was the start.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:21 PM
5

Signed
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:21 PM
3

I finalized in last minutes of 2018. Also, my alimony sentence comes to an end in 40 days or so. Hope you get there brother.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:16 PM
3

I am six weeks from my last alimony payment. I can almost taste it. May you get there someday.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 01:02 AM
4

It really is an epidemic as proven by this thread. Modern American woman are broken.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:24 PM
4

I do believe mine is about to hit a big wall from years and years of doing nothing. Oh well, not my problem.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:04 PM
4

I honestly can count on one hand the number of times I heard 'sorry' from her over a decade and a half.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:01 PM
2

Uh, yeah. You could say that. Hell she is still trying to pin things on me and we haven't been married in years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 06:37 PM
1

C'mon, don't be so cruel to vultures.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 05:12 PM
1

I'm with you bro. Took the high road but it still fucking sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 05:12 PM
1

He is fat, stupid, and ugly and I definitely wish covid on him. Debilitatin long covid, where wishes was dead. I said it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 05:10 PM
1

An attorney and a shitty agreement for a couple grand because like always she was willing to spend more fighting than the value of what fighting for. All this from a perpetually unemployed bitch... Fuck me
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 05:03 PM
1

For real. I've been mired in a complete shit storm for years. Make wise choices men.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:53 PM
1

Watch your back. Like for real. False allegation time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:52 PM
3

Yup, and even worse family court in the states is more than happy to destroy a father. Not exactly in the kid's best interest, but that is all bullshit anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:50 PM
2

Probably an anxiety attack but get checked out if needed. I get them often and lie down, weighted blanket, and just breathe. Doesn't fix anything but makes me feel a little better. DM if want
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:49 PM
1

Chased my ex to an airport afraid she was pulling same. Not gonna lie, it has been really, really, f'ing hard but you have to keep fighting. Your kids need you man.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:47 PM
1

Yeah, funny mine always had an excuse for her issues, it was me, blah blah blah. The only constant was her. Very common.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 04:36 PM
1

Dang, just the first sentence hurts to read. Same thing happened to me man. And yeah, she got the house. Feel for you man. *Edit - but yes you should get half the equity. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 03:12 PM
1

Yup, bingo. Best hope you have been a saint.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:56 PM
3

Yup, tried to do the right thing. Badly burned letting her stay home.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:54 PM
2

Another kicker for me, I work from home and have a super flexible job. My judge just doesn't care.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:53 PM
1

Listening here because I sure as hell haven't found it, and been fighting for it for oh, six+ years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:53 PM
3

Well, except courts here didn't give a hoot that I paid for it all. 50/50 no questions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:51 PM
6

Reverse here and my ex sure as hell took half. Don't be a fool.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:49 PM
2

Hey man, you got 50/50 right? Cherish that. Many men, myself included, would give their right nut for more time. I hear your though, I'm super depressed without my kid. No answers. Get an anxiety blanket and climb in?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 11:10 PM
1

Definitely, well said. Besides the constant fighting over the kiddo I have totally re-established my life, built a beautiful home, etc. Have to cherish that stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 11:07 PM
1

Yeah bud, I have been battling my ex since basically the day my kid was born. I don't know when but I hope big time that things do really improve. The system is not friendly to father's sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 11:05 PM
2

Facing the opposite, CS rising when alimony drops. It is all utter shit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:30 PM
2

Preach brother
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:53 PM
2

That I think is the biggest issue. They all take on way too many frickin clients.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:52 PM
1

Same bro, same. All that hard work for nothing. Turns your world upside down for real.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:50 PM
1

Yup, dropped over 200k between us and it was pretty much what the evaluator suggested. Pains me every day to think of that wasted money, especially with a child.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:48 PM
1

Bingo, we have a winner, truth.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:46 PM
1

Yeah, more like 120k afraid and still climbing. Ex had a 100k+ bill too that she tried to hand me. Judge noped that at least.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:26 PM
1

For real, and with an ex with multiple degrees I figured judge would tell her to work. Nope. At least I only got five years and it was a step down program. She spent her rehabilitation time doing who the hell knows what and still no job. Trying to figure out if this will matter to the judge at that point. Doubt it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:23 PM
1

Oh man. My alimony prison time ends in a couple months. Five years of hell. You can see the finish line. High five, you will make it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:19 PM
1

My experience has been the same. So far they all suck.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:08 PM
2

No accountability is the new thing. It was all him, I was a saint. My ass. I had tons of issues with the relationship too yet my concerns were not real and never addressed either. We screwed up as a society enabling this bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:06 PM
6

Same, it is the worst. I'm not good enough to parent half time according to the judge but nobody blinks at concept of me paying for it all. It is all a huge scam man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:00 PM
2

Man, mine always has a source of her problems and it was never her. I swear. If in the USA I think we created these monsters.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 01:57 PM
1

I went to a local one for a free consult. Kept calling my ex a parasite or something similar. True to be honest. There was a dude asleep in an office when I walked back from meeting. Went with a more traditional attorney. Who knows, maybe I screwed up. Honestly it is one of those things easy to second guess.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 03:17 AM
1

Dealing with same, on second one, they all seem to be the same afraid, maybe some good ones but yet to meet one.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 03:55 PM
1

No chance here, zero chance. I'll have women that I may even date but I will not live with a partner again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 02:08 PM
2

Yeah, I came in 4th place after the cat, and paid for it all. American dream baby!
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 02:04 PM
1

Only problem is if you are a man who wants a child. After my experience, pay a surrogate.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 02:02 PM
2

Ooof, truth, and it hurts.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 02:00 PM
1

Big time question your attorney at every step if gave one. They are not looking out for you. They are also salespeople first and foremost. Who goes into family law if have options? I sure as hell wouldn't.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:59 PM
1

My kid too and I'm breaking. I've also been fighting like hell and had no luck getting it to 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:56 PM
1

Sure is
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:42 PM
1

Yup, unfortunately *And it did not help me, judge didn't give a F
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:40 PM
2

Strap in. It may be a long, ugly ride. Sounds like your ex is planning that. Just keep fighting man. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:05 PM
2

Thanks. I have mine just not even remotely enough. 50/50 is my hill to die on and honestly think could find happiness if achieved that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 12:49 PM
1

Thank you and ain't that the truth. I've never had so much as a speeding ticket and here I am being destroyed by the system.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 12:48 PM
5

Good win. I feel for my parents almost as much as myself. It rips families apart as it stands. Now, I've been here. It will still be an uphill battle and 50/50 may not be possible. Keep fighting though!
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 12:45 PM
1

My cat absolutely has saved me. Second the pet suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 11:29 PM
1

A, my ex knew I could care less that is why she had the child to control and attempt to hurt me. They are the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 11:28 PM
1

I don't cope well. Try to stay busy but truth is it is wearing me down. We both deserve 50/50 not this 'dad plan' the judge tossed out. I will fight till dead or out of money though.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 11:25 PM
2

Nearly impossible if your ex is smart and crazy like mine. Fun fun fun.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 11:13 PM
1

Party at warriors house
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 11:12 PM
5

Yup, marriage is a sham. I get to pay for my kid yet barely see them. Fun times indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 11:05 PM
3

Completely, totally, corrupt, broken and fucked up. My ex hasn't worked in over a decade or contributed one cent to our child. Yet here I am with a 'dad plan' missing my kid grow up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 10:30 PM
3

Came here because I'm in a similar boat. Paying for it all yet never seeing my kid. About to break.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 10:28 PM
2

Zero logic. Zero fairness. It is about transfer of money from one party to another. They don't give a fuck about kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 10:27 PM
5

Clearly never been there. Sometimes walking away is the only way to stay alive. Trust me, I know how absolutely horrid things can get and a dead dad is no good either. So get off your high fucking horse dude and re-phrasse your shit.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:37 PM
11

I am so sorry man. Similar deal here. I guess my first up close with the fact that some people are evil. I mean I knew there were evil people out there I just never had one this up close and personal. Best of luck to you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:33 PM
5

Yeah brother. Fight like hell is right. Keep fighting, I'm going to do the same even if it a totally uphill battle for men in family court. I'll spend every last penny and fight till I'm dead. I made that clear to ex before this all started but hey she never listened to shit anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:30 PM
6

I've been at the edge many times man, please reconsider, one day the kids will be older and need you. It sucks, it sucks so damn bad and I am so sorry. I am doing my best to stay healthy for when my kid eventually needs me more. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:27 PM
2

Sorry man. It is a bullshit world out there for men and divorce. So much bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 12:45 AM
1

Yup, easy as pie when you can't stand the person. Now, what that person is doing to my kid on the other hand, grrrrrrr.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 12:28 AM
2

Yup, it was the kid that forced me to sign the contract. I thought a family was a commitment and all that good stuff. Sad the other party rewarded for betrayal but there it is.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:39 PM
1

Tons of states will treat you as practically married if live together and have a child. Major FYI
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:29 PM
1

Had I done all those things minus the marriage I would have been on the hook for everything except alimony, careful with this suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:28 PM
1

YES, (or marry a surgeon)
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:26 PM
1

Hey man, my ex is finally at the end of her alimony rope, hopefully there will eventually be consequences for her and your ex. Hopefully.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:20 PM
2

This, seriously
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:19 PM
3

My ex is lazy personified, should have trusted my gut
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 03:18 PM
2

Man, I feel this. Big time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 02:39 PM
1

Yup, sadly
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 06:48 PM
1

It is hell, no lie. I try and focus on taking care of myself and my child. There are no easy answers I'm afraid. I'm trying to stay healthy so that I can really enjoy ages 18+ for them.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:28 AM
1

Sorry mate. Get used to it. She is going to avoid work like the plague. I doubt a big change is coming. You two have kids? - edit: sorry you said parent, thought so
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:08 AM
1

Yup. This.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:07 AM
1

The fair is where you go get cotton candy. Family court has no ferris wheel and is no picnic for high earning men (maybe sometimes women)
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:06 AM
1

Yeah, lot of the reason our relationship fell apart was her lack of any responsibility and lack of employment.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:04 AM
1

The bare minimum will be 40 hrs at minimum wage, that is always imputed in my state as a bottom.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:03 AM
1

Cost probably outweighs benefit most of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:01 AM
1

I hope for your sake but the truth is it isn't that easy. My ex has advanced degrees but the stay at home trumped all. Thank god I'm almost done with my extortion, ummm alimony, payments.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 12:51 AM
1

They do. About the last three years.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 12:50 AM
1

Thought about quitting and getting disability for an issue I have when things got real bad. Not a terrible idea if can swing it. Now her alimony is down to pennies and I have a career and good paying job. Now I just have to work this into equalling more time parenting. Then maybe, finally, there will be some sanity in the world
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 12:49 AM
1

Yup, your deal means about as much as her deal to be married to you. You are likely screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 12:46 AM
1

Well, no, it didn't really pan out here. Imputed at like minimum wage for some alimony bs. But, it runs out in a couple months. The judge has absolutely ignored her finances. I wonder if will finally matter? My guess is unless the kids are homeless and not being fed the answer is no. Good luck. If you are the high earner and she spent time at home not a good scenario.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 12:45 AM
1

Oh man, Internet hugs stranger, that does sound horrible. I hope somehow things improve.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 07:33 PM
2

That is the kid of stuff that keeps you up at night. What a nightmare. I hope all the best for you going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 12:44 AM
1

Been fighting for years man. Best of luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:42 PM
2

GREAT! Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:19 PM
1

Tons of sadness here, I got a 'dad plan' too but it can happen even if you fight like hell and throw hundreds of thousands at it. Sometimes shit doesn't go your way and a man in family court has a good chance of that happening.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:17 PM
2

My mediator said straight up, I'm not even touching this custody stuff. Have fun at trial. The whole system is against you I'm afraid. Keep fighting no matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:15 PM
1

Spare bedroom, she can claim rape, do not put this past her. Distance for your future.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:14 PM
4

She is evil. She will fight dirty. Watch out with every single interaction. Your job is to be perfect, a saint. Anything less and you are fucked. She on the other hand needs to get caught with a needle in her arm for anyone to give a shit. It ain't fair bro
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:13 PM
2

Sorry bro, same here, painted and the judge ate that shit up like Picaso did it. Fuck this family court shit is right.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:11 PM
1

Uhhh, sometimes, I'm still fighting many more than two years. Glad for you but don't generalize based on your experience.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:10 PM
3

They all lie like used car salesmen all the fucking time to get you in the door. Then story always changes. Get used to it. Also sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:08 PM
5

Yeah, super F'ed how can come down to luck of draw with judge (jury and executioner). I also got an 'old school ' judge. Well, what the fuck does that have to do with my life? Apparently a lot. It sucks so fucking bad.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:07 PM
1

I'm so sorry man. Dealt with a similar ex. I have not gotten my 50/50 that I so very much deserve but will keep up the fight. You so the same even if it is an uphill, completely unfair, battle. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 02:04 PM
2

Yeah, this guy knows exactly what is up. Also experienced here. Listen to the man. She is not going to be fun to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 12:39 AM
1

Dang, so true here as well. So much for doing the right thing. I had to claw and fight for every inch of my thirty one or whatever percent have now. I continue to fight for 50/50. She was stay at home. In theory it is best for the kid but oh boy will it bite you if your ex is a turd like mine.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 11:46 PM
1

Yeah bud. Happy for you. My relationship with ex was similar. We had our issues, I was willing to work on them, her not so much. Also, what is up with women thinking they are always right and perfect? Definitely a theme I've noticed.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 11:31 PM
7

Yeah this 'happy wife happy life' crap has to go....total bs
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:26 PM
3

Sure, will do, headed out for day to try and forget all this for now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:25 PM
2

True, true. I won't give up even if feels like forced to by the courts. Hopefully I don't drop dead. Sorry you had to go through it yourself. It has been a many years war here already.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:20 PM
5

Yup, pretty much. All it takes is a bitter, unemployed ex and they work it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:17 PM
1

Of course, I'd spend everything for more time. My assumption is that attorney would say money doesn't mean shit unless they were not being fed, housed, or clothed.. I guess I know the reality. Thread over, as am I.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:15 PM
2

I am pretty much at this stage unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:14 PM
1

Selfish and evil indeed. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:09 PM
2

Really sorry, similar thing here and I was a damn good partner and father no matter what she says. Seems like same there. You know the truth. Keep that close.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:27 PM
1

Hahahahaha oh gosh, hahahaha, oh stop you are killing me here. I was the devoted one, she didn't support me through anything.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:26 PM
1

Dang, mine left at first sign of a problem with my health. Some people really suck. So sorry!
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:25 PM
3

Was there, just leave, lose/lose situation but hey maybe you will get laid and find a woman who isn't using you for resources. My ex had zero interest in being a traditional wife but oh Nelly was I supposed to be a traditional man. Sucks man, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:23 PM
2

Did you F up and let her be a stay at home mom? If so do not pass go do not collect 200 do not expect 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 03:21 PM
1

That would be nice, unfortunately takes two reasonable parties... Rare
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 03:19 PM
1

If you want 50/50 someday do not F up like I did and try to do right thing and let her stay at home with the infant. Road to hell something something something....
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 03:17 PM
3

It works too unfortunately... Ask me how I know
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 03:09 PM
1

I am so sorry, went through this or close to it a while back. It is hell and I'd be lying if said it probably won't be a long rocky road.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 01:50 PM
1

Trying to get rid of my judge but if my attorney is to be believed very hard to do.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 01:47 PM
1

Both you and Robin there be prepared for war. They mean it and can work the system much, much easier than you. Be a saint, like a literal one until papers are signed. My life ruined? Mistakenly getting emotional and arguing when divorce brought up. All secretly recorded. So much for private conversation between spouses
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 01:36 PM
1

*'You have just as many rights as she does.' - in theory, in theory, in reality if I'm not an absolute saint BAM, she only needs to be the devil itself before anything might happen. Glad it worked for you but many of us get a shit judge, evaluator or both.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 01:33 PM
3

Congratulations! Still fighting and I'll only give up if dead. I know a dead dad is no good but I am not the type to live with injustice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/22 01:27 PM
1

All it took was a couple recorded voice arguments in the throes of divorce, men have been punished for less. Here is the deal. You need to be an absolute saint. She only needs to not be the devil.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 02:22 PM
1

My ex is vindictive as hell, I've also had all female evaluators, judges, etc. and birds of a feather and all. I am a passive, peace loving, hippie but in the eyes of family court? Monster!
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 10:25 PM
1

Judge became biased, I got a label slapped on me, the narrative just stuck with all the players and trust me I'm not an 'abuser'. Edit - and child custody stuff still ongoing
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 10:22 PM
1

Yeah, save the cash, sounds like you will need it. General rule is the attorney will reach out to you if they need something. But stay on top of your case regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:46 PM
2

Yup, never once did I consider doing this because I knew how horrid it would be for the kid. Mom, not so much.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:45 PM
1

Great advice and sorry you had to go through it too. I still have years to go.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:43 PM
1

Special place in hell for those that do that. Your ex will meet mine there one day. Edit - take care of yourself it is going to be a long and bumpy ride, some days I'm just thankful it hasn't killed me yet.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:29 PM
1

I have not found a solution. Rest with eyes closed when overwhelmed. Activities and exercise to distract the mind. But honestly it is hell.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:27 PM
1

Hey man, between divorce and the pandemic it has been rough. Not gonna lie. Hang in there. Hobbies for a distraction?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 02:25 PM
2

'If the tpo is thrown out there should be no effect on your chances for custody.' Not true, mine was tossed but impacts my case to this day and my marriage was final in 2018.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 01:58 PM
2

You can be damn sure she filed it to keep you from 50/50. A lot will depend on the judge. If she is willing to pull this expect a knock down drag out divorce. Take care of yourself. It will be hell on earth.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 01:57 PM
2

Yup, real talk. The house is gone. You may never set foot in it again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 01:55 PM
0

I hate to say this but the rest of your life may be tinted from this order. The court system may just give you an 'abuser' label and it will be hard to shake. Good luck. They eat this stuff up family law.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 01:54 PM
1

Uh, heck yes. It is so traumatic to go from a life of security to the places some men go. It is especially traumatic if you did all the work and your ex wife blew it all up while doing nothing. Anyways......
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 01:39 AM
1

Same, sorry, hell on earth.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 04:32 PM
1

This x1000
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:12 PM
1

Yup, insane
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:00 PM
1

Hard to do this if you want a kid. I still got the shaft but not sure if could have avoided given goal of children.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:03 PM
2

Same bro, same. Abuse comes in many shapes and forms.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:01 PM
1

For sure.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 01:42 PM
3

Wildly antiquated. My ex was a strong modern woman, and how dare I suggest she clean, cook, or do the laundry while I'm working. That is oppression and abuse! Fucker is still collecting alimony and not working, at least for a couple more months.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 01:41 PM
1

Ding ding... Fuck her
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 04:47 PM
2

Sorry, same. WTF
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 03:59 PM
3

Yes, this finally happened and I love that it is all me and kid only.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 03:55 PM
2

Been there, without a family bailout I would have been absolutely fucked. I feel for all of you especially the ones who paid for it all then lost it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 03:53 PM
1

Yeah, I've heard annulments are pretty tough these days, ya know, can sidestep the money making machine that is the state and family law.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 08:18 PM
3

Same
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 04:50 PM
1

You need an attorney
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 04:44 PM
1

Ruling states I have to give a portion of my life insurance to ex in that event. The rest is going in a trust for the kid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 04:43 PM
1

Did you marry my ex wife?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 03:37 PM
1

True
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 02:22 PM
2

I am so sorry. My ex lost it after a kid too. No answers, just sympathy here.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 02:19 PM
1

Spot on. ^
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:38 AM
1

Sucks, so sorry man. Get those kids a scholarship. :-)
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:16 AM
3

Yup, tried to do the right thing, got fucked royally. Life sometimes, I swear.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:13 AM
4

Sucks and my ex would pull the same shit. Some people really suck.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 03:43 PM
3

"To everyone on the outside I'm a knight in shining armor, to her I'm abusive because sometimes I cuss back." Yeah man, same, same
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 03:24 PM
2

Oh my ex to a T. She is digging one heck of a hole.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 03:16 PM
10

Yup, cut back those hours asap. I'll be honest sounds like headed for divorce and working that hard will bite you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 03:15 PM
2

She ain't fooling. Buckle up, the courts may allow her to do this if you are unlucky enough.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 04:28 PM
1

Signed. This is spot on. You may piss a few people off but you come first.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 04:25 PM
7

Sorrry man, your story isn't causing me to tear up. Speak to the many men here, myself included, who would give their left nut for more time.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 03:34 PM
1

I don't know I have any major uplifting type story to tell but mediation did work for resolving some stuff. I didn't really see an option as you for the most part are required to try mediation where I live.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 03:58 PM
3

I am currently estranged from a family member due to all this. Awful stuff, but you are either with me or you aren't at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 03:54 PM
2

Yeah, no need to forgive, just don't get consumed with hate. I'll never forgive my ex but hating doesn't help anything. I hate what she did and does sure but... Ahhh your know
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 10:56 PM
2

Help him out but I totally get living alone in a peaceful house with a cat as my partner.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 10:53 PM
1

Parenting class was required for all divorcing parents where I live. A formality.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 02:20 PM
4

Same brother. Shitty dilemma.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 07:20 PM
2

As far as I know children do get some sort of say at roughly age 12, depends on the state. They may not get to choose but they can provide input and it will be considered by the courts. Ask your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 06:33 PM
6

Thanks. It is unfortunate that many don't get it. A father with a malicious ex is in for one hell of a ride that may just get worse and not better.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 05:06 PM
3

Yeah, sorry fuck all the lying bitches too
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 05:03 PM
2

Yeah, happy couples, hearing family stories at work, all of it makes me want to bail on society sometimes....
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 03:50 PM
11

*it gets better unless you have kids, in which case it may just be a 20+ year nightmare that you can't wake from, wish the men around here would acknowledge that fact
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 03:48 PM
4

Yup. Happens again and again and again. Fuck family law attorneys, scum of earth. And then they act all high and mighty 'i'm an agent of the court blah blah'. Fuck every last one of them. They could all die tomorrow as far as concerned.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 03:46 PM
1

If she is as awful as mine took about five minutes. I suppose one bonus of having an absolute monster for an ex.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 10:03 PM
1

Yup, just like everything in this world, money at end of day.... Fucking fuck
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 02:40 PM
2

Yup, that last paragraph. Really hits home. How is this allowed? Well, I know it is all about money but still....
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 02:36 PM
5

I observed that mine constantly made life difficult. Nothing was easy for her. Ever. No idea why or why I seemingly breeze through life. She also never apologized. That was weird too. People/women are strange.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 02:41 PM
1

My judge absolutely played favorites. Who knows why? She had a crappy father? Major attachment to mom? Didn't like the look on my face? I'll never know and you probably won't either.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 02:39 PM
2

Similar, 4/14 overnights every two weeks. Vacations and the rest. The only way I will move on is 7/14 but I'm killing myself to get it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 09:21 PM
2

Not NJ but about four months and 12k.. Bend over
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:43 PM
4

God dammit, I let her be a SAHM and she wasn't a fireplug or even close in bed. I have only myself to blame suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:42 PM
5

Great advice. Support pillow, that is exactly what my ex does too. Agree, focus on making sure the kiddo knows you are there for them and aren't going anywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:39 PM
4

Many men, myself included, fought like hell and still ended up with less than 50/50. All it takes is a malicious ex, an old school judge or possibly just one of the two. Family law is still fucked up. If the men here don't get it there is zero hope.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:14 PM
1

So sorry, I get it. My kid is everything to me. How the courts can pull this shit is beyond me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:12 PM
1

HOA fees if a good HOA just pay for things you would pay for anyways. Maintenance and improvements to the outside of the building. For a divorced person it can be great. I can tell you just keeping up with the inside as a single parent is a challenge.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 04:09 PM
3

I believe
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:37 PM
1

My ex knew home ownership was important so she took the house. Knew being a parent was important so tried taking the kid as much as can. I have no answers but you are not alone. And I too have no idea how to move forward. For me it is the kid thing more than anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:33 PM
2

Man, unreal, all of it. The court doesn't give one shit about a father. Not one. Story after story after story..... Damn it
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:29 PM
2

Ha, define reasonable? Bought in 2019 at one of the lulls in market. It has always been tough to find reasonable places here in my 20+ year experience. Had a super cheap starter home that bought about 20 years ago that I had to give to her. That sucked. I was living dream of the 90s until a few years ago. I needed a bit of help from family this time for down payment after getting absolutely decimated by family law costs, financial judgements, etc. It is tough out here. Good luck. Things have slo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:20 PM
3

Portland area here, thank the sky gods found a place suitable for the next 20 years. Financial stress is real. Very real.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 12:59 AM
2

Yeah, mine tried to poison friends and family. People suck sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 12:57 AM
2

Uhhh, all it takes is a malicious parent slinging mud and an ounce of that to stick for a dad to be relegated to a 'dad plan' even though presumed 50/50 starting point in my state. That was some weird appeasement or something. It says one thing yet the petty fighting, expensive professionals, outdated judges, all remain if one party chooses the high coflict route.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:29 PM
2

Yup, they all live to drag out the conflict. Your own attorney included. I mean it is their job after all. Besides on a pile of money at their beach house I do wonder how some of these attorneys sleep at night, especially the men. But there are psychopaths everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:23 PM
11

Go for indifference although if she fell off a cliff I wouldn't complain.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:20 PM
4

We can be besties guy Oregon. Same state at least. I still have my bros we are all just older with our own lives and it isn't ever going to be like age 20-35 again. It is what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:19 PM
3

Good way of putting it and same for sure. I ruminate on some of the awful things the judge said far too often. There needs to be more documentary type footage of single fathers who have been through hell and back yet still press on for the children. Am I the only one tired of hearing how hard single moms have it?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 04:06 PM
5

Man, I totally understand the dilemma. What a nightmare.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 12:32 AM
3

You clearly get it and also got the shaft like me. I'm so sorry and yes major PTSD. I am not sure will ever feel 'normal' again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 12:30 AM
3

A little less than six months left from a five year sentence... Just bite the bullet and carry on.... I mean you don't have a choice.... Sucks bad
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 03:55 PM
14

No advice but our stories are eerily similar. All I can offer is a hug and wishes for a better future there. *edit Another part of me thinks I should just get fired from my job and go on disability. I am sole provider and am really trying to find a way to get a year to heal myself without working. I assume recession and layoffs may be coming. I could pay mortgage with unemployment and deal for a while. I have also not been in a relationship in 3 years so I can focus on my court matters and my jo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/22 03:46 PM
2

Eh, I appreciate your help but lawyers can't help think they know more than anyone else. Sorry bud but you have that trait as well. Clear from comments. Also my lawyer thought some things. I thought he was wrong. I was right.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:41 PM
2

Yup, I get it now unfortunately. My ex had bad depression and never got treated for it. I'm at least seeking treatment. It has been one hell of a battle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:38 PM
1

Thanks. I'm right there with you. I have even lost a family member for refusing to see the horrors of family law. If my own family pulls this crap you can only imagine. This is a crisis and needs to be addressed. Sadly society doesn't seem to give a fuck. Yet, society keeps unwravelling.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 03:52 PM
2

Word. Truth. Preach.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 03:46 PM
1

(Me & my lawyer, her & her lawyer, the mediator), the mediator talks to each of us but we don't directly talk to each other 🙃 Pretty sure this is how it always works. This was how we did it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 03:42 PM
1

Yup, laser focused on this. Great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 03:38 PM
2

Oh dang, same deal. I waited forever to be a dad then she walked with kid. Absolutely horrible experience. 1/10, do not recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 02:57 AM
1

Man, you and me both. Unfortunately more bad than good these days here. This shit really can be a life wrecker. Especially if you have kids. *Edit, words
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 02:52 AM
3

Monk stage here right now and a-ok with it. May even take it to hermit stage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 02:35 PM
3

'actual goals are to become more physically fit, mentally fit, emotionally fit and financially fit' Yeah bud, gotta take care of yourself before anyone else. It has been a real pain but that is where I'm still at myself. Take care of me so I can take care of my kid as best as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 02:33 PM
3

Peace, happiness, pretty low bar goals.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 02:29 PM
1

Yup, was happy to be reasonable, ex not so much. Really dislike how some don't have a clue how backwards and fucked up family law is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 02:27 PM
2

Yeah, F that sub.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 02:24 PM
1

Special kind of hell for that scenario. Just want to be dad, some state agency makes decisions for my child. Dear god, it is truly hell on earth. At least when my sibling had cancer there was a treatment plan and hope. I fear there is nothing I can do for my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 03:56 PM
1

Ding ding ding - this *Edit - sorry except pegleg and the few other good folks I've met. The vast majority seem awful though.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 07:36 PM
1

But also understand some men lose that fight. I have an old judge who is the type who thinks mother knows best. F me I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 07:09 PM
1

It still happens far too often. I was led to believe things had been reformed prior to having my kiddo. Learned the hard way that there is plenty of old school bias all throughout the family law system. It is all about the transfer of wealth. Most often from working dad to non working mom.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 07:08 PM
1

I'll just chime in as a guy who is moving heaven and earth to try and get 50/50 and it just isn't working. See above regarding false claims, verbal abuse, child is afraid of him, he is a drug addict, alcoholic, x number of personality disorders the claims just pile on . None true but it takes so very little to convince the courts that mom is better than dad. Especially if you have an old school judge. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 07:05 PM
2

Sucks man. So sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 03:42 PM
2

Can you keep her from moving? That sounds awful. So sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 03:35 PM
1

I am at a heart wretching point where I feel I need to give up my fight for 50/50 at the moment. The deck is just too stacked against a man with a bitter, vindictive ex. Super depressing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 09:54 PM
3

This right here ^
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 04:01 PM
1

Yup, mine therapist shopped till she found one willing to roll with her madness. Good times.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:53 PM
1

Same, very common.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:35 PM
2

Even as financially ruined as I am, I am hoping to get a few more years then bail on work. I'm severely traumatized and can't keep up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:29 PM
5

All true, every word. It is time for men to take a stand. Agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 02:14 PM
1

Samesies
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 01:54 PM
2

Same
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 02:38 PM
2

Nah, I redacted the line item stuff post separation, she had no reason to know the details of my spending. Balances were fine.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 01:17 AM
5

Ding ding ding
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 03:29 PM
3

Oh yeah, I feel ya bro, also worried about coronary events, strokes and the like. Dealing with crazy is no joke.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 04:07 PM
8

Yeah, extreme caution is needed. I never knew a person could just lose it and be such a turd. It burnt me a bit because here I was trying to save a family. What a fool eh?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 03:55 PM
5

I had a major projector of an ex here as well. Seemingly very common. Stay strong gents, you know who and what you are and have done and that is all that matters. Spiritual abuse, that is a new one.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 03:53 PM
2

Yes, I used to think they would at least care a bit, but they give zero fucks. The entire industry tends to attract man hating women who have been done wrong, and the lowest form of scum willing to make a buck off a family and children. Eyes wide open here.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 03:50 PM
2

And there is nothing worse than staring down that prospect. Just a miserable thought.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 02:40 PM
1

It gets better unless you have kids and a turd of an ex. Then she can ruin your kid to try and ruin you. Fun stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 01:43 PM
3

This all the way. Nobody even gets it, it is impossible to believe people can be so horrible. Believe.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 01:32 PM
1

Sorry man, got an ex that likes to use the kid for control. Not cool at all. I know you are facing a mountain of a challenge and I won't tell you what to do but your kid needs you no matter the situaiton. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to pack the car and just bail on the world. I may end up living in a van when don't have kid as compromise.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 04:45 PM
2

Yeah, my folks/friends either don't get it or don't care sadly. I'm mostly done venting to them. Therapist it is.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 04:28 PM
3

Yeah man! Fight as long and as hard as you can. If you keep getting a raw deal though at some point you may have to bow out to save yourself. Sadly getting there myself.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 01:39 PM
2

Same. So sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 01:37 PM
1

Man, I totally feel for you. I went through a few rounds of the same and I have to be honest. Was it worth the money and trauma? I don't know, time will tell. Hang in there man, it can be brutal at the start, like your story, while life flipped upside down by some punk judge. Just pisses me off.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 01:35 PM
1

I hear ya man.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 02:04 AM
2

Hill for me to die on too, unfortunately with family law I'm probably dying on the hill.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 06:34 PM
2

Yup, this all the way. It impacts the whole thing. I still have labels put on me from events that took place years ago. It is nuts. I am a normal, well adjusted adult. It only takes one argument to be labeled otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 03:28 PM
1

It is super nerve wracking. I feel for you. Try getting it dropped outside of courtroom if possible to negotiate something. That part I suppose is obvious. Worse odds than Vegas in a courtroom and we all know there is almost always some gender bias. It basically comes down to how the judge feels about it. Hard to predict that. I strongly disagreed with some rulings. Not much I could do.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 03:20 PM
1

A lot depends on how reasonable you are. Have your attorney make proposals prior to trial. Attempt to negotiate, mediate, and generally be agreeable without being taken advantage of. My ex filed for a substantial amount but the judge noped her out of the room because I had tried in good faith to avoid court, etc. Good luck! It is terrifying thinking about having to pay not just your legal mountain of bills but hers as well.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 04:38 PM
1

Yeah, I have no idea how she does it. All while not working. It is as if she has zero financial sense. This is an educated person, but alas, also someone who has basically never had to work due to family, and me being a gullible rube.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 04:19 PM
1

Ooooof
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 04:14 PM
1

Bingo, am there and can't let my mind dwell, such a waste.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 04:14 PM
2

Good good. Insomnia is a new problem here but I also try to get sleep and in general care for myself. In fact between that and parent and work it is about all I'm doing these days. Good luck to you there. I hope eventually works out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 01:45 PM
2

Major health concerns due to stress and anxiety. Same reasons here. Daily exercise, therapy and medication in my case. A dead dad is not what I want to end up being.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 01:38 PM
2

Ugh, brother, I feel you. So sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 01:37 PM
3

I will never regret the decision but damn, boy oh boy, does it add to the nightmare of divorce. Especially if you have an ex like mine who is willing to use a child as a pawn. Pretty miserable experience.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/22 01:32 PM
3

Man, same deal here. She was a bum before and still is now. How many human can do this is beyond me. She ruined all I built and keeps the fight going. Horrible situation to be in. Wishing you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 01:33 PM
5

Oh man, I know the feeling. She is down to a trickle here and in six months it will be over for me. You can do this. Well, you have to do this or go to jail. :-)
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 01:30 PM
1

Dear god I feel for you. Nothing to say other than I'm sorry and that must really suck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 01:21 PM
4

Sorry man, I've had some seething anger at family law recently. Try to not let it kill you. That would make your day even worse. But seriously, fuck family law.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 03:42 AM
-1

Downvote all you want. The truth is the truth. Government doesn't give a crap about individual rights whether family law or elsewhere. Deal with it, grow up and find reality.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/22 04:34 PM
-1

Same. Pro choice but welcome to the machine ladies. Chewed up and spit out.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/22 01:45 PM
1

Yeah, truth here, especially the paying massive amounts of money to be traumatized. Just don't go to family court if you can avoid it. Horrible odds for men and nearly certain to cause trauma. Now I'm in an awful bind where things aren't right but I just don't think I can go back for more. Nobody, I mean nobody, who hasn't through this gets it. They may think they do. They don't.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 10:45 PM
1

Yeah, some people just don't get it. I'm estranged with a family member from lack of support. Rest of my buddies and family got sick of hearing about it pretty fast. Sorry man.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 10:35 PM
3

Yeah, I'm not sure I can keep throwing money away. At some point everyone has a breaking point. Enough is enough.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 05:59 PM
4

On one hand you know the case better than anyone and care more than anyone. I've wondered the same but at the end of the day probably safest to suck it up and have an attorney. Good luck. I know the feeling. I can't even begin to think about the wasted money.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 05:43 PM
4

Yeah, slowly clawing way back to a good financial place. It has been years though.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 03:27 AM
0

Sorry bud. You are probably screwed. It is only money. Just the remind self often. Do you have family that can help?
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 03:25 AM
2

Thank the heavens my alimony ends soon. Hate paying that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 03:23 AM
1

Yeah, those too
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 01:05 AM
1

Oh bud. I was never going to succeed because I was not her father. Creepy really and many therapists suggested something could have be going on. No idea.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 05:03 PM
3

If they never say 'sorry' for anything. Major red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 04:57 PM
1

So true, so true, if not for dealing with custody issues it really would be the best of times right now. Especially now that alimony is down to it's last trickle.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 04:55 PM
6

Well the family court sure as hell doesn't want me having any desires, feelings, or wants for my kid. Lines up with what they expect of a dad. F that. If we are ever going to achieve true equality accept that men are emotional creatures too with feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 04:29 PM
2

'These discussions seem to focus on child well-being while leaving out the parents (or at least the father) but the mental well-being of fathers, and middle aged men more generally, represents an important social issue on it's own. Of note is that there are very few services for fathers who are alienated from their children, and very little social empathy for the problem as well. Fathers are more than just breadwinners and they are more than just parents as well. They are human beings who should…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/22 12:20 AM
6

Daily exercise is probably one of the few reasons I'm still alive. Force it, it will help.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 03:57 PM
0

I had an attorney, I will share more once a little time has passed. I don't want to get too into specifics but trust me due to my gender there was extreme bias. I was hoping to commiserate with others who have been screwed over.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 08:28 PM
1

I'm trying to see what the options are. Fighting may be only way to save my life. Right now it is the only thing that matters.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 08:26 PM
2

Yeah, same deal. Always small enough stuff to keep the courts from caring but sum of parts is disturbing as all get out. Man I don't know how I'm going to keep going for my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 07:59 PM
1

Wanna be besties? Sounds like we are in a boat together. I don't know what has happened to our society but there is a very real epidemic of blame shifting, avoiding taking responsibility. Often it is the mother, sometimes the dad. It is messed up if you ever run into it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 07:31 PM
1

I'm limiting my exposure because rest assured I have an ex that would hunt this down and use against me. Since so recent I'm keeping some things to self. But, the system has turned major concerns on my part into nothing and elevated every misplaced word of mine to first degree murder. My life, my kids life have been severely impacted by a biased 'family' court for years now. It has literally destroyed me. All sorts of allegations, no consequences. I have never had legal trouble in many years of …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 07:11 PM
3

Yeah, waitied three years for a judge to just ignore my concerns. F family law altogether. Every last bit of it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 06:01 PM
1

Oh yes it is. Breadwinner here. Perfect finances. Left in ruins post divorce. The kid thing is worse for me though.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 04:34 PM
1

Amen, agree, so sorry for you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 03:05 PM
3

I'd share them but probably already disclosing too much. Suffice to say I was called a 'whiny father' for saying I miss you too much when calling. Not sure if you are a parent or not but it makes it so so so so much worse. I do appreciate you being here.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 02:37 AM
2

I am at my ropes end fellas. No idea how I'm going to power through.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 02:17 AM
2

Yeah man, my kid gets it but it still doesn't help the pain of being apart from her. Knowing she is being groomed to distrust dad. And the kicker is the courts don't give a fuck.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 02:15 AM
3

Yeah man, sounds like you got a raw deal too. How is this allowed? Our children need their parents. They sure as heck talk about that a lot elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 02:09 AM
3

Just think I broke today :( sucks
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 01:23 AM
1

True, true. Marriage is dead. Has been for about 50 years. I spent my whole life never believing in marriage or getting married. Then I had a kid, a weak moment, and BAM, I'm right there myself. Marriage is beyond dead as an institution.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 12:05 AM
1

Also 100 percent destroyed at moment. Message me if you want to talk through it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 11:36 PM
1

Here for help too. I literally think the system broke me finally just today. I have had enough trauma for three lifetimes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 11:33 PM
2

Bro, almost exactly the same. Purgatory and hell combined. And my ex alienated the kid for three years and yes the judge just yelled at me some more and punished me more. Fuck family law. Institution needs to die.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 11:31 PM
2

Same here and I just failed at getting it addressed. As a man it is a very uphill battle.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 10:35 PM
1

The guys will hang. They haven't dropped me. Just from "couples functions". I expected that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 01:11 PM
1

Yup. It happens. I also remember my single buddies being excluded when I was part of a couple. Just how it goes suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 01:06 PM
1

Walking and running are great. Being on the move does something for your brain. Highly recommended. Cannot tell you how many times I've walked it off. Gump runs/walks I call em... I just started running...
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 04:13 PM
1

Yup, definitely hour to hour, minute to minute at times. Hellish experience and I'm pretty deep into it at this point. The trauma is real. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 04:11 PM
2

Yup, was in long term deal here and absolutely both of us changed. Apart apparently. Own your life people.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 04:02 PM
1

Yeah, and funny I was the one with that label. Thinking back I think I heard the word sorry from here maybe less than five times. Something about that alone is messed up.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 04:01 PM
1

Signed
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 03:59 PM
2

Yeah, by the end it was just toxic on both ends. We basically hated each other. Good times.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 03:58 PM
1

So, I'm trying to get there, what did you do to get int pushed to 50/50? It seems like the only reasonable setup in my case yet nearly impossible to achieve.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 03:57 PM
2

You can't minimize it if one party won't be reasonable. Technically you can ask for fees but being a male good luck. And you can easily hit six figures with conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 03:56 PM
1

Real talk. Truth. It isn't roses and unicorns at all. Even with me leaving a miserable, toxic relationship. I'm glad I did but don't think divorce with kids will be easy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 03:51 PM
1

Yeah yeah yeah, all the positives but don't discredit your fears. It is awful, and as my kid is aging she also is deeply impacted by the divorce. Don't read that bs in books and believe it. My parents divorced too and I hated it as a kid. All the bs is just to make folks feel better about ruining a family. IMO
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 03:48 PM
1

Hey I got one with the alimony clock ticking by the day and seemingly unaware of reality. I don't know how women do it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 02:23 AM
6

Apparently cray cray, good in sack from experience.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 02:18 AM
2

You seem like a good guy. You can't win man. I have a 'manly' career and make good money. That just made my ex jealous since her career never panned out. Can't win man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/22 01:52 AM
3

Hear ya man. Keep going for them and you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 03:15 AM
4

Classic, I have a Homer setup in my office. I will do my best for my kid as long as I live. That is the deal you sign, even if divorce got in the way.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 06:52 PM
7

Heck yeah man! Some days I really want to quit and my child is great motivation. Having a child is the best thing I've ever done in life and the best thing I'll ever do. High five.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 06:48 PM
1

Wow, good for you brother. Same here, super high conflict and I'm a different person now, not sure better or worse but definitely different.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 10:55 PM
1

Yeah, also like a that my new place is all mine. She had nothing to do with it which makes it all the better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 10:44 PM
1

I was pissed at first because I paid for it all. But as time passed I realized it was a tiny starter home that still had a ton of problems and eventually was glad to be rid of it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 10:44 PM
3

Strange world isn't it?
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 06:33 PM
5

Yeah, impossible to believe till happens. I am still in shock years later. Wow, just wow, the depths some will go. Seems to be slowly coming back to bite her. She deserves everything coming her way karma wise. What a despicable human.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 06:33 PM
2

Yeah, looking back I should have known. Ahhh, life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 05:54 PM
5

Same here bro, same here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 03:17 PM
1

They impute whenever necessary. Be aware, they may impute at something like minimum wage even with multiple degrees. Believe me, I know.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 01:39 PM
1

You are super lucky. I can't get the not working thing. It is part of being a parent. My ex still won't work.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 01:38 PM
7

Just go full van by the river. :)
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 12:03 AM
2

Horrible. I keep trying to get help for the kiddo before it is too late and nobody gives one shit. Breaks my heart. Sorry to hear same for you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/22 09:48 PM
2

Yes and yes. And it sucks. No answers. My kid is miserable too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/22 09:27 PM
3

Yeah, man, so sorry. I especially get that folks are skeptical. They just don't know or get it. It has impacted a lot of my relationships. Complete weaponization of a tool meant to help women who really need it. Quite sick to think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 05:07 PM
0

Yeah, the 100 percent all my fault bs is pretty annoying. Most failed relationships have blame on both side. Definitely in my case. But no no, bad bad man.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:51 PM
2

Yup, f'ing nuts. I haver nothing more than a speeding ticket in many years of life but family court fucked me hard.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:44 PM
6

Glad you got over. I'm still dealing with that trauma years later. Not an experience I'd recommend.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:41 PM
8

Bingo - we have a winner
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:40 PM
2

Yeah, mild mannered office professional with no guns or shooting experience 'but but he may get a gun' ... sure lady... but courts take seriously because don't want to be that judge... sucks balls
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:35 PM
2

Yeah bud, welcome to the club. All sorts of accusations none remotely true. Was able to get it removed couple months later. Could have been worse, but impacted my time with my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:30 PM
5

Chill bro. Play defense. She will probably go psycho. Do not show your hand, consider a recording device. This is the real deal and you can get burned so easily. One mistake is all it takes for a dad.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 02:28 PM
1

Oh yes, my ex was a strong, modern, feminist, happy to take alimony. Bah.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:36 PM
1

Yeah, in my case I kept it all seperated but since were living together didn't matter. Bah.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:35 PM
2

Yeah, it is F'ed up.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:33 PM
2

Five year sentence here too. Only nine months to go. High five.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:30 PM
1

It would have been same for me in USA, without marriage, only obligation I'd have avoided was alimony. We lived together and had a kid. Things were getting split up marriage or not.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 04:24 PM
5

This is great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 04:21 PM
3

Wanted a baby which was then of course used against me. A kid is only semi reasonable reason to get married. Otherwise screw marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 02:14 PM
1

Yeah, I wish I had done this but it is not without risks. I'm with you, I could give a hoot about everything but the parenting time.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 10:52 PM
2

So true, either thinking divorce or miserable all my long term relationship mates.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 02:08 AM
1

Yes, and oh boy should have listened. I have my kid so gonna say somehow worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 02:06 AM
1

DM me for info if want. Already give away too much identifying info on Reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 06:34 PM
1

Good attitude, but keep in mind comment about this possibly impacting rest of your life. Take care of yourself any way you have to. You may not get what looking for in court. Family court is a coin toss, or court of opinion. It is total bullshit. I wish you the very best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 06:32 PM
1

Oh brother, I think I had it bad, and I did, but can be so much worse. Hang in there for the kiddo. I'm sure you are losing your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 06:29 PM
3

I think he meant learn from your mistake and don't get married again. I'm down with casual relationships or even something more committed but no chance in hell I ever marry again. Also, smart move, go for a bulldog. I wish I had pushed for full custody with hope of 50/50. The earliest battles of the war are most important. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 11:59 PM
2

Yeah, I hear you there. Don't want to stroke out or whatever here. Self care is super important, do whatever it takes.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 11:56 PM
2

Hey brother, me too. It has taken one hell of a toll here as well. I suppose know you are not alone. Maybe helps a bit. Hang in there. I know I will for my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 11:54 PM
2

Brother, I got 'passionate' in my arguments, I mean who wouldn't when talk of destroying a family, and also afraid hurt my chances permanently. It was all a set up. I can relate. And yes, your soon to be ex will most likely pull this or other dirty tricks. Do not engage. I thought I was working with a partner. They are gone by that point.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 02:09 PM
2

This x 1,000,000
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 02:44 PM
1

Get a criminal and divorce attorney. This is now war. Watch what you say and do. Keep all communication to writing. Record all interactions face to face.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 02:42 PM
2

Welcome to the club. I'm so very sorry. Lawyer up and take care of yourself. This is going to be a very long road I'm afraid.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 02:36 PM
1

Ha, you assume all men had sex when married. I have had more sex post divorce than all the years I was with her. And when we did do it, dead fish. Good riddance.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 06:56 PM
1

My ex dragged it out as long as humanly possible. Take it day to day. Courts give these opportunities and she took advantage of every single one. It sucked but what can ya do?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 06:53 PM
2

Yup, mine is very book smart but still makes horrid decisions even with a very high IQ.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 06:38 PM
1

Signed. What a miserable way to kick off a divorce. She ensured we will be bitter enemies till death. Screw her and her attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 05:02 PM
4

If she won't cooperate you have no other options. Believe me. Fight for what is right and fair even though you may still get screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 05:00 PM
3

Yeah, my ex got it bad. It is a very real condition. She has this along with a case of malicious parent syndrome. The worst fellas, the worst. I feel for anyone else that has to go through this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 03:39 PM
1

It can be a long, tough slog. Hang in there man. I'm nearly done with alimony and I never thought that day would come. Still will have CS but every little win. It is no fun working to be poor and paying someone else. Not gonna sugar coat that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 03:02 PM
1

See post on imputed income below. It isn't always easy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 02:54 PM
1

Hey man, just wanted to say have been having similar feelings. Also afraid of being dead at 50. A dead dad isn't a good one. I don't know what the answer is but the system sure puts people in this pickle of a situation often.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 02:52 PM
1

Not alone at all. And there is no shame discussing your feelings. I can't believe some folks feel like we have advanced to 2022 with some things but others are still 1950s. It is F'ed up and will mess with you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 04:34 PM
1

For sure, I'm over her big time. I mean, she made that part easy. The kid thing tears me apart daily.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 04:29 PM
1

Therapy and medication are ok. I'm struggling daily and probably always will. The kid factor. That really amps up the D. Sorry man. Hang in there. I'm trying myself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 04:28 PM
1

I hate my ex with all the hatred possible in the world. She deserves it. I put the hate in my pocket though because it doesn't help. Still hate her though.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 05:58 PM
2

Yup. And conversely the woman in my case hasn't worked a day since the kid was born. Does anyone give a shit? No.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 05:56 PM
2

Sick indeed. We have become a society that values the dollar above all else.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 05:55 PM
2

Screw this world. I want off this ride. My ex wanted an ATM for a husband. I said F that but the state just reinforces this bullshit. Seriously, fuck them all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 05:53 PM
2

Oh man, I'm so sorry. Some real vindictive shitheads out there. Why women (some men) think they can use their children as pawns is beyond me. It is mental illness and it is sick. Hang in there, you should get more time after court. I hope.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 03:15 PM
1

Yeah, someone give this guy an award. (My ex has mine)
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 05:26 PM
1

In fact, it just gives the other party more incentive to drag it out. Who cares about a lifetime of hatred for those months of sweet, sweet, temporary payments as trial drags on.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 05:22 PM
2

Yes, it is truly an epidemic, plague on our society. Family law, the lobbyists, all of them are responsible for what they sow.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 05:17 PM
2

Yup. Malicious mother (sometimes father) syndrome. You will all of a sudden have a lot of new issues. It is a plague in the US.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 05:16 PM
7

Yes. Police will not get involved in matters of "family law" . Keep that in mind. They are of no help.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 05:12 PM
2

Yeah, facing the same. Madness, utter madness. Some people (mostly women) will do whatever for revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:43 PM
1

So, so true, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:36 PM
1

You will get screwed on everything but alimony unless some weird common law rules in your state. So you have that going for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:36 PM
2

Well, I didn't get a much better deal and yet I keep fighting. The leeches love it, I am despondent, doesn't seem like will ever win and the money wasted is heart breaking. But you do what you must. Keep fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:34 PM
11

Yeah, get ready for the start of an alternate reality universe you didn't think existed I'm afraid. Sorry man. We are here. The system is garbage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:30 PM
1

I picked up a ukulele. Chicks dig it too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:48 AM
1

C'mon man, roll with it brother. It is the best part of divorce! Find women who actually want to be with you, sleep with you, do things your ex would never think of. Enjoy!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:47 AM
2

Fair is for washed up rock acts and cotton candy. Family law ain't it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:33 AM
1

Listen to this man.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:32 AM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:32 AM
1

Your pain is justified. I didn't sign up to be a visitor, I signed up to be a parent. Signed someone else with a 65/35 split. It is actively damaging my child but nobody cares. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 03:30 AM
3

Sorry if I took offense, but a bit of the pull yourself up by your bootstraps you silly poor people vibe. Not always as simple as that. And divorce can lead to life long psychological issues. Men kill themselves frequently. Sorry for being a jerk. Good luck to you too. *Edit, PS I could give a hoot about her, in fact much, much, much happier without her. What she is doing to the family still, many years post divorce, is still god awful and a nightmare to deal with. Some people are mean, spiteful…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 08:18 PM
2

My D was kicked off with a call to police outside of my town. They were like go home and get divorced. Thank god I didn't get arrested. The rest sucked though. Prepare for an ugly war.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 08:12 PM
3

Expensive and stupid. Expect more of the same, sorry man. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 08:10 PM
0

I don't know man, you come off kinda high and mighty, as if everyone had a similar experience. I put my foot down and that was then used to claim I was emotionally abusive, blah blah. Sounds like you don't have kids either and no clue what that is like. So kindly F off I suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 03:19 PM
3

Can confirm, some traits, possibly disorders, attempting to be passed down to kid. Worries me for sure but thankfully my kid is really smart which helps. Still sucks guys.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 01:27 AM
2

It has practically become an epidemic from what I've read. Toss the ex under the bus to hide anything they may have done. It is a national trend and not a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 03:01 PM
1

Oh man, I called my tiny place my divorce prison, and yes, I had every reason to seal the deal and she had every reason to drag. So drag it did. *edit - you had a similar experience, mine ended up way more expensive. Yes, the fairy tale that the man will shoulder all the fees is real. For my ex didn't work out that way. Stuck with entire bill. I tried to stop her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 04:46 PM
1

Yup, lawyers and bitter people make it hell. Buckle up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 04:42 PM
2

Ah yes, sometimes people are too kind. Like when my ex had to support her family and didn't work I supported her. Just to have her throw in my face in family court. Other times people really suck.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 04:27 PM
2

Ha, thanks for the laugh. Laughter and support. We got this.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:17 AM
1

Alimony was tax deductible for the payor (prior to 2019) and now is for the recipient. Child support is not tax deductible for anyone as far as I know.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:15 AM
2

Dear god at least she does something. Sorry about the rest though. Sounds shitty.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:13 AM
5

Hated being with her, also had a young kid. Tough spot. Hang in there. Get rid of the guns, therapy, excercise, and self care. Do it for your kids man. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 11:55 PM
1

Good luck. I also had a 2+ year start to finish nightmare. Just remember family court is worse than Vegas. Your odds basically depend on how the judge woke up that day. If your ex is open to compromise and you can reach a fair deal then do it. Not to mention the trauma of a long trial.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 11:51 PM
1

Pegleg, you got us man. Plenty of fish as well. Sorry though.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 02:37 AM
1

As long as i get a word in I'm cool. They are kids. My ex denied any phone contact for a long time. I was absolutely not cool with that. I document it all with parenting coordinator even if they don't give a shit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 02:33 AM
3

Gotta say, didn't know Bill Burr till recently. Funny guy for sure. And laughter is the best medicine.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 02:31 AM
3

Yup, nest egg, my entire life's work up to that point, the house I built, and then the kid stuff. Plenty to.be unhappy about and for damn good reason. Having said that I try not to let it control/ruin my life. Easier said than done.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 02:30 AM
2

Well.... Unless she takes your kid...
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 02:27 AM
10

Tossed out by two sheriffs. Dirty tricks. Hotel, the moon friends couch, then my 'temporary' apartment, which of course got dragged out forever. Hang in there. Those were some dark times.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 04:10 AM
2

Share far and wide, I am. So much can be applied to I'm sure so many of us. This has to stop.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 08:45 PM
1

Yeah, up to you and of course what attorney/mediator/judge thinks too. Working to pay alimony ain't fun though. I didn't want to at time but ended up giving my ex 3/4 of the house plus alimony for a predetermined time. I kept my investments. Five years later I'd say I'm in the better spot but truth is we both slid into this pandemic near rock bottom. Have you been to mediation yet? What did attorney think of the deal?
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 06:32 PM
1

I hear you man and your feelings are justified. Only you know. Hang in there for your kids bud. We are here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 04:59 PM
2

How about this one? Once I knew I shut up but hey, years old recordings were fine. Did she ever contact police or do anything? No, just sat on recording of me cursing one day and courts ate it up. So, you can get burned in so many ways. Sometimes the rules do not apply.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 04:53 PM
2

I get the wanting rest and peace. Still searching for it here. Just do all you can for you so you can be there for the kids. I'm living day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. Also therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 06:28 PM
3

Oh god, lifetime, one of my worst fears that did not come true. Hang in there brother. At least you got 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 06:25 PM
1

Well, I spent two years like that because of a child. Willing to do anything for that kid. Her, not so much.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 01:40 PM
2

Big time, brutal is too nice a word. Definitely self care as long as needed. Your kids need you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 03:19 AM
3

It is going to take a long time to get your mind right. Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if needed. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 03:17 AM
6

God, the money wasted is just so awful. Also 250k+ into things. Makes me sick.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 03:16 AM
3

Record everything and take care of yourself. I'm really sorry brother. I have been there and it is hell on earth. I'm still not ok. Here to help if I can.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 03:14 AM
1

Sex
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 03:35 PM
2

My buddy in exact spot. Sorry. I know how tough that is.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 03:15 PM
2

Mine looks like a stranger now too. It is wild.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 03:11 PM
2

Dude, I'm sorry man but it is done. I didn't want a divorce with kids either. Nothing will change that though so please try to do what you can with what you can. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/22 03:08 PM
3

Yes, dragging yourself to work for essentially nothing is absolute hell. Confirmed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:41 PM
1

I wish. Insomnia sucks. Sorry man. I know how tough it is. I still can't sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:38 PM
3

351 days to go........ Woot woot
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:37 PM
3

I see her with my kid and it freaks me out because may as well be a stranger. That woman is dead to me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:35 PM
1

Mine too. Sorry brother. What horrible timing. Then used my trauma of basically announcing divorce in the hospital against me. Women suck a lot of the times.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:28 PM
2

Word
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/22 05:17 PM
3

Oh bro, I feel ya. I was slaving away, ya know, to support a family while she sat at home and played Google psychiatrist. F us.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 04:22 AM
1

Same bro. Same. Wild.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 04:19 AM
1

Holy hell, gaslighting here too, I was like WTF is gaslighting?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 04:18 AM
2

This guy knows what is up. And I got maybe two apologies over many many years. I wasn't perfect but always knew when to apologize if was wrong. Picking up on some trends here fellas.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 04:16 AM
1

Yup, pretty she she was projecting but hey I'm not psychiatrist and don't casually diagnose people.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 04:06 AM
2

Also a narcissistic, control freak, at time of divorce. Funny never mentioned or tried to address in all those years prior. Signed. Sounds pretty common.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 04:03 AM
1

Yes, thanks for being here pegleg. Much appreciated. I'm trying to get my parenting plan to 50/50. There has definitely been some alienation but my ex is good at making it bad but not bad enough for the state to seem to care. Would COVID possibly be 'substantial change in circumstances'? Feels like splitting up duties would make sense given this hellish pandemic. Wondering if anyone tried? Mine was final pre-covid and I currently have like 29 percent or something of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 03:09 PM
3

Yes, sometimes I have to avoid this place to keep from stirring up past trauma.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 04:19 PM
2

It was extremely refreshing to dip toes into that pool. I spent years being under valued.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 04:33 PM
2

So much truth here but WARNING: 'You can live with a woman in a monogamous LTR, have children (and still support them), travel, have sex, joint account, DPOA, etc. BUT if either of you choose to terminate you simple do that, it's over' Not always true. Had I just lived with ex and had a baby, not married, the only obligation I would have avoided was alimony according to an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 03:28 PM
2

I took a stand, which of course still resulted in divorce. Can't win.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 03:22 PM
1

Hang on Tinder, don't invest any further in women. Honesty think about surrogacy if want kids. Wish I had done this.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 03:18 PM
3

CS won't end for a while. A whopping like 8k to wrap up alimony this year in a high cost of living area. Her folks aren't rich either. No clue but I'm guessing the books don't look good there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 03:01 PM
1

A+ comment. It is so refreshing. I was always the excuse for her and probably still am, but I'm moving on and she is still a train wreck.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 02:51 PM
2

Awesome man. My little one is a chip off the old block too. Savor the good stuff. Also, I know I'd still love my kid to death but thank god looks nothing like her. :-)
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 02:47 PM
4

'It's female nature. I'm not upset with her. It's like being upset that your dog eats bird poop or your cat meows at the door. This is how woman are wired. It's actually kind of freeing once I accepted that her love is conditional and I am her as an accessory/ resource. It's not romantic, but it is real' Definitely felt this as well. Once I realized I had been played and it has always been about money. Well fellas, 349 days of alimony for her, enjoying the countdown. She is soooooo screwed. Head…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 02:44 PM
7

One sentence rang out all too true. She loved one thing about me, my paycheck. I thought marriage was about love, her not so much.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 02:37 PM
3

I rented until divorce was final then bought. Just to be safe. Probably best idea.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:16 PM
1

'If women want equal rights they need to start acting like it' This this this
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:53 PM
1

Word, same here.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:50 PM
2

Ooof so sorry brother
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:42 PM
1

Oh and how bout the work I can't miss due to emotional pain of missing kid. Again, fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:24 PM
1

Exactly, like my ex is special. She had sex. Had a baby like billions others have. Do I get a reward for taking a shit?
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:19 PM
1

Fuck you. My ex got the baby and ran with it. I was there for the birth. I paid and still pay for everything. Seriously, fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:18 PM
1

Piss off *And some of us have a mom that cheated on their dad. So actually, fuck off.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:13 PM
1

Same
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:03 PM
2

Yup. Perfectly fine for her to keep separate accounts but not me. Proud 'feminist'. F me. Well the state did F me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 07:01 PM
1

I have to remind myself over and over all the terrible, awful things people do. I mean, humans murder other humans.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:59 PM
2

Sounds familiar, but just gonna say, the courts may make it so you have a few more years of barely scraping by. The courts missed the past 70 years apparently and operate as if you are abandoning her no matter. Truth is they don't want a welfare case.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:46 PM
1

Word. My ex seemed to think my job was all roses and unicorns too and the best place on earth. Oh also I didn't build a career, I got lucky. So long sucker. *She also has depression, undiagnosed
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:42 PM
1

Same same, minus the custody situation. Unhappy with that. Rest all good. My ex gave nothing besides an egg. Otherwise complete dead weight who would shit on me constantly.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:39 PM
3

Yup. True true. My ex, the strong feminist, was all too happy to collect alimony. Wonder how my ex is feeling now that she has 8,250 left in extortion/alimony payments. Sucker. It has been a long road but at least financially I'm on the upswing and she is headed for crash landing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:34 PM
5

Dang fellas, consider yourself lucky. Five years post divorce and she still doesn't have a job, and apparently the state doesn't care.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:31 PM
5

All too true. I wasted years staying pretty much out of guilt because she is and always has been a train wreck. She bailed at the drop of hat, or as soon as got what she wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:29 PM
3

Same brother.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 06:21 PM
2

Sure hope the therapist who convinced her I was so awful is caring for her now because the alimony is down to a trickle..
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 09:09 PM
1

You sure you aren't married to my ex wife?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:44 PM
1

Ding ding ding
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:43 PM
4

First paragraph. Preach. And my ex shopped around until found one willing to lay 100 percent of blame on me. I forgot. VERY IMPORTANT. If she does this for therapy you need to prepare for war because she damn well will do same in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:41 PM
2

Try to fix things if you can. That was my hope. You may have a partner that has no interest in that. In which case, you may have no choice. At least you don't have to live with that decision. I am sure at times my ex regrets not even trying. Maybe not, she may just be pure evil. As a child of divorced parents splitting up ain't always roses for the kid no matter what experts and articles may tell you. Trust me, I lived that side too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:38 PM
3

There is an epidemic. I'll try to find the article. But yes, my ex wife has been a vicitim her entire life. She couldn't possibly have done anything wrong herself. And when you divorce this type, watch the F out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 02:10 PM
1

Also considering adoption, lot of covid orphans unfortunately too.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 05:42 PM
2

If I can secure my financials I plan to spend a good portion of my time advocating for parents rights. We need this to get out and people to understand. Even members of my own damn family refused to admit the horrors of family court. That hurt and we are currently estranged.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 05:38 PM
2

I'm pushing the alientation angle which is very real and very bad for my kiddo. I realize it is a complete long shot and the system has just reinforced those thoughts. Will keep at it though. My kid is worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 05:33 PM
3

Yup, high five for the realistic take. The victim thing is apparently a trend. One partner, often the woman, cannot admit they failed in marriage and as a partner. Let's face it, most of the time both parties played a part. This victim thing is a somewhat new phenomenon and IMO part of a bigger problem which is complete lack of personal responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:45 PM
2

I hear ya brother. Our kids will know we were good parents. Mine does even though I don't have 50/50 which I still am fighting for. My hill to die on. I truly hope I can find some peace as long as the parenting split is 'fair'.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:41 PM
1

So sorry, life has been tossing crap at my me nonstop too. I told my ex this is the exact stuff that would be hard on top of an ugly divorce. Like others said, day by day. Hour by hour or hell minute by minute if need to. You are the focus now. Try to care for yourself as best you can. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:30 PM
3

Yeah, it is truly traumatic for some, myself included. I've actually been divorced for a while but still dealing with it all. I try to stay positive but this thing may impact the rest of my life. Trauma can do that. It is especially awful that the courts apparently think only women experience trauma.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:21 PM
7

Yes. Love kids. Hate the prospect of another shit show.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 04:08 PM
1

Ombudsman in USA? Just a guess. Like an advocate? I know I could get this from Google.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 05:48 PM
2

I asked mine to do something. Lied to my face. Bye bye, I'm paying you hundreds an hour to listen to me. You damn well better listen.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 05:46 PM
2

This. Exactly. My attorney did not like hearing that I was his boss. But I was. And they tend to be arrogant SOBs, sometimes eventually arrogant SOB judges eventually. I have a new attorney now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 05:44 PM
1

Record everything from this second on. Not a peep or argument out of you. At all. It can and will be used against you. Do not assume she will be reasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:54 PM
5

Wait, throw the 125k away another way? Just kidding, but boats are probably second worst investments next to a wife. 🙂
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:44 PM
2

Yup. Sucks bad.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:40 PM
2

Oh dang you just made me follow up on the unpaid parking tickets my ex accumulated in my car. Good times.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:39 PM
2

Rules? What rules? Family court doesn't have laws. I think it all depends on what side of bed the judge got out of. Honestly, I was told they take into consideration how reasonable you were, open to mediation, trying to avoid destroying a child, etc. That sorta thing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:37 PM
1

Let me tell you and all other men something I wished I had learned earlier. Yeah, unless you are a mom with a needle hanging out of arm or are beating the kids, family court doesn't care at all about frivolous, stupid decisions. Plenty of people make those. Plenty of people are pretty shitty parents and a million other things too. Family court doesn't care. In fact they will expect you to clean up her mess. *Unless you are the father/man in which case don't even jaywalk. If you do expect to lose…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 04:20 PM
3

All too typical as I'm sure many others here can tell you. Some people I swear. Just no clue.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:30 PM
3

Head to that void and keep shouting. I doubt your ex will ever get it. Or she will, twenty years too late.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:28 PM
4

Ouch. All sounds so very familar. I also flat out said, "you are being used by your attorney" trying to save the hemmoraging of money but oh well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:27 PM
1

Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:22 PM
1

Oregon, I got reamed plenty of other ways. No worries there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:50 PM
5

I somehow didn't do the research and thought things had been reformed after the 70s/80s shit show. And I guess 'reform' meant instead of lifetime alimony a few years of it. The system is garbage. Extra garbage if children involved.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:59 AM
6

Yeah, do your best to rid yourself of that. The anger doesn't make you a better person. I know. Every day is a struggle.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:43 AM
6

Thanks man. Of course it is all awful for the kid but hey I didn't ask for this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 01:47 AM
2

Yeah, a glass or even two of wine or whatever can be good even healthy. Anything more and just asking for trouble.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 01:41 AM
7

'her sense of importance and self-worth comes solely from being a mother. She most likely has little else going on in her life, so she places all her hopes and dreams upon her children, often living vicariously through them.' This. To a T. And it is detremental for child. People are messed up. I have to remind myself that there are serial killers and such. People suck sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 01:52 AM
8

Sorry bro, a lot of the same here. You want fair head down to the county fair for some cotton candy. Shit ain't fair in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 12:03 AM
4

Oh yeah, the golden uterus is all too real. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 12:00 AM
8

Haven't gotten there but it is absolutely the stuff of nightmares. My step dad was an asshole too.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 11:56 PM
1

Great article. Thanks for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 04:20 PM
2

Incredibly sad.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 06:15 PM
2

Were we married to the same person?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 06:13 PM
1

Awful.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 06:13 PM
1

Sad but true
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:57 PM
6

Sucks brother, but you got kids half time. Focus on that. Many men, myself included, fighting like crazy to get 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:56 PM
2

Swore I'd never get the state involved, had baby, duped, was long term relationship prior. Kids are the only sane reason I can see for signing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:54 PM
4

Ding ding ding
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:53 PM
4

Yeah, like you should be required to take a course, not just sign some paper. But the state wants that. Some times you can escape paying fees. My ex went all out, filed for me to pay the tab. Judge noped her right out of the room. Good times.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:51 PM
1

This guy knows his stuff and it is all true unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 04:29 PM
1

Ha, oh man, I do not even make eye contact. Like a total stranger I never knew. Thank god my child looks nothing like her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:56 PM
1

X 10000 ... Please listen to this man
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:53 PM
2

Oh man, once she secured the kid she was out, totally checked out. She got what she wanted. May the rest of her life be horrid.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:51 PM
1

My mom cheated, I never got over it to this day. I swore never to get married. A baby and a weak moment was all it took. Now my life ruined a second time. Hope your kid fares better.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:46 PM
1

Signed.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 05:53 PM
1

Gospel here. Preach brother.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 05:52 PM
1

Yes. Got baby, now go. Sadly as others have said I realized it wasn't going to be so simple. Now she is coming around to it. Oh sweet sweet revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 05:50 PM
1

This is truth.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 03:04 PM
1

Everything you said, except not having 50/50 I still dwell on that. My hill to die on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 05:00 PM
1

Awesome sex for first time in twenty years.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:44 PM
2

100 percent agree. My ex ditched all shared friends immediately because they knew she was full of it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:42 PM
1

Absolutely, 99 percent of lawyers like this I imagine. Playing a round at the club Sunday, then pretending Monday in court.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:38 PM
7

Yeah, I wanted it because I paid for it for 15 years while other party did I don't know what. In the end it was split 50/50 and I took half the proceeds. Sucked, but I'm happier in a new place and not reminded of all past trauma daily. Well, I am, just not the house as reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:20 PM
2

Yup
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 05:51 PM
3

Thinks you were controlling (not), says I'm controlling this (literally said). People, I swear.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 05:49 PM
2

Yup, every single day.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 05:45 PM
2

Ex also ditched all mutual, long term friends. Extremely suspicious if ask me, she knows they know the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 05:03 PM
7

Cute how they can just say whatever and walk away with a home you built. America, heck yeah!?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 04:55 PM
2

This. So much pain and agony thinking about that angle. I'm a big boy and can deal.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 03:18 PM
1

I never believed in it, I had one weak moment, and shocker, got burned bad. Do not marry. Full stop. Ever.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 03:14 PM
1

Yup, got totally scammed here. It was over before it started. I have to remind myself that people do all sorts of horrible things. Some people are not good people.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/22 03:03 PM
2

Sadly your instincts are probably right.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 03:00 PM
1

Closer to 200k than 20, and I fully agree the laws are an absolute joke. Once you follow the money and do more digging it makes a little more sense but is still asinine.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 02:51 PM
2

Signed
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 09:57 PM
1

'I got kind of an unusual gift for Christmas the other year. I got a divorce. So I bought a train set cause I never had one, and me and a buddy nailed it to the kitchen table, just cause we could' John Prine - RIP
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 06:01 PM
1

Yeah man get me to 50/50 and I am so right there with you. At moment only thing bogging me down is the inequality with kid time. High five to you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 03:37 AM
1

Don't miss or think about her for one second. Miss my kiddo like crazy when do not have.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 03:27 AM
1

Yup, met young and boy does one change between early 20s and mature adulthood.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 12:19 AM
1

Don't do it. I never believed in marriage. I had a weak moment due to a child being born. Worst mistake ever. Marriage, not the child.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 12:17 AM
1

It is living hell, no doubt.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 02:30 PM
5

Nailed it!
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 02:15 AM
1

I hear ya on the maybe forever thing and it is horrible to consider although maybe a reality here given how toxic it all was. Just go very slow. Cliche buy day by day, hour by hour etc. Hope for best.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 06:09 PM
1

Yes. Cut cord asap. Great advice. Will not improve. Only worsen.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 05:20 PM
1

Same
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 05:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter