I’m genuinely sorry if this is an inane question, but lingering curiosity is winning out tonight:

Have the legal implications of the divorce process affected the way you communicate day-to-day with potential partners in a dating context?

35F here, working through my own stuff. Over the past several years I’ve definitely gone out with a few divorced men, and have had both a casual and serious situation dating divorced men (one with a kiddo and one without) that have ingrained themselves into my DNA.

While I know that having serious or strained conversations via text is almost never the optimal option for maintaining a healthy romantic connection, logistics won out in both failed situations (one long distance with a child I adored, one with a man who offered a “friendship” rug-pulling breakup text after asking me where we should go on our honeymoon). In both situations we’ve had to discuss a layered situation and the responses have almost completely ignored the focal bits of the actual conversation, and a truly disappointing and insufficient response with the curt and toxically positive vibe of a “Dear HR” email has been received.

If I may ask: has the process of divorce burned so badly that many divorced men are afraid to put anything in “black and white” that could be subjected to legal scrutiny? Or do I have a knack for seeking out emotionally unavailable men — who, regardless of previous marital status, would dismiss and placate any serious topic?