nicole2mom Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How do you finally leave... especially if finances are an issue and unsure of things Dont forget to fulfill a dream	/r/Divorce_Men	11/01/21 04:06 AM
1	Is there any scenario where you wouldn’t take your lawyer’s advice to settle? I've always read lawyers advice was, know what you want, know what you are willing to give/negotiate, know what to fight for and what not to fight for.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/21 05:55 PM
2	A little bit more lighthearted post I sleep with the dog, she's a bed hog, so it's like same old with the wife.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/21 05:49 PM
2	How do you finally leave... especially if finances are an issue and unsure of things My 2 cents....you are still married. Therefore, if you have a dream, fulfill it. Money is not an issue, when she files, every transaction is reviewable. If you dream to visit some exotic place or something. Do it now before your hands are tied. Stop saving for retirement, you are just giving her extra money. Have cash on hand!! In your own accounts. At as minimum, a lawyers retainer fee. Prepare yourself before you are handed papers because you will become unglued. Pay of loans and credit cards.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/21 05:35 PM
2	It happened. Talk to a lawyer who knows military divorce! Glad you took the red pill.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/21 05:23 PM
1	What is your advice about this situation. Go see a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to help you get a picture of your/her assets. I assume a pension is divided max 50/50 based on years of marriage. Beware of income disparities because this is a basis of alimony. If you can retire now, then now is the time. It would be stupid to get divorced during your highest earning years where a judgment for alimony will be made. Divorce can kill your retirement, you would do well to get the full picture to time this right. I was forced to retire …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/03/20 03:52 PM
1	How would you like to recover from your divorce or break-up as quickly and efficiently as possible? Good Luck, the Bible of course is biased towards forgiveness and restoration. I guess you could point people to 1 Corinthians 7 about letting the unbelieving depart out of the marriage or the exception clause for adultry.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/19 06:07 PM
1	Did you end your marriage with no big problems? I say that as a generality to men since custody is favored towards the mother in most cases, because the father is trying to be the breadwinner. Therefore missing the important daily parenting that awards custody % to the mother. Being the proverbial breadwinner of the family makes you the economically advantaged one in the eyes of the court, subjecting you to higher alimony and child support. So men in general are punished by courts for career success. Of course, your situation maybe entirely d…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/12/19 06:00 PM
1	Did you end your marriage with no big problems? OP, what are you waiting for? How long are you going to allow yourself to be absolutely miserable continuing down this road. Unhappy and unloved are valid reasons to divorce, which are major problems you are glossing over for some reason. How long until you see another woman who will love you and make you happy, resulting in an affair? You need to find the courage to go through with it. Since you are checked out of the marriage, I highly suggest you be involved in your children's lives to the ut…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/12/19 06:19 PM
1	How would you like to recover from your divorce or break-up as quickly and efficiently as possible? Don't most biblically based divorce support programs focus on reconciliation back to the marriage as the goal? As Jesus said, "Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of one's heart"? Are you focusing on people soully divorced because of the exception clause?	/r/Divorce_Men	28/11/19 08:06 PM
1	Retire before or after divorce? Go see a Certified Financial Divorce Analyst ASAP, and get a real take on your assets, Investments, retirement, etc. Then ask yourself, why am I working my ass to the bone just pay her more vagimony in the long run. Enjoy whats left of your life.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/19 03:10 PM
1	Should I wait for the holidays to be over? Just wondering, have you talked to a lawyer, know what our getting into, meaning are you set to file? I would wait until after the holidays, before the holidays, your kids might forever remember you filed for divorce during the holidays and ruined it for them.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/19 02:57 PM
3	Maryland - VA Disability divorce question Check with a lawyer. I believe VA disability can be used in calculating alimony and child support, but the ex is not entitled to the actual VA compensation itself. Also military retired pay is a marital asset, but limited to the years of the marriage while you serving in the military. For me, I have 24 years service, but only 20 while married to her. So she would not be entitled to 50% of my retirement pay.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/10/19 05:37 PM
1	Question for those who have successfully served notice to their ex When my wife filed, her lawyer voiced mailed me to "save me the embarrassment of a cop showing up at doorstep" to come to his office to pick it up. I had spent the morning she filed hiring my own attorney, and it was such a great relief to tell her lawyer just to send it to my lawyer. Best not to deal with it at all.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/19 05:18 PM
1	So I'm getting screwed for being financially responsible? Stop putting money into retirement immediately! Then, withdraw everything out of the retirement account and you'll have to eat the 15% early withdrawal. Do this before either of you files. Fulfill some bucket items before either of you files.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/09/19 04:30 PM
2	Doubting myself I understand this is a thread about men's divorce, and alot of women bashing is to be expected, but there are men in your life I assume are making marriage work by your examples. I wouldnt be quick to write them off. I wish you the very best.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/19 10:26 PM
1	Complicated Blended Family I would think her having a degree, is a bonus for you in the alimony question. If you helped pay for it, even better for you.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/19 04:07 PM
2	Family therapy? Are you checked out of the marriage? Is she? Is her wanting marriage counseling to fight for the relationship to continue? Will it help you take an honest look at yourself and why the marriage is failing or will fail? Can you go with an open mind? Since you have kids and divorce is on the table currently, you could use it as a gauge to see where she is as to future divorce demands. Does she think you are an unfit father? Does she see herself as having to protect the kids from some destructive be…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/19 03:50 PM
6	Doubting myself Humility, as in putting others before yourself, is a very important virtue to have. As a USAF veteran, Service before Self, is one of the USAF's core values. Putting your spouse first in a marriage should lead to a high degree of respect on the spouse's part. Women, I believe by nature tend to be much domestically self sacrificing then men. I say domestically by nature because motherhood (child rearing), in comparison to fatherhood is a lot more self sacrificing or "putting oneself before others…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/19 03:28 PM
1	How does child custody work if I work night shifts 2 weeks out of the month? Judges are concerned with what's best for the kids. They don't give a shit about how hard you work or how long you work. If work takes you away from parental responsibilities and she picks up the slack, she will get primary custody.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/19 02:46 PM
1	Guys how do you feel when your ex has the kids and is dating? What are the correct feelings?? Keep things like this written down, it may help you down the road. Does she need to notify you when kids are sick, etc? Be apart of doctors visits and such, if she plays the mom card, and says she handles everyday responsibilities and you don't, she will come out the winner in custody.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/19 02:41 PM
2	She is angry with judgment! My wife was angry and said I threatened her when I said I wasn't willing to pay medical for her. Her lawyer convinced her I had to pay it (more alimony, maybe?). Anyway, I did the math on my military healthcare for life and she didn't qualify for lifetime healthcare.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/19 02:31 PM
1	Finally I give up. Go over to r/divorce, women post there all the time about what brought them to file. Or simple google, "why women divorce".	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/19 02:24 PM
1	Finally I give up. You probably will wrestle with her filing, especially if your blind sided ,and the fact she is over the marriage mentally. Men tend to hang on to the marriage, a professional counselor of either gender may be of help. A counselor should help you come to peace and let go of the marriage. Your wife is coping by teaming up with her friends, which a good idea. You need people around you to support you. Absolutely find someone who's been through divorce before, their experience can help assure you th…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/19 02:19 PM
1	Finally I give up. Spend as much time with your kid as possible and get counseling to get over her.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/08/19 09:12 PM
1	Wife filed now having 2nd thoughts Get an order of reconciliation which keeps things on hold, mine is for 12 months. In my conservative state, I was told sex between partners during divorce proceedings can nullify the divorce. During this second chance time, I am trying to knock some things off my bucket list while I am not straddled with alimony or child support. My wife filing for divorce has shown me that money really has no meaning, spend freely and enjoy yourself, she cant take what's not there.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/19 08:18 PM
3	People know I’m single and assume I sleep alone. Simply not true. LOL, she wants the house, kids, ……...and dog! happy for you	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/19 09:28 PM
1	Need Some Advice About Alimony, Child Support, and Dividing Debt Just a thought, if you have a 401k or IRA, maybe close it out to pay for the debt. If you keep it, she will get 50% of that as well, plus the fees for a QDRO are expensive. Anything done before papers are served is counted as part of the marriage.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/06/19 12:33 AM
2	Need Some Advice About Alimony, Child Support, and Dividing Debt At the moment, we have an Order of Reconciliation for 12 months, will see if it lasts. My wife is disabled and my daughter has Autism, I would be eaten alive if we ever went before a judge. If I can wait 2 years, until my daughter graduates, then I think my wife's chances of getting the house would lessen somewhat. I live in a booming housing market and equity in the house is going up fast, so with her lawyers wanting her to have the house and the ever increasing equity, and my share go to my da…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/19 04:00 PM
6	Need Some Advice About Alimony, Child Support, and Dividing Debt My wife's lawyer demanded I put my % home equity into a trust fund that was payable to my daughter (not me) when she was older. Trust Me, Get a lawyer before she does. Mine had an injunction that anything spent could be reviewed by the court. Her not working when only you are working 10-12 hour days will hurt you when it comes to custody. I will say it again, GET A LAWYER, at least talk to one!	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/19 09:43 PM
1	Preparing for the process. Need wisdom There are lots of articles on the net telling you how to prepare. Get your lawyers retainer ready first and get the best you can. Once you settle on a lawyer, they will advise you on next steps. She more than likely will want the house and full custody of the kids.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/05/19 10:02 PM