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not_the_notebook Archive

View 2 posts and 54 comments by not_the_notebook on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

They don’t say “it takes a village” for nothing. Without any family around to help, you must be going out of your mind. Men don’t fully understand what we go through when we have a baby. The postpartum period, breastfeeding, etc. Your entire world has been turned upside down and your body has changed and you probably don’t feel like yourself at all. When I had my first child I really had to sit down and have several conversations with my husband about what I was feeling. I was so resentful - bas…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/21 05:57 PM
11

most women No questions. Thanks for the anecdote, and I’m glad you and your husband have an arrangement that fulfills you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 05:37 PM
1

Motherhood is definitely something I feel pride in, associated with womanhood. Becoming a parent really made me aware of the differences between my husband and I. Also, becoming pregnant, giving birth, and breastfeeding all make me proud to be a woman. Yes, it’s a biological difference, but doing these three things is very difficult. It’s a challenge that we go through, often multiple times, to bring children into the world. I think it’s amazing!
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 04:08 PM
20

Groups like that will say they’re sex positive and forward thinking and then abandon women when they are assaulted and raped. It was a real issue in the original hippie communities of the 60s and 70s, as was pedophilia. But it isn’t talked about. A lot of sex positivity is just noise, and a mechanism for men to exploit women. What man is going to argue with unlimited sex with multiple partners? Exactly. And what kind of woman is okay with it? Probably a woman with low self worth and something to…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/21 03:03 PM
–

This may be an unpopular opinion idk, but I think something as serious as depression and a toxic working environment are things you can't really lighten. Just continuing to be a soft place to land is all you can really do, and anything more might be too much and make things worse. A lot of men need space when they're going through things too. Earlier in my marriage I made the mistake of thinking that if my husband was upset, the thing to do would be to shower him in love, affection, and favors a…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 01:43 AM
10

You shouldn’t have kids of you’re not prepared to commit to someone forever. And if you’re ready to commit to someone forever then you might as well get married. Marriage is more than a big party and ceremony, it’s a legal contract designed to protect you, your spouse, and your children. Get married in the courthouse if you’re not ready for the big wedding, it’s no big deal. If there’s some other reason that you’re not wanting to get married, why doesn’t that reason preclude you from having kids…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 11:22 PM
2

It’s funny….most trans women who care about passing as female go and get all their hair removed and they’re cheered on for it, even have insurance cover it as a necessary treatment for transition. So if being hairless isn’t associated with femininity then what’s up with that? I feel like femininity gets shamed in bio women and glorified in trans women in this super weird opposites world way.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 10:38 PM
1

The fact that he valued drinking over you being able to come and be comfortable says it all. I’m sure he’s distraught as he probably never expected to be held accountable or for you to be firm in your boundaries. I’m so proud of you and hope you find someone who treats you (and your son) properly.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 10:32 PM
2

I get that totally. I really like shopping for “the male gaze” but lately that angle has been chased out of every industry. Kissable lips? Lingerie that will make his jaw drop? How dare you reinforce the patriarchy! Women aren’t sex objects! It’s like, I love dressing for my husband and doing hair and makeup and picking out clothes that men specifically like. If you like buzz cuts, purple hair, and blue lipstick that’s great but stop trying to act like that’s attractive to the majority of people…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 10:07 PM
3

It makes me so sad that they’re getting rid of the Angels. While sometimes some of the models with the super thin bodies made me insecure about my own, I loved watching the fashion shows and getting hair and makeup inspiration. VS angel hair was seriously iconic, so soft and feminine. I agree I really don’t care about the political message. I really wish these brands would give it a rest. It’s like everything has to be about politics now. I just want a break. And it’s not like they’re not making…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 09:30 PM
1

I have a very bad relationship with my mother. I feel your pain. I am close-ish with some of my other relatives because they are not abusive, but I know that they talk to my mom so it has strained our relationship in the past. When I became pregnant, I kind of had this life crisis where I realized that no matter what, this is kind of a line in my life where once I cross over and become a mother, only one thing is going to matter to me, and that's my child and my ability to be the best mother I c…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/21 03:00 AM
2

Others have already given very good advice so I just wanted to add this: your husband has disrespected your marriage and you in a very deep, damaging way. I’m glad you see a way to take responsibility and are listening to him, but don’t forget to take your time and do not lose your dignity by “trying too hard” to be the woman he wants you to be. Sometimes subtraction alone can make a world of difference and I’d recommend doing this before any addition. For instance sometimes advice will be “go a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/21 05:28 AM
2

I think that you don't need to change anything, I think that it was highly inappropriate for your boss to give you feedback of that kind. If I worked with someone like you I would respect you a lot and be relieved to not be alone in my dislike of gossip. Staying out of gossip at work is hard in environments like these, your lack of participation probably feels threatening, and yes, it might even feel like you think you're "holier than thou". But why should you apologize for having values? My bes…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/20 09:54 PM
6

I don’t know if I’d call him clingy. He’s just around a lot, and very physically affectionate to the point where I get kind of tired of it, especially being heavily pregnant and just kind of done with it all. I just want him to get out of the house sometimes so that I have the opportunity to miss him, you know? Not a bad idea
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/20 06:47 AM
4

I wouldn't involve myself with a man who was interacting with/following instagram models. There's using porn to satisfy a fleeting need, and then there's constantly following instagram accounts and seeing them in your feed all the time. I think the former is weird, frankly, and it would make me uncomfortable. Since you said to not try to spare your feelings, I'll be blunt. The men I know who follow a bunch of accounts like that are usually thirsty fuckboys that I would not have the energy to dea…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/20 11:42 PM
18

I think the issue is in your post. Being a virgin was your badge of honor. Sure, keeping a commitment to yourself and staying true to your values is great. But a badge of honor almost sounds like it was a part of your identity or the way you measured your own self worth. Of course you feel like shit now, when you made this thing so important to yourself. People are imperfect. Beating yourself up about a choice you made in the past doesn’t make your present any better. It doesn’t make you a bette…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 11:40 PM
1

If this isn’t what you want, get out now. He’s been up front about what he wants and he will not change.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/19 06:02 PM
1

You can find the answer to your question through googling and reliable internet resources for this sort of thing and by calling a doctor. This is not red pill specific and if anything, is a medical question we can’t answer. I know it’s too late to research ahead of time now, but you should educate yourself about sex now since you’re becoming sexually active. Knowing what to expect is how you keep yourself safe and also calm and relaxed. Not educating yourself about sex is irresponsible and besid…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/19 05:59 PM
21

I don’t know, this letter didn’t really read like a love letter at all to me and it feels like you spent most of it talking about yourself, and why you want to write the letter at all. It took me some time to figure out what you were trying to convey to him and it still doesn’t read very strong. I don’t know him better than you do but as someone who dated and married a man who sounds a lot like him, he has always appreciated me most when I do things for him like cook him very special meals or gi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/19 04:27 AM
3

Sounds like a complicated situation. Generally you shouldn't be with someone you hope will change. If she is targeting you I would draw a boundary and keep distance from her, make a point not to be around her.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 02:20 PM
10

I stay out of my mans relationships with others and trust him to handle them himself. Especially family, where there is history and context that I do not understand. Welcome to the world of mothers in law, where the rules are made up and nobody wins. Unless she’s targeting you, I would stay out of it and be supportive of him. All you can do is be a great partner to him. (If it’s a mamas boy situation though, with no signs of improvement, you should run.)
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 01:54 PM
18

He hasn’t texted in a week and nothing was ever official. I think you’re free to date other men and if he wants an explanation or to see you again he will reach out. And then you can be honest but kind. FWIW I think ghosting kind of sucks but I also think it’s not ghosting if neither party initiates any contact. To me ghosting is when you text the person and you never hear back and have no idea what happened.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/19 12:38 AM
2

I’ve cooked a nice meal for him with his favorite dessert, and given him a long full body massage. That’s all it takes to make my husband unbelievably grateful. He talks about it for days afterwards. You’d think I hung the moon. That’s the way to his particular heart and all men have their different preferences and passions. But for an overstressed man, I think good food and massage works most of the time.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 11:21 PM
1

I think it depends on your goals. For some it’s losing weight and eating better, for others it’s getting their anger under control. What do you want to be better at?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 02:05 PM
7

+1 for therapy and stoicism. Both helped me with my anxiety
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 02:02 PM
5

If he’s already said he may not be able to spend time with you, then don’t push it. Wish him well and keep yourself busy, if he wants to see you he will make it happen. Asking for this when he’s already told you he may not be able to spend time with you is just going to put undue pressure on him. He’s there to see his sister and only has a day, that’s really not a lot at all.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 01:45 PM
6

As in, hold that man at arms length and increase the time needed for him to get closer to you and earn your trust. I also think you need to confront him head on about this first and then explain that you like him, but lying is a big deal to you. Then either leave him, or stay with him but don’t make a big production out of “I’m holding you at arms length and you must earn my trust.” If he’s got half a brain he will already know, it doesn’t have to be said. Your actions and the pace you’re willin…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 03:39 AM
5

I would either break it off completely or take one giant step backwards. How did you find out he lied, did he confess?
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 03:02 AM
2

That’s a really lovely perspective thank you. What do you think though of the idea that men are wired to always be looking for young fertile women? There’s this idea in society and even RP that once you’ve had children you’re damaged and worth less than before, or less attractive.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 08:44 PM
1

No hidden motive behind the question, it was just a statement I don’t often hear and I wanted to know more. Follow up question, why do you think you and other men feel that way?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 08:35 PM
2

Thanks
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 08:12 PM
2

Yeah totally, nothing like that is possible in our current climate even though tons of members on here are in fulfilling relationships. I think you need to take the soapboxing elsewhere because again you don’t even seem to have a question you just want to vent and rant.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 08:11 PM
2

I’m not sure what you want here. If that’s the life you want then go out and get it. It’s possible to do all of that and be RP. I am not trying to be rude for the sake of rudeness but I have to tell you, you sound pretentious and angsty. I think that nothing anyone says to you here is going to be good enough for you, because you are so special and specific that nobody else’s advice or path applies to you. Life in suburbia can be fulfilling, it’s just not for you. The life you described in suburb…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 07:36 PM
1

Why do you say this?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 07:26 PM
2

I agree, maternal death rate is very important to understand. I addressed this in a different comment but I assume OP to be referring to visual “ruin” relating to SMV and not the very serious and often unavoidable experiences that you have had.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 07:25 PM
1

Pretty sure OP is referring to visual ruin and not overall health and maternal death risk. That’s where I was coming from. I’m sorry I have seemed to strike a nerve with you, it wasn’t my intent to erase your experience. But it’s RPW and with the context of OPs post I think it’s fair to assume she is referring the degradation of SMV as a result of pregnancy.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 07:24 PM
1

Then don’t be fat and unhealthy like I said in the first place. And yeah there’s ways to avoid that nightmare don’t enter it in the first place and if you’re fat stop being fat. As for the red pill subreddits, the members of those range from a variety of life experiences and feelings towards women. The men on there who talk that way and make decisions in that way aren’t the men you’d be targeting in a mate, so why focus on them? RP and RPW are of a very different tone and goalset in my experienc…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 07:19 PM
2

Yeah, I knew commenting about this would bring out those with unique or particularly bad experiences. Pregnancy almost killed you and that is horrific and traumatic and I’m so sorry. That doesn’t mean pregnancy ruins bodies.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 07:00 PM
0

Yeah I mean I guess there’s exceptions to everything but it’s not a unilateral rule and pregnancy doesn’t = body ruined. My original point stands.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 06:58 PM
11

Don’t go to red pill subreddits and use those men as an example. Also, pregnancy doesn’t have to ruin your body. Don’t be fat, stay in shape, eat healthy, take care of your teeth hair and skin, and pregnancy or no pregnancy you’re already better looking than 90% of American women.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 05:37 PM
18

I never wanted to get married until I met my husband. Just didn’t look like a lot of fun the way my parents and family do it.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 04:02 AM
19

If he pointed that out to you this early on like that I think you should run. Honesty is one thing but that’s a sign that he’s not into you and not worried about impressing you.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 04:01 AM
1

Well put.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/19 04:17 AM
2

That’s very true, my own mother was this way. She had the weight of the world on her shoulders because her husband was “hopeless” and did everything “wrong”. Nothing he did was good enough, and she seemed to actively enjoy bashing him behind his back.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:20 PM
4

In this case it’s even worse that women label it and condescend and sheer about it. Whether it’s a man’s personal tolerance for discomfort or a fundamental biological difference, it’s still your husband feeling unwell. Why mock and shame that, or create a term for it that aims to invalidate it?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 03:35 PM
1

Count yourself lucky! Also sorry for introducing the term to you now. 😛
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 03:33 PM
1

Yeah but if a woman is going to act like she was in agony but powered through, and act like a martyr about it and resent someone for it, that’s not right. If you need help, ask for it. If you don’t, then shut up and stop acting like you got stabbed and kept moving and your husband is crying over a paper cut. Women who make “sacrifices” but then resent everyone for it aren’t actually making a true sacrifice. They have expectations of others. When you’re giving of yourself for the right reasons, i…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 03:31 PM
1

I can’t imagine how that must feel.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 04:48 AM
8

You’re in the wrong for snooping, but he’s in the wrong for being inappropriate for another woman. I’m not sure what I’d do in your situation. Once you see something like that it’s hard to forget it.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 03:42 AM
2

Then this post wouldn't apply to that group of "some of us." Not every piece of advice, theory, or post on the internet is universally applicable.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/19 11:49 PM
4

My husband and I bought an $80 Etsy ring together the night we got engaged, because we didn’t have two cents to rub together. 😂 I’ve upgraded since then. But that ring is so special to me.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/19 10:47 PM
1

Cut ties now, it’s obvious. She sounds like a psycho and you didn’t enjoy your time with her one bit, only someone with a low opinion of themselves and their husband would continue contact after her disrespect of you and your marriage. She also just sounds nuts. This is a no brainer. Have a high bar for the people you surround yourself with, even if it means having fewer friends. She’s a fucking mess, a failure of a person whose kids have been taken away and who apparently did not pick the right…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/19 10:54 PM
1

Sorry
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:42 PM
1

This is immature and yes what you did was bad. You couldn’t wait (how long? Few hours?) for a response and had to make it worse by being dramatic about it. It’s childish. If you think this relationship is worth trying for, actually try. Part of maturity and maturing relationships is learning to pick your battles and realizing not every little thing is worthy of drama and fighting. You acted pretty dumb, I’m not going to lie. Sorry if that’s harsh but you came to RPW. If a quick text message misu…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 11:17 PM
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