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notochord Archive

View 10 posts and 588 comments by notochord on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
4221

QUEEN SH*Tnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:58 PM
2897

WHOLESOME CONTENTnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:14 AM
2362

#KickHimOut2020notochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 12:47 AM
1039

MALE DEPRAVITYnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 10:04 PM
487

SORRY, NOT SORRY.notochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 06:31 PM
420

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:09 AM
186

ROAST-A-SCROTEnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:29 AM
80

THINGS SCROTES SAYnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 02:18 PM
1

FDS MEMESnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:10 PM
1

ROAST-A-SCROTEnotochord/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:34 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

That’s good to hear on all fronts that he’s gone and you have a good mindset about your reach. There are some good Instagram accounts that post videos of short people climbing routes and those are so helpful to watch. Climb on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 09:39 PM
6

Lol. If he was an ugly white guy with dreads (NEVER AGAIN! 🤮) then we have the same troll in common. I hope you know that being small doesn’t mean you can’t climb as hard as you want to/are willing to train for! The best female climbers are all below 5’4” Two years free of my troll ex and I’m sending 8 grades higher than he ever did. (Not posting that because I want to “beat” him but because climbing harder routes gives me joy and satisfaction) He got so jealous of me after I led my frist 5.9 tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 06:25 PM
134

This reminds me of my shitty ex who got mad at me and sabotaged my physical+mental health when I started climbing harder than him. I was willing to put in the training time and try harder than him and he refused to accept that. So thankful to be free of him and finally climbing hard now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 05:01 PM
41

Kind, values community and volunteers regularly (but not for the narcissistic “glory” of volunteering), physically fit and takes care of their health (including things like wearing sunscreen, stretching before workouts, and going to the dentist regularly), patient with kids and animals, is able to create their own joy and feel true contentment with life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/22 11:27 PM
194

Nice! I agree that good health and skincare do all the work for having a fresh face and nice appearance. Too much of what’s simply normal human experience is erased/demonized in women. We DONT “expire” after 18/25/30/whatever. Save your precious time and ditch the makeup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/22 06:28 PM
31

I too would also like the link! I wish Past Me had done something like this before moving in with my ex and taking time to help him recover from an injury.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 07:46 PM
1

I wonder if a #maledepravitymonday would be a good idea? Limit these kinds of posts to one day a week or something just for our mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 08:41 PM
13

She’s a queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 06:40 PM
67

I wish I had gone to an all-woman university for SO MANY reasons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 03:09 PM
31

That’s tragic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 01:46 AM
7

🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 03:25 PM
11

I’ve found that “why do you think that’s an appropriate question to ask someone?” Is a really good way to shut it all down and send them running back with their heads bowed in shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 01:14 AM
14

That’s such a bad deal for women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 04:50 PM
34

That makes me so sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 04:49 PM
24

Lol. My ZVX brought me flowers the night before we moved out AND begged for sex. SO PATHETIC!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 06:13 PM
189

Yuck. 🤮 My ex was like this in bed as well and had the audacity to accuse me of having some undiagnosed medical problem because how else could my sex drive just up and vanish?!? The answer was because he had morphed into a repulsive and selfish troll after moving in. 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 05:37 AM
33

AMEN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 07:39 AM
153

Sounds like he must be balding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 08:29 PM
40

🤣🤮 So true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 05:00 PM
66

My ZVX thought Musk was really cool and “living the life”, with the insinuation that he would treat people the way Musk does it he had enough money and resources. To the surprise of no one, my ex was a massive, flaming narcissist who was also really shity at life. Like he couldn’t even wake himself up on time for work and would get mad at me for his sleeping in. Asking about their role models is such a good way to vet men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:19 AM
9

I’m so glad you’re free of him, he sounds like a nightmare! My NVX was the same way, he “loved the outdoors” but would never plan things and get mad at me if conditions weren’t perfect (the idiot thought I was at fault if the mountain weather wasn’t good!) so I also stopped getting out and fell out of shape. It’s required a lot of work on my end but feels so much better to be back in shape and doing my outdoor sports again. I hope you’re enjoying your hobbies again as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 07:49 PM
64

I’m so impressed and also a little scared to listen to this episode. Definitely looking forward to it but going to make sure it’s a time when I’m relaxing and don’t have anything else going on (I usually listen to podcasts while doing chores or e-mail and feel like the topic of this one will be really heavy)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 07:40 PM
73

I love that phrase! 💚
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 10:04 AM
18

Yeah, this doesn’t seem in line with the normal quality of the sub
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 06:00 AM
6

It really bothered me how no one cares he spelled her name wrong. And then one of the top comments was making fun of how her name was spelled to the point they called her “karen” If he was so offended by her question, why didn’t he unmatch right away?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:23 AM
18

It’s DARVO on a planetary level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 11:40 AM
30

Yep. It’s the worst, women are always blamed for their situation while men have allowances made for them. This Christmas, I made the mistake about talking to my family about how my ex abused me and they asked me what went wrong for me to allow it to happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 10:34 AM
35

Same reasons why people end up in gangs or selling drugs/doing crime. There’s so much sympathy for rehabilitation of these people (and the deserve to live full lives!) but that sympathy doesn’t exist for sex workers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 08:57 AM
93

When they say ‘love’ they actually mean ‘addicted to the trauma bond’ Ask me how I know 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 06:03 PM
10

Exactly. It makes me think of mass graves and serial killers. 😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:13 AM
31

That’s vile and frankly worrisome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 05:59 PM
356

I don’t really have an opinion on it but think the phrase “body count” is incredibly dehumanizing and disrespectful to the people you’re being intimate with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:36 PM
28

😂 zing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:17 AM
14

Yep. It’s almost harder to dump the friends you feel bonded to than the scrotes. 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 02:58 PM
318

The guy is 80! Who does he think he is going to “upgrade” to? What a delusional man who can’t see the great gift he has in a partner of 38 years who has supported his dreams. Pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 08:57 PM
5

I have a couple male friends and I always hang out with them when their wives are around and am friends with their wives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/21 06:45 PM
40

Exactly!!!! And like, chances are, the guy is probably sitting on the toilet while scrolling through profiles. Do you REALLY want the first time your boyfriend sees your face to be while he’s pooping?!? Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 05:36 PM
81

It reminds me of slot machines at casinos. It’s probably done intentionally to keep people hooked on the app and constantly scrolling through profiles, hoping to see more matches they might like. It’s so dehumanizing and really seems pointless to show people profiles of “matches” that have nothing in common with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 04:43 PM
169

I noticed this back when I used OLD🤡 It seemed like the first dozen or so profiles I was shown were conventionally attractive men with a similar interest or two, then it went downhill FAST
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 04:34 PM
9

I mean, there’s so much you can do in bed if you have the time. Read, cuddle your pets, watch a movie, drink tea, call a friend, do a face mask, and SLEEP. What’s wrong with getting a headstart on the party?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 11:12 PM
10

So many people are willfully ignorant about psychiatric medications and therapy. My guess is that it stems from wanting to keep others down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:01 PM
14

When I was getting sober, my NVX would tell me he hoped I would “drink a bottle of wine and crash my car into a building” when I was leaving the house to go to my outpatient therapy class. He hated to see me put in the work to recover. So thankful to be two years sober and free of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 09:56 PM
72

It’s a good reminder to make sure you have a female doctor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 01:06 AM
108

The “50/50” guys are ALWAYS keeping score in the relationship and will be the first ones to call their wife/girlfriend a “golddigger”, ESPECIALLY when there’s no gold of his to dig! Notice how he Negged the fact his wife made more by having to clarify that she gets OT while he doesn’t? I bet he resents she makes more money than him. How pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 01:02 AM
24

🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:15 PM
75

I hate it! It’s so common for men to make posts on a popular women’s subreddits being like “I just realized how terrible men are towards women when they do XYZ!” All they want is the validation from women… they are still too cowardly to talk about the issue of MEN being the problem with other MEN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 10:01 PM
75

Yeah, same. And they’ll say they were “just joking” after embarrassing you to further gaslight and mentally break you down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 10:52 PM
10

Brava, sister. I’m saving this comment to my phone. I lived with an empty husk of a man for years and his selfish void of a personality took so much from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 10:40 PM
17

Brava!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 11:48 PM
80

I want to know what her leg workout plan is, she looks so strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 04:56 PM
54

This confirms that scrotes are also Flat Earthers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 05:56 AM
169

The bar is in the nest
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 05:53 AM
65

DAMN THATS DARK AND CREEPY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 01:07 AM
174

It’s nice when the trash takes itself out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 10:32 PM
54

The only living being in my life that’s allowed to be dramatic is my dog when she knows it’s dinner time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 06:27 PM
79

When will men need to realize they have to try harder? So many of them could really clean up well with a skincare routine, fitted clothes, and regular dental cleanings (you know, the ones that are FREE and covered by insurance?) it’s crazy. It takes MINIMAL time to learn a few great recipes and furnish an apartment with tasteful yet cheap thrifted furniture and then suddenly women will want to spend time with you. I like men who take care of themselves but so few seem to do that. It’s mind boggl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 06:26 PM
103

That’s so tragic. I wish it was more normalized for women to travel alone and to also take safety/outdoor skills classes. When I took my wilderness first responder class and high angle rock rescue classes, the student cohorts were primarily male. It’s so good to see more women-only backcountry skills classes popping up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 06:21 PM
101

On another sub, there’s a popular post that shows a graph of Leonardo DiCaprio’s age and the ages of the women he dates. SO MANY men and celebrating the ever increasing age differences and saying vile things about women older than 25. Meanwhile, any comments calling this behavior out as scummy and predatory are downvoted to oblivion. It’s really sad how much men hate women and see us as objects with an “expiration date” Meanwhile women never do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 02:50 AM
17

Troll feet?!?! Omg, I don’t want to know but am also morbidly curious, that sounds VILE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 08:02 PM
205

Probably a dm to some other woman
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 07:59 PM
26

And that’s why I never tell men I play computer games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 07:57 PM
13

Wow, I hate everything about that. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:38 PM
8

I’d never pay to get waxed. Maybe if my committed partner paid for the booking and then went down on me every day after. But that’s so much money and TIME spent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 01:32 PM
322

Yeah, I bet most of the men telling that women she needs to pound sand also want a “trad wife” 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 09:59 PM
131

It’s CRAZY how many husbands will cheat on/divorce their wives when they get cancer. If your spouse won’t be loyal in dire times, no way will some random boyfriend of 3 months be there for you. Unless you get super lucky but it’s important to protect your energy. Years ago, I quit my job to care for a bf of three years when he broke his leg. When I broke my leg a couple years later, that same man wouldn’t even take time to walk my dog every day so I had to hire a dog walker! Now I’m very hesitan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 11:36 PM
170

THE AUDACITY! This really makes me wonder what the acceptable level of care for a man is if he’s ill or injured.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 10:46 PM
8

Don’t forget every Disney princess film! 🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:58 AM
80

Thank you for risking your safety to help another woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 04:04 AM
81

That’s a really interesting tip I’ve never heard before. Thank you for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 05:05 PM
5

I accidentally met my current bf’s ex through a mutual interest group and got a really shitty vibe from her (even my dog didn’t like her) Her social media posts matched his stories about her making dangerous and unhealthy decisions and I felt better about continuing to date this guy because his stories about her lined up. It’s really important to do your research!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 05:47 PM
29

Yeah, there were definitely times in the past I’ve muted this sub because it was too triggering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 03:12 PM
3

Omg, “battery acid tasting bodily secretion”! You’re hilarious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 12:41 PM
23

Why don’t men stretch?!? Yoga, Pilates, warming up before working out, doing physical therapy… ANY OF THAT?!?! It’s so good for your body to stretch and maintain it and prevents you shriveling up into a ball of crippling injuries by your mid-50s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 05:42 PM
65

I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing the tip about not asking about COD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 12:28 AM
113

Hah! I could see a whole coven of us forming a women’s-only local meetup group called “Free Dinner Strategy” where we host epic dinner parties each week and share level up tips.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 04:28 PM
24

Adding onto that, 95% of the guys who post pictures of them doing the easiest hikes or climbs in your area and likely are not as outdoorsy as they seem. I climb an hike a ton in my local mountains and will usually see photos of guys on the same three trails or two rock climbs in my area. There’s nothing wrong with being a novice but guys will never admit to having gaps in their knowledge and will insist what they think is correct
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 03:48 AM
320

Things men will interpret as “oh my god they wanna fuck meeee!!” (An Incomplete List) • regular conversation • light banter • sharing an elevator ride • making eye contact in public • working together • being assigned to do a project together for work or school and discussing the project • a female barista making their drink correctly • a female service/retail employee doing their job and answering questions or making sure his order came out right • a female masseuse/acupuncturist/doctor/etc pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 10:58 PM
119

“Treated like a 2 year phone contract” is such an accurate way to describe how most men view “commitment” these days!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 09:43 AM
13

Yeah, and it’s getting increasingly moldy and rancid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 05:13 PM
12

It’s not just Netflix, it’s taken over all the streaming channels. I wish I could figure out a better way to block it because that dark shit is triggering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 01:53 PM
15

I can’t stand it because it’s depressing AF and I need to surround myself with positive content for my mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 01:50 PM
17

Thank you for explaining it all and I’m glad you are not settling for scraps. I definitely believe men need to add value to your life to be included in it and your boyfriend/spouse should not be some passive freeloader along for the ride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:07 AM
47

Yes! I usually go for the taylor Swift ones because men hate her so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:10 PM
35

Could you elaborate more about what you mean by “dating yourself through him”? I’m glad youre free of that relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:09 PM
73

I’ve learned that the best living creature that will match my ability to love is my dog and I spoil the shit out of her. 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:08 PM
14

Thanks, I hate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:52 PM
6

I’m glad you like you now! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 08:43 AM
12

“I DONT CO-SIGN BULLSHIT” I forget which of our lovely podcast hosts said that, but the quote has really stuck with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 04:46 PM
8

IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THIS. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE UNTIL HE WANTS TO. DO NOT DANCE WITH DEVILS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:14 PM
8

Ah! I almost puked reading that. So gross and accurate!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 03:01 AM
8

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:45 PM
11

Thank you! And you know satan is proud of that rats nest on his chin!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:42 PM
20

There’s even a scenic dumpster fire that you can gaze at while Satan tries to “seduce” you! 🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:41 PM
54

Thank you! I spent some time thinking about how he would look. Not pictured are the ill-fitting pants his mom bought him in 2006, holy underwear, and his stupid car he pays way too much money for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:40 PM
8

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:38 PM
10

Aww thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:37 PM
12

Ah thanks! Yeah, lots of guys think it’s cool and “authentic” to go to crappy dives but I refuse to hang out in depressing hell holes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:37 PM
111

Just a colorful reminder that the bar for men is in hell. 😈🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 06:34 PM
7

I felt sick when I tried to explain to my brother why this comment wasn’t funny or cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:25 PM
12

Elephants too, Right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 12:03 AM
66

This woman is a hero!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 05:58 PM
21

Ugh, I hope you’re free now! Sometimes it feels like digging myself out of a bottomless black hole of financial fuckery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:53 PM
149

Ask him to Venmo you the $ you spent on your skincare and makeup, plus an hourly rate for your time styling your hair and outfit! Actually don’t, just block and delete. Men are so petty and revolting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 03:21 PM
62

Ouch. Damn. That’s exactly what my ex did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 02:57 PM
17

Ooooh, silk robes and chemises are SO NICE. I wouldn’t exactly call them lingerie, more like high-end loungewear. I got myself a pure silk dressing gown last year for my birthday and feel like a movie star whenever I wear it. I bet your friends love and appreciate the robes as well. ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:58 PM
63

I’m in shock. What a degenerate sociopath. Hope he’s eating off the carpet in Hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:36 PM
14

Yeah it’s vile. I’m disgusted and turned off whenever guys call themselves kinky and say that “vanilla sex is boring”. It took me about 6 months of therapy after he moved out to even begin to realize how deeply-fucked up our relationship was. I’m STILL having realizations over a year later. Some of my close friends I’ve told about the abuse but I still have trouble saying it happened to me and thinking of myself as someone who experienced it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:18 PM
12

Yeah it’s disgusting. He thought he was being kinky and fun, I thought it was oppressive and shaming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 08:12 PM
58

Yuck! I’m so sorry that happened to you and glad you’re free of him! My ex would put a mini padlock through the plug of my vibrator when he left on trips so I couldn’t use it while he was gone so I would “miss him more” it was awful and explains why my sex drive crashed so much over the years we were together… I grew to be really ashamed of myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:34 AM
4

God, that poor women. I hate how oblivious men are about things “suddenly” being issues. Nah dude, you’ve been WILLFULLY IGNORING HER FOR YEARS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:46 PM
77

Yep. This is why we can’t have male friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 03:31 PM
8

He only did it because pop culture has shifted enough to make him do it to keep his image.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 08:54 PM
25

Thank you for sharing. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 09:30 PM
12

This right here is why I’m afraid to date again. Finally in an AWESOME place in life and don’t want to risk loosing all that I’ve built for myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 04:45 AM
5

This sounds like a man wrote it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:31 AM
39

Yuck! I’m sorry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:53 PM
157

Also continues promoting racial stereotypes! 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 11:48 PM
233

She said it so matter-of-factly! It HAS to be true! Into a box and into the ocean, all of them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:06 PM
22

Yep. That’s why I only go to woman-only meetings and encourage all women to do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 07:36 PM
9

Same! I’ll focus on my friendships and professional goals instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 06:24 AM
168

That’s 100 percent accurate. Physical touch translates to “only getting his dick wet” you could hold his hand for an hour on a walk, cuddle all evening in front of the fire, hug him from behind while he cooks dinner but those will never count for him. The only thing that ‘counts’ is him using your body like a human fleshlight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:25 AM
40

🤣🤣🤣🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:22 AM
13

This is so accurate. My ex got so angry playing computer games that my dog would go run and hide in the basement. He would yell and curse at me if I spoke to him while gaming or made too much noise while he was gaming. And listening to him yell and curse while driving honestly scared me. Sometimes I though we were going to die because he would go so fast to “get around the stupid people”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:38 AM
16

I’m saving this and will print out a copy to paste in my journal for frequent reference. Thank you💜💜💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:06 AM
3

Yeah, I guess it’s really a perfect example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:35 AM
7

I’m so glad your acne went away, I bet that was such a relief. I know one day I was going to apply the wart goo to my foot and realized they were gone and it felt like Christmas morning. Such a relief
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:34 AM
8

Exactly! I would do the same if I learned I have serious genetic issues. There are so many options now- IVF, surrogacy, adoption, and fostering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 04:32 AM
49

I had several treatment-resistant warts on my feet go away when I dumped my ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:11 PM
14

There are some people who believe so. Same as there are people who think all pets need to be “rescue dogs” with a bunch of medical and behavioral issues. Let’s not normalize this, let’s normalize wanting to have nice things and building the best life and family for ourselves as possible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:03 PM
77

The couple can always use donor sperm if the man has bad genes! We have science and technology available to screen for these kinds of life-defining conditions. I just don’t understand how this is an issue for anyone. How are people mad at women who want to have a healthy child?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:00 PM
73

Agreed! I kept hoping the friends would shame the husband for sharing and joking about his wife’s private medical trauma. But they didn’t. LURKER MEN, THIS IS THE KIND OF BULLSHIT YOU NEED TO CALL OUT AND STOP WHEN YOU SEE IT HAPPENING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:51 PM
26

Just… how does a person think that joking about someone else’s traumatic, near-death, MEDICAL experience is something you joke about at the dinner table with company?!?!?!? Has this man never heard of HIPPA?! How is he not traumatized as well? It sounds like his wife almost DIED giving birth to his SON, maybe the child was also at risk of dying? How can anyone joke about such things? This man could have lost both his wife and son in a traumatic birth. Why is he not doing MORE to help and support…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:48 PM
10

I chortled at this. Nice burn! ❤️‍🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:52 AM
17

Amen sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:51 AM
8

Any time they bring up women being violent or abusers it’s a distraction tactic to shift the conversation away from how men are worse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:35 AM
55

Looking back on old photos with my exes, I will start the collective screaming. WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY ARE YOU WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:48 AM
20

I agree 100%! Women can do horrible things but generally we don’t! The stats very clearly tell us that men are committing the majority of abuse, violence, and murder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:42 AM
50

Yep. I made a post about domestic abuse on one of my other accounts and used he/him pronouns for the abuser and she/her pronouns for the abuse survivor. I even made a note saying abuse can happen with all genders and you know how many “bUt WoMeNz CaN bE aBuSeRs TOO!!!!!” comments I got? SO MANY. At this point, I assume anyone throwing a shit fit about gender pronouns on a domestic abuse thread is actually an abuser. 🤷🏼‍♀️😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:28 AM
133

The mods here are doing humanitarian work keeping the posts here clean of filth. 💜💖💜💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 10:45 PM
1

They’re All deleted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 11:08 PM
29

I discovered FDS in the beginning of 2020 and now I can no longer watch Star Wars. Used to be a big fan of it but the veil has been lifted and now I don’t bother with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 01:16 AM
9

I mean, having some narcissistic traits is normal for everyone and if don’t have a single one (like not having ANY pride in yourself for example) then it’s probably a sign you have self esteem issues. But it’s the extent to which these traits manifest in a person which is a cause for concern. And a person can still be toxic without showing many Narc traits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:41 PM
209

Yes! What I love about this is that we are recentering ourselves in our intimate lives. It’s not about making HIM wait, it’s about US and OUR comfort/pleasure, something women too often sacrifice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:04 PM
2

The ring: Handmade by a local jeweler, preferably at a woman-owned and operated shop. The style would be a bit eclectic but classic and simple, with a tiny bit of whimsy. I would love it to use a blend of gold from both our family’s old jewelry and heirloom stones if possible. I’d like a vintage diamond between .75-1.50 carats or could do moissanite/light blue sapphire/ or maybe some other elegant and unique family stone that is hard wearing. The proposal would happen after we’d discussed marria…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:10 AM
3

Girl, depending on the nature of your job you might want to grab some of those colored silicone bands to wear for work! I do a lot of rock climbing and carpentry and make sure to take all metal jewelry off before those activities. You do NOT want to have a finger degloving incident (don’t google image search that if you’re squeamish). I do have a nice locking carabiner on my keys that the rings always go on so I make a point to not lose them. Just a FYI 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 03:01 AM
2

Jesus. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:33 AM
12

It’s telling how ingrained in our collective psyche and deep these patterns go. The whole “women can do whatever they want to feel EmPoWeReD!” Is such a marketing gimmick for selling makeup and clothes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:31 AM
2

Yeah it’s crazy. There are SO MANY products/supplements/diets/exercise plans aimed at women it feels impossible to live your life without participating in at least a few of them. Looking socially presentable and being healthy is one thing, but when you compare the hours many women on their appearance vs the hours men spend on their appearance, it just isn’t a fair allotment of time. If both sexes were spending the same amount of time and resources on their appearance this would be a vastly diffe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:53 PM
1

Agreed! On days where I don’t wear makeup, male coworkers will often ask me if I’m sick... the psychological toll of never seeing women without makeup in the media is huge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:50 PM
6

Damn! I could use some of that compensation money. One year after dumping my live-in scrote of five years and my finances still haven’t recovered. And he had the audacity to call ME a gold digger even though he was living rent free in my house! Ladies, learn from my mistakes and NEVER let a man move into your home unless he’s your legal husband and you have a prenup protecting your assets. They will fleece you for all that you’re worth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:06 PM
89

It describes 95% of Seattle men!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:42 AM
51

I’ve never had vitriolic responses to my comments in this forum until I commented on the makeup post. I find it disturbing how much women will justify the need to spend thousands of dollars and hours of their time performing femininity to feel “empowered”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 04:36 AM
8

Yeah, it’s pretty bleak to sort the comments on this post by controversial.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:22 PM
8

It erases individual traits and creates a very normalized look. Dark skin lightened, eyes made to look better, eyelid folds can be drawn on, lips injected and lined, wrinkles erased with Botox and fillers... Instead of celebrating our differences these heavily contoured looks erase them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:20 PM
3

Apologies for my grammar, I haven’t been in a position to write formal letters in over a decade. I (this user, notochord) am not attacking you (feellikerollindice) for any makeup you do or do not wear and I do not care how long you spend applying it. However, I do stand by my position that it is a hobby based around consumption. I, personally, prefer to spend my precious free time on other activities. But to each their own. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:10 PM
11

I never said you can’t be high-achieving and also spend hours applying lots of makeup. To me personally it’s about whether I want my spare time to be spent consuming or creating. Unfortunately, I need to spend a certain amount of time performing enough femininity to look a certain way for work and social situations but I don’t go beyond that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:49 PM
7

It’s not just the cost (with most dollars spent on makeup going right into men’s pockets) that bothers me about excessive makeup application, but the TIME spent on it that makes me sad. Hours spent contouring your face add up over a lifetime. You could spend that time learning a new skill, talking on the phone to your family, hiking in nature, volunteering... so many other activities that add value to your life and the lives of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:56 PM
109

And it’s so disgusting how most plastic surgeons are men but 90 percent of their clients are women! Think about where your money is going!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:46 PM
12

Yikes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 12:06 AM
6

Amazing! Rain barrels are the next thing I want to add to my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:30 PM
47

I’m just impressed he owned up to not being good enough for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:28 PM
7

Another good way to look put together on a budget is to take care of your clothes! Keeping your leather goods conditioned, applying fresh black dye to dark clothes that are fading, and to mend garments over time will help a ton.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:26 PM
13

Just a note about Etsy sellers and jewelry in particular, if it sounds too good to be true it very well could be! There are many jewelers and gem sellers based in different countries who may be offering cheap products that aren’t ethically sourced. If in doubt, check their social media and message the seller questions before purchasing. I love being able to support woman-owned businesses through Etsy and craft markets, but I’ve also spent money on stuff of lower quality and regretted it. If you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:24 PM
17

I love how your username matches your future House! I bet you could do all kinds of cool urban farming, water reclamation, and composting in a house like that! 👩🏻‍🌾🐢🦜🌱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:12 PM
11

Gosh, I really hate how they use dark psychology like that to prey on women. So gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 10:05 PM
5

Story time! I just called out someone online for “kink-shaming” me because they made a joke about how bad vanilla sex and boundaries are. I said that joking about boundaries being optional in an intimate relationship is just one degree away from making rape jokes. That inspired a whole tirade in response about how BDSM is all about boundaries and CoMmUnIcAtIoN and it’s “problematic” to say bdsm inspires sexual violence. Instead of taking the energy to respond to that, I just said “I’m glad that’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:08 PM
21

Yeah, I took it as a major lesson in learning to keep my mouth shut in conversations! It’s usually better to let other people share and talk about their interests in a professional setting. I feel like I probably overshared because I was so happy to be working an in-person gig instead or working remotely at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:25 AM
80

Seriously. I said I will no longer tolerate walk dates because I’m looking for a husband and father of my children so I treat dating like a serious job interview and don’t give men “chances”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:58 AM
97

I made the mistake of talking about some FDS approaches to dating with female work colleagues on a gig earlier this spring. Guess who was the first to be let go despite having the most experience? I’m so torn about being “public” or not. Especially if you work a job where you’re hired based on “fit” .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:31 AM
22

Exactly this! And thank you for the amazing quote by the way, I’m going to write “Part of self respect is self actualization” down on my motivational quote wall 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 06:06 AM
196

Yep! I’d always hoped to have 1-2 kids by my age but that’s hard to do when your “partner” ends up filling the child role and reverts to like... some kind of pathetic narcissistic amoeba and just ugh! Wish I could go back a decade and tell younger me to not bother with men who say that want kids “someday” and just get some donor sperm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 04:29 AM
99

“Welcome to hell, we have a bar”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 06:14 AM
13

God, there is nothing more cringe than a 33 year old man with a beer gut talking about all the fun he had in college at parties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:29 AM
10

And meanwhile she’s paying HIS mortgage and putting sweat equity into keeping his house nice. When they break up she will get nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:28 AM
12

Sounds like that first guy needs to be put in an inpatient detox program. It’s not our fault when men have these issues and it’s the men in our government who refuse to fund public health programs to fix the problem. Us women shouldn’t be collateral in someone else’s crisis, we deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:25 AM
14

Yep. My ex was 18/20 and it was miserable. So thankful for the past year of freedom and therapy after kicking him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:11 AM
7

Sometimes when it’s too warm for the heated mattress pad I will shove a fleece throw blanket under my covers so my cold feet will have something warm and cozy. Anything to turn bed into a cozy refuge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 03:38 AM
10

Yes! With fresh, clean sheets, a candle burning, cup of tea, and an eye mask. So, SO good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 03:36 AM
79

May I suggest a weighted blanket and heated mattress pad? It’s what I’m about to crawl into and sleep like a baby in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:54 AM
2

Thank you! I hope if I’m ever in a place of abundance I will be so generous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:49 AM
2

Thank you! It’s so much fun to make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:47 AM
1

Places like this are such good resources and community in moments of “weakness”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:47 AM
80

Welcome and sorry you’re getting hate. Here are some cute springtime emojis for you: 🥰🌸🌼🌺🌷🌼💖💜💖🌼🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:31 AM
4

I also know several vanlifers, spent 4 months camping out of my truck (an extended climbing trip, not forever houseless), and even went on a WALK DATE with one! 🤢 They bring nothing except a fun climbing or ski partner when the conditions work out. But if one of you gets injured, has a crisis at home and needs to be responsible, or even just wants to plant a garden someday it’s going to stop. Vanlifer men are often social media influencers or desperately trying to be, so they’re more narcissisti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:55 AM
81

I appreciate this post so much, thank you! I think it’s important to mourn our losses so we can move on from them and not carry them forever. And I absolutely adore your quote “you may not get everything you want, but you are absolutely capable of being everything you need.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:47 AM
1

Ooooh, this is a good one. I love anything that can spark a philosophical discussion. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:41 AM
21

🤢🤢🤢🤮 Gosh, I could smell the Mexican takeout farts and stale PBR when I read that. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:29 AM
68

I forgot it was a thing men did until the last decent-appearing man I was seeing decided he “wasn’t feeling it” after I slept over at his house but didn’t have sex with him. Oh! And he was going to tell me this at the DOG PARK while our dogs were playing together (the walk date/chore date combo from hell!) but because I texted him early in the day telling him I needed a night in due to feeling ill, he just decided to end things over text, right after I said I wasn’t having a great day! This was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:26 AM
21

Same here. I can’t stand cooking and doing dishes. I mean it’s fun once in a while, I guess, but ugggggh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 07:20 AM
34

Yep, they just don’t care. I post lots of discussion about politics and philosophy on my personal Instagram and will usually get lots of comments from friends- and reliably about 7 of those commenters are married/cohabitating men. When I made a post about sexism in philosophy, one of my questions was to my male followers asking them of their wives/partners were able to devote as much time to their hobbies as the man was. Not a single comment from any of the guys. But I DID get quite a few of my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 09:30 PM
4

What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing and I totally understand not wanting to post photos. I love hearing older women’s stories- they are so validating and inspiring. Enjoy wearing your fantastic ring!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:20 PM
9

That’s so generous of her and it’s great to have reminders of her in your physical space. Hope you’re growing strong! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 04:17 PM
3

Thank you, I think it’s stunning!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:45 AM
3

Definitely! It even inspired some butthurt DMs from sad men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:40 AM
6

Thank you! ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:37 AM
48

It’s so much work and as an introvert I feel hella awkward forcing myself to be friendly with people. Social skills are really something people need to put effort into learning and working on. Before the pandemic I was taking improv classes to help improve my skills and may try something like toastmasters in the near future. Basically I realized I don’t want to die alone and people won’t care about me unless I care about them. So trying to build positive relationship capitol now. Maybe you can l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:09 PM
12

I’m not sure what type of opal it is exactly but will look into it. It’s a very lovely vintage ring and not a style you see being made today. I really love looking at estate sale jewelry for the variety and the detailed craftsmanship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:55 PM
4

Thank you! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:48 PM
7

Oh what did you buy, do you have a picture to share? I’ve always loved opals but would probably not buy such a delicate stone on my own. However, I absolutely love this new-to-me ring and will treasure it. Generosity is such a rare virtue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:48 PM
12

Definitely! Most men will like, ask you to send them a link to an Amazon wishlist and then buy the cheapest thing on it if they’re really feeling generous. Meanwhile women will think and spend effort on giving memorable gifts! Even littles things like sending a card, dropping off extra cookies or a bowl of soup is so thoughtful. It’s definitely emotional labor but worth it when it’s for friends or communities who appreciate it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:46 PM
11

I feel VERY fortunate to have kind neighbors. Over quarantine I’ve put a fair bit of effort into trying to grow a block community spirit. we don’t have a ton of things in common but a friendly group text message goes a long way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:42 PM
17

Thank you for the tip! I’ll be sure to be very careful with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:39 PM
65

Oh thank you! Over the years I’ve switched from having a vegetable garden to a cut flower garden (my lilies and dahlias look great!) because I love having my own fresh flowers AND I love being able to quickly cut a bouquet for my friends/neighbors/gym staff/whoever needs them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:38 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:30 PM
6

Heck yes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:30 PM
26

Thank you so much! I’m completely floored by how stunning it is and will wear it with pride! And also remember to take care of it- I believe opals are one of the more delicate stones so will be sure to take it off when doing dishes and other similar tasks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:30 PM
142

Yep! It’s such a shame men don’t learn the joys of generosity. I was feeling lonely last Christmas with quarantine so I painted this neighbor a surprise portrait of her dog (she loves her little dog and even has an Instagram account for it) and it made me feel less lonely when I did something nice for another person without expectation. Edit to add: here is a link to pictures of friends’ dogs I’ve made for them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:28 PM
4

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:25 PM
24

Heck yes! Build the life you want for yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:27 PM
39

She’ll be missed but remembered! She’s been very active on the neighborhood buy nothing group and always fun when we have block parties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:11 PM
271

This is such a beautiful reminder not to chase low-value individuals who don’t add value to your life and instead make room for positive people! I spent five years with my NVX and he never gave me anything this nice, despite having a great job and “wanting to marry me some day” 🤮 Women are so thoughtful and kind! This gift is making me cry and I brought my neighbor some cut flowers from my garden as a thank you gift. I’m starting to feel like it’s more important to focus on building quality frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:00 PM
21

The audacity he has to call her a deadbeat for that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:38 PM
13

The whole world of medical research is so fucked up. Like which diseases/conditions are considered “worth” curing and which ones aren’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:45 AM
12

As a survivor of abuse, I think I need to spend less time on FDS or figure out some way to filter out all these horrible stories. They’re becoming really triggering and there are so many new ones posted daily 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 06:25 PM
28

Evil men use the word “joke” as a code word for “open faced abuse”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:04 AM
27

But... marriage is JuSt a PiEcE oF pAPeR!!!!!!!!!!11!!!! 🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:11 AM
43

I’m so annoyed with #boymoms and their obnoxious messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 05:41 AM
20

The whole phrase “why did you let him treat you that way?” Bothers me so much! Victim-blaming is so engrained in our culture! 😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 05:04 AM
96

But god forbid you ever suggest men go to a real therapist to talk about any of their issues they unload on you. Because if you say that, you’re “using their trust in you against them!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:41 AM
1

The fact that you think it’s scary instead of being a piece of cake shows you care💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:34 AM
2

I mean, there’s no guarantee for anything in life. Doesn’t seem like enough of a reason not to pursue your dreams though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 05:58 PM
23

That’s why I’m looking at becoming a single mother by choice. I’d rather deal with all the work and stress alone than with some guy who might mess things up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 01:09 AM
46

Yeah, it’s a really unfortunate numbers game. Looking at the populations that breed like rabbits vs the populations that breed at the rate of elephants and I legitimately fear that within 60 years it will be impossible to salvage our future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 10:08 PM
147

I do think it’s great and considering the garbage men in my area I couldn’t imagine reproducing with them! (I’ll be a SMBC if I have kids) but I do worry about the future of humanity. MEN NEED TO STEP UP AND BE BETTER HUMANS SO THEY CAN HELP RAISE BETTER CHILDREN. Right now there are more idiots breeding and as hateful as that may sound, it’s sadly true. Part of investing in the future is investing in the present and it bothers me so much to see all these articles about how “wOmEn ArEn’T HAviNg …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:02 PM
2

This is good advice, thanks for the reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:50 AM
50

Yeah, the first thing I thought of are the 30-year-sober “alcoholics” I know in AA. They don’t rest on their years of sobriety and know that every day they have to keep working on it. Hope he’s the same way with porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 05:05 AM
36

I hope you’re in a better place now! One of my mountaineering partners is a tall guy who naturally walks faster than me but early on in our climbing career we had a chat about when that’s okay and not okay. We both like silence and not talking all the time and decided that as long are we are both in visual range and the terrain is safe it’s no problem. But when things get steep or we are having a conversation he will slow down and keep pace with me. We also make sure that we are each carrying a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:00 AM
34

I’m right there with you, sis. My NVX would throw fits about what side of the sidewalk we were each on while walking my dog because she likes to stop and sniff things sometimes. Almost a year after dumping him, I’m still experiencing paranoia when I take my dog on walks with friends because we’ll have to change what side of the sidewalk we are on. It’s amazing how none of them care because it’s just my dog being a dog and wanting to smell things. Uggggh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:00 PM
15

Yeah, my ex used to do this on hikes all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:45 PM
18

How are you liking that book? I want to read it but worry it’ll be too depressing. I still have my Hillary tshirt and wear it while doing chores at home/running errands on the weekend. She did win the popular vote by 3 million votes after all and I’ve reminded people of that fact when they comment on wearing a “loser’s shirt” The 2016 election made me realize how deeply misogynistic the American population is. It’s honestly terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:23 PM
49

Yep, because the dog loves her unconditionally
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:44 PM
7

Oh thanks for passing on that information! I haven’t had sex in so long that I haven’t kept up with that knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:14 AM
10

He should just always bring his own condoms and maybe double up and wear two.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 03:35 AM
6

Having listened to popular music on the radio in the last decade I can confirm the “doormat theory” is accurate 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 02:51 AM
91

What they mean by “low maintenance” is women who will accept his scraps 🤢🤮.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:30 PM
136

Ouch. This is pure truth and a good reminder to never stop vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:32 PM
19

And “ignorance is not an excuse!” 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 07:21 AM
13

I developed anxiety, depression, heavily ramped up my alcohol consumption to unhealthy levels, had several plantar warts that wouldn’t go away for YEARS, had irritable bowels, became fearful and weak while rock climbing, and totally lost my sex drive. Thank god for kicking him out and a good therapist! All of those issues have disappeared or cleared up and I’m sober, stronger, happier, and feeling GOOD these days! Other than some CPTSD I developed from his abuse. But again, so glad to be working…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:15 AM
9

There have been some really nice copper colored conditioners and glazes out now! It’s a very tricky color but the additional options make it easier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 12:33 AM
58

Exactly. FDS teaches us to love ourselves the most and find acceptable outlets for our “extra love” to give- through loving pets, helping friends, and building community with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:13 AM
14

FDS has helped me so much! I left my abusive ex last summer thanks to the community here and my solo and quarantine time has been spent working on myself and doing small acts of kindness for my fellow women friends!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 06:12 AM
8

I’m so disappointed that there wasn’t a single man listening to that sermon who didn’t speak up and say “that’s not okay!” Sure would have been nice if even one of them actually cared about women as humans and not trophies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:53 AM
15

Lol, if they were made to look could they at least put on some fucking sunscreen and drink a glass of water?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:49 AM
26

He sure didn’t remember the 6th commandment against adultery when he said it’s in men’s nature to “look around”... AKA CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES AND VIOLATE ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:48 AM
2

This guy is NVM “woke bro” bingo. Can you spot all the red flags?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:35 AM
28

It might also be worth spending some time with a therapist or trusted mentor and discuss your anxiety and what it’s trying to protect you “from”. And then taking the time to notice when you are experiencing anxiety and intuition in the larger context of your life- not just around men- will help you become more in touch with and aware of your mental state 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 09:46 PM
17

Yep, nothing like some good old verbal abuse to tie the whole disaster together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:01 PM
36

Yes! My ex didn’t even notice if I vacuumed the carpet (and I have a black dog so it was always very noticeable) let alone do more specific chores like wipe down the baseboards or wash the couch covers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 06:55 PM
148

I’m so glad you posted this here! Someone else posted it on my Facebook feed and I was called “bitter” for pointing out how nothing in that article mentions how most millennial men use the years between 20 and 40 to basically act like teenagers and refuse to commit. Men are refusing to marry and have families but continue to string women along for years, decades even, with the lie that “we’ll settle down someday”. So many of them will have upwards of 50k in savings on top of their 401k but still…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:50 AM
97

👑!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:36 AM
133

And this article doesn’t mention the many other countries who have been dealing with this issue for years! Um, Japan would like to have a word with the author...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 08:35 AM
1

It is a mystery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:59 AM
20

That was disturbingly charming
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 10:52 AM
5

Thanks for letting me know! I actually took this screenshot back in the summer right before I deleted my OLD apps (this was one of the men that caused me to delete) but I think this is valuable information to be seen and should be visible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:10 PM
14

It also pisses me off because look how single dads are glorified in media like the popular shows the Witcher and the Mandolorian, meanwhile single mothers are outright VILIFIED by society and the media
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:07 PM
7

Exactly, he’s looking for someone to change diapers and validate him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:05 PM
5

Yes, unless maybe he was widowed but I still think when your child is so young they need a fully-present parent at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 04:05 PM
54

I feel so bad for the kid. Anyone who posts photos of their kids in their dating profile is an instant no to me. Those children are minors who aren’t consenting to their images being online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:13 AM
16

Exactly! I am considering being a single mother by choice in a couple years and if that happens I do not see myself dating until my child is in middle school, at least. Your kids need you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:11 AM
117

I feel so, so sorry for the child in this picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 01:30 AM
39

🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:22 AM
4

Her smile in these pictures is the Real Deal. You can see it in her eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 07:22 PM
2

Thank you! It’s SO MUCH better now! Mental game is a big part of the sports I do. Earlier this month I had the strength and courage to drop off a cliff on my skis for the first time! Literally flying without that dead weight holding my back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:04 AM
27

Is he in middle school? He sounds like he’s in middle school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 06:55 AM
24

This is heartbreaking and so, so accurate. Saving this to reference later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:01 AM
41

Ugh, my ex had the same dead-eyed smile and possessive way of holding me in front of him. 🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 06:31 AM
6

Life is one big UGGGH. All I get in the mail are bills and baby announcements. My brother who I thought was a HVM, told me he lowered his dating preferences to under-28 (he’s 30, i am a couple years older than him) because women in their 30s were “too much of a hassle” so now I’m mad at my brother and my parents can’t understand why I’m so hurt. I’ve started looking into becoming a single mother by choice because I’m afraid I’ll never meet a good man and am mourning the dream of having a family …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 08:08 AM
6

This is 90% of Portland men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:51 AM
30

Agreed. The more I tried to assert myself the more my ex became controlling and isolated me from my support network. It’s only a matter of time before she has some kind of “accident” with that rowing machine and then can’t exercise for months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:46 AM
13

My ex sabotaged my recovery from a broken leg and then my return to rock climbing because he “cared about me” and I wasn’t “recovering the right way”. Fuck that noise. Thanks to his constant belittling and emotional abuse, I didn’t progress with my climbing from 2018 to 2020. Amazing how after dumping him I’m climbing better than I have in YEARS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 07:43 AM
26

It’s the worst! And usually we will get some really problematic and tricky to get rid of DX like “borderline” before we get out ADHD DX in our adult years. So you have not only a neurological disorder but also years of trauma from struggling in a world that’s inherently hostile toward you. And then men are still so fucking lazy about it! I know so many guys who say they got an ADHD DX in their childhood but they “grew out of it”... then ask them what they are doing about it today and they’re doi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:32 AM
20

Similarly, any man who has OSHA violations in his profile pictures or plays sports/does construction without correct safety gear. It’s a pink flag if they don’t know better and then wear protective gear in the future, but it’s a red flag if they know better and have had any kind of training.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:24 AM
33

Fellow woman with adhd and it sucks so much how women are both criminally under/misdiagnosed AND also expected to work super fucking hard to “act normal” and “not be difficult” while men are excused for being lazy and hurtful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:17 AM
41

Hear hear! And sending hugs to you. In a similar situation how my ex managed to make so many things that I liked or were simply totally mundane now trigger points for me. Thank god for dumping him and therapy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:14 AM
208

I signed up for OLD back in the summer of last year and deleted it after 2 months. Only fuckboys, perverts, and emotionally-stunted men on them. It’s amazing how much time it freed up in my day! Having an extra hour to not message goons and swipe through the cesspool of low-effort men has allowed to pursue other hobbies, get more sleep, and worry less! And with any kind of service, if you aren’t paying for it you’re the product. Nope, not gonna play that game!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:56 AM
18

Entitled boyfriends were the worst! And they usually won’t even match your energy or level of caring. You make them an artisticly-arranged snack tray with cheese slices cut into hearts? They bring you a granola bar. You spend hours on a custom painting of their favorite national park? They ask you to send them an Amazon link for what to buy you. It goes on and on and on. I’m taking all my love to give and keeping it for myself and those people who deserve it! Men have to earn it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 01:24 PM
116

Aww, that’s great to hear! It feels really nice to do nice things for people/pets... and having a lot of love to give to others who aren’t men helps out! It’s a lot more difficult to feel alone when you’re giving back to others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:27 AM
27

Aww thank you, you’re great too! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:25 AM
284

Exactly! I think I texted her back something like “it’s just nice to do something nice for a person who will appreciate it”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:18 AM
368

This sub taught me the importance of women appreciating other women 365 days a year. Men will come and go but the women in your world will always remember a kind action. Caring for the women in your life is not all about flowers or expensive stuff, but consistent effort and emotional support. And all you East coasters/Midwesterner who are more used to snow- this is in the PNW so please don’t judge my sidewalk clearing too harshly 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 02:18 AM
13

This is the content I love to see here. Amazing Grandma!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 03:18 AM
8

Don’t forget interior design services!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 09:56 PM
9

🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:22 AM
23

🤢🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 07:13 AM
1

Maybe go ice climbing and definitely take a hot bath with Epsom salts. Possibly even order a pizza and let my dog have a slice of it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 07:28 AM
2

Woohoo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:04 AM
15

I hope that guy has been reported to the authorities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 07:40 AM
138

And you ever notice how they aren’t sarcastic toward other men who are bigger and more muscular than them? Because men know they’d get punched or beat up if they said such things to other men. Because what they doing is wrong and insulting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 04:44 AM
14

I wish men would educate their sons about this as well! Teach their boys to be better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 04:42 AM
13

This is one of the most real posts I’ve seen online in quite a while. Thank you. I wonder how it would go over if it was posted on a site like Medium or Buzzfeed and not FDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 02:30 AM
117

Oh and the god-awful “steak and a blowjob day” March 14th🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 09:53 AM
50

Ugh, I hate the phrase “see if we click” good on you for blocking this low-effort man!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:47 AM
5

I sent you a message with the link!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:12 PM
2

It’s so tiring though. And while all the male internet is happily obsessing over Bernie in a chair, the same guys will verbally assault/or willfully ignore anyone happy about Vice President Harris.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:10 PM
5

I’m sorry you’re being harassed about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 09:05 PM
79

I posted (on another account t) a piece of art I made of her and the comments/direct messages I’ve gotten from angry men have been VILE! I am so happy for Vice President Harris and really hope she has a good security detail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 04:50 AM
1

I’ve actually gotten this text message. Because talking to my face in person would have been too much effort for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:09 AM
6

Ugh, this reminds me about a tale of two pies between my ex and I. I made him a from-scratch chicken pot pie with a custom crust design representing his favorite hobby. He made sure to post lots of photos of it on social media for his mom to compliment him on. Not a single photo was of us together or even of me. Some time later, he decided to make a “special dinner” for me with pie as a dessert. On top of the food not being cooked the way I like (he would always overcook fish even though I told …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 03:06 AM
7

That is disgusting!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:41 AM
25

Instead it’s all too often taken advantage of by bad men to gaslight you, abuse you, and make you dependent on them. Funny how after 8 months free of my controlling ex my anxiety and depression are gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 05:22 AM
19

I wish it had been 1,500 instead of only 15.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 08:28 AM
37

He didn’t vote in 2016? Wow, his life must have been so easy to be in such a place of privilege where voting in a racist adulterer/conman wouldn’t bother him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 08:27 AM
27

Such a violent demonstration of unchecked male entitlement! All those seditious traitors need to be convicted as felons, put on the NoFly list, and have their guns taken away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 08:26 AM
6

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:47 AM
14

FYI, you can buy products that simulate pimple popping if you want to get your nasty fix without being up close and personal to strangers. (Don’t ask me how I know this 🤣)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:20 AM
11

When the vaccine is out and social distancing is lifted, I’m going to buy myself a professional photoshoot and hair and makeup styling to document myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:35 AM
6

This made me giggle out loud!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 08:11 PM
5

Gotcha. They’ll do anything they can to avoid holding themselves accountable for changing their own issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 09:01 AM
15

Oh, is your related tangent about stoicism? After working with my therapist for over a year, I was pointed toward that philosophy and found the original texts of the genre to be pretty great, but the popular community surrounding it is horrible toxic masculinity. I think it’s a fine philosophy to practice parts of but really requires emotional honesty with oneself- otherwise it’s just fancy ways to repress your issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:31 AM
8

I’ve been trying to tell my recently-single brother this but he isn’t listening to me. Ugh. He’s dating women because he’s bored and doesn’t have friends outside of work. I’ve suggested he join hobby groups and make male friends but he’s just going out to bars with women. While he never wants children I do want him to be happy in life and I don’t think him filling his calendar with random dates is the way, ah well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:23 AM
5

Maybe send them a text with a heads up to call the cops if they see him in the neighborhood again? You could also get a doorbell camera and change your locks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 04:04 AM
19

It was so chill this year only making thoughtful gifts for MY immediate family and seeing how much they appreciated all the thought I put into them. No emotional labor for guys who won’t reciprocate! If they aren’t improving my life they can just keep walking 👋
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 03:59 AM
2

Seven years ago, I bought an ex a trip to Peru with me but then ended up ending things with him and going alone. It was one of the best experiences of my life. This year I bought myself two prints by one of my favorite photographers (Irene Yee), two new pairs of climbing shoes, a new puffy jacket monogrammed with my mountaineering club’s insignia, and a ski pass for the season. I don’t plan on dating again until I’ve gotten my Covid vaccine (will be a while since) and in the mean time have my wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 09:07 AM
8

Hah! I had the exact same thing happen with a guy and LotR. At this point I only do my niche hobbies with other women because guys are usually weird about it. Also, if you like lotr, maybe check out the witches of eileanan series- it’s a fun saga with a variety of characters including women who aren’t reduced to bearing children/giving up their immortality for men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 08:55 AM
2

Truth!👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 10:32 AM
46

No one wants to hear 30-year-old men talk about their college shit EVERY DAMN DAY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:29 AM
34

Did we date the same guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 01:28 AM
61

No one told me that my psych meds don’t work very well right before my period. That would have been nice to know but is just one of the many problems women face in regards to mental health and always being seen as ‘other’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:15 AM
53

This is the truest thing I’ve read here in a long, long time. Makes me remember how an ex of mine would curse and scream at me if I did anything remotely “distracting” while he played his computer games. Guy got so emotional and angry that my dog would go and hide with me while he played.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:43 AM
15

Imagine if he was holding two handles of vodka in this picture instead of game systems. Moderation and healthy hobbies don’t look like this picture
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:19 PM
43

I became disgusted by the amount of meat my ex would eat. After becoming single, I’ve found myself eating vegetarian about 80% of the time. And I’m totally fine having fruit and oatmeal for dinner! Simple food that is easy on my digestion makes for such a relaxing existence!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 04:30 AM
2

Yeah, he’s why I’m instantly wary of people who think “anything can be made into a joke” And his mom got what she deserved, she was silent when he insulted me in front of her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:03 PM
1

Yeah, looking back on that moment when he told me about #3 in the parking lot, I should have kicked him out of my car, left him in the parking lot, and driven home m and had the locks changed before he could hitch hike back to MY house that he was living in. I do a fair bit of rock climbing and mountaineering and unfortunately have met many guys who want me to teach them how to climb and yet are unwilling to put in the work and doubt my decisions in the mountains. It’s exhausting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:01 PM
1

Cheers to a better future! 🥂👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:17 AM
6

Ugh, I’m sorry. I think non-engagement rings are okay gifts if they are statement rings but generally should be avoided. And the way he felt he had to say multiple times that it WASN’T an engagement ring was such a red flag- good riddance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:02 AM
16

Ugh, you comment is bringing up all the other “jokes” he made that I repressed over the years. Some horrible examples: He thought it’d be funny to text his mom a picture of us with his hands around my stomach and telling her we were expecting a child He thought it would be funny to mail his mother some tiny shoes (we had gotten them for free at an event) as a way to have her think we were expecting a child. When I was going to take him up a glaciated mountain for his first time he told me in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:59 PM
17

Haha! It really does! It is so hideous and I remember being baffled when he proudly gave it to me last year. Like my brain couldn’t fully process that an adult human thought it was an acceptable thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:51 PM
1

They really, really are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:50 PM
3

Exactly! If he wanted to get me something nice, he would have, instead I was some afterthought while he played with a new toy from his mommy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:05 PM
3

Sure thing! here is a link to the ring I got for myself. I wear it every day and smile when I look at it. It’s just so hurtful how thoughtless men can be about these things. So careless about their actions toward their “partner” and how she will feel about it. This kind of crap isn’t funny at all. Really brings it home that if he wanted to, he would!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:02 PM
3

It’s a “ring” made of blue melted plastic. Imagine a hot glue gun and it’s kind of like that. When he gave this to me last year I was so baffled by it, now I know better and am insulted at his thoughtlessness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:57 PM
7

here is a link to it. ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:54 PM
1

Sure thing! here is a link to it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:53 PM
5

Ah so it was really a gift for him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:49 PM
2

Maybe the sandwich pic is to attract hungry stoners he can sell more weed to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:43 AM
54

Looking back, his desire to “return home” and not put down roots in our city was the first major red flag. I wish I had run away back then instead of trying to contort my life into his vision.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:38 AM
29

Is that better or worse than the cheap metal jewelry that dyes your skin green? 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:37 AM
78

Well he didn’t actually propose to me with this, just gave it to me during Hanukkah. He probably even thought it was a hilarious “joke” to gift such an insulting thing to me. Now, if my neighbor’s four-year-old child gave this to me as a gift I would have been ecstatic but not from an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:34 AM
109

Isn’t it hideous? I think it looks like smurf diarrhea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:32 AM
214

By this point, we’d talked about marriage and moving across the country together (back to his hometown even!) for several years and he still hadn’t proposed, even though he frequently brought up his “great plan” to propose to me. (Pickme fell for that bait every time and kept waiting for the “magical moment” to happen... spoiler alert: it didn’t and I dumped him) He was always “bad at gifts” because he never looked beyond the bridge of his own nose. I could cut my hair or get a new piercing in m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:15 AM
21

Can you adopt a pet? I know it’s not the same as a human but my dog loves everything I do with her and is ALWAYS happy to see me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:01 AM
2

When I was briefly on OLD this summer, I flagged myself as demisexual simply because I wasn’t looking for hookups 🤷🏼‍♀️ Do I believe I’m actually “Demi”? Not exactly, but I know I’m not going to be intimate with a person unless we’re intellectually compatible and emotionally bonded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 08:23 AM
26

Do you have any humor podcasts or streaming shows that you would recommend for us here? I used to think I “hated comedy” because so much of the popular stuff is insanely misogynistic but then I realized how much my friends and I laugh at each other and that I LIKE humor, thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 05:07 AM
47

This is true! And the 4-8 months before the Covid vaccines are out is a great time to work on yourself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:16 AM
28

The number of people who don’t wash things like coats, towels, sheets, bath mats, and furniture slip covers is WAY too high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 06:51 AM
7

Ugh, what a loser. My ex wanted to “share custody” of my dog when we broke up. Nope, not happening! It makes me realize he would have been a terrible father, only wanting to do the fun things he could post in Instagram stories and none of the daily care or responsibilities. It’s also made me realize that the next guy I date needs to be at LEAST as happy to be around me as my dog is. What’s the point of anything less? Hopefully you can take your pup on runs now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 07:53 PM
21

I had to pay to hire a dog walker when I broke my leg because my boyfriend (who lived in MY house and “loved” my dog) wouldn’t make the effort to walk her every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:52 PM
29

Wow, that describes my past relationship almost exactly! Dude could never appreciate the present because he was stuck on the honeymoon phase of our relationship. Now I’m super wary of any guy who says their “love language” is touch. 9.8 out of 10 times they actually just want to blow their load; acts like hand holding, cuddling on the couch, playing with your hair, hell, even KISSING “don’t count as touch” wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 05:49 PM
23

Yep. When I confronted my narc ex about only complimenting my looks he said “because your body is the only thing about you I actually like” this was after almost 5 years of dating. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:39 AM
2

Happy birthday!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:37 AM
3

I feel very fortunate to have several healthy marriages in my family and friends circle. Though it might have also made me more trusting of men (a mistake). One of the coolest couples I know are in their late 60s and got married a few years ago on top of a local glacier! They met through a climbing group and are incredibly sweet when they talk about one another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:35 AM
8

Hobby groups, especially women’s-specific groups that cater to a variety of ages will be the place to start looking. Trying to find women in different generations so you can learn from them. Also, women learn better in women’s only environments so if there’s a skill you’re keen to try, definitely consider that! I’m hoping I can hire a female climbing coach next summer to help me improve my performance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:29 AM
2

I’m so happy to have seen two of my other friends end their multiyear relationships and start coming around to the FDS outlook. Now, we’re all single and busy focusing on ourselves. It’s awesome and affirming to hear other women I like express similar feelings about wanting to spend their time on hobbies, new projects, switching direction in work, etc. it’s also heartbreaking how the three of us have all said some iteration of “why wasn’t I good enough for him to commit?” I am so sad and angry f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:22 AM
1

This is brilliant, thank you for sharing. I regret sharing past hurts in my life with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 05:35 AM
3

Ugh! Mine did that as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 02:10 AM
1

GROSS! Poor hygiene is how you get sick and give your sexual partner STIs. Also, I’m not a fan of the whole “disaster bisexual” meme. As a bi person myself, I think it’s not a good stereotype to buy into and excuses poor behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 08:12 PM
15

Holy financial abuse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 08:07 PM
19

Yes! Same! Taking a before and after picture really drove it home for me that dumping him was the best thing I did in 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 02:21 AM
11

This photo is so incredibly insulting to that woman and I feel sick it’s posted here. At least blur her face out OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:19 AM
2

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 05:06 PM
144

“Getting cOmPlImEnTs” from strangers when we are catcalled/harassed on the street.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 02:47 AM
27

Careful, if you say the W word that might trigger some of them to realize they “aren’t ready for that kind of commitment” and they’ll run away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 12:48 AM
70

We have shallots. And clean laundry at least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 10:47 PM
49

Any time I’ve disclosed past negative experiences it hasn’t ended well. Gotta work more on keeping that stuff between myself and my therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 05:26 AM
11

Yep! I wish I was small enough to go without a bra and am happy/a little envious of women who can rock brakes styles, but without a bra I’d never be able to run or climb comfortably.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 12:28 AM
24

I need a man who isn’t in the middle of an identity crisis. A man who has a sense of worth without being an arrogant asshle. A man who isn’t going to just mimic my actions or bail because he can’t handle a woman who has more strength of character than he does. As of now, this man does not exist. This entire article is gold. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 04:12 AM
3

Excellent post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:33 AM
9

I agree with the first two points in the article but disagree on the final point. There's plenty to talk about and the mundane isn't boring, it's life. You can definitely learn a lot about someone by seeing how they react to a crisis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:30 AM
10

The same thing can be said for checking facebook. Just stay in your own lane and live your best life... distraction free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 05:25 AM
4

Her abusive spouse should be in jail for assault. Why isn’t this situation a mandatory report to the police?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:50 PM
105

Yuck! How tragic do you think it would be if we had some kind of FDS Reality show where the hosts interviewed these forever boyfriends? It definitely fucked with my head (and I’m working on it in therapy) spending 5 years trapped in a holding pattern waiting for a ring. That shit really warps your sense of self... spending year after year thinking you’re not good enough to commit to and “maybe someday” you’ll be “good enough for him”....FUCK THAT YOU ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH, YOU ARE PERFECT AS…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:29 AM
5

I’m so sorry that happened to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:01 PM
7

I miss rolling around and making out with an attractive person I trust more than actual sex. Of course, now with a global pandemic going on, I’m not in a rush to swap body fluids with others anytime soon. Cuddling my dog, sleeping with a weighted blanket and heat pad, and also having a nice vibrator are a pretty decent substitute though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:17 AM
82

If you get lucky you’ll end up in a nest or an alleyway!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:46 AM
17

Drinking alone waiting for a guy just sounds miserable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:26 PM
117

Aww. Wow, that’s so sweet of him. When I was about to go in for surgery for a broken leg my ex was talking shit about not trusting my surgeon or thinking I was making the right choices. It was never about ME and my health but about HIM and what he would do instead. And that parade of her leaving chemo was just so... I’m crying. Damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 04:18 PM
17

that’s like 2/3rds of tinder
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 05:26 PM
15

Probably can’t afford to go back to school because they bought their guys a new PS5
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 05:26 PM
6

Vermont, New Hampshire, or Maine would have been doable places for me. My ex wanted to live 4-8 hours away from those locations. I’d actually like to do a couple winter ascents in the whites someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:17 PM
14

I’m so glad I didn’t move across the US for my ex! I moved out to the northwest 14 years ago and LOVE it here, I could never imagine living somewhere where I can’t see snow capped mountains (climbing is one of my passions) and he wanted to drag me back to some bleak east coast industrial city. 🤮🤮🤮 where the nearest mountains are a pathetic 3000’ and the snow is like ice that builds up inside your freezer at home, yuck! (If you like the east coast I totally respect that but I’ve visited it multip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:47 AM
3

Totally agree with with you on all points. If you want to really rage, check out r/pointlesslygendered for all kinds of garbage marketed at girls 😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:25 AM
4

Yeah. And it makes me want to burn down all the princess toys and movies marketed at young girls. Life isn’t a fairy tail where you just “live happily ever after” And I bet most of the men who have mental health problems later in life wouldn’t if they had respected and committed to their girlfriends earlier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:48 AM
12

Thank you for posting this. I’ve been quietly mourning the loss of my expected life and it’s a challenge to come to terms with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 02:05 AM
4

I got my adhd dx a year ago at age 31! Now I’m working with a therapist to unpack some trauma which will hopefully help in future management of symptoms. I really wish I had my diagnosis back when I was in school, and mourn for the decades of my life that I “lost”. It’s a journey and some days are better than others. Getting rid of my gaslighting and abusive ex and getting sober have done wonders for my mental state. Still, I feel like I’m years behind other women and haven’t made peace with my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:07 AM
36

I’m right there with ya sis. And why is it always the woman’s fault for her sex drive going down? Like can’t men figure out their holy boxers, poor hygiene, and even worse personalities are straight up repulsive?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 05:47 AM
113

After reflecting on my past decisions I’m beginning to think pickmeisha behavior is socially-conditioned codependency. Not like a mental disorder but more of a generational trauma inflicted on us women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 05:44 AM
278

That’s the only thing worse than “men” and “girls”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 10:38 PM
7

I bet that soup is going to taste so good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 08:58 PM
9

Yes! I’m doing a mud mask right now, it’s so nice to take some time to soothe the week’s worries away from your skin💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 08:55 PM
5

Ah! I’m 32 as well and thinking about using a sperm donor. It’s really difficult to visualize the road ahead right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 01:58 AM
16

I hate pranks. My stupid ex thought a fun prank would be to tell our parents I was pregnant. Uh, no, that’s horrible!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:58 AM
29

Oh your poor doggo! I would have kicked him out as well and then given my dog all the cuddles and treats. What a horrible man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:55 AM
13

Thanks for posting this! I deleted my OLD account a couple weeks ago and was thinking about starting again... not today, Satan! Seriously, the mental load of it all was exhausting. Save your mental energy for your friends and passions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 08:09 AM
31

“Dating isn’t charity” sis, that line is gold! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 05:11 AM
24

I’ve heard it said that in romantic relationships, the person who cares the least has all the power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 02:12 AM
2

About 10% of them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:36 AM
2

Caveman scream “RAAAAAAAAAAAAWRAPE!l
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:11 AM
12

High school kids are the only people allowed to really fool around in parked cars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:10 AM
4

Preach! Gosh, at one point my brain was so rotten that i put up with dating a guy who refused to pivot our weekend plans so i could buy a new car battery. It was more important that we stick to his schedule than for me to have a working car... NEVER AGAIN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 05:56 AM
4

I dunno. If I had real safety, significance, and love from a partner I’d never let them go. It sounds like he had a midlife crisis instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 06:22 PM
50

You know how else a man can represent his presence in the home? By doing all the dishes, buying a bouquet of flowers, planting a garden, bringing home takeout from your favorite restaurant, decluttering the living room, wiping down the baseboards, installing that one large art piece on the wall that’s too heavy for you to move, picking out new paint colors and updating the walls, installing a smart home security system, cleaning out the dryer vents, exercising the dog/kids so they are tired and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 06:16 PM
45

That guy is disgusting and I feel so bad for his ex wife and kids. I can’t believe he actually says this: “Shai said: "Whilst my marriage with Danielle might've seemed perfect by other people's standards, I was only getting the needs of safety, significance, and love.” Yeah, he left because he was ONLY getting safety, significance, and love. What a deplorable human being. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:39 AM
21

I can’t watch or listen to 45 because he keeps bringing up memories from my past I haven’t worked through in therapy yet 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:00 PM
36

If they “vibe” then he’ll suggest heading back to his place and showing her his nest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 01:23 AM
20

Congrats, keep it up lady!✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 05:57 PM
1

Ugh, yeah, and I was just starting to catch feelings on that guy too. Probably a wake up call to delete OLD and spend more time in the gym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:42 AM
2

Thought I had but was just told he wants to be “friends” instead via text. 🤮 So nope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:52 AM
2

This is brilliant and exactly what I needed to read right now. Saved your post and going to print it out. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 07:57 AM
13

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 08:10 PM
7

Cons: • white guys with dreads. • Unkept, scraggly body and facial hair • Hair that is not appropriately managed and cut for its texture, or baldness • Bad teeth, specifically discolored from lack of hygiene • poor fashion- clothing that’s either from 2005, looks like it came out of George Costanza’s closet, ratty shoes, inability to accessorize and dress for the occasion. Pros: • Fit! Defined muscles with strong legs and backs being a major turn on for me. • Low bodyfat- helps with being able t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 07:07 PM
1

Enjoying one’s own company is essential! I’ve only gotten takeaway 3 times since the pandemic started so this was an extra special treat to indulge in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:38 PM
4

I took myself out for a candlelit dinner at home tonight and it was lovely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:14 AM
2

My ex was my biggest trigger. He also made fun of me when I was struggling with getting sober. Kicking him out was as much for my physical health as my mental health.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:52 PM
5

Yep. More and more women are rapidly developing alcohol use disorder as a response to the stress and family trauma they’ve experienced. So many come into the program (myself included) not realizing they are in unhealthy/abusive relationships. Once they dump the guy, they usually have a much easier time staying sober and working on their goals. The dangerous part is when they start dating again is when I’ve seen the most people struggle and possibly begin drinking again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:37 PM
26

This is why I only go to women’s-only AA groups and have never gone to a coed meeting. It’s also tragic how many women have developed their addictions because of abuse from the men in their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:59 PM
3

I guess, but why would she want to have anything to do with her ex? Dealing with him in court definitely seems to be breaking no contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:09 PM
12

Yeah, the “rip him off” part seems really amateur. I could see something like “after I learned who her ex was, I recommended she seek counsel with my partner, who will see that she receives her full and equitable allocation of assets”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:11 PM
30

This has to be fake. I don’t know if any self-respecting lawyer who would take a case with such a personal conflict of interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 05:16 PM
28

Oh I agree about that 100%! There are many financial and legal reasons to get married but none to cohabitate without a ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:06 AM
68

Yep. It’s a total scam that does not benefit us AT ALL!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:45 PM
3

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:55 AM
2

If they can call us thots or whatever I can call ‘em lumpy husks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:56 PM
8

Welp, guess I’ll just die, I mean stay single 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:47 PM
5

🗣🎤NESTS👏AREN’T👏NORMAL!👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:26 AM
9

MAN NESTS ARE NOT NORMAL!!!!! Yuck!!!! 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:19 AM
29

😂🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:38 AM
62

Oh lady, I am so glad to hear all that good news from you!!! I’m in a similar place as you, about 3 months out and life feels so GOOD! I bought myself new linen bedding and wool mattress topper so I wake up feeling refreshed every day, have been redecorating my house as well, finally making it all exactly as I want and not compromising with his tacky aesthetic, and I’ve been going on solo backpacking trips and feeling like a badass! (Something he told me I’d never be capable of doing 🤬🤮) Congrat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 04:15 PM
19

Sad but true. When I broke my leg and needed surgery, my ex at the time got mad at me because I didn’t go about my recovery and medical care the “right” way. What a fucking clown he was to think he had any say in my medical care! He wasn’t even my husband!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:50 PM
27

Uuugh! I DID THAT FOR TWO OF MY EXES! They would not schedule routine care appointments for themselves at all and it was horrifying! They just got fat, unhappy, and their teeth became stained over the years. Gross, gross, gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:45 PM
14

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:48 AM
3

The pickup artist handbook Multiple prepper/survival handbooks Any sort of cookbook “for men” Multiple James Bond novels
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:15 AM
19

It’s really impressive how fast a person can age if they don’t use sunscreen. I’m looking at men in the 30-38 range and boy howdy do most of them look OLD. We’re talking looking 45-50 years old instead of in their 30s. They should be in their prime and instead look like lumpy husks. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:19 AM
4

My friend found his wife on coffee meets bagel, and my cousin found her husband on okaycupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 06:42 AM
29

🤣🤣🤣🤮🤮🤮 +1 for the Infinite Jest reference, just needs the subtitle “the only book worth reading after Atlas Shrugged”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:36 PM
58

There’s a reason he can’t get dates with more experienced women...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:23 PM
25

🔥🔥🔥🤬🤬🤬OH SCREW HIM! (Not literally, stay away from this scrote) I’m 32 and have guys 18-50+ throwing themselves at me. They think I’m 23, not that age matters unless you’re trying to have biological children. Ugh. That guy is such a manipulative, audacious pervert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:22 PM
15

I saw this guy in tinder a couple weeks ago and he inspired me to delete my account! 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 08:52 AM
8

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:49 AM
1

Yuck! That guy is disgusting. Congrats on your sobriety and keep taking care of yourself. If you are looking for additional support, there are many woman’s only AA groups that meet online and they’re so wonderful for recovery. I generally avoid coed recovery spaces because too many guys give off weird vibes. It also really pisses me off how many men on OLD ask me out on dates to bars even though I state I’m sober in my profile. Keep taking care of yourself!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:01 AM
10

It was mind-blowing for me when someone told me that your partner isn’t supposed to EVER insult or belittle you. My ex would insult me all the time and it really fucked with my head, thank god for therapy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:53 AM
51

I broke my leg, needed surgery, and then had a very long healing and rehab time. My ex was critical of every decision I made regarding my medical care and then negative and unsupportive of me when I fell into depression during my recovery. Because HE had recovered from broken bones just fine meant that I should be able to as well, never mind that we were completely different people with completely different i injuries and life circumstances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 06:21 PM
27

Just cause they think they can do handyman tasks, doesn’t mean they actually can. My ex was an engineer so that “qualified” him to do various lighting and plumbing modifications on my house (I stupidly let him instead of insisting to hire a professional) and now even after he’s out, I’m dealing with water damage from an improperly installed kitchen sink... still waiting to hear from the plumber how much it’ll cost to fix. All because Mr Desk Job wanted to play with power tools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:35 AM
23

Yes to all of this! And they might have one specific chore that they obsess over (maybe they hate seeing mail pile up or the trash can full) and they’ll think because they have their ONE CHORE, that they are equally sharing the housework. Seriously, the deep cleaning tasks like wiping walls/baseboards, shampooing carpets, rotating the mattress, clean out the fridge... the list goes on and on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 04:31 AM
14

I silently swipe left on all the OSHA violations I see in guy’s profile pics. A guy standing shirtless on the top of a ladder with no PPE and using a corded reciprocating saw? No thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:32 AM
35

Clearly, this man likes to have “InT3lLig3Nt discussionz” 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:23 AM
1

It sounds like a guy wrote it for his creative writing class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:19 AM
1

“Independent woman” also translates into someone they will never be emotionally present for and supportive of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 09:06 AM
18

Wow, you are absolutely right about this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:50 AM
24

Because Instagram
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:41 PM
7

Ouch. Thank you for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 07:22 AM
1

My ex got me flowers the day before he left. I put them in the compost right after he walked out the door.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:51 AM
9

Cause after that 2 hour window they are expected back at home with their wife who they’re cheating on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:36 AM
8

Seriously! This makes so much sense. If he was writing her songs, bringing her bouquets of hand cut flowers, writing her notes and generally being mentally and emotionally present in her life, the walk in the park first date would not be a problem. Unfortunately it sounds the relationship has gotten to a point where the woman probably feels she has to “earn” perks from her bf and he has been stingy with love and affection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:39 AM
3

Going through this now. It’s scary having new revelations about it every day. Do you have any books or quarantine-friendly activities you would recommend to help with the healing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 07:23 AM
21

Any guy who negs me or other women in his profile is an instant no. If they can’t build themselves up without putting others down then they aren’t worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:44 AM
46

I took a peak on tinder to see what guys in my city think is acceptable and saw so many profiles saying things like “I want a girl who is cool with being beaten in Mario cart”, “I can cook better than you/your mom”, “looking for an adventure buddy- hope you can keep up!” All are so condescending and NOT COOL. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:21 AM
25

Porn and likely human trafficking as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:23 PM
3

Ah you’re so right. I changed it to be more accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:29 PM
5

Oh gosh, I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready to click this link.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 07:35 AM
122

Ho•bo•sex•ual: a heterosexual male with lack of income and housing, no interest in personal care or grooming, and does not know what shallots are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 07:26 AM
18

Uh... what?!? It got worse and worse the more he typed. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 07:22 AM
1

Exactly!!! He could make a donation to the hospital or a children’s charity. He could hire a house cleaning service. He could write her love letters, compose a lullaby, or draw sketches of her holding their newborn for the first time. It’s not about glitz and dollars spent, but about thought and care AND love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:06 PM
6

“Values equality” - won’t pay for anything and had no emotional empathy “Sense of adventure/fun” - doesn’t have a plan and won’t make any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:36 AM
2

How about a nest made of shallots?! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:22 AM
2

Having a good baseline level of beauty and health allows one to spend less on makeup and clothes as well. Right now, I don’t have the energy or funds to build a nice capsule wardrobe but i can floss and wash my face every day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:20 AM
3

I played that game with my ex. I deep cleaned our bathroom (you know, baseboards, underside of the toilet tank, wiped down all the walls.) every three months for the first year we lived together and then decided to wait an see when he would do it. Years leather, he’s moved out and there are so many layers of FILTH in this bathroom it’s like an archaeological dig. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:13 AM
1

Interesting! I’m not in any hurry to start dating but I did joke with my parents that they could send any successful adult men that they approve of my way. As archaic as the concept of a matchmaker is, it does seem like it could cut down on some of the most tedious and basic screening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 11:57 PM
10

My ex got mad at me for accepting placement in an extremely competitive volunteer program because he wanted to have a Halloween party one of the weekends of training. So I bailed from the training, soiled my reputation within this volunteer organization I’ve been a part of for five years, and he ended up not having a Halloween party. Oh, and then he made me feel guilty for skipping the training because “he would have killed to have an opportunity like that.” Lesson learned. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:41 AM
10

After I dumped him, my ex’s mother reached out to me to see if she could help reconcile us. I didn’t respond of course, but I REALLY wanted to say something petty like “you could have helped reconcile us by calling your son out every time he insulted me in your presence.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:31 AM
2

Ouch! This was me and my last ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 04:26 AM
3

It makes me think there’s some kind of radicalization happening or conspiracy that men are buying into about this. Wanting a partner who will support their mate is basic biology and not “gold digging” ugggggh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 05:49 AM
6

My ex called me a gold digger while he was living in my house rent-free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 05:44 AM
5

Whoa, that is crazy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:49 PM
7

My ex got me flowers the night before he moved out- it was the first thing he’d picked out and gotten for me in 16 months. I put his emotional manipulation flowers in the compost when he left the next day. I think he thought the shitty flowers would gain him a Pity fuck or something. Lame! Best gift was when a guy I dated very briefly after college gave me the scarf he was wearing in a coffee shop. I’d complimented him on it a few times and one day he just smiled at me over our lattes and put it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:16 AM
11

This picture makes me more uncomfortable the longer I look at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:58 AM
10

Paid match-making sites are a thing? Are they legit? Do normal people under 40 use them? How do you determine if they are a scam or not? Those sound so arcane and while I’m in NO hurry to start dating now, I’m trying to educate myself on how the scene has changed since I was last dating around in 2015.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:48 AM
27

Oh I’m about to vomit now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:44 AM
9

I feel very similarly. I was active in one of the subreddits that was banned today and am bummed out. While I didn’t agree with everything posted there, or here, (or any where- remember critical thinking is important!) people on women’s-focused groups are so civil in debate and it’s mentally refreshing. We aren’t factory-machines robots with identical memory processors and are capable of agreeing to disagree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:26 AM
3

I truly do not understand how about one could think that purposefully being mean to their partner could possibly be acceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:17 AM
7

Oh now I’m curious! Was it a rain barrel? When we make statements like this about how normal other expenses are, it really puts into perspective how CHEAP men can be towards their girlfriends/wives. The most my ex ever spent on me was I think 80 dollars for a bracelet or a 40 dollar ring. We were together for almost five years and that was the best he could do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 03:59 AM
5

Thanks for helping clarify this for me! I’m just beginning the process of educating myself about all of this and it’s somewhat overwhelming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:20 PM
46

Gosh, I’d be so tempted to say “since your time is so valuable, I won’t bother you” and then block. But blocking with no comment is better. Humblebrags drive me nuts, too. Uggh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:15 PM
50

I can only pray this man’s father or male friends see this and beat some sense into him. But seeing as this man is such trash, the other men in his life are probably also garbage. Also, it is a disgusting breach of trust on his part to share this video publicly, what a cockroach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:12 PM
158

This is Gaslighting when they attack a person’s tone, right? My ex would always tell me to calm down whenever I voiced discontent or anger and it sucked to have my emotions/existence minimized like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:11 PM
69

Yeah. Getting a maid saved my parents marriage years ago and now that they’re older, having someone do their heavy yard work is saving them from injury. There’s absolutely nothing wrong. With paying a professional to provide a service. Heck, when I used to rent the bedrooms in my house out to people I had one of the monthly utilities be for a biweekly cleaning service. It helps out so much and keeps your home in better condition overall. But many men seem avoidant of having any kind of help: a d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 10:09 PM
1

Two of my friends see a couples counselor every few months prophylacticly just to talk. They report it’s a good opportunity for them to fine tune their communication and work out any grievances before they become major issues. The wife in marriage is actually a female doctor and I’m pretty sure it was her idea for them to attend counseling together since her profession is so mentally and emotionally taxing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:41 AM
5

Huh, now it makes sense why my ex would get into more and more fights with me after we started couples counseling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:32 AM
9

You’re an inspiration! ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 10:05 PM
10

I wish this woman gave this talk to all the kids in my church’s youth group 20 years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 10:04 PM
2

Aww thank you! To be honest, I feel baffled at all the comments here calling me a queen. I just feel so tired. And i wish it had worked out. My finances took a very serious hit and I am uncertain about what my future will hold. I wish you luck getting out of your marriage and feel free to send a PM if you ever want to vent, you can do it! (Also, getting myself an “imperfect” diamond seriously cut down on the cost!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 09:40 PM
2

❤️❤️❤️ Gosh, when they ask you to keep secrets from your own family- pathetic! Thank you for your kind words! I’m stepping away from the internet now to take my dog out on a hike, have a great day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:37 PM
2

Thank you! It was really pathetic and unbecoming behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:33 PM
3

I’m so sorry this triggered you and you’ve had similar experiences💔 Do you have any resources that helped you move on from your ex? I’ve been working through Codependent No More and Should I Stay or Should I Go. Back at the beginning of the year, he called me autistic and narcissistic in a conversation and that sent me on a massive googling cycle AND really messed with my head. I hope you’re in a better place now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:31 PM
6

Ugggh. You’d probably still be sitting like a good dog ten years later too. I’m glad you’re free as well! 🧡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:27 PM
5

It’s pretty sobering to see the stats on longevity of the sexes in marriage. Men benefit and women sacrifice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:26 PM
13

Thank you! The more I worked on myself, I saw he wasn’t putting in equal effort. Seeing how he reacted so negatively and confrontationally to our therapist was eye-opening. He acted like a petulant child in sessions and then would say things like “Therapist is handling you with kid gloves because you’re pretty and have problems, but he needs to push you more to be better- like I’m doing.” My ex had this unsatisfiable urge for me to always “be better” and I guess he knew what was best for me?! Na…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:25 PM
1

Aww, thank you! 🥰 this thread has been so uplifting and happy. And I’m loving hearing other women’s stories about similar experiences/moving on. Cheers! ☕️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:20 PM
1

Thank you so much! I
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:19 PM
6

Thank you so much! I have a lot to unpack in therapy right now. Even as I’m responding to some of the comments in this thread I’m learning more and more how NOT OKAY this last relationship was and yikes... I’ve internalized a lot. Thank you for the well wishes and take care!✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:17 PM
5

Whoa! I hope your sister is in a better place now, she’s lucky to have a sibling who will give her honest advice, too. It was really impactful for me to hear my brother’s advice on my relationship and then how relieved he sounded when I told him we were over. And thank you! I think guys fixate on the jewelry and just see a price tag/ “gold digger” but it’s about so much more than money and the occasional shut up gifts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:15 PM
5

Congrats on flexing your strength to move on from him! They must know, on some level, how messed up their psychological manipulation is, but they don’t seem to care! Or they’ll make a show of caring at the last minute when it’s way too late. I’m so glad you didn’t have to go through the ordeal of kicking a third man out of your house. This shit is so exhausting! After 5 days, I’ve just about purged every trace of him from the main living and dining areas but there’s still the basement, garage, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 03:10 PM
5

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 07:46 AM
8

Thank you! 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 07:46 AM
26

Thank you! And you don’t know how giddy your LotR comment just made me! As a teenager, I desperately wanted the LotR movie jewelry replicas that were for sale in the skymall catalog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 07:46 AM
7

If you’re looking for a ring similar to what I got, search for “shield/kite diamond ring” and “salt and pepper diamond ring”. You can also search for “Rutilated quartz” or “smoky quartz” if you want a similar look at a lower price point. Then it’s a matter of looking at various shops and reading customer reviews and deciding who you want to work with. I’d also suggest starting your minimum price point above 250 usd to weed out a lot of junk and knock offs. There are a lot of jewelry sellers on E…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 07:34 AM
6

Thank you! And happy cake day to you. 🍰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:22 AM
42

Yeah, this was right after we’d had a conversation where I’d talked about why marriage was so important to me. That it wasn’t because I wanted a husband who would pay all my bills forever but that I wanted to fee unconditionally loved and accepted as a person. After I broke up with him and while he was still living in my house, he said “now that it won’t matter anymore, do you want to hear what my plan was to propose to you was?” I screamed at him to google ‘future faking’ and that whatever prop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:20 AM
4

Thank you! I bought it from a seller on Etsy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:12 AM
4

Thank you and thank you! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:12 AM
17

The quiet is amazing! Being able to read without the constant interruptions and questions is so relaxing and joyful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:07 AM
20

💍🤜🤛💍!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:00 AM
1

💍🤜🤛💍!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 06:00 AM
22

Congrats! It’s a crazy, bright, new world out there isn’t it? I hope you’re doing some nice things for yourself right now! 🧡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:58 AM
7

Aww! I hope you never get into this situation- it’s exhausting. But you’re already here on this subreddit so the chances are good you won’t get stuck treading water for half a decade! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:58 AM
4

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:56 AM
20

Thanks! I definitely simplified it down to “no ring = no more relationship” for the title of this post, but there really was so much more to it than just the ring. At the crux of if, I never felt loved by my ex. His affection for me was always conditional on me needing to constantly “be better”— it was like I was never good enough and it wore away at my self esteem over the years. When we met, we had both talked about marriage and children being a priority, heck, we picked out names for our kids…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:56 AM
44

Thank you! And oh my gosh, I’m never going to string myself along like this again! The thought of dating any time soon is super overwhelming and a lot seems to have changed in the last five years, plus corona complications so for now I’m going to focus on myself, my business, and my volunteer commitments. I really like a lot of the FDS philosophy about living a life where you are honestly happy with yourself before bothering with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:50 AM
13

Thank you so much! I struggled for TOO LONG deliberating over it. “Should I do it, or will he change?” 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:45 AM
89

Oh that sounds amazing! And I bet that solo European vacation was such a blast. Traveling alone is one of the best things a person can do to reset their mind and grow their mental clarity. Your ring must be full of so many positive memories! Promise rings are for teenagers stuck in 1994, not cohabitating adults. Up next I am taking my dog on a little backpacking trip this coming week for my birthday and can’t wait. A long road trip through the mountains and to the beach will hopefully happen lat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:41 AM
25

Thank you! 💞✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:31 AM
49

Take your time and look around for exactly what you want! I was really nervous to pull the trigger and order this ring for myself, especially considering the current economy. To help with the cost issue, I looked at vintage stones, lab-created stones, and salt and pepper diamonds myself because of price and ethical reasons. I follow a lot of independent, female jewelers on Instagram and they do such amazing work. If you do buy through a site like Etsy, take a bit of time to learn about where the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:30 AM
88

Thank you! I’m so glad I bought it for myself and didn’t let him buy it for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:22 AM
214

Another wonderful statement of his was “I don’t see why I have to leave for you to get better.” Uggh. 😖 Yeah, looking back on it, there were MANY red flags that I either didn’t know were red flags or chose to ignore. Definitely fell in love with potential and the idea that if I work hard enough, he will change. Whoops. Eventually, I got tired of putting on my clown makeup every morning and decided to stand up for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:21 AM
12

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 01:00 AM
14

Thank you! ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 12:59 AM
808

Commenting to add: it’s an ethically-sourced salt and pepper diamond and I worked with an independent jeweler to get exactly what I want. About twos months ago, my ex saw me looking at rings like this on my phone and offered to buy me one “not as an engagement ring or anything, but because your birthday is coming up and I don’t know what to get you.” 😖 We are in our early 30s and have talked about marriage being a shared and important goal of ours for YEARS. We even had a plan for a 2018 engagem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 12:56 AM
11

My last straw was when he bailed on couples counseling because he thought our therapist was being too nice to me because I’m pretty. He decided this during the last five minutes of our therapy session and it actually made the therapist speechless for a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 07:10 AM
1

He also wanted me to reread all of our old letters and cards after I broke up with him so I could “help him figure out where it all went wrong” Nah dude, I’m not doing any more free emotional labor for you and I composted those flowers as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 06:20 PM
2

But how will we know they got an engineering degree if they don’t tell us three minutes into every conversation? 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:59 PM
14

Got me flowers this past Sunday- a week after I dumped him and the day before he moved out of my house. He hadn’t gotten me flowers or any gifts that I hadn’t picked out for myself since February of 2019.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:39 PM
22

Ugh. What a scumbag. I bet he only wants another child so he has a chance at having a son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 03:50 PM
8

The bar for men to step above is the floor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 02:16 PM
4

Whoa. Thanks for posting this! It’s similar to how I will get my next dog from a reputable breeder who does health and temperament testing (I don’t want to side track the conversation into one about dogs, but my two adopted shelter dogs both had HUGE behavioral issues to deal with) because I want a pet and not a project. I want a partner and not a project.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:39 AM
2

Never again unless I have a prenup and a ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:37 AM
3

We are in such a similar position! It really has been so much harder breaking up with my ex because I have to kick him out of my house. I wish I’d taken a security deposit and cleaning fee before he moved in (like I did for previous tenants) because even though he will be gone this coming Monday, I don’t think he’ll bother to clean any of his filth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:36 AM
27

Wow, my ex could have written this😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 08:21 AM
1

Oh, yeah, Prana can be very hit-or-miss and their sizes are inconsistent, if you can try them on in person they can be very good. For larger legs, their Halle pant is very flattering. They also have tops that seem to accommodate muscular shoulders, which, as a rock climber, is necessary for me. And I wish you well on your bra sizing adventure! I used to think I was a 36 C until actually measuring myself and getting into the right bra for me- a 28 H! That size sounded crazy when I first hear abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 09:54 PM
1

TrashyDiva makes excellent dresses for curvy women. Don’t let the brand name fool you. Also, for fit and athletic bodies, check out Prana. You mentioned being busty, have you checked your bra size at r/abrathatfits? That can make all the difference in your overall shape as well! Good luck and don’t feel like you have to buy everything’s ok at once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 08:40 PM
87

I hate it how they expect us to both stay in bed and cuddle/have sex with them all morning AND that we will be ready to leave the house 5 minutes after getting out of bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:34 AM
11

Same, sister!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 06:31 AM
7

I am starting therapy to recover from my manipulative and controlling ex who would gaslight me daily!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 10:28 PM
29

Thank you for posting this! I am going to save it to my phone as well. Now that I’ve broken up with my boyfriend he is being strangely nice to me while he is packing up his things to move out of my house. It’s important to remember all the times I called my friends in tears because he said such hurtful things to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:30 PM
3

They have no problem telling you all the countless ways anything you do could possibly go wrong or have a constant need to fact-check you to the point that conversations are debates. But if you ask them to ever clarify or provide an experience/evidence that they could be incorrect they will shut the whole conversation down and say something like “whatever, I’m bad, I’m wrong about everything.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 07:33 AM
14

It is embarrassing/disappointing/pathetic that doing the minimum is enough to make guys think they are hot stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 07:16 AM
7

Ugh, and if you speak clearly, show the tiniest bit of emotion in your voice, or “look angry” then they call you out on being emotional like “whoa, whoa... calm down.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:59 AM
3

Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:40 AM
6

Here’s another one, my boyfriend (who I’m working on separating from- the finances are challenging right now) also said this about the protests going on in the states right now: “If no one reaches out to me and and tells me how I can help, then I’m going to assume they don’t need or want my help and I won’t do anything.” So he sat at home all weekend and gamed while I went to a vigil and also donated 75 dollars (a lot for me while I’m unemployed) to three separate charities in honor of George Fl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:34 PM
8

I’m so sorry that you empathize, sister. I hope you are finding ways to take care yourself. I mean, do men really think people who are depressed want to be?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:28 PM
162

“What can I do to help you not be depressed? Tell me how I can fix you.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:01 AM
5

Then I wish you well! I was making 68k before I needed to change industries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 12:35 AM
3

My white BF just said this about the protests going on right now: “If no one reaches out to me and and tells me how I can help, then I’m going to assume they don’t need or want my help and I won’t do anything.” And that shows me how little he will ever really care about anyone who is not him. It’s disgusting and I need to get out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 12:09 AM
4

That is a very competitive position which generally will start low in pay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 12:00 AM
10

Oh my god, the number of men who don’t believe bad stuff happens to women because “it doesn’t happen to them” is appalling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 04:24 AM
2

I’m looking at rings to buy myself for my birthday next month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:41 AM
1

I wish I could have told my 18-year-old self this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 02:58 AM
27

Give me a man with good skin, nice teeth, muscles and low bodyfat who keeps his house clean, treats me like the best thing that ever happened to him and I’ll be climbing into his lap all the time for sex. For a long time I thought I had some kind of physical or mental “problem” because I’m not sexually attracted to my boyfriend, then I developed a crush on a hot guy at my gym and realized what the real problem was. You can’t expect women to stay attracted to slovenly manchildren who treat you li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 10:37 PM
3

Most men are unattractive to me. I put effort into staying healthy while having a low bodyfat and the strength to do my sports (rock climbing mostly). I spend time managing my diet and I don't overindulge in things. I wash my face and apply sunscreen. I floss my teeth and get them cleaned every year in addition to going in for my annual physical (it's HORRIFYING how many men don't go in for routine teeth cleanings or to the doctor for a physical. Want to have a fun time, ask a dude what blood ty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:51 PM
4

Men are the great over-estimators. They over-estimate their appearance, ability, memory, skills, household contributions, and what they are doing to stay in good shape mentally and physically. I wish I had the self-confidence of a mediocre white man. Instead, I'll keep going to therapy, counting my calories, washing my face, and improving myself a little bit every day. Slowly working my way through my stack of self-help books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 10:35 PM
9

What I think is really low value is how many of them are making memes out of the virus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 06:42 PM
41

I really think it is gaslighting at this point. In Septemberof last year I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 31 and it put SO MANY things into perspective, oh my goodness. Now that I’m on the right meds things are so much easier for me in some ways, but in other ways it shines a light on a lifetime of unhealthy habits and thought patterns. I’ve been sober for the last five months, just completed an outpatient alcoholism treatment program through my doctor, have been going to group therapy ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:00 AM
71

I wish I could give you gold for this comment and more importantly, I wish you well and good thoughts. What you said is so true and sobering and painfully accurate. I’m saving this comment to reflect on it later. Your statement about the blindness of men really hits close to home right now. My LTR live-in boyfriend and I are separating, in couples counseling he said I “was [implying im not anymore] perfect and that’s why he’s so angry and hurt by my actions and insults me- to motivate me to be b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 01:28 AM
2

Sending you some good vibes sister. Sounds like you’re moving in the right direction. 🌸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 08:00 AM
9

Batman and Luke Skywalker (in the original trilogy) are prime examples and Mary Sue characters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:37 AM
1

Yeah, my grandma had a gentleman friend for years. They both had separate houses and grandkids and families but spent time together. Seems like a chill way to have company and not overextend yourself emotionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 02:06 PM
8

The way that men joke about and minimize women’s hormonal and period issues is deplorable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:59 PM
6

It’s really a challenge because a lot of the literature on ADHD and relationships is geared toward the male partner having ADHD and it really manifests differently in women. My partner will constantly tell me “why don’t you tell me how to help you and just try harder?” Which... doesn’t work at all. To be remotely functional i take medication, go to therapy, eat healthy and don’t drink, keep up to date on the newest literature on ADHD and am constantly trying to be better all the time and it’s ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:57 PM
42

I have ADHD and have learned that more women will stay with and ADHD male partner while men are less likely to “put up with it in a woman”. Of course it’s on me to get my own therapy and work on myself, but it does sting a little to see the same behavior I exhibit is more tolerated if it comes from a dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 07:05 PM
55

I’m so sorry. Hope life is better for you these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 07:01 PM
14

I am the worst at texting and really hate it when I get messages during my work. So I tell everyone I know to not text me and call or email to communicate with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:03 PM
8

Not everyone is cut out to be a great parent or a great worker and that’s okay. It sounds like our dads had more skills for caregiving and family management and that worked for our moms. I remember when my dad had his microscope phase and he brought it to my fourth grade classroom so we could all look at different bugs up close.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 07:29 PM
2

Thanks for letting me know! I’ll give it a listen☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:49 PM
15

That study said that both male and female spouses are more likely to cheat when they're economically dependent on their mate. I think it’s important both partners appreciate the contributions the other makes to the household. That doesn’t mean falling down at the door with blowjobs because dad watches the kids, maybe just saying “thanks for making dinner tonight”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:45 PM
8

Why do you think this? I think if you are going to have children with someone you need to be able to trust them implicitly. And that includes with your kids. Both parents are responsible for their upbringing and care. I’m definitely going to leave my kids (if I ever have them) with my husband and brother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:40 PM
6

I’m sorry you got downvoted for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:37 PM
19

I think it’s a fine concept no better or worse than a SAHM. My brother and I were raised by a stay-at-home dad. My mom just retired this year from her job as a President for a very large corporation. My parents are very happily married after 34 years and travel all over the world on holidays. My father faced so much sexism (mostly form other men- his brothers were the worst) for raising me and my brother back in the 90s and my mom also faced a ton of it in the office for being a businesswoman an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:34 PM
5

Oof. I needed to read this today. My bf and I (of 4.5 years... yikes!) recently told me he “has an extreme concept of the Truth, because of what his family and religion pushed on him as a kid.” Basically anything that isn’t a 100% verified textbook statement is a “lie” according to him. I’ve been taking medication and going to therapy to learn how to manage my recently-diagnosed ADHD and learn new methods to be less forgetful, but he constantly tells me I’m lying to him when I actually am forget…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:14 PM
5

Is the podcast mostly good information or more of a long-winded add to sign up for/train to be a life coach? I’m looking for more podcasts to listen to so I can strengthen my mind but I’m kind of afraid to listen to something that might be possibly selling me on buying into a MLM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:50 PM
3

You deserve to have your boundaries respected and men who push alcohol on you are trash. Also, you're a badass for deciding to live sober! If it appeals to you, I would suggest looking up Women's AA meetings in your area to meet other sober women in different stages of life who can help you form a sober, female community. There's usually a lot of talk about generally improving/taking an active role in your personal growth at women's meetings and it's so refreshing to be in an all-female space. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:15 AM
12

And they'll drag their feet about getting STD tests! The fuckboys I used to be in exclusive relationships would be so slow about going to get a test but want to not use condoms right away!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:03 AM
6

It’s lodged too far up his bum to explode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:36 PM
1

I’m curious how fanfiction and anime sex comics factor into this. It’s people’s sexual fantasies without the exploitation of real women. Would it be a sign of a LVM if they read lots of sexy comics online?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 10:26 PM
9

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 08:46 PM
32

I LOVE this attitude! 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:27 PM
23

Is there a FDS relationship advice/personal growth/generalized advice and improvement subreddit? We’ve finally been approved for a couple’s counselor next week but I realize I need to be my own advocate as well and fight for my well being (and take responsibility for where I’m lacking and need to grow in life) R/relationships is a cesspool but I don’t necessarily want to spew out the details of my five years with this guy unless that would be appropriate here. Like I’m sure it would generate goo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:21 PM
6

It totally is a lottery! And even if your parents have a healthy relationship and are not actively telling you “give up everything for the man” you still have to deal with teachers, ministers, shitty father-daughter “purity” dances, “purity balls”, high school total lack of sex Ed, damming messages right and left,all the insidiously pervasive cultural rituals designed around unquestioning female submission to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:35 PM
11

God, I wish I’d found this sub 15 years ago! I grew up in west Texas where they basically brainwash girls that their point in life is to be some man’s wife. That shit is so insidious that even after moving to a liberal coastal state, I acted like a wife to ALL my boyfriends and honestly, none of them deserved it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:53 PM
31

Yeah but we can also do that or pay someone/learn how to fix it ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:17 PM
31

Your comment about conditioning that you didn’t even realize you had strikes so close to home for me. It’s really upsetting to think about my 31 years on this planet being sculpted by men’s desires and me trying to do what “I’m supposed to do to be a good woman.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 09:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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