notthefunkind74 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
531	He never wanted me to pay the rent.	LESSON LEARNED	notthefunkind74	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/04/21 10:30 PM
155	Count the Red Flags: A Conversation with my NVX	LVM LOGIC	notthefunkind74	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/08/21 01:45 AM
126	Memory of a Pick-Me Mindset	MINDSET SHIFT	notthefunkind74	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	17/07/21 09:54 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
97	Your opinion doesn't need to be validated for you to have it. This is such an important point. As women we’ve been through a lifetime of conditioning not to trust our own perceptions. That if we’re disagreeing with external sources, it’s us that’s being irrational or overemotional. Even now that I’m more aware of the patriarchy/misogyny and how pervasive it is, it’s still a struggle to reconcile with the total lack of support from external sources (outside of FDS). Men are one thing but knowing that most of the women I interact with would disagree with a l…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/10/21 06:00 PM
32	Get a female therapist, not a male one Not wanting to fuck someone is a perfectly valid reason to stop dating them! Red flag that he said that at all, but also unprofessional if he used that phrasing. He could have just as easily gotten his (wrong) point across with “you just don’t find him attractive” or “you just aren’t interested in him sexually”. I’ve been doing therapy with a male provider for a while and while it’s not nearly as bad as your stories, I do get irritated with some of his comments. When I started getting into FDS/f…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/10/21 03:54 PM
8	What is it about video games that I, and many others, find so repulsive? I have never (intentionally) dated a gamer, but my ex decided to buy a gaming system when lockdowns started. Of course, at the time I had no idea how long the pandemic would last or how prevalent gaming would become in his life. Around the same time he started gaming, he started trying to abstain from alcohol entirely (or so he claimed) because his alcohol problem was so bad. But he was still going on binges about one weekend a month, where he’d drink until he passed out, wake up, drink until he…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/08/21 03:31 AM
9	Can we share about our LVM experiences? If you haven’t already, you should check out Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. Like your list, there were so many things my ex did that at the time, I rationalized as minor personality quirks, but now I can see were really manipulative and controlling behaviors.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/08/21 02:30 AM
30	Count the Red Flags: A Conversation with my NVX This is exactly it. He always kept me at a distance, never really wanted to have more than a surface level relationship. 95% of the time he didn’t want to interact with me at all, but then when he’d decide to, it was like he wanted to press a button and have me spout out fun activities for us to do. And when my on-the-spot suggestions weren’t to his satisfaction (which they rarely were because he was just a miserable person, that couldn’t be fixed with a hike or a movie), he’d sigh and fidget an…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/08/21 04:28 AM
16	Please comment to share your therapy stories! Particularly couples counseling (fails and wins) I did couples' therapy, maybe 7 or 8 virtual sessions, with my alcoholic NVX. Originally suggested by my (separate) individual therapist. We stopped when X went on a binge that landed him in rehab. I think X must've briefly googled couples' therapy before we started, because he kept going back to "wanting to improve our communication", which wasn't something he'd ever brought up before. He often would miss chunks of our sessions while he took work calls, or he'd sit with his work laptop and be w…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	17/04/21 10:28 PM
6	I shudder at therapists like this giving out this advice to vulnerable women. This is giving me major flashbacks to couples therapy with my alcoholic ex. The therapist would not call him on any of his bullshit, alcohol-related or otherwise. She didn’t even stand up for herself when he was repeatedly rude and confrontational to her. She would ask him a question and he’d spent several minutes picking apart her phrasing, explaining to her why the question didn’t make sense, and then pretending he didn’t understand what she was asking. At times I was so uncomfortable that I i…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/04/21 08:59 PM