~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.I guess I thought we were more than just dating since he often refers to me as his "partner," he's expressed his intention on proposing, and we've been committed/exclusive for 5-6 years. But I guess you're right, we really are just dating, and maybe I shouldn't bend over backwards so much. If this is truly his thought process, I should probably find someone else. | /r/RedPillWives | 10/09/20 11:41 AM |
| 2 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.Thank you. I absolutely agree with what you're saying and I think I'm going to try to push for living together - especially in view of what you pointed out - that we wouldn't be living with each other as just a married couple for long. He is used to older parents (all of his friends' parents are really old) and sometimes I think he just thinks that it will definitely work out - but if there are any hiccups fertility wise, that's a really tight timeline. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 11:54 PM |
| 3 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.There were a couple of things. We both work full time but we're also both in grad school, and I'll be done with my program in two years, so that made sense. He just finished his mba but wants to do a doctorate program and the first 1-2 years are the most stressful, so that also contributed. But you're definitely right that the engagement itself would be easy - really the "wait" should be more for the wedding. I just don't want to reopen the discussion if I don't have to - he gets stressed out an… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 11:25 PM |
| 3 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.So his closest circle of guy friends all have really long term girlfriends. We are the longest at 5-6 years, then there's a few 4 years, and a newer 2-3 year. At the same time, all of his closest guy friends are doing really bad career-wise (while my bf is honestly extremely successful and keeps trying to do even better)- personally I'm really glad I'm not any of their gfs. With one couple, the girl is definitely putting pressure to get married and have kids soon, and all of the guys give him cr… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 10:57 PM |
| 4 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.I don't keep score on whether "wives are included" every time he meets his friends, because I trust he'll invite me if it's something I'd enjoy. Yeah. I guess I don't trust him on this point. and I mean do I need to? Maybe I don't. It sounds like your goal is to get closer to him by being more included in his life, but your actions - nagging him to include you, making him feel guilty and defensive about spending time with his friends, making a fun chill part of his life feel like a chore - are l… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 10:52 PM |
| 5 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.Not the guys in his friend group, the girlfriends who are at the get togethers. They regularly text me when I'm not there, and I think they'd tell me if there were another girl there. But yes, I do think it's time to focus on me. Thank you. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 10:47 PM |
| 2 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.do not put all your eggs in this basket. Well, agree here. I guess this is definitely the heart and soul of my post. I am pretty independent and I think that is why it took me so long to reach this point. I can certainly work on improving myself and absolutely should change my nagging behavior, but as far as not putting my eggs in one basket, should I be looking for another basket? We've been monogamous for so long I'd have to break up before even attempting to find someone else. I do trust that… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 08:58 PM |
| 2 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.I'll take your advice in moving on, but just because a guy isn't in the mood to have sex doesn't mean he's cheating. People can and do get stressed out with working. Even if he were cheating, he would literally only have time for sex and not dates, so he's not really out on the dating market in that sense. His friend group would tell me if he were bringing around another girl. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 08:53 PM |
| 0 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.That's definitely how I feel. But I know there aren't any other women in the picture either. but I feel like I'm just some girl he promised to marry and not an actual girlfriend or wife. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 07:37 PM |
| 1 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.If he leaves you for another woman, you wouldn't waste time from self betterment. Well I agree here, and although I've definitely turned to a lot of things to keep me busy the past couple of years, there is always room for improvement. If he stays for marriage, great. I guess right now I'm not so convinced of this one. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 06:57 PM |
| 0 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.He says within two years, and to be fair, I have agreed to that timeline. But I know that if I'm unhappy two years from now, finding someone else at the age of 32 is going to be a lot harder. Edit: Just to be clear, it is not his proposal timeline that is causing resentment. I trust that we will get married if I stay. But I'm not sure being labeled a wife would help how I'm feeling - but maybe it will! I do think a lot of this could be solved if I lived with him/saw more of him. | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 06:55 PM |
| 2 | I'm feeling a sort of (very gradually) growing resentment in my 5 yr relationship and I want to quash it before I do anything drastic. Approaching 30.I totally understand and apologize for the word vomit. He has given us plans to be engaged within two years. I do have a rotation of some activities (though I don't see friends so much right now during covid), and I think that is why it's taken a while for me to get to a point where I'm writing a post here - for the most part, activities work very well with keeping me distracted/preoccupied!!! But yes, a happy woman does get what she want. And I seriously hate the person I become when I nag and … | /r/RedPillWives | 09/09/20 06:55 PM |
| 4 | Comfort and compliance testing.also reply to /u/propriocepter but piggy backing off of /u/littleeggwyf My bf always treated everything as a sh!t test to pass even when I didn't realize myself what I was doing/that I was actually seeking comfort. The thing is, most of the comfort tests at the beginning of our relationship had to do with this other girl that liked him so I feel like it should have been obvious I was insecure about her instead of trying to control his interactions with her but whatever. Eventually, like /u/littl… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/17 12:23 AM |
| 1 | Advice: Getting your man to OYS?he failed to do 70% of his chores, and he pointed to the fact that I had failed to do 20% of mine as evidence that we were both sucking equally. These percentages are 100% arbitrary. How do you know it wasn't closer to 50/50? My advice is to live like you would without him. Do what you can, cook for yourself, and then let the rest go. Do you really care about all of the household chores getting done, or are you more pissed that he's just not doing them? If you actually really care that much, the… | /r/RedPillWives | 26/06/17 12:03 AM |
| 2 | Pursuing or flirting with someone who is taken?as in taking a more passive role Honestly if you are truly being passive and he makes himself single for you, that's ok. That's completely on him. But if he's taken and happy in his relationship, my point is that you probably wouldn't be able to get him by being passive. You'd most likely have to be come a bit more sexually aggressive to pique his interest and THAT makes you unattractive. | /r/RedPillWives | 25/06/17 11:52 PM |
| 2 | Deal Breakers in Your Relationships - What, Why, and From Where?A lot of people here mention smoking which I find interesting. My boyfriend is a social smoker (trying to quit though) and I secretly love how he smells after smoking but I'd never smoke myself. Anyway, my dealbreakers before marriage would be this: I don't find him attractive Caught lying about interactions with other girls, money, job, or intentions in our relationship Unable to ensure I'm comfortable with his relationship with exes or any female friends Emotional infidelity Makes less than me… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/06/17 11:49 PM |
| 2 | Six Lessons that Lead to Lifelong Love - Laura DoyleI forget that nobody asked me to martyr myself lol omg yes. self care is SOOO important because otherwise you'll be expecting your man to provide you something that you can provide yourself, whether that's entertainment, relaxation, or comfort. taking care of yourself means you bring your best face to the relationship, not the resentful person who's expecting a reward for being miserable | /r/RedPillWives | 07/05/17 10:23 PM |
| 1 | Pursuing or flirting with someone who is taken?I think even strategically this makes you look unattractive. What does it say about you that you have to cast your net at men that are already taken? Shouldn't you be high value enough to be able to attract a good enough single man? In addition, if you are high value enough, the man will make himself single for you. You shouldn't be cheating with him. Also, if you do pursue a taken man, there is no way he will see you as marriage material or respect you, because let's face it...you're going to h… | /r/RedPillWives | 07/05/17 08:45 PM |
| 5 | How Do You Define Cheating?Completely agree. Imagine these two scenarios: Your boyfriend gets plastered on strange drugs in vegas and drunkely hooks up with a stripper. Your boyfriend takes a girl out on a very romantic date who he has been talking to the past month or so. He pulls out all of the stops, they kiss and hold hands on the date, but don't have sex. Situation 2 is automatic dealbreaker and dumping grounds. Situation 1 I could probably forgive, even in an LTR. | /r/RedPillWives | 11/12/16 05:03 AM |
| 1 | Random RP ThoughtsBut what is the flip side to that? Is it sexuality? i've seen a few people mention how womens sexuality is mostly reactive to stimuli whereas men are the proactive ones. I think you're right. I was just reading something (I forget where though!) where a women is horny when she feels desired- that is, when she sees that the male is horny for her, then that makes her horny. Whereas a man can just see a naked woman and get horny, a woman will see a man's boner, process that he wants her, and then g… | /r/RedPillWives | 06/12/16 11:40 PM |
| 1 | gifts for your manJust a heads up that you'll want to plan how you're spreading that $40 over the advent days but you can certainly make it work! I picked up sample packets of my boyfriends favorite peanut butter to fill in over the days so don't overlook stuff like that (Sephora will give you free samples of cologne too btw) | /r/RedPillWives | 02/12/16 02:12 AM |
| 1 | Ideal Male Characters in the Media?Nope I meant Logan the rich guy! Lol I would never call Dean a "bad boy" haha. Logan was fun and adventurous and Rory was his first ever "girlfriend" and even ended up proposing to her at the end of the series. There were a few issues where she struggled with the idea that she had tamed his bad boy past and that he was now more whipped for her. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/12/16 02:09 AM |
| 2 | Random RP ThoughtsI read this article and all I see is some girl trying to make herself feel better after being alpha widowed (love #2) and then settling for someone more safe (love #3) and "unexpected" (because he's not attractive to her)... Just a random speculation though. I could be wrong. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/12/16 02:07 AM |
| 1 | Ideal Male Characters in the Media?I went back and watched everything and I honestly like Logan's character, as well. Jesse was my favorite and their connection kind of reminds me of the kind I have with my boyfriend, but I kind of felt like he really alpha widowed her in a way. Like he was the one who couldn't commit or invest in things and never gave her affection until he realized there was something in it for him or when he realized he was lonely. Also I felt like once they were dating he kind of just became super boring. May… | /r/RedPillWives | 23/11/16 01:46 AM |
| 2 | gifts for your manso last year, I did an advent calendar with small gifts like Tom Ford and other cologne samples (I knew he wanted to try one particular scent so I put that in the first night), airplane bottles of his favorite liquors, super nice chapstick, candles, massage oil (implied massage following), coupons for things (like one night where I buy a super fatty pizza- an indulgence since we're health nuts, and also a "I'll deep clean your room and bathroom" coupon"), a mix CD full of my favorite xmas songs … | /r/RedPillWives | 23/11/16 01:39 AM |
| 1 | Interesting article in Elle on Love and a new personality testah that's awesome! Haha I think you have the most extreme percentages so far | /r/RedPillWives | 04/11/16 08:32 PM |
| 2 | Interesting article in Elle on Love and a new personality testAll 286% of me :D LOL yeah I'm not so sure how the math works out. But as someone else said here, I guess it's more about balance and less about which ones are highest. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/11/16 02:32 AM |
| 1 | Interesting article in Elle on Love and a new personality testInstead of personalities, I was more interested about the dopamine-serotonin-scale. I see it rarely brought up, and those two brain fluids are in key role explaining our behavior but also have an impact on our mental health. Yes absolutely! Thanks for the links you provided. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you got high points as a explorer you are higher dopamine levels, meaning more goal oriented and active personality. Low dopamine suggest more passive or laid-back personality. Loss of pleasur… | /r/RedPillWives | 03/11/16 02:32 AM |
| 1 | SMV and the Aging ProcessYeah I can definitely see it being a huge motivator. Good thing my gym is the next building over :) | /r/RedPillWives | 03/11/16 02:31 AM |
| 1 | Interesting article in Elle on Love and a new personality testWow that was an awesome comment. Thank you for linking it here. I actually wasn't thinking about oxytocin when I was reading the article but duh...that's the main bonding chemical. I'm not as familiar with vasopressin though. | /r/RedPillWives | 03/11/16 02:30 AM |
| 1 | Interesting article in Elle on Love and a new personality testThanks for this! | /r/RedPillWives | 03/11/16 02:28 AM |
| 1 | Interesting article in Elle on Love and a new personality testThis would be my thought! They have cute descriptions on the bottom too of the one you scored highest on. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/11/16 12:17 PM |
| 7 | SMV and the Aging ProcessIt's almost like as a married couple ages, the sort of "implicit dread" reverses. What I mean is that, young women with a medium to high SMV have that sort of implicit dread of just always having options, which is why we discourage talking to guys, having male friends, or anything that could provoke jealousy in their SO- because the fact of the matter is, even if we don't like a male orbiter, we could very easily have sex with him at the snap of our fingers, which is incredibly irritating for an… | /r/RedPillWives | 02/11/16 12:10 AM |
| 7 | SMV and the Aging ProcessThen there's a 25 year old woman who's got a lighter, brighter happier disposition who laughs at his jokes, asks him questions and generally is a less entitled cunt!! Oh, and who is also fucking beautiful and slim. I'm convinced this is going to be my worst nightmare in about 15 years. Definitely motivation to cultivate that "goddess of light and fun" aura all of the time. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/11/16 12:06 AM |
| 1 | Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it upYeah I think my boyfriend knows he's bad news, too. I have stories on stories of the type of stuff this guy gets himself (and sometimes my boyfriend) into. But luckily this only happens a few times a year when he visits...at least until he's done with grad school. | /r/RedPillWives | 01/11/16 11:53 PM |
| 1 | Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it upLol thank you! | /r/RedPillWives | 30/10/16 08:07 PM |
| 1 | Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it uplol be glad you didn't have to read the original lengthy mess of feelings I initially posted | /r/RedPillWives | 30/10/16 08:06 PM |
| 2 | Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it upLol thank you | /r/RedPillWives | 30/10/16 08:06 PM |
| 1 | Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it upThanks. Yeah and I figure most festive things don't really need to be on the exact day anyway. I'm also hoping that when Ryan moves back after grad school, they will hang out more often so my boyfriend will feel less pressured to drop everything for him. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/10/16 08:44 PM |
| 2 | Halloween Para-share!My boyfriend took me on a ghost tour in Old Town Alexandria the other night and it was really really nice. I'm not sure if I believe in ghosts but hearing about the people and stories that happened back in the colonial era makes the history of the place that much more relatable and seem a lot more significant. What really tripped me up are that all of the slaves/poor people were buried in mass graves which are now grass lots and parking lots. No markers or anything. There are also a couple of pl… | /r/RedPillWives | 29/10/16 07:07 PM |
| 2 | Is my mindset too controlling here? Not sure I want to necessarily pick this battle but I thought I'd pick your brains to see if there is anything I can do other than bottling it upThank you. Yeah I definitely feel like Ryan is absolutely this outlet for him. I will try to remind myself of this when I get upset about it. You resent the fact that he will drop everything for Ryan and will plan his whole weekend around Ryan's whims. Yes this, and I'm also kind of jealous they always end up doing something really fun that I would want to do (like go to a winery or beer festival) but my boyfriend can't include me because he is uncomfortable with the possibility that Ryan might … | /r/RedPillWives | 29/10/16 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Cocooning's Web of Mental DysfunctionThis was a really, really great read. Thank you, Camille! | /r/RedPillWives | 23/10/16 02:12 AM |
| 2 | Male-Female FriendshipsIf you find yourself alone with anyone that can make a love-deposit, you need to distance yourself without hesitation. This. Also if you sense that someone is getting love-deposits from you. | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 08:59 PM |
| 4 | Male-Female FriendshipsFemale friendships are difficult because they are rewarding. It's funny how it's harder to forge a connection when it's not based on sexual attraction (which mind you isn't even a real connection, just the sexual shadow of one). If you cannot foster a female friendship, what you are saying is "I don't know how to be friends with someone who isn't trying to fuck me." And I repeat: That isn't a friendship anyway. Before this post, I was already of the mindset that female-male friendships are prett… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 08:56 PM |
| 1 | "Trump's lewd comments about women" - Chime in!I had sort of the same reaction. My bf showed me the video and was like "omg check this out his campaign is OVER" and I watched it and I was like...oh...is that all? Like his comments were disgusting and if I heard my own boyfriend saying that stuff I'd be shocked simply because he respects the idea of marriage, has never been the type to chase women (because they chase him), and because he has never acted so immaturely in trying to win someone's approval. But I already knew Trump was an immatur… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 08:49 PM |
| 2 | "Trump's lewd comments about women" - Chime in!I really completely agree with you. I picked up on the fact that he was trying to win the approval of Billy Bush which is just stupid. Honestly I think Trump is disgusting and repulsive in the same way I think a complete doormat of a man is repulsive. Like he's trying WAYY too hard. | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 08:43 PM |
| 1 | Can a RedPill Wife have it all?This is a good point. Sure, rpw can have it all, but in some cases, why would you want to? Are men expected to cook all of the meals, clean the house, take care of the kids, dote on their wife, AND work-full time? No, so why would we put that pressure on women? | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 07:26 PM |
| 1 | Can a RedPill Wife have it all?Please fulfill those expectations to the best of your ability. I studied a hard science in undergrad, but I always put my emotional and mental well-being first. If I saw that the smartest nerd in the department was struggling with this one problem for a few hours...guess what...I half-assed the problem and then traded in those lost points in exchange for a full night's sleep. Simply not worth it. As a result, I had a B average in that major (but my overall GPA was higher thanks to my easier seco… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 07:20 PM |
| 3 | Can a RedPill Wife have it all?I think a big part of red pill is admitting that women (or at least the women here) are happiest when they prioritize their relationship. That doesn't mean doing what you think you're supposed to do to make your husband happy, it's doing what actually makes you and your husband happy so that your relationship thrives on positive energy. So if your husband likes that you're financially independent and sincerely doesn't mind if the house is a mess sometimes, then I say keep doing what you're doing… | /r/RedPillWives | 10/10/16 07:14 PM |
| 1 | RPW THEORY AT WORKSo glad I read this! I just wanted to say I work with mostly females, as well. And yeah, I know my post is kind of about applying the red pill guy's perspective sometimes at work, but I definitely use some rpw tactics as well- like I know my place, don't really delegate tasks, and I definitely don't nag- I like what's quoted in the top comment here on this post. I've recently figured out that working with all women can just...really cause some drama. I try to distance myself from it, but sometim… | /r/RedPillWives | 09/10/16 01:55 AM |
| 1 | What's In Your Bag?!In my small cross-body, I carry: Debit and Credit card in a secure, mini zipped area Random cash, receipts, and memorabilia (ticket stubs, hotel keypasses, and disneyland ticket!!) A ziplock containing: travel-size tinted moisturizer (I have samples of Laura Mercier I got from Sephora- I love that stuff!) eye liner concealer/cc undereye cream mascara (rarely used) gel blush vera bradley pen a burgundyish Mary Kay lipstick that I sometimes layer lightly on top of this peachy pink one from Ulta ke… | /r/RedPillWives | 06/10/16 02:13 AM |
| 2 | What's In Your Bag?!Same here I hate big purses! I just have my cards, travel-sized make-up in a mini ziplock, my cellphone, and random receipts all in a small cross-body pouch. I used to just have a wallet and hold my phone! | /r/RedPillWives | 06/10/16 01:57 AM |
| 2 | I used redpill to help me at work today in a way I thought I never would...results were straight out of a red pill textbookSo. I am admittedly a self-help book junkie. Yes omg same!!! I've seen that book referenced a lot here so maybe I should check it out! | /r/RedPillWives | 05/10/16 10:06 PM |
| 1 | I used redpill to help me at work today in a way I thought I never would...results were straight out of a red pill textbookThanks :) | /r/RedPillWives | 05/10/16 10:06 PM |
| 1 | I used redpill to help me at work today in a way I thought I never would...results were straight out of a red pill textbookThank you !! I will definitely check out your post :) | /r/RedPillWives | 05/10/16 12:50 PM |
| 2 | Navigating my marriage via the cesspit that is my brain aka - look deeply into your feelings before you get cross with your husband.Not only were both of my thought processes completely unfair to him as he was totally justified in his actions both times, they were also completely contradictory. I'd set him up in my mind in a situation in which it was impossible for him to win! It made me stop and realise that sometimes the things that he 'does' that annoy me sometimes aren't things that he does at all, they are just dramas that I create in my own mind in order to deal with what is going on in my life or just because my mind … | /r/RedPillWives | 02/10/16 04:44 AM |
| 1 | What Are Some Silly Things You Do With Your SO?if he ever called my Baby, Honey, Sweetie it would be super strange. SAME | /r/RedPillWives | 27/09/16 07:45 PM |
| 1 | What Are Some Silly Things You Do With Your SO?Thanks :) | /r/RedPillWives | 27/09/16 07:45 PM |
| 11 | What Are Some Silly Things You Do With Your SO?he gives me a different pet name every time. it's always a synonym for smelly followed by an animal, like "It's good to see you ya stinky baboon" or "I love you my smelly rabbit" or "ahhhh, my foul-smelling gazelle, come here for a kiss." "Doodle brain" and "noodle brain" are also nicknames he uses. I don't know I think it's cute. I also can't ever come up with a good nick name for him so everytime I try he just says "No." We go through waves of inside jokes and eventually most tire out but this… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 10:11 PM |
| 2 | Random RP Thoughts!So I literally just turned on netflix and decided to try this show "Easy." I normally don't watch stuff like that but it's trending so I figured I'd at least see what it is. Literally the first scene is a guy talking about a study showing how couples with more "gendernormative roles" (meaning couples that are more traditional) have more sex. Then this stay-at-home dad realizes he and his wife stopped having sex when they decided to make him a stay-at-home dad with the kids. Obviously the women i… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 06:46 PM |
| 3 | Random RP Thoughts!I think these are excellent examples of privileges husbands should get but not long term boyfriends. I have one that my boyfriend doesn't know about and I'm hoping never comes up: Anal. I don't think I could have anal sex with someone I wasn't married to. I trust my boyfriend completely, but god forbid we break up and the next guy I date wants to do it and asks if I have ever done it before. I'm not a virgin, but I don't want my future husband to find out someone has done something physical with… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 06:08 PM |
| 2 | Random RP Thoughts!My very first post here was sort of along the same question- more like...what should I be doing as a girlfriend that wants to be a wife but who isn't a wife yet? I think you should just do what you feel is right. I'm more of the line of thought that you should be treating your boyfriend more like a husband and not really withholding a lot so that he knows what it would be like to be married to you and also so that you can prove you are worth marrying. I do think the boundaries laid out by //u/be… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 06:02 PM |
| 2 | Random RP Thoughts!for example, if I believed in no sex until marriage, I wouldn't want to be with a guy who just married me because he wanted to bang already. Such a good way to look at this. | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 06:00 PM |
| 2 | When your SO is being a jerk?I am always on his side, even if a small thought has crossed my mind that maybe something he is doing doesn't at first seem like the nicest thing. If it doesn't affect me, I really can't make any judgments about the decisions he makes. For example, if I see my boyfriend cancel plans on one of his friends last minute, I'm not going to say anything and even support his decision to do so. I don't know what the situation is, and so I choose to trust that while that might not seem very nice on the su… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 05:58 PM |
| 3 | How to handle salty/judgemental comments about my relationship?Stop blabbing about the deets of your relationship! THIS. The comments people are making to OP would never have been made if she hadn't shared that. I recently had a goof when talking to EDIT: my friend and her mom, not my mom and her friend. We were all talking about our boyfriends and luckily the conversation was steered toward cute things our guys do for us and I mentioned that my boyfriend brings me bath bombs before he goes on guys' nights because I think he is able to have more fun knowing… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 05:51 PM |
| 3 | Homemaking question!I just moved somewhere new and had the same problem! I think part of the problem was that I was trying to save on utilities and not running my air conditioning but I turned it on a couple of days ago because my boyfriend was coming over for the weekend and I know he hates hot places (whereas I don't mind at all because I get cold easily). Having the air conditioner and the fan on really got rid of that paint smell that was here before. I also have decorated a space in my bathroom with (the new h… | /r/RedPillWives | 25/09/16 05:36 PM |
| 3 | Help me decide my best living situation for the next year or so?You're right. My boyfriend's friends should have no influence. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/16 01:45 AM |
| 3 | Help me decide my best living situation for the next year or so?yeah. he suggested moving in with my dad would be good but also said he thinks I'd really really love living on my own. He disapproves of the party girl situation but realizes that's sort of the compromise between the two extremes. My dad said I am of course always welcome to stay with him but wants me to either live with roommates or on my own so that I can "grow and blossom." | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/16 01:43 AM |
| 3 | Help me decide my best living situation for the next year or so?My dad's is not at a metro stop, but the 1br and shared townhouse are. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/16 01:41 AM |
| 3 | Help me decide my best living situation for the next year or so?Yes I'm completely with the party girls = nope. I guess my own parents see that as the "compromise" option between living with my dad v. living on my own but I totally feel you. | /r/RedPillWives | 29/07/16 01:41 AM |
| 4 | Help me decide my best living situation for the next year or so?They would all tell me to live at my Dad's and not consider my boyfriend...unless people ask questions there to help factor in happiness and stuff like that? I just think they would all think I was being crazy for planning something so big around my boyfriend. | /r/RedPillWives | 28/07/16 08:14 PM |
| 3 | Name one thing you'd like to change about yourself to improve your relationship?but I sometimes drive myself mad or physically sick trying to know exactly what every potential outcome of any potential decision may be, so that I can "plan accordingly." It's my risk-adverse, future oriented nature. Ugh same here! I'm stealing yours!! I should just trust everything is going to be ok | /r/RedPillWives | 28/07/16 07:19 PM |
| 1 | "I like that you like girly things"Will do :) | /r/RedPillWives | 28/07/16 07:17 PM |
| 1 | Facing ConsequencesOh man. About a year ago, one of my best friends (who was also my roommate at the time) and I had a bit of a falling out mostly due to the fact that I was prioritizing my boyfriend, and said a lot of things like "you are completely bending over backwards to please him" (in a negative tone) and meaner things like "your head is completely up his ass." When both of us later apologized and talked about it, she realized that she was also being a bit ridiculous in her expectations. She was upset that … | /r/RedPillWives | 17/07/16 01:43 AM |
| 2 | I have become the shrew that we strive not to be - help pleasehaha yes. Maybe this is bad advice (I'm somewhat new here), but typically what I do is let myself stew for a bit. Then, if I still feel like something is an issue, I think of possible ways I could bring it up, and then imagine the worst possible response from my boyfriend. If anything could possibly be interpreted as selfish, nitpicky, drama seeking, etc., I try and think of a new way to say it. If everything I say could be taken as selfish, nitpicky, etc. or lead to a worse outcome, then I figu… | /r/RedPillWives | 16/07/16 11:09 PM |
| 2 | I have become the shrew that we strive not to be - help pleaseIs your brain my brain?? This is exactly how my hamster works. thank goodness I have the self control to let it just totally run wild and exhaust itself before I say anything. I'll try and remind myself next time that I'm just scared. | /r/RedPillWives | 15/07/16 10:14 PM |
| 2 | Standing up for your man - is it ever appropriate?I always have my man's back and I'm 100% supportive. I think a really good rule of thumb for pretty much all situations is to never start a fight (even if it's coming from a defensive stance), but there are times when it may be appropriate to defend yourself when someone else starts it. Instead of looking at who or what to determine situations, I think an easier method is just to not do anything unless someone else starts it. I don't follow basketball, but it looks like from what you wrote that … | /r/RedPillWives | 19/06/16 04:08 AM |
| 1 | Need advice on delicate financial situation. I'm having trouble being a good first mate!I completely understand not wanting to cancel your wedding. My best friend got about $10k that her father had saved for her wedding, and her dad kept insisting she go to the courthouse and use that money for a down payment instead. She and her husband decided a wedding ceremony was really important to them and made it work with that and some other money they had. She is very frugal and I understand they have saved up at least that much since their wedding which was only last year. What helps her… | /r/RedPillWives | 19/06/16 03:36 AM |
| 1 | Need advice on delicate financial situation. I'm having trouble being a good first mate!Is most of the wedding paid for? I agree with /u/TempestTcup- you should not be using that money to support your life. However, I do think that since you have it, it would be wise to use that as a down payment on a condo in a safe neighborhood instead of keepign it liquid. Maybe used 20-30k of it as a down payment and the rest of emergency fund. Your mortgage will hopefully be about the same as rent, but you'll have some equity and be working toward owning it. Then, if the time ever comes where … | /r/RedPillWives | 16/06/16 03:01 AM |
| 3 | RPW Movie Night: What are some great movies/documentaries/TV shows that are worth watching?Honestly Gilmore Girls is what my roommate and I have been watching a lot of lately. We like to point out what Rory does right (prioritizing family and school, not worrying about popularity, staying modest and not slutting it up) and her mistakes (branch swinging to Jesse, asking out guys in college). My roommate isn't a part of this community but she's pretty naturally red pill. Lorelai's a mess though. | /r/RedPillWives | 12/06/16 06:21 PM |
| 2 | RPW Movie Night: What are some great movies/documentaries/TV shows that are worth watching?Seconding Amelie and Cruel Intentions! | /r/RedPillWives | 12/06/16 06:18 PM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you for this. Honestly what you said makes me feel a lot better. I'm glad someone is here to remind me that I can't expect instant results and that it's normal for things to take a while :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/16 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you for your analysis. I still need to think a lot about what you wrote. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/06/16 06:14 PM |
| 2 | Keeping Score in Your a RelationshipThank you so much for this post!!! So on my phone, I have an S-Note feature where I can write/draw/post pictures etc. Kind of like a mini-pinterest. I put a picture of where my bf and I went on vacation last year, as well as screenshots of helpful comments that I've gotten from this subreddit. Then I wrote in handwriting all of the awesome things I could think of that my SO has done for me. It's the background to one of my screens (meaning I swipe right from home a few times and there it is). | /r/RedPillWives | 12/06/16 06:13 PM |
| 3 | Characteristics Of Feminine BeautyI find that being a bit bronzed will sexify my baby face | /r/RedPillWives | 05/06/16 10:17 PM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Question. Why do you want more husband traits from him when he's not your husband? While at the same time you state clearly that you resent giving him wifely traits before marriage? This is a clear double standard. Yeah I resent it BECAUSE he's not giving me the husband traits. like should I pull back a bit on the wife traits? For what it's worth, I've decided to not pull back and go all in. I'll let you all know how that pans out. I have thought about the attraction stuff but honestly he could … | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/06/16 04:14 PM |
| 2 | Repost from /r/redpillwomen: Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.You also seem to be thinking, "Anyone who shares my feelings would obviously arrive at Y. Therefore, If someone does not do Y, it must be because they don't share the same feelings as me." Can you see how this is wrong and harmful to your relationship? Your boyfriend is not you! He approaches situations differently because he is his own person with his own motivations, interests, strengths, and weaknesses. This I identify with and we've actually talked a lot about this. It can actually go the ot… | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 09:39 PM |
| 2 | Repost from /r/redpillwomen: Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you for the insight here. I have a feeling my bf might be kind of similar to your h. | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 09:30 PM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Of course I've thought about the fact that maybe I'm a placeholder, and have vocalized that fear to him a few times. I haven't really considered the culture aspect though because he's only ever seriously dated girls like me | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 07:03 PM |
| 2 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you for your clarification here. I think you're very right that withholding "let's not move in together" isn't going to change any minds. Your point about me not wanting to be submissive because I don't feel safe is spot on. I will check out the book you recommended :) I think you're right that I need to get rid of fear. I'd be ok in a long term relationship but not "married" if it were a secure, lifelong commitment. I do enjoy the relationship, so I will try to focus on the positive more. | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 06:59 PM |
| 2 | Repost from /r/redpillwomen: Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.I'm really glad you commented here because this honestly reassures me that the imbalance isn't a red flag or that he doesn't care as much. It is really great to hear that that's how it should be working and that there are successful relationships with that dynamic. I think I would be OK letting him own me to a pretty large extent, as he is a good captain, as long as I know that that is what's happening. I guess sometimes I'm scared that the lack of fairness like that means he doesn't care about … | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 06:43 PM |
| 2 | Hobbies, Crafts, and Recipes Megathread + An Announcement!Oh man Emma Bovary- the original desperate housewife. Flaubert really nailed it- I guess that's why they say he's a realist. I also recommend this as a good book to read through an RP lens. | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 06:08 AM |
| 2 | Hobbies, Crafts, and Recipes Megathread + An Announcement!champagne flutes my friend and I made at the beach last weekend and a stencil I made of my boyfriend I used to spray paint him on canvas...I forgot to take a picture of the final painting before giving it to him but I wouldn't want to post it anyway since he's a huge stickler about online privacy...but I think the stencil I have is ok to share :) | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 05:59 AM |
| 1 | Thoughts on deference and the need to be rightI did this tracking for a couple of months and by so doing internalised for myself that we are both invested in each other and the relationship. I still write down the good stuff he does for me in my journal to remind me to be greatful, but I no longer track. Since we are both trying to be mindful of the other why keep a score. I love this. I need to internalize that very same thing- that we are both invested. | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 05:46 AM |
| 1 | Thoughts on deference and the need to be rightYes thank you!!! I can COMPLETELY relate to getting defensive due to an insecurity, and I can definitely see why trust is the number one solution to this. | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 05:42 AM |
| 3 | Repost from /r/redpillwomen: Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you so much for your helpful post!!! So I definitely agree that in the early stages of a relationship, you definitely should focus on yourself and have more of an attitude where you assess the guy and make sure he earns your devotion, trust, and respect. My boyfriend passed the beggining dating phase with flying colors and so I naturally was very happy to go out of my way to make sure he seeemd happy, and I think that that attitude played a huge part in him wanting to make things exclusive… | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 05:37 AM |
| 1 | Repost from /r/redpillwomen: Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you!!! I already do! | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 04:04 AM |
| 4 | Handling hurt feelings?I can totally relate. By the time I actually say something, whatever I'm upset about is such a big deal to me that I no longer have the patience for anything less than the solution I want, so of course when I don't get the exact outcome I want, that makes it worse. When you leave the situation, I would try writing down what you're upset about and why and then letting it sit. Really think about what the issue is- if the bigger issue is that you feel he doesn't care, isnt taking you seriously/resp… | /r/RedPillWives | 04/06/16 02:12 AM |
| 2 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.I could see myself with him long term without official marriage if that meant we were in a stable lifelong commitment with a family. Thanks. I definteily think you're right. I am insecure that I'm not good enough, and it doesn't help that I feel like I screw up a lot. Thanks though :) | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 02:01 AM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.My boyfriend was in a three year long term relationship for part of high school and college, and then another girl before her in high school for like 6 months. These were the only other two girls that he referred to as "gf", and says really he's only been serious with me and that other girl. The 3-year relationship was also long-distance for the college part, and he says I'm the first girl he's ever dated who he's hung out with/slept over with on pretty much an everyday basis. Most girls he's be… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 01:39 AM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.So we've lightly treaded on the topic. I do know that he comes from a conservative family and on top of that, his step-dad is foreign and in his culture, the men always finish not just college but grad school (and I think his dad wants him to get his masters since his company is paying for it) before marrying. The parents don't meet SOs until they're seriously considering marriage. He also thinks his step-dad wouldn't approve of him dating anyone before buying a house. So I have yet to meet his … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 01:26 AM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you! | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 01:17 AM |
| 2 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.making a list of all the good that their SO does for them and looking over it when then feel the need to compare cropping up. OMG thank you for this! Something concrete I can start doing. I was reading the Surrendered Single last year and just recently started reading the Surrendered Wife. I think your post has been the most helpful on this thread. Honestly it's just reassuring that other women have felt this way- it kind of reassures me that this is a somewhat normal dynamic at times instead of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 01:12 AM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Oh I know. He is TEXTBOOK alpha EXCEPT that he is always telling me not to judge other women based on their sluttiness and genuinely believes the girls hitting on him aren't trying to manipulate him... so he is obviously not plugged in, but certainly has a natural abundance mentality and use of dread | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 12:59 AM |
| 1 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.I was never ever trying to imply I would withhold sex. Obviously I would never use it as a weapon. I guess I was trying to see if there was anything else I should be withholding (like moving in, etc.) to sort of separate our relationshp from one of marriage- because otherwise, there is no incentive for him to commit for life. Yes, he is definitely my alpha. However, I would CERTAINLY know if he were actually seeing anyone else. We hang out literally every single day and we're in constant communi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/16 12:57 AM |
| 1 | Daily mindfulness ritualsExercise is part of my ritual too! Doing something that makes me feel sexy for him allows me to reflect on why he's so great and motivates me to work harder. | /r/RedPillWives | 02/06/16 11:46 AM |
| 1 | Daily mindfulness ritualsI love this! | /r/RedPillWives | 02/06/16 11:44 AM |
| 2 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.I mean I could write a novel on it but I feel like that might upset me more when I've made such progress moving on and getting over it. Basically my boyfriend is very attractive in an understated way and so it seems like every girl he interacts with thinks they've found something awesome and since he's so modest and nice (no douschebag vibes) would be easy to snag up. He's not-he is actually very sexually conservative due to his culture but most girls don't know that and assume he's always down … | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/16 11:26 AM |
| 2 | Help with my mindset? How much should I be giving him when we're not married but we already have sex? Balance b/w proving I'm wife-material but not giving him everything.Thank you for your very well thought out post. I am in fact keeping score, but it is so so hard for me to not compare. How do I shut this off?? What's worse is that I'm an attorney and think like this for a living. The first tiff was meant to show that I sometimes feel that his standards of obedience are kind of strict and when I can't follow them, get the silent treatment. It had nothing to do with me being at his gym, but the fact that I pointed out that someone he said went against informatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/16 11:03 AM |
| 1 | Is dumping a cheating husband about seeking validation while staying with him is about admitting you were a bad partner?I'm not allowed to have feelings that are an inconvenience to her in any way. I think I get it. thanks so much for your comment. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/06/16 01:24 AM |
| 2 | Is dumping a cheating husband about seeking validation while staying with him is about admitting you were a bad partner?I'm just curious what your ex did that made guys emotionally numb? | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/16 09:58 PM |
| 1 | Dating a guy who is too confident/flirty?Agreed here. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/03/16 02:04 PM |
| 1 | This is now the third time my relationship has gotten ultimatum-y (similar reason each time) and I'm not sure if I should just cut my lossesWe've been dating for a little over a year, but have only been official for almost 11 months. I answered /u/PhatomDream09's post about the plate idea. I'll admit sometimes I feel more like a FBW if we go through a period where all I do is hang out at his place or go out with his friends, but recently he's picked up the date night thing again. If he has other women, he certainly isn't seeing them in person and it would HAVE to be by text only. We hang out literally every single day and when we do… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/16 05:47 PM |
| 1 | This is now the third time my relationship has gotten ultimatum-y (similar reason each time) and I'm not sure if I should just cut my lossesHmm. I have thought this a bit. But here are some things I read in that plate article that make me think I'm not: I've been introduced to all of his close friends. He did give me the title girlfriend, but he was serious about it. He said the last official girlfriend he had was his ex, and they broke up 3-4 years ago. He's only had three official girlfriends, and said he's never felt so strongly about anyone before. He takes me out on dates and spends a lot of money on those. We hang out literall… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/16 05:42 PM |
| 1 | This is now the third time my relationship has gotten ultimatum-y (similar reason each time) and I'm not sure if I should just cut my lossesThank you. Let me know if it's still too long and I can try to clean it up but I think I got the bulk of it whittled down. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/16 05:35 PM |
| 3 | Clothing advice for petite women?5'2'' and 90 lbs here: Tailor your work outfits to fit you. Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister have recently started taking off their logos off of their clothing...their dresses, sweaters, etc. are honestly excellent. I just don't tell anyone where I got them. Also I have tank tops from them but I try to get the ones where the little bird is on the bottom so I can cover it with a high waisted skirt. You might fall into the Charlotte Russe/Forever 21/H&M trap because their stuff runs small. Some o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/03/16 03:10 PM |
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