~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | What are some tell tale signs a man is into porn?Ideally you would figure this out before having sex, but i’ve discovered some red flags that come up in sexual relationships that indicate porn consumption. If he seems determined to follow some sort of formula or script, or if he has unshakable ideas of how sex “should” go, it’s probably because it’s the way most pornos are designed. Like, if sex is always two seconds of groping, then a blowjob, and then the same three positions until he finishes? Porn sick. If he tries to make you feel bad abo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/21 08:21 PM |
| 1 | I don’t know why women don’t give men a taste of their own medicineSuch a fantastic point! The ability to imagine a scenario in reverse is something I ADORE about my high value husband, and he has accordingly never made me feel insecure (like anybody would if they had to put up with behavior like the examples OP gave). When we planned our wedding, I joked about him seeing strippers, and he very seriously responded that he hated the idea precisely because he would be upset if I went to see male strippers. The few times he wanted to try something I’d never done b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 08:35 PM |
| 25 | Unpopular Opinion: Why you should date in your own leagueis the concept of holding yourself to a high standard good? absolutely, of course. however… why do we need a reminder to develop ourselves socially, personally, physically, financially, et cetera on THIS sub for the implied purpose of attracting a hvm? the world at large constantly spews about the insufficience of women, and women are hounded by accusations of hitting the wall, having unrealistically high standards, and only wanting men for their money. women have grown TIRED of this, and they’r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 07:55 PM |
| 3 | Girl, just no. And of course he’s turning 40 and she’s early 20s!!! Nooooo.lord have mercy…. i’d like to take this moment to give a big thank you to my chronic impatience. without it, i would’ve found myself in this situation during my pickme stage. at least i was a pickme that moved on quickly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 02:19 PM |
| 39 | men are self-aware, when they truly want to help, they give FDS type of advice. HVM agree with FDS, only the misogynists whose tricks are exposed by this sub slander it.beautifully explained! my exes who identified as feminist saviors for womenkind were the most pathetic men i’ve ever met (i’ve never personally had an abusive ex, but they were still a seven layer casserole of terrible in other ways). do you happen to have the info on that study? i’d love to read it | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:50 PM |
| 3 | Green Flag: effort and attention that isn’t designed to get something in returnthank you so much! honestly, the beginning of our relationship wasn’t ideal, and i would never encourage someone to enter a relationship that looked like mine in the beginning. i made a whole post about it in the past, if you want to look through my profile! i truly believe that both of us have grown into high value humans together (and plan to keep improving ourselves every day), but that means our “falling in love” story isn’t something to look at for inspiration. i would encourage you to ask … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:43 PM |
| 6 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /si kinda love this analogy to poop 💀 it’s private, but there’s no shame in it. i think it’s a wonderful way to illustrate that you don’t have to beat yourself up about your sexual past to acknowledge its nobody elses business | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/07/21 01:21 PM |
| 135 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /sforget orgasms, women are seen as shallow for wanting a partner they find remotely attractive | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 10:18 PM |
| 129 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /sthis reminded me that theres a porn category about “unwanted” cum inside the vagina, in the mouth, on the face, etc etc. the lack of enjoyment is probably a huge reason they desire it so much | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 10:14 PM |
| 32 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /si feel it’s worth adding to your comment to say this: (using the royal you, not speaking to you exclusively) you don’t have to provide someone a carfax report on your sexual past to express sexual preferences. if a relationship gets to that point, thats when you become vocal about your likes and dislikes. many people use talking about their past encounters as a way to explain their tastes, but that’s not necessary at all. let things unfold naturally, redirect when you aren’t enjoying something, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 10:09 PM |
| 139 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /sthis caught my attention too. he deeply resents her, he feels humiliated, these thoughts are always bothering him, etc etc etc.… then leave??? i cannot imagine dating someone whom i resented, felt constantly bothered by, and who made me feel unfeminine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 09:55 PM |
| 186 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /sI’m so so sorry that you were not only repeatedly raped, but then constantly questioned about why you wouldn’t enthusiastically reenact it. Your rape was real. The pain, physical and emotional, was real. Your trauma is real. Intentional misinterpretation of your assaults have absolutely no bearing on the validity and reality of what you experienced. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 09:00 PM |
| 124 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /sYES. The lack of curiosity about WHY she doesn’t want to do these things is so appalling. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 08:55 PM |
| 285 | have you ever done something sexual you didn’t enjoy? too bad! you now owe it to all future partners /si didn’t even think about it from this angle! very “give an inch, take a mile” energy. then they have the gall to say it’s women that treat sex like a commodity | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/21 08:04 PM |
| 19 | Girl, you need the FBI, not relationship advice 😳this is such a minor issue compared to fetishizing dead rape victims, but still, i have to say: bipolar disorder does not relate to this shit AT ALL. i’m bipolar, and i don’t want to fuck dying people, and i wouldn’t expect my husband to tip toe around my feelings just because i’m bipolar if he thought i was doing something this horrible. women need to stop using mental health issues as justification for absolute depravity when the same men would turn around and accuse them of hysteria for expre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 09:26 PM |
| 330 | A scrote blocked the sidewalk with his car in order to flirt.lord have mercy, the AUDACITY. if a man pulled up on the sidewalk to block another man, it would be seen (accurately) as a threat, but when it’s a WOMAN?? baby, just a compliment, try not to be such a prude /s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/21 02:59 PM |
| 8 | Since some people seem to think we mean “very wealthy” when we say High Valuei married my husband when he was unemployed (immigration process, specific visa with intense restrictions, blahblahblah). i know it goes against the handbook, and i’d NEVER encourage another woman to marry someone unemployed. i, however, made the decision to marry him because he was still high value in the sense that: 1. he had saved up enough to support himself (and me) during the process 2. he has three degrees, so i knew finding employment would be easy for him once he was allowed to search f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 09:06 PM |
| 5 | An example of fragile masculinity on steroids. This is actually a thing 🤢Huh, I mentioned this to my husband and he laughed because he had never even realized 24 sounded like that phrase. He lived in both rio and São Paulo as a kid, so he has a mixed up accent, and that could be why he never heard the similarity before. Perhaps it comes from both? Who knows. Either way, it’s such a silly idea. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/21 12:36 AM |
| 28 | An example of fragile masculinity on steroids. This is actually a thing 🤢Thanks so much for clarifying! My husband said it was popular when he was a kid in his quick explanation, so I assumed it was a kids card game, lmao. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 05:28 PM |
| 216 | An example of fragile masculinity on steroids. This is actually a thing 🤢I have a Brazilian husband and asked if this was actually a thing, and it really is. Apparently there was some card game (?) years ago with different animals assigned different numbers. The deer was assigned number 24. The word for deer and and a gay slur in Portuguese sound the same, so the jokes about the deer being a gay animal transferred to 24 being a gay number by association. The point is, it’s SUCH A STRETCH for 24 to be a “gay number,” but it’s culturally accepted as such. Homophobia an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 03:10 PM |
| 5 | Female Dating Strategy is not heteronormativeI love this post so much. Thank you for taking your time and energy to address an issue as complex as heteronormativity while being so sensitive to your fellow lesbian and bisexual FDSers. As a bi woman, I see a lot of pushback recently about bi women talking so highly of female versus male partnerships. As an example, “my type of woman is woman, and my type of man is insert mile long list of necessary characteristics here. Critics say it’s dangerous to put all wlw relationships on a pedestal (w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/21 02:57 AM |
| 50 | Another reason why vetting is so crucial. Imagine passing away and the father of your children is so incapable that he uses your daughter as his maid & chef. Disgusting.Dunno why, but reading this made me think of that horrible phenomenon where men act like they’ve suddenly realized women are people too once they’ve had a daughter.... As though having a mother, sisters, and wife wasn’t enough, or despite being able to just fucking use their eyes and brain to determine women are also people. So on one hand, daughters are essential for LVM/NVM to ascend to the level of enlightenment necessary to recognize that women have feelings. On the other hand, daughters are… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/21 12:11 PM |
| 3 | 50/50 Relationships are NOT equal. It’s a SCAM, ladies.This is so disgusting. Even before I found FDS, I always said 50/50 was a scam. I did and still do believe that relationships (once married, not while in the early stages of vetting) should be 100/100. Right now, my 100% looks pretty pathetic. I’m dealing with health issues, and it impacts every day life. But it’s still my 100%. My husbands 100% is much more productive than mine. But we’re both giving 100%. Just like when I was employed and my husband wasn’t, our 100%s looked uneven. But he was … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/21 09:15 PM |
| 35 | contrary to belief deadbeat dads are very proud of being deadbeatsYup. I fully believe the FDS principle of vetting a man for life, so even though I’m married, I’m always aware that my husband could fuck me over eventually. I believe he won’t, and I love him, and I believe he’s genuinely a good man... but I will never entrap myself by having children. I wouldn’t want to raise a child alone. I wouldn’t want to raise a child with minimal help from my partner. I would resent the child, and I’d hate my life. I will never assume that risk, because I simply don’t ha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/21 05:12 PM |
| 3 | Woman asks if it’s acceptable for her boyfriend to want to split the cost of her ENGAGEMENT RING. The highest voted comment is just sad. 50/50 is always a scam.I didn’t realize that diamonds have a one color palette sparkle! Like I mentioned, my mom is great with gems, but I’ve never been big on jewelry myself until I got engaged (and all of my recently accumulated knowledge is very moissanite specific, lol), so you’ve taught me something new ❤️ The hardness was one of the major selling points for me, because I did want to wear it every day, and I was afraid of banging up a less dense stone. Honestly, this is bigger than I previously imagined an ideal … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 11:30 PM |
| 5 | Woman asks if it’s acceptable for her boyfriend to want to split the cost of her ENGAGEMENT RING. The highest voted comment is just sad. 50/50 is always a scam.Of course! I’ve only been married since august (and we had a very short engagement, so I’ve only worn it briefly before then), so I don’t have years of experience or anything, but so far it behaves exactly like a diamond. My mom has an incredibly good eye when it comes to identifying gems, and she believed it was real before I told her. It has the exact same clarity as when I got it. I wear it to sleep and shower, and I have noticed that it seems to develop a soap scummy film more quickly than t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 11:12 PM |
| 7 | Woman asks if it’s acceptable for her boyfriend to want to split the cost of her ENGAGEMENT RING. The highest voted comment is just sad. 50/50 is always a scam.A pretty, sturdy ring doesn’t have to be thousands upon thousands anyways. Men allowing their partner to pay for half of a ring when budgeting and simple research would make it an easy purchase is nauseating. I would never tell people irl the price of my ring (I feel like it’s a weird piece of info to share), but I’ll say here that it only cost $750. I’ve posted it before. It’s sterling silver and high quality moissanite that my husband found from a jeweler having a nice sale. I LOVE my ring bec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/21 10:22 PM |
| 1 | Yes, FDS ladies preserve warm and positive vibes for those who deserve them and say no to the restThis is fantastic. I have two male coworkers whom I adore, and according to them, I’m the most bubbly, helpful, cheery coworker they have. To my boss, however, I’m cold and strictly professional. When he tries making small talk, I ignore him completely. I don’t have time or energy for him, because he’s selfish, sexist, homophobic, racist, and flat out rude. I don’t care what he thinks of me because my work speaks for itself. Why WOULD I care what he thinks when all women, according to him, fall … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/01/21 04:35 PM |
| 2 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandI completely agree that therapy isn’t a catch all solution, and the mindset you have while going into it is everything. I was trying to clarify what the other commenter meant, because I also don’t see a reason for my husband to go solo, but I wanted to try and understand what she meant by suggesting seeking individual before couples. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 05:24 AM |
| 9 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandI think he landed on couples counseling because I expressed fear that I’ll be unable to just “get over” this realization anytime soon, but I don’t want to emotionally punish him for things that happened in the past, he is unable to change, and aren’t happening currently. I suppose the couples counseling would function as a way to generate ideas about how to move forward together in a practical way. If we end up going to counseling (which I’m rethinking at this point) I’ll absolutely prep some in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 12:57 AM |
| 11 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandThat’s also a great point, we certainly are conditioned to accept “ignorance” as an excuse | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/20 12:48 AM |
| 28 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandI’m absolutely continuing to vet and analyze, and I appreciate the encouragement to monitor the attitudes and behaviors moving forward, not just at this moment. Also, holy shit, I’m so glad you got away from that guy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 11:54 PM |
| 6 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandI think I’m trying to move forward because none of it was abusive, just really unaware and unacceptable because of lack of effort. Also, like I said, he’s seemed to drop those behaviors of his own volition. But I agree, I wouldn’t tolerate any of it now. I’d also rather get a divorce that deal with those behaviors if they were current. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 11:48 PM |
| 23 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandI’m already in individual counseling (focusing on unpacking things from my childhood, so I kinda wanted a different way to get feedback about my relationship so I didn’t pause the progress I’m making in regular therapy). If I did do individual therapy for this issue though, would you recommend urging my husband to seek therapy as well, or are you talking about just myself going to individual therapy? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 11:45 PM |
| 12 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandOooh, I hadn’t thought of this. I can absolutely see how thats true, though. Do you think a female counselor would have a better chance of not enabling bad behaviors? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 11:43 PM |
| 5 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandHe didn’t know the lack of romantic gestures would hurt me back then - it was thoughtlessness, not malice. The lack of commitment stemmed from the fact we would soon be long distance if we got into a relationship, which he wanted to avoid. He knew I was disappointed about the lack of commitment back then. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 11:37 PM |
| 29 | FDS is changing how I view the beginning of my relationship with my husbandLuckily I don’t plan on ever having children, lol. Even if I did want them, though, I would certainly put that desire on hold after a realization like this. I appreciate the honesty | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/20 10:08 PM |
| 51 | Be THAT KIND of direct, lol!Proof that this is effective man repellent. Woke up and had a nice giggle with my husband because of these | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/20 03:51 PM |
| 6 | This comment thread reminded me why reddit is a terrible place for advice. This woman got cheated on and some of the comments are advising her to go to counseling before considering divorce. FDS would never.🙄That makes sense. I certainly hope she realizes she’s better uncertain on her own than certain in a shit marriage. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 05:36 PM |
| 12 | This comment thread reminded me why reddit is a terrible place for advice. This woman got cheated on and some of the comments are advising her to go to counseling before considering divorce. FDS would never.🙄I hope I never find myself in the position to know for sure, but I cannot imagine feeling anything but rage and betrayal. Why would you want to try and “save” the marriage? You’ve just seen that it was built on secrets and infidelity. None of the memories you have of your marriage are based in reality anymore, because there was a darker undercurrent that you were unaware of. I just don’t get it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/20 05:26 PM |
| 56 | Do most men even know what love is?It seems a lot of men conflate love with companionship (talking about mid range value men here, not low or no value). They enjoy being around their wife, they like that she participates in their hobbies, they think she makes a good mom, etc etc. But the statistics about men leaving when their partners fall chronically ill is proof that many don’t equate love with sacrifice. I think many men believe they love their partners, but they actually value their own comfort much more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 10:14 PM |
| 1 | Confronted my (27F) husband (34M) about his porn use today... This is how it went.Collect evidence, and make a case that he’s unfit to care for a female child. Emphasize to your lawyer that you are AFRAID for your daughters well-being if she’s spends too much time with him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 09:58 PM |
| 97 | Men are so troubled.Men accuse women of using pussy as a bargaining chip, but then treat it like what? A bargaining chip. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 08:57 PM |
| 71 | Maybe he’s trying to do her a favor by kicking himself out of her life so she can move on to better things...This reminds me so much of my dad. He would walk off without me all the time when I was a kid, or he would sharply turn, step backwards, gesture, etc. in a way that would legitimately hurt me ALL THE TIME. I was ALWAYS getting smacked in the face when he would gesture, or he would elbow me right in the breast, or stomp on my feet, or even completely knock me to the ground. He didn’t do any of it intentionally, he just literally didn’t care to check if he was invading my space with his jerky, sud… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 04:16 PM |
| 10 | Lol @ these men pretending to be women 😂 they really think we can’t tell 😭Uhhh.... I suppose everyone’s body is different... but my cervix getting hit during sex makes me see spots and feel like I’m gonna vomit. My husband (rather unfortunately) can hit it in most positions, so sex is usually centered around AVOIDING the cervix at all costs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/20 02:14 PM |
| 15 | Mic drop.It’s saying people call boys easier to raise than girls, because they actually don’t raise them as well. It requires less effort to raise a boy, because they expect his future wife to take over as a substitute parent one day. I hope that kinda explains it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/20 06:03 AM |
| 2 | Peak male depravity and porn sickness....so he called the non emergency police line, right?.. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 07:17 PM |
| 3 | People who say their partner is HV before 6 month in, and people in here supporting it?I agree. I even feel hesitant to call my husband a HVM because we’ve only been married 3 months. I refuse to ever put myself in a position to rely on him completely even though I love him very much, because I know love isn’t enough to prevent people from changing. Also, there are different types of HVM. Do I think my husband has high value? Of course, I wouldn’t have married him otherwise. But can he increase in value, better himself, and continue finding new ways to express that to me? Absolute… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/20 07:13 PM |
| 2 | I cannot believe this 🤮 ladies, men doing ANYTHING to you in your sleep without consent is assault.This is a nightmare. Whenever I hear of men without any red flags do shit like this, it’s disgusting and terrifying in its own rite. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/20 11:41 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered 4/29/2020I’m currently in a relationship with someone I believe to be an extremely HVM - he meets all of the criteria except some (not all) of the financial guidelines. Am I welcome to comment about my relationship, should it ever be applicable, considering this? I wouldn’t encourage anyone to seek out a relationship with my specific set of circumstances, just to be clear, and I fully agree with expecting a partner to be completely financially stable before entering a relationship in basically all cases … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/04/20 04:35 PM |
| 7 | Reminder: LVM say anything to get what they want.Surely this has never worked out for him before???? Sometimes the tactics are so viscerally repulsive I can’t even fathom they’d get any positive reinforcement, but then again nothing shocks me anymore haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/04/20 03:18 PM |
| 72 | The average woman has been taught from birth how to take care of 90% of men's daily needs, while men have been taught to take care of almost 0% of ours. Men claim they need less to "make them happy" because most of their needs get met by default. Women have to beg to be met halfway.Hand to jesus, online dating was the rock bottom that made me reevaluate everything about relationships. Looking at all of the pick me profiles from women and the absolute garbage from men was like a weird competition between the two to determine which could set the lowest standards for men to meet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/20 07:49 AM |
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