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odd_cloud Archive

View 6 posts and 1,681 comments by odd_cloud on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I suppose, objectification became too much of a wide term. If you read the definition of objectification, it sounds spooky like treatment of prisoners in the concentration camp. Often concepts like these become too invasive and applied where they shouldn’t be. A hypothetical example: a plumber at a gas station fumes with anger because he thinks white collar guys wage class war against him by forming a long queue at the checkout. It seems to me that when people apply sociological terms to ordinar…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 01:29 AM
1

Why is it an issue though? There are some self-reported good guys who say that being good isn’t as important as women often claim it is. You suppose that they say it because they secretly want to be abusers and mistreat women. First, I don’t agree that they say it because they are secretly wannabe abusers. Their claim “being good/nice isn’t important for attracting women” says little about their motivations. You need to apply some serious projections to conclude that from their claim. Then, even…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 11:54 PM
1

Does he? Some men say that being a good person isn’t that important to attract women. OPs point is that those men secretly want to be abusers. BTW the general point of her posts is that unsuccessful men are secretly monsters. Ku-rosh’s comment says that there are attractive men who mistreat women and unattractive guys who don’t. Isn’t it kinda the opposite?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 11:47 PM
1

I think it’s first better to group people by the situation they find themselves in: - very easy mode: attractive women - easy mode: attractive men and average women - hard mode: ugly women, average and ugly men. So, I think advice for an average guy would be the same as to an ugly woman - idk, just live life, may be you’ll meet someone interested one day. There is not much you can actively do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 06:32 PM
1

Many women would say, "Looks are not that important for men". In my opinion, being top-tier-looking benefits men much more than women. Another example - as a kid, I had an idea that guys and girls liked each other somewhat equally. I was quite disappointed in my teens when I saw that guys liked many girls, while girls were primarily interested mainly in the top guys (very handsome/rich parents/athletic/musicians, etc), and the guys who were just students like themselves didn't basically exist fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 04:20 AM
3

I'd summarise it as "we live in the 21st century, but pretend we're still in the 1960s". There are high expectations from men, but the social structure that allowed them to meet those expectations is long gone. For example, it is expected of men to provide for their household. It's unfortunately impossible now for the majority of people. On top of that, many women feel like they still work part-time jobs, so their men should bring "real" money. I know one woman with a salary of about $400k, who …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 03:57 AM
–

What’s an equal of that young woman you’d say?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:20 PM
0

I don’t know if mods would count it as a proper disagreement, but I think women misunderstand men more than men misunderstand women
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:39 PM
8

It’s like saying people shouldn’t have complained about colds before invention of paracetamol. “Why do you complain, huh? There is nothing to help you”. It doesn’t cross their minds paracetamol was developed because people complained.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:35 PM
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Do you have an idea of what that elusive it-factor may be?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 01:58 AM
16

Offtopic, but a nice framework for you: Woman: breathes Man: breathes -> entitled
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:51 PM
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The best analogy I have about adhd is dyslexia of reality. Like a dyslexic person perceives letters “jumping around”, an ADHDer perceives events, plans, people and their words “jumping around”. Have a look at “adhd simulator” video on YouTube, it’s a good illustration. It’s hard to say why some people with adhd are able to exercise regularly and others don’t. ADHD has different profiles and people have different circumstances. I mean, a person with adhd who is full time employed at a mentally de…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 12:19 PM
1

ADHD is a disorder of executive functions, not attention. Executive functions govern the mind by pointing what the intellect should think about. The person just appears inattentive, so it’s called attention disorder. So, in a person with adhd wants to do something, but his mind doesn’t quite automatically change their behavior. It works not only with short-term tasks, like listening to a lecture but also with long term goals. My friend told me that if his habit was disrupted he could forget abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:07 PM
2

Dude, your story reminds me of my good friend with adhd. Just a list of coincidences: 1- you suspect it 2- you begin something, but lose track of it once disrupted 3- not sure but it seems you didn’t do much for your back pain 4- you use cheap energy to help your mind work (carbohydrates and sugar I suppose?) 5- disrupted sleep (may be a manifestation of adhd) 6- having an addiction is super characteristic of adhd. So, my unsolicited advice is to book an adhd assessment at a clinic that speciali…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:33 PM
1

Counter-question: why would you think redpill is about family and so on? A bit of redpill history: In the beginning of 2000s there was a group of men who experienced difficulties with dating. They thought the cause of their problems was that they incorrectly interacted with the women they liked. People who tried PUA noticed that it doesn’t really work well. Redpill was a response to this and discussed that not only interaction, but also what you are matters for dating success. In a sense, it was…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 02:22 PM
7

Ok, so let’s assume that we’re talking about a guy living in a densely populated area, who went to college and works an office job or didn’t go to college and just started working. In short, very few options. He lives his life seeing many attractive women, but his interest is usually non-reciprocated. In a year, he meets 3-4 women who show some interest in him. If he tries his chance with them, most of them lose interest after 1-2 dates. Matches are rare if he’s on OLD. Most of his matches don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 01:52 PM
11

Sorry, it may sound intrusive, but you mention your obesity in every second comment here. Why wouldn’t you lose weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:36 PM
9

Would you laugh if something was cut off of a female cheater?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:43 PM
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Guess what is more probable: 1) Every man that a woman from ppd knows personally is a gigachad slayer and never had problems with attracting women. 2) Women of ppd don’t know much about dating experiences of men they know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:33 PM
1

Offtopic, but houellebeck is a very “male” author. Strongly recommended to anyone who wants to understand men better.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:37 PM
10

Why don’t people do X? Maybe it doesn’t help?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:34 PM
7

I understand that there is a problem in communication between NTs and autists. The most interesting question though is what subjective feeling is evoked in NTs by autists. I struggle to understand what the problem is for NTs, because most autistic people I met are quite interesting. They talk about their interests which may be very unusual and are generally very good hearted people. Can’t see why people may dislike them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 12:43 PM
3

My two cents. First, the major problem for men is getting some interest from a woman. Most men fail at the initial stage before they can demonstrate any parental qualities. Second, depends on the age. If women were really interested mainly in father qualities, a quiet kid who is going to become an accountant would be the most popular guy in high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:58 AM
28

Here we go again. It’s so similar to the take “why are you arguing online, women won’t have sex with you because of it”. Why do people discuss things? People like to think about certain things and talk about them with others. How do you even come up with this idea? Do you think people talk about things to convince others to give them something? Do you suppose that a person who’s frustrated with something is a one dimensional creature who’s worried only about getting that thing? If I were you I’d…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:47 AM
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Ty ty
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 01:32 PM
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Ouch. Do you have any sources online or did you hear that advice from your friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 12:03 PM
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Hm, never heard lesbians’ advice. What do they tell?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 10:53 AM
3

Meh, i wonder if you have ever tried to understand men’s perspective. Attracting a woman in this context means literally attracting, getting some interest from her. It is the problem most men have. As for LMS, yep it works. Although, the amount of effort to achieve attractive levels is quite high.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 10:49 AM
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It’s fine, it means less immediate “no”. You’re already ahead.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 05:20 PM
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Yes, if you follow the two fundamental rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:57 PM
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From time to time I see an insightful idea on this sub. I have never thought about problems of inexperienced people from that point of view. I supposed, people don’t like inexperienced people because of status. But it makes sense you’d be cautious of marrying someone who has a teenager perception of relationships if you’re, say, 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:56 PM
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Good observation, to the golden hall of ppd comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:51 PM
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Dude, just write “I just like to punch down”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:48 PM
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Legitimately dude, you live in some kind of a parallel universe to me. Just to explain to you why I have that impression: if someone complains about something, I try to understand their situation and offer some insight/new information/practical help. Sometimes I conclude their problems are not problems. So, you are here on the moral high horse calling people losers, entitled, assuming some dirty motivations on their side. “Whiners bad”. I can’t really relate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:12 PM
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Started writing a response to this, but then stopped. You double down on what op describes, and basically stating “you complain, you bad”. I wonder if people like you are open to any arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 12:49 PM
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Don’t you think you can compare problems of people who are in similar circumstances? Say, I’m a student in school, and my biggest problem is that I got an A- once. My classmate’s problem is that he gets robbed by bullies every second day. Can I say that his problems with school are worse than mine?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 02:38 AM
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I don’t think you believe that yourself. Problems are pretty much comparable, depending on circumstances. Like would you say that a rich person selecting between a Ferrari and Lamborghini has a problem if he subjectively considers it the problem of his life? Or would you consider that I have a problem because I have a difficulty to select between Burger King and McDonalds?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 02:27 AM
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Depends on how you want to see that. I think, other problems are so insignificant compared to having no options that they can barely count as problems. No, relationship and dating problems are two different sets.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 01:49 AM
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What are her problems? Is there anything comparable to not being in the game?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 01:24 AM
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A woman with average looks can’t have problems in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 01:05 AM
1

It will be interesting to see how it play out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:21 PM
3

Women have all the choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:20 PM
1

You point was that men put less effort into a long term relationships than initially. It seems it’s wrong. Now you say there are some “shoulds” a man should learn in order to not be labeled as lazy. Now, your point seems to be that men put less effort into relationships comparatively to women. Do women really put in more effort as relationships progresses? What effort do they put into satisfying men’s needs and wants that is not matched by men’s effort?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:29 PM
2

Yep, “if a man has needs, feelings or difficulties, he’s broken” in short.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:20 PM
0

So, wouldn’t you like a guide on how to talk in-person if one existed?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:18 PM
4

Rarely, usually I read about things that interest me and take my decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:17 PM
4

Don’t you think a little guide on how to talk to women would be handy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:31 AM
4

This explanation about observing successful guys has an interesting part. Whom did other successful guys observe? Other successful guys? Then who’s the first successful guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:30 AM
2

Hm, how being honest results into not needing a guide? I just can’t see the “mechanic” connection. Say, I’m changing positions of power outlets at home. How being honest would help me with skills required for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:24 AM
4

People for whom replication of others’ actions doesn’t work, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:21 AM
5

That led me to inventing some kind of my own theories before I read rp.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:10 AM
4

The easy way I’d say .
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:08 AM
–

Dudes who have active and interesting dating life match those sky high standards. An average guy can get some attention from time to time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:51 AM
2

It’s not personal, it’s because your complaint about children weakly supports your claim that men put less effort into the relationship as it progresses. Do you really think your guy does less in total for you than he did initially? In my experience it’s not that true. As an illustration, when I met my ex, I could have a weekend sex binge with her after a coffee date and a talk. She left me after we moved in when I started my first serious job and spent a lot of time to make our place better. Be…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:25 PM
7

Seems like you have a problem with relationships between your guy and children and extrapolate it to “men don’t try in long term relationships”. It is very vaguely connected to your point your point that men put less effort compared to initial stages. Simply not true. When I was in the initial stage with my ex, we could have a coffee and then spend a weekend in one room enjoying each other. As relationships progressed and I did much more than coffee dates, one-room weekends stopped as well as ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 03:07 AM
4

The opposite is true as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 02:45 AM
1

Sorry, thought it was a discussion flair.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:22 AM
2

Depends on how you conceptualize it. So, your view is that women acted as basically mothers to their husbands, and solved all their problems, but now they’re free and (over-)enjoy new freedoms. Correct? You can also say that women were in a role of children taken care of by their husbands. I don’t say it was fair or voluntary, but you can conceptualize it that way. Following that logic, they got their freedoms, but continue to look for a parent figure. For example, in the past they earned “pocke…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:19 AM
2

This is how partnership works. One person helps if another needs help with achieving goals or faces a problem. If one person helps another, but must deal with his own problems, it doesn’t sound like a partnership. Sounds like a parent-child relationships though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 09:11 PM
8

Yep, and outside of that: - woman disappointed -> support her emotionally - man disappointed -> she’s not a therapist woman lost job -> man covers expenses man lost job -> gtfo woman depressed -> support her man depressed -> go get fixed or gtfo woman wants more sex -> man, go get checked and get fixed men wants more sex -> man, go get fixed and don’t annoy her
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:44 PM
4

Probably, idk. In soviet russia cars drive you. I know it’s opposite of common stereotype. But in my experience, guys do chores, spend time with children. A psychologist who has a clinical practice tells the same. I don’t know a single couple where the husband / bf comes home and lays on his sofa.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:40 PM
9

Idk man, sometimes I think women view men as supermen. Like, they think men have no feelings despite lust, can’t feel pain, can fight three robbers at once, walk into a company and get the ceo position, walk into a university and get a phd next week. Also, train two minutes a day and look shredded.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:58 PM
3

I ensure you, if women had no additional requirements, and you could just ask like you can ask what time it is or for a spare cigarette, men would do that. But if you ask here, a man shouldn’t mention even the appearance of a woman when he approaches. Women don’t like if you approach bluntly, so men who are not naturally gifted in that ritual, go to pua and red pill to find out how they should behave to suggest sex in a way women like.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:55 PM
0

I think, the trope about lazy husbands and overworked wives is quite outdated. Well, may be it is true in remote areas of Iowa or whatever your most backward state is. I listen to dr psych mom - she’s a female family psychologist. She has in her practice it’s very rare that men do nothing at home. There are even men who do everything at home. Now the main part of my response. In my experience, women see support from their men as something natural. When a man needs support, women say he wants his…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 05:11 PM
11

I noticed many women talk about feeling like a mother when the man cannot match father-like expectations. When a man supports a woman in achieving her goals or dealing with her problems, it’s natural. But often when men need support from their partners, women say that they feel like his mother. An illustration for you. A woman falls ill, her partner makes an appointment for her with a doctor. A man falls ill - “you healthy yet? Talk to me when you healthy”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:45 PM
17

Nah, men are unhappy because currently dating and a large part of relationships are concentrated on making the woman happy. At the same time women are not that concerned about needs and wants of their partners or potential partners. I guess men were sold the idea of partnership and are disappointed it’s not what they are expected to do. I think an ideal partner for women is someone who takes care of their both lives in general, and also takes half of some tasks. It’s something more of a father r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:11 PM
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On point. Modern dating and a big part of relationships is about the man trying to make the woman happy. While women think little about men’s needs. I get why some men feel the game difficulty is too high. What seems interesting to me is the deafness to men’s dissatisfactions. It’s like “yeah, so what?” When I read about common women’s dissatisfactions in relationships, I make a mental note and check whether I unknowingly do or don’t do something that may make my partner or potential partner unh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:57 PM
1

Could you specify how do you imagine it practically? Imagine, I’m a guy who’d like to have a hookup. Do I approach you and say “Hey, I thought it would be nice if we have sex in a hotel room nearby. What do you think about it?” Well, it would be nice if it was acceptable and worked. But casual sex doesn’t happen like that. The whole point behind pua and rp is that you learn to do what women like before casual sex. The whole date experience before a ONS is a requirement from women. I’m interested…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:30 PM
1

Solid suggestions. I guess a crowd of internet randos would design better studies than university psychologists. Their papers are often like “we asked 30 students if they like weed”. As for social interactions where someone attempted to pick you up, I’d add a category of “…when you wanted to be picked up”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 05:10 PM
2

Not all, but it’s not such an extremely rare experience. You all are like women go to church and wait to be proposed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 04:42 PM
2

Sorry, but I don’t see where the two lines of your story cross. It seems like you made you post kind of a question to men. I don’t really understand what response you’d expect. For example, my life primarily consists of going to work, involving in hobbies, dealing with daily stuff like laundry, and meeting friends from time to time. I had periods of romantic loneliness in my life. I’m not a homeless guy who talks to dogs, I don’t scream at ladies about poo. I honestly can’t tell what I could say…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:04 PM
3

That would be an interesting idea of accessing social well being.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 02:33 PM
5

The thing you describe is a part of red pill, at least for me. That’s how I see 80/20. 80% of men can find relationships by luck. If he spends enough time in a group with women, a woman may develop feelings towards him. The sweet things like hookups, flings, approaches out of the blue are reserved for attractive guys. It’s interesting I noticed how a good share of single women I know look for love and committed relationships, but would tell how they pick up tall guys in the clubs or had a threes…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 11:31 AM
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Or they actually evaluate their chances fairly. I mean, if you’re unattractive to most women, an easy shortcut is to suppose you’re unattractive to all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 12:25 PM
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I think, our dialogue is a good example of what I’m talking about. You mentioned several “shoulds” of a guy’s behavior on a date. A young guy typically has little idea of those “shoulds”. It’s also difficult to find the right degree. I mean all these recommendations like “show interest but not right away” or “we should have attraction and good conversations”. That’s what I was talking about when I said “guys need to behave like women like, but they typically don’t know what women like”. The reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 11:30 AM
2

What kinds?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:40 AM
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It’s time to celebrate, it’s one of few sensible dialogues I had in this place. I can relate to the things you describe, and can explain why they happen. If you’re interested of course. For example, you told that they were treating you like a separate species and that they treated you like a cousin. Don’t you see it contradictory? It is simply because those guys dutifully performed recommendation to “treat women like a person and don’t objectify her”. I’d agree that molding yourself to the expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:24 AM
2

You could send a random set of letters with the same effect. I did not ask you to make my love life easier. LoLolOL Why do you all even come to this place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 03:34 AM
–

Can we get a golden hall of comments? I'd place your comment right there. It's refreshing to hear from a woman that the problem is that many guys have no idea what they are doing. The thing is, most men are not naturally talented at talking to women. Those who are not talented have no place to learn about it. Could you specify why you think the problem is that these men are detached from their sexuality? From my point of view, the problem of a young guy is that he is expected to competently and …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:33 AM
5

You sound like you think that the only time a man successfully approaches is when he knows about the woman's hobbies, profession, relationship status, politics, and the rest you listed. Like an approach in a nightclub or a holiday fling at a resort never happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:10 AM
4

Catch-22: You approach - bohoo, you're entitled You don't approach - bohoo, women aren't going to fall into your lap
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:06 AM
1

Just life. Didn't get to the industry that pays a lot, some emergencies here and there, so I wasn’t able to build that bank of extra money for the surgeries. As time passed, it became too late.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:33 PM
3

In short, men are different from women and find themselves in different circumstances, so their behavior is different. Men like many women, women like few men. A man simply swiping right on the women he likes may seem to you as indiscriminate swiping on everyone. When you swipe on someone or approach them, you both choose and are chosen. I’d say men are more concerned with the being chosen side of that equation simply because women are picky. If you’re being chosen, it makes sense to advertise y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 01:31 PM
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But isn’t it that difficult to transfer your feelings from one situation to another? I mean it may be difficult to imagine that someone has problems with dating, but most likely every person had persistent problems with something.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:25 PM
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I’ve done it am doing some of those things. On the second thought, all of them. I’m not sure why I, but I can empathise with those men. May be, I put lots of effort and thinking into changing my life, so I see how difficult it may be. May be, I see people outside of my bubble more and understand the that things considered “great” by some are not that great in comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:03 PM
3

/thread
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:58 PM
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If I’m not mistaken 3-4 gap is quite normal, so nothing would change that much. I remember, when I was 16, many girls from my class had boyfriends who were 17 or 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:54 PM
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Well, I’ve done or am doing most of these things, but somehow I’m able to empathise with those men. May be it took me quite a huge effort to change my life, so I understand how difficult it may be.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:52 PM
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Sometimes it sounds enticingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:49 PM
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What sound so bad about it? Being 40% older in childhood is a big advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:46 PM
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Mmm, to be honest, that psychological talk doesn’t make much sense to me as a man. I’m not that concerned about my identity and purpose. You know, people often say that men want a lot of sexual partners because it increases their self-evaluation as a man. Speaking of my own experience, I don’t feel any “manly men” points from having lots of sexual partners. I just reached puberty and started wanting many sexual partners. Because it’s fun, I don’t keep records of my masculine tokens. You’re corre…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:44 PM
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Mhm, you read the mind of everyone else. When I studied in the uni, there was so much stuff “for women” that I had a thought from time to time that they seemingly wanted no men in that sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:32 PM
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I think there is some truth to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:28 PM
–

So? Things he says seem quite reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:27 PM
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A couple of thoughts. I’d say that talking to women in a romantic/sexual setting is a separate social skill that’s not that much connected to social skills in general. Then, you have to make the first step as a man, so no surprise men are preoccupied with figuring out what women want. Finally, women are picky, so it’s better to know more so that you don’t fuck up the chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:24 PM
1

I wanted to have surgeries on my face but life circumstances happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:16 PM
–

Listened to a podcast with a guy who studies issues of boys and men. More specifically, he leads a think tank on the issue. They discussed the issue of men that check out of life. It reminded me of one idea I heard about messaging about harassment and meetoo movement. The idea was that while pushing this talk, society had a wrong mental image of young men. The image of a young man was that he was pushy and annoying with his interest in women. In reality, young men were quite prosocial, and didn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:13 PM
1

Speaking of adult business, there is of course a degree of desire for the hotter. But there is also an element of desperation. Imagine a woman paying to see some naked guys. She must have really nothing going on in her personal life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:38 PM
1

Usually personality is a part of attraction to crushes. It seems like you want to describe any unreciprocated feeling from a man as negative and incorrect. So you don’t really see the point of my comment. You see it like “an evil ugly man wants to get into the pants of a woman and expecting her to overlook his ugliness”. I am talking about a different thing that you probably don’t notice. Many men grow up hearing that women want good men, that they want to be treated as people, that women want m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:42 PM
51

How about everyone agrees women’s standards are high and that’s it? That already would be a change. Some unattractive guys would calmly quit dating because it would be well known that women don’t like a significant share of men. The “all good men are gone” talk would turn into “I don’t like the majority of men”. Guys would grow up understanding that being undesirable is a possibility, so they won’t be like “everyone told me women want good men, but my crush slept with that asshole”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 11:51 PM
34

Dude that’s a weird take.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 11:01 PM
1

I think, social status is being valued in your group or environment. In school it’s being good in sports and being generally popular. In uni, the same plus organising parties or leading some sort of a club. In friends group, being the leader of that group. At work, being a boss or a good specialist. They discussed the phenomenon of women falling in love over time. There are many stories like “I didn’t notice my husband or bf initially, but then we spent three months in a team/department/class an…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:12 PM
3

I think everyone is familiar with a dialogue that often happens here about creepiness. Women would say that creepy guys just break social conventions and don’t respect boundaries. Men would say that an unattractive guy hitting on a woman is creepy. I listened to a podcast about flirting that helped me to explain this contradiction. The podcasters said that in order to start flirting, you have to have some social status first. So, attractive guys have that social status because of looks so they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:41 PM
5

I listened to a podcast about flirting recently. They said that to start flirting you have to have some social status. It explains this dichotomy when women say that creepy means only breaking social rules, while men say that creepy means that an unattractive guy hits on a woman. They said that a model looking guy can start flirting with explicit phrases, but uglier men break social conventions by doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:35 PM
3

I’d add that women have more agency in general, not only on apps. My circle is now married couples mainly. When I studied in uni and was beginning my career in a large city, the difference between men and women was quite noticeable. Women generally had hookups or holiday flings, some had group sex. An experience of a typical guy was having several first dates a year. At the same time, there always were 2-3 guys who had no problem bringing a girl home from a bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 03:53 PM
2

I cannot say for sure, because I’d need to see tinder data. But I’m inclined to believe it’s a common experience for guys because my experiences combine well with some statistics. I see personally that guys generally don’t have much luck on apps. Also, almost every environment I’ve been in (like school or job) has two-three guys that sleep around, and the majority of the guys go on a date from time to time. Then there is this graph from the book dataclysm. https://images.app.goo.gl/iNrzR5GYu5dJR…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 02:29 PM
15

I never used apps myself, they weren’t popular when I actively tried to date. What I hear from younger guys and see on Reddit is that guys typically get no matches. Imagine you go on tinder and blindly swipe right 100 profiles, then you get like 1 match a week. What would think would happen if you start to be selective and swipe right 2 profiles? You’d go from practically no matches to literally no matches. Also, dating apps really illustrate what would happen in real life if there was less unce…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 01:17 PM
1

I’m not but I when I was young I had troubles with attracting girls. I thought that dating game was too difficult or that I was too stupid to comprehend it. I think it was more of former because most guys found it difficult too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 06:14 PM
7

A psychologist who studies relationships told that female therapists report that they have troubles empathising with guys who are unsuccessful in dating. I thought, is there really some kind of a psychological barrier in women that prevents them from understanding what a man feels when he fails in dating? Like, is it real that women can’t see why an unsuccessful guy may be unhappy? I noticed that on ppd too and other dating subs. Do women really think that an unsuccessful guy would be like, “not…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 01:13 AM
3

Here’s my masterfully crafted theory. To get into a relationship you need two skills: of presenting yourself and of actually being a good partner. For women presenting themselves finishes up at home when they choose clothes and make up. Presenting for men is more complicated because it is about how he talks to and behaves around women. If your presentation is done by default, you just don’t see how anyone can have a problem with it. They don’t see it’s a fucking skill, because they see “normal” …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 01:33 PM
3

I think you confuse talking to women and talking to women. Most men are able to literally talk to women as coworkers, classmates and so on. At the same time most men have a trouble talking to women as a romantic or sexual interest. I noticed a weird distinction women have on ppd between an approach and a talk. Many women seem to think that an approach is talking to a stranger on the street while approach at a bar or uni is some kind of a talk to a non-stranger. Well, idk how women view the world…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:43 AM
2

I highly doubt he’s secretly caring and supportive person. No but she could find someone who doesn’t treat her like trash, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 09:23 PM
3

Mostly, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:18 PM
4

Okay, let me give you an example. She wrote that men feel entitled because they see sex as a reward for good behavior. I wonder why women select guys of questionable character too. Let’s see how much entitlement there is in my thoughts. So, women in general say they like kind, respectful, and supportive guys (or something along these lines). Then you see many examples that contradict this narrative. Just to give you an example, otherwise you’d respond that I see any guy with a girlfriend as an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 07:23 PM
-1

Hm, I think you come with a prejudice of seeing the unpopular males as some kind of monsters and assume the worst possible explanations for things they write. With that approach anything may be perceived as some kind of evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 04:02 PM
–

Women are strongly attracted to their partner in the honeymoon stage. Many partnered guys I know are not greatly satisfied with their sex frequency. It’s a discouraging situation, because their input into relationships increases over time. Somehow people don’t like to admit women have desire for novelty that may be stronger than that of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 11:28 AM
9

It’s interesting how women’s interest in relationships-oriented guys contradicts their interest in guys who are good with women. IMO, those two are difficult to combine. If you’re a relationship oriented guy, you won’t have the skills of a player because you don’t hit on many girls and don’t have opportunities to develop your skills. Also, I can’t fully comprehend the complain about entitled men who feel owed sex. Aren’t men who actually approach women more entitled than those who write somethin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 12:13 AM
–

Doesn’t it it work if you assume there was no relationships before the guy suggests it? Like, they were casually seeing each other. Yeah, there is no perfect analogy because there is nothing that women want from men, but struggle to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 03:41 PM
–

In a similar manner, men aren’t interested in women with promiscuous past.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 02:45 PM
–

Yep, it’s difficult to gender swap. Probably, the best analogy I heard is that a guy was very committed to his previous partners, but he says you’re so special he’ll have an open (for him) relationships with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 02:32 PM
0

If I ask you what personality women like, then I am unsure if I “naturally” learned the right thing or question if the common opinion of that is not correct. When you say “I date men with good personality” and good means “good for dating”, you say “I date men with a personality that is good for dating”. In this case the informative answer is “I dunno”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:10 PM
1

Btw, yes. Good mean “I feel good around that person”. So, “I like good personality” means “I like the personality I like”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:01 PM
1

Hm, makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 11:46 AM
-2

Yeah, yeah. 20 in this context means 40. Actually interesting why women are indirect about what they like in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:14 AM
2

You don’t really try to see it from the male pov, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:09 AM
2

I guess the problem in this debate is the term “good personality”. Good means good. If you’re talking about charismatic or fun or magnetic or dominant personality, use that word and not “good”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 09:49 AM
3

My two cents on the need debate. There are needs and needs. Physical needs are necessary for survival. Unmet psychological needs make you unhappy. Can you survive with no interaction with other people? Yes, but it you’ll most likely feel unhappy. You can survive without respect or with a meaningless job, but it would make you unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 09:46 AM
17

I heard that the leading causes of men unaliving themselves are problems with money and problems with women. There is an important distinction between men and women. Women have sex when they want to. So no surprise they don’t consider it something important. Like I don’t consider it an important problem to be able to buy a cup of coffee. A man has to be “worthy” to have sex. If you’re not getting any, it is an indication that you’re not worthy. You may not have enough money, or say wrong things,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 08:53 AM
4

Right, that’s what they usually say. But they don’t give an explanation of how exactly this supposedly works. Agreed. Sometimes I wonder if common ideas about dating are upside down. It seems to me that women are more concerned about partners appearance and have higher demands and are more picky in looks. At the same time it seems like for men almost any type of women works, and their decision to become a couple depends more on the personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 06:15 PM
4

I struggle to get what “really likes is” and how it is demonstrated by the man approaching. Something doesn’t just click with that explanation. Are men that approach “really interested”? Are men that don’t approach “unreality interested”? Decision to approach doesn’t only (or even mainly?) depend on how strongly the guy likes the girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 05:17 PM
16

Okay. Women like a little proportion of men. Data on right swipes on old support this, and many women say they consider very few men attractive. Men are more open and consider a large proportion of women attractive (like 30-70%). It makes sense for women to approach, because men would get less rejections and women would get less unwanted attention. Women want no unwanted attention and men to approach, which is contradictory. Have a look at this analogy. Imagine that instead of you going to a sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:10 PM
2

¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:11 AM
4

Game or luck. Some men seem to know how to say all the right things at the right time. Sometimes people just get lucky. Even if you have very low skills of talking to women, your personality clicks with the woman’s and relationships happen for apparently no reason. That’s how all my relationships happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 10:51 AM
2

A couple of disjointed thoughts about it. Of course men would like treatment chad gets. You phrased it as “men imagine chad gets”. I cannot agree with you that men imagine it. Just some stories from my experience. My classmate from uni picked up two girls on the street while we were going to a bar. Lucky guy btw, his roommates told me he was bringing a new girl home once a week / two weeks. One of guys at my friend’s job was famous for sleeping with all the female interns. A girl I know went to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:12 AM
2

I guess all of the points from your list play some role. Status plays a big role. I suppose there are dudes who look like ed Sheeran, but they’re less popular. If you’re more focused on behavioral characteristics, game is the most important I think. I suppose successful guys understand women better (not similar to listen to women), and somehow know what to say and when, and feel when it’s time to escalate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 07:42 PM
5

Women here say that approaching is the easiest thing to do. Men usually think it’s difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:35 AM
0

Generally, to find a good partner. While seeking, it would be nice to experience different sexual and romantic experiences. What do men want in a woman? sexually attractive: healthy weight and idk normal appearance and above (it’s difficult to specify, but I’d say 70-80% of women pass) sex drive personality: hard to specify, sometimes you just click tolerable mental health: no all-consuming problems supportive, able to talk through disagreements
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:28 AM
1

Thank you for paying attention to this. Most women would say it’s okay. I think, the normalization came from the idea of patriarchy. Professors of social sciences developed an idea that men have been running a conspiracy to oppress women and that modern society is organised in the same way. So, punching a man is no different from opposing an evil oppressor. They didn’t pay attention to some things like realities of life in the past (people literally believed god told them what to do) or history …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:19 AM
–

I think it’s the most probable answer. She’s into the guy -> approaching is ok, she’s not -> don’t even look at me. I remember a poll of students was posted here and like 50% of women say it’s offensive if a man they don’t like approaches them. I guess it creates the problem with approaching. As a guy you know you shouldn’t approach if the woman doesn’t like you. But you never know in advance. At the same time, women are very picky, so you have to be an ideal guy to have somewhat good response r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:28 PM
–

Anxiety is the most probable answer. I’ve met very few young men who’d prefer doing something else instead of talking to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:59 PM
–

Not so much purity culture as uncertainty and contradictory ideas around approaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:56 PM
–

Well, I can relate quite a lot to these ideas, although these feelings are not that pronounced in me. I can come up with a complex explanation of why it happens, but in short there is a lot of uncertainty and contradictory takes from women, so it’s quite difficult to figure out whether you should approach that girl and how to properly do it. The majority of guys I know have a problem with approaching. The only guys I knew who approached freely were a full package- model looks, money, tall, jacke…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:37 PM
–

Concern about false accusations is similar to fear of a sexual assault for women. Chances are low, while potential damage is very high. The main concern is about making the woman uncomfortable though. Men are people and the majority of us don’t want to make others uncomfortable. You know, talking to people in general or literally just talking to women about something is not usually a problem. Being hesitant to approach a woman with romantic interest is, on the other hand, a very common problem t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 12:59 PM
–

Neuroticism and and anxiety are related to ungrounded non-realistic worries. It’s similar to OCD - if a person washes his hands 12 times a day, it is not very normal. Approach anxiety is not really comparable, because, yeah, you may get negative consequences for approaching and the thing is constantly discussed here and there. If there were some, even slight, consequences for not washing hands 12 times a day and if it was discussed, we’d see more “normal” people washing their hands 12 times a da…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 11:31 AM
–

It works in theory. In fact, unattractive men do live by a different set of rules. When I was young I approached somewhat like 40ish times, and then stopped. I think we’d do some service to young men if we told to male teenagers “if you’re ugly don’t try”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:27 AM
1

Ah, I see. I meant having sex (not finding a partner) is not a rocket science. Money comes from rocket science or breaking your back building rockets for scientists. For men finding a partner is difficult. Money is difficult for everyone on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:25 PM
1

Wdym? For you personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:03 PM
4

It’s sad indeed. But if you break down the fear of rejection, you may be able to see it’s somewhat reasonable. I think, fear of rejection comes from these sources: - Feeling not enough. There is always uncertainty if the woman won’t like you because of height, income, or appearance. The safest option is to be 6’6” model-looking billionaire. If you’re not, the thought of being not enough is always on the back of your mind. - Not knowing how to approach. IMO, a small number of people are naturally…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 02:27 PM
6

Women have the expectation that men must naturally be able to approach gracefully. It’s illustrated well by the discussion around first messages in online dating. Women complain about “hey” as a first message but send “hey” themselves as a first message. If women didn’t understood that men are humans similar to them and don’t have approaching superpowers, that would help the whole situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:59 PM
5

Just curious, don’t you find it weird it’s not a norm that women initiate? If women approached, there would be less rejections for men and less unwanted attention for women, wouldn’t it? Given that women typically like 2-5% of men, and men are more open, it would be more convenient if women approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:51 PM
15

The sort of comments like “approach, don’t be afraid” suppose that guys are just irrationally afraid of approaching. I bet every guy who avoids approaching has more specific reasons than a simple irrational fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:47 PM
3

If a desperate shallow and horny (DSH) guy understands comments on appearance don’t work, he’ll start a conversation about something else. I guess it’s currently common knowledge that a guy shouldn’t start with comments on appearance. So it seems “no comments on appearance” is not a protection from DSH guys, but rather a stylistic choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:44 PM
2

Women like men who earn money. Why do men give hard-earned money for easy thing? Hmmm, it’s difficult to say why.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 11:26 PM
8

Sex easy, money hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:05 PM
5

What power?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:05 PM
105

Men don’t approach because: - they are afraid of looking like creeps. - they don’t really know how to approach - they don’t feel themselves attractive enough
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:38 AM
–

If guys grow up with understanding that women don’t care that much about looks, then there is messaging of that to guys. When I grew up, that messaging was quite strong. What’s your point, is it that men don’t try? I wouldn’t compare men and women, because they are in completely different situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:56 PM
–

I like how your thoughts go. See, people discuss dating lore, figure out dating builds, and some of them post fan art (delusional posts about sex bots and civilisation collapse). Also, some post balance complaints.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:53 AM
–

People like to talk about things. There are subreddits about computer games. Why do people write here, do they want to change the game or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:47 AM
–

Because other factors may prevent someone from getting opportunities. Also, dating skills are separate kind of social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:45 AM
–

If you ask a man what he looks for in a woman, he’ll mention physical attractiveness. Women will mention anything except for the looks. Idk why women have this “it’s implied, hehe stupid” take. Also, the thing is that standards for being attractive are higher for men imo. It took me a while to realize that “an attractive man” is really a Brad Pitt grade of attractive while an “attractive woman” is your neighbour who’s not fat. It’s a bit surprising women don’t mention looks among the qualities t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:33 AM
–

Partly it happens because men explicitly say they look for a physically attractive women. Women usually say “it’s implied, hehe, you stupid”. Idk what the reason is but noticed it online and irl. May be women by default have an attractive guy nearby who’s into them, so it’s not that important to mention. Speaking of frustration, I guess the thing is women consider top-tier guys attractive. When I studied in the uni, I saw that the guys who could reliably approach girls were tall, handsome, jacke…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:20 AM
1

Anger specifically? I guess there is a number of guys who are misogynistic for no reason. It’s like having a mental illness. Some become angry because they get no attention from women. But I’d say getting no romantic and sexual attention is the reason for discontent rather than anger.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 12:15 AM
–

How’d I say… In high school and the first year of college, I never asked anyone out, because I never felt someone was interested. Then I read a little bit about dating, found out that many guys don’t see signs of interest from women, and decided to start approaching girls. Got rejected somewhat like 40 times and decided, okay seems it’s not for me. Stopped approaching after that. Had three LTRs that originated from being classmates/coworkers. I didn’t approach or had initial dates with those wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 12:09 AM
3

Huh, the objections to your point were the examples of your point. “Uuugh, but you’re a bad person, aren’t you?”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 11:53 PM
1

Many rejections, some of them rude. Nothing really dramatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 01:20 AM
5

Can you tell her opinion on why male thirstiness makes dating for them terrible?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:11 PM
–

I noticed that often women have a weak understanding of dating from male point of view. Women I talked to about it often thought that men just sleep around a lot and then meet a woman whom they really-really like and marry her. I know guys who have this lifestyle, but they are quite a rarity. In an any group I’ve been a part of (school/uni/work) there is one, may be two guys like that. Most men I know just live their life without actively pursuing women. Sometimes they meet someone who likes the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:12 PM
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I think, it’s because rp doesn’t give a lot of practical advice. Descriptive ideas like 80/20 are fine. But there are not a lot of things one can implement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 01:54 AM
4

I saw this too, and I saw more civilised companies. In one company departments may be at war, while in another they may openly discuss their disagreements.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:20 PM
5

Trading and investment banking is quite funny bubble. There are less Darwinistic organisations and professions even in the financial sector.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 06:57 PM
–

I was talking about since 70s too. There is a difference between tried and did.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:14 AM
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No you. Imo, women’s perception of men is biased. You gals look at the top men, and generalize from there. It’s like I’d say “Women don’t really work, they just get photographed for clothes brands and get tons of cash”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:12 AM
–

Didn’t know men have been getting hot matches. On a serious note, the only guys I’ve seen sleeping around were handsome guys from rich families. So, imo it’s not fair to say “men” do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:08 AM
–

Didn’t know men in general have been doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 11:54 PM
5

What makes you think the guy in question cannot crawl?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 02:16 AM
–

Am I the only one who sees an interesting post, decides to reply later, and later finds the post gone?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 12:01 AM
9

I noticed, boys are often left to figure out problems on their own. Bullied at school? Deal with it. No money when you’re in college? Go and earn them as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 03:01 PM
14

I can see the only way to combine the recommendation to approach and not approach at the same time. I guess women want men to approach, but only those men they want, only when they want, and only in the manner they want. Also, women are different and have different understanding of appropriate approaching. It’s a very weird position. If I wanted only specific persons from a group of people to talk to me when I want and how I want, I’d speak to them myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:44 AM
5

Depends on the industry. In many industries sales resemble arranged marriages more than approaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:24 AM
73

If you made any social interaction as confusing as approaching, people would stop doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 11:39 PM
19

When discussing why men don’t approach, people often start with fear of approaching. It seems strange people don’t consider guys don’t know how to approach. I guess, a large portion of those guys would say they don’t really know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 11:33 PM
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Seems like that. But it can be said in many ways, like “it’s cause you’re literally satan”. Why do people want to emphasise entitlement? Is it because people believe all bad men don’t get women, so this guy must be bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:41 AM
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I’m, not necessarily. I’ve met some women whom I like a lot, and it’s difficult to say really why I liked them. It’s just you like to be around that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:38 AM
–

I’m not really sure what you want to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:36 AM
–

Why are people in the comments often so negative about guys who vent about their lack of dating success? Seems like a lot of people feel they must put down a guy who’s not successful. I can’t imagine people would be so negative about a post from a woman who cannot get a date. With posts from men it is always about people writing sorts of “There is definitely something wrong about you, fucker.”.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:33 AM
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Comments like “no one owes you attention” and “you’re entitled” often puzzle me. Usually they are under a post or comment is from a guy who’s frustrated with dating. I just can’t get the point of those comments. A dude says he does X to achieve his goal Y, but it doesn’t work. What’s wrong about it? If my friend told me he studied a lot but couldn’t get good grades, I’d discuss it with him. Is it some kind of American thing to turn everything into discussions about rights?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:28 AM
–

Every piece of dating advice for men can be interpreted negatively.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 12:56 AM
–

Men’s standards are more romantic because it’s liking a woman for who she is. Women’s standards are just pragmatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 12:54 AM
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I just read another post in which a guy complains about having little romantic success. He stated he’s earning good money, is in shape, and he supposes he’s not that ugly. Of course, he got a ton of “your salary or height doesn’t mean you’re entitled to attention”. I’m just interested what makes people to put down a guy who asks about his problems with attracting women? If a guy says he has no luck, he’s given advice like “go shower”. If he then says he showered and it doesn’t seem to help, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:19 PM
–

When I hear the recommendation “talk to women like to regular people”, I think there are not many “regular people” in our life. There are friends, bosses, colleagues, baristas, policemen, bureaucrats, family, and other categories of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 06:18 PM
1

Speaking about boys falling behind, I’d say we need to support boys more. I was one of the best student in my school, but no one really did anything for me. I think boys are disproportionately expected to figure everything on their own. I’ve seen a lot of times that parents and schools invest a lot in girls. It seems they believe that poor girls are going to be discriminated against so it’s better to prepare them as well as possible. At the same time, boys often are met with “you doctor yet?” at…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 09:22 PM
0

Well not really. Top 20 doesn’t sound like ultra-billionaire. Every fifth person is not billionaire. Then, there is the question of dating life quality. If you’re in top 20, then it’s good. If you’re not, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be forever alone, just means your dating life would be quite poor. Your understanding of rp is very black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 01:04 AM
0

Ok, I just don’t see where you contradict rp.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:32 AM
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Command and conquer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:42 PM
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Correct. Well, I’m not in the best mood today, so you may find her takes more balanced.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:12 PM
1

Well, probably I’ve been in a bubble of educated professionals, but I think there are much more overall decent guys with the lack of sociosexual skills than non-socialised types. When I was in high school, I participated in different stuff, but had no idea how to get a gf.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:07 PM
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Yeah, seen him. As for me, he’s too much tense. I mean, he sounds like a crime news reporter. Most good relationships I’ve seen are more relaxed than what he says.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:03 PM
1

My response could be more nuanced than that, but it’s “yes, but no”. While I think there is a share of romantically unsuccessful guys who are poorly socialised (a neckbeard from the basement), mainly guys have difficulties because of lack of specific romantic communication skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:49 PM
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I didn’t say anything about hearing something and getting married. Personality is one thing, wealth is another, education is yet another. I don’t know how speculation about hearing and marrying fit here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:37 PM
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Holy… they must write it in brainfuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:34 PM
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All those are very good possible explanations. My respects.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:29 PM
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She’s not insanely prescriptive. She gave somewhat general recommendations, that are quite sensible. But often when I hear “do that”, “do this”, “don’t do that”, I have a feeling like “okay, if there are so many requirements, why wouldn’t just do it yourself”. I know it’s quite an immature reaction, but I can’t help. When I listen to such recommendations I think Linux from scratch is easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:20 PM
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Why do you think UMC guys with poor social skills influence her impression? Hmmm, may be. If I were that kind of coach, I wouldn’t worry about that kind of perception tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:15 PM
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Hmmm, because word personality has a definition? Like, it’s a sum of behavioral, cognitive, and emotional patterns. They have nothing to do with things listed above. I know one very talented person with a good income, and education, who has bad personality and annoys almost everyone. I know a wealthy, educated, powerful man who has nothing humane in him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:13 PM
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Listened to a podcast with a female dating coach who works with men. She said something like “men definitely don’t have it more difficult than women in dating”. Then she proceeds with “women are choosers; if you want to have a good dating life you need to build attractive lifestyle, have a good career, be fit, have interesting hobbies, behave like this, text like this, say this…” Overall, you have to be outstanding. Also, she said rejection for men is normal, so you better get used to it. I thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:07 PM
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If women define the sum of wealth, power, popularity, education, and talents as personality, then yes, personality. If you apply that definition, then there isn’t much to discuss really.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 07:53 PM
3

And I don’t see it as something bad. Intellect should be rewarded. I know a couple of guys who are math machines. They are not pleasant, but I respect them, because they overminds and sacrificed a lot in the process of becoming that clever.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 07:36 PM
1

Yep, there is this detachment of status from wealth. Previously, high earnings were available to bosses - management, military officers, etc. Those who commanded people were rewarded. Now, there are spheres where pure intellect can achieve rewards. Mainly they are IT and investments, may be there are others. But our brains haven’t evolved to think that a man may be valuable even if he doesn’t command other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:38 PM
1

It’s often about earning potential. When I chose my future profession, I definitely thought about money.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:08 AM
1

I guess we can only raise men’s awareness about it. If we told boys, “Little Johnny, when you grow up you may just be a pile of genetic trash”, then less guys would feel deceived when they grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:00 AM
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Chad son of course. No one gives a shit about those who really changes the world around us. Shuji Nakamura invented LED lamps, who cares. But an everyone knows Ronaldo or Shaq, people who literally play with balls.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:40 PM
0

Reading comprehension: -1/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:51 AM
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Yeah, and by coincidence the most fashionable clothes are revealing, sexy, and attractive male attention. No one wears 18th century dresses, pikachu costumes or workwear. Somehow only tiny shorts and tops are fashionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:47 AM
1

A dude in comments said he was sacked for suggesting help to a female coworker. While, all the women on Reddit say nothing like that ever happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 05:16 PM
3

Everyone likes egalitarianism, people just cannot agree on what’s egalitarian. For example, one of the causes of gender pay gap is maternity leave. Is it egalitarian to leave it be or should we pay women more to compensate for the time they spend with children? Another example is physical jobs. Should we pay the same a man and a woman if the man can carry 50 kg at a time and the woman can carry 30kg?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:06 AM
1

In short, your post contains some statements but doesn’t support them with much.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:13 AM
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Hi, OP. If you’re serious, please stop taking it seriously right now. What the term means is that women are less popular as they age. Like, if you are 20 and go to the city centre for a day, 500 men will notice you. If you’re over 30, 100 men will notice you. No women don’t become completely invisible after 30. Yes, women find partners in their 30s and 40s and 50s. Why does “the wall” sound that tough? Because men never experience as much attention as young women. The wall is the wall in compari…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:10 AM
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Not sure if it’s outdated. May be it was never realistic. I suppose the reason is that we have a wrong model of a young male. The assumption is that young guys would be annoying and egoistic to the point of harassment. While many are not that confident and will just avoid approaching girls after hearing all the talk about harassment, objectification, annoying male attention, and all that stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:00 AM
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Such as?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:55 AM
1

I do. Women have all the choice, it’s absolutely not a problem to find a guy who behaves decently. I suppose, she may go to a therapist and change something that makes her choose losers or abusive guys. If you’re always rejected, you can’t only talk your way out of it. You need new information and make actions. That’s why I suppose coaching works better as you stated somewhere. It’s about new info and actions. Asking “what do you feel about x” doesn’t help with that kinda of problems. My point i…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:51 AM
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I’m surprised many people here wonder that some men feel deceived about women. Things people tell boys about dating are one of the most contradictory pieces of information that exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:28 AM
1

A couple of thoughts about it, not sure how correct they are. I think, it’s more common for women to have problems “in their head”. For example, if a woman says that she has difficulty with dating , it most likely means she doesn’t feel fantastic about her current dating experiences. If a guy says that, it probably means he’s constantly rejected. So that’s why therapy may help women more. If a guys is broke, he’s broke. You can’t talk a person out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:00 AM
3

Okay, you make a lot of assumptions not supported by anything. Your post states or implies: men here don’t see women as people. What makes you believe so? Do you suppose any man who has difficulties with women doesn’t seem them as people? What behavior do you count as not seeing women as people? How does seeing women as people resolve the problems men have with women? if men stopped seeing women as non-people, they’d have no problems with women. What makes you believe men who don’t see women as …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 01:42 AM
6

I think, a good share of posters is neurodivergent. It makes sense, as neurodivergent people cannot behave naturally and need to adjust themselves to fit others. But I guess many people are normal and just have some personality qualities that make them contrarians. For example, some people who grow up in religious communities doubt their religion even if they are heavily socialised into it. Does it make them all neurodiverse? They’re just sceptics.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:44 AM
2

Depends on your definition of struggle. Women on Reddit like to use criteria like “not single by 30”. It’s not a good criterion. Women tend to think that any guy who’s dressed in clean shirt and trousers, has perfect dating opportunities. To find out what guy really feels about his dating prospects, you need to have an open conversation in the atmosphere of trust. I have a friend who “does well” for most people. People he’s open with know he lost his virginity at 25, with a professional. Most wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 11:16 AM
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Mmm, that’s not correct. I met two guys about whom I definitely know they were abusive. Both times they were with their wives. I suppose such guys put on a mask when their women are around. There are some behaviors that are typical for them. Verbal aggression towards the weaker. Boasting how strong/powerful they are. Lack of respect for boundaries. But in general my gut feeling about them is that they’d hit your head with a pipe from behind if you two were alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:31 AM
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I guess male and female bullies have some similar qualities. There is always something “stinky” about them. I’m not sure how people don’t see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:20 AM
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Wouldn’t say that disgusting behaviors excite women I know. But I can relate to the story about squaring up a weaker guy. Bullies in my school always had girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:19 AM
2

Compatibility is kind of a second-order problem for men. The major problem is levelling up yourself to a point where you are able to start looking for compatibility. The complaints you listed are incorrect if you read them literally. Like “any guy below 6 foot is doomed to always be alone”. But, as a guy I can understand where those complaints come from.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:15 AM
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It’s interesting women say that it may be difficult to distinguish abusive guys from decent ones in the initial stages of dating. At the same time, I noticed men can detect those guys quite easily. I think, men can detect them easier because in childhood we encounter physically aggressive guys and kinda have a “profile” of a bully. Women often confuse aggressiveness for confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:59 AM
0

Compatibility is rare for sure. BTW, it’s an interesting question for me if a person should look for a person who matches specifically them or for a person who is able to live in harmony with a partner. May be ability to be compatible is a separate characteristic of people. While it’s hard to find someone compatible for anyone, I’d say that the process of looking for that person is more enjoyable for women, on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 12:22 AM
1

I suppose the op refers to the situation where a man complains that dating is hard for men, and a woman responds it is not hard for men. What are your thought on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:04 PM
2

I think OP refers to the situation where a man complains that dating is hard for men and a woman responds that his complains are not valid. What are your thoughts?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:03 PM
2

I think he meant a dialogue that is repeated quite often here and on some other subs. In short it goes like this: A guy: - Dating is so difficult for men. A woman: - Dating is absolutely fine for men. Optional follow ups from the woman: - It’s your personality - There are couples in the mall Your thoughts on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:01 PM
3

I kinda understand what op talks about; his phrasing is quite inaccurate. As I understand it, he means that men often say that dating is borderline impossible for guys, and women respond that there is no such big problem. In other words, he thinks women believe that dating experience for men is absolutely fine, and the complaints are unrealistic. Adding a bit from myself, many women I met irl think that dating is so much easier for men. It surprised me quite a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:57 PM
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You seem to miss the point and add some assumptions to come to conclusions you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:49 PM
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I’ve been listening to some podcasts about male issues recently. So many people say masculinity is in crisis, we need to redefine masculinity, and so on. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that many speakers are like “What’s wrong with those fuckers? It’s needed to do something about them 🤔”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 12:33 AM
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Yep, it’s a bit disappointing people still like “big monkey run”.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:28 PM
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Physiology-schmisiology. I just wanted to say that for me personally physical activity has always been “please not this again” time of the day. I wish this statement about energy and many other generalisations about men were somehow related to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:26 PM
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“Male psychology is craving for being physical and utilising its innate explosive power”. I wish it was like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 06:38 PM
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Probably, it’s a complaint about the very initial stage. Even if you have to initiate, you need to see at least some signs of interest. Probably, it is an expression of frustration caused by failed attempts.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:23 PM
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In my school there were kids who shoved heads of others into the toilet and kids who studied hard and played violin. In the company where I work there are older guys who divorced and married their secretaries and guys who have been with one woman for 20-30 years. Morally questionable people inhabit every social group. A bad boy from Harvard would be different from a bad boy from a redneck area. Anyway, both are morally questionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 02:04 AM
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Add to it that women imagine that men’s lives are so much better than women’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:51 AM
2

Everyone’s opinions on dating are biased by personal experience. Interaction like dating are private, so we have a limited personal exposure, and hear a limited number of their people’s stories. From time to time there is a study or two with a limited scope. Dating is similar to experiences like sex or job interviews. We have to fill the gaps with assumptions. A en example of a different type of activity is talking to a cashier at a shop. You may just observe it a lot and see how it is done “in …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:27 AM
3

Yes, I know guys like that. I’m somewhat like that too. I suppose, the reason is that being good with women is a separate skill for men. I have no idea how this talent is obtained. Some guys are just good at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:43 PM
2

I suppose women meaning both things under one term is a source of misunderstanding. What sounds for women like “there are no guys I like”, sounds to men like “I have high standards and look for an exceptional guy”. There are many arguments on this sub that are caused by misunderstanding words due to different experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:39 PM
1

Do you mean saying “there’s no food” when there is some? Otherwise there is no word play in your example. Yep, I understand why people say it. At the same time this phrase implies the food you have “isn’t even food”. That’s not not the best implication when talking about people imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:31 PM
1

I suppose, it needs to be itemised in the context of discussions we have here. Reading this sub for a while, I understood that men and women are often blind for the experience of each other. By the way, that’s why women overreact negatively to anything RP-related. For example, the meaning of “attractive” seems to be different for men and women. I, and a man, can meet 10-30 attractive women in a day. When women mean attractive they often assume a type of guy they meet once in 6 months. As follows…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:27 PM
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I suppose there would be no discussion about it, if most women said that looks matter, and the best looking guys get all the girls. There are several nuances that feed the discussions on this topic. First, women often downplay the importance of looks. Second, women set a high bar for looks. That’s something you may not understand even if you get normal socialization as a kid and teen. Finally, this requirement to stand out is quite tiring. The realization you need to be a piece of art to have so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 10:39 AM
2

It’s interesting for me to discuss on those verbal misunderstandings. As usual, a gender swap helps. If my male friend told me “odd_cloud, you know, there are no good women”, I’d think he’s been meeting women with personality flaws. Like, materialistic, abusive, disrespectful or something along these lines. But if he said that he cannot find a woman making X money, working in area Y, fit, and of his particular physical type (something like a German blonde over 6 feet with C cup)… I’d say “It has…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:48 AM
5

Kind of. If my friend complained to me there are no good women left, I’d assume that he’s been meeting women with some personality flaws, like materialistic, abusive, unappreciative, or egoistic. Something like that. If he told me that by “no good women” he meant he cannot find a Latina with blue eyes with looks of a model and a C cup, who works in astrophysics, is fit, wants sex 3x a day and makes over 100k… I’d tell him to stop imagining problems and fuck off.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:28 AM
4

I always found that would phrasing “no good man left” a bit strange. I think that the main limiting factor for women’s choice is physical attractiveness of men, not their “goodness”. Wouldn’t it be a bit off if a man complained there were no good women left, while meaning there are not enough model-looking women? If my friend had this hypothetical problem, I’d expect him to say there are no sexy/hot women instead of talking about “good” women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:00 AM
3

An odd linguistic thing is saying there are no good men, but aktually it means other things. It would be strange if I said that there are no good women left, meaning that there is no hot latinas over 6’1’’ who are into rocket science and make over 100k.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 11:28 PM
1

Not fact. It may be an opinion, or a custom, but hardly a fact. I understand that you and many other people believe there are appropriate and inappropriate places. I’m just ethnographically curious in what makes certain places “appropriate”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:22 PM
1

Mmm, doesn’t explain much really. I see too often women believe men possess some supernatural social skills that allow them to understand if a woman is into them or wants to be approached. First, this skill hardly can be defined as a social skill, second, they don’t exist. When you approach a girl, you just take a guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:00 PM
0

For me the personally, people I see at a concert are strangers no less that those I see at a grocery store. I just struggle to understand how being at the same concert or bar or any other place makes another person not-such-a-stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:52 PM
1

👍
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:32 PM
0

I’m just not sure group activities and discipline help that much. I think, social skills and charisma (for the lack of a better word) intersect, but to a small degree. I’m not sure how to target charisma though. May be Rizz 101? I don’t know how to explain to a kid that she/he needs to work hard for what some people have as a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:30 PM
7

I just remember my high school. The two popular guys were not anything special in terms of discipline, sport, hobbies, etc. They were just handsome and likeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 03:01 AM
2

I’ve seen here a good analogy that may help to relate. Imagine you were into a guy when you both were in your early 20s. But he liked another girl and married her. When you’re both in your early 30s he tells you that now he really likes you, so now he is ready to have fwb with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:58 AM
3

There are some things that complicate it. First, women often react negatively if they are approached by an unattractive guy. Second, all this rhetoric about harassment, objectification, and sexualisation doesn’t go unnoticed by young guys. Some public intellectual (don’t remember the name) said that he grew up surrounded by that kind of talk: objectification, mansplaining, manspreading and so on. So, in his teens he genuinely thought that being sexually attracted to women is wrong and evil. How …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:45 AM
6

Approaching a woman you don’t know: eeeeew. Approaching a woman you don’t know, but at a concert: yeeeeees.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:35 AM
1

Argh, this take repeats constantly You see her receptiveness when you already approached. You need to decide if it is appropriate to approach before you approach. You see what the problem is?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:32 AM
9

Agreed, there may be some self-selection bias. Kinda like “kids who are going to be more popular are selecting sports” rather than “sports make people popular”. I think, it may not be the best idea to put a kid in sports if he’s not good at it. There are chances he’ll be bullied if he’s really bad in a team sport. Also, strange attitude about “fuckin” needs and momma boys. As a mentor you may have a serious impact. I had an amazing coach who tried to develop every kid no matter how unconfident a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:15 AM
7

Sports is not a bad idea for developing certain qualities. I guess, it translates to a little degree into future romantic success though. I believe, the most problematic thing for men of all ages is the lack of skills of interacting with women. I have little idea of how someone can “learn” them. I think you over evaluate the attractiveness of mental/physical discipline. If anything, guys should be motivated to be more fun somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:06 AM
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Small dogs are often more aggressive because their owners don’t see threat in them and don’t train them properly. I guess it is similar with those women. If a man behaves this way, he’s quickly reminded of it. But people don’t see that much of a threat from women so they get away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:25 AM
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Huh, if a woman told me that, it would be a memorable day for me, I’d celebrate it every year. No, nothing like that ever happened to me. Nor has it happened to most guys I know. Two guys I know were approached once each, and it was like “can we meet one to one?” rather than suggesting to check how they are in bed. I saw a girl approaching a guy once. But that guy was a sex symbol of our uni department. He could pick up a girl at a bar anytime he wanted. But he was too looking and from a rich fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 02:22 AM
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Well, you start with an advice to not bother women, not sexualise them, never talk about physical attraction. But then you’re supposed to switch to a guy who does it all freely. Like, very confusing thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 02:02 AM
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I meant dominance in sexual and relationship sense, rather than fighting with a rival gang for taking money from a local liquor store. I meant things like initiating sex, explicit sexual comments, rough banter, deciding what two of you are going to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:51 AM
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Any, but to be specific, I’m talking about things that may be classified as an approach. Some women suppose that asking,” What time is it?” is an approach, but I think approach is when you express your interest at least indirectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:47 AM
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Like, any.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:44 AM
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Extremely rare thing. Never happened to me or most of guys I know. Ones who were approached, were approached like 1-2 times in their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:11 AM
2

Social matrix is a weird term. Something like chakras.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:31 AM
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No. “You’re going to be responsible with the things you paid for” is a bullshit idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:28 AM
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That’s weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:27 AM
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In theory, no. In practice people do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:26 AM
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Nah, the purpose of the ratings is different. You use it to roughly estimate your chances. It is pointless without placing yourself on the scale first.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:24 AM
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A couple of thoughts about it. First, attractive men get a lot more from women than unattractive ones. Attractive men sleep with many women when they are young, have threesomes and what not. Unattractive men study textbooks, wait to become a doctor, and jerk off. Second, many women get the rating system wrong. It seems women think that rating system is like “that one is a 8, so I’m going to treat her better, and this one is 4, so I can get away with mistreating her”. Nope, rating system exists b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:21 AM
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What if not a Croatian?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:10 AM
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Looks like your average seller of vegetables at a market or docker, doesn’t he?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:09 AM
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Today I accidentally formulated what confuses me about male gender role in dating. Also, there is a big confusion about gender roles I think. Kinda, in general act like a sexless creatures around women. But if a woman likes you (a bit of mind reading here), act interested and bit. If she’s more interested, act interested. And if she’s very interested, act dominant and aggressive. But if you move in with her, dial down your dominance and aggression, and become an understanding and attentive. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:03 AM
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Got a message “a concerned Redditor reached to us about you”. Which one of you guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 11:59 PM
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Absolutely. All these talks about rights, entitlement, and blame cause such a fatigue in me. It seems like people who are unable to empathize discovered empathy yesterday and try to teach their revelations to others. There is so much discussion about division of chores. Don’t they all feel what makes sense at a specific time? If my gf is tired this week, I do chores, if I’m busy the whole time, she does.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 10:50 PM
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No you didn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 12:40 AM
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I’d like to in-read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:50 PM
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Seems like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:48 PM
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Why do people post here thing like “I went to a supermarket”, “I have a cat”, “I farted”, “my boogies are tasty”?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:46 PM
1

I went to the countryside once, and hiked for about two weeks. My sex drive plummeted. I think, it’s because I didn’t see women in revealing clothing constantly. So, I guess, high sex derive is due to society partly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 10:50 PM
1

I think, you misunderstand it a bit. For men, status and money are a part of attractiveness equation. Being a handsome guy is good, but being a handsome guy with money and status is much better. Why is it a stereotype that girls in high school like the captain of the school team? It’s status. I remember I listened to a podcast with some evolutionary psychologist. He said his female colleague once went to a conference and met the guy who organised the conference. She said she felt very attracted …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:46 PM
–

It seems we agree in general. I’d only say that it’s not “wrong” with that person. We could say it was “wrong” if the majority of men and women had this ability to initiate talks and flirt. In my opinion guys who have no problems with approaching and flirting are a rarity. It’s they who are untypical. In my experience most guys got something going on due to a large degree of luck. In most groups I’ve been in, there ate typically one or two guys who can pick up women consistently.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:34 PM
2

Yes, I met some. Of those I asked, most said that they learn about men through trial and error. Also, I heard some really confused ideas about men from women. Like, “men don’t feel pain because of rejections” or “you men have dating so easy - just approach the girls you like and that’s it”. In short, women often think that dating for men is generally like for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:07 PM
–

Most guys are like that imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:54 PM
–

Guess you’re correct. If a guy is in poor physical shape, he may go to gym. If he has poor style, he may buy new clothes. What should a guy do if he’s bad in talking to women? Guess, there is not much except for reading some pua, despite the quality of their advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:28 PM
–

Nice that you agree on that. Often women seem to believe that a “normal” man is able to talk smoothly to women. The difference with opera is that there are literally schools created to develop musical talent. Opera singers don’t just sing and then become professional. Are there schools for charisma? There are gurus who offer to teach charisma, but they don’t seem particularly reliable. Learning from charismatic people isn’t very reliable too. It’s like learning singing from a person with a natur…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:17 PM
–

In my opinion charisma is a talent, so it’s hardly possible to develop it. Women on ppd like to frame it like just having friends or interacting with people in general makes guys good with women. Some say that sports in teenage years is a cure-all pill. In my experience, it doesn’t really work like that. Interacting with women is a separate skill that is weakly correlated with the rest of social and other skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:54 AM
–

In my opinion, having charisma is a cheat code. I suppose, guys are concentrated on things like looks, money, and gym, because they are manageable. Becoming charismatic seems unmanageable. Interacting with people doesn’t translate into pick up or approaching skills. I gained quite a lot of skills in my life, but it seems no one really knows how to develop charisma. I interacted with many people, but it didn’t translate into skills with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:25 AM
–

Charisma helps, of course. The only thing I’d argue is that charisma can hardly be called a social skill. On a 10 point scale of social skills charisma is about 15. Saying charisma is a social skill is like saying teleportation is a developed running skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:08 AM
1

Congrats. I think, asking rp/bp is pointless. At least it was for me, because it’s necessary to specify what exactly person believes those things are. I noticed people often talk here past each other because they understand different things under rp. Often, you’ll see here a dialogue between a guy for whom rp is a set of rules like 80/20, and a woman, for whom rp is guys who want prohibit women to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:56 PM
2

Answering the question in your post: rp explained some details about female attraction I didn’t get growing up in bp environment. I found bp advice not working and struggled to reconcile reality with bp description of relationships. Responding to the rest of your post: why did you decide anyone who touched rp is miserable and ostracised? May it be I’m less miserable than you?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:40 PM
8

I think, dating stage is a sweet spot for men, especially if he sees more than one woman. If the relationship advances, there are increasing responsibilities and decreasing benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:13 PM
3

In my opinion it’s the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:38 PM
2

Hmmm, doubt it. Most men I know have/ had a relationship, but didn't have casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:46 PM
1

Depends on what type of feminist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:42 AM
3

Speaking of looks, it is still a mystery to me why women focus so much on them. I discussed it with women a couple of times and could not receive a reliable answer. On the one hand, women themselves say they meet guys they like quite rarely. If I met people I like rarely, I would dress up rarely. At the same time, I think women overestimate the importance of looks. Probably being nice is something pushed on women, it's hard for me to judge. Bending to the will of men and being helpful are two th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:56 AM
3

Interesting. What specifically do you think women constantly do to be liked by men?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:07 AM
3

You listed good things, which are components of a good relationship for people of both genders. I couldn't help but notice that your list doesn't include something about getting a man. It is quite illustrative because it assumes women aren't really worried about getting a man. Then women are surprised when they learn that men don't really have types, that they'd like to have sex every day, or that they don't typically sleep around with sexy models. BTW, that idea that men have types (just like w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:02 AM
3

I think feeling obligated is what I can’t relate to. I don’t feel obligated. It is like if my wife suggested me to play ping pong, and I don’t really want to. Not a big deal. May be it wouldn’t be fantastic, but it would be quite enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:52 AM
-1

Btw, had a couple of conversations here today. Thanks for being one of the few reasonable people here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:27 AM
4

If someone farts, they’re entitled to pollute the air and add to climate change. Got ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:26 AM
0

Well, I am ready to admit that I live in a bubble of people where I don’t see and women around me don’t experience it either. In my wide social circle I know only one woman who was physically assaulted. And I don’t know her personally, she’s friends of friends. Do you know what I see very frequently though? Men who are nervous from the idea of talking to women they like. I’d say the majority of guys I know are afraid of bothering a woman with their unwanted attention. It is probable I just live …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:20 AM
8

Honestly speaking, I reread your comments and struggle to find see your point at all. I gave you examples of very strange ideas women have about men. By the way those women were quite experienced in dating. I don’t know how you can say it is a better understanding of men. I don’t know how a better understanding is having little or no idea about other people wants, needs, general psychology. I struggle to understand what’s your idea of understanding is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:57 AM
4

I did write this and I haven’t changed my opinion yet. The problem I refer to is that “entitlement-seekers” appear under any post unrelated to entitlement and start spam this word there. Like a guy suggests to discuss women’s standards that he believes are too high. Entitlement-seekers appear under that post and say he’s entitled. It doesn’t follow from his question, it is not related to the topic, it’s boring to read over and over. Same stuff happens if the guy vents that women don’t like him a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:46 AM
13

This doesn’t mean women understand men better. Like, being electrocuted doesn’t make you an expert in electric networks. Your comment even supports my point of view. In your examples a woman thinks about things she dislikes about a certain men and his behavior, not what men in general (on average) like in a want from women. Can you think of something that makes women think about needs and wants of a guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:30 AM
8

Yeah, there are psycho lunatics. What do you want from me in that relation? If you don’t like them, go shout under their comments, not mine. About 50% of men say they aren’t pursuing women. Neither short- not long-term. I heard somewhere it’s GSS data. I know how it is to be a 16 year old boy who is horrified of speaking to his crush. I know many guys who carry this fear in adulthood. So I don’t believe in most men being entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:22 AM
2

Yes, absolutely. I find women of all ethnicities and types attractive: tiny Asian women, giant women from Netherlands, Scandinavian Valkyries, Amazonian warrior-looking Vietnamese, shy Japanese, bold Eastern Europeans, Italians with their light in the eyes, tall and strangely thin black women, arrogant Saudis.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:05 AM
13

I listed you some examples of women believing some strange myths about men. Just read again: a girl who dated before meeting me, dated me, and said men don’t feel pain from rejections. And examples like that are common. I suppose, women believe myths like that because they never have to think about how men work, what men like, what men want. The maximum women have to do is to say yes if they like a guy. I think I would know nothing about women if the day I became sixteen a girl a day would appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:56 AM
–

Haha, bastard chat. I asked it a similar question and it refused to answer. As for men, I think financial position and physical attractiveness are valid. I don’t like the phrasing though. It’s not that “men feel pressured”, those are real problems imo. Dating dynamics is a valid thing too imo. Without a general standard it is difficult to appear not too disinterested and not too pushy. As for women, I think women don’t have problems with “regular” dating. Safety and objectification are real prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:46 AM
17

Nonono, seriously doubt it. Men have to be the initiators, so they have to think about women. They need to think what women like in men to become an attractive mate. They need to learn the courting process. They need to do things women like to be liked back. Thats why all those books exist: how to talk to women, what women like in men, how to text, how to flirt, body language. Hell, pua and red pill exist for this reason. I recently asked in the daily chat what women read about dating. Not many …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:34 AM
7

I think, the whole talk about entitlement is often kind of a witch hunt. I mean, first you get confident that men are entitled, then you see entitlement everywhere. Kinda like “he breathes -> men need to breathe to have sex -> he is entitled to sex”. Take delusion for example. I know a couple of women who are in top 10-5% of earners. They want men who earn more. On top of that, they want them to be handsome, in shape, and having interesting hobbies. I have no interest in those women. I know it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:24 AM
30

Absolutely. One of my constant takes is that women don’t really know and understand men. Instead they operate with some “common wisdoms” they heard somewhere. I think, women would benefit from reading something about male psychology.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:06 AM
0

Mhm. The arrogance of some westerners surprised me. The life standard of Indian, Chinese, Russian, Thailand middle class may be much higher than that in UK, Germany, or US. Take Germany for example. Dysfunctional train system. Paper money. Paper post. You wait a few weeks for a doctors appointment and they may recommend you homeopathy. Kafkian bureaucracy. Insane taxes. Don’t get me wrong, freedoms are a very pleasant things to have. But in terms of living standards… what exactly are so-called h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:03 AM
2

I like this point. Developed nations are not THAT more developed. The gap was much wider in the 90s. But currently many developing nations get a lot of things done much better than so-called developed ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 12:32 AM
1

Hmmm, it’s hard for me to agree that average man and an average woman have equal chances of finding a relationship, because women can get more dates. And usually you need dates to start a relationship. Depends on definition of “doomed”. I think the nuanced definition of 80/20 is correct and I think that an average man is rather doomed. This definition means that women can have hook ups, holiday flings, fwbs, and whatnot. For men it means that you have to work building up yourself, and may you’ll…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 02:25 AM
2

They definitely think most men are unattractive. Ask a woman how often she meets a guy she’d go on a date with. I asked a couple of women, they said like once a month probably. Guys frequently say they meet 10-20 women they like a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 02:02 AM
2

I can’t really accept this argument about hinge. It doesn’t seem to me that the limit on swipes reveals true preferences of men. I suppose, it just biases them: men really like 50 women out of 100, but they tend to message the top ones if there is a limitation on likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:56 AM
1

What you call “right in a way” is what 80/20 really means. Top guys have an insane amount of options for a man. At the same time, they have as many options as an average woman. It means that in order to have dating life comparable to a usual woman’s, the man must be exceptional. It is the reason men discuss 80/20 at all. The interpretation of 80/20 as “80% of men will never have find anyone” comes from the critics of red pill, who strawman the concept. First, they dumb it down and strip of all t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:49 AM
2

It’s funny how empty it’s under your post. All these critics don’t appear here with their stories about an old blogpost.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:36 AM
2

Why though? Everyone understands why a guy approaches, but you want him to pretend.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 01:03 AM
6

Mmm, sharing company and thoughts is good though, but communicating in romantic or sexual context is a different skill. I asked out several girls with whom I seemingly had an intellectual connection, and it didn’t work out. One of them dated a jock, still kinda hurts. At a certain moment I understood that connection is good, but you have to have looks, game, status and money to compete successfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:50 AM
2

Still doesn’t resolve this low budget paradox for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:44 AM
3

45-ish. Everywhere: high school, college, on the street, bars, malls, college parties. I had two LTRs later, but I didn’t approach them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:43 AM
2

Well, it's difficult, involves a bit of mind reading.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:31 AM
1

That was always interesting for me. If a guy approaches with his dick, it's awful. But if he pretends to care about her brain, then it's alright. He knows he approaches with his dick, she knows he approaches with his dick, he knows she knows, she knows he knows she knows, but there is a need to pretend. Strange enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:30 AM
5

It's not the issue of just talking to women. The problem is talking to women in a romantic context. I agree with Aafan that it's one of the biggest problems for men. It is connected to a degree with the problem that men rarely experience interest from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:26 AM
3

Bingo, not knowing how to approach is a major thing. When people talk about men hesitant to approach, they often concentrate on the fear of rejection, but almost never discuss that the major reason may be that men do not really know how to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:21 AM
4

I did approach when I was young. Before I started actively approaching, I thought it was not probably the best idea for me. But I did it anyway, because I read some books and blogs that encouraged approaching. Turned out, it really was not the best idea for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:18 AM
3

When I was in high school, I approached two girls. The rejections discouraged me from approaching for a couple more years. During that period, no one showed interest in me. I decided that it may happen because I don't approach like other dudes do. So, I read some books and blogs and started approaching actively. After the 45th rejection, I stopped. A couple of years later, I met a girl who showed clear interest in me, and we dated for a couple of years. Then, I met another girl who showed clear …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:14 AM
7

I think if tomorrow men started liking only Victoria Secret models and would be "meh" about ordinary women, women would wonder if everything is okay with men's standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 01:16 AM
0

One of the best comments I've seen here in a long time. So, strong social policies, unionization, ban on off-shoring, and, consequently restrictions on the movement of capital. Higher taxation of profits as well. Unfortunately, it's not very realistic given the current state of affairs. However, this solves only the problems of family creation. According to your source, if resources do not play a huge role in reproduction choice, there is inequality anyways. It means that income redistribution w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 01:06 AM
1

Well, discussing the issue would be a nice start. Currently, there are little resources about dating for men. The mainstream media are concentrated on dating from a womans point of view. I think, it would be particulary nice if women learned something about dating from the male point of view. I met quite a lot of women, who have a vague understanding of what dating is for men. Too many women I talked to imagined that men typically sleep around and then marry a woman who is extremely better than …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 12:57 AM
0

Also, people just like women more. For example, a story about a friend of my friends. She locked herself outside of her Airbnb in a foreign country. She walked around her block and found a group of exchange students. She hanged out with them for several hours while waiting for the host to open the apartment. They shared some food and booze with her - she locked her purse inside the apartment too. No way I can imagine I could walk into a random group of people, they’d hang out with me and share s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 01:57 AM
1

I guess a bit of both. In my personal experience, I’ve never felt that isolated, but I read that many guys are, so it seems there is some truth to it. As for romantic loneliness, I experienced it and saw a lot of guys experiencing it. I think the problem with romantic loneliness is quite obvious. I’d like to add one type of loneliness that is male-specific in my opinion. It’s having people around you but being unable to be open with them. It feels to me sometimes that men are not allowed to have…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 01:52 AM
2

It would be nice if women had to initiate. It would make sense because they like a small proportion of men. If women initiated, they’d receive no unwanted approaches and men would be rejected less frequently. Seems like a win-win for both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 06:50 PM
3

There is a partial truth to this statement. I guess, not all career women are dominant, but most dominant women are career oriented. When guys say something like the thing in your post, they pretty much equate the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 09:15 AM
–

As always, it’s quite nuanced. Sometimes the man is really deaf. Sometimes the woman doesn’t communicate well. Like, they’d say something like “I’d be nice if the laundry was done”. No shit, it’d be nice, yeah. Generally, normal, open, and friendly communication works the best. Being together against a problem is a better approach than being against each other. On the topic of divorces and break ups, I think some women have an expectation that they’ll meet a man who’ll be primarily concerned wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:27 PM
–

At least from time to time I meet a woman here who doesn’t post basically “men bad”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:00 PM
1

It’s difficult for me to say what really happens when women get into relationships with those men. So, you’re probably right. I could see the initial approach stage only. It became clear for me that if you’re not a good-looking, high status (in a given environment), rich (in that environment), and charismatic, then there is really no point in “just approach her”. In knew a guy in uni who was quite popular among girls. He drove his Audi to classes, could spend $200-300 on a night out, was quite g…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 09:28 AM
3

I’d say high standards are high, because women don’t like their own equivalents. When I was in high school and college, who dated around? Girls and good-looking, charismatic guys from rich families. Girls were not that excited about ordinary dudes who just came to the uni to study and didn’t have much going in their life because they were on a low budget. I’ve seen those popular guys approaching with no problem. At the same time, ordinary guys I knew rarely if ever had a girl interested in them.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:34 AM
1

Okay, let’s compare. You: addicted in your 20s, struggled with finishing school, entry level job in marketing in your late 20s. You were able to date some guys, and even made children with someone. My friend: finished a top-3 uni in the country at 21, masters at a top-3 uni at 22, two years of entry level professional work, then a managerial position at one of the largest national companies, then almost an executive position in a mid-sized company. He lost virginity with a professional at 26.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 12:28 AM
1

Looks are important. Looks are not that important. How do they contradict each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 03:43 AM
–

It seems to me women can actually do what they want in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 03:42 AM
–

I think it boils down to the expectation that men do everything “just right”. You shouldn’t be too available, but don’t be unavailable. You should show interest, but don’t show too much interest. You should show you like her appearance, but don’t show you like her appearance. You shouldn’t lean for a kiss too early, but don’t do it too late. Women often expect that a man does everything to a right degree. In short, I think women expect too much of a mind reading. Of course, if you say this stuff…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 01:41 PM
2

Does it? How? What’s so masculine for a guy about basically asking someone if they like him?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:08 AM
1

Depends on the perspective. It can be equally true that women can’t approach men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:06 AM
1

But there is a risk to be used for sex even if guys approach. So I don’t really see the connection. Also, the whole concept of “being used” seems quite strange for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:04 AM
1

Where did you get it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:54 AM
3

A mystery that is still unsolved for me is why are men expected to approach? The rejection rate is quite high, which is not pleasant for most men and many women. The woman may feel uncomfortable or offended. The approach must not be too lame or too intensive. Consider what approaching would be if women initiated. Rejections would happen less often. No one would be offended. No need to select words - everything would work from embarrassed “Y-y-y-ou know, I k-k-kinda like you” to “Dude, let’s go f…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:53 AM
1

What’s this table?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:43 AM
3

I think, this misunderstanding happens because women tend to assume dating is the same for men and women. But there are some differences that make it very different. I noticed, women often think that a chance of approach success for a man is the same as for a woman. I'd say if a woman approaches, her chance of success is something like 50-80%. Men are rejected much more frequently. So, if a guy approaches only women he super-mega-giga likes, he may stay single for a long time. Also, I think wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:20 AM
1

Reasonable first two paragraphs, and a very strange conclusion in the third one. You say that looks are not important after basically saying that they are important.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:01 AM
1

May be it looks like that from a perspecitve of a woman. I think, it's quite an exaggaration. Proportion of women whom men like is just higher than proportion of men whom women like. Like, a man would like 50 out of 100 random women, while a woman would like 5 out of 100. Maybe it looks like no standards but there a some standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:51 AM
2

Sex is not reserved for only attractive people. But, ordinary guys usually have it in relationships, while the most good-looking guys have casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:46 AM
5

I think standards are higher for casual sex. In my experience normal guys get into relationships from time to time. Casual sex happens to a minority of guys, who are good-looking, tall, and relatively rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:42 AM
2

I'd argue that the standards for casual are higher. In my experience, all sorts of guys are able to get a relationship. Casual sex is reserved for a minority of guys. Typically, model looking, tall, shredded, relatively rich guys. There are many things that are disappointing about not having casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:35 AM
5

In my opinion, standards are higher for casual. Source: I knew some men. In every environment, your average guy goes on dates, tries to impress a woman, and gets into relationships. What type of guys regularly has casual sex? Model looks, tall, shredded, rich relatively to his environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:19 AM
0

I think it raises an interesting topic. I noticed many (especially young) women have quite a biased perception of men. It seems to me those women are still mentally in the 1950s where women may earn some insignificant amount, but men earn some real money. Being mentally in the 50s, they assume that their 60-90k annually is still me kind of “pocket money”, while there are lots of men earning the real income. It seems they don’t realise they have outcompeted quite a lot of people, and that men the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 01:54 AM
2

Of course they do, why even ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 12:39 PM
1

I don’t know the exact reason, but my friends are always male. Somehow, friendships with women don’t grow organically.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 01:21 AM
1

I don’t feel like I’m missing something by being friends primarily with men. Just noticed this pattern and wondered why. It seems like friendships with women don’t happen to me organically. Probably, having more female friends would have helped me with dating, but it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:56 AM
1

Yep, but I noticed some people form mixed sex groups. It seems that some people are organically more predisposed to same-sex socialization.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:53 AM
2

I guess it’s not bad for him. I have a feeling that you need to be “entertaining” to talk to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:51 AM
1

I mean my interaction with women is limited to discussing the content of the courses. Things like how to solve that problem or what that method does. It’s not like we talk about anime and football with guys. We talk about our impressions from the course, how it may help us in our careers and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:50 AM
1

With guys we discuss stuff related to classes. Things like why we applied for the courses, what we expect, how it’s going to change our careers. Same interests as women there have.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 11:20 PM
3

On the topic of having female friends as a man. I never had female friends. It is not some kind of a problem for me, but I just noticed this pattern in my life after reading some Reddit. Recently I went for some professional education courses. I interact similarly with men and women in the classes. But I hangout with guys in between and after classes, and have conversations unrelated to classes. With women all the interaction happens strictly in the classes. I don’t know why. It seems that as a …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 11:13 PM
–

I’m not sure about this term. To me, it sounds like some people just discovered they may like someone, and invented a special word for it. It seems like in this cynical age just likening someone must be labeled a psychoanalytical term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 11:59 PM
7

Well, I mean for women it is like “like the guy” -> “get the guy”. No skill required.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 01:28 PM
2

I heard about a study that measured increase in romantic feelings because of common experiences. It was much higher in men. The researchers sent a guy and a girl to a scenic place and asked them about feelings about each other when they returned. There was an increase in romantic interest in guys, while in girls there was no effect. So, in men interest grows if a woman is simply around him. Doesn’t seem to happen to women. In their case if it is no, it is a no.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:03 AM
2

Compared to women, we have very low standards. Of course, I’m not excited about a female hobo I see on the street. But I found many women I liked in almost every place I’ve been to. In college, hobby classes, at work, I could see many women attractive to me. Women aren’t like that. They aren’t that attracted to a typical guy from their environment. Like, when I was in college I felt okay about dating another student who just did the studying stuff. Girls were attracted and were dating guys who h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 10:58 AM
16

Couple of ideas about it. Attracting women is partly a question of skill for men. If a man likes a woman, he has to do something about it. So, being good (or bad) in interactions with women adds(or decreases) self esteem just like any other skill does. On top of that, men are expected to be proficient in it by default, which adds to self esteem issues. Imagine you’re expected to be a skilled electrician because you’re a woman. “What? You’re a grown woman and don’t know how to connect high voltag…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 10:45 AM
4

I think, taking into account most out-of-the ordinary things (like abuse), men are worse. But women treat men worse in ordinary daily interactions. What’s worse, women don’t really understand men and do not want to. For example, take rejections. Often, women have the point of view that rejections are no big deal for a man. When I asked why they think so, they say “Cause they are men”. Women would say they’d feel ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed if they were rejected. But apparently men don…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 12:08 PM
1

Well, there is a lot to unpack, but this thing about doing better in school really engaged me. Yes, I'd say this advice is so lame I wouldn't even consider it a piece of advice. Here is my advice on being better in school: At the beginning of every module, make or find a map that lists all the topics covered in it. It's not a bad idea to print it and track your progress. When taking notes, divide the things you study into three groups: concepts (things you need to understand deeply), facts (thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:08 AM
2

Because it is a major failure in a significant area of life. The same way people regret about an unhappy childhood or a failed career. Are you so perfectly rational nothing ever bothers you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 12:25 AM
4

Your first paragraphs come from some strange fear of men who want to make women sleep with everyone. It’s a common boogeyman on this sub, and mostly women repeat it. For gods sake, most young men feel nervous about talking to a woman they like. 50% of young men responded to a poll that they have never approached a girl. And you tell this fairy tale that men want to somehow oppress women. Why do all these discussions, like this sub, exist? Because no one can give a definite answer to a simple que…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 02:00 PM
2

I am interested why so many women insist on ordinary men staying in their line. To be honest it all sounds like “Be happy you get what you get. All the fun is reserved for exceptional men, but you guys must work, so maybe once a woman will pay attention to you”. You don’t like when men complain about women’s standards, but are ready to tell that men need to lower theirs. Like, you women could simply tell what a man needs to do to become the man you women really like. Nope, you need to tell men t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:52 AM
4

Why talk about them? OP raised the topic of attractiveness standards. Attractive men are popular, have casual sex, fwb, holiday flings, and pick up girls here and there. By coincidence, they happen to somewhat match that 6-6-6 standard. Like, dating three women over their lifetime and marrying one of them is what unattractive men do. You mentioned men in their 30s and 40s. I’d pay attention to people in their 20s. It’s where all the dating happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:41 AM
9

No, it’s about women specifically. They are quite achieved professionals, are in relationships/married, buy properties and what not. But if you have a frank conversation, it still bothers them that in their early 20s they were not guys who were able to pick up a girl at a bar
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:06 AM
13

The ones satisfied with their dating history? Pretty much yes, tall, handsome, from rich families. Don’t know about their inches though, and don’t want to. Most men I know feel they’re kinda losers in interactions with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:16 AM
16

I know many couples, but I know few men who were satisfied with their dating history.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 11:22 PM
2

I think, there are three sources of both: influence of family, media, or culture. For example, the belief that men are oppressive oppressors comes from this source primarily. Personal experience. Things like abuse and cheating. Lack of knowledge about the other sex. For example, the idea that “men just need to get off” or not believing that periods may cause severe pain. The three things are pretty much intertwined. I think there are also sources that form specifically misogyny or misandry. It l…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 12:58 AM
30

Men bottle up their problems and feelings because no one really gives a fuck. Since early teens, people generally just criticise you for not solving your problems. By the way, women have all these networks because people are more open to including women into said networks.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 03:21 AM
1

You can, everyone can’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:07 AM
1

Six packs, probably. As for jobs, everyone can’t have a good job.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:04 AM
1

Maybe, I’m not an expert. I see the problem with the intended effect. Together with side effects you get the main intended effect. It’s probable you don’t need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:00 AM
1

It’s a possible outcome. Well, it does make men responsible, but it is an option imo. As for #3, I don’t think it is because of feminism. As I understand, in the past it was like: invitation for a date -> first dates -> more dates -> talking to each others friends and family. Don’t know where sex fits here tbh. Currently it may be a date, a hookup, situationship, fwb, all that stuff. Must be confusing for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:59 AM
2

I think, ssri without anti-depressive effects would work. I don’t think it’s a good idea to take drugs for their side effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:53 AM
3

The thing is, falling in love for no reason is the privilege of most women and very attractive men. Do you think guys who read pua and rp just choose it as an alternative to just having happy relationships? Like, do you think they select to read all that stuff, while their alternative option would be a date with a woman they like? So, this is how it works (approximately of course). You’re a guy in your late teens. You have a crush on a girl. You were taught girls like when guys really love them …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:52 AM
5

Saw a thread that asked for solutions for dating. I was too late, so no one will respond to my comment. I believe the daily chat will generate some replies. Some relatively realistic ideas: 1) Have some kind of classes for men on dating and courting. I think, many young guys just don’t have an idea of what to do if they like a woman. One of dating researchers said that we had a wrong understanding of young men. We thought they would constantly approach or even harass women. It isn’t true, guys d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:34 AM
4

Ok, couple of realistic ideas: 1) Have some kind of classes for men on dating and courting. I think, many young guys just don’t have an idea of what to do if they like a woman. One of dating researchers said that we had a wrong understanding of young men. We thought they would constantly approach or even harass women. It isn’t true, guys do nothing if they aren’t motivated and don’t know what to do. 2) Change the way we raise boys. A post on this sub specified attractive male qualities as confid…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:27 AM
1

Sounds like civilization = effeminate. So, WWI and WWII, because everyone went to war? And prehistory because of living in nature? Sorry, I don't know what the "work in the elements" means.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:59 AM
5

What problem do you have with this narrative? I tend to trust it because it is comprehensive, supported with data, and matches my experience and my conversations with people about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:52 AM
6

It kinda works like that: a guy is rejected by many women -> he thinks all women don't like him -> this specific woman is the same. "Also, younger women would have probably rejected your younger self as well" - that is the whole cause of the problem. I can suppose that the feeling of rejection and being unwanted is not something women can really relate to, so the situation looks strange for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:47 AM
5

There are such women, I know a couple. Why should it really matter? They are not typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:35 AM
1

I think the problem is you need to go to red pill or a sub like this to see it explicitly stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:11 AM
6

Mmm, probably I explained poorly. Imagine you’re a guy around 30. A woman of your age shows interest in you. You look at her and understand a woman like her would reject you 8-10 years ago. You think that while you were alone and desperate for attention, she had flings, dates, and what not. So, you think “Where were you when I was young and alone?”. And you don’t really want to date her.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:09 AM
5

The question of the OP was why men are concerned. I gave my view on why. Why would men make assumptions about dating history of a woman he doesn’t know closely? Men aren’t blind and deaf, so they have some understanding of what dating is for a woman. I know some single women and my friends know some single women, so I can imagine what they do on the dating scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:04 AM
9

I suppose, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:59 AM
1

When was that back then when men were more masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:57 AM
7

Ahhh, make a post about it. I’m tired from people arguing against 80/20 because they saw a fat couple at a Walmart.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:54 AM
5

There is some explanation. A study compared attractiveness of two people in couples. They found that they were on the same level of attractiveness if they were not familiar to each other when they started dating. At the same time, attractiveness in a couple was different if people knew each other for 9 months before dating. It means that the way for not handsome men to get in a relationship is to be exposed to women and hope that one of them would like him eventually. So, not handsome men cannot…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:51 AM
6

Not exactly correct. The bottom 90% of men received more messages in total, simply because there are more of them. A more informative indicator is messages per week a man received. Top guys received like 5 a week, and the rest received almost zero per week.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:42 AM
17

Depends on how unlucky the guy was. If he was rejected a lot at his early 20s, and in his late 20s a woman shows interest in him, he may assume she would reject him when he was younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 07:47 PM
50

Men who have a problem with promiscuity were not allowed in the promiscuity club. An analogy for you to explain how it feels like. Imagine you study at a college and you’re in a stable group of peers. They don’t want to talk to you at all. You’re ignored when you start a conversation with them. Then, couple of years after your graduation, these people reach out to you and say they’d really like to hangout with you, but you need to rent a place and pay for the drinks. You’d probably have little d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:54 PM
5

The problem I see is that the cluster of attractive qualities isn’t really communicated to men. It’s rarely mentioned even. If you look at the comments even on this sub, women struggle with formulating it clearly. You are in a quite small minority. The dead-end conversation constantly happens here, where men say that women are not really attracted to good character, while women try to prove they are and their opponents are morally awful. In a sense, you repeat what rp says about chads behavioura…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:20 PM
3

Nah, hookups aren’t really connected to some sense of manhood. In a sense, hookups are a measure of being desired. Women have a lot of choice, so if a guy is selected for hookups, he’s attractive. In general, men don’t have much opportunity for hookups, so if you’re allowed into the hookup club, then you’re more attractive than those men who aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:06 AM
2

I think it’s quite typical for boys to not have female friends. In my class, there were several groups of people. The mixed groups of boys and girls existed around attractive guys. In order to have a female friend, a guy needed to be attractive or a friend of an attractive guy. I have a theory about your mother’s confusion. I think, people often suppose that a normal guy (not a total failure in some areas of life) has no problems socialising with women. In my opinion, having problems is the defa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 11:03 AM
1

The thing about the real connection is that once you meet a person and you feel it’s your fate to be with them. That person may not necessarily match all the checkboxes you have in your head. I know a friend of a friend, who was in complicated relationships with a married man. I think he matched all the requirements women may have. But then she met an ordinary guy and they’ve been together since.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 10:37 AM
2

I can’t believe someone can be that determined to waste time pointlessly arguing with people. A more realistic scenario would be that there are 5-10 people paid by someone, and each of them works like 1-2 hours a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 01:08 AM
3

Well, dating is a huge contradictory minefield for neurotypical men too. I can only imagine what it is for guys with autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:56 AM
1

I suppose a group of people works on the account called Lilith.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:52 AM
26

To be fair, I’ve seen a similar dialogue countless times here: Guy: Women say they like men with good personality, but actually date Chad even if he has bad personality. Woman: Nooooo, we really like good men. You don’t get any women because you’re the real asshole, misogynist, abuser, you cannot treat women as people and want a bangmaid!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:42 AM
–

In my opinion, people who are successful, don’t understand the nuance. They simply have never thought about it. If a guy just goes to girls, asks them on a date, and they agree, it’s really simple for him. He’ll say “just ask her on a date and that’s it”. If it doesn’t work for you, you’ll start to think about nuances. One of my friend rehabilitated from a serious illness. He told me “you guys don’t know how difficult walking actually is”. I bet he has a more nuanced understanding of walking tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:26 AM
–

For me, some rp concepts are useful to understand the other sex. We humans are not well-equipped to understand what happens in the mind of a person of the opposite sex. Yeah, generally everyone gets the idea of what attractive qualities are. But if you want to explain specifics, it’s not enough. Why are guys successful with women quite rare? What qualities do make a man do well with women? When people discuss these things, you find that there are different understandings and definitions of terms…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:17 AM
–

Very thoughtful response. You most likely have little idea of messages boys get about girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:22 PM
4

Yep, I think people often perceive things said online as coming from a single person called “online”. There are many men with different viewpoints, not one man with contradictory views.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:46 AM
2

I guess if you don’t have any success, you stop at a certain point. I mean if you ask 50 women on a date and not a single one agrees, it may be enough to discourage you. By the way, how many hundreds? I mean it makes a difference if you asked 200 or 900. Probably, you have to be extremely resilient. I think not many people are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:32 AM
–

Listened to a podcast, and the speaker, a psychologist, told about one interesting study. He said that looks are similar in couples who didn’t know each other before starting dating. If two people knew each other before dating for 9 month, they more frequently had different level of looks. Which means that looks are important if you choose a partner right now. If you date a person you know, then looks aren’t that important in your decision. Well, it explains something. So, unattractive men can f…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 02:23 AM
2

Guess the reason people overthink dating? People they are attracted to don’t agree to go on dates with them. You said you went on 50-60 dates. Imagine you asked 50-60 women on a date, and no one agreed. You’d be overthinking dating too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 02:18 AM
1

I don’t object really.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:55 PM
7

Some people are unable to date based on their romantic feelings. So, they go online to figure out some things about themselves and the opposite sex to become able to date based on their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 07:01 PM
–

Many things in discourse around men sound like the person who invented them has never talked to a man. Women in general have little good knowledge about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 03:24 PM
–

Well, I had a reaction like “no, not exactly how men work” to the original post. While there are some truths, I cannot relate to that post. It reminded me how some people think that men want variety, because they participate in some competition for men. While it is true men prefer variety, it seems an artificial idea to explain it through male competitiveness. I have similar feeling about the original post. I guess the reversal shows that describing your preferences through some kind of a covert…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:57 PM
–

Haha, it’s a simple gender reversal of your post. I guess the point is that motivations you prescribed to men are not their real motivations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:24 PM
–

But does the same paragraph make sense if it’s about men?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:23 PM
–

I think women don’t see it as insulting, because they don’t notice how they discriminate men. In the uni, I had a male classmate, with whom a new girl was “experimental” every week. Most of other guys I knew in college had practically or literally no luck. How should they feel when several years later women want them to wait? It feels like the message is “I was experimental with those guys, but you had to wait several years, and now you’ll have to wait a bit more”. I have an analogy. Imagine a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:22 PM
–

When I reflect on this explanation, I cannot completely relate to it. Someone did a gender reversal version of your post in the comments, and there are some women telling that it’s not how women work. I have a similar reaction to your post - that’s not how men work. I heard a point of view that men like the idea of casual sex, because having many sexual partners signalizes that the man is high status and makes him more “manly” man. This sophisticated view is incorrect. I entertain the idea of ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:52 PM
2

In my opinion, a disparity between men and women. If your average woman wants to spend a night with a man, she’s able to hook up with a very good looking guy. If you don’t really understand why it is important, imagine a reversal world. In such world, an average guy can walk to a bar and pick up a model if he wants so. So, this leaves most men outside of the casual scene and creates an unequal dynamic in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:17 AM
5

I think you may make conclusions from your own comparison of messaging boys receive with messaging girls receive. Indeed, girls receive the message that they must have great looks. However, I’d argue that messaging boys receive is largely blue pill. Many pieces of mainstream advice are concerned with men’s emotional intellect, communication, respect and what not. Just to see advice about looks and career you must go to some kind of underground advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:33 AM
1

Dismissed? I said I see some problems with advising sport, but sport may be helpful in general. I think if someone has black and white thinking, it’s certainly not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:47 PM
1

Black and white thinking? I think, a short recap wouldn’t be excessive. Your take: “Sport develops attractive qualities in boys”. My takes: 1) “Maybe, sport doesn’t always help boys”, 2) “Sport takes time he may spend on activities more significant for his future”, 3) “May something be wrong with general environment, if we need a special environment to develop certain important traits in boys?”. Well, if you think these takes are not nuanced, I don’t have much to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:15 PM
3

Just ask yourself how common sense is formed. Until to a certain point the common sense of these guys is “women like nice guys”.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 05:46 PM
1

When I say that sport is not a guarantee, I don't say it to refute the idea of being into sport. I mean, it may not be a solution in some (many?) cases., so I wouldn't stop at "sport is the answer". I see a problem with this particular trade-off. In my experience, the most professionally successful people were schooled in their professional subjects more extensively than others. So, that trade-off exists for me, and I don't like it. You can put your kid in either an activity that will help him d…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:54 PM
–

Do whatever you’re comfortable with. I think I’d like to have many partners when I was single, but the idea of being in open committed relationships feels weird to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:01 PM
1

Sports may help. But there are some problems with sports. First, the effect isn’t guaranteed. I participated in some sports and it helped with general confidence, but it didn’t transfer to interactions with girls. Second, depends on how successful the boy is in sport. It he has no talent for sport, he’ll get an environment where everyone dislikes him. However, sports may be helpful in general. Finally, if a boy spends time on sports, his potential success is decreased. For example, I went to spo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:49 PM
6

People who fight against nice guys (like you) read the situation incorrectly and assume some kind of a person that barely exists. The thing is, many young men get an idea that women like nice guys. It’s difficult to say why specifically, I guess it is a combination of factors. I think one of the factors is that women say they like “kind, fun, and safe” men when asked what type of men they like. Then, they see women actually like other qualities, which leaves them puzzled. Talking about some tran…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:26 PM
2

I guess an interesting sub-topic would be to discuss if those attractive traits are encouraged or rewarded. I think, these common understanding is that a boy will grow up having those traits. So, parents and education professionals want to indoctrinate all the “good” qualities. So what often happens is that a boy with high neuroticism and agreeableness becomes even more neurotic and agreeable. No one cares to cultivate those attractive qualities. Moreover, they are excluded from mainstream disco…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:47 PM
1

What are those progressive explanations? Is it saying that men are emotionally immature, toxically masculine, and similar?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 08:40 PM
34

Yes, they would want it, why not? I can draw an analogy with communication. Imagine you’re in a group of people like a college class. Not a single person wants to talk to you, but they constantly hang out together . Then, a couple of years later one person from this crowd says he or she would like to hang out with you. You’d most likely say “where have you been all that time? Nope”. A similar thing happens with men excluded from casual sex and dating. You say “Would you want the hot girls to sle…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 12:27 PM
1

I noticed that rp ideals are slowly moving to mainstream. There are many indicators. Ppd dialogues changed from “looks are not important” to “only autists don’t know looks matter”. Recently I saw an article in a cheap newspaper. It was written by a woman who wrote a book which argues against sexual revolution. She openly writes about hypergamy and high inequality of outcomes for men (she wrote one her male friends had 7 likes in total, and he second one had 21,000). It’s interesting what dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 11:15 AM
1

Absolutely. My guess is ridiculing comes from that assumption that all normal men constantly sleep around. I wonder what makes people have this obviously incorrect assumption in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 11:02 AM
1

Well, I’ve seen this statement countless times here. Many women think that they don’t like many men because men are generally awful, and not because they themselves are picky. It’s rare to see a woman who’d admit she’s actually picky. As for the rest, I’d say we don’t usually choose whom we like. Don’t women fall in unreciprocated love too? I guess it happens to men more often because they like many women while women like few men. Also, because a woman has to just like a guy to get him typically…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:09 AM
2

I benefited from pua and red pill, welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:52 AM
1

An article posted on menslib was one of the things that motivated me to write this post. It was about lack of dating discussions aimed at men in mainstream media. I suppose the reason is that same assumption that an average man has it perfect with women. So, it forces discussions about dating underground. A side effect is that it creates a discourse biased towards women. I don’t like that argument about cheat codes. As a man, you have to initiate things. Many men do not know how to do it. If I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:50 AM
1

Nope, many upvotes are from men. There is a constant battle here where men say that women are too picky and have high standards, and women reply that all the men are just ugly and unkempt.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:30 AM
3

Thank you for phrasing it this way. Usually the same idea is phrased as “All the men around are bad/unattractive “.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:25 AM
2

I cannot say I had enough observations of that kind to conclude anything. I think, I noticed that certain women look for men they'll experience some problems with. They have an intention for it. I mean, they often find controlling, abusive, or cheating men. It seems their attitude is something "All men are bad, I select a bad man, no surprise he's bad because all of them are bad". You describe pretty sophisticated consequences for the women: they had a bad relationship with the father, so their …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:04 PM
5

My father was in the family, but did not participate in family life. Can you elaborate what patterns did you notice?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:39 PM
1

It is an oversimplification that boys just go online and bad guys teach them bad things. You see the reason that boys find things like rp is quite easy. If a guy’s not particularly gifted, he encounters the problem of how to get girls. Mainstream advice is not the best thing. It invalidates their problem saying that normal guys don’t have problems with girls. Then, it offers poor explanation of women’s attraction and, consequently, poor advice. I started reading manosphere when I was about sixte…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:43 AM
37

I think you misread what guys read. Are you concerned about the comments that women have too high standards? Imagine a world where men would be interested only in 10/10 models. Wouldn’t you tell them they are not particularly realistic?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:28 AM
1

I think it’s some kind of a niche thing that’s not interesting for me, that guy and practically anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 01:55 AM
1

It’s stating what you said previously, but in different words. You seem to know how dating for men is. How do you know that a regular guy has no problems attracting women? How do you know he only needs to try?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 09:30 PM
2

I’m interested how did you conclude that regular guys do not struggle with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 08:04 PM
1

I get it, but not in the case of dressing sexy and applying make up for yourself. For me dressing well is a means rather than a goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:36 PM
6

That sounds very alien to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:34 PM
3

Women generally don’t have a good understanding of men unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:39 PM
1

What did you expect men to reply?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:54 PM
2

Haha, not bad too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:21 PM
2

That’s nice it works for you but I cannot relate even the slightest. I understand looking good for someone, but for myself… it’s weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:13 PM
3

May be because women’s value is in what they are and men’s value is in what they do. If I dressed well and sit at home my first thought would be “why do you waste your time. Back to work!”. But even I myself feel it’s a lame hypothesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:09 PM
6

Yes. I guess if there was no women, guys would walk in something resembling military uniforms.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:03 PM
8

I kinda understand what you mean but I don’t really get it. To me it sounds like “I like to tie and untie laces on my shoes without going out of my house”. I get that someone may enjoy it, but why?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 04:31 PM
7

No. It actually interests me why women do all this stuff even if they are not looking for a man. A woman may be in a dead bedroom situation and still do the nails, hair, and wear sexy clothing. I don’t get why one would put effort in appearance if they aren’t going to sleep with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 04:05 PM
–

Fountain pen my friend
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:43 PM
3

Well, I don’t read it in his post. I see that he observes a pattern - women stuck in situationships. He found (probably wrong) explanation why - they are dating guys above their level. Many comments grouped together form a standard salad of points - he’s a loser with women, he’s entitled, he’s whining. Do you think it adds something to discussion? I wonder what the aim is of commenters like you. You basically go under posts here and say “you stoopid”. What’s the purpose?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:18 PM
3

These phrases about studies are not productive either.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:40 PM
1

Hmmm, sorry I don’t read that intonation there. May be it’s my reading comprehension, idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:15 PM
2

You’re missing the point imo. OP tries to understand behavior of women. I don’t see any begging in his post. If you want to give a substantial response, please offer an alternative explanation rather than blaming the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:04 PM
1

What’s your point dude? Do you have anything to say on the topic?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:00 PM
–

Hm, not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:52 PM
3

Dude, for me “not random” = someone you know for some time. “Random” = someone you met today. It seems you argue against the conclusion while you have a different understanding of the terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:49 PM
4

First, I assumed that first you ask out someone you know. Second, asking out random people works as well. Or do you think guys pick up women in clubs and bars after getting to know them?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 11:45 AM
5

There may be people who like you, but it may be too rare. If you want some stable success with women as a man, the only way is too be hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:52 AM
14

No it doesn’t cause problems with dating. Your theory is that a man cannot effectively communicate feelings and so he has problems with dating. The problem with dating for men is that no one is interested in you. Seriously. Imagine you’re a guy in a uni. You like several classmates. You ask them out, they say no. You approach women in clubs and bars, they say no. You use tinder, and get 1 match a month that doesn’t respond. How is communication of feelings related to it?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:49 AM
2

In my personal experience, communicating your feeling is quite pointless. So I kinda have stopped doing it since the age of 10-12. You see, the reactions of people to me having feelings are like “you feel what? You better feel normal right now”. If I talk to my parents about my problems, they say that I have been always undisciplined and played computer games. Once I told a friend about my fear and he said “sucks to be you”. When I’m tired my partner scoffs and is visibly discontented I lay arou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:43 AM
5

Not bad of course. In the initial comment I meant things like “go touch grass and be happy alone. Shower maybe”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:14 AM
4

Depends on the goal of criticism. Criticism is productive if it helps to clarify the situation. Kinda like scientific criticism. Bashing someone with messages like “your problems are not problems, shut up” really adds nothing and is a useless spending of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:03 AM
–

I think it’s true for women mainly. There is an interaction component for men, which I struggle to define.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:17 PM
–

Well, empathy or understanding is not worthless as you think. I suppose you are a woman ad you said you’re not a man. You are a potential receiver of male attention, so you may tell your opinion on how it is better for them to express it. Or you may tell what makes you attracted to men. If you don’t really know, saying it wouldn’t be bad either. Because the advice like “shower”, “touch grass” or “you’re a misogynist “ is just dismissive in a sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:15 PM
–

I can relate to some problems of women, like risk of date violence. It’s a real and serious problem. It would be nice to implement some solutions like background checks on dating apps. At the same time, some problems women claim to have are invented problems in my opinion. One of them is the complaint that there are no good guys. It’s simply not true. I would like women to reflect on such type of problems, but many would be reluctant, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:11 PM
–

Your situation seems to be quite shitty. You don’t sound like an enjoyer of Netflix and chill. You may ask any questions if you think my input may be helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:04 PM
–

Judging by your comments you’re the one of the most wholesome people here. Great attempt in empathy, honestly. More input from people like you would help to move these discussions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:00 PM
–

Today I remembered a comment posted here a long time ago. The woman told that she understands problems men share here, because of her brother. She said he could not get female attention and hookups like his friends, he became depressed and his life basically went downhill. Reading comments from women here I sometimes struggle to understand why they dismiss problems guys raise. It seems these problems become real problems a person can have only if a guy in their environment is affected.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 10:22 PM
17

I got reinforced my belief that women don’t really want to listen to men. It seems to me it’s an anonymous site, guys come here and talk quite openly about their experiences and opinions. Theoretically you could make a valuable input here. Instead there constant dismissal and ridiculing. Interestingly, women understand the problems guy talk about here only when their friends, nephews or brothers are affected. I remember one woman wrote here that her brother could not get girls like his friends, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 09:19 PM
–

Yes, women don’t understand men. They are primarily concerned if they like a man or not. They do not need to think about male experiences. When you choose a yogurt that in supermarket, do you think about its experiences? Do you think, “Hm, is it cold and lonely for the yogurt to stay in the fridge for the whole day? Will it be happy to go home? Does it feel well in my shopping bag?”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:55 AM
2

Economy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:47 PM
2

Most men are loyal. Well, at least men I know. Why men want to sleep with many women? 1) men like sleeping with women 2) in the context of relationships, the woman may lose interest in sex over time. So the guy looks for a woman who wants lots of sex with him. I mean, if women typically would bang their husbands every day, the number of men cheating would decrease severely.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:47 PM
–

Mhm.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 10:55 AM
1

Male bosses can certainly may have female protégés whom they allow to do whatever toxic shit at the workplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 08:56 PM
5

The fact is friends with ceo is more significant that he’s a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 08:14 PM
–

What if men who live longer (read: good income) are more prone to marrying?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:29 AM
1

Good analogy imo. It doesn’t really catch the whole situation. The problem is women sometimes want commitment and sometimes don’t, while men are pretty much always open for sex. However, this analogy is as close as we can get to the description.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:27 AM
–

Well, I think people who say things like that are quite lazy in their thinking. They replace the actual question “what to do to make your son romantically successful?” with the question “how do you not raise an abomination?”. Then they think they’re right. They base their thinking on the assumption that normal men are very successful with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:19 AM
–

Well, speaking from personal experience - I didn’t spend all the time playing games. I didn’t have anything to play games on until the last year of school. It didn’t make me popular among girls. Life is more complicated than being a simple package like gamer+unsocial+romantically successful or busy with life+social+romantically successful. What would you rather do? Rather think of a normal boy who has no success with girls and think what you’d say to him. It’s a more difficult problem than imagi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:13 AM
1

I guess this impersonal attention is important in a sense that it opens the door for you to get attention based on personality. Just to give you an example. My female acquaintance was locked out of her Airbnb in a large city she visited on vacation. She needed to wait for 6 hours for the host to arrive and open the door for her. So she hung around for the time being. She met a company of international students and spent time with them. They welcomed her into their company, bought her some food a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:00 AM
1

No one is to blame strictly speaking. Dr psych mom, a couples psychologist, has a theory on why deadbedrooms happen. She says women generally have low/no libido. But when they fall in love, their libido increases. This continues through the honeymoon stage of the relationship which is typically 1-3 years. After this, their libido goes back to its usual level. I think this explanation is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 02:58 AM
2

Well I didn’t have much of success when I was young. So I think I’d put a lot of efforts in ensuring my son would have some success. So of course I’d be concerned if he still fails.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:37 AM
11

Yeah, yeah, sport and activities. Not a guarantee it would help them with romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:34 AM
4

Great answer for assuming responsibility. Not so great for a limited view on the reason of dating struggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:32 AM
1

I guess it’s not important that there may be different winners. Returning back to that animal analogy, men like women like people like cute animals. They just like women around. If men are compared to animals, women like those that run faster, jump higher, sing louder, and so on. Yes, women don’t generally need to earn attention. Sorry, I don’t see how your examples show that women need to earn attention. You tell that men would like women to watch them doing sports or their hobbies. How is that…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:23 AM
4

Probably you do, but I think it’s not typical for women. In my opinion, generally women like men who are winners and men who do stuff for them. Women put a lot of performance expectation on men. Hence, men have this anxious thought of not being enough for a woman or women in general. I suppose there are far less women who think they are not enough than men who think that. Same story with doing stuff for her. I’ve never seen a man who complained that a woman did little at their date. Like, men do…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 03:00 AM
2

Well, you (or someone else) will probably find a way to twist my words, but here are my 2 cents. I like women. I like when women are around, when they talk, laugh, and emote. Probably the best analogy for this feeling is the way people like cute animals like cats or rabbits. You just like when they are around and do stuff. You don’t put performance obligations on them. Like fish doesn’t notice water, you don’t see this around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 02:08 AM
2

I’d say no. First, there are physically attractive women. Then there are attractive women with a compatible personality. However, it doesn’t really matter how a man categorises women. Dating for a man is more about what he can afford rather than what he likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 03:19 PM
-1

Ok, so that’s how it works according to Dr Psych Mom (I tend to believe she has the correct understanding of this). She says women generally have a low libido. Generally, they want some sex around ovulation. Then, they fall in love with a guy and their libido becomes much higher and matches average man’s libido. She wants to have sex all the time with a man she loves. However it lasts for honeymoon stage only, which is 1-3 years. After this, she returns to “around ovulation only” mode. The end o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 03:16 PM
6

You have no problem with attracting women, ok. Other people have a problem with it, so they discuss it. What’s so confusing about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 05:57 AM
4

Difficult question. The closest thing is probably James Bond.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 01:07 PM
1

What else would you like to see? “Everyone is unique, so we can’t make any conclusions”? That doesn’t add a lot of nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 06:55 PM
1

I’d say both. Many offenders don’t care. At the same time, there are enough of those who are too stupid to understand. Sometimes people misread the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:46 PM
–

So what? It doesn’t mean they push for interests of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 10:01 AM
–

Lots of people in my circle make over 100k. But it’s not easy and requires substantial luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 10:01 AM
–

Political representation? Hard to believe. Politicians represent all sorts of interested, and I do not see them pushing for male interests specifically. Do you have examples of male interests being pushed? Higher earning potential? I know many successful professionals, and I do not see that men have any advantage. The only thing that comes to mind is pregnancy, which limits earning opportunities. Medical testing? Depends on your view. It can be said that men are viewed as disposable, so they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:53 AM
–

I’ve seen comments here telling that the world is built for men, men have privileges and so on. Can you tell me how’s the world built for men? What are he privileges? I’ve never felt that world is built for me somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:38 AM
–

Same experience. “How are you this week? Bad? Ok, now pay $100”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:35 AM
–

If it was that easy, more than 15% would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:33 AM
–

Imo, she has quite an objective view on relationships. She writes primarily about long term relationships though. I’d be interested in what she’d say about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:24 PM
–

Seriously, take a look. For example, she dares to say it’s normal for men to want sex in relationships and that problems with intimacy are not necessarily caused by the man doing something wrong. Big progress compared to the majority of relationship specialists.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:22 PM
–

What do you think are main mainstream ideas about dating and sex? I started writing a list of ideas, but I think it can be summarised as one general principle: men are generally not enough and constantly fail women, but at the same time they have no difficulties with attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:19 PM
–

If you’re interested in relationships between men and women, I’d suggest you Dr Psych Mom podcast and blog. She is a couple’s therapist and offers quite a fresh perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:10 PM
–

Found an interesting article that discusses that there is little mainstream writing by straight men about dating. Never noticed it, but it’s true. I think it tells some interesting things. First, it’s shameful for men to have some problem with attracting women. I guess it stems from the commonly accepted narrative that a “normal” man has it perfect with women and only male abominations may experience any problems. Second, a there is in fact information about dating for men in manosphere. Interes…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 04:52 AM
–

It’s not bad in some abstract injustice sense. It’s disheartening for guys women are very picky, so the guys have little chance. A woman may be average and still be liked by men. A man needs to win a genetic lottery to be considered attractive. Also, the problem is that men have to approach. Imo, it’s a crazy system that people of the gender that is liked less (so, it has less choice) have to approach and experience lots of rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 03:54 AM
–

The idea that a normal man can’t have any struggles with attracting women must be gone. I think the default image is that a “normal” man has no problems with casual sex and dating. According to this image, if a man cannot get a date, he must have an awful flaw. It may be his hygiene or total lack of social skills or misogyny. I know some normal men who have difficulties with women. They have a job, they don’t stink, they aren’t jerks. Guys, who have success, are higher than normal in looks, game…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 03:39 AM
–

Read an interesting tweet from rob henderson. He brought up this stat that a large share of men doesn’t approach women. He says we had a wrong mental model of young men. “The wrong mental model says that young men are natural risk seekers and will naturally want to approach (and possibly harass women)”. Well, I agree with it. All these efforts in disciplining men scared them further from approaching. He later continues on with the idea that modern men became lazy. Well, let’s see when people wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 12:51 AM
3

I’m talking about a different topic than discussing players. When people discuss thing here, women often have say something like “Ewwww, you want casual sex, how disgusting”. You’d conclude from these statements that women see casual sex as awful and would never participate in it. Apparently no, the responses are “I was just horny and slept with a guy”. So, it’s kinda a double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 03:32 PM
5

Reading these comments, I start to think that women are prone themselves to certain thought and behaviours they claim to dislike in men. Women here often blame men for separating sex and liking someone and wanting to have sex for the sake of sex. At the same time they see no problem with doing it themselves. I was always surprised when women ridicule men for “wanting to get their dick wet”, because (at least for me) even casual sex is more than that. It seems women are pretty okay about getting …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 04:21 PM
1

Well, of course you don’t get what you want immediately. But if you aren’t close to getting what you want over a long period of time, something is wrong. I think that I got really lucky. Once again, if I become single tomorrow, I would not really know what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 08:54 PM
1

At one point I thought I’m one of those people who can’t get attention at all. I am still that person to a degree: if my gf leaves me, I will need a long time to find someone interested in me. I wouldn’t define struggle through having or not having relationships. Imagine a guy who was always rejected, but found a gf at 25. Will you say he doesn’t struggle with women? In my opinion such felt miserable for about 10 years. It can hardly be called a success. I suggest to measure struggle through the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 06:42 PM
1

It would be strange if I said I struggle now. But I struggled when I was young and tried to approach. I’d say a guy doesn’t struggle if it’s natural and easy for him to go out and pick up a woman, and if he regularly experiences interest from different women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:48 PM
1

I’d distinguish between socially and romantically inept. Of course a person, who has trouble ordering pizza over the phone, is going to experience problems in romantic area. But some people who have normal lives experience problems in romantic area. For example, I have a job, some friends, and hobbies, but I never knew what to do if I liked a woman. Thinking about men I know, I would say the majority of them are like that. Even if they have a partner, they were lucky to meet a woman somehow who …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:28 PM
1

You’re correct that the ability to induce attraction in other people is a separate ability from being a good partner. Further, I think being attractive to the opposite sex is a separate ability independent from other qualities of the person. It would be a breakthrough to determine what it actually is. I agree that the problem of lack in this secret ability is not gendered but I think it hits men harder than women. Men have to do the first step, so they need this ability to be charming much more.…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 02:30 PM
11

D and A.Flattered by the interest and understanding why she cut ties. But this hypothetical doesn’t seem very plausible. Why would I reject a woman I have good relationships with?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 02:27 AM
4

Why wouldn’t they be?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:34 AM
2

Why wouldn’t men be jealous? Guess it’s a natural reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:34 AM
–

You’re a peculiar case.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:59 PM
–

Well, I get the part about the internal reaction. It’s difficult for me to comprehend how a woman may want hookups but have a problem with getting them?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:58 PM
–

Many women complain that every branch of manosphere characterises them incorrectly. Everyone - pua, rp, bp - apparently doesn’t know anything about women. Interestingly, at the same time mainstream doesn’t know anything about men. I had a reaction like “Nah, that’s not how men are” so many times hearing takes from women about men online and irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:57 PM
–

Yep, that’s another reason why this situation may be uneasy for a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:53 PM
–

To be honest, of all potential responses to my post I can imagine, this one is really unexpected. I understand that a man may have problems with being a “hookup material”. But how can a woman have problems with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:46 PM
–

Continuing the topic of conversations that are repeated constantly on PPD. Another typical one: Man: “Women have high standards” Woman: “No, we just look for a kind man” M: “But women hookup with model looking or rich guys”. W: “Of course if a woman looks for fun, she’ll choose the best option. But we choose a kind and caring men for an actual relationship”. Don’t women see that for a men may perceive this as a negative situation? What do they suppose a man must think? Something like “Woo-hoo, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:36 PM
–

Huh, I have another perception of these posts. Women: “how can I convince my partner to have sex more often?” Response: “leave this impotent, he doesn’t deserve you” Men: “how can I convince my partner to have sex more often?” Response: “how dare you? You’re misogynistic in*el player abuser cheater! It’s clear you want handmaids tale if you don’t just follow your woman’s decisions on how and how frequently you have sex!”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:02 PM
1

I guess it’s fine to wait longer if it’s not something you need. I regret losing virginity late because puberty hit me early and sex was something I wanted to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 02:37 PM
3

Go read "Radicalizing the romanceless". Then, repeat after me: "Men, who struggle with dating and think about it, in most cases are not the amalgamation of all male vices like abusiveness, toxicity, controlling tendencies, and other".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:43 PM
1

I never said it’s hard for me to understand this. You guys like to invent some nonexistent points of view and then argue against them. I literally said “there are a lot of good men around, but women don’t see them because of their looks standards”. I don’t see what you are arguing with. So, the problem is finding a hot man rather than a good man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:23 AM
1

I don’t say that all men who get no matches are necessarily good. My point is that women filter out a lot of men based purely on looks. It doesn’t look like searching for good character is a priority. If women prioritised good character, they’d probably swipe right on, say, 50-80% of men and would figure out their personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 03:53 AM
–

This idea that only dirty neckbeards from their moms basement have problems with attracting women must be long gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 06:55 PM
3

What defeats the purpose of casual dating? Women date hot guys for pleasure, ordinary guys go alone until they make a career. Life goes on, no one needs to be forced. It would be just nice if people acknowledged this, that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 02:20 PM
7

There is no problem of some cosmic injustice. There is a practical problem for specific men (most of them I think), who cannot participate in “fun”. Of course, you won’t see it as a problem, because you’re a woman. Women have a difficulty with acknowledging men may have any problems. Maybe you’ll understand if your son, brother or friend will have this problem. But even this may not work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:41 PM
2

I don’t justify, I explain. Interesting comment about the past. It’s part of what I believe that patriarchy never actually existed. If men really acted like evil oppressors, they wouldn’t organise monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:36 PM
23

It probably is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:16 PM
10

Most men are not going for the hottest women, because they realize they have no chances. It’s not some irrational “fear”. As a young guy in college I could see that a sexy girl wouldn’t be interested in me because I’m not hot or rich. As a man, you have to “earn” an attention of a woman. It’s something women don’t have to do in general. You women need to just want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:16 PM
7

Not people, but women. As a man you aren’t going for the most attractive person in the room, you calculate your league. Women, sure, they can go whomever they want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:57 PM
55

You don’t really understand position they’re in. Imagine you’re 21 and you can get ANY model looking girl with a snap of your finger. If you want to date for a while, you date; if you want to sleep with her, you have sex the moment you want to. Then a Jane approaches you and says she has good partner qualities. You see her facial attractiveness is 6/10 and she has several kilos of extra weight. At the same time you have phone numbers of five women who are ready to come to you the moment you call…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:55 PM
9

I’d correct you: college guys would like to do the same thing. College girls do not deliberately chasing short and average looking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:47 PM
2

Reads like some kind of a manifesto. Care to support you thoughts with arguments?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:15 PM
2

I think, there is an additional layer: women don’t feel much relation to what they think men describe as women. On this sub, I’ve seen quite often women saying something like “That’s what these disgusting pillers think of women! Gotcha!”. While, I probably had seen that opinion may be once under ten posts. This opinion is held by probably two the most deranged guys here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:11 PM
16

Many women have wishful thinking: they expect that only men they like will approach them. It seems they believe men are mind readers and can figure out if their approach is wanted before the approach. It doesn’t work this way: either men are allowed to approach or not. Imagine that if shop assistants could decide if a person asking them something was appropriate or not. Of course , people would stop talking to shop assistants.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 11:57 AM
–

Unfortunately, I don’t save them in a folder :( I’ve seen in on twitter a couple of weeks ago, so I don’t remember who posted it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:49 AM
–

Probably. Do you think I would have a good conversation with one?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:47 AM
–

I’ve seen a study recently where autistic people were compared to people with intellectual impairments in terms of romantic success. Turns out, it’s better to be intellectually impaired than autistic by a huge margin.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:44 AM
–

Yes, sometimes things I hear from women about men sound like they are about some aliens.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:42 AM
–

Well, in my opinion, having a mental health disorder = zero chance in dating. It’s like participating in a marathon without a foot.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:36 AM
–

Just curious, has the fact you have a son or brother had some influence on your perception of men? I mean, in the context of discussing dating and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:31 AM
3

It doesn’t sound correct to me. Let’s say currently a woman likes 5 men out of 100 because of appearance. Do you want to say that if she screened for character, she’d find the same 5 men attractive? It doesn’t sound very plausible that the only men with decent character were those 5 men whose looks she liked.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:25 AM
1

Swiping data shows that women reject most men by just looking at them. If you don’t believe online dating data, just ask some of you friends how often they see new attractive people of the opposite gender. I asked some women, they say something like once a month or every two weeks. Men would say something like a dozen a week or a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:20 AM
–

Types of women with whom you can have substantial discussion about male dating struggles: - empathetic women capable of listening (rare type) - women who have a son or brother (often not even then)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:15 AM
1

Just curious- does hypnotherapy actually work?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 03:46 PM
9

Looks make a huge difference. Dating apps used to be more text-oriented but they become almost solely picture-based because people used mainly pictures in their decisions. Vibes are based on looks to a large extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:26 AM
6

There are tons of men like this around. Women don't see them because of their looks standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:12 AM
–

A conversation that repeats constantly here: - Women just want a decent person and cannot find a good men. - Women have high looks standards, that's why they reject most men. - Of course, I meant a decent person who is sexually attractive to the woman. Why wouldn't women, who complain about the lack of good men, just say that they can't find hot enough men? It's obvious that the bottleneck is hotness, not goodness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:08 AM
9

Then the only question I have is why women emphasize they can't find GOOD men. If they told "I can't find a hot man", it would make much more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:02 AM
13

I was always interested in why there is this difference. If a men is asked what he looks for, he'll definitely say "sexually attractive". Women tend to omit this part. I would make sense if women liked the majority of men: then there would be no need to emphasize attractiveness. But, women like a very small proportion of men. I think, it would be natural for them to emphasize it. The bottleneck is male attractiveness, not good character. Why would then women emphasize good character over attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:59 AM
12

That's why I told you may just ask people of both genders how often they meet attractive people of the opposite gender. The answers would be somewhat similar to the swipe data. You say women swipe on "actual potential". What is the basis for them to determine "actual potential"? Pictures mainly, which means looks. Why would men swipe on everything for the sake of matches? What are they going to do with those matches if they see no potential? I don't understand why you would rather draw some stra…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:48 AM
17

Can you tell a couple of examples of men having high standards? For men, just as the comment level above says, it's personality click, being good and loving, and sexual attractiveness. It is not that high of a requirement. Your average plane Jane passes it easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:16 AM
35

Here we go again. Women are highly selective for appearance and charisma. For men, getting a date typically is a problem, because most women don't want to even consider them after just glancing at them. You write off the majority of men before even talking to them, so no, you don't look for "just a decent person". How do I know it is not just the experience of myself and the men in my circle? We have data from dating apps for example. Women swipe right on 5% of men, men swipe on 50% of women. Ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:51 PM
–

A guy must be accomplished to have a dating life comparable to a woman's. I mean, dating multiple people, having hookups, having flings, this stuff. Hell, even to approach women freely, you need to be somewhat accomplished. I do not deny that average guys get in relationships from time to time. But dating for an average guy is waiting for months or years until a wonder happens and he meets a woman interested in him. Then, he does everything to keep her around. Most successful with women guys who…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:40 PM
–

Thank you for saving men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:24 PM
1

Glad that PUA helped you. I never practised canned material (because, let's be honest, the majority of this is cringe). I tried to adapt it somehow to make it more natural, but I could never build the conversation in the right way. As for rejections, it's an interesting topic imo. In order to feel no worries about approaching, you have to be a bit sociopathic or not like a girl that much. I read about "devaluation" exercise in PUA: you were supposed to consciously devalue the girl you were going…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:23 PM
–

Women choose, so they can have expectations. A man may have such expectations, but it's like expecting CEOs salary, while working at the kitchen of a McDonalds.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:09 PM
–

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:04 PM
–

Men who accomplish too little don't have the opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:03 PM
2

Even if he did, it was not the central point of the character.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:11 PM
–

I guess, any person who says that women look for relationships only.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:55 PM
–

Never understood this fixation on appearance. I can understand if a guy is concerned about his appearance. But women are liked by men, so what’s the purpose of constantly having procedures?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:50 PM
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Yep, it’s a lame comparison overall. A better one would be a comparison with becoming a millionaire. Everyone knows it’s possible, no one knows how exactly to make it, no feedback, and failures are punished.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:55 AM
5

TLDR: In high school, I noticed that guys are divided into two groups. One group has no difficulty in attracting women, while the other is not even noticeable. It feels like the second group is not even defined as "men" by women. I looked at all the sources that could explain why women perceive men like that and what makes attractive men attractive. RP does not explain everything, but at least it acknowledges that the division exists. I think, first I lost my blue pill ideals. When I was in high…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:48 AM
4

I dare to assume that putting women on a pedestal is natural, and manosphere explicitly says not to do that, because women don't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:41 AM
2

The shortest way to describe it would be Ned Flanders.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:28 AM
–

These two things are quite different. In education, you are actually taught. There is no dating 101 in schools. No one teaches you interaction with women. A comparison would be learning how to solve quadratic equations without any instructions. Men would be fine if there was an option to repeat some exercises 100 times and become attractive. Also, there are many conflicting messages. For example, it’s expected that a man must initiate. But at the same time we get messages to not annoy women with…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 08:32 AM
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Everyone, like all the teachers, parents and relatives. As for dating, all the women and some men do nothing and have it quite well. I guess it’s a dream for most men to live their usual life and be attractive to women. In reality it feels like a man has to “earn” women’s attention. Women don’t feel this necessity so it’s natural it’s a hard thing to relate to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 08:08 AM
3

The problem of many female posters here is that you imagine some “ppd men”, and are permanently butthurt at them. Go to a doctor and ask for some pills.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 02:10 PM
6

Wouldn’t his fathers advice become obsolete too in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 03:23 AM
1

But at the same time you know something about being a teenage girl or a woman in general. Don’t you think you could share something about it with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 03:02 AM
1

Diagnoses?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 02:48 AM
15

Yes, generally men and women are similar. But at the same time they live in different worlds.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 01:44 AM
26

I know a similar woman. She’s in top 10% earners, but looks for a guy who earns more. Also, she’s quite tough and disagreeable. I guess that even if she manages to find someone who matches her criteria, the relationships won’t last long. Two people who got used to everything being in their own way and not used to compromise won’t last long together.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:53 AM
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Yep, why are you asking?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:30 AM
–

Partnered =/= successful. A guy may be unsuccessful for his whole life, but get lucky a couple of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:29 AM
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I tried therapy three times. To me, therapy is a dude asking you “how are you?” and having a chat with you for an hour. Maybe it helps some people, but I see no point.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 12:58 AM
2

I thought of an interesting dating paradox. Women like confident men. But, if a guy is really into a woman, he’s gonna be nervous and awkward. Personally, I was the best in conversations with women I had no interest in. Talking to your crush feels like an interview for a job position with annual compensation of $1m. If you Women want to find men who are really into them, but select for those who are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 12:28 PM
2

Impressive. I don’t know many women who are that informed and concerned. Those are very untypical opinions for a woman. Can I ask what made you so involved in these topics? Also, do you think there is something correct in the red pill about dating and sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:54 AM
6

There is a no pill option.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:49 AM
3

There is a no pill option there.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:49 AM
1

What bits are good in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:45 AM
3

I read that book quite a long time ago. Her point was that pua techniques are abusive and harassment. In general, the book was a giant generalisation. Kinda, she went to a forum and so some deranged inc** takes. So, she thought the whole manosphere is about it. There was no attempt to understand why these communities exist. Her theory was that young boys are recruited by internet villains through deception and propaganda. In short “I saw a couple of scary takes online -> alert, everyone be frigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:43 AM
1

I understand the general idea of your post. However, I don't see anything that supports your point of view. Currently, it looks like "I read a book about androids -> I think men are like androids". What in your personal experience makes you think men match this description of androids? At the same time, I think there is something in this idea. I would argue that society forces men to be that way. There are gender expectations that a man must be that kind of a simple workhorse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 01:41 PM
10

Because men think that women like only top guys. It's as simple as that. Everyone wants to be liked and doesn't want to be invisible. Imagine how an ordinary guy can find a woman. First he needs to wait, because it's rare that a woman even remotely likes him. Say, he waits for half a year. Then, he maybe finds a woman who agrees to go on a date. Then, may be she agrees to other dates. Then, maybe he proves himself to her. Then, he makes some adjustments in his life in order to be a good boyfrien…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 06:54 PM
–

Being soldier… depends on the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 01:10 AM
3

Just ask a man and a woman how many people of the opposite sex they find attractive. The man will say a higher number than the woman. If you like data, men swipe right on 50% of women, and women swipe on 5-10% of men. While women have types, men’s type is usually “pretty”, and that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 01:04 AM
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I wouldn’t say it necessarily means not struggling. I’d say the ease with which the guy finds relationships or hookups measures success. Getting relationships is possible while seriously struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:28 PM
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It makes sense to an extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:23 PM
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So, in your opinion “dated several women” = “successful”?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:37 PM
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The definition of alright is a part of my question. It seems to me people are ready to label any guy had success a couple of times as “having no problems”. Usually they have little idea about his experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:35 PM
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I feel that many people, especially women, think that “had success at a time” = “doesn’t struggle “.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:31 PM
–

Exactly my point. They think “had a gf once” = “no struggle ever”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:30 PM
–

How do you know that guys who are in and out of relationships or committed don’t/didn’t struggle? One of the responses in to my comment is from a guy who has a gf but considers himself struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:29 PM
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The definition of success is the part of my question. It seems to me that many people are ready to label as “successful” a guy who got his first date at 31.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:27 PM
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Yep, probably men usually tell about their success. Probably it creates an image that they don’t have problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:11 PM
–

I have a question for people who believe that average guys have it all alright with dating. Why do you think so? Have you had any in-depth talks about dating with your male friends? Have you been witness to their successes? I suspect that in most cases, people see a regular guy and suspect he has it good in dating because why he wouldn't. Usually the point of view that regular men have it good with dating is pushed by women, who generally know nothing or little about male experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:02 PM
6

How do you conclude that the men you know have it "alright" in dating? Probably, you just see a normal man and think that he must have it alright with dating, because he seems normal. It is an incorrect approach. I believe, in the opinion of my female friends and girlfriends, I always had it good in dating. Also, I didn't complain to them or talk about dating because it is a social norm for men to pretend that dating for them is alright. It is not cool to say you aren't satisfied, because people…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 01:47 PM
5

No wonder men don’t approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 11:20 PM
9

I wouldn’t say that there is a lack of communication skills. After all many of these guys have degrees and jobs which means they have a normal level of social skills. In my opinion, there is a problem with social approval of approaching and trying. Conflicting information guys receive when growing up makes the whole thing even more difficult. I may tell how the difficulties with approaching arise. It’s not as easy as “guys may approach whoever they like, but are afraid of it”.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 11:15 PM
1

If a typical woman gets more dates than a typical men, she gets them with someone. So, there must be a minority of men who get a lot of dates. Seems like a coherent narrative. Why do these chosen guys have more hookups and dates? Must be women like them more. What may be the other reason? Also, 80/20 is not some crazy ratio. It is just one in five, which is pretty generous. I’d say 1 in 50 guys probably has a satisfactory dating life. As for me personally, it’s hard to tell. I bet every guy who’…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 03:04 AM
2

I lived some life and I know that couples exist. My point is men typically don’t have a lot going on for them in dating. In my experience, it is a problem to even get a date for a typical guy. In my experience, it’s typical for a man to have no dates for one or two years. Then they meet someone and probably build a relationship if it works. Single women I know constantly date, have hookups if they want it, and what not. You know, I didn’t just read about 80/20 and decided it seems true because s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:40 PM
1

I think the entitlement-seekers will find someone entitled if someone farted.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 02:44 PM
1

In a sense, 80% of men aren’t dating. In comparison to what the top guys have, it can be said most men don’t date. You said you see average guys with women everywhere. But you don’t see the rest of their lives. May be that guy you saw with a woman was on his first date in two years, will be ghosted afterwards, and will have no match for another year. I’ve seen men who are popular with women. A hookup for them is as difficult as going to the cinema. They have several women around them at a time. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 02:40 PM
1

When young, it’s very important. In high school or university years it’s better to be a captain of a sports team or some other bullshit. When older, earning some decent money is a not bad status as well. At least it is more accessible than in younger years. At any time, women prefer guys who are “main” in their circle. Guys who dominate conversations, are loud and self-confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:51 PM
–

Men don’t dislike women who make more than them. Just like they don’t dislike talk women. Men are less likely to date richer women, because they suppose that they are less attractive for richer women. Similarly, men are less likely to approach a tall woman, because they think they won’t be tall enough for her. What can a woman do? She can signal somehow that the income of a potential partner isn’t that important for her. Which means being more proactive in dating. As for boss babes, being a boss…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:45 PM
2

I don’t like this whole talk about entitlement. There is some agitated group of people online who are obsessed with finding entitlement everywhere. They start long discussions about entitlement even if someone farted. Is the one who farted entitled? Or are people surrounding him entitled to his fart? You guys put this story about entitlement to absolutely irrelevant questions. Do women usually want a guy who is more accomplished than them? Generally, yes. Is it shitty for guys? Probably yes. Ent…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 08:58 PM
1

Why do you need to list all these whataboutisms? What’s so difficult in saying “yes women have it much better in dating and hookups, that’s it”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 11:03 PM
3

He’s right. You just described the mechanism. Your explanation doesn’t prove it’s fair. It’s like explaining that plants process sunlight and saying it is fair. It is what it is. You need some additional ideas to evaluate fairness. For example, I would say it’s unfair, because people of one gender have to be perfect in looks or local superstars to get what they want. At the same time people of the other gender need to just want.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 10:57 PM
2

They’re different things of course, but to have both a guy needs to improve, impress, blah blah. Nah, relationships are not a paradise for men too. They require a lot of effort. It depends on each case, but relationships are no guarantee a guy would be “just liked”. A woman may like him for the things he provides rather than himself. In my mind, a woman who wants a hookup likes me more that a woman who wants a relationship. In short, the necessity to “earn” a woman’s attention is discouraging.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 09:19 PM
18

There is no CMV flair, so I’m going to somewhat agree here. It’s very vague phrase that may have several meanings and raise the questions you raised. Like many such phrases, it’s thrown by people without putting a thought. Also, it’s not that correct. People don’t talk to their romantic interests like to some “other people”. Similarly, people don’t talk to their bosses, colleagues, peers, tax officers, and delivery drivers like to some “other people”. There is a language for talking to romantic …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 05:29 PM
4

Is it that different? Guys do all sorts of things to attract women they wouldn’t do otherwise. Things like lifting, learning musical instruments, earning money. Then, the dating process is about doing different things to entertain and impress the woman. I was under impression people may clarify if they think something is unclear. You know, people would like to speak with you if you do this. My point is, it would be a man’s dream to just be liked by a woman, long- or short-term. When a man likes …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 04:50 PM
3

It’s not that different with relationships, is it? Guys are expected to improve, impress, and all that stuff. Well, you compare sugar babying with a simple liking. Sugar babying is what some freaks do. Is it comparable with just one person liking another? To me it seems strange that a woman liking a man sounds as freaky non-normal as a sugar baby arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 04:05 PM
5

The necessity of improving and working on yourself feels unfair. I guess a lot of men would like to attract female attention by just living their usual life.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 03:40 PM
–

Do we have any proof that the algorithm works this way? People write a lot about it, but I’ve seen no confirmation. Looks like an urban legend to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 01:49 PM
–

If it was only about online dating. My gf told me once that dating is easier for men in general. She told men can approach anyone and don’t feel bad about rejections.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 01:03 PM
–

Mine was not tragic, but impacted me somewhat. I was born in an insignificant region of an undeveloped country. I was study oriented and into sports while it was cool to smoke, drink alcohol, steal phones and lunch money. I got away from there but it i think I lost some teenage experience because I was extremely unpopular.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 12:26 PM
1

Interestingly, this was not my experience at all. If anything, there are many men who don’t think they have good chances. That Alex guy did a poll in his twitter and 50% of guys told they never approached a woman. I doubt we could get these results if men overestimated themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 11:13 AM
1

Yeah, people like to omit personal experience when explaining these things. Many guys may be reluctant to approach because it rarely if ever resulted into something for them. I guess the problem is that women are very picky, but men still have to approach. This insane system creates only constant rejections. In order to be comfortable with approaching, a guy needs to be super handsome or rich or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 11:09 AM
1

I think this Alex guy pushes his concepts rather than investigates what really happens. He always wants to conclude that some trait of a person leads to the behavior. He didn’t investigate if the reality has changed. Probably risk aversion is the same, but approaching has become riskier. He didn’t properly ask why men don’t approach. He has put “fear of rejection” as a possible reason, but this label may cover a lot of possible reasons. A guy may be afraid of rejection because he doesn’t know ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 11:05 AM
2

Women don’t know about this part of men’s life, so they are kinda blind to it. Since the high school I’ve seen that in order to freely approach a guy must be exceptional in looks or status. When you’re not, approaching is pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 10:49 AM
1

Haha, it’s definitely not the reason. Why would you think that? The main reason I stopped approaching is that I started doubting myself and thinking I’m not enough. It feels to me that only very attractive men can approach and not be crushed by rejections.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/23 10:46 AM
–

Reasonable
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:04 PM
–

Must be they are popular
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:04 PM
–

It’s easier to not like than to be not liked.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 01:35 PM
–

There are more men who can’t get what they want, so dating is harder for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 01:33 PM
–

Does someone seriously believe dating is not harder for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 01:28 PM
–

There are obvious reasons. It is not bad to admit true things and validation of men’s feelings. Less obvious reason is that this statement is a foundation for the understanding of dating. Believing that dating is equally easy for men and for women leads to wrong understanding of dating, which makes people give wrong recommendations and hold wrong opinions. For example, if you believe dating is as easy for men as for women, you’d think that a single guys is a weirdo. Like, no he’s normal, dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 09:17 AM
8

Of course men don’t sense on the first date that a woman is asexual. At the same time very few men would be open to dating someone asexual. I bet for most men it would sound like “I haven’t talked to anyone in five years, and I don’t care if I will ever do it again. How do you think is it a problem?”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 02:12 PM
3

I have a problem with this line of reasoning. Posts like this are always criticising the mindset of doing right things and expecting right results. What should people expect then? Ok, let’s say it is wrong to do the right thing and expect right results. What is the enlightened way then? Do shitty things and expect good results? Do the right thing and expect failure? This doesn’t make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 07:55 AM
5

Dating is more difficult for men. It’s like work for men, while it is an entertainment for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 07:50 AM
2

His analogy matches exactly what you say. I don’t know why you think you argue with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 07:35 AM
1

You’re both wrong. Low salaries and unaffordable housing is the reason. Make it possible for one person to provide for a family on a regular job and people will start having children.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 06:04 AM
1

Answer to your question: almost no one sleeps with average and below average men
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 07:54 AM
2

I got it you don’t think someone has advantages in dating. What exactly does make you think so? Looking at my single friends and friends of fiends I don’t see women struggling very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:47 PM
-5

Why is it such an issue for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:36 AM
–

Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:28 AM
–

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:15 AM
–

If you could choose, which gender would you choose for your child? I’d say female, because I wouldn’t want my kid to experience dating as a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:10 AM
1

Well, violence is an important topic, but isn’t it a separate topic? Half of the top comments here mention sexual harassment and violence. Isn’t it a separate topic from a guy’s complaint about his dating life? Like, ordinary dating and casual sex happen in an “ordinary” plane of life. Different forms of violence happen to different people, but we don’t mix it with discussions of simple daily life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 01:05 AM
3

What makes you think women have no advantage?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 12:52 AM
5

My take is approaching is not easy. There is no standard around it, so many guys are just confused on how to do it. Some guys are naturals and feel what the appropriate approach is. When approaching is discussed, people often think like a guy is able to do it, but he’s just afraid. I bet the majority of those who don’t approach just don’t know how.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 12:43 AM
-1

Well, there is a share of guys with insane takes about the end of civilisation, AI sex bots, or whatever nonsense they invent. But, when normal guys say that women are picky or hypergamous, they just try to understand how the things between men and women work. Take for example "women are too picky". Women on this sub admit that they find 1-5% of guys attractive. What's wrong with calling it being picky? It's not blame in any form. Probably you just don't see why someone would need that conclusio…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 07:51 PM
–

It's not a preference. A guy is more likely to approach a short woman because he knows women prefer tall men. Imagine you're a 5'5'' guy, and you can approach a 5' or a 6' woman. You assume that you might be tall enough for the 5' woman, so you think you have some chances with her. You like the 6' woman too, but you think she'll reject you immediately because you are too short. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 07:13 PM
15

I think men are more sensitive to rejections, because it’s harder for them to find someone new. It’s easier for women to start a new relationship right after the previous ended or at least date multiple people. Makes sense, they feel less being at a loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 09:30 PM
4

No, you must just press XX.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 01:06 PM
5

Cheat code.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 12:40 PM
15

Women I talked about gender issues with don’t care or often believe men can have any dating problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 12:34 PM
1

I think you compare to very different things. Beluccis and Monroes have millions of dollars and what not. As a reverse imagine a world in which something desired by women would be as inaccessible as casual sex is to men. Like, imagine only the top of the top women could have long term relationships. Wouldn’t women be bothered by that?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 12:36 AM
5

Well said, you understand men. It seems the majority of women are so used to male attention that they cannot imagine what it means to have no one interested in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 12:23 AM
2

So?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 03:35 AM
1

Well, if a guy is rejected by his woman, he feels the similarly, like it is something wrong with him as a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 02:26 AM
4

The problem is that female sex drive drops in long term relationships. So, the guy doesn’t see the problem, because they have frequent sex. By the moment the mismatch becomes obvious, they’ve been in relationships for several years. It’s difficult to negotiate in advance if you don’t expect to have this problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 01:05 AM
17

I have read this thread and I’m questioning if the majority of women there actually liked men they lived with. Their consumer attitude towards those men is so painfully obvious. Like, they don’t understand what’s happening in their relationships. I wonder if they are just dismissive or borderline asexual. I especially liked those comments about guys who sighed after they were rejected. They are similar to a comment like “My wife cries because I speak to her once a week. All this whining makes me…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 12:30 PM
6

Yep. Even if you find someone when you are 30, being alone in your youth mean being alone for practically half of the time. That would have its effects on anyone. I also don’t like this take about dismissing young male unpopularity, because it is the age when having active dating life is the most important.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:08 AM
2

Open the book called dataclysm written by one of okcupid founders. Find a plot with messages (=likes) per week per person. Most guys got something like 0.5 messages per week. Only starting with the 90th percentile the number of messages differs. Guys in 99th percentile got something like 5 messages per week. Also, ask any woman how many men she finds attractive. She’ll say something like 5-10%. This is somewhat supported by app data: women swipe right on ~2% of men they see.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 10:01 AM
1

I talked to a woman once who lived in a southern country and then moved north. She was disappointed by locals, because they were passive in comparison to what she got used to. She was used to “heeey beauty, lets go on a boat ride!” type of attention. She was used to men approaching her constantly and thought local men didn’t like her because they didn’t randomly compliment her. There are opposite stories as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:24 PM
1

I see at least two explanations. These guys may trust institutions, so they believe nothing bad can happen to them if they do nothing wrong. Or they may believe that these trainings are just bullshit and no one really cares. This whole topic is very muddy. There are cases of unfair accusations when the guy suffers for not doing something wrong. There are opposite cases when a harasser suffers no consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 07:56 PM
11

Good point. I think guys just understand from these trainings that a guy approaching a girl may be a big deal. No one tells what procedures and practices are, who are going to take deductions and on what basis. So they conclude “talking to woman = risk”, and just go on with their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 07:45 PM
1

The guy who wrote this quickly attributes this stat to personal characteristics. However, it’s possible the guys that don’t approach are normal, but the social norms changed. Also, he attributes this stat to fear of rejections, but doesn’t ask if guys feel they know how to approach. I bet a large share of guys doesn’t approach because they don’t know what to say and how to behave.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 04:27 PM
6

The whole post of her makes an impression that she observed or read about some male behavior, but never talked to a man or tried to understand men. I don't agree that porn is the reason of mens' passivity in pursuing women. If you ask a guy why he doesn't pursue women he likes, it is unlikely he'll say "I like porn more". Also, I don't like that she pathologises male sexuality. It seems, these comments usually come from low-libido people who cannot comprehend what high sexual desire is. From the…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 03:46 PM
11

This is a huge misunderstanding of male sexuality. It is similar to boomers criticising smart phones for every problem they encounter.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 02:15 PM
6

One of my first thoughts was that many men don’t really know how to approach. People usually think that a guy knows what to do, but he’s afraid or not confident. But it is possible he really has no idea of what to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:00 AM
7

One thing that may explain men not approaching is just not having enough skills. When the topic of men who don’t approach is raised, people often explain it by the fear of rejection or lack of confidence. I think, many men feel they don’t know how to approach and what to say. No wonder they don’t have confidence and fear they will be rejected. Also, it would be nice if that guy asked men if they had previous experience of rejections. If the guy was rejected 100 of 100 approaches, it makes sense …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 12:49 AM
3

There are more popular and less popular people, but it is very different for men and women. I think it works like that. Less popular women have less opportunities than more popular women. If measured in tinder matches it is like a more popular woman has 100 matches and a less popular woman has 50 matches. In the case of men, the difference is much higher. A more popular man has many opportunities (50 matches), while a less popular man has almost no women interested in him (1 match). That’s how i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 07:04 PM
6

People of two genders often talk past each other because their experiences are too different. Women usually don’t have a problem of being completely invisible. Like, it is an unfamiliar situation for them when they’d like sex or relationships and there is literally no one around interested. So, of course worries of women start at the relationship phase, because they are automatically in this phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 06:51 PM
2

It’s a primitive understanding of 80/20. Often people think it means that only 20 % of guys will ever be in relationship. It’s delusional o course. A more nuanced understanding is that 20% of guys are noticed by many women, and the rest are noticed by very few. When guys say “invisible” it means that may be 5 or 10 women in total would like a guy from the 80%. 20% are somewhat popular. Doesn’t it seem true?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 05:41 PM
–

I think people are somewhat normally distributed. Looking at what kinds of guys have somewhat enjoyable dating lives, I’d say that women just aim for the top guys and “normal” means “shit” for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 02:44 PM
–

How can that be true?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 01:56 PM
0

Simply no.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 12:55 AM
–

Q4W What would you say to your younger brother of college age who’d say that he has no luck with girls? Let’s say he tried approaching some girls, but was rejected every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 08:28 PM
–

There are only several reasons why a woman may have an unsatisfactory dating life: 1) unlucky with looks 2) autism 3) unreasonable standards 4) passion for abusive morons.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:07 PM
2

I tend to believe that attractiveness is distributed normally, it’s just women are more picky than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 07:04 PM
2

Well, it’s loneliness of your own making if you like 5% of men only.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:40 PM
-2

Huh, you say it like a 25 year old guy should seek for a grandma in her 80s. Of course men in their 20s are looking for women in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:36 PM
1

Proportion of really unattractive women who have no chance is very small. I know a couple of women I’d consider not attractive at all, and they manage to get boyfriends somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:32 PM
3

You’re talking about a different thing. Alpha widow means that standards of a woman become higher because she hooked up with a man out of her league. Men generally have FOMO because they didn’t get what they want when they were young. The difference is women are able to try relationships with different type of men and as you say figure out what they want. Men usually have a lot of unfulfilled desires from their past.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 10:32 AM
1

Well, I think if women liked a large proportion of men, then op’s point of view would be correct. If women told they meet at least several attractive guys a day, I would believe that only ugly guys are disappointed. But it seems to me women only notice men who don’t only have model looks, but also meet some specific criteria. Like, you cannot say 90% are ugly. I believe attractiveness is distributed normally.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 01:30 AM
12

There is confusion because women consider attractive only super attractive men, that is, they are picky. Women would routinely say they notice only a minority of men. Isn’t it being picky?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:49 AM
6

What differentiates naturals from others?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 12:59 AM
5

I have to agree with you. When women try to explain their attraction, they often produce too many contradictions.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 12:34 AM
8

Very difficult I think. Objectively, I must be somewhat above average in some areas, but I was invisible to women my whole life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:13 PM
9

More attractive women attract more men. More attractive guys attract most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:10 PM
1

Cosmetic surgeries?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 01:12 PM
–

Because new. Previously she felt excited about her current guy. Then the excitement disappeared. So she feels excited about another guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 12:39 PM
–

Women just lose their desire in monogamous relationships. After they lose their desire, they invent things that they don’t like about their partners. They just invent explanations to why they lost interest in that guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:11 AM
–

Women lose interest in a man and sex with him after 1-3 years of their relationship. That’s the explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:09 AM
5

You are being too categorical by thinking that having casual sex necessarily means to treat another person as a dildo/fleshlight.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 11:05 AM
22

Yes. Imagine that you as a guy could get any girl you want for casual sex. You could even sneak behind the scene and sleep with you favourite rock or pop star. Of course, you’d only go for the hottest women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 06:58 PM
1

I don’t think it’s offensive, but somewhat strange. First, I don’t like to be segregated. I think, no one likes. Second, we fought for equality everywhere, the old gender norms were thrown away because of the equality. Women’s trains, women’s gyms. If this trend continues, it would be similar to Muslim countries where there is a male part of the building and a female part of the building. Do we want a society that follows restrictive norma in the name of equality and freedom?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 06:55 PM
2

My point is there are a lot of guys who are relationship material, but they aren’t lucky with looks and height, and/or don’t earn enough. They are desirable as a person, but women won’t consider them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 01:46 PM
5

No, they are all too absolutist and negative. But there is partial truth to some of them. These statements are just exaggerated to an absurd. The moment you don't provide what she demands the clock is ticking for her to leave. - Can happen. You will not be helped, supported or cared for. - Partially true, more support is expected from the man to the woman than in the other direction. Relationships between humans is based on exchange of goods and services for sexuall satisfaction. - True to a poi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 01:16 PM
1

I wouldn't necessarily think that those women were at the low level of their boyfriends. Women often choose a really immature guy, while being actually much better themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 01:08 PM
29

I agree a lot of men are not desirable. I don’t agree with the reasoning. Emotional intelligence has nothing to do with it. When I hear about dating problems of women, they often say that they meet a guy, but he’s too immature for relationships. But they do meet these men, have dates and sutuationships and relationships with them. Which means these men are desirable. A lot of men are not desirable because they are short, not handsome or earn too little.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:26 PM
1

3-4 probably, man. This rating because I was almost always rejected by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:46 PM
1

Yeah, the current approach makes no sense. Women like a minority of men, men like the majority of women. When men approach, it just results in pointless running from woman to woman and lots of rejections. The reverse would be much more convenient for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:45 PM
3

It’s fucking economy. If people could have a house by 25, they’d buy houses and have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:40 PM
3

It is an honour 🫡
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:08 AM
23

People like you who criticise 80/20 are so dense. Imagine a couple, Joe and Jane. Before they met, Jane had had a couple of hookups, a couple of vacation flings, and dated several guys short-term. Guys she had flings with had hookups and dates with 5 such Janes simultaneously. Joe had had not a single date in 3 years. That’s how it works. Can I make it more understandable?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:07 AM
8

No. I mean, a small share of men sleeps with a large share of women. It means a large share of women sleeps with a small share of men. What’s so confusing?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:52 AM
4

If these guys sleep with a lot of different women, doesn’t it mean a lot of different women sleep with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:21 AM
3

Why would they? They see an attractive guy, they get the attractive guy. What’s the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:40 PM
5

I’d say they don’t care. They take what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 10:43 PM
129

Ok, I don’t know how red pillers explain it, but I have my explanation. Lots of people (like you it seems) think that 80/20 means that only 20% of men will ever be in a relationship. It is incorrect view in my opinion. I think 80/20 means that 20% of men can have an easy dating life. If they want a hookup, they have it, if they want fling they have a fling, and so on. Probably you’ve heard that at certain workplaces there is a guy who slept with almost every woman. These guys belong to the 20 or…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 08:37 PM
1

I don’t think much about myself. I think self esteem is an empty term which does not have impact on anything. If I’m going to throw a basketball into a basket, it doesn’t matter much what I think about my ability to throw the ball. In relation to attraction I only suspect I must be unattractive as I was rejected all the times I tried to approach someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 06:15 PM
1

Because of hypergamy. It’s similar to short women. Men have more chances with short women, because these women would like them with a higher probability. The same thing happens with life experience. A woman is more likely to like a man if he had more life experience. So this man prefers a less experienced woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 08:25 PM
3

To an extent. Instead of putting effort and having zero result I went to putting zero effort and having zero result. It was a long time ago. I’ve been in a relationship for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 07:00 PM
1

A bit better than average I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:33 PM
2

Well, the only thing rp has change is adding some understandability of dating for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:31 PM
1

There is a general loneliness and romantic loneliness. If you are romantically lonely (that is no one wants to be with you), no number of dogs or friends would help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:29 PM
–

I'm genuinely interested what it seems from your perspective without involving any statistics? Because without any stats it was quite clear to me women want the best men only. It’s interesting, do you personally believe that men and women like each other somewhat equally?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 11:35 AM
–

What advantagesndo men have in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 11:24 AM
1

Well, there is a lot to say about it. I’d say three types of advice would be useful. First is about what you must be before dating. Kinda, how much you must earn and how you must look. Then, advice on choosing a woman. How to check she’s in your league, how to check whether she’d like if you approach. Finally, advice on behavior. Advice on how you must approach, what to say on a date, when to kiss and go for sex. That’s it I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:57 PM
1

Are you a man or a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:52 PM
5

It is a real problem, because your ordinary dude cannot just go somewhere and find someone to have sex with easily. Most mens’ love language is touch, which usually means sex. Without sex your average guy feels unlikeable, unloved, and undesired. This makes him feel depressed. Read Dr Psych Mom a bit, she describes men well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 11:23 AM
1

If you have spoken to someone from china, they’d tell you that lack of women’s protection is the reason women there don’t rush to have kids. As for housing, I don’t understand what happens with it. 50 years ago houses were relatively cheap. Now prices are exorbitant even in shithole countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:40 PM
3

No specific event if you don’t consider being unpopular and alone in my teen years.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 06:08 AM
4

I think I need to clarify first what I think red pill is. For me, rp is a set of concepts that helps to understand how attraction works. I mean, the concepts like 80/20. I have no idea what any YouTubers say about red pill or don’t know any red pill lifestyle prescriptions. I noticed quite early that in reality attraction is different from the ideas, which I had in my head when I was a teen. At that time I started thinking about how dating works. Later I found rp and found out that rp concepts a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:30 AM
2

I think women are biased. They do not know much about men, do not learn a lot about men, and do not think about men in general. So, their understanding of men is limited by the interactions they have with attractive men, projections, and myths. If you don’t know about the other gender, only the problems of yours seem to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 08:26 PM
–

It depends on what you compare. You’re right that an ever age guy may find a girlfriend who may be more attractive. But an average guy won’t be successful with women in general. He won’t be able to have many dates, flings and hookups. All guys who had a lot of women are extremely attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:50 PM
1

I cannot say I am red pilled. Rp is just a collection of rules of thumb that explain women to a degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 01:59 PM
1

I think men and women answer differently to the question about what they like, because they have different experiences in dating. A woman always has some kind of an average guy interested in her, so she looks for something special. She can go on a date with an ordinary slim guy at any moment, so she does not mention being slim; she now looks for something more interesting like green eyes. A man has no women around by default, so he thinks about the basic requirements. If men could have a date wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 01:53 PM
0

Nah, men just like many women. It’s not necessary to look for some hidden motivation like desperation and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 08:07 PM
0

Yeah, so? My point is that a woman does not need to be exceptional (model looking hot, rich or talented) to be noticeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 05:42 PM
1

Well, your post may be paraphrased as “There are two sorts of guys. One of them gets preferential treatment. Why don’t you like that you are in the second category?”. The second-class men don’t like it because there is this division at all. Women don’t experience such unequal treatment, so you cannot relate to this. Imagine that a substantial share of women would be completely invisible to men. Only the top model looking women would be considered an option for men. You women would complain too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 05:13 PM
3

Just had a good discussion there.
/r/AllPillDebate10/08/23 11:27 PM
1

Well, I’m not talking about these situations too. I’m talking about usual long term relationships. All things being equal so to say. The problem is, frequency naturally tapers off for women, not for men. You seemed to agree with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 09:08 PM
1

I don’t like this idea that everything changes in this discussion. I like reading Dr Psych Mom blog, and she explains how sexual rejection feels for men. She wrote something like “Imagine you’re at home waiting for your husband to come from work. You want to discuss your day with him. He comes home, runs to his room and shouts, “fuck off” from there”. Like, yeah, things change, but not to that degree. Sexual life does changes, but it should not change to that degree. Men don’t run to their room,…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 09:05 PM
1

Let’s say it would be similar to a famous company calling me and inviting me to work for them for $300,000 a year out of the blue. I’d feel fantastic. Let me explain my point of view. I have an internal feeling that I have to prove myself before thinking about dating. I feel that I need to earn a certain amount, have certain things, and look in a certain way. Most importantly, I feel I must behave in a certain manner that is not typical for me. So after I reached all those thresholds, I must tal…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 01:28 PM
6

Also, I just had a thought women wouldn’t feel that different if men had a similar dip in libido. Imagine a guy tells his wife “You know, I don’t want to have sex, and the frequency you want is a perversion. I need to be in mood, so organise a romantic date or a vacation and do some chores.” The wife would be fucking another guy next day.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 03:14 AM
1

The loss of that new relationship energy hits like a truck. I don’t know if it would be better if women were always in their ordinary state. Yes, cheating is about excitement. I guess the excitement is lost because the woman at home returned to her as you said natural state. Once or twice a week may sound like a good number. But a satisfactory number for a man is the number he had at the early stage of relationships, which is constant. In a sense it is a display of love. For my male brain love i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 02:48 AM
12

The worst part about it is that women are like that in long term relationships. In the early phase of relationships they are just as horny as men. Most likely, it is the main reason why men cheat. If there is a woman who just likes you and his wife who needs a planet alignment for sex, the choice is obvious. It makes sense that sex is display of love because isn’t it? When two people meet and fall in love they don’t do embroidery or select curtains all the time. It makes me laugh that women thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:49 AM
1

Do you think wouldn’t be able to sell them otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:02 AM
2

OP, I tried to wrap my head around it and I have an idea. Paradoxically, the thought that handsome guys don’t pump and dump may be true. Hot guys just have casual sex and women don’t expect them to start relationships. So they just have casual sex. If a guy is uglier, it’s kinda implied he may have sex only in relationships. Like, women don’t consider an idea that such a boring guy may want something except relationships. So when they guy disappears, they feel deceived.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:35 AM
14

Well, somehow I was confident that those are the main characteristics girls want. As you can guess I found out they are not really that important, even less in teenage years. Gentleman behavior is welcome if the woman in question already likes you. It’s not something that attracts in the beginning. I wonder why I (and many other guys) have never received the message about other characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 07:13 PM
53

I don’t remember anyone telling me a lot about relationships. However I had the following misconceptions about dating when I was in school: looks are not important for girls girls like gentleman behavior and value good treatment girls like hardworking guys girls value when you are really into them I think those believes formed under the influence of narratives in literature and cinema. I don’t see any other sources.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 05:56 PM
1

I was never interested in those specific posts. If I rephrase your question as “Guys, did you take into account women’s preferences when choosing a career”, then yes. The thing is, men have to adjust themselves to become what women like. If there were no women, I’d probably be okay with being an Amazon warehouse worker. I do not like offices and suits, but I go there and wear one. Men do lots of things to become a viable option. We work jobs we don’t like, go to gyms we don’t like, learn hobbies…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 11:04 AM
2

Absolutely. Most responses here are “I’m not beautiful so I can relate” or “I didn’t even try to imagine it”.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:42 PM
2

Not sure if it’s sarcasm or serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 09:41 PM
1

I think “I don’t understand men tbh” would be the most honest first level comment on this thread. You (supposedly) dated some men, you’d be in a marriage in this scenario. Do you think you don’t have to say anything about men to a boy?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 09:14 PM
1

Because dating is different for boys and girls, men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 09:12 PM
5

Well, it’s surprising you’d say “dunno, talk to your father” about an important thing in life. It’s as surprising as “dunno, talk to your mother” in response to a question about work. Like, if a woman produced a son, she probably dated some men, married some, and made this son with one of them. Is “dunno, ask father” the best thing she can say about relationships between men and women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 09:06 PM
1

Why do you pass him to the father? Would you have anything to say about dating and relationships to your son?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 08:24 PM
2

Why do you pass everything to the father? Do you think you have nothing to say about men to your son?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 08:21 PM
2

One of the best comments in the thread. Others are like “I’ll send my son to school and teach him to lie laces, that’s how he will become proficient in dating”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 08:20 PM
1

Why do you think it wouldn’t be different with a son?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 08:15 PM
3

I have a friend who is very unlucky with women. He has been on several first dates and that’s it. I don’t know what his problem is to be honest. I asked women about his looks and they said he looks “normal”. He built a good career, he’s not dirty or stupid or annoying. He’s a decent person and a friend. I have not tried to help him as I’ve never been able extremely successful. I just think some men are good with women and others are not. I haven’t found a reason that explains someone’s success o…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:30 PM
2

What’s your proof? Yeah, you believe men potentially may have more success offline. Where does this idea come from? Why do you believe there is no filter similar to OLD filter in real life?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 06:30 PM
2

If you had a convincing explanation why approaching works better than apps, you could convince someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 05:33 PM
1

Not him, but I here is my opinion. I’m old enough, and my peers are all paired, so currently there would be no point of going into casual dating. As for the past, yeah, I regret I had no chance at casual dating and hookups. Why would I spend an evening alone if I could spend it with a pretty woman? Also, seeing women interested in me and even approaching me would be simply pleasant and good for feeling of self adequacy. I remember one episode from my uni. Once my classmates and I went to a bar. …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 01:22 AM
1

Let’s imagine I look like a model and everything about initial stage of interaction comes effortlessly for me. I cannot say I would treat women differently. I think, I’d approach most women I like, have many sexual partners, and try new things sexually until the age of 27-29. Then I’d get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/23 12:57 AM
1

Yes, I think you are on point with experiences from interactions with the world. I think, the experience is different because of the reproductive value. I mean, women have higher reproductive value so that’s why she has access to all these resources you described. I mean, parents would care more about their daughter because she almost guarantees them grandchildren. While sons are left to sink or swim, because if he figures out how to procreate, fine. If he doesn’t, then the loss isn’t that great…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 08:39 PM
1

Thanks for suggesting this concept of social orientation. I’ve never heard of it. Let’s fix attention on the two first definitions. What do you think are the natural differences between men and women? From my point of view, people of the two genders are very similar. The differences exist in the context of reproduction. Do you think the differences root in the different method of reproduction?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 04:19 PM
2

You are correct. What you describe is an empathy gap. It is difficult for a person with one background to imagine the experience of a person with another one. Specifically for relationships, I think that a woman usually has some guys interested in her, so it’s difficult for her to imagine that no one can be interested in a guy. Also, women don’t have to think about women as a whole, so they have no idea about their experience, preferences and desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 12:11 PM
4

Wow, another sex is not a need post. 90% of things people want and work for are not needs. So what? Should we limit our discussions to only the basic needs? You can “live” by just screwing the same screw on a conveyor for 18 hours a day, and then sleeping in a sleeping pod. Should we stop all discussions about houses, meaningful jobs, and hobbies? Also, you compare sex with money. Why? It seems like you think that having sex for a woman is some kind of a difficult labour like carrying a sack of …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 02:39 AM
1

There was no specific event in my life. Dating just wasn’t intuitive for me so I tried to figure out how it works. It’s hard for me to understand how people don’t notice anything at least slightly red-pillish. In school I noticed that most guys liked many girls, but girls were mostly dreaming about 1 or 2 guys in the group. I noticed some banalities like treating her well and respecting her are not really that correct. I thought there is more to attraction and attractive male behaviour than bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 02:55 AM
–

Definitely. I think you can meet a right person at a wrong time, and you two won’t have any relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 07:16 PM
1

I don’t think that assholes are always more attractive. I just wonder why many women choose an asshole while there are many normal guys around. I guess that’s what people usually complain about in nice-bad guys debate. Most men I know deal with not nice women because they cannot find any better. From my point of view, being nice is a prerequisite for a woman to be attractive for relationships. I wonder what is that different in many women for whom nice behaviour of a guy is optional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 11:27 PM
1

I just want you to consider the idea that you and people you argue against have different concept of a nice guy. You are define a nice a guy as a guy who thinks that a girl is going to have sex with him if he said “mlady”. Yeah, they exist you’re right. When I think of nice guys, I wonder why women prefer assholes while there a lot of decent single guys. Often these decent guys are really single (no dates), and often the assholes in question have some women around them. That’s what interests me …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 12:32 AM
1

Well, ok. Men’s main desire in a relationship is to be desired. A normal woman who likes a guy is much more preferable than a super fit model who is kinda meh about the guy. Same goes with other characteristics like facial attractiveness, income, education and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 12:53 AM
5

Well, I’d argue with some of your points. Niceness is not that cheap. It takes a lot of mental effort to be a wholesome person and to be considerate of other people. I think what disappoints people is that they cannot comprehend the difference in treatment of different guys. Imagine you have a coworker Joe who comes to work drunk and high, calls everyone bitches, and shits in the corner of your working space. But your boss loves that guy. He promotes him, gives him unlimited PTO, and pays him sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 04:02 PM
3

I’d say they dis/like it for different reasons. Otherwise you sound right.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 03:50 PM
8

A bit different I think still. Men usually don’t disqualify women easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 02:11 AM
12

Well, then it’s a question of terminology as it often happens here. Your “not enough good options” translates to my “there are many good options, I just don’t like the majority of them”. Men’s “single” differs from women’s “single”. Single women I know casually date many people, have dates from apps when they want, and have casual sex. Single men are mostly single single. Like, having no dates at all. There are some women like that but usually they have one of the problems I described above.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 11:19 PM
16

I would believe this story about non-viable options if I saw that the majority of guys are really awful creatures. What I see around me is that usual guys similar to me are often single for a long time. From my personal experience, women’s dating problems are primarily: being unlucky with looks preference for fuckbois and/or assholes some kind of psychological problem: autism or having weird concept of relationships too high standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 07:31 PM
0

As I understand, they either want an “honest” BB or “honest” AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 10:52 AM
1

They want some reaction from said woman I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 09:04 PM
1

You silly, you must approach how women want and when they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 10:20 PM
1

Any of these except for the right upper corner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 12:52 PM
19

Any.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 11:56 PM
2

Women have difficulty in distinguishing between players and relationship-oriented guys. Often they date some guys who are unbearable assholes or just sleep with them and leave. To avoid this, a woman must distinguish between attractive traits and traits that look like attractive. For example, aggression may look like assertiveness, but it’s different. Confidence is different from arrogance. What should you look for specifically? I’d say the guy must have some nurturing, and yes, feminine side. D…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 07:12 PM
7

It depends on how you define “struggling”. Many people tend to think that a guy is not struggling if he can attract someone once in a while. I don’t like this definition. In my opinion, a guy is not struggling if he can have an active dating life. For example, many single women I know have an active dating life: they constantly date several people and have casual sex from time to time. I’d define “not struggling” if a guy can have a romantic life like that. The majority of guys I know meet a wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 08:59 PM
1

It seems men like women because they are created like this. I don't think women are some kind of evil creatures. In my opinion, there are some gaps in empathy towards and understanding of men because their life experience is different from the experience of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 12:39 AM
1

I think you haven’t addressed any points I raised and just repeat mantras that everyone repeats here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 11:12 PM
2

Why are they high? I see single women around me doing this all the time. Top guys do it as well. So, it’s not like only some super small minority of women does it. So, this lifestyle is available to a large share of population. So your analogy with money would sound more correct if it was “not everyone can be above lower middle class. Not everyone can afford a house in Detroit, so learn to be glad about cardboard box you live in”. Also, you are not the top, so you are not getting hotter guys. Ok…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 06:39 PM
0

So?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 04:15 PM
2

It depends on your definition of “struggling”. Many people here tend to think that if a guy found a girlfriend, he’s completely fine. In that sense guys do not struggle. They are able to find someone sooner or later. I don’t like this definition of doing well. In my opinion doing well means being able to date several girls/women at the same time, choosing whom he likes more, and having casual sex with them from time to time. In other words, it’s being able to do what women generally do. As I und…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 12:16 PM
1

Almost everything in this post is not correct. Rp is not just a recommendation to go to the gym. Your use of the term “autistic” implies you think that autistic people don’t know anything about living a normal life. I know a couple of them, and they are not some kind of idiots you imagine them to be. In short, you stated rp is basic advice on living and that autists do not understand basic rules of life. It’s bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 02:48 PM
1

You weekly “just” post. I think I’ll write “just wear a red t-shirt” post one day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 02:21 PM
1

One post above you is the question why men sometimes behave like they need just a woman and not that specific woman. So the answer to your question is because the guy in question found THAT specific woman. Sometimes I have a feeling women want men to just read women’s minds and behave accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:46 AM
4

If she does not lose her sex drive in long term relationship, then yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:42 AM
2

Well, it’s somewhat a contradictory thing. Imagine you are going to approach only THAT woman you are extremely attracted to. She’s so special you meet another one like her once a year. But she has no interest in you. Do you wait for another year? To a degree, men have to act like they need A woman to a degree. Otherwise he may wait for a long time. Most successful guys can act with A woman like she’s THAT woman. By the way, it makes me think once again that men approaching women is some kind of …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 03:41 AM
7

I’d like women to understand many things about men. I noticed women don’t think about men in general, so they don’t know a lot about men. I’d like them to know that attracting them is not an easy job. Women basically don’t know romantic and sexual rejection, so they don’t know how it feels when you have no matches, no dates, no nothing. I’d like them to know that men have emotions too and are highly restricted in their expressions. Men feel pain from rejection too. I’d like them to know their “m…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 02:29 AM
1

I’m not sure if it it works for others similarly. So, for me the requirements for a partner are quite simple: appearance, compatibility, and some sex drive. Appearance is meeting some kind of a threshold, which is not high. During my commute I meet tens of women who are above it. Compatibility: we need to click. I mean, it happens you go on a vacation to, say, Argentina and meet a Chinese dude there and then you phone each other monthly 10 years later to discuss shit. I’m talking about this leve…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 02:14 AM
2

Well, women (men too) name things that are different from what they really like. I was recently at a party of approximately 10 couples and some singles. I overheard women discussing that height of a man isn’t that important to them. I looked around and noticed only one of 12 guys present was below 6 foot. As for muscularity, I noticed that many women imagine a “muscular” guy as a super jacked bodybuilder, while a “normal” guy to them is actually quite fit. It seems to me, many women think a guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 02:10 AM
1

It’s difficult to say without specifying what’s less power, what’s more power. In democracies 1 person = 1 vote, and it determines everything. Would you suggest 1 woman = 2 votes or what? As for your second question, I think less guys would have to overcompensate, so we’d see less male politicians, singers and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 06:17 PM
–

Because of life in general of course. Like, the nerdiest nerd will not be able to seduce the hottest cheerleader in their school.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:50 PM
1

Less support, emotional and practical.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:48 PM
1

Yeah, yeah, it’s so easy. Do you really assume most guys try to start talks to women at dark parking lots, so they have no luck? I guess the problem of these guys is more like they approach on a conventional place, but women aren’t interested or just rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 09:13 PM
1

Why do you look for someone’s fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 09:10 PM
1

Yep, only a small number of people here actually tries to understand what others say.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:59 PM
1

When you think “I have no chance of attracting that girl/guy” you’re talking about SMV. What proofs would your trad family like? Passages about smv from the bible?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:56 PM
1

Basically, women do like the best men only, but love is possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:52 PM
1

Two ways: 1) find the right woman who’ll support you 2) tell about your problems like “I have this problem that disappointed me a bit. But I’m going to do X, Y, and Z to solve it. I’m such a proactive and confident person”.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:50 PM
7

May be there were a couple of such posts. Mainly people argue here against this proposition. They like to imagine that someone wants this and fight against such opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 08:43 PM
2

What are your own thoughts an experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 06:39 PM
2

Hope it’s correct, but it feels like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:55 PM
2

Well, it’s a complex thing. I think there are two sides of masculinity. The negative side is about being stoic, not complaining, dealing with problems on your own and so on. The positive is being confident, loud, sexually aggressive (I mean initiation and quantity). I think that all men are expected to follow the negative side of masculinity, the masculine responsibilities. But only few selected men are able to experience its positive side. It will be perceived negatively if you are not charisma…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 05:06 PM
1

Another one poster with an “easy” fix. A couple of weeks ago, a guy posted here that guys should “just” talk to women. Next time someone will post guys need to “just” shower. If it was “just” easy, people wouldn’t be discussing things like RP.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:52 PM
1

Well, it would help if women understood that dating experience of men is different, and that it may be painful if a guy has no or little luck. In general, it would help if women thought more about men because often they are extremely naïve. I don’t know what men could do. It seems to me men know quite a lot about women’s experience. Probably there is something.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:44 PM
1

People are never in their best shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:37 PM
1

Every time someone raises this topic, they say about appearance routines and that’s it. What other difficulties do women have in dating? Every time someone mentioned these routines, I wonder if a person has heard that men do something for their appearance too. Also, men have to do something in other areas to be attractive. So, do you say that the gender that needs only beauty procedures for dating has it easier than the gender that needs beauty procedures plus lots of additional stuff?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:37 PM
2

Ok, so here is some explanation. There are ugly guys and “ugly” guys, and there is a difference. To begin with, there are popular and unpopular guys. The difference is the popular guy can basically think “I want that one” and get that one. Unpopular guys can have girlfriends on a rare occasion when a woman likes them. The popular guys are usually really handsome and are the minority of men. So, if you are not a super handsome men, you fall into the category of unpopular men. It doesn’t make a bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:13 PM
2

I'll print this and place in a frame. Two people agree here on ppd, what a time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:52 PM
2

Yeah, it's correct because it's my answer. While I agree in general that money shouldn't matter that much, they matter to an extent. I grew up quite poor. So when I studied in the uni, I had disposable mney of approximately $150-200. Of course I couldn't compete with guys who's parents bought them their own places and Audis. Girls in my native country have this idea that “a real guy must have a car”. I was like “what car, the average income about $600 a month and your peers are just students”. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 10:25 PM
–

Depends on the case I think. For some people it is the reason, for others it’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:09 AM
–

It may be a “non-selection” bias if the person has no luck in n attracting someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:02 AM
10

Well, people here like to discuss different concepts without defining what they think these concepts are. It seems, your idea of “aging like wine” means that those guys expect to be sexual magnet for hot women when they are 50 year old and fat. It’s obviously false. I think of “aging like wine” as of “men in their 30s have more to suggest to a 25 year old woman”. That’s is quite true, if the man in question didn’t waste his 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:14 PM
1

I think, pua is useful to a degree. I absolutely agree that a lot of pua stuff is pure cringe. But reading it and making your own conclusions helps you to understand something about flirting if you don’t have an idea about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 02:21 AM
2

Good point. I’ve seen a poll somewhere about traditional gender roles. Women from lower classes supported traditional roles more than those from higher classes. It makes sense: for a working class woman traditional role equals support, while for a woman from a higher class they equal unnecessary limitations.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 11:18 PM
1

I think, stem is a relatively new area that allows men to be successful in terms of resources and status. People who are now successful in stem, could not be successful previously. Who was considered successful previously? Violent men (military, later police), leaders (officers, politicians, managers), charismatic ones (merchants, lawyers). People of art and science were a small layer in the society. Modern society made it possible for a guy to be successful if he’s just clever. Your typical ste…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 10:33 PM
1

Yep, I get the idea about saying the first thing you have on your mind. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that for many people. Otherwise the meme of a guy, who doesn’t know what to say, wouldn’t exist. You have something on your mind, which is good enough for the beginning. Then, your first phrase is quite good. Then, you can continue the conversation. It’s natural for you that your mind works like that, congrats. Some people, including me, don’t constantly have good phrases on their minds. O…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 07:13 PM
1

I think values must be the same. You can have completely opposite interests and it won’t hurt. The important things is general agreement on what is good or bad, what’s decent behaviour, what’s important in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 03:59 PM
1

That's the kind of discussion I come to PPD for. Thanks, man. Yep, I think there is something in how different people experience life. For reference, I know a woman, who claims that no one approaches and has never approached her. I've seen her only several times, but it's hard for me to believe no one has ever approached that good-looking, extremely intelligent, and morally good woman. For some reason, she struggles with that stuff too. Well, you suggest dissecting this, which kinda is overthink…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 06:59 PM
1

The analogy means that some people (like me) struggle in certain social situations. It feels like you live an otherwise normal life, do an ordinary thing (talk to a woman), do it like other people (just talk about something), but it does not result in the same outcome (women show no interest). It feels like a ridiculous situation - you go to a store (ordinary thing), take the stuff you need to check out (like other people do), but the result is different for you (the cashier doesn’t sell you any…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:13 PM
2

No, three stories about normal people catastrophising a different situation. Practice reading from time to time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 02:28 PM
13

Rephrase your question to “what’s easier: to lose weight (eat less, exercise more) or to compete for a well-paid job”. I’ve lost weight by eating simple boiled stuff for several months. Getting a well-paid job requires a bachelors, probably a masters, working overtime, being talented and creative, proficiency is in politics and ass-kissing, good interpersonal skills, and what not. The minimal amount of time you need to get to a position with good salary is 4 years of studying and 5 years of work…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 02:23 PM
1

The two different things differ imo. Pretty privilege is what it’s called, a privilege, it’s a win. Non-chad treatment is a loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 02:11 PM
2

The first example from that page is: “It’s when your manager taps you on the shoulder saying they need a word – and your brain goes straight to I’m going to lose my job” I’ve heard three stories like this in the last two months from perfectly neurotypical people. So it’s not something uncommon and reserved for autistic people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 02:08 PM
2

As for looks, my point is sometimes your ceiling may be so low that it's not that useful to reach it. I knew a guy who is 4'11''. Whatever he does won't help him that much. As for less extreme cases, yes, one should do something. Talking is not that easy imo. Probably, you naturally can do it, so for you not starting the talk seems to be the only reason for failing. But, it does not come naturally to a number of men. Having conversations, sometimes deep ones, often did not automatically result i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 02:04 PM
1

For women: saying they look for a caring and loving man, but go for a tall, handsome, and charismatic guy who's not into her. Often this guy is disrespectful to her, and in some cases is just abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 01:16 PM
1

What if I told you that some (idk if it’s minority or majority) of guys who discuss all this stuff approached in the past, but it didn’t work for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 01:12 PM
1

I think, all this advice on approaches can summarised as “approach when women want you to”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 12:59 PM
2

If you can be dragged to the court for walking past a person, what can theoretically happen if you talk to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 12:53 PM
–

The book dataclysm has statistics on job interviews from a website where people can apply for a gig. The most attractive women get 4 times more interviews than the unattractive women AND any men. The book says that the gender of the employer does not play any role. Both men and women have a preference for attractive women. The disparity between attractive women and everyone else makes me think that “beauty standards” for women are not really standards. Clearly, attractive women just get preferen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 12:45 PM
0

Well, not receiving Chad treatment is quite disheartening tbh. Yep, it’s unrealistic, but the gap between top and ordinary guys is just painful to think about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:19 AM
2

I think, most guys who overthink, do it for a reason. Usually, people start thinking when they encounter a problem. These guys encountered a problem: they live seemingly normal lives, but women just don’t like them. All the these concepts you consider “unnecessary” appeared because of attempts to make sense of their situation. When you try to understand it, you notice some guys attract women effortlessly. Let’s call them Chads. Then you start thinking what’s different about them, so thinking abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/23 03:06 AM
8

Active role has pros if your response rate is somewhat significant. Otherwise it’s pointless hassle.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 08:57 PM
47

I remember a guy posted a comment here about himself and his sister. His point was that they had a similar genetics, but completely different outcomes in dating. He said he was learning hard in medical school in order to earn some money and become somewhat of a catch, while his sister dated popular guys and was invited to parties and trips. He was pretty envious of her.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 02:18 PM
1

Several reasons. The most important is that dating for men is similar to stand-up comedy or performing music. You need to set up the stage and perform after that. You need to tell stories well, joke here and there, and lead the conversation. It starts from the very beginning: for example, you need a witty phrase to begin a chat in a dating app. For women, dating is dressing well (optional) and showing up. If a girl approaches a guy once in a blue moon, her approach may be as lame as possible. Do…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 09:33 AM
10

Actually, it’s the shortest and most concise answer to your question.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 07:55 AM
2

Women have difficulties of a different nature and don't like when they are dismissed. I don't think you (women) like to hear from some guys something like "periods is not a problem". No one can do much about periods, but sane people agree it's a big inconvenience. As for the body strength, yes, I don't appreciate it. I'm stronger than a woman, so what? When I am judged by other people, I am not compared to a woman. The only consequence of having this body for me is that I have to lift heavy stuf…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 07:11 PM
1

I suggest a reason for you consideration. Yes, I can access attractiveness of different people. Recently I saw a woman in probably her 60s, who looked like a Queen or at least some high nobility. When guys say that an average women does not want an average guy, they mean average people of approximately the same age. A college student would mean that female students from his college don’t like their ordinary classmates. Existence of some 40 year old divorced people is irrelevant to their dating l…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 04:25 PM
6

Acknowledgement wouldn’t change anything in practice, but it would remove some unpleasantness. I think, all people don’t like when they are labelled something based on their characteristics. Like women don’t like to hear “women are bad at math, but good at languages”, I don’t like to hear how easy it is for a man to build a career or good body.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 03:41 PM
1

Nothing I think. If women didn’t exist, I’d wear some kind of a uniform, and wouldn’t care about my appearance at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 03:34 PM
1

Because people date people of approximately their age? Imagine your 20 year old nephew or brother says to you “even an average girl doesn’t like me”. An you’re like “average woman is overweight and 38”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 03:24 PM
–

I cannot say I changed my opinion about same concepts. When I found redpill, some of the things felt like I already knew them. I mean things like afbb or 80/20. At the same time, I wonder how people build some weird ideas on the basis of those concepts. When I see posts about imminent social collapse, vr porn, and so on, I think ‘don’t you want to be checked by a mental health professional’? For me, the actionable part of rp is just to accept things are as they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 03:06 PM
3

I like women of approximately my age (late 20s). As for physical characteristics, I don’t like overweight women. Other than that, any types of faces and bodies are good. A 6’3” blonde? Good. Tiny Asian woman? Charming. Masculine face and short hair? Looks good. Feminine features? Beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:07 PM
1

I don’t see what may be incorrect here. “Chasing” = pay a lot of attention to. 20% of men get extremely high amount of attention. 80% so much less it can be considered none. Do you think 80/20 means that 20% have attention from women, and the rest are never interesting for a single woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 12:28 AM
2

Of course, 80% of men get more messages in aggregate, because there are more of them. A relevant metric would be number of messages per man. Imagine an island with 100 men and 100 women. 99 men are ordinary and one is super attractive. Of all men, 99 got one message, and the 1 handsome got 50. Wow, ordinary guys got more messages than handsome.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 11:52 PM
1

It is probable you’re right|, but you post suffers from the same problems that a lot of criticisms of red pill have. If you say men put no effort in being attractive, enlighten your readers on how specifically they can change their attractiveness. Your post would be much more convincing if it was something like: “Most men don’t work on how to be attractive. Most men are A, B, and C. They should’ve gone to sources X, Y, and Z to learn how to be X1, X2, and X3. I think like this because of reasons…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/23 01:51 PM
1

I wouldn’t be that categorical as your last sentence. But I believe top guys meet hundreds of women interested in them in their lifetime, while your typical dude will meet may be 10-20.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/23 01:21 AM
-1

Yep, very real. I noticed that if I talk to people who actually listen, they tend to agree. Those who disagree don’t want to even hear or think about it. I don’t understand why too. I have a number of anecdotes from my life which support this statement. People who listen usually agree they have observed something similar.
/r/ExRedPill28/04/23 12:35 AM
-1

There are several things, in my opinion. 1) Men have to initiate, and many of us don't have enough skills for it. Initiating romantic things requires certain social skills, which many people don't simply have. I know quite a number of generally well-adjusted guys, who have problems specifically in this area. There is no school where you can learn these skills, so many men never really acquire them. 2) Women do concentrate their attention on top men. People, who think otherwise, have not persuade…
/r/ExRedPill28/04/23 12:09 AM
8

I don’t believe this is not a trolling post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 03:38 PM
14

When I hear stories about being used for sex, it’s often the same story. The girl hooks up with a dude while not communicating her expectations for relationships and has her heart broken. I’m not trying to say anything about your case of course. Just remembered a similar story I heard recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 10:38 AM
18

So, is it basically “hot guy -> sleep with him now, normal guy -> make him wait”? I wonder how much it attributes to all this talk about being “easy” or simply to the fact that a regular guy is worthless without commitment. It’s also interesting if the concept of “being used for sex” is based on the implicit expectation of commitment from a regular guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 09:49 AM
1

Using your own way of making conclusions: I see so many couples around my moderately large university campus, and in the surrounding city, consisting of generally average guys that I just believe most young men are meeting online.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 12:16 PM
1

It seems kinda irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 12:49 PM
1

Ok, men stop hot on women. What happens next?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 02:34 AM
4

The causes of addiction are biological and social. Biology determines predisposition for addictions. Social factors determine if the person acts on these predispositions. Social factors include family, romantic, friendship ties, employment and so on. If someone is biologically inclined to addictions, and finds himself in a shitty life situation, he may become addicted to something. Addicts isolate themselves because their addictions consume them, and because of shame. Yes, being healthy increase…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 02:26 AM
5

It is quite a one-dimensional approach to this problem. Thinking that video games cause a lack of dating success is similar to thinking that yellow teeth cause lung cancer. As smoking causes both yellow teeth and lung cancer, a third factor causes excessive gaming and lack of dating success. Bad sleeping patterns, eating habits, and not exercising are the symptoms of depression. Except for being depressed, they may be simply unlikeable or have undiagnosed autism or ADHD. You describe guys with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/23 01:41 AM
–

Leagues exist, but there is some degree of subjectivity. People agree on what an unattractive and a very attractive face is. The average ratings are often average, because people in the middle are often rated as very attractive or very unattractive by different people. There are “true” average people though, who are rated average by the majority. I think, men feel leagues better because they have to approach. You quickly understand what your league is in your teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 11:11 PM
–

Exactly. But it seems many people in this sub imagine their sons will be extremely popular and their daughters will have only good long-term relationships, because these people will teach them how to shower and will bring them to other kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 10:00 PM
–

Yep, good approach. People often imagine they talk to enemies here. However, I foresee a number of responses like “My kid will be normal and won’t have any troubles with dating”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 09:21 PM
3

I think, the difference is that women don't really need to achieve what people call "beauty standards". So, they are not that much of a standard but rather an ideal. A woman may not match this ideal, but it will not impact her dating life significantly. Standards for men are what they are, standards. If a guy doesn't match the standard, his dating life will be much less sparse. In my experience, women much more frequently don't even consider guys because of their physical characteristics. Many w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 11:34 PM
0

It makes sense to compare ideal male standards and passable female ones, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 11:19 PM
3

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 10:33 PM
6

Mhm.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 10:32 PM
52

Everywhere if the woman wants you to approach her.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 09:18 PM
1

Pick up artistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 07:18 PM
5

I think women do go for the top guys. Average guys just get lucky from time to time. Recently I talked to a woman, who told me about her handsome co worker. She said he “fucked all the female analysts in my department”. I haven’t fucked a department of analysts. None of my friends has. Quite an illustrative example.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 05:46 PM
0

Yep, your own thing is better. You need to begin with something to later adjust it to your personality. It’s useful to find out you need a line and a method at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 05:41 PM
1

When women are asked what they want in a man, they often list only qualities of a good partner. They rarely mention things like looks, status, masculinity, flirting skills. I know quite a number of women who say they look for a kind and caring partner, but sleep with some fuckbois.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/23 03:39 PM
1

If you omit rare negative characteristics, then yes. I think the implicit assumption is that she’s a normal adult, so she isn’t drowning in debt or enjoys killing spiders in her free time.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 03:10 AM
3

I haven’t been single for several years, but when I dated I would look for some interest from women. Long-term, short-term, no-term, whatever. Probably, men who have lots of choice, downgrade and upgrade someone, but I’m just glad someone likes me. Approaching and wow-ing are not connected imo. Changing your approach matters if you have lots of choice. If you meet a person who likes you once every couple of years, whatever your approach is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 03:05 AM
11

Yeah, also everyone knows men have 5-6 hours more in a week than women, so it’s so easy to go to the gym. Why would I criticise women for demanding athleticism from men? Because women usually don’t spend as much time in the gym. Also, because many women underestimate amount of effort a man has to put into his body. It seems like many suppose that a guy can exercise 5 minutes a day and have a six pack. The “builder” argument’s weak too. Some of my friends “build” the world by having 12-14 hour wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 01:25 AM
1

So, you seem confused about the preference for partners with less sexual experience. Let me explain how this works. A guy meets a woman who’s interested in long term relationships with him. Then he somehow learns she had an active sexual past with lots of hookups. He recalls that girls like her never wanted to have a hookup with him. So, he thinks that this girl doesn’t really like him, but likes the guys she had hookups with. It means for him that this girl is with him out of convenience, becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 01:02 AM
2

Somewhat familiar situation. First you convince men in your country to pursue equality and be milder. Then women go to other countries for “real men”.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 02:45 PM
1

To a degree I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 02:41 PM
1

My personal understanding is that rp is several concepts like afbb or 80/20. I think they’re correct or somewhat correct to an extent. It’s difficult to say what an rp guy is. It depends on whether he perceives rp critically or follows some creators whose delusion varies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 02:40 PM
1

I think, it depends on where the guy starts and what he tries to apply. Probably, if you are a normal dude, application of rp would make you an insufferable caricature of masculinity. But if the guy is shy around women and too careful about them, some dose of cynicism can help him. At least, pua and rp helped me in this regard. It’s important what you think rp is. Knowledge of the basic concepts may be useful. Following a crazy dude from YouTube, who complains about women all day long or wants t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 01:59 PM
14

Depends on what kind of man. You wrote “when a woman is interested in me”. For some (many) guys it happens quite rarely. If it’s often, then it’s not bad, fair. Also, someone’s ability to find sex strongly correlated with ability to date. If you have difficulties finding sex, then it’s difficult to find a date as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:36 AM
0

… or species.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 07:26 AM
2

Yes to all questions. At the same time I think many core RP concepts are correct. Also I’d say I probably respect and care about women too much. What conversations made you think men here don’t like their partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 01:49 AM
2

I hope it’s easier to understand if you have it. Could you suggest at least something?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 11:11 PM
1

Well, I won’t be as dramatic as you, but I’m interested in how the attitude towards males will change. Like, will people use genetic tech to choose the sex of their children to be female? I’ve read an article that there is such an option now. Like, I’d use it if it was available and affordable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 09:55 PM
6

I have the same conclusions about “it”. Can you guess what “it” is? Like, there are some characteristics that people attribute to romantically successful men, but there is no obvious pattern at the same time. Like, physical attractiveness is considered important, but there are many attractive dudes who are not that popular. Same with rich, status, extroversion, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 09:45 PM
0

Well, it’s difficult to believe in this 9% stat because I it’s quite different from what I see around me. It’s like hearing that people start college at 26 on average. Also, how is ‘young’ defined in this study? Is it 18-30? I’d say these stats may probably be fair for late 20s - early 30s. For college/university/young work ages, it’s hard to believe they’re realistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 04:06 AM
2

I wouldn’t say all, but probably the majority. Like, 70-80% of single women whose romantic life I know something about. It’s difficult to believe in this 9% stat.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 03:52 AM
1

Something casual like jeans+T-shirt or a hoodie.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 09:19 PM
6

Sorry, I couldn’t figure out what your exact questions is, so I’ll answer something like “Why men have trouble deciding if they are unattractive”. 1) Women don’t approach you, so it’s more difficult to evaluate your level of attractiveness. 2) A lot of male attractiveness is non-visual. It’s easy to find a picture of an attractive face and body, but find me a picture of a “vibe”. 3) As a man, you have to do something if you like a woman. If you fail, there is always a possibility you’ve done som…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 11:33 PM
3

There are people who are not just unattractive, but physically repulsive. There is nothing surprising about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 01:00 PM
10

There is some element of truth in this opinion. Yep, there are average guys who have partners. But, the experiene of an average guy is not comparable to experience of top guys (tall, handsome, rich family). Top guys bathe in female attention in comparison to ordinary dudes, who find someone attracted to them once in a blue moon. It is difficult to feel yourself adequate if your success rate is close to 1%. Yeah, you can find a partner, but you stil are generally unattractive for women. So, I had…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 11:50 AM
2

Original RP is just a set of concepts with some explanations. Some dudes called creators (none of whom I’ve ever watched) propagate for lifestyles or social ideas based on these concepts. These dudes may form something cultish. Like, I see nothing harmful in the concepts themselves. If someone goes too far and promotes trad conservatism on their basis, it’s their problem. If someone else listens to those people, it’s their problem as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 07:35 PM
3

Unexpectedly intellectual discussions on PPD today. In the past hypergamy was mitigated because women had to choose between a high status man, who won't provide, and a more realistic option of an average dude, who would stick around. Currently, many women are the "average dude" for themselves, so why not just have children by a high-status man? So women become interested mainly in exceptional men, and the average ones are not needed. Yep, it's a huge L for men. I can see why many men would check…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 06:44 PM
3

Yep, it’s difficult to figure out the main cause. My point is that low incomes themselves do not contribute to dating problems currently. On the opposite, they motivate people to pair asap. Social media plays little role in this as well. Social networks are just a form of entertainment. In my opinion, people overestimate their influence on anything. Speaking of economic things, I think that little difference between income of men and women plays the major role. I listened to a Modern Wisdom epis…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 05:41 PM
7

While I completely agree with you that there is a dire economic situation (unlike a couple of “hard-working” boomers in comments), I think dating is not affected that much by it. I’d say current economic situation encourages pairing. Imagine an opposite situation: the world magically becomes a place where a majority (say, 80%) of people can allow decent living on their own. That’s when they would stop pairing. Men wouldn’t be able to compensate their lack of looks, status, and talent with their …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 03:34 PM
1

_^
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 04:55 PM
2

*You’re
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 04:25 PM
2

Probably it tells something about social norms, or sex psychology, or evolutionary stuff. Possibly, women value commitment, and romantic stuff is basically some resources spent on commitment. Men aren’t that interested in commitment so they value this stuff less. Possibly, men are too used to competing. Possibly, we are taught to expect nothing like romantic things.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 11:46 PM
0

I was asked this question a couple of times but could not find an answer. In my mind, romance is something men do to make their women happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 06:23 PM
1

I struggled with dating when I was younger. I had some long term relationships but never really dated or had casual sex. I think I haven’t figured this whole thing out, so I’m interested in these discussions.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 03:43 AM
3

I think men have high expectations imposed on them. People expect men to achieve a lot quickly and on their own. Of course people view men as a failure if they managed to live a mediocre life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 02:00 PM
3

I’m too late to the party, so I’ll keep it short. Young men are the demographics who have very high expectations imposed on them and very low support for achieving these expectations. As a man you’re expected to make everything on your own, quickly, and without much support. Of course many dudes are afraid of even starting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/23 01:43 PM
2

So, if women were picky in the sense I write about, then the nerdiest nerds would drown in female attention, not a stereotypical frat guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 11:40 PM
1

I think men approaching is quite a strange idea. I'm convinced a typical woman likes much less men than a typical man likes women. So, women have much more choice. It would make sense if a party with more choice initiated. It's like I have a lot of choice when I want to buy cookies. So, I go and select cookies in a store. Imagine it was the other way, and sellers of cookies went from door to door suggesting people to buy their cookies. Wouldn't it be quite inefficient?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 10:45 PM
2

Well, I'd consider her as a better potential partner. But, like, I wouldn't feel more or less attracted to her because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 10:31 PM
5

If a man is a star athlete and a woman gets with him after casually meeting but a man who isn’t any of that pays for a date to get with her how did she demand less of the former guy? Not the best example, but lets discuss it. An star athlete gets with her. A non-star non-athlete gets with her agfter paying for the date. Well, by definition she demanded more, didn't she? On a more serious note, when guys tell that "alphas do nothing" they mean "nothing to impress this particular woman". Like, a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 10:25 PM
2

I think, unfortunately women are often picky in another way.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 09:39 PM
3

Well, I noticed many misunderstandings here happen because people use the same words for different things. 1 - 'Men don't care about money" means that high income does not make a woman more attractive. Yes, it is nice if your potential partner earns good money. It is good if the person you are going to live with for many years has money. But it is alien for me to feel more attracted to someone because of her income or social status. If you show me the same woman in McDonalds uniform and in an ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 08:35 PM
2

Any feedback?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 06:59 PM
4

Well, I get the idea. But in my experience, guys stunted in dating (myself included) are stunted in dating only. They are able to have friends and jobs and hobbies. So bad parenting didn’t influence their abilities of forming these bonds. The main problem for them is dating specifically. How would you explain this? What secret ingredient does parenting add to dating skills specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 10:28 PM
1

Interesting ideas. I’d agree there are these two problems: parenting of boys and guys being stunted in dating. But I’m not sure how they are connected. As for me personally, I experienced both. But despite helicopter parenting I had no problems in most social situations, except for dating and hooking up. I’d say that it wasn’t parenting that made these things difficult for me, but rather early experiences with girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 09:52 PM
1

As for sexual metahpors and jokes, there are women who often use them. However there are more men who do it. Introspectively, it is difficult to say if I have some lens that impact my worldview.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 05:26 PM
2

Well, let‘a give it a go. Let’s assume this girl is looking for a guy among her classmates in her college. We don’t want her to date 30 year olds, do we? Main qualities: higher IQ, good grades, but sociable enough for making a career, morally decent, kind, good work ethics, supports others. Areas you asked about: Money: up to upper middle class. Rich people can fuck up your life using their money and connections. For the same reason, not a son of a policeman or government official. Appearance: a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 05:58 AM
1

Anyone is wealthy enough for a dormouse. But you may give your decision for every income percentile.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 05:32 AM
2

Also, can I ask you something? I'm just trying to see your perspective, no criticism or trying to catch you. Judging by you comments in the thread, you think that if an unattractive man approaches you it is something really bad and offensive (well, correct me if I'm wrong). What makes it so offensive? If I'm not mistaken, you said that it's especially offensive if he has a clear intent to sleep with you. I have so many questions. If an attractive guy (your level or above) approaches you, is it o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:53 AM
2

It seems my first paragraphs tend to be not bad. Well, agree, point two wasn't that good. Chemistry happens without social situations, but I really know one-two cases. Yep, there is a debate on whether dating apps data may be extrapolated to the real life. I suppose it can be, because it's what I see around me. As you said, people swipe right or left in real life as well. Also, there is a fourth point for you. (It must be really bad as it is quite far from the 1st paragraph). Most men I know don…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:18 AM
2

I'm flattered. In my opinion, your approach would work if people of certain look levels paired with people of their looks level exclusively. Like, a 5 would pay attention to a 5 only and would never considered a 3. The first issue with this idea is that looks categories exist, but are somewhat fluid. The majority of people agree about really ugly and really beautiful people (everyone rates a 1 as 1 and a 10 as 10). The problem is with average ones. A 5 gets his/her grade as 5, because a part of …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 12:28 AM
3

Well, it is better to be precise when speaking about these topics, because people have different understandings of the same words. Once, I argued with a person here only to figure out that we agree in principle and just defined the "cold approach" differently. So, I'll answer the question "Why a woman should not label an unattractive man as a creep if he approached her in a polite and no-pressure manner?". In short, because "creep" may be a serious accusation, and because it's impossible to avoi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 09:39 PM
2

I don’t think online and offline behaviour is that different. All of us swipe right or left on people we meet daily. Also, I think that online dating influences decisions in offline. I mean, whatever your gender is, why would you bother with someone average if you could quickly find someone better online? I started thinking that there is some inequality in attraction before online dating was a thing and before I learned about RP. Yep, I agree that a woman with normal expectations would find some…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 04:22 AM
9

Strange pattern, isn’t it? -_- Why wouldn’t you date a guy who is more like your friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:58 AM
17

Depends on what kind of man you ask. Attractive guys probably enjoy dating, because it’s easy and fun to them. For unattractive ones dating rarely happens and consists of mainly women rejecting them or giving them a chance. Of course they don’t like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:56 AM
6

Everyone looks for some motivations like governments caring about birth rates or corporations concerned about profit. What if it is just unusual and strange? People would be concerned if suddenly 60% of women became single. Or if 70% people stopped using fridges. A large share of single men is just unusual. It brakes people’s stereotypes about life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 08:34 PM
5

Well, I'd like to know why too. I do not have a theory about it, only some hypotheses. One of the main reasons is online dating I think. Previously women didn't know how popular they really were, because they were not approached that frequently. Probably, many were open to considering most guys who approached them. Now they see an ordinary guy either online or offline and think, "I can download a better date prospect from tinder in 10 minutes; why would I bother with him at all?" Another thing I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 06:33 PM
7

I talked once with an unattractive woman about that, and she was deeply concerned because of lack of any male attention. I think, there is some minimal level of lust any person would like to cause. Women receive much more, so you just don’t notice it may be pleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 04:13 AM
2

Interestingly, women are disappointed if they are not listed after.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 03:06 AM
6

Too little lust is just as miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 03:03 AM
3

Women are not that happy to message the 80%. In short, the 80% of men got the majority of messages. But that’s because they are the majority. A better metric is messages per person, which is not significantly different from zero unless a guy is in 95th percentile. “Women are sleeping with the top guys but date uglier ones as well”. Wow, uggos are cured.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 03:01 AM
1

OkCupid creator who wrote cataclysm stated that they have thresholds. He said a 6 would be suggested to match with people from 4 to 7.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 02:56 AM
2

We somewhat can. Almost all people evaluate the most attractive and most unattractive people similarly. Average faces have a lot of variation in evaluations.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 02:54 AM
8

I think it's pretty easy to answer this question. There are two possible explanations: 1) either there is an epidemic and men suddenly collectively became too stupid for having a life 2) or men are alright, but it’s not enough for women. I don’t see that every second man around me has 15 IQ and is unable to have a normal life. So, I conclude, women are just not satisfied with what normal men normally are. To add some detail, I somewhat informed how (many I know about) women discuss men. Accordin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 02:48 AM
1

Probably, there is something in experience of those guys. They get a lot of rejections, while girls get a lot of invitations to dates. What's surprising about it?
/r/ExRedPill07/03/23 01:04 AM
4

Glad to know I'm not the only one. I really struggle to understand what he tried to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 12:41 AM
2

Would be interesting if you share what onclusions your paper has. What get me in: didn't have any success with girls whenn I was young. Started reading PUA, which, I need to say, helped me to a degree. When reading PUA, I found TRP, and some of the theories they had seemed correct. I didn't get in seriously, so I didn't have to get out. RP is still a number of concepts, which are correct to a degree.
/r/ExRedPill07/03/23 12:38 AM
5

I’m not sure what the point of you post is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 09:51 PM
1

Well, I am quite annoyed by this whole n-count topic, becuase it seems pretty simple for me. But anyway, here is my humble opinion. First, let's exclude extreme promiscuity from the discussion. I think, both men and women would would be cautious of a person who had hundreds of partners. Second, let's exclude obviously insecure guys. I mean, if a guy feels weird because his girlfriend kissed a guy in hich school 5 years ago, he obviously has some spychological problems. As for "normal" promiscuit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 03:04 PM
3

If I would suddenly become single, in general I’d have nothing against dating women of around my age. However, I noticed some women in their 30s look for “a husband”. I’d filter against it, because I wouldn’t like to be “a husband”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/23 02:50 AM
3

Well, I think your edit is on point. I understand your bf, because I was quite similar to him when I was young (it seems), and some of the things from RP and PUA helped me. The problem is that some people just turn those ideas and recommendations into some kind of a belief system. They start talking about the imminent social collapse or try to propagate a toxic lifestyle like Tate (although I never really was interested in what he says). In my opinion, it happens, because female attraction and m…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:52 PM
1

Sounds true and quite discouraging.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 09:15 PM
1

Well, I've met some women with low self-esteem, and I'd say they are exceptions. I cannot say there is something in society that lowers self-esteem of the majority of women. So, each case requires an individual approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 12:05 AM
1

Well, I think everything is more simple than that. If you ask a person a question, which this person has never thought about, you'll get the most stereotypic answer. Common wisdom is men like looks, women like personality. Many people have never thought about what really attracts men or women, so they are going to parrot that stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/23 11:57 PM
1

Hm, if I have time to look through it, I’ll return to say what I think. I remember it as a more of a book on psychological and physiological mechanisms.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 10:34 PM
2

Generally they don’t. I’ve heard some funny points from different women, like “dating is easier for guys”, “looks don’t matter for guys”, or “guys don’t feel bad because of rejections “. Women online (and irl although less though) are more concerned with what men should or shouldn’t do rather than interested in what they want or how they work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 10:30 PM
2

Well, it doesn’t help if you listen to different categories of people and mix their contradictory opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 10:14 PM
1

They are directors and the actors at the same time, like Woody Allen. Well, for me accept that you won't have something and don't worry sounds like unwant or at least something similar. I just wanted to say accepting your inability to have casual sex won't lead to the good results like increase in self-esteem and less frustration. Most likely, it will be the opposite. I don't know what you exactly mean by changing directives (aim for relationships?). Well, it's feasible, but won't bring the peac…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 10:07 PM
1

Well, nothing like that ever happened to me. I didn’t become more confident with trying as well. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 09:34 PM
4

Well, many young guys face two questions: 1) what do girls like? 2) how exactly do I express my interest in them? There is not that much advice on it, and the things he hears are quite contradictory. It doesn’t make it simpler that things they see around them contradict this advice as well. So, they find red pill, which provides at least some framework for them. Some of rp and pua concepts are useful, but that’s it. Unfortunately, many guys get addicted to different rp creators who just try to e…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 09:29 PM
6

Second this. In my experience, women have a very rough understanding of how dating, relationships, and sex are for men. I heard some funny takes on the subject IRL. By the way, what bad points did you notice in come as you are? I read it quite a long time ago, so I don’t remember it well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 09:12 PM
2

Well, I think several things changed. First, the economy changed. I think if most men would be able to support a family on their own (like in 60s), we'd have more families around. Then, dating apps. I think, previously women underestimated how popular they were, so they went for less attractive men. I suppose a woman judged her attractiveness by the number of guys who approached her, which was not that large. Now any decent looking girl can have hundreds of likes, so she'll reject an ordinary gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 08:19 PM
1

Ok, so I had some life to live in the past weeks, but I’d like to return to the conversation. Also, spent some time thinking about your ideas. You consider the effort women put in their appearance to be an indicator of importance of looks for them. I do not conclude that looks are more important for men, because I think they put more effort in them. I just see that men are rejected almost constantly and get almost no interest from women if they are not really handsome. I think, the graph I menti…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/23 07:55 PM
2

Yep, even your question repeats here fro time to time. I visit this sub, because sometimes people post an actually interesting topic. Also, it is interesting to discuss things with several people from here, who can comprehend a point of view different from theirs and do not push their agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 07:20 PM
2

Huh, interesting. I knew a girl who was friends with guys from a pua group. She tended to be demisexual too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 09:28 AM
2

It seems your assessment is correct, and gender disbalance explains the whole thing. But your advice to just "unwant" casual sex is not realistic. If only it was that easy to "unwant" something. Before discussing it, I’d like to add a little bit to your “looking for casual sex” metaphor. You are correct that there are only 5 women in that room. But the next day there are 5 other women in this room, they select the best guys as well. Over time, it becomes exactly “only five guys slept with all th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 07:56 PM
1

As for work places, I don’t notice preference for men as well. Events for female graduates organised by different companies make me think that it’s not men who are preferred. Being in tech is a double edged thing. On the one hand, high salary. On the other hand, it’s not ‘cool’. At least not as cool as some other professions. Height is an interesting thing as well. I’m not sure if being tall makes you attractive or if being short makes you ugly. I think, women can tell better.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 01:44 AM
1

At least for me, being expected to approach is more of a headache than an opportunity. Well, I have never felt “encouraged” to approach women. Can I ask you how you imagine “encouraging” practically happens? The message I got when I was young was “never express your interest in a girl unless she wants you to do it”. I’d say men are expected to initiate but not encouraged in any way. It kinda places you in a weird spot. You are expected to approach a right person in a right way, but you don’t kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 01:36 AM
0

You listed many correct things, but I cannot agree with the first one. I think, the presence of female nudity everywhere (and existence of the whole sex industry) is just exploitation of male sexuality rather than catering to it. I remember one woman told me she envied that there are so many things for men like pornography, strip clubs, and sexualised images of women everywhere. When I asked her if she would buy any similar products or services (adopted to the female audience) she said no, becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 04:34 AM
1

Wow, thanks for being one of those women who doesn’t think that old men just give jobs to young guys because they are guys. A couple of comments though: - being in tech isn’t sexy - social expectation that you initiate, height, and a good job doesn’t necessarily make you more confident with the opposite sex
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 04:15 AM
3

Sorry, but I had a good laugh at many things you mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 04:03 AM
2

I have seen these graphs by TechCrunch, and they look a little bit confusing. These distributions measure frequency, i.e., which percentage messages a category of guys received. If a category is large, naturally it receives a large number of messages (even if the individuals in those categories received small number of messages each). To make it clearer, here is an example for you. There is a village with 100 men and 100 women. One guy is super-mega-sexy, and the rest are ugly. They all register…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 08:59 PM
1

I think, personal qualities that men value in women are the qualities which describe "a morally good person". For example, some of these qualities are kindness, loyalty, warmth, nurturance. Everybody knows what a "good" person is, so these qualities are easy to identify. It's the reason they are not discussed much. On the contrary, qualities that are attractive in a man's personality are not that obvious. Is confidence a characteristic of a good person? Seems, it isn't. Strength? Stoicism? Asser…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 05:35 PM
28

One of my close friends (early 30s) has been single forever. Also, I knew several guys like this, who were friends of my friends. I think the main reasons "normal" guys who fail at dating: 1) Looks. My friend I mentioned has unattractive face. He used to put a lot of effort: used dating apps, went to speed dating events, asked out women here and there, but it's very rare someone agrees for a date with him. Another example is a guy who is around 5 feet tall. Great soul, but most women laughed abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 05:09 PM
7

He has a point taking into account the context in which you placed your idea. It seems, you assume that men complain about "standards", because they have to do something else except for having a paycheck. I think, men complain mainly about the looks standards, which are important for the initial attraction. You simply talk about the different sets of standards. In my opinion, this misunderstanding exists, because women and men view dating from different perspectives. For women, dating starts at …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 02:37 AM
13

Wouldn't it make you uncomfortable if men considered a certain immutable characteristic of women a dealbraker? Yep, also they would consider a woman attractive only if she is in top 15% by that characteristic. Imagine guys would consider 85% of women as 'meh' only because their breasts are not large enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 10:46 PM
39

Another side of it is that abusers, narcissists, and aggressive people also have high confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/23 08:06 PM
2

Had a dialogue like this: - Hi, I… - fuck off
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 11:01 PM
9

Well, have you ever heard women discussing appearance of men? In my experience women appreciate physical attractiveness, but the threshold is higher, like literally guys with model looks. Let’s assume women don’t pay that much attention to looks. Then what are you going to improve? Personality is as easy to change as height is. It’s rigid and many traits are inherited. If financial situation was easy to change, median salary wouldn’t be 50k.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 03:41 AM
1

I apologise as well: there are too many hostile interactions on this sub. why do you think the looks requirement is higher for men? Several things. First, I believe women are quite picky, because of that okcupid study, tinder swipe rate statistics, and my talks with friends. I asked several people of both genders "How many attractive people (whom you'd like a date or casual sex with) do you meet in your daily life?". Men say numbers which are much higher than what women say. Imagine several guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 03:09 AM
14

You see average couples, but it doesn’t indicate a lot. You never know what dating experience of a certain person is. I know many people with good jobs. From the outside it looks they always had it good with employment. But if you talk to them, some couldn’t land any job for a couple of years, some spent much more time than average getting into a good job, and some of them feel they can be fired at any moment. Women swipe on 5% of men, men swipe on 50% of women. Do you really need something else…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 02:44 AM
5

Yes, it's one of the problems men have in interactions with women. There are tons of other though. Interestingly, women could appreciate if a guy is acting more awkwardly and less confident around them. It indicates the guy really likes you. Women say they often have difficulty distinguishing between a seriously interested dudes and those who just want sex. But they would prefer confidence ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 10:23 PM
2

It seems your post implies that guys, who have troubles with dating, would answer "no" to these questions. Can I ask you why do you think so?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 05:44 PM
15

I noticed many women are extremely naive about the men's experience of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 03:57 PM
2

I must say, the opinions of a guy on these questions does not determine his success or failure in dating. In a sense, you lost a purse in the evening and are looking for it under a street light rather than in a place where you most likely lost it. I would answer yes to your questions. Women are not worse in anything than men and can pursue their own happiness however they want. Intellectual connection is one of the conditions for a good relationship, but it is not the only one or at least a main…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 03:52 PM
2

It's easier to compensate for lack of other traits than lack of attractiveness. I think, setting a goal and working towards it gives more results in education and career. Just compare education and attractiveness: if you studied while being in the university and had good grades, the university officials won't tell you "Yeah, that's ok, but we just don't have chemistry so no degree for you". Being unattractive is more frustrating because you can't really do much about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 04:00 PM
1

Not fetishized -> not concerned
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 03:53 PM
1

Because for a long term relationship a man’s value is (himself+commitment). This value may be higher than the value of a top guy who is not going to commit.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 01:42 AM
2

As for raising a son… I think the biggest mistake parents do is raising a generic son or daughter. I hope, I’ll be able to understand what kind of person my child will be. Probably, he’ll be an impulsive boy, who will need to be taught that hitting other kids is not good. Probably, he’ll be the opposite and will need encouragement in setting boundaries and being assertive. If he’ll have problems with dating, I’ll give him some literature on the topic. I’m not an expert myself, so I’ll say it’s t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 01:34 AM
2

To give you a perspective, my father was in the family, but was not that involved. He performed basic stuff, but we don’t have close relationships. I think my parents believed I would figure out everything on my own. To be honest, I did to a degree. But I’d like my parents to teach me how to be more competitive and status-driven, how to express aggression, how to do things you want instead of “right” things, how to break or go around the rules if you need to. As for dating specifically, I’d like…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 05:57 PM
2

Not him, but I have similar thoughts. Probably, I will not go as far as to having IVF, but I’ll certainly keep my fingers crossed for 20 weeks in hope it’s a girl. I think, there are two important areas in life: professional or romantic. In professional sphere, you need to be in a sphere, which advertises for “we want women-in-this-field”. Probably, it will change, but if it won’t, it’s a good option. In romantic area, women have so many advantages that I don’t want to list them, as it already i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 05:04 PM
2

Spot on. People like to forget there is this set of skills a man must have in order to succeed with women. Do they believe “talk to her like to a person” is already a comprehensive advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 04:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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