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oneknocka Archive

View 0 posts and 210 comments by oneknocka on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Bro, sorry you going through that but you are right. Its only money
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 05:11 PM
13

This is such a weird question bc lots of men dont. But if i was to generalize, older women are usually more mature and know what they want, have less bs. Single moms tend to value their time with you more since its more fleeting. Younger women can be fun but they tend to be more self-conscious, more party focus, wanting to be out, seen, entertained. I get it, i was heavy in the party seen myself at one point.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 12:26 PM
2

It will probably never make sense to you and thats ok. You have everyone here saying the same thing. You are trying to use logic to understand emotion and It just doesn’t work that way. There’s a good chance that she doesn’t understand it herself. Things get so much calmer once you let go. I’m at the point now where my ex’s actions amuse me vs triggering me
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 05:59 PM
4

🏆
/r/MensRights20/02/26 05:48 PM
6

I go above and beyond when i can. My kids are worth it and they also understand my situation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 08:46 PM
1

LOL
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 03:46 PM
2

Ok, i was gonna question this therapist angle but i can see that. However, I dont know what a lap dance costs but copays are about $20, for one hour. So i think a therapist would be cheaper
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 12:21 PM
2

He also used physical abuse. You cant talk about this situation without mentioning that. She very well could have enjoyed parts, those texts could be genuine, but when you factor in the violent abuse, it warps things
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 06:28 PM
4

At the end of the day, you want to be able to tell your kids you tried everything, with it sounds like you did. Very good advice so far, the only thing i will add is for you to get into some therapy. Might be a good idea for your son as well. All the shenanigans your ex has pulled might come to light as well
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 03:44 PM
1

NP
/r/PussyPassDenied27/01/25 07:18 PM
19

Life for the mom, with minimum of 20. They recommended 18 for the dad, but he could get as much as 30. Article is weird in that it says he was sentenced but the actual sentence isnt included.
/r/PussyPassDenied27/01/25 03:57 PM
0

Isn’t this illegal? Or has that changed?
/r/MensRights05/01/25 03:17 PM
10

Yeah, but they have less wrinkles when they get older. I’m in my 50s now and the difference is astounding among people my age.
/r/MensRights09/11/24 12:45 PM
1

When i went through something like this (not as bad), it did make me angry but mostly sad and depressed. That’s what this behavior does. And that is no way to be. We shouldn’t have to depend on someone else for our happiness, but come on, this is a partner! You got a lot of good advice here. Talk to a lawyer about divorce. See a therapist about your sadness and depression. Start working on you! Your family will b better off for it and so will you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 06:53 PM
10

This is so stupid.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/05/24 07:04 PM
2

Its not fucking her, its what you are entitled to by law
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 01:43 AM
1

My wife commenced with the divorce after a few years. They don’t expire. The initiation date is important as some financial info depends on it
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 08:45 PM
6

My ex-wifes came back….after we divorced. 🤷🏾
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 12:11 PM
1

In NYS i believe it goes by the RJI date.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 02:46 PM
1

True
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 11:28 AM
4

I have a feeling that this post is going to get cross posted somewhere
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 08:26 PM
19

How did i know what that stood for?!??
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 08:14 PM
3

Dayum!
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:30 PM
1

401k is based on the amount when they first filed. Pension is length of marriage, i believe. So if married for 20 years but retired after 40, then half of the pension is affected and spouse gets a percentage of that half
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 07:11 PM
2

If it is reported on taxes i think it counts. But with uber, i would imagine certain deductions apply. I’m assuming you are in NY
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 07:08 PM
2

I kinda understand what you are saying. I’ve been living “alone” for over a decade. There is definitely peace in that, but i must admit, the loneliness is starting to get to me
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 04:22 PM
2

My ex and i had a normal convo at an event for the kids. It felt good. Month later shes trying to push buttons over child support (I pay what I’m obligated to and it is significant). Not only did it not phase me, it made me have concern over her mental health. I asked if she was ok. She didnt really respond but the convo died then and there. It feels sooooo good when you stop letting the power over your emotions. Thats a lot of power to give someone. I’m broke and I’m alone alot but damn does my…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:28 PM
2

It definitely depends on the state. In NYS its more like the example given. The problem with it is the one making more money has to give ALL the support money to the other spouse regardless of visitation or custody. So if support is 25% of income, all of it goes to the other spouse. When the spouse that is paying has the children, he has to pay extra because he still has to house and feed while he has them. So the amount of his income going towards support essentially doubles, depending on how o…
/r/PussyPassDenied25/07/23 06:32 PM
5

Yup
/r/PussyPassDenied22/07/23 10:23 PM
3

this breaks my heart. Fortunately, it sounds like it won't break you or your children.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 05:02 PM
28

I live in NYS and this is the case here. I am the monied spouse and have to pay my ex ALL the support money despite having them a few days a week.
/r/PussyPassDenied22/07/23 04:23 PM
64

Had a similar experience where my ex was neglectful and put our daughter in a dangerous position and she hurt herself. No surprise i was shocked and upset but ex acted like SHE was the victim! LOL! In the end i suggested therapy and she told me that i am the one that needs it. Guess who went and who didnt
/r/MensRights10/07/23 01:19 PM
3

Lmao at “until we fix men.” Some women promote the “my body, my rights,” until its about dating and men deciding not to participate, then its “we gotta fix you!”
/r/MensRights03/05/23 09:40 PM
1

They should ask why it has a bias
/r/MensRights15/04/23 04:20 PM
1

I remember i got jumped as a teenager. I defended myself but didn’t fight back. I vowed to never do that again. Got jumped again some years later and was proud of myself for fighting back. I was more surprised than they were. But it made me feel ok being my nerdy self knowing i knew how to handle myself in the streets.
/r/MensRights14/04/23 03:01 AM
2

Do we know they were a boy tho? The article doesn’t say. Still atrocious btw
/r/MensRights13/04/23 01:59 PM
6

I was all set to raise my pitchfork, until i remembered Lolita. Think it could b remade in this age?
/r/MensRights13/04/23 01:29 PM
31

I was gonna ask if that was considered rape. You only hear about it when it concerns a male guard
/r/PussyPassDenied12/03/23 07:13 PM
2

There are a lot of hobbies that mainly appeal to guys. I do bjj and it is very hard to retain women
/r/MensRights07/02/23 06:37 PM
3

Traveling man!
/r/MensRights07/02/23 06:36 PM
2

So did i. And yes, divorce eventually followed. I am much much much happier now
/r/MensRights12/12/22 09:57 PM
2

What the study doesn’t state or address is if sexual desire then increases if partners then subsequently do more of the household chores. I’ve read that it doesn’t
/r/MensRights12/12/22 09:54 PM
1

I think its similar to being a sugar daddy, i think.
/r/MensRights09/11/22 01:50 PM
1

I couldnt even read the entire article. After my divorce i became one of those guys that cherished his freedom. I dated but was “single” for a decade before i decided to settle down again. Why? Because too many of the women i encountered were too controlling. They wanted to come into my life and change my life and the value proposition just didnt add up. Being alone =/= lonely.
/r/MensRights09/11/22 01:47 PM
2

Yeah man, its scary, difficult, trying. But if you ride the wave you come out better in the end eventually. Glad to hear you make the turn around. It took much longer for me but i dont regret it as i put my kids first.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 01:02 PM
7

Video is on point but it isnt complete. Leave out the part where she settles. And he starts to embrace his alone time, enjoys the spartan lifestyle that less resources has led him to. He no longer gives her the power over his life she once had and he realizes the autonomy he does have. He uses his alone time to create a better version of himself. He is happier, people notice. He stands strong in the face of a crisis because he has weathered the storm. People like being around him because the bel…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 02:51 AM
7

Cmon! Lmao!
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 10:40 AM
2

I believe soulmates come in different forms. I have a really close female friend that i believe is my soulmate but there’s almost no possibility we will ever be together. Concerning lifelong mate, after over a decade of being single i do believe its possible to find that lifelong partner. You just have to be ok with compromise.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 10:39 AM
11

I'm not ready to say that abortion isn't a men's rights issue. It takes two people to make a baby. Obviously, I know biology and that the woman carries it, but before and after, a man is heavily responsible. I'm not ready to say a man has absolutely NO say in the matter. However, being a man living in a blue state, I am rather removed from this.
/r/MensRights03/05/22 06:12 AM
7

Very good point. That option is available for a survivor. Or, if the prospect of being a survivor is so much worse then why not choose the better option, that is, why not join the front lines then?
/r/MensRights18/04/22 06:02 PM
4

Theres no way this article makes sense to me. I cant find one angle.
/r/MensRights18/04/22 01:53 PM
3

Thanks! Onward and upward!
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 12:19 AM
3

So i get the gist of what you saying. It is something i adhered to for a long time. And i would subscribe to the podcasts like jocko and joe. I preordered david goggins book. I regular trained jiujitsu and hung out with my guy friends. But there came a point where that wasnt enough. And so i sought professional help. And found out i got ptsd from a fucked up child hood. Been walking around with that shit for over 40 years. Got treated for it and life has been grand! Travelled, met a nice young l…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 09:54 PM
5

Naw i get it, and what you posted is needed, for a lot of us. And let me say that i believe we all here are part of the same tribe, the tribe of divorced men. We ain’t gotta agree on everything, sometimes we fight, but we always hug it out at the end. Your response deserves a more detailed response so I’ll follow up later tonight
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 08:27 PM
2

I’m gonna be honest. I hate this kind of just man the fuck up type talk. Everyone has a different history and a different path. But its ok, we all dont have to agree on everything
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 07:11 PM
1

Not reconciled but I’m finally at a point where she doesnt trigger me anymore. We even exchange pleasant texts. Therapy and having a new partner thats much younger and better looking helps with that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 06:16 PM
2

Unless it is spelled out in the divorce decree. The IRS doesnt care about the decree but there is a form she can be made to fill out by the courts to abide by the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 06:07 PM
3

Wait. If everything is agreed upon and this is just a formality, i highly doubt attire will matter.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 02:16 PM
2

If she makes more money then she should be paying child support. I would hit up the bar association of your county and see if there are any agencies they can refer you to. As i understand it, representation is available for people with no funds
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 12:56 AM
4

She was already retired. It seemed like he had just found out he was entitled and then went to court
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 04:33 PM
2

First court appearance with me new attorney, she had a case right before me. She represented this lady whose exhusband was suing for part of her pension. She was crying because they had been divorced for a while and she didnt know how she was going to live on the reduced pension. My (her) attorney kept trying to explain to her that although he may have been an abusive husband and they werent married for that long he is still entitled to a part.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 03:30 PM
2

This is my understanding as well. If purchased before the marriage then it’s not a marital asset. Just have to have clear accounting to demonstrate that. Its crazy you gotta make moves like this, but its a situation where the failure rate is extremely high and when it does fail, the man is the one that suffers the most, no matter if he was a good husband or not.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 10:43 AM
1

I agree. That was foul
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 10:36 AM
9

Yeah, it definitely sounds like he is entitled to it, right?
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 10:47 PM
4

Did not know that. Thanks
/r/MensRights29/03/22 10:54 PM
3

I’ve read up on this a bit. The irs cares about who has custody for the majority of time. The irs doesnt care about the divorce decree. There is a form you (she) can sign from the irs that stipulates what the decree says. You can go to the court and the court can direct her to sign it (hypothetically). From what i read the irs should have caught this. If not then it may come up in audit.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 03:19 PM
7

I don’t think you should feel too much shame in reconnected. Hooking back up is pretty common with divorcing couples. Its very easy to fall back into what feels familiar. Just remember, as great as it feels, as easy as it is, its just as easy for her to nope out of there. Just take it for what it is, a little pocket of happiness during the time of chaos. I know your heart is broken, I’m sorry for that. There is a woman out there that you will be more compatible with.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 07:08 PM
1

I can see myself using this somewhere down the line
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:07 PM
1

Badumbum!
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:05 PM
-1

Child support isnt for the rest of your life
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 10:41 PM
0

Yeah, i am planning on it. Will probably do a prenup tho. The thing is i am not afraid of dying alone. I’ve been unattached for over a decade. I like my lifestyle. I like the freedom. A year ago i was telling the fellas absolutely not, LOL. Never again. Then i met someone that checked off a whole bunch of boxes on my list.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 10:38 PM
3

So from the way you laid it out, she is paying you your share of marital assets, but is not paying you child support and no alimony. On the surface, it looks like you would be entitled to a lot more. Buuuut, she also sounds supportive. Saying you can stay in the house with her for a year? Paying for education? You signed a contract but was it notarized? Was it signed in front of an attorney? Was the document accepted by the court? I think you have time to at least consult with an attorney. It do…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 09:55 PM
1

So you make time for work, her kids, and her. Gotta make time for yourself bro. And yeah, the art of fighting without fighting is pretty legit
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 07:49 PM
1

It sounds really hectic and harsh. She will keep pushing because you a nice guy, good parent, and accommodating. Time can ALWAYS be found for therapy tho. We talking one hour periods, whether its weekly, biweekly or monthly. You owe it to yourself. And there are remote options out there, so you can even do it during lunch.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 05:43 PM
1

Also get into therapy my dude. You are letting her have way too much power over your well being.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 02:17 PM
5

This. It will come in cycles. Sometimes you’ll feel close, sometimes distant, but in time, she won’t have that influence over you anymore. Don’t let her have that power. Just focus on being a better you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 03:36 AM
1

In our divorce decree we have it spelled out how we can claim each kid every year. We basically split evenly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 10:54 PM
3

It depends on which state you live in, in NYS it depends on who makes the most money. Since yall salaries are so close i am thinking there wont be anything. Also, shouldnt the trigger date be the date you requested judicial intervention? Is your separation a legal one?
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 03:18 PM
3

Title IV, pro se. are you an attorney? LOL
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 03:17 PM
4

I feel your pain. Its a lonely pain because no one cares. No one cares about what fathers go through. My identity was so caught up in being a father. Still is. I absolutely LOVE being a father. And that is what keeps me going. Life is so different without them. The best advice i ever got on here is to take care of yourself. Take care of your health so that when the time comes you can enjoy your life. It does get better with time but I’ll be honest, the pain never fully goes away. I take solace i…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 09:47 PM
5

You know what? You need to stop being accommodating and start putting yourself first. That is what she is doing. I absolutely love my kids. During divorce my ex was getting everything she wanted and more. I tried to get more time with my kids and she fought that. So i said ok, how about less? I asked for every other weekend vs every weekend. I miss my kids but having that autonomy is priceless. Previously, if i wanted to travel for the weekend i would have to coordinate with the ex. Now, i aint …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 04:20 PM
2

Thanks bro i appreciate that. Yeah life is so much better now, so much happier. Money ain’t everything. My problems are first world problems. Like my iphone isn’t the latest model, but its still good. My car isn’t luxury but it’s still only a few years old, etc. i got my autonomy, I’m set to retire in less than ten years, and my new lady is so much more beautiful, inside and out. I learned from my past mistake and took my time before getting serious again, LOL. Like yeeeeaaars. Thanks for the co…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 01:03 PM
1

I didnt have that much money in cash to pay her the equity owed to her from the house. With the increase in payments for child support my new lower net income makes it very hard to manage. My expenses havent really changed, my debt is the same but my net income is down significantly. Now imagine an increased mortgage payment every month. You are correct in your assessment except that i am able to spread it out over three years. And if i suddenly obtain a windfall of sorts and pay it back, then n…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 03:24 AM
1

I apologize. My situation was different and your skepticism is correct. Rather than refinance my house i withdrew from 401k. Since that money was contributed pretax, i was taxed on it. I was able to withdraw it without penalty due to the CARES act. My thinking was i would rather pay the taxes vs the refinance fees (if any) and the higher mortgage. With my current mortgage i believe i would pay off the house sooner vs refinancing it. I apologize for the confusion.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 06:08 PM
1

In another post he talks about paying her child support
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 09:56 PM
1

Nah, for me it was for payment of marital assets. I paid taxes on it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 09:53 PM
1

Pretty sure during the previous administration they changed the tax laws so the person doing the paying pays the taxes and the person receiving it does not.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 09:28 PM
1

Bro, just read your other post. Your situation is rather serious. Yeah, you need to consult a lawyer and i would also advise you to seek out help for DV. Sounds like you are in a rather abusive relationship. Men can be victims of domestic violence too! I’m sorry you are going through this
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 09:10 PM
1

I’m relunctant to say exactly that. Only you know your situation and who you are dealing with. Most of us in this thread have gotten burned by trying to be accommodating. In the end, it didn’t matter how accommodating we were and the courts especially dont care. In the scenario i gave, you would be out more money by not going through the courts first but that money may be worth your peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 09:05 PM
8

Consult with an attorney. Is this a legal separation? Once you or she files is when the clock starts. Everything before that may not be taken into consideration. Concerning accounting, since you would be able to trace the path the funds take i would imagine transferring is acceptable. Edit: i just saw you said no attorneys are involved yet. This support you are giving her is within the confines of your marriage. As such, i dont think it comes into play during divorce. She is entitled to half mar…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 06:32 PM
2

That child support statement varies by state. In NYS it goes by whoever makes more. I was not required to pay alimony because she had got a fulltime job and was able to support herself. We had a long separation during which time she went to school and i supported her. Id imagine a judge would look at her ability to earn income and a good one at that and not require alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 04:12 PM
11

I remember the last time my ex pushed my buttons. I told my therapist about how upset it made me feel and how much it would derail the progress i was making, etc etc. Her response was “hmmm, thats a lot of power to give someone.” I cut that power off right then and there.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 08:05 PM
3

TBF, he did just leave the house with the kid and things didnt get better, they got worse
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 05:37 PM
3

Even if you aren’t a vet this is some good shit! Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 03:22 AM
18

She definitely did it to hurt you. Shit gets better tho
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 01:14 AM
6

I would say he has not been “uncancelled.” If you read the article, the author does a poor job of vindicating him.
/r/MensRights26/01/22 04:35 PM
4

Well over $24,000 is going directly from my account to hers yearly now and that hurts
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 10:09 PM
1

Dayum!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 10:08 PM
8

Wow, i thought i lost a lot losing $50k!
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 07:46 PM
1

Especially when you both agreed that it would be different than that.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 03:02 PM
7

Bruh, its been yeeeeears and I’m still good. Although i have found someone i like tho. Its funny, sometimes my daughters feel bad for me and i have to tell them, being alone and feeling lonely are two different things.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 10:39 PM
4

I agree. She definitely doing this on purpose and the courts will side with her
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 10:36 PM
1

Nah, shes a pretty lady and is in her profession. Her boyfriend lives with her now. We split up a while ago. It definitely wasnt easy for her to find someone and dude isnt her ideal but, I.dont.care. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 10:13 PM
1

Yeah, with my marriage, it was her idea to be a sahm, not mine. It took me a while to come around. I tried to take on some of the household duties, at her behest, but what started happening is i started doing more and more and she started doing less and less. So i started pulling back. I’m out making all the money, providing most of my meals, and i gotta do extra housework too? While she spend time with her friends and fam to decompress? It eventually came to a head. Now, i still support her in …
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 09:18 PM
1

In my sociology class we learned it was money. We were middle class. Owned our home, owned both our vehicles. Had just went on vacation in another state.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/21 02:11 PM
6

My ex was like this. I’ll never forget our last marriage counseling sesh, she finally “admitted” what was wrong and she was frustrated with all the cleaning she had to do (she was a sahm). We went our to dinner at our fav restaurant. Now that she got it out, oh yeah, lets work on this! I pledged to be more tidy and also get the kids more involved with cleaning. Thought everything was gravy. Then she spent the weekend at her siblings house (i assume, she coulda been dating) and comes back cold as…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/21 07:13 PM
1

At this point is it really his job to perform the root cause analysis? Why would we even assume he has the correct tools to even do that. I mean, thats why he sought professional help. At this point, i doubt hes getting out of this with the shirt on his back, however, he may be able to salvage his sanity. She didnt want to put in work to make the marriage work and now she is resorting to lies in order to obtain the best possible outcome for herself, no matter how unfair. I’m guessing her attorne…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 02:32 PM
1

Well, you are leaving out the part where he actually performed action where he got them into therapy. That cannot be discounted.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/21 01:50 PM
2

Its a bit of a jump to say he created this rage especially considering he tried to fix their situation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/21 04:20 PM
1

Yeah, i thought that for about a decade….. then i met someone. I think i would do a prenup tho. I’m not wealthy but the thought of having to do another payout is debilitating.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 04:49 PM
6

Well I’m glad you provided sources but your numbers aren’t far off from OP. Do it seems like things are improving but a far cry from equality.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 04:49 PM
1

this varies. In NYS it doesn't matter, the higher income earner pays ALL the CS to the lower income earner.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 05:17 PM
7

Did she just compare being fat to bring Black? Fuck outta here!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen31/05/21 03:14 AM
2

Bro, you will be ok. It will be extremely hard but you will get through it
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/21 02:36 AM
1

Tha amazing thing is that, well at least I hope, we have recovered. I have found that I can survive with less and my kids are very understanding
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/21 09:47 AM
2

same here! lol
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 05:07 PM
2

It's absolutely crazy. They absolutely exist. There are also relationships between the attorneys. Think about it, an attorney will represent a client for a short period of time but they will most likely interact with that other attorney a whole bunch of times. May as well form a relationship. But this thread has been a good resource. While I was going through it, I read a post where this guy said yes, it isn't fair. What you need to do is lower your standard of living, reduce your stress and get…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 03:18 PM
3

There is always someone worse, LOL. Mine gets all that support plus she’s a nurse, so makes a decent income. Plus her boyfriend lives with her. Those tax laws! Last year, due to divorce settlement she received >$50,000 from me tax free! And still tried to hit me up for more. I’m like wtf!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 10:51 AM
8

I’m >$2000 a month (4 kids).
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/21 02:27 AM
1

Dammit! And I like big butts too!
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 05:50 PM
1

That was a lot of proof homie
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 04:36 PM
3

I feel u brother! Don’t have unlimited pto but I got a lot. Almost at the max I can bank. Got one international trip scheduled. Three day weekends are lovely! I feel like I am finally recovering financially and I am very cautious about losing it all again. I may not like my ex but I can say she is a good enough mom so I don’t need a replacement
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 05:30 PM
2

one year, while separated but before divorce, my ex filed for all the kids, despite me telling her not to and despite us having a history of splitting the kids. She got the full return. During divorce my attorney brought it up, judge said it wasn't fair but her attorney made some argument and the judge bought it. So there was no consequence to her doing that. I just had to eat the thousands I would have gotten back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/21 04:21 AM
4

also, equity paid doesn't have to come from the house, meaning he doesn't have to sell or refinance if he can pay the equity by other means. Essentially he just has to buy her out.....if that's stated in the divorce decree. As for now he doesn't have to do shit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/21 05:33 PM
1

I think it’s the emotional aspect. Once u let that wall down I believe things will change. Also maybe stop eating meat.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 04:14 AM
1

Yep. In my current situation her net income is definitely higher than mine even though my gross is about 1/3 higher. I got a bunch of kids tho
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/21 11:43 AM
4

All.The.Time!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/03/21 01:27 PM
8

that's what caught my eye. Three years? LOL! yeah, ok.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 09:40 PM
5

Good.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/21 02:15 PM
8

U know exactly wtf I mean. Or perhaps context clues are a little too complex for u. Was referring to “reverts” or “converts.”
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/02/21 07:44 PM
9

Astounding!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/02/21 07:41 PM
7

Not defending her position at all but this approach doesn’t work for all Muslims, especially the ones that have taken shahadah and thusly do not have the family networks.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/02/21 07:06 PM
13

Ooofff!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/02/21 07:00 PM
13

What do the top 20% of men chase?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/02/21 07:00 PM
7

This sucks. It isn’t fair. I went through/am going through my own thing. Judge awarded my ex ALL the child support even though I have them 1/3 of the time. So when they are with me I gotta spend extra. The best advice I found on here was to extremely lower my expenses and live an extremely frugal and healthy lifestyle. That’s all I got. One guy posted on here that he spent about $100,000 trying to fight his situation to no avail. Cards are stacked against us. But there is light at the end of the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/21 06:54 PM
2

The state doesn’t have to get a percentage. In my state it’s actually the county that handles child support and u aren’t obligated to go through them
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/21 06:34 PM
1

I started reading this then I just stopped
/r/MensRights05/02/21 11:31 PM
2

Good question. It was in between. She had wanted a divorce some years before and filed. As part of the process we met with someone from the court that gave us this parenting plan. She told us it was voluntary. I reluctantly agreed to it. Ex withdrew her divorce request but we continued to follow the schedule. Because we had been following it for so long and partly because the court suggested it before, it became official during our actually divorce proceedings, with a slight modification
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/20 05:38 PM
3

Exactly!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/10/20 03:42 PM
17

a red flag for me is when they tell me what I can do if I am not interested. I know very well what I can do if I am not interested, thank you very much. I feel as though they are already starting out as bossy.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/10/20 12:53 PM
1

Doesn’t matter, they get away with a lot! I still have never even seen my ex’s statement of net worth
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/20 08:31 PM
2

We had a parenting plan we had been following voluntarily. The court upheld it, basically
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/20 08:22 PM
3

You tell him No! That is messed up to have her do that. You have to nip that in the bud. If not, they will constantly violate you. Your sons may be a little hurt, upset, but if you are an engaged and supportive father they may not even remember it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 04:28 PM
2

LOL at that last line. Peace of mind is soooo underrated. Years are welling up as I think about the level of peace I have now. No more manipulation, gas lighting, emotional outbursts. The courts aren’t fair. They have every advantage, yet and still it can’t come close to the value of peace.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/20 01:53 PM
1

I'm pretty sure those are two different issues. I pay CS and HI but there are 2 different sections in my divorce decree stipulating these two.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/20 07:17 PM
1

I agree, only you can decide how much time you need. I'm 8 years out and I still haven't settled down and found the "one." I definitely needed to heal but I had went through a bunch of stuff. I think I'm on the extreme end. I saw if you are happy then that is your barometer!
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/20 11:43 PM
1

disease of meaning. yes, it passes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/20 02:09 AM
0

That last line tho! LMAO!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/05/20 11:37 AM
4

don't know what state you are in but it may help you with child support if you have the boys most of the time. If and when you sit her/them down, try to be as amicable as possible. I know it is painful, but she wronged you and needs to make it right. There is a window there where she may actually feel guilty. Soon, she will try to convince you that she deserves this and it was all your fault, etc blah blah blah. Meanwhile, you know what eventually has to be done. Demonstrating a pattern will hel…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/20 04:35 PM
5

LOL! Funny!
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/20 05:01 AM
1

if they are digital they had to come from somewhere. who did you file with? I would contact them and get another copy of last year's return.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 04:26 AM
1

they all may be working remotely.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 04:25 AM
1

Don't know the answer but I remember at my first hearing, my attorney was also representing a lady who's ex husband wanted part of her pension. They were married years ago and now that she is retired, he wanted part of her pension. I remember she was crying because she said she couldn't live on what was left after he took his share (pretty sure it wasn't half but I don't know). Didn't matter though. He got his share.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/20 08:57 PM
2

In some states. NYS is NOT like this. They go by the monied spouse. But i agree, your suggestion should be the default
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/20 10:34 PM
3

Rage. Sadness. You're entitled to your feelings. Shit is fucked up. Know that you didn't do anything wrong. At least that's how it reads. It's been noted that egalitarian marriages have their issues. Sounds like this may have occurred. It's time to armor up. The last thing you want, the last thing you deserve, is to be completely walked over during the divorce process. Your wife is a very patient person. She has seen the outcome of you two splitting a while ago. Going to counseling was just her …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/20 09:03 PM
2

and chokes. Hugs and chokes is what it's all about.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/20 05:37 PM
2

Kudos for BJJ. Sometimes I think I like it more than dating.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/20 04:43 PM
5

Word. It sucked to get here and the process was definitely unfair but like you said, it's so much better on the other side without the daily psychological abuse. I won't lie, sometimes I wonder if I was just too sensitive sometimes, that maybe I would overreact sometimes. Then I realize it doesn't matter. Engaging in no contact covers both scenarios and i feel absolutely great right now!
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/20 04:11 PM
2

eh, I fought for 50/50, twice, and didn't get it. so I said fuck it, went the other way. Now I'm 2.5 days out of 7 (was 3 out of 7). I now have every other weekend free. Love it. It came at a cost that was steep, but not having to deal with her was worth it. I didn't move out the house either.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/20 04:06 PM
1

man, once I read about narcissistic personality disorder, everything just clicked! Unfortunately, the solution isn't getting even, parity. The solution is just learning how to let it go. Once that shit don't affect you anymore life is golden.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/20 02:05 PM
1

I'm pretty sure you each are supposed to pay for clothes. It probably differs by state though.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 09:02 PM
2

except it doesn't always work out like that. Different states have different methods of doing it. NYS has a calculator but it goes like this: Let's say I make $100 and she makes $60. In NYS, since she makes less, she gets ALL of the support money, so, let's say, for 4 kids the calculator says it's 32%. 100-32=68. 60+32=92. 68<>92. Plus you still have to feed and support the kids when you have them. So it's almost like you pay double. But like someone said here, and I read before, there is no ben…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 09:02 PM
2

see, I think this attitude is total bullshit. Yeah, we decided to marry them, but that doesn't make the root of the problem belong to us. Doing so totally absolves them and the courts of any accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 08:56 PM
4

hmmm. subbing because I want to know what the answer to this is too. I think I'm too independent for my own good. I haven't had someone sleep in my bed for over 5 years...and I'm ok with that. I take care of myself and my kids pretty adequately. I feel like if I had a good partner I could do more, but I'm doing ok right now. I've met some good people through the years, still keep in touch with a few, but the jumping through hoops stuff, I just can't get with. I don't know. That fairy tale ending…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 08:48 PM
3

congrats on your sobriety brother! I didn't block my ex, we have kids, but I did put her on silent years ago. Oh boy did it help! It's been years since I've done that and I still get anxiety when I see a text from her. The way I deal with it is I NEVER respond right away. I take at least an hour, sometimes a day. Obviously if it's an emergency I respond quicker. I had asked my lawyer if I ever have to talk to her again and she said nope! Toxic energy, my friend. I feel like she doesn't deserve t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/20 02:31 PM
1

I'm trying to get a blackbelt in jiujitsu.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/02/20 04:45 PM
1

LOL!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 07:36 PM
1

Whoa! I think we have to slow down here. Its franks or nothing, lol. If u cant use franks then u go to bbq sauce or something
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 06:46 PM
1

BWW is very competitive to any place in buffalo, surprisingly.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/20 03:59 PM
2

nothing. I'm almost 50 and I just can't see the upside, or at least enough to mitigate the risk.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/20 07:48 PM
2

she was on anti-depressants when we first started dating. I had a friend she hated because he would travel with the boyfriend of her friend where this boyfriend would rendezvous with his old girlfriend. So, she didn't like my friend but did like the boyfriend that cheated. Had her brothers kick me out the house once after an argument where I acquiesced. To be fair, I didn't let them intimidate me, but after we all realized there was nothing, I asked if she still wanted me to leave and she said y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/20 07:40 PM
1

you gotta go down to the court house and try. I know my attorney told me that this is what I need to do for my CS once kids start reaching of age.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/20 05:57 PM
1

Youre welcome friend.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/20 04:18 AM
6

You actually don't have to do anything if you don't want to. You don't have to divorce. You can stay. You can keep trying. It's your life and it's ok. You should prepare though, just in case. You don't have to execute but you should prepare. Just in case. You can do both at the same time. Instead of discussing your situation here, you should discuss with a therapist and an attorney but I think you already know that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/20 08:34 PM
3

Yeah, I was about to say fuck this response. I don't have my kids full time and I am taking the money to buy her our from my retirement account vs refinancing. The math works out so much better. Buuuut, my house is cheap, lol! In a cheap neighborhood. I scrolled up to see the dollar amount needed. " throwing good money to maintain a bad position"
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/20 08:25 PM
3

U now have to have a serious concern for your safety and your kids safety. U need to make a contigency plan for if things go south. U should see a therapist first. This is abuse. I would not feel safe in that situation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/20 10:34 PM
1

filing first may mean you carry more of the costs, like purchasing the RJI (index number). Not much more tho
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/20 04:59 PM
1

A lot!
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/20 04:58 PM
1

And those difficult days will continue to come but they are DEFINITELY temporary. When i look back, participating in those things are what helped get me through. Nothing works for every scenario tho.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 06:08 PM
3

There are going to be high's and low's. Sometimes you'll be really good, sometimes you'll struggle, but I think you already have the toolbox to deal with this: "exercising, eating right, meditating."
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 03:55 PM
1

Damn that's deep!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/20 03:52 PM
1

very low priority she'll be sanctioned, just for the fact that she's an attorney. Just like cops protect cops, so to speak, Judges give attorneys a lot of leeway.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/19 01:00 AM
1

" she couldn't believe that I wanted one so quickly " but she wanted you to believe that separating for a month was a good thing?
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/19 02:31 PM
2

yep
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/19 12:26 AM
2

Or how about costs money
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 01:27 AM
2

LOL true!
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/19 01:27 AM
3

I have mine programmed as money, with a picture of lois from malcolm in the middle yelling. My kids actually think its funny, they get it
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 11:34 PM
1

I want to see what happens when support stpps. What happens when they get accustomed to that lifestyle and then cant support it? Do they cut back? Get a job? Have more kids?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/19 06:07 PM
5

very good response!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/19 03:20 PM
2

I think documentation is the best route. If you feel the meds and stuff is overboard, then you don't have to give them. As someone else suggested, obtaining medical advice may help. But ultimately, you are going to have to document history, show a trend. build a case. Either for her to see her behavior or someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/19 06:40 PM
12

I agree! If she wants you to spend more time with the kids then why doesn't she have the custody agreement amended? Simple as that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/19 07:18 PM
2

It depends on what state youre in. In NYS the monied spouse would pay the non monied spouse child support. I say talk to her about the extra money u would need. She may b willing to pay that vs being ordered to pay more through the court
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/19 04:50 PM
2

Same
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/19 02:52 PM
1

My stbx bought a house after we received the order. Does anyone know of a case where someone was punished for contempt? In my situation everyone was like meh. I would think you would have a small claims case against your fa. It would be worth the court fee to try it. NAL.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 06:17 AM
1

The best thing u can do is show patience. U may need to change lawyers. U must persist. U have to use your rational brain vs emotional brain. When u use your emotional brain u can make mistakes. Your girls need u to stay strong. This is advice i received and it helped.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 02:55 AM
1

Brother, all i can say is maintain. This is really sad to hear. My ordeal was pretty long, i was up and i was down. Now that its finally coming to a close i feel much better. I cant lend any advise towards your case. I would suggest talking to your dr about the thoughts youve been having. I would also advise u to document everything. One thing that helped me was writing emails about what is going on, no matter how brutal, and sending it to close family and friends. This process has evolved into …
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/19 01:34 AM
1

Hey, how r u doing? Has it gotten better for u?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/19 10:50 PM
1

is the mediator an attorney? http://www.nycourts.gov/courts/ad2/attorneymatters_ComplaintAboutaLawyer.shtml
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/19 04:17 PM
1

That makes a lot of sense
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/19 05:47 PM
1

I am going through one now and definitely saw court reporter there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/19 11:51 PM
1

? A court reporter is present in the court room.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/19 06:57 PM
2

You can try calling the court. My stbxw didnt show for an appearance. Didnt make a difference.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/19 02:30 AM
2

yep, in time it really won't matter as much. But right now you're entitled to your sadness. Sadness helps us to understand what we value.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/19 06:32 PM
2

LOL thanks. I was in my feelings that day.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/19 12:43 PM
1

Yeah, unfortunately theres nothing u can do. Best way to deal with it is basically not care, if u know what i mean
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/19 07:47 AM
2

I know in nys they have standards and goals which means that the case has to be done in like a year. I'm wondering if u could get back child support when u do actually appear.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/19 07:32 AM
1

This gives me hope, kind of. Wife left 7 yrs ago and i still havent found that special someone but she's still out there, right?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/19 07:24 AM
1

I live in NY. It shouldnt matter. It didnt matter for me. Judge didnt even take it into consideration. Ex works night shift 3 days a wk every week.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/19 03:37 PM
1

nah, its not based on gross. they do take some things out. for one child no way should they be taking 50% out. I have 4 kids and it's 31% of my net.
/r/MensRights11/07/19 01:16 AM
2

you're off a bit though. It's not just about what laws exist but how they are enforced.
/r/TheRedPill05/04/18 07:02 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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